From Our Nest - Winter 2014

CONNECTING PARENTS ACROSS THE OZARKS Winter 2014 Vol. 2 / Issue 4

THE GIFT

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OF GIVING

TIPS ON SHARING THE SPIRIT WITH YOUR KIDS

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Stitches, Lots of

Love

Photo Credit: Simply Taken photos by Jen

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CONTENT DIRECTOR

Kandice Matteson kandice@fromournestmag.com

DIY Happy Memories Catcher

From Our Nest Publications P.O. Box 9641 Springfield, Missouri, 65801

20 The Dish On Warming Hearts Skinny! Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup

www.FromOurNestMag.com Proud member of

OUR MISSION: As a journalist and designer duo juggling careers with motherhood and household management, we hope to be an invaluable resource for fellow parents in southwest Missouri seeking local resources and information from local parents and experts. We aim to promote a tighter sense of community in the Ozarks through educational and entertaining articles in our FREE quarterly magazine.

SUBMISSIONS: All unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Written changes may be sent to the advertising, editorial and creative office at P.O. Box 9641, Springfield, Missouri, 65801.

From Our Nest is an independently published quarterly by From Our Nest Publications, LLC, and is distributed free of charge. It is no way affiliated with The Nest website produced

by The Knot. To receive complimentary copies of From Our Nest to redistribute at your place of business, please contact us at (937) 286-9434.

No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without the express written consent of From Our Nest Publications.

Copyright Š2014. All rights reserved.

ON THE COVER

07 10 12 21 27

Featured Advertiser Love Local Buy Local

Momtrepreneur Dandylions, Gabby Lampe

Gift of Giving Tips on sharing the spirit with your kids

From the Guidance Office Tips on overcoming stress

Sweepstakes Rodan + Fields

In Every Issue 05 Featured Photographer Simply Taken photos by Jen

20 om

n.c

19 Pinspiration

o ve

Local groups offer support through the grieving process

me

Stephanie Lindberg stephanie@fromournestmag.com

16 Finding Help to Heal

eso

C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R

Special Section

Photo Credit: w w w.gimm

CONTENTS

SKINNY! CREAMY CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

Columns 04 Thrifty Tips Finding interview attire on a tight budget

08 Homeschooling Families Be informed: Homeschooling Laws

23 Breastfeeding Support A first line of defense for baby

26 Mrs. White Hearts Art Radial design snowflakes

19

CAPTURE THE HAPPY TIMES

05 From Us Holiday traditions

24 Non-profit On Angels’ Wings Foundation

Printed by Print Group, Inc. in Ozark, Mo.

www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 3

COLUMN

| THRIFTY TIP

ByBy Cris Swaters Cris Swaters Before you head out to hit the stores here are some tips for the types of items you should be on the lookout for when looking for interview attire: Dark, neutral colors are your best friend in an interview.

They are professional and sleek. Plus, when you interview, you want your personality to scream “HIRE ME!” and not a hot pink pantsuit.

1

Finding

INTERVIEW ATTIRE ON A TIGHT BUDGET Presentable fashion on a budget is one of the hardest thrifty tips to master. Falling on hard times can make purchasing clothing an even more daunting task; however, if you’re out looking for work or interviewing for a job, the best thing you can do to help your search is to look the best you can.

For shopping on a budget, we live in one of the best areas. The Ozarks is bursting at the seams with upscale resale stores and thrift shops. With a little patience and an eye for the right style, you can get an outfit (or two) on even the smallest of budgets.

2

Shoes for an interview should be modest, clean and neutral with a low heel.

3

A suit jacket can complete an interview look and really make it look polished.

The bottom half of any interview attire should be pants or a modest skirt. Shorts are never an option for a professional interview.

4

A pop of color in your interview attire can help you stand out in a subtle way. Your pop of color should never be something neon or ultra-bright, but instead be something subdued like a dark blue, green or red.

5

Skin that is showing after you have your outfit on should be very modest. If you go for a skirt, it should go at least to the top of your knee. Your top should be buttoned as to not show off a lot of cleavage.

6

With those tips in mind, there are a vast array of resale stores and thrift shops that you can visit to find some great items at a great deal. Try checking out some of these stores:

Springfield • The Plaid Door, 1920 E. Sunshine St • Red Racks Thrift Store, 1749 S. Campbell, 2855 S. Kansas Expy and 1711 N. Glenstone Ave • Plato’s Closet, 1258 E. Battlefield Rd • Uptown Cheapskate, 1724 E. Battlefield Rd

Ozark • Wheezies Upscale Resale, 103 W. Church St • Neat Repeats, 911 W. Jackson St

Branson • Wheezies Upscale Resale, 128 U.S. 65 Business • Consignment Clothing Exchange, 4370 Gretna Rd • Humane Society Thrift Store, 2837 Shepherd of the Hills Expy

CRIS SWATERS is the communications coordinator at White River Valley Electric Co-op and a lover of extreme couponing, frugal living, social media and healthy home cooking. Get more tips and healthy eating recipes from Cris at www.purrfectportions.wordpress.com.

4 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

This isn’t an exhaustive list of stores where you can snag a great deal. Just remember when you go into the store to look for interview attire, you have to be patient to find the best pieces. Sometimes it can take a little time to wade through racks and racks of clothing until you find the right piece for the right price. www.fromournestmag.com

F ROM U S

FEAT U RED PHOTOGR AP HER

Every family has its own holiday traditions, and we’re no different! Get a glimpse of our traditions here; share your own with us on Facebook or Twitter!

KANDICE MATTESON CONTENT DIRECTOR

12 Days

10

Catch a glimpse of the memories Simply Taken photos by Jen caught of Gabby Lampe and her sons.

Photo Credit: Simply Taken photos by Jen

Starting Dec. 21 and ending Jan. 1, our daughters get one gift each evening through the 12 days, though I hope to alternate days as they get older so each gets 4 – 6 quality gifts. During that time, we highlight nine virtues, and as a family talk about how we demonstrate and achieve them throughout the year.

Photographer Jennifer Snider www.simplytaken.smugmug.com www.Facebook.com/Simply-Taken-photos-by-Jen Jennifer Snider is an on-location photographer serving Springfield and the surrounding area. She has been doing portrait photography for about seven years. She specializes in maternity and children’s photography, from newborn to high school senior photos. She also photographs family sessions and small events, such as birthday parties and weddings, as well as nature photography. She is a volunteer photographer for On Angels’ Wings. And is also a member of Love Local Buy Local and the Masterminds of Biz.

STEPHANIE LINDBERG CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Milk & Cookies Every year as a child, my older sister and I would put out a cup of milk and a plate of cookies on Christmas Eve for Santa. I remember thinking how much he deserved it after having to travel across the entire world. But I often wondered how he could eat that many cookies and drink that much milk in one night. This is a tradition I now get to carry on with my son.

Read more about our traditions, including the traits Kandice’s family highlights and a cookie recipe from Stephanie, on our blogs at www.fromournestmag.com.

Share your family’s traditions with us on Facebook and Twitter. And find our favorite holiday crafts on Pinterest at Pinterest.com/FromOurNestMag

Would you like to represent your region by producing our future cover?

Submit samples of your work to ArtDirector@FromOurNestMag.com or mail them to From Our Nest, Attn to: Art Director, P.O. Box 9641, Springfield, Missouri, 65801. www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 5

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STRENGTHEN OUR LOCAL ECONOMY

Love Local Buy Local gives shoppers more reasons to find local shopping destinations

By Kandice Matteson

Springfield offers small city charm with big city luxuries. Keeping this uniqueness is what drives Love Local Buy Local.

As a small business itself, Love Local Buy Local offers shoppers, like yourself, incentives to keep your hard-earned money in the community.

Buying local generates about 70 percent more local economic activity, according to economic studies. With a stronger local economy, our community continues to grow and thrive, attracting new and growing existing resources, activities and businesses for families.

Shopping with a Love Local Buy Local card in hand opens the door to roughly 70 great local spots to save at, and the list is growing all the time. For an affordable $10 for a card that offers member business’s deals time and time again for a year, you’re sure to save more than your initial investment.

Love Local Buy Local gives the local business community a way to drive traffic and network while shoppers benefit by saving money and investing in their community.

The Greater Springfield area is built on the small businesses that bring flavor and variety to our community. Keep it strong and flourishing when you Love Local Buy Local.

Love Local Buy Local gives our small business a great opportunity to attract new costumers and also to reward our community for investing in local businesses.

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FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 7

C O L U M N | HOMESCHOOLING FAMILIES

By Jackie Wedge

BE INFORMED:

HOMESCHOOLING

LAWS

As a homeschool parent, something I have been rather aloof about is the homeschool laws in Missouri. It is a pretty well known fact that you do not have to log your child’s school hours until they are seven. But, beyond that, I’m a little lost.

For myself, and others like me, this column is dedicated to us! My desire is that this column provides a one-stop place to learn about Missouri laws in a simple and concise way.

Missouri’s Department of Education does not monitor or regulate homeschooling in Missouri.

The state also does not have authority to issue regulations or guidelines concerning home schooling. There is no requirement of having to register your child with the state. However, Section 167.042 of the Revised Statutes of Missouri, states that a parent or guardian may notify the superintendent of schools or the recorder of county deeds, in the county where the child legally resides, of their intent to homeschool. This is to be done before September 1 annually. No more than $1 service cost will be charged per child being registered.

8 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

FAST FACTS According to Section 167.031 of the Revised Statues of Missouri, any child between the ages of 7 and 17 must regularly attend public, private, parochial, parish, home school or a combination of such schools. Any parent, regardless of his/ her own education, has the freedom to home educate.

As a homeschooled student, your child must have 1,000 hours of instruction during the school year, with at least 600 hours in the basics, which are: reading, language arts, mathematics, social studies and science. At least 400 of the 600 hours shall occur in the home location.

A completed credit toward high school graduation is defined as 100 hours or more of instruction in a course.

A parent who is home schooling a child must maintain the following records: 1. A plan book, diary, daily log, or other written record indicating the subjects taught and the activities engaged in with the student; 2. A portfolio containing samples of the student’s academic work; 3. A record of evaluation of the student’s academic progress; or 4. Other written, or credible evidence equivalent to a, b and c.

5. The school year is defined as beginning July 1 and ending the next June 30.

6. Children with disabilities attending a home school program may receive special education services provided by the local school district, in accordance with Section 162.996 of the Revised Statutes of Missouri, and the State Plan for Special Education. (Homeschooling- MO Dept. of Elementary and Secondary Education Online) www.fromournestmag.com

Shemonline.org has a printable spreadsheet to track hours as well as a sample withdrawal letter if you are removing your child from the public school system.

Other organizations I highly recommend joining are the Families for Home Education (FHE) and the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). Here’s why: • Through the FHE, you become a part of protecting Missouri’s home educator’s right to home school their children as they want. They have been actively working to secure this fundamental right for 25 years.

• The HSLDA “is a nonprofit advocacy organization established to defend and advance the constitutional right of parents to direct the education of their children and to protect family freedoms. Through annual memberships, HSLDA is tens of thousands of families united in service together, providing a strong voice when and where needed.” They can represent members in matters that include conflict with state and local officials and advocate on Capitol Hill, in state legislatures, in the media and for the homeschool movement in general by providing research on the progress of homeschooling.

We are now expecting our fourth child due this February. I have loved the flexibility homeschooling has offered. I started my school year early so that our “summer” will begin when the baby is born, that way I can rest and the family as a whole can take a break and enjoy our new addition. Of course, school never really stops in our home. We do lessons throughout the summer and breaks even. We have fun with it and try to shy away from creating some sort of concrete mold we must fit in.

You’re there for them.

Homeschool hours can be very creative within a homeschool setting. If your child is learning something, you can count it as hours. Just fit it into whatever category it associates with. Cooking using a recipe can be math or science, a puppet show can be drama, riding a bike can be PE, using their money to make a purchase is math, driving in the car listening to memory work, etc. The possibilities are endless!

We as Missourians are so fortunate and blessed to live in a state that recognizes and protects our rights as homeschoolers. However, we must continue to fight for this right by joining groups such as the FHE and HSLDA. Let’s continue to advocate and stand up for this wonderful right!

JACKIE WEDGE has a bachelor’s degree in marketing from Missouri State University and likes to joke that she attended school to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschool her three boys. She is also involved at her church, where she volunteers and works in the Early Childhood Department. She has a heart for single moms and is the Children’s Program Director for SingleMomzRock. Visit her website, www.hopeineverything.com, dedicated to bringing hope to the hopeless through real life stories, including resources for military families and single moms.

We’re here

for you.

Join Us Book Study First Friday of every month

Financial Wellness Workshop January 23, 2015

3rd Annual Valentine’s Banquet February 14, 2015

Greene County Libraries Resource Representative March 20, 2015 “He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.” Psalm 62: 6 –7

www.singlemomzrock.com www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 9

By Kandice Matteson

Photos by: Simply Taken photos by Jen

MOMTREPRENEUR

1907C S. Glenstone Avenue Springfield, MO 65804

417.890.4667 www.shopdandylions.com facebook/shopdandylions instagram@shopdandylions Proud member of

10 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

MEET

GABBY

LAMPE www.fromournestmag.com

I have two boys, Graham is 4 and Griffith turned 1 in October. Graham calls Dandylions my “shirt shop” and loves to help me work. Griffith is my littlest employee and comes to work with me three days a week. They are both great models!

How long have you been in business?

We opened the Boutique in August 2014. We started with a “Friends and Family Sneak Peek Week” and officially opened to the public on August 12. Before that my sister-in-law and I had a booth inside Relics Antique Mall and sold on Etsy.

GRIFFITH

What are your kids’ names and ages?

What inspired you to start your own business? Why Dandylions?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I started sewing my own baby products and fell in love with the craft. I had a hard time finding cute boy stuff, so I thought: Why not just make my own? I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur, and when I had my first son in 2010, the desire to spend more time with family only grew. It was that year I wrote my business plan for Dandylions. I went back to work as the director of marketing and outreach for a local clinic and enjoyed it. But after I had my second son in 2013, I knew I needed to do what I loved. There are so many unique things out there that I wanted to share with other moms, so in early 2014 I dusted off my business plan and went to the bank.

What is your favorite part of the job?

Being able to bring my kids to work and being able to sew and create new things everyday. I am constantly looking at patterns to see what I can make next. My grandmother recently gifted me her serger, so my excitement for creating and sewing is only growing!

What are some ways you relax and find time for yourself?

I always feel relaxed when I am at the boutique. I am doing what I love and what’s not relaxing about that? For an extra treat, I love massages! If there is a holiday, birthday or anniversary, my husband knows to get me a gift certificate for a massage. So relaxing!

What makes Dandylions different from similar stores?

Our unique products and the amount of locally made items we sell. We have six local designers and they all make something different. I also try to get my customers exactly what they are looking for. If it is something I can make then I will make it.

I have my sewing machine set up in the back, and that’s where I am if no one is in the store. I also send custom orders to the local designers all the time.

What brands does Dandylions carry? What local designers do you feature?

We carry a wide variety of brands – Sweet Petunia, Decaf Plush and Owls & Bats are my favorites. Our local designers include Little Uptown Girls, Austin Designs, LilyK Designs, Little Avocados and Sweet Jolee Things. I also make and sell my own products. Our local products are by far the most popular. It’s great to see the excitement in the eyes of the designers and customers. Everyone loves to buy local, and we love supporting it.

What advice do you have for other moms starting a business?

Plan smart and do what you love. You can do it!

“She believed she could, so she did.” – R.S. Grey

www.fromournestmag.com

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Shop online or in-store today!

GRIFFITH

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FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 11

F E AT U R E

The holiday season is upon us, which means it’s time to get in the gift-giving spirit.

Sharing the

By Kandice Matteson

GIFT-GIVING SPIRIT Getting children involved in the season For parents, it’s important to instill such a spirit early in childhood. And sometimes, that can be difficult to do.

SHARING THE SPIRIT

Susanne Henderson, licensed psychologist and director of Burrell Autism Center and Children’s Day Treatment at Burrell Behavioral Health in Springfield, offers some tips on how to get kids of all ages involved in spreading holiday cheer during the season and year round.

“It’s important for parents to lead by example,” she says. “Show children that giving makes you feel good.”

That means using words and expressing to your children that it feels to give, saying phrases like: “Did you see how excited (blank) was when they opened the gift from you? That makes me happy to see them so happy.” or “The people that are going to receive the (charitable donation) are going to appreciate it so much; that makes me feel good to give back.”

This is especially important for small 12 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

children who may not completely grasp that holidays (birthdays included) aren’t all about what they receive but also about what they can give.

One way to get children of all ages excited about giving gifts is to get them involved in the process, Henderson says.

“Make the gift personal. If you’re buying a gift for grandma, ask children what they think Grandma likes and why—make the gift about and for Grandma,” she says.

Then, children can make or buy a gift that Grandma, or whoever the gift recipient may be, will treasure.

Nicole Nichols, elementary director at North Point Church in Springfield, agrees that getting children involved is integral in showing them the reason for the season.

“The first important step in training kids to appreciate the reason for the season would be to teach them what it’s all about.

We can’t assume that everyone knows about the story of Jesus,” Nichols says.

After sharing the story of Jesus as the reason for the season, Nichols says it’s important to show children how the spirit remains today through service.

“I believe that serving is the hinge that opens the heart to worship,” she says. “A great way to remind kids the importance of Christmas is to create an opportunity for them to serve others.”

Children can get involved by helping others that are less fortunate: volunteering with the family to serve a holiday meal to those in need or “find a family who may be less fortunate and bless them with a Christmas dinner or even some gifts.”

“Reminding kids the importance of putting others before themselves” can help demonstrate the reason for the season, Nichols says.

“It’s more about time spent with your children and your family than the gifts received.”

— Susan Henderson, licensed psychologist and director of Burrell Autism Center and Children’s Day Treatment

www.fromournestmag.com

“After all, from the moment Jesus was born, He was all about serving others,” she adds. “Giving kids the opportunity to serve others at a young age will help them to remember the reason for the season.”

Periunvgian Din

PREPARING FOR PARTIES

To discourage tantrums, attitudes or feelings of dissatisfaction, Henderson says it’s important to set expectations appropriately, and then let children know what they are.

“Prepare beforehand so children aren’t caught off guard when they don’t get all the gifts,” Henderson says. “Talking to them on the way to a party or a relative’s house for a gift exchange and letting them know what is going to happen and how you expect them to behave is important.”

Explain how you expect them to behave when it’s time to share the spotlight and gifts as well as what the consequences will be if the expectations aren’t met, she says.

Henderson says it’s important for parents to also have realistic expectations for themselves when they look at the space under the tree.

Often times, children are happy when parents will watch a favorite movie with them, or just spend a special day together.

“It’s more about time spent with your children and your family than the gifts received,” she says, emphasizing that while parents are often more concerned about quantity of gifts, children are just as happy, and often more satisfied, with quality time with family members.

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While we can’t give our children the world, we can let them know they are the world to us by spending time, not necessarily money, on them.

The best memories can also be the least expensive.

www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 13

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With From Our Nest’s commitment to connecting parents of all kinds to local resources, we bring to you a special section dedicated to managing winter blues and hard times to help warm your heart while it’s cold outside.

16

Finding Help to Heal Local groups offer support through the grieving process

19

DIY Happy Memories Catcher Reminders of the good times to overcome the bad

FINDING SUPPORT

through

HARD TIMES www.fromthenestmag.com

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FROM THE NEST | Winter 2014 | 15

F E AT U R E

FINDING

HELP

TO HEAL

By Kandice Matteson

Local groups offer support through the grieving process

Facing the death of a loved one is, perhaps, the single most difficult event we must experience, and regardless of how recent or long ago it was, feelings of grief are often aroused during the holiday season.

As a parent, explaining the death of a loved one to children can compound the intense feelings of loss.

“Talking about death can be uncomfortable for families,” says Nannette Thomas, program and resource coordinator for Lost & Found Grief Center in Springfield. “It is important that parents are honest with their child when talking about the death of a loved one, in an age appropriate manner.”

Keith Wilson, MS, LPC, NCC at the Robert J. Murney Clinic in Springfield, says children react according to their current physical and emotional development.

“While very young children may not fully understand death, they do understand loss,” he says.

It’s important for parents to “follow the child’s lead and use teachable moments to help their child understand loss: news, pet loss, someone moving away, etc.”

Wilson says euphemisms, such as “passed away”, “put the dog to sleep” or “they went on a long journey” may be more confusing to children than using concrete words, like died and dead.

“When parents are open and honest about the loss, children will feel more se-

16 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

cure,” he says. “Discussing death and loss with children will not be a one-time conversation: Children ask more questions as they grow and develop their own understanding, and they often re-grieve as they reach new developmental stages.”

Wilson adds that being honest with children is key.

“When adults talk about their emotions, they create a positive model for how their children should follow and cope,” he says.

“Remember, it’s okay if adults don’t have all the answers. It’s okay to tell your child, ‘I don’t know.’” www.fromournestmag.com

GRIEVING SIGNS IN CHILDREN Irritability Changes in eating habits, sleeping habits and/or bathroom habits Signs of regression (engaging in behavior they had outgrown) Being afraid to go to sleep, or go to daycare while demanding extra attention from their parents Source: Keith Wilson, MS, LPC, NCC Robert J. Murney Clinic in Springfield

You’re Not Alone Often times, many can find solitude in knowing they are not alone in their grief, especially around the holidays, and there are local resources and groups available to help.

“The holidays can be very difficult for those of us who have lost a baby–especially for Christian families, because it’s a holiday centered around the birth of a baby,” says Heather Fann, director of the southwest Missouri chapter of M.E.N.D., a Christian nonprofit corporation that serves those who have lost a child to miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death.

“Many times, our families and friends don’t recognize that it might be impossible for us to participate in the ‘normal’ holiday activities,” she adds.

“Take your time, and do not do anything you do not want to do,” says Alliena Kyger, co-founder of the Miracle Wings Founwww.fromournestmag.com

dation, a local organization that brings together resources for families experiencing stillbirth and early infant loss before they leave the hospital.

“If you want to stay home, then do,” she says. “You need to do what is right for you and your grief. Be gentle on yourself this holiday.”

Both Fann and Kyger say that many families want to remember and commemorate a lost child, especially during the holiday season, and that’s okay.

“At M.E.N.D., we offer our bereaved families the opportunity to recognize their babies during the holidays with a Christmas Candlelight Ceremony,” Fann says.

“Our hope is that once they can pause and honor their babies, then they can go on and function as best as possible in other traditions.”

M.E.N.D. offers additional recognition ceremonies during the year, where family members and subsequent children/siblings are also invited to attend.

“These events are often eye-opening to extended family in seeing that their loved one is not alone in how they are grieving their baby, and that, in fact, many families choose to honor their babies rather than forget them,” Fann says.

Fann and Kyger both offer suggestions on how to honor a lost child during the holiday season: hang a special stocking or ornament; purchase gifts for a child the age their baby would be and donate them to a local toy drive; light a candle; visit their grave; and/or release a balloon.

Kyger points out that, “It is important to remember that mothers and fathers are not the only ones who lost a child. That child was also a grandbaby, niece/nephew, cousin, sibling, etc.”

Children expecting to be siblings often have many questions, and Fann explains that M.E.N.D. can help in providing anecdotal advice by sharing experiences and information through monthly meetings (1st Thursday of every month at Project HOPE, 1419 S. Enterprise, Springfield at 7 p.m.), a bi-monthly newsletter, website and recognition ceremonies.

“At our meetings, we have many resources for explaining the loss of a baby to brothers or sisters who were expecting a baby to come home,” Fann says. “We also suggest that parents allow their children to

see them grieve in healthy ways to give them the freedom to do the same.”

Fann also points out that while children will have questions, their grieving process is different from adults’ processes.

“Often times, we underestimate the ability of children to understand death,” she says. “Kids are very literal. You tell them the baby died and that it’s now in heaven, and they respond with: ‘Cool (brother) is with Jesus,’ and then ask for dessert.”

For families seeking support for themselves and their children after experiencing the death of a parent or sibling, Lost & Found was founded my local philanthropists to avoid troubles that may arise from unresolved grief.

With support groups for adults, teens and children, Lost & Found Grief Center provides grief support services, free of charge.

“When families come to the Conor House, they have the opportunity to see where their groups will meet, and ask any questions they might have,” Thomas says. “Our goal is for each child to feel completely comfortable once they enter groups.

“During the orientation, we try to address any concerns or questions that a parent or caregiver might have to help put their mind at ease,” she says.

Each group meets for 90 minutes in the evening twice a month.

“Too many times we are told to ‘move on’ or ‘get over it,’” Kyger says. “Great sadness is the price we pay for the greater love we have for children, whether they were lost at 4 weeks gestation or 40 years of life.

“We never stop loving our children, even in death.”

GET TIPS

ON OFFERING SUPPORT AND

FIND SUPPORT ON THE NEXT PAGE

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 17

TIPS

FOR THOSE THAT CARE

AND WANT TO OFFER SUPPORT

“People should absolutely avoid ‘I know what you’re feeling,’ because even those of us who have lost babies grieve differently.

Most of the time people speak to parents with the best of intentions, but typically the more people talk the more their comments are wrong.

It is always hurtful for someone to tell a grieving mother or father, ‘You’re so young; you’ll have more,’ ‘Oh, it was just a miscarriage, 1 in 4 happen,’ ‘God must have needed your baby in heaven,’ ‘God must have known it would have a lot of health problems if it lived.”

We always recommend families name their babies, especially in early losses as it gives them and their support members something more tangible to grieve. Those around us should use our babies’ names whenever possible. They need to be willing to ask us how we’re doing and be okay with us bursting into tears. They need to be willing to ask again another day and listen when we talk to them about adjusting to our ‘new normal.’

The best thing to do to help a grieving parent is to simply show up. Most people quit calling or talking about the loss with the parent after a couple weeks. But this loss is for a lifetime. Show up and say, ‘I have no idea how you are feeling and you might not even know what you need, but know that I love you, I’m so sorry for your loss and when you do know what you need, I want to be able to give it to you.’”

Source: Heather Fann, M.E.N.D. southwest Missouri director

Looking for Support?

LOST & FOUND Lost & Found Grief Center works with the bereaved to provide education and support as they travel their journey of grief to find peace, hope, and a new normal as they face life without their deceased loved one. In order to get enrolled in a group at Lost & Found individuals need to contact the Lost & Found office. After getting initial information, we will schedule an orientation and place a family in group.

Website: www.lostandfoundozarks.com Phone: (417) 865-9998 Email: info@lostandfoundozarks.com Address: 1006 N. Cedarbrook Ave., Springfield

M.E.N.D. M.E.N.D. is a ministry for parents and family members who have suffered the death of a baby. The organization’s once-a-month meetings provide a place of comfort, healing and support for those who have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss.

Website: www.mend.org www.facebook.com/groups/MEND.SWMO Phone: (417) 818-0489 Email: heather@mend.org Address: Meetings are held at Project HOPE, 1419 S. Enterprise, Springfield at 7 p.m.

MIRACLE WINGS FOUNDATION The foundation focuses on supporting families facing miscarriage, stillbirth and early infant loss by providing resource pamphlets to hospitals that then distribute them to families in need so that they can leave the hospital with tools to help begin their journey to healing. The foundation is also anticipating to extend its services to assist with funeral costs and planning for those in the Springfield, Missouri area.

Website: miraclewingsfoundation.org Phone: (417) 576-5471 Email: miraclewingsfoundation@gmail.com

THE MURNEY CLINIC The Murney Clinic hosts several private practice providers that can help children and parents work through and understand grief. Several of the providers also specialize in play and art therapies. The Murney Clinic is also able to offer the community counseling in problems areas such as grief, depression, and anxiety through our community service practice. These counseling services are offered by students, interns, and their practicing supervisors at a reduced, sliding scale cost.

Website: www.murneyclinic.org Phone: (417) 893-7990 Address: 1322 S. Campbell Ave., Springfield

18 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

www.fromournestmag.com

CATCHER

P I N S P I R ATI O N

HAPPY MEMORIES

By Kandice Matteson

Reminders of the good times to overcome the bad It can be difficult to see the sun through the rain. Capture some of the brighter moments to be the light in your dark days throughout the year. Whether it’s a funny comment or a sweet gesture your child made, a romantic token from your significant other, a meaningful quote that you want to remember, a moment of reflection on a great day, or a keepsake from a memorable event, keep these positive memories within reach with a memories catcher so you can keep coming back to them when you need them most.

Materials • • • • •

Wide Mouth Mason Jar with lid 300 Popsicle Sticks Black Felt Tip Pen Ribbon (100 yards) Embellishments

$10.00 for 12 $4.80 Total cost*: $20.25 $1.46 $3.99 * This leaves an additional 11 Mason jars and doesn’t Varies

account for jar embellishments.

Directions 1. Use the Mason jar, or a similar container, as the memory catcher.

Decorate it as you wish, with a creative, embellished label or a simple Post-It note.

2. Tie the ribbon around the jar to serve as a pen and blank Popsicle stick holder.

3. Write your memories with a black felt tip pen (other pens won’t work as well, if at all) on the Popsicle stick as they arise.

4. If a memorable quote or event takes more than one Popsicle stick, tie multiple together with ribbon or a twist-tie.

5. Read your memories at the end of the month, end of the year or when your jar is full–smile and enjoy!

More DIY Happy Jars

Visit our website to get links for these other do-it-yourself happy jars.

FOLLOW US ON PINTEREST For this and other ideas we like, check out our favorite boards at pinterest.com/fromournestmag www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 19

THE DISH ON WARMING

HEARTS

Brought to you by Stephanie Lindberg

Skinny!

Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe by Gimme Some Oven View the original recipe at www.gimmesomeoven.com

The winter weather is upon us, bringing with it the dreaded cold and flu season. In the middle of thinking about what new recipe I would share this issue, I caught a cold. Quite the coincidence, right? With a sore throat and stuffy nose, all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and eat some warm, homemade chicken noodle soup. I immediately went to my favorite “go-to” recipe that I stumbled upon last winter on Pinterest. Little to say, this recipe has been a keeper in my book ever since. I hope this recipe warms you and your family as much as it has mine!

PREP: 5 mins

COOK: 30 mins

TOTAL: 35 mins

Follow us on Pinterest For more recipes and projects we like, check out our favorite boards at www.pinterest.com/fromournestmag

Skinny! Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup INGREDIENTS

DIRECTIONS

1 1 2 2 2 1⁄3 8 3 2 1 1 ½ ½� ¼

• • • • • • • • • •

tbs olive oil small white onion, diced carrots, peeled and diced* celery stalks, diced* cloves garlic, minced cup flour cups chicken broth* cups cooked shredded chicken cups uncooked egg noodles or pasta (12 oz) can evaporated skim milk tsp salt tsp ground black pepper tsp dried oregano tsp dried thyme

(optional garnish) chopped fresh parsley

20 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

Heat olive oil over medium-high heat in a large stockpot or Dutch oven.

Saute onion, carrots, and celery for 7 minutes.

Add garlic and cook for an additional minute.

Sprinkle flour over vegetables, cook and stir for another minute.

Gradually stir in broth and bring to boil.

Reduce heat and simmer, partially covered, for 10 to 15 minutes.

Add remaining ingredients, and stir to combine.

Cook for 10 minutes or until noodles are al dente.

Season with additional salt and pepper or seasonings if needed.

Serve warm, garnished with fresh parsley (if desired). * I love my veggies, so I like to include an extra carrot and celery stalk.

And if you don’t have chicken broth, you can also use eight cups of water with eight chicken bouillon cubes. – Stephanie Lindberg

www.fromournestmag.com

By Shayne Brock

C O L U M N | FROM THE COUNSELOR’S OFFICE

TIPS ON OVERCOMING STRESS “The stronger the wind, the stronger the tree.”

This is one of my favorite quotes. Grief comes in many forms and doesn’t just occur following the death of a loved one. I have been a daughter in grief, a wife in grief, and a mother raising kids in grief. I know it is not easy.

Maybe you are grieving another kind of loss: a romantic relationship, a friendship, a job, a house. Or maybe there’s a completely different kind of stressor in your life. Whatever you’re struggling with, here are some tips to help.

1

Acknowledge and feel your feelings.

Ignoring your emotions is like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. You may think about and replay events, but you’re not letting yourself feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger. Set a time limit to feel your emotions every day.

Even 15 minutes can help to process your emotions.

2

Talk about it.

Talking about your troubles helps you better understand your own fears and get valuable feedback from others who may have experienced similar distress and can give you the perspective you need.

3

Try to see past the hardship.

When you’re in the middle of a stressful situation, it’s hard to see any positives. With some distance, you may be able to see the situation in a different light. Some lost jobs lead to better jobs, some broken relationships lead to better relationships, and some panic leads to getting the help you need. www.fromournestmag.com

4

Prioritize self-care.

Self-care is absolutely necessary to survive tough situations. You can always find time to take care of yourself. If you can’t prepare a nutritious meal, keep healthy snacks in your bag.

If you can’t go to the gym for an hour, take a 10- to 15-minute walk around the block. Remember that a stressful situation isn’t a sprint; sometimes it may be more of a marathon. You need to take the necessary time to rest to reboot your mind and body.

5

Practice acceptance.

Let go of that which you cannot control. To start, make a list of everything you don’t have control over. These are the things you can stop worrying about.

6

Ask for help.

You might assume that you can and should handle this difficult time on your own. Many people do. We need to relinquish control, ask for help, and receive it with grace. When asking for help, you may need to be direct. Let others know what you need, such as support and compassion.

7

Limit time with toxic people.

These are individuals who are not supportive or reliable and don’t have your best interest at heart. They don’t listen to you, and might even be critical, judgmental or demanding. After being with them, you feel drained and depleted. In other words, they make you feel worse.

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 21

8

Observe the situation as an outsider.

Take several deep breaths, and focus on your intuition. You are very likely to derive some useful thoughts you would not have come upon within the midst of your anxious state.

9

Remember that everyone heals differently.

This is your journey and your feelings. Tough times can feel incredibly overwhelming and exhausting. Hardships are opportunities for growth and learning. They deepen our understandings of ourselves, others, and the world around us. There are hidden blessings that come with virtually every hardship, such as strength, wisdom, empathy or openness to a deeper spiritual/personal awareness.

Resources: * The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook / Edition 6 by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman & Matthew McKay * Stress Management and Prevention: Applications to Daily Life, 1st Edition by Kottler/Chen * www.mentalhealthscreening.org

SHAYNE BROCK, LPC is a Professional School Counselor in the Nixa School District.

She has been in the education and counseling field for 16 years.

BEFORE

Spotting grief in children can sometimes be tricky. Watch for other forms of acting out, discipline problems at school, sleep and/ or attitude changes, change of friends and physical complaints are just a few things to be aware of. When symptoms persist for more than a couple of weeks, or if there is more than one, it is time to take action. Talk to your family doctor and get help. Be sure to touch base with your child’s school to share information, as well.

Best of all, to make sure you are protecting your children, talk to your kids on an ongoing basis so that you know what is normal for your kids and what is not.

When you put in the work to overcome your difficult experiences, you can heal. When we choose to do it together, our families can become even better in the end.

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By Becky Cave, RN, MSN, FNP-C, IBCLC

C O L U M N | BREASTFEEDING SUPPORT

A First Line of

DEFENSE FOR BABY

There are news reports and images from around the world of unsettling events including public health emergencies, conflict, natural disasters and weatherrelated events. These emergencies often occur when we least expect it, or when we’re not prepared. Disasters are described as an event that causes injury, loss of life and/or property, severe damage, and can be devastating to everyone impacted. No matter where we live the possibility of an emergency exists.

Pregnant women, young children and infants can be among the most vulnerable groups during these times. Often times, there are problems obtaining and transporting food and clean water.

What’s more, it might be difficult to get in to see a doctor or obtain medical care.

Nearly all the infant and child casualties during emergencies are a direct result of contaminated water and an unsanitary environment.

Breastfeeding your baby is a great way to be prepared!

Mother’s milk contains antibodies that help fight infection.

Your milk is clean, and requires no electricity, fuel or water, all of which may be in short supply should disaster strike.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Increasing the current rate of breastfeeding in the United States is fundamental to optimize infant nutrition, especially when disaster strikes.”

The AAP adds that mother’s milk is the safest, most reliable food source for infants during situations that may be confusing and chaotic. Mother’s milk is readily available, is already the right temperature and can provide protection against infectious disease.

Remember: In an emergency, there may not be clean drinking water, and it may be impossible to properly clean or sterilize feeding utensils, bottles or nipples.

BREASTFED BABIES

have a strong immune system from mom and are equipped for a range of emergencies.

If your power is out and you’re a mother that needs to use an electric pump, check and see if your pump can use a battery pack or if it can be converted to a manual breast pump. Or, learn how to hand express your milk. If the power goes out and you have pumped milk in the freezer (that feels like an emergency, too), here is how to protect your milk: • If available, use a generator to keep your freezer going.

• Check with a neighbor who still has power; ask if they could store your milk temporarily.

• Try not to open the freezer door, or as little as possible so your milk will stay frozen longer. The USDA says that a full freezer will hold the temperature for about 48 hours, a halffull freezer for about 24 hours.

• Pack your milk in a cooler that is as full as possible. Crumple newspaper and place on top and around your milk to provide extra insulation.

• Extra air space in your cooler or freezer can be packed with dry ice or snow, if available.

Best advice is to not wait until an emergency to learn the importance of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be the first line of defense during difficult times.

BECKY CAVE is a registered nurse, certified family nurse practitioner, and a long-time lactation consultant in the NICU at Mercy. She also serves on the Board of Directors for the Greater Ozarks Regional Breastfeeding Coalition, which is dedicated to promoting, supporting and protecting breastfeeding in our community through education, outreach and advocacy.

Visit the Greater Ozarks Regional Breastfeeding Coalition online at health.springfieldmo.gov.

www.fromournestmag.com

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 23

NONPROFIT

By Kandice Matteson

Chloe - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (Feb-June 2014) Photo Credit: Dorinda Peyton Photography

On Angels’ Wings seeks to capture joyful and rare moments a family shares amid a crisis. Offering free professional photographs to families facing the risk of child loss, On Angels’ Wings also connects families to community resources by partnering with local organizations and support groups.

ON ANGELS’ WINGS

417.834.3670

www.FlyFreeLittleOne.org LEADERSHIP FOUNDER & PRESIDENT  Michelle L. Cramer VICE PRESIDENT  Tora Thompson TREASURER  Jackie Lawhon SECRETARY  Julie Hulsebus RECIPIENT LIAISON  Michelle Slavens HOSPITAL LIAISON  Bridgette Burnside EVENT COORDINATOR  Katz Strausser

24 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

Why was your organization started?

I saw a need. Several years ago I took photographs for an organization that provided pictures for families that suffered the loss of an infant at birth. While that was indeed a worthy cause (and a service we provide) if felt like there were just too many families facing the risk of losing their child that needed to have pictures, too.

The primary focus of On Angels’ Wings is providing professional photographs capturing the joyful moments a family shares in the midst of crisis — losing a child —whether that be during childbirth, or losing a child to a genetic disorder (such as SMA, Trisomy 18, etc.), child cancer, etc.

But the reach goes beyond providing photographs (though capturing those memories will be priceless—and an honor). We are also partnered with organizations like M.E.N.D., local churches, area counselors, etc. to provide continued care and support for families suffering such an incredible loss. We also help with organizations like the Logan Ruth SMA Foundation to help spread the word about the conditions that threaten the lives of the precious children we encounter.

But, most of all, I want God to use OAW to show these families that he loves them so very much. That he’s holding them. That his plans are so much bigger than we could ever comprehend (Jeremiah 29:11—my personal motto), even in the midst of such immense pain. That these children go through what they do because the impact of their experience on the world around them is far greater than any of us could hope to achieve living for 70+ years.

Whom does your organization serve?

We provide free professional photographs for families facing child loss from maternity to 18 years of age.

What services do you provide?

Please see our services page on the website: http://flyfreelittleone. org/about-us/services

www.fromournestmag.com

How does someone obtain services?

They simply need to contact us. In an emergency situation at the hospital, they need to let their nurse know that they want one of our photographers there. We have a working relationship with both Springfield hospitals, and they let families know of our service as the need arises. But that requires every staff member to know about us, and that can’t always happen. So it’s important for families facing this situation to let the staff know they want us there and they will contact us to make that happen.

In non-emergency situations, recipient families contact us and we partner them up with one of our photographers who will work to schedule a session that will suit everyone’s schedule and the child’s needs.

None of our recipients need to fill out an application or anything to obtain services (though everyone must fill out a release prior to each session). However, recipients wanting maternity pictures must verify the prediagnosed condition of the child (a phone call from their genetics specialist, a letter from the doctor, etc) to obtain services.

Brooklyn - In Remission from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Photo Credit: Studio IV T Photography / Tora Thompson

Do you accept volunteers?

We do. Folks interested in volunteering to help with fundraisers and events simply need to submit a volunteer application.

Photographers who wish to work with us must do the same. Both require references and full board approval. In regard to photographers, we have strict guidelines in place when it comes to the skills required because of the variety of lighting conditions and settings our sessions require.

More information is available here: http:// flyfreelittleone.org/volunteer

What kind of donations do you need/accept?

Donations are accepted via Paypal (donation buttons are available at the bottom of our homepage) or via check. We received our 501(c)3 status in early October, which will allow us to apply for grants to help support our efforts, but we are still heavily reliant on monetary donations.

Is this a local chapter of a larger organization? If so, when did this chapter begin?

OAW is headquartered in Springfield, Mo. We officially registered as a non-profit in July 2013.

www.fromournestmag.com

Araya - Trisomy 18 (Just celebrated her 1st birthday).

Photo Credit: Studio IV T Photography / Tora Thompson

Lexi - Battling Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia Photo Credit: Eternal Image Photography / Michelle Cramer

For more information on how to obtain On Angels’ Wings services or how to donate, visit them online at:

www.FlyFreeLittleOne.org

FROM OUR NEST | Winter 2014 | 25

C O L U M N | MRS. WHITE HEARTS ART

By Jessica White

RADIAL DESIGN

SNOWFLAKES These snowflake designs integrate the math principal of radial symmetry with art skills such as printmaking and painting!

Learn about radial symmetry:

Radial symmetry is when an object has symmetry (is the same) around a central axis. When you rotate an object with radial symmetry, it looks the same all the way around. Can you think of some things from nature that have radial symmetry? (starfish, types of flowers, the inside of an orange or other fruits and vegetables, snowflakes) What about some things that are man-made? (wheels, tires, gears)

Adaptions:

• Use pattern blocks or things around your home to create radial designs.

• Look through a kaleidoscope at radial designs.

ART PROJECT

AGES: 3 and up OBJECTIVE: Radial Design, Symmetry, Printmaking

Instructions

1. Start with your smallest piece of square construction paper and glue it in the center of a medium size square in a different color.

2. Glue the medium square in the center of a large square of a different color.

3. Create your snowflake! Real snowflakes have 6 sides, but in art not everything is realistic. Some of the snowflakes we created have 8 sides; that is OK, because they are still symmetrical.

Dip the edge of a cardboard scrap into white paint. Press the edge of the cardboard down the center of the smallest square of paper. Repeat while crossing your center line to make a snowflake shape.

4. Add lines to your snowflake by using a paintbrush. You can use diagonal or horizontal lines on each side of your snowflake. You can even use a circular stamp (cork, marker lid, etc.) to add a circle on each side of the snowflake. Just make sure you add the same lines or circles on each side to keep it symmetrical.

5. Use blue and/or sky blue to add lines and designs onto the borders you created with the medium and large squares.

Find more art projects to enjoy with your little ones on our website at www.FromOurNestMag.com.

26 | Winter 2014 | FROM OUR NEST

What you need: 1 3 different colors of construction paper in 3 different square sizes 2 Tempera or Acrylic Paint in white, blue, sky blue 3

Paintbrush

4

Cardboard scraps

5

Circular objects, such as corks or marker caps

Jessica White

K–5 art teacher for the Republic School District. For more art project ideas, visit her blog at www.mrswhite-hearts-art. blogspot.com.

www.fromournestmag.com

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