Front Row Monthly | September 2011

September2011

THE

FASHION ISSUE JONANO F’N KHAOS

ARTIST

of the

INDUSTRY

F/W MUST-HAVES

Sep tem ber 2011

PLUS

Former

“Dash Doll”

TALKS www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

1

2

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

TABLE OF CONTENTS ON THE COVER 10 13 28 32 37

Jacqui Gnazzo Dirt and Diamonds The Jennifer Lilya Interview Faith-n-Khaos Jonano

FASHION 21 23 24 48

Saving the Garment District Battle of the Brands Faux or No? Men: Modern Casual

TRAVEL 57 Sex, Drugs & Asado 65 THE DOMESTIC DANDY: P-Town Bound

COLUMNS 35 Save the Drama 35 I Don’t Mean to Be Rude, But...

66 IN THIS CORNER Rednecks

pg. 37 Sep tem ber 2011

67

TRAIN WRECKED

Adam’s Deal Breakers

69 Take One Down

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Gina Hussar MANAGING DIRECTOR Edwin Shaw PRODUCTION MANAGER Isabella LaQuatra OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Kim Kessler GRAPHIC DESIGN Kim Kessler, Rob Soltis and Kasia Mano SENIOR FASHION EDITOR Nicole Myers BEAUTY EDITOR Bethany Montecalvo ACCESSORIES EDITOR Keri Bozich SENIOR MARKET EDITORS Charissa Livingston and Shaylee Capatolla ASSOCIATE EDITOR, FASHION Elisa Llera ASSOCIATE EDITOR Shaylee Capatolla FEATURED WRITERS Matt Caruso, Adam Hornyak, Jeffrey Clouser, Bess Green, Ashley Abraham, Aaron Valentic, Shaylee Capatolla, Charissa Livingston, Rob Soltis, Allison O’Connor, Cortny Booth WEST COAST CORRESPONDENTS LOS ANGELES Gina Tomassone SEATTLE Leigh Morrow Calhoun DENVER Sarah Ewalt MIAMI Marie Colom WASHINGTON D.C. Jeffrey Clouser NEW YORK CITY Julienne Shaw INTERNATIONAL LONDON Sara Antes Rigg NEW ZEALAND Rahat Chaudry PHOTOGRAPHERS Edwin Shaw, Randy Smith, Nicole Mueller, Keith Bloom, Danny Landoni, Megan Gardner, Christina Shields CONTRIBUTORS Candace Orlandi, Cindy Hines, Jackie Capatolla, Ashley Genova, Megan Gardner, Christine Wertman-Stickle, Daniel Hussar

COVER Photo by Megan Gardner Modeled by Melody Joy Headpiece by Faith Pongracz, Faith and Khaos Front Row Monthly www.frontrowmonthly.com frontrowmonthly@gmail.com 412.585.1445

Editor’s Picks! elle.com

1

3

CHUNKY KNITS Sweaters have made a come-back this Fall! Especially when paired with a flowy skirt. You will have no problem staying warm because this season, the knit is extra chunky, almost poncho-like. Don’t think of the 80’s sweater that your mom wore to your 5th birthday, think more open knit-big needle and refined. Chunky knits are your friend.

2

lookbookdaily.com

Senior Fashion Editor Nicole Myers on Three Top Fall/Winter Trends

LACE

Lanvin, Bottega Veneta, Marc Jacobs, Rodarte, Chanel. Image from coultercurated.com

Usually iconic for its feminine and delicate essence, this Fall, lace brings on a hotter feel.

But the timelessness remains. Each piece illuminates a feeling reminiscent of a time when lace making was an ancient trade. A time when gold and silver were braided into the thread, creating a luminous and intricate fabric made for royalty. We are seeing dark and powerful applique overlays and sweeping hemlines. It’s a fresh, sexy take on lace that works for everyone.

RUST

What better way to transition out of the corrosion of summer than with this Fall- friendly hue.

This shade is synonymous with the crisp Autumn season and is more complimentary to your skin tone than last years camel craze. Other Jewel tones, like deep greens are reds, also fall into this trend.

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

5

ADVICE

ADAM SAYS:

FRM takes on your trickiest dilemmas. (Notice we didn’t say that we solve them. In fact, we may make it worse.) A few words of wisdom from two polar opposite pools of thought.

Dear FRM, I have two friends who are planning on getting married to each other soon. They decided to have a combined bachelor/ bachelorette party, and I was told that there will be a “surprise”. After talking to my friend, I am gathering that the surprise may be a female stripper performing for the crowd. I don’t feel at all comfortable with my husband and I going to the party if we are going to be put in that position, but I also don’t want my friends to think that I’m being judgmental.

What should I do?

Dear Reader, Get over it. Obviously, you don’t understand how strippers (as you so callously call them) fit into life’s food chain. Strippers are the lifeline of innocence, creativity, and art. Nobody should ever have a hang-up with the beautiful abilities of what a person can do with a ping pong ball. You should go enjoy the party and witness the many different ways that quarters can be picked up off the ground, or the unique places that a person can do shots of tequila off of a woman’s body. At the very least, you could probably get some ideas for the bedroom by watching the lovely young lady contort her body into positions that scientists have deemed impossible. If this is really a problem, just tell your friends that you’re sick, but please, please, please let your husband go and enjoy himself for a change.

So, when and where is this party?

www.amog.com

Take it or Leave it

SHAYLEE SAYS:

Dear Reader, First of all, forget everything that you just read from Adam. That is my first piece of advice. Now, if strippers make you uncomfortable and you suspect that one will be there, I would suggest that you attend the party, but leave the room if a stripper does in fact make an appearance! Strippers aren’t for everyone. And that’s ok! I wouldn’t miss out on the rest of the night, though.

If you do happen to catch a peak at some naked bods swinging and dancing in the ways Adam speaks of, try not to be offended. Like it or not, it’s a pretty widely accepted tradition and its all fun and games I suppose. And hey--there is always the option of closing your eyes! ◆

GET THE TREND:

pleated maxi skirts Free People “Wrapped up in pleats” maxi $168 6

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

See Through Summer Will Stick Through Fall

by Nicole Myers

This year we saw a trend arise based on a fusion of sheer fabric and the maxi dress, creating a hybrid that well, we can see right through. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the sheer maxi. For most, the question of “what to wear underneath?” pops into mind. The answer on the runways is definitely not one fit for the modest. If you don’t feel comfortable showing it all, opt for a semi sheer or layered look. Adding that volume will create an opaque shield, masking the unmentionables that you would prefer not to display. A light, solid mini skirt can also add another entire dimension to the look. Classic and airy, we predict this trend sticking.

Pretty In Pink Nothing is sweeter than a little pink in the Cheeks. The natural blush you get when the hot guy on the subway looks at you?

You can recreate that at home.

Try Obsessed Minerals Lipstick in Bridesmaid 2. (Geez, even the NAME of it is sweet). Pair that with Obsessed Minerals American Beauty shadow and you’ll look freshly flushed, like you’ve just had a killer workout (and we didnt say “at the gym” ;).

BEAUTY BASICS: Take advantage of what’s left of your summer glow with beautiful shades of Pink, Coral and Fire Engine red!

Photography by Edwin Shaw Modeled by Samantha Meier and Jess Porter Make-up by Bethany Montecalvo

Cute in Coral So the pools are closing but you aren’t quite ready to give up that tan? Fake a little sun with Obsessed Minerals lipstick in Nudity, Obsessed Minerals shadow in Enigmatic and a little extra bronzer, like this sunkissed shade from Eco Bella.

Indian Summer Nights A great look to transition you to fall. A light smokey eye and some “bad-girl” lips. We like Obsessed minerals shadow in Black Widow and lipstick in azalea. http://www.mineralobsessed.com/ http://www.eccobella.com/?source=google

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

7

FASHION

TRANSITIONING TO FALL:

GO BOLD, OR

GO HOME!

by Charissa Livingston

U

rban and edgy best describes the styles we saw on the runways for fall. Leather, wool, artificial fur, delicate knits, tweed, and opaque tights are just a few sets of yarns and fabrics that will sell this season. We are going crafty, mixing and matching bold patterns and prints as summer smoothly transitions to fall! This past spring and summer, the 1960’s and 1970’s ruled the racks and they’ll continue to make an impact for fall with their hip florals and brights in every color of the rainbow. Marc Jacobs and Diane Von Furstenburg also introduced the lively trend of head to toe polka dots on the runway. If polka dots from head to toe are a bit extreme for your taste, try a simple polka dot scarf to accent an outfit. (I guess I must have missed the memo on this new trend because I have been wearing polka dots since 2005. Ahead of the game or fashionista fail?) You might also want to start raiding granny’s closet, because plaids and tartans have made their entrance. This year the runway was packed full of plaid patterns and tartan styled tops. Should we give our thanks to the Celine Pre-Fall collection or William Wallace, hmm? If you’re finding yourself a bit tempted to jump on board the tartan bandwagon a little early, try your local vintage boutiques!

Fall fashion colors speak for themselves this year and highlight neon and

8

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

deep teals. Designers have paid close attention to contrast and texture, and created an intriguing blend and balance of color. We have cropped, flared, high-wasted and tapered neon bottoms and even pant suits for the fashion-friendly working girl. Midnight blues, silvers, and shades of grey give textured stitching equilibrium, charm and a modern take on romance.

Bamboo yellow brought an exotic flair to the catwalk. It’s a standout hue with subtle green undertones and compliments almost every complexion. But if you’re looking to positively glow, do it with hues of mustard!

If you ever wanted to feel like a super hero or a dominatrix, this is your season.

Capes are everywhere and we can’t ignore the bit of naughty showing up with leather, lace and sexy cut-outs.

Easiest way to transition to the next season? Start adding one Fall/Winter Trend at a time and a few FRM musthaves. That maxi dress you loved this summer? Hot with a cropped leather jacket. The white bo-ho peasant top? Perfect with pants and a headband. Try your easy breezy striped dress with a heavier, braided belt. And my favorite? The works with anything, anytime boyfriend blazer.

It’s that easy! See you at the mall. ◆

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

9

jacqui gnazzo 10

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Photography by Keith Bloom Styled by Elisa Llera and Shaylee Capatolla Make up by Bethany Montecalvo, http://www.bethanymontecalvo. com/ Hair by Jacqueline’s Salon, http://www.jacquelinesnews.com/ All clothing and accessories from Mozaic, www.mozaicboutique.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

“I don’t do bitch work.” It was the statement heard ‘round the world and also the statement that got Jacqui Gnazzo fired from Dash and consequently booted from Season 2 of Kourtney and Kloe Take Miami.

The Former “Dash Doll” sits down with FRM’s Shaylee Capatolla to dish about her future and what the Kardashian’s are really like! From one hot Italian girl to another….

So, Jacqui, I read on your website that you are an Italian girl just like me! My first question is for all of the gentlemen out there! I’m sure they want to know… can you actually cook Italian Cuisine, or are you just a hot Italian girl proudly owning up to her heritage?

Believe it or not I would like to consider myself a phenomenal cook. My specialty dish is my homemade egg plant parma but I can make a mean sauce and some killer meatballs. Every summer I go down to my cousins’ house and jar my own tomatoes or make my own sausage. I love to cook and I have so much fun doing it, especially with my family.

I also read that you are an Equestrian Show Jumper and have even fox hunted!

How did you get your start with show jumping? And fox hunting! Whaaat!?

Do you fox hunt in stilettos? (laughs) It is rather unusual that I fox hunt. I have been riding horses since the age of four and my father was big into fox hunting. He has fox hunted all over the Sep tem ber 2011

world, including in England with Prince Charles. I have been dedicated to Show Jumping my whole life, it is pretty much second nature to me. DASH doesn’t sell too many heels unfortunately, but I have gone to the barn to take care of my horse in a hot pair of Diors before.

I noticed from your Twitter (follow this girl @JacqGnaz for some comic relief!) that you have an awesome sense of hu-

mor, which we actually got to see on the show! Would you say that you are generally the fun one in the group?

Yes, not to toot my own horn but fun is my middle name. I am pretty much drama-free and I am always down to have a good time. When ‘the group’ isn’t having fun, I’m there to make sure they do.

Tell us, before you scored just about every 20-something’s dream job as a www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

11

EXCLUSIVE He never came to Miami or had the privilege of meeting someone like ME. Just kidding. Unfortunately no, I did not get the chance to meet Rob. Sorry ladies.

We ALL want to know the truth about Scott Disick! For those of you who may not be aware, Scott is Kourtney Kardashian’s long time boyfriend and father of her cute-as-a-button baby, Mason. Is he really as much of a jerkoff as everyone thinks? Or is it all a just a “tough guy” act for the cameras?

Scott Disick is known to be a villian and a total ‘jerkoff,’ but I thought he was hilarious. I think he is naturally that way, but over the years it has gone to a higher level. He plays into the character. He and I got along pretty well, and I thoroughly enjoyed his dark, and sometimes outrageous, sense of humor.

Even though you may have been fired from DASH Miami

by Khloe Kardashian, you managed to hug it out in the end!

What was (or is) your relationship like with the Kardashian sisters, and the other DASH dolls to date? Do you still keep in touch with the girls?

Unfortunately, I don’t keep in touch with any of the sisters. With their schedules, and mine, it is too complicated. I’m sure if I saw them out and about in LA, we would have a nice time playing catch-up. I do keep in touch with the other DASH dolls every once in a while. I still have love for all of them, and we all shared such a memorable experience together. The whole experience was so unique, it’s natural to bond over that.

DASH Doll on the E! hit series Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami: Season 2, where did you work? And when was it that you decided you “don’t do bitch work?” ;) Fortunately, I decided at an early age in life that I don’t want to do bitch work. I strongly stand by my beliefs. I only like to do bitch work if it is for my family or for myself. Other than that, it is clearly not my favorite thing. DASH was my very first job out of college.

So many of us dream to have the chance to meet the Kardashian’s! You were actually employed by them! What was it like working with the Kardashian sisters? Are they just as gorgeous in person? How often would you say they were present at the store?

Working with the Kardashian sisters was an amazing experience; I got along with all of them so well. Even when Khloe fired me, we hugged it out, and it was all good. They are all so gorgeous in person and very normal, they are just like us. During the duration of working there, the girls were there quite a lot; more than I expected. They are just like any other business owners. They are extremely hands-on, and know how important it is to control the DASH brand.

This one is for the ladies! Two words, ROB KARDASHIAN. Were you lucky enough to meet this hottie? If so, what is he like?

12

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

When watching reality T.V., I can’t help but wonder what it is like behind the scenes! Was it easy to be followed by cameras non-stop? What was it like watching yourself on national television? Do you have any regrets?

Initially, it was very nerve racking and slightly awkward. After a few days though, you kind of forget about them. During the season, every Sunday, I would have slight anxiety about what they caught me doing while on camera. Being filmed 9+ hours a day, you don’t remember what you said or things you did, so it was very interesting hearing what was going to come out of my mouth next. I would say the only regret I have was asking Kloe how ‘big’ Lamar was. Only because I knew my family was watching. I had to duck my head after seeing that one air.

And, finally. Tell us about Jacqui Gnazzo! Here at FRM we know that you are way more than “the girl who was fired from DASH!” What have you been up to since your turn on the show came to an end? What can we expect from you in the future?

Well, I recently moved to LA to pursue a career as a TV personality. I’ve been working on setting up a path that will lead me to have my own talk show one day. It’s been an interesting ride so far; running around LA, seeing where each meeting takes me.

Ideally, I would love to have a Chelsea Handler style show, with a touch of Howard Stern, and a twist of Oprah. I love the sarcastic sense of humor Chelsea has, the truck driver mouth on Stern’s show, but I also admire Oprah for her love and devotion to the world.

We have a feeling you’ll get what you want in the end. And we’ll be over for dinner tomorrow. Thanks Jacqui! ◆ Se pte mb e r 2011

DIRT AND DIAMONDS Youth, Fashion, Freedom, Romance

Modeled by Alexis Katsafanas

Sep tem ber 2011

and April Gildea Photography by angie candell Hair and Makeup by ashley genova

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

13

by Charissa Livingston “Dirt & Diamonds is about youth, fashion, freedom and romance. Dirt & Diamonds is about us. We’re about staying up late and sleeping in later. We’re about road trips, dancing til the sun comes up, rendezvous and first kisses. We’re about living life to the fullest and being stylish as hell while we do it. Dirt & Diamonds is for the movers and shakers, the lovers and dreamers, the free spirits, the night owls, and the rock stars -or just those in spirit.”

-Kelli Meyer In the Summer of 2011, Kelli Meyer launched her online boutique, Dirt & Diamonds, featuring a coveted new knitwear line and an exclusive collection of trendsetting, in-the-moment vintage. Front Row Monthly caught up with the emerging designer for a day at the park and a sneak peek of her fabulously wearable line. Kelli talks to FRM about her experiences with her new line and her passion for fashion.

14

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

What made you decide to launch your own fashion line?

I created Dirt and Diamonds because I was tired of dressing the same as everyone else. Ever since I was little, I’ve been extremely creative and would find myself sketching ideas or modifying my clothing in some way. Starting my own line just made sense.

When did you begin to actually design?

I started making my own clothes as a hobby in 2009 and then turned that hobby into a business in 2011.

What inspires you?

Dirt and Diamonds is inspired by a mix of styles. I like to think that it’s a little boho, a bit of grunge, a mix of vintage and super feminine. In addition, I’m very inspired by beautiful fabrics, such as silks and delicate laces, feminine cuts and designs from the 60’s and 70’s. Street style blogs are also a huge inspirationsometimes real people’s style is more inspirational than the latest fashion editorial. And last but not least, the Dirt & Diamonds blog of course.

We love the blog! In addition to offering a boatload of style inspiration, the blog is always filled with inspirational quotes and thoughts of the day. What are a few of your favorite quotes?

“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different” -Coco Chanel

“I’M VERY INSPIRED BY BEAUTIFUL FABRICS, SUCH AS SILKS AND DELICATE LACES, FEMININE CUTS AND DESIGNS FROM THE 60’S AND 70’S.”

“Risk more than others think is safe.

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

15

“I CREATED DIRT AND DIAMONDS BECAUSE I WAS TIRED OF DRESSING THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE.”

16

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

“I WOULD LIKE TO MOVE INTO ECO-FRIENDLY FABRICS. I THINK IT’S A VERY IMPORTANT DIRECTION FOR THE COMPANY TO MOVE TOWARDS.”

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

17

Care more than others think is wise.

Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.”

“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

What are your future plans for Dirt & Diamonds? Do you intend to keep it as an online boutique?

I really want to be a well known label and branch into more of a lifestyle brand- possibly expanding into accessories but staying within our niche. I will always have an online presence but would ideally like to open boutiques in the major fashion cities (and Pittsburgh of course). I would also like to move into eco-friendly fabrics. I’m looking at a few different suppliers right now. I think it’s a very important direction for the company to move towards.

Whether you’re sophisticated, laid-back, or simply looking for a new look, Dirt & Diamonds has plenty to offer. With hints of boho, a dash of vintage and a whisper of punk, D&D has something for every day and every mood. Follow Kelli and her Dirt & Diamonds blog at http://dirtndiamonds.blogspot.com/.

Also check out the exclusive online shopping experience at http://dirtdiamonds.com.

18

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

“Dirt & Diamonds is for the movers and shakers, the lovers and dreamers, the free spirits, the night owls, and the rock stars -or just those in spirit.�

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

19

20

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Saving the Garment District: One Stitch at a Time

SPOTLIGHT

by Charissa Livingston

N

ew York City- the epicenter of high fashion. Yet, over the last few years New Yorkers have followed the plight of the Garment District, one of the most important ties to the fashion industry, as it faces the threat of extinction.

Many organizations such as the Fashion Center BID (Fashion Center Business Improvement District) and the Design Trust for Public Space have worked tirelessly to preserve the manufacturing center’s role in the city’s enterprise.

Fashion Center BID is a non-profit organization working to sustain and improve the vibrancy of Manhattan’s Fashion District. It promotes the area as a strategic business location for fashion.

So much of the day to day activity of the

but in other key player cities in global fashion such as Milan, Paris, and Los Angeles. Charles Bagli of the New York Times wrote “Some city officials and industry leaders worry that if manufacturing is wiped out, many of the designers who bring so much luster to New York will leave, along with the city’s claim to be a fashion capital rivaling Paris and Milan.

The damage would be undeniable, given that the industry’s two big annual events — Fashion Week in September and February — attract enormous numbers of visitors and generate hundreds of millions of dollars in economic activity.”

The districts’ survival is dependent not only on fashion-focused organizations, but public support, dedicated designers, and a new breed of shoppers. Twice a year I gather a few hundred dollars, pack up my girlfriends and hit the streets of New York for some serious shopping.

However, shopping in New York is having its share of economic battles due to the downfall of the Garment District. Cheaper overseas labor and production has dramatically affected the industry. This change has forced many designers who once manufactured their lines in the heart of New York to shift production overseas. Apparel manufacturing in the U.S. dropped from 95% of the world’s stock to 5%.

Consider yourself a socially conscious shopper? Begin to support the Garment District by first shopping for domestically produced items. Edit your closets a bit.

Take stock and know where your pieces are coming from. Pride yourselves on local fashion production. In many ways, the consumer sets the bar.

But it’s not just about convincing shoppers to only purchase Americanmade clothing that will boost production

“Aspiring American designers need the local factories and suppliers in order for them to start their businesses and realize their dreams.” bustling fashion world has been taken for granted. People simply do not realize how entirely crucial the Garment District is to NYC retaining its fashion capital status.

The Garment District has been known since the early 20th century as fashion’s center for all manufacturing and

design. It turns out products for fashion interests based not only in New York City, Sep tem ber 2011

in the U.S. We have to make New York City a realistic and cost-effective option for designers.

The Olsen twins, and many other activists, have committed to a long-term effort to save the Garment District’s factories. The Olsen’s chose to produce their fashion line, The Row, in factories in New York City and, conveniently, Los Angeles.

Ashley Olsen told News Week, “I really believe in our being able to create here and utilize the skills that people have here.

The skill set is here. Our main issue is that some of the machinery is gone, so some knitwear is produced in Italy. But whether its clothing or cars, I believe in manufacturing as close to home as possible.”

Designer Nanette Lapore has been one of the more vocal advocates, even penning an editorial to the New York Times about her hopes for a fair and feasible solution. After 100 years of operating for NY based designers, the Garment District factories are being threatened by landlords seeking to secure higher paying tenants.

“The Garment District is vital to the survival of American Fashion,” says continued on page 66 www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

21

TREND WATCH

New Zealand!

The Bold and The Beautiful

by Rahat Chaudry

W Top: Pops of pink. It’s fresh, modern and screams individuality. Need I say more? (http://streetandcityphotos. blogspot.com/).

Bottom: Image One Caption: Love, love, love the satin yellow shorts – and with a peek of a yellow bra under the lace top…my, oh my! (http://www.thread. co.nz/news/5958/51/I-Can-See-ARainbow/d,thread-article)

hen my (kiwi) husband asked me to move from the fashion-forward streets of New York City to the sheep-ridden pastures of New Zealand, I was mortified. Who there will appreciate my brand new Miu Miu denim blue wallet with the pop of hot pink on the inside? Do people there even wear shoes other than Wellies (and why do they call them gumboots?!)? And do they even have an Anthropologie? My mind was racing.

So. Here we are. It’s been about one month and I’m now beginning to settle in and bust my way into the New Zealand fashion scene…hey, it’s the New Yorker in me! And with New Zealand’s Fashion Week just one month away I have a lot to look forward to.

In the meantime, I’ve been scanning the scene for some noteworthy kiwi styles... and the votes are in. Color wins. Everywhere I look, I see a rainbow of awesomeness that even NYC could learn from.

Top: Gorgeous purple Company of Strangers bag (http://www.companyofstrangers. co.nz/collections/3miseryloves/leather3miserylovescompany.html).

Bottom: Bold color blocking and garden inspired prints from NZ’s own moochi. (www.moochi.co.nz)

Where Art Blends With Fashion

Boutique

22

Bridgeville, Bridgeville, PA PA •• 412.319.7483 412.319.7483 www.mozaicboutique.com www.mozaicboutique.com | FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

L It’s a Man’s World: UK Designer Ben Sherman

by Charissa Livingston

Sep tem ber 2011

egendary designer Ben Sherman was born and raised in England. In 1946 he gave his heart to California. It was there that he would marry his third wife and begin to adopt the American ways, work for his father-in-law, and develop his skills as a designer.

The Ben Sherman original logo was inspired by the status symbol of the scooter-riding Mod Revivalists. Sherman’s brand differentiated itself by using higher quality materials and detail-oriented stitching.

The fashion conscious of London quickly caught the bug for Sherman’s Oxford-cloth American button-down shirts when he moved back across the pond in 1963. The UK market was hungry for a little American style and Sherman’s business instantly took off. The initial small factory of just 10 employees rapidly grew to a line that included women’s wear, children’s wear, shoes, and accessories and the brand expanded widely into the global market. That preppy-polo country club style? You can thank Ben Sherman for that.

Ben diversified his product line so effectively that as of 2011, the clothes are available in 35 countries worldwide. His brand, boasting a style of “effortless cool” is targeted to an upper class audience, and was frequently worn by The Beatles, The Troggs, Incubus, Bare Naked Ladies, Rolling Stones, The Who and The Kinks.

Sherman remained loyal to his company until 1975 when he sold the business and moved to Australia. Since his death in 1987, his fashion legacy lives on, not only in the UK, but the world. The label remains a powerhouse in fashion worldwide. While rumors of a decline expounded when the company dropped the Women’s Wear line a couple of years ago, the brand shows no sign of slowing down and just last year opened a new store on the infamous Savile Row. Ben Sherman offers a classic line with a modern feel—truly a “must-have” for men.

Images from www.bensherman.com

BATTLE OF THE BRANDS

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

23

FASHION

Faux or No? War of the Counterfeit Worlds

by Bess Green

L

ouis Vuitton monogram handbags, Burberry check scarves, and quilted Chanel totes share a common thread that runs deeper than the metaphorical stitching. Aside from being designer signature pieces and closet staples for the label-obsessed shopper, these accessories are among those which have garnered infamy for being mass-replicated by counterfeiters.

Counterfeit clothing and luxuryinspired knockoffs are a heated source of conflict for the fashion community.

Designers watch – and often file lawsuits – as poorly-constructed replicas of their trademark products are sold by street vendors and unauthorized online distributors at a fraction of the real price. Meanwhile, shoppers who are unwilling to pay full price for designer items purchase the replicas as a less expensive alternative.

In this particular fashion war, many are quick to board the anti-counterfeit train, and their criticism of the knockoff market is not unfounded. With the surge of counterfeit trade has come a surge of activism against this illegal activity. In 2005, Harper’s Bazaar launched “Fakes are Never in Fashion”: a campaign devoted to exposing the social and economic atrocities associated with the production of fake designer luxury goods. According to the International Anti Counterfeiting Coalition, fake trade costs U.S. businesses up to $250 billion in lost revenue each year, and counterfeiting is also responsible for the loss of over 750,000 American jobs as a result of intellectual property theft.

Moreover, the production of fake luxury goods is associated with child labor, organized crime, and human trafficking. The New York Times acknowledges China as the world’s largest producer of

24

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

fake goods, where counterfeiters operate in the outskirts of the country to evade government regulation. There, counterfeiters purchase the real items and allegedly exploit child workers to disassemble the products, make patterns of the pieces, and produce near-perfect replicas of the originals. By producing fake handbags, shoes, and fragrances that appeal to consumers’ current tastes, counterfeiters can successfully sell their fakes worldwide to shoppers searching for a bargain.

In addition to the social argument against counterfeiting, legitimate fashion producers would arguably claim that the

Fake trade costs U.S. businesses up to $250 billion in lost revenue each year, and counterfeiting is also responsible for the loss of over 750,000 American jobs

counterfeiting of their trademarked products not only affects their brand financially, but it also adversely affects the brand’s reputation. For instance, the widespread distribution of knockoff Chanel-inspired bags would make the original Chanel bag appear more commonplace and ordinary, thus detracting from its true value as a luxury item.

Nevertheless, is it possible that counterfeiting and intellectual property theft could actually be advantageous to luxury

brands? Some economists are arguing yes, and it might even be in designers’ best interests to accept a certain level of counterfeiting. In some cases, the existence of knockoffs give fashion houses the opportunity to charge a higher price for brandloyal consumers who wish to differentiate themselves from the counterfeit-purchasing bargain shoppers. Additionally, the distribution of designer knockoffs is essentially a form of advertising for real designer products. In theory, this would be advantageous to the fashion houses because it would ultimately result in higher revenues.

Regardless of the potential (and questionable) benefits to counterfeiting, it appears as though the fashion industry is only continuing to progress in its war against fakes. In 2008, a French court ordered eBay to pay Louis Vuitton $63 million in damages for allowing counterfeit Vuitton goods to be sold on the website.

Because the internet is one of the most popular arenas for counterfeit activity, this ruling established the growing intolerance for marketed designer-imposter goods.

As publications such as Harper’s Bazaar continue to promote the importance of purchasing legitimate luxury items, the war against counterfeiters remains in full force. Regardless of whether or not fakes are economically beneficial for fashion designers, the response from the fashion community suggests that imitation might not truly be the sincerest form of flattery. ◆ Left image: Harper’s Bazaar campaign, Fakes Are Never In Fashion. http://fakesareneverinfashion.com/summits11. asp.

Right image: FullIssue.com http://www.fullissue.com/index. php/how-to-spot-fake-dooney-and-bourke-handbags.html

Se pte mb e r 2011

Accessories EDITOR’S PICKS! Gloves Editor Keri Lots of snakeskin Bozich On and in colors!

What’s Hot Hats! Take the for Fall Fedora to Winter!

In every style and fashion. – fingerless, textured, scrunched & laced. The more pairs you can accessorize with, the better.

Photo from womenstalk.com

Look for snakeskin pumps, boots, and clutches! Example from BCBG MAX AZRIA, “Snakeskin Evening Clutch” On sale for $46.40 at zappos.com

Try the classic Fedora in a wool or felt fabric. Also try a larger brimmed, floppy fedora.

Classic example from Athleta , “Wool Fedora” $35.99 athelta.gap.com

Animal themed jewelry Animals on a ring, hanging as a medallion on a chain, and various other unique methods to turning our cuddly friends into statement jewelry pieces. Examples: KIST Boutique Owling Ring and Owling Earrings both available in Black or Ivory $20, $18 respectively. KISTboutique/facebook.com

We saw this last year, but it’s back! Statement Jewelry

Boots (as always) in various lengths Lots of snakeskin, lace up, and definitely with socks! Example from Dior, photo from Harpar’s Bazaar

Men’s shoe on a heel Take classic men’s style shoes but glam them up for the ladies. Look for loafers, loafers with tassels, or oxfords -on a heel, platform or lace up bootie!

Examples from Tory Burch, “Arelia Tassel Pump” $395 toryburch. com, and Fergie, “Gatsby” $119.99 fergieshoes.com

Pouches A new accessory. A variation on the clutch – which is also still popular for Fall.

Advantage: you can fit more inside, and there’s a nice handle! Examples: Proenza Schouler, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel. Photos from Harpar’s Bazaar.

The bolder and the larger, the better.

However, make sure to only wear one piece at a time! One piece of statement jewelry will probably fill your jewelry quota for your outfit. Example from Kenneth Cole New York Necklace “Snake Chain Necklace,” $135 macys.com Statement necklace AND snakeskin! Love!

Long earrings If you opt for this accessory choice, skimp on some other jewelry. Balance yourself by simply wearing a ring or watch with the long earrings. Example from Betsy Johnson, “Double Feather Earrings,” $40 macys.com

Fur trim We’ve seen it on coats (obviously) and sweaters. Now we’ll see more of it there, and additionally – on purses and shoes!

Example from Victoria Secret, Colin Stuart “Faux Fur Trim Bootie” $129 victoriassecret.com

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

25

Take your clothes off!

GET WET! S

ummer is coming to an end and you have yet to do anything thrilling enough to set your social media friends up in arms. Sure you’ve gone to some water parks and took a weekendcation to the beach, but come on, is it really different from any other year? It’s time to get bold and dive into activities that will shock and awe your friends and family.

End this summer with a bang, leave the monotony of the work week and the city behind and get your ass into nature!

Lose the tie; take off your pants and shirts- who needs them? Strip down to your spandex or bikini and get your skin wet! No accessory is better in the hot summer months than sleek, wet, fresh out of the water skin. Ditch the movie scene thought bubble; I’m not talking about

26

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

by Ashley Abraham renting a place and dipping into a hotel pool decked out with built in waterfalls.

White Water Rivers are the new “it” spots for getting wet and wild in the scorching summer heat. Rafting, kayaking, and sunbathing on rocks (for those of you a little weary about paddling class III-V rivers) are some of the most underrated sporting activities that are tons of fun and great exercise.

Picture this, you’re surrounded by the beauty of nature, you’ve got the smell of fresh mountain air in your lungs, you feel like a total badass in your life jacket and helmet. You’re about to embark on a journey that’s going to charge you through raging rapids and your only protection is an inflatable raft and a plastic paddle. It’s an adrenaline rush like you’ve never ex-

perienced before and a full body workout.

Using your leg muscles to firmly place your feet and your arm muscles to dig the paddle into the water, you push forward through the surge of water coming your way.

Unlike normal sports where you’re competing against an opponent, the only competition in rafting and kayaking is the water. Your challenger has an advantageyou’re in its element, nature. This is where the water resides, it’s one with rocks and the wildlife in it and you’re stepping into unfamiliar territory. Patrick McCarty, coowner of Laurel Highlands River Tours based out of Ohiopyle State Park Pennsylvania talks about the challenges of the water. “No matter how many times you’ve paddled, no matter how good you know Se pte mb e r 2011

the route of the river, every kayak or raft trip can be different,” says McCarty. “Those who have ran the river hundreds of times still find days where conditions are tricky and five minutes into the trip, they know it’s going to be extra wet that day.”

Scared? Take your skirt off! Nature is a beautiful thing and white water is unlike any beach or lake you’ve been to. It’s an amazing sight to see. There are many options for those faint of heart or nervous about battling one on one with white water rapids. Do your research and find out which companies offer guided tours down the rivers. Guided tours take you down the river route with a full arsenal of river guides and safety boaters ready to help you if anything goes awry.

You can choose to have a guide in your raft, helping to paddle and steer. Or, get your friends together and paddle with a group and other guides. If you’re feeling extra ballsy, rent a raft and equipment from a company (or bring your own if you’ve really taken an interest) and rally yourself and some friends to brave it alone.

The feeling of navigating a river with just you and 3 of your friends is so Bear Grylls-esque, outdoors badass! Your friends and family will hardly believe that you got into the water and fought past the rapids. End your summer in a wet and wild way and do something totally unexpected, so out of your comfort zone that you’ll surprise even yourself. Take a few hours away from monitoring Sports Center and the end of the NFL lockout and become one with nature. If anything, know you’ll be getting a killer workout and a serious end-of-summer tan. ◆

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

27

EXCLUSIVE

The Jennifer Lilya Interview

by Leigh Morrow Calhoun

28

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

ennifer Lilya’s keen sense of fashion, coupled with effortless brush strokes, creates a whimsical end product that entices even the most prudent shopper in today’s economy. Her fashion illustrations are a breath of fresh air that allows the buyer to muse over accessories and clothes with reckless abandon. Residing in Brooklyn, New York with her husband, Jennifer possesses a down-toearth practical business mind with a quirky sense of humor that is hard to find amongst high-brow fashion industry insiders. She is a modern-day traditionalist, using only paint, brushes and ink to create her work by hand, and then employing a laptop with a scanner

J

You say that your technique is “Traditional fashion illustration, but with a modern edge & witty hand-lettering.” Can you explain more of what you meant by traditional versus modern?

Traditional for me means done by hand, not on computer. I grew up loving the classic work of Rene Gruau, Antonio Lopez, Tony Viramontes – all masters of brilliant line & color and that love has stayed with me forever. The art of brush to paper makes me insanely happy, so I find no need to work digitally (other than scanning my work for online galleries & clients). While I work traditionally, my girls are obviously modern,

to send the finished product to her clients.

Jennifer’s energetic illustrations accompanied by her tongue-in-cheek quotes breathe life into prints and patterns for top industry leaders such as Elle Magazine, WWD, Prada, Blumarine, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Ralph Lauren, Miu Miu, Tommy Hilfiger, and more! Jennifer Lilya is the fashion artist for today’s designers. Graciously, Jennifer indulged me with an interview that speaks volumes about her love of life, art, and wit.

Ladies and Gents, I give you: The artist Jennifer Lilya!

trendy & cool. I also love adding little witty sayings or song lyrics to help round out the story of the girls, the situation, or the garment.

Your illustrated collection of, ‘Rock the Runway,’ is off the hook with your use of color, movement, and featured designers.

What inspired you to do this?

Thanks! I’ve always loved the movement of models on the runway- they’re all fierce & perfectly in their element- it’s so much fun to illustrate the girls & garments in that way.

Se pte mb e r 2011

Also, your “Girls Girls Girls” collection makes me think of what inspires you every day. As you walk down the street, do you find yourself editing or painting total strangers in your mind’s eye?

Totally! I find myself unconsciously outlining the shapes of faces & outfits of people I see. I tend to do that a lot on the train or at shows or bars where there are really interesting people to look at.

How far ahead of the seasons do you paint? Are you ever surprised by what your designers/clients are putting out for the new season?

When I work with trend companies, it’s usually about a year & a half out. A few months ago I finished up a project for Fall 2012. Otherwise it’s usually a few months out, depending on the project or publication date. I’m not sure I’m ever surprised by what designers put out- but I’m always intrigued & inspired by figuring out what to paint next!

Are you a firm believer of thumbnail sketches or do you carry a camera with you to document inspirations?

Actually neither. I’ll do rough sketches (in paint) for a client if need be- working out a layout, or a look that needs to be on trend or styled a certain way- then they’re helpful. Otherwise, I’ll be inspired by something, keep that feeling going and just start painting away when I’m back in my studio. The most I’ll do is map out the general feeling of the pose or garment in a really light wash of burnt sienna, then I’ll go in with detail. To me, fashion illustration should be light, fun, full of energy…I think too much planning takes away the spontaneity of what I want to achieve.

While viewing your paintings, the sequins seem to shimmer and the leather is so lush and real. How did you develop your craft of texture?

I went to FIT & took great classes with really amazing professors. I learned some techniques through them & then from my own experimentation. It’s hard to explain “how” to do something- usually it’s just by trial & error in regards to brush size, the texture of the paper, the thickness of the paint. I’ll just paint until I reach the desired texture I want. And then if it doesn’t work, I’ll scrap it & start from scratch!

Sep tem ber 2011

Your color pallet is incredible, do you create them or are they indicative of the clients/designers’ color scheme for the season?

Thanks! My color palette is all me, regardless of what’s happening each season. I’ve found a delicious rainbow of paint colors I love & that mix well together to create basically any shade I need. I get stupidly excited when I start my fresh palette each week- I even take photos of it & post it to my facebook fan page. That’s how much I love it.

Who inspired you to become the person you are today?

Well, being a teen in the 80s, I was super inspired by the art & fashion of that time- really vibrant, colorful creative images that stuck in my head. I mentioned Antonio Lopez- his work is just out of this world. I was also inspired by the whimsical fashion illustrations of Andy Warhol & the pop sensibility of Keith Haring & JeanMichel Basquiat.

On a personal level, my grandma taught me to be kind, grateful & accepting. She was awesome. I think my family & friends would say she taught me well.

It’s interesting to be really open & easy to work with for my clients- they don’t always expect a high level of professionalism combined with such a happy-golucky attitude. I think it loosens them up, & allows me to get better insight into what they need from me for the project.

While you were growing up, were your parents supportive in your talent? Do you have a fond memory of creating something at a young age that you’ll cherish forever?

Yes. I’m not exactly sure they thought an art degree was the best thing out there overall, but it was by far the best thing for me. They sent me to FIT & I think they’d say it was definitely worth it at this point. I can’t thank them enough for that!

Luckily for me, my mom saved so much of my early work, so I have great classic sketches of Boy George, Madonna, Prince & my earliest fashion illustrations, before I even knew I could make a career of it. I’ve been sharing some of them in my “Vintage Lilya” series on my facebook fan page. I also have this incredibly cheesy wood-burned unicorn cutting board that

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

29

EXCLUSIVE

I made in shop class in 1984 that I adore.

And then I have a perfectly terrible sculpture of a stegosaurus from elementary school that I’m particularly fond of.

Sometimes projects can pile up with the same deadlines and sense of urgency.

Do you have a support system to help you relieve the stress?

Tell me about it! Usually when it rains, it pours & all my clients need something at the same time. I’ll work around the clock for days on end, but I know that I can always chill with my husband on the weekends, or grab a drink with my Wednesday night trivia team & awesome friends and unwind & talk about my work. I’ve definitely built up a good social outlet since I work by myself 99% of the time & I’d go stir-crazy if I didn’t have the great friends & family I do. When I find myself talking to my Chihuahua a little too much, that’s when I know I need to get out of my studio for a break!

a designer sends me clothes to sketch, or really good photo reference to work from.

Occasionally I’ll go to showrooms to take photo reference of certain garments, but that’s rare these days since most clients will send me what I need through email.

Have you ever designed work that was controversial or provocative? If so, for whom?

From an illustration standpoint, no- my work tends to be light, happy & pretty.

It’s not deep or thought-provoking. It’s just feel-good beautiful stuff that inspires me- I like to think that I make the world a prettier place through fashion illustration. Other artists can do controversy or provocation way better than I ever couldit would be forced & unnatural coming from me.

On the other hand, I’ve been surprised by the reaction that some people have to two huge collage murals I did for a bar in Brooklyn- Pine Box Rock Shop.

“It’s just feel-good beautiful stuff that inspires me- I like to think that I make the world a prettier place through fashion illustration.

Other artists can do controversy or provocation way better than I ever could-it would be forced & unnatural coming from me.”

Who was your very first paying client?

Also which client was it that made you think that you’d made it to the bigleagues?

I don’t remember the very first one- I worked for so many tiny fashion companies when I was right out of school… but I do remember thinking I had made it after freelancing for Ralph Lauren, doing illustrations for presentation boards.

It was a well-paying gig at that time & I thought it was pretty great to have that on my resume.

The illustrations that include designer/ client names, do they invite you to attend their shows or do they send you their line beforehand so you can paint in your studio?

I go to shows, but I never sketch when I’m there- it’s all about watching the theatrical awesomeness of the runway. I’m the type of person that prefers to paint in my studio before the crack of dawn, with nobody around, so I definitely prefer when

30

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

(You can see it in the Collage-a-Rama section on my website) They took months of work to complete & they’re filled with all sorts of graphic goodies from bands, artists, cool textures, lettering…and lots & lots of old pinups & snippets of 70s porn (in what I think is a creative, fun way to use it). Some women haven’t been happy with it- they think it’s male-designed objectification of women…and then they’re totally surprised when they find out it was created by a woman. I think the female form is gorgeous & should be celebrated.

I can’t help it if somebody is offended by that, but it’s certainly not my intention.

Have you ever wanted to edit a design that a client has given you to paint?

Have you ever edited for the sake of your finished piece? If so, how did the client react?

I think clients come to me because I can interpret their garments in a fun, fresh way…so yes, I definitely edit designs & accessories down to only the necessary deSe pte mb e r 2011

tails. If a client needs to see all the details of a garment, then they’re probably better off hiring a much more detailed illustrator or a photographer. I’m the person that can highlight & capture the essence of a look with some loose lines & color and my clients are usually very happy with that.

Do you listen to music while creating?

What genre or a specific song gets you motivated?

YES! I’m very specific in what I listen to while I work. I usually start my day between 4-5am, and I listen to Sirius XMU for new indie rock. Then I’ll listen to Howard Stern from 6-10am for my daily dose of humor & news (he gets a bad rap, but he’s a fantastic interviewer & a huge proponent of free speech). Then it’s back to music- it’s always upbeat, fun & energetic, and perfect to paint to- Billy Idol, Prince, Blondie, Kate Bush, Le Tigre, Guns n Roses, Velvet Underground. I also make painting mixes that last all day so I never have to mess with my iPod if I’m in the middle of a project. I can’t listen to anything slow or depressing while I work.

Can you give the readers of Front Row Monthly a sneak peek or hint of what’s to come or what’s hot for the fall/winter season?

Some winners that stuck out for me were a lot of mod looks- simple lines & bold colors. That’s always fun & youthful. Polka dots that were cute to cool to chic. Red is huge- and always makes a statement. And lots of lace! Trends are good guidelines to follow, but I think it’s best when you put your own spin on what’s going on.

Some of our readers are already making lists of must-haves for next year, could you give us a sneak peak or hint for spring 2012?

It seems like sustainable & natural will continue to gain importance in fashion like it has in other areas. Drawing inspiration from the earth (for example- botanicals & seascapes) & other cultures is practically limitless and makes for some gorgeous palettes.

How many times a day do you tell yourself, “I must have this!” while painting a client’s collection? What are a few pieces that stick out in your mind today that you still feel the need to possess?

Sep tem ber 2011

Like every minute! I get to paint gorgeous clothes all day long…so of course I want most everything I’m inspired to paint… but I’m a total & complete sucker for shoes & accessories. I love the Chinoiserie fans from Louis Vuitton S/S 2011. The jeweled hairbands from Chanel Pre-Fall 2011 are killer- so detailed & pretty! The big stripy beach hats from S/S 2011 Prada are crazy fun and the oversized bags & animal print boots from Blumarine F/W 2010 are so totally sexy & delicious too.

If you could collaborate with anyone in the world, alive or dead, who would it be and why?

I would’ve loved to work with Basquiat. I have a total art fantasy of doing some huge fashion illustration & then he’d paint over half of it & write some thought-provoking words on top of that. It’d be a big colorful mess of awesome. A girl can dream. J And I would’ve killed to sketch Audrey Hepburn for “Funny Face”- she was so beautiful in all the costumes in that film!

Is there a designer out there that you would be honored to paint/illustrate for?

I’d love to work with Gwen Stefani. I love her poppy combination of music & fashion- she’s always herself no matter what she’s wearing or doing.

Is there anything else you would like to inform our readers about yourself or your work?

I just want to thank everyone that takes time out of their day to write to me- it makes me deliriously happy to know my art is affecting people in such a fun way & I totally appreciate that. And please be on the lookout for a new WebStore I’ll have on my blog to purchase original art & prints!

Awesome! And thank you for making us feel like the luckiest staff around. We were thrilled just to chat with you, but a Jennifer Lilya original, personalized just for us? Pinch me! It’s truly an honor. ◆ For all the latest on Jennifer Lilya, visit http://jenniferlilya.com/

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

31

FRM FEATURE

FAITH-NKHAOS

The Fall/Winter catwalks were a feast for the eyes, with bright colors, luxurious fabrics and the standout accessory of the season—the headpiece. Bored with fedora’s and looking to switch it up from statement rings, designers are turning out edgy, artistic head accessories that are sure to become a staple this season. And the one designer to watch? Faith-n-Khaos. F’n Khaos is a line of gigantic personality that marries the poetry of life, love, and art.

An alumni of Parsons School of Design, Faith Pongracz is the visionary behind the brand, merging her love of art, style and photography with a penchant for organized chaos. Want to stand out from the crowd? Get yourself a Faith-n-Khaos piece. Each original design is a wearable piece of art.

“The Faith-n-Khaos brand will likely expand,” says Pongracz “We’d like the line to include handbags, shoes and fine jewelry, while still keeping true to the core values—handcrafted, one-of-a-kind pieces with an edgy sophistication.”

Sold.

Se pte mb e r 2011

Credits: Model: Melody Joy Photographer: Megan Gardner Hair and Makeup: Megan Gardner Styling: Faith Pongracz faithnkhaos.etsy.com f_n_k@mac.com

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

33

Credits: Model: Melody Joy Photographer: Megan Gardner Hair and Makeup: Megan Gardner Styling: Faith Pongracz faithnkhaos.etsy.com f_n_k@mac.com

34

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

SAVE THE DRAMA!

You DO Have Something to Wear

by Shaylee Capatolla

I

f I had a quarter for every time I have heard someone say “I’m not going, I have nothing to wear!” well, I’d have a hell of a lot of quarters. Men and women tend to be equally guilty of making this nonsense statement (myself included). Don’t be silly, of course you have something to wear!

Look at yourself right now, are you naked? I’m willing to bet not unless you are home alone and just got out of the shower

I DON’T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT

YOU’RE NOT IN LOVE!

by Aaron Valentic

F

or many teenagers, the pursuit of love is a favorite distraction. They’re on the lookout, and when they find Mrs. or Mr. “Right Now”, they convince themselves that they’ve found “the one”. Until “the one” does something completely idiotic and ridiculous amounts of melodrama ensue. Thus the cycle begins againbut why? Why do teenagers feel as though they have to be in love at this stage in their lives?

I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re not in love. Your 16. It wasn’t all that long ago that you were watching the Disney Channel and playing with power rangers.

I know I know. It is puppy love and it’s a

Sep tem ber 2011

POINTS OF VIEW

(I know I can’t be the only one who does that). If you are viewing this column from a brand spankin’ new Mac Book Pro I am sure your budget allows for a wardrobe.

Let me tell you who has nothing to wear—the homeless person living under a bridge who walks around wearing shoes without soles. He has nothing to wear!

The family who lost all of their belongings in a tragic house fire, they have nothing to wear! Innocent children suffering from starvation in 3rd world countries, you guessed it—nothing to wear!

I’ll be completely honest, I totally feel the urge to go shopping for a new ensemble every time I have someplace to go (but then again, I suffer from being a shopaholic). But, what happens when one doesn’t have time to make that last minute trip to the mall? I’ll tell you what happens!

We throw a hissy fit, because we think we “have nothing to wear!” And what does that do? Causes stress and puts a damper on the fun of the outing! The event is ruined before we even get there! It’s like we turn into possessed little fashion monsters! I have seen closets turned upside down, clothes tossed 20+ yards, I have even seen an innocent bystander (my year

old Shih Tzu, Louie) knocked in the head by a flying stiletto. Totally unnecessary!

This is when we need to stop, remember those who are less fortunate, and be grateful to even have options.

Now, you are probably asking yourself, how can this problem be solved?

Well, once again I am here to save the day and SAVE THE DRAMA! Mix and match! Duh! There are so many ways to twist and turn a previously worn ensemble and make it like new again! I mean, hello!

Outfits cannot be repeated! (At least that’s what society leads us to believe). And God forbid if someone is seen in the same little black dress two Facebook albums in a row! You totally know your “stalkers” will have a field day with that one! Never make it that easy for the haters! ;) So let’s talk mixing and matching.

When you need to KEEP IT CASUAL...

Ladies, add a vest or a cute jacket over a previously worn tee and jeans. Ta da!

Brand new look! Throw a pair of killer heels in the mix and you are ready to go!

Gentlemen, you can totally do the same! Sport jackets look super hot over a fresh tee for the fall! Pair it with your facontinued on page 66

part of life. (Ugh, bored just saying it out loud.) But too often, a puppy-love crush turns into tears, social annihilation and some poorly timed baby bumps.

The media doesn’t help with this. Songs such as “Love Story” by Taylor Swift and “One Less Lonely Girl” by Justin Bieber (he was basically a toddler singing that song and looked ridiculous next to that girl) are just a few examples. I know some of them are fun to listen to and are great party songs, but what about “Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble (get it?!) or “Bad Romance” by my favorite, Lady Gaga.

And I’m sure most of you have heard about the marriage of Doug Hutchison and Courtney Strodden- she, a 16 year old “wanna be” actress/singer, and he, a 51 year old actor who has been in a handful of movies. This is insanity. She was on dating websites at 16, and finally met Doug in person 4 months into the relationship. With the blessing of her parents, who are clearly mentally unstable, she married Doug in the most fitting of venues-- a chapel in Vegas. It’s regret waiting to happen.

Also, shows such as “Secret Life of the American Teenager” and the infamous “Teen Mom” show what could happen if young people choose to become too serious too soon. But I’m not sure teenagers are quite “getting” the seriousness of these situations because they are too busy being jealous that the teen moms are on the cover of every magazine in the checkout line.

The moral of this article is not about teen pregnancy; it’s that you’re not in love with someone at 15. Period. It’s a crush. You’ll get over it. And the odds of your junior year crush becoming your spouse someday are about the same as your odds of seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in tasteful clothing. Slim.

If you’re under 25, relax in the love department. Focus on your studies, get into a good school, start your career, then maybe start looking for love. And if the right person doesn’t come along, there’s always fashion. I for one am in love with my Burberry bag. It’s always there, never forgets to call, doesn’t cry when I come home late and is the perfect companion wherever I go. A match made in heaven. ◆ www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

35

Be Inspired reinvent it

by Elisa Llera

Be Inspired reinvent it

Septemberfreezing in the morning, sweltering hot by 4. Raining one minute, hot and humid the next. Don’t you just love the transition months?

Take heart. Here’s a little inspiration to get you through those pesky weeks when mother nature is off her meds.

CLASSIC. SIMPLE. FRESH. COMFORT. Streetstyle photo from The Sartorialist ModCloth Sweater TopShop Playsuit Zara Shoes

Be Inspired

reinvent it

LAIDBACK. edgy. ECLECTIC. simplicity.

Streetstyle photo from The Satorialist Topshop Tunic & Jacket Forever 21 Socks & Ring ModCloth Shoes & Necklace

36

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

MONOCHROMATIC.

feminine. SUBDUED.

Streetstyle photo from Cupcakes and Cashmere Topshop Blouse ModCloth Skirt & Purse Steve Madden Shoes

Be Inspired

reinvent it

PREPPY. colorful. QUIRKY. fun.PLAYFUL. Streetstyle photo from Atlantic-Pacific American Eagle Top ModCloth Skirt & Shoes Bracelets from ModCloth & Forever 21

Se pte mb e r 2011

JONANO Eco-chic design house Jonano is making waves all over the world with their luxurious line of fashion that is both green and gorgeous. The latest collection is inspired by London and the effortless style of iconic supermodel Twiggy. It’s timeless. It’s classic. And it’s taking over our closets.

Modeled by ALENA CHETOKA

Photography by Dan Landoni Photography, www.danlandoni.com Hair and Makeup by Candace Orlandi, www.candaceorlandi.com

Sep tem ber 2011

e r 2011 www.frontrowmonthly.com | Se Frpte M mb | 37

38

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

39

40

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

41

42

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

43

Styled by www.stylesegment.com; Accessories by Pageboy Salon and Boutique (www.pageboypgh.com) and Kist Boutique (on facebook); Hair feathers from Verve 360 Wellness (www.theverve360.com) For Inquiries on Merchandise, contact Jonano’s Sales department at racheallee@jonano.com or call 1.877.ECO.9753 Ext. 1 Visit www.jonano.com

46

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

47

FASHION

All clothing from Reflect Apparel, 1920 Settlers Ridge Center Drive Pgh, PA 15205 ph. 412.787.2749 http://reflectapparel.com

MEN

Modern Casual Spice up September with easy pieces that can be layered (and un-layered ;)

Photography by Christina Shields

Photography

http://www.wix.com/cshieldsphotography/ christina-shields-photography Modeled by Jarvis Powers and

Michael Paul Makin

Styled by Cortny Booth 48

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

49

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

51

52

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

53

54

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

55

56

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

57

TRAVEL Buenos Aires isn’t on most peoples ‘must visit’ list but it should be.

The “Paris of South America” has culture, fashion, wine, a non-stop night life and of course, beef. Here are the things you really want to know about this city but won’t find in your average tour guide.

Just like any major city there are plenty of ways to get around. My favorite transportation is by far the Buenos Aires Death Rocket, or what locals call a taxi. B.A. doesn’t have any amusement parks and I know why, if they need a thrill they just hail a cab. The traffic is insane, a 3 lane road will have 4 rows of cars with scooters in between. The cabbies weave in and out at ridiculous speeds never looking anywhere but straight ahead. Surprisingly I didn’t see a single fiery 12 car pile up the whole time I was there. If you aren’t that adventurous, walking is, of course a great way to see the sights; and the subway, although a bit sketchy can be taken from one end of the city to the other for about 50 cents.

58

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

To most of the world Argentina is known for one thing...Beef.

B.A. is full of amazing asado restaurants that offer up giant plates of meat for a ridiculously cheap price. The steaks I ate there are by far the best I’ve ever had, but the rest of Argentinean cuisine isn’t much to write home about. If you’re a vegetarian I feel sorry for you but you won’t starve, most place have a lot of dishes that can be ordered meatless.

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

59

TRAVEL

Being a major city there are tons of lodging options from the Hilton to a hostel and many people staying an extended period of time go with a short term lease apartment. The least expensive is by far a hostel, for about $10 a night you get a bed, breakfast, communal bathroom and possibly a decent case of crabs. They are normally filled with young people from all over the world that like to party and have a good time.

60

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

The nightlife in B.A. is unlike anywhere I’ve ever been and there is everything from dance clubs to sports bars. Most people don’t go out until around 11pm and on weekends frequently go until 7 or 8am. It’s not uncommon to still see a line at 4 in the morning for people still trying to get into a club. One of my favorite places was a bar simply called Franks. It’s on a quite, dark, seemly residential street with only a 3” x 6” sign that just says “Franks”.

You knock on the big steel door and a eye slit slams open and someone on the other side asks if you know the password. If you don’t know, it slams back shut. Luckily someone I was with did so the bouncer opened the door into a pitch black alley with just a phone booth at the other end. You walk to the booth pick up the receiver and dial in the 4 digital code which opens the back of the booth into a super posh 20’s style speakeasy. Drinks are served by suspender clad bartenders well versed in classic mixology. My gimlet with fresh, hand peeled lime rinds literally took ten minutes to make, shake and be perfectly poured into the proper glass.

Sep tem ber 2011

I think it’s also worth noting that the whole time I was there I didn’t see one fall down drunk person making an ass of themselves. Not a single shoeless girl being carried out by a group of friends or a meathead guy all hopped up on Jager Bombs trying to fight everyones that walks in. Most locals don’t seem to drink for the purpose of getting drunk, it’s really about being out and being social.

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

61

TRAVEL

Quilmes is by far the most popular beer in B.A. but tastes like a sweet, watered down Miller Lite. That maybe your thing but if not the Patagonia Brewery makes some decent beers that are readily available. You can also get all the standard liquors at any bar or restaurant and if you want to try something more native order a Fernet and Coke. I think it tastes like bitter Scope but the locals seem to love it.

If you’re going to be out partying till 4 a.m. you’re going to need some caffeine. The local energy drink is called Speed and I love how they don’t beat around the bush with the name. It’s available in all the corner stores and has enough caffeine to make you twitch. If you order a red bull and vodka you’re probably going to get a Speed Vodka.

If you’re more of a coffee drinker there seems to be a cafe on every block to feed your fix.

62

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

B.A.’s favorite stimulant is by far Maté. In the afternoon everywhere you look you see people of all ages carrying around little brown cups full of what appears to be grass clippings, that’s Maté.

It’s prepared by stuffing a bunch of dried herbs in a calabash gourd, pouring some hot water over it and sipping it through a silver straw. Not only is it an afternoon pick-me-up, it’s a social event. Groups of friends get together to talk about their day and pass the gourd around. It taste exactly how it looks, like ground up grass and hay.

I’m not trying to condone drug use of any kind especially in a foreign country but most of us are grown ups, are capable of making grown up decisions and dealing with the potential consequences that go along with them. A small, personal-use amount of pot isn’t illegal in B.A. and is easy to get. Also almost everywhere you go you’ll see teenagers carrying around tupperware containers of pot brownies for sale. Uh, I’ve been told they’re pretty good.

Se pte mb e r 2011

B.A. is a city full of beautiful women and I’ve been told the guys aren’t bad either. Everywhere you look you see couples locked up in a 7th grade dance style make out session we began to call “B.A.P.D.A.” The thing is- most people live at home well into their 20’s so taking someone back to the house usually isn’t an option. Luckily there are rent by the hour hotels all over the city which apparently aren’t nearly as sleazy as they sound. Young and old people alike are lined up at these places to get a little alone time in one of their themed rooms.

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

63

TRAVEL

Buenos Aires is full of awesome things to do and see but if you want to venture out you a lot of options within a day bus trip.

-Mendoza - The world famous wine region known for it’s Malbec and incredible landscape.

-Iguazu Falls - A giant set of waterfalls on the border of Argentina and Brazil that put Niagara to shame.

-Uruguay - A 45 minute ferry ride will get you to the city of Colonia Uruguay. Rent some scooters and tour the cobble stone streets of this historic town.

-Patagonia - If you’re an outdoor adventure kind of person this region needs no explanation. Patagonia is the mountain and glacier filled southern portion of the county that’s always been a meca for backpackers and climbers.

64

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011

P-town Bound

THE DOMESTIC DANDY

by Jeffrey Clouser

It may be September, but it’s not too late to get away for a week of fun and immerse yourself in art and design!

If you’re searching for a quick get-away, take some advice from me and head up north to Provincetown, Massachusetts. Recently, we left the hot and humid air of our nation’s Capital behind for this beautiful northern coastal town and the refreshingly cooler air of Cape Cod. After an hour flight to Boston, and an exciting 90 minute ride on the fast ferry, we pulled into the harbor and docked alongside the pier of Provincetown.

As the ferry pulls up to the pier, and you catch your first glimpse of Provincetown, you know you’re about to become a part of a rather eclectic community. Full of colorful characters, Provincetown offers the most fun you‘ll ever have with your clothes on!

Once you and your stylish bags are off the ferry and settled into your lodgings for the week, head out to where the action is on Commercial Street! Stroll down this quaint thoroughfare and pop your head into the many eclectic shops offering everything from fun maritime objects, witty tees and welcome mats to an array of casual and sophisticated clothing and home design goods!

Provincetown offers many home design stores. Your first stop should be Forbidden Fruit at 173 Commercial Street. Here you’ll find a mix of statuaries, paintings, and home goods handmade by small companies, artists, and local craftspeople. On our visit, I fell in love with this statuesque vase reminiscent of classic Greek sculpture.

When you’re finished browsing the offerings at Forbidden Fruit, head down to Chaddington’s at 240 Commercial Street. Here you’ll find beautiful traditional décor and accessory items with a twist. While I was there, I had my eye on a beautiful wool plaid doctor’s bag. However, after some pause, I controlled myself and refrained from purchasing. Did I really need yet another stylish traveling bag? After all, there is a limit to how many one can actually us…. or is there?

After visiting Chaddington’s stroll down to Shor. This beautiful storefront features unique and modern home décor and clothing for the discerning shopper. My favorite items from their chic and comfortable selections included a beautiful white angora sheep pillow and this gorgeous coral sculpture.

After a busy morning filled with beautiful things, you’ll need a little sustenance to reenergize. For some classic seafood, head over to the Lobster Pot at 321 Commercial Street. We really encontinued on page 66

Sep tem ber 2011

www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

65

IN THIS CORNER

REDNECKS

O

ur world is rife with confrontation. The Jews and the Palestinians are always fighting. The North Koreans and South Koreans seem perpetually on the verge of war. And, of course, there’s the Yankees and the Red Sox. The most disturbing battle however, in my humble opinion, is being waged on the highways and back-roads of the good ole’ US of A. That is, the war between rednecks who drive Fords and those who drive Chevys!

Odds are you’ve seen one of these soldiers on the road. They may not wear army camouflage or Naval Whites, but you can recognize them by the badge they proudly fly: a cartoon Calvin pissing on the logo of their rival! Now some of our younger readers may not know who Calvin is. That’s understandable seeing as how the last time he was popular Barry Obama hadn’t yet emigrated to the U.S. from Kenya, and Justin Bieber was merely a gleam in his father’s drunken eye!

Calvin was the human half of a comic strip depicting the misadventures of a young boy and his stuffed tiger. How this seemingly unassuming young man came to symbolize the hatred that one group of car owners feels toward another, remains a mystery. I believe, however, that it went something like this: A dimly lit fire hall. Cigarette butts and discarded slips of colored paper, the remnants of last night’s BINGO, still scattered the floor. The “Grand Wizard” as he’s called by the other members of his hate group, draws himself out of his folding chair to tower above his followers.

“Alright,” he says, pausing briefly to spit a wad of Red Man into an empty bottle of Mountain Dew. “Our goal here tonight is to come up with something…a logo of sorts.

Something that will offend anyone who drives a Ford. Something that will humiliate our enemy. I’m talking about the most unthinkable, distasteful, insulting thing we can think of.”

In the back of the room, a hand goes up. Slowly, Billy Ray Boone, the proprietor of Bill’s Barber and Tackle rises to be heard.

A wry smile crosses his lips as his eyes slow-

66

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

by Matt Caruso

ly circle the room in an effort to meet those of each of his brothers-in-arms.

“I got a great idea,” he says. Each and every eye and ear focuses on the good ol’ boy. The suspense is palpable. “Anyone remember Calvin and Hobbes?”

The next few weeks were a flurry of activity. Members of the organization scoured old funny pages to find the perfect pose. When they did, all it took was a steady hand to draw a yellow stream and position it strategically next to the blue and white oval Ford logo.

And just like that, a hate crime was born.

Even better, however, was the response to this attack by the guys who like Ford!

After several long brainstorming sessions, marred by creative differences and in-fighting proved fruitless, the answer suddenly appeared. The response was so simple that they had nearly missed it. So vindictive and on-point it was, however, that its revelation seemed almost divine.

“Why not just make Calvin piss on the Chevy logo?” someone asked in a voice that seemed to be accompanied by angelic strains.

And as it was said, so shall it be!

The best part about it is that stores sell these stickers right next to each other, along with the equally brilliant “Calvin pissing on the Dodge logo”. The mutually hated Dodge is apparently the vehicular equivalent of Nazi Germany, which even sworn enemies America and Russia could agree was an asshole! And by adding Dodge to the mix, Calvin has pissed on more American auto manufacturers than the Japanese!

I guess I just don’t get it. I understand racism…I don’t condone it, don’t get me wrong…but I can at least accept the fact that there is some fucked-up physiological response in some people which stimulates feelings of hatred upon seeing or thinking about a person of a certain race.

Does this same thing really happen when someone who owns a Ford sees someone driving a Chevy?

Imagine a good ol’ boy wheeling his F150 down the road. He’s having a great

day. The sun is shining; he’s listening to the radio (it’s probably Toby Keith; I mean, come on now!). All of a sudden his mood changes drastically.

“Did you fucking see that?” he snarls, smashing a fist into the steering wheel.

“Did you see that sonofabitch?”

“Who?” his cohort in the passenger seat shouts, scanning frantically in all directions.

“That goddamned Chevy that just rolled past us!” he screams, his eyes now red with a rage of unbridled prejudice.

“You mean that pick-up truck that looked practically identical to this one?”

Believe it or not, however, the “Pissing Calvin” is not the stupidest thing that you can put on your truck. That honor is shared by the fake bullet-hole stickers and “Truck Nutz”, the anatomically correct set of testicles that you can hang from the back or bottom of your ride. If you haven’t seen either of these, congratulations, you’re obviously much better than me at avoiding assholes! According to the “Truck Nutz” website, these fake gonads come in a variety of colors and can apparently be purchased without proof of a labotomy. I’ve only seen them in brass or silver, because, let’s face it, red would look pretty darn stupid!

As hard as I try, I cannot fathom what would possess someone to purchase either of these products! What message are you trying to send here? What is it that you want other drivers to think about you?

That you bought a truck with superior towing capacity? Well done. That you’ve driven through a rough area of town and lived to tell the tale? Once again, nice job!

Perhaps it’s just the policy of the DMV to send a set of fake balls or bullet stickers to anyone who requests the license plate “DCHEBG”.

Anyway…if you haven’t seen either of these harbingers of stupidity, keep your eyes peeled. The unfortunate truth is, you probably will. And when you do, look quickly at the vehicle’s back window. My guess is, you’ll find our friend Calvin! ◆ Matt Caruso, Front Row Monthly’s hammerin’ humorist, levies literary jabs and written uppercuts at any and all subjects.

Se pte mb e r 2011

by Cortny Booth images from www.wildlifeworks.com

W

WILDLIFE WORKS

ildlife Works, a San Francisco-based environmental friendly clothing company is giving consumers the opportunity to save endangered forests and help low income communities abroad.

The label uses eco-friendly organic cotton and manufactures their products at a factory in rural Kenya, employing the locals and bringing much-needed job opportunities to that area. Goods are distributed through an e-commerce website, as well as a retail page on Facebook. Mike Korchinsky, founder and chief executive, built the factory and launched the label in 1997. In 2005, he started a consumer plan to counterbalance carbon emissions in order to preserve woodlands and employ natives around Kenyan game preserves.

Wildlife›s website and Facebook page also offer the ability to view their carbon market credits. Carbon credits are created when

the equivalent of one metric ton of carbon dioxide is prevented from entering the atmosphere. Each carbon credit has a monetary value, depending on the type and source of the emission reduction produced.

Sportswear label, Puma AG, formed a partnership with Wildlife works to produce clothing at the Kenya factory. Furthermore, Puma’s parent brand, PPR SA, made a deal to purchase 98,729 tons of carbon credits from their Kenyan REDD project.

Many of us hear “eco-friendly” and picture bland, hemp-based tunics that we wouldn’t want to add to our closets. But Wildlife Works is one of the many eco-chic companies working to change that perspective. The pieces are soft, casual-chic and comfortable.

When sporting Wildlife Works, you not only look effortlessly stylish, you support a great cause, and maybe get a few extra karma credits of your own.

TRAIN WRECK FUN

position, we ended up in the bedroom. Now, Gretchen had a bit of a foot fetish. I had never licked a foot before, but I’m a trooper and willing to try anything new if I know that I’m going to get laid. As I sat at the end of the bed, I brought her supple foot to my mouth.

Gretchen was writhing in passion on the bed awaiting the sweet, sweet pleasure about to come. I then noticed that the foot only consisted of two toes. That’s right, two toes. I left in such a rush, there is probably still an Adam-shaped cartoon hole in the wall.

ADAM’S DEAL BREAKERS

by Adam Hornyak

I have dated quite a few women in my day and due to my selfish, shallow nature, I have broken up with all of them. My mother has complained for years that she wants grandchildren and that I should get off of my high horse and stick with someone for more than 3 dates. She believes that my lifestyle is superficial and that I am consistent in my overly picky nature.

Therefore, I wanted to share with you the reasons why I broke up with these women to dispel any rumors. Please take the time to revile in the dating suffering that I call “hell”:

Zoe B | March 2005

Zoe was a wonderful woman whom I met at the grocery store. I approached her in the produce department and made a few witty remarks, wherein I received her phone number. We managed to go out the next evening to a dark, little Italian restaurant near her house. As the night progressed, we found that we had quite a bit in common. We laughed, and told stories of our past. One thing led to another, and we ended up in my bed. Little did I know, she was covered neck to toe in tattoos. I’m not talking about cute little dolphins and rainbows, but graphic scenes that decorum does not permit me to embellish on. Sure, she was fun in bed, but when the lights were on, I would throw up in my mouth a little. Is that the mother of the grandchildren you were looking for mom?

Gretchen B | January 2008

Gretchen was a manager at a bar I’d periodically frequented. The bartender let me in on the secret that Gretchen had a crush on me and that I should talk to her. That night, we were at her apartment enjoying a bottle of wine. As is usually the case when I’m in this Sep tem ber 2011

Karin B | February 2008

Only a month after coming within inches of licking the toes of a circus freak, beautiful, beautiful Karin came into my life. She looked exactly like what I would imagine a 30-year old Megan Fox would, with long dark hair, haunting eyes, but missing the rumored hammer thumbs. Karin was hysterically funny. Karin was intriguing. Karin shot her ex-boyfriend. Wait, what? “You shot your ex-boyfriend?” I asked. “Yes” she replied. “And I don’t like to discuss it, so let’s just leave it at that.” Like hell I won’t!!! I want some details. My life could be on the line here over the most absurd mistake that I have historically tended to make time and time again. What if it was because he overcooked the eggs in the morning, or drove too fast on the highway? What if he folded the towels the wrong way and she decided that it was the last straw? I couldn’t possibly be with someone capable of shooting me, especially with my track record of cheating and not being able to cook eggs correctly. Sure, I have my fair share of superficiality, like the time I broke it off with Jackie because she whistled in her sleep, and that Anastasia woman who had a last name that was virtually impossible to pronounce. I may be picky at times, but I think I was justified on the aforementioned ladies. Am I being picky? I personally don’t think so, but my mom will be the judge of that.

Adam Hornyak is FRMs resident cynic and self-described “train wreck,” regularly offering a brief glance into his cough syrupfueled, usedcondomriddled world. Dont say you werent warned! www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

67

P-TOWN BOUND continued from page 63

joyed this Provincetown landmark and the famous clambake dinner consisting of clams, a fresh lobster and the traditional corn on the cob. Delicious! Just be sure to wear your bib!

After a long lunch by the sea, head back out and begin your search for your perfect Provincetown outfit. Two of my favorite clothing stores in P-town are Item at 209 Commercial Street and Coffeymen at 199 Commercial Street. Item offers fashionable men’s clothing with a sophisticated beach feel. One of my favorites was this pair of red espadrilles!

However, if you desire something a little more unique head over to Coffeymen, where owner Scott Coffey designs and creates his own line of men’s clothing.

He has a unique selection of t-shirts, dress shirts and pants perfect for the shopper who appreciates an original design. On our visit, Scott was working on a terry cloth polo shirt. Unfortunately, it was only a sample of a future line of shirts so we were unable to pick one up.

Once you’ve found the perfect home accessory and outfit, nothing feels better than a night on the town. Head to the piano bar for some sing-a-long fun with Bobbie Weatherbee, an amazing cabaret pianist and singer who performs at the Crown and Anchor piano bar. His energy and melodic voice puts everyone in the mood to belt out their favorite tunes…no matter what their vocal skills.

I hope you enjoy your design tour of Commercial Street! There are many fabulous stores in Provincetown, so be sure to check them all out. See you on the seaside! ◆

68

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

SAVE THE DRAMA continued from page 33

vorite “go to” shoes and you are set!

When you need to FANCY IT UP… Girls, the same little black dress you have had for years can evolve! Spice it up with a “statement” necklace like this Stella and Dot Marchesa. Or follow Jessica Alba’s lead! Tie your hair back in a sexy bun, throw on a sultry red lip, and grab the most stand-out earrings you own! With accessories on your side, the possibilities are endless!

Fellas, mix and match prints of your button ups with different ties! You don’t always have to wear a striped button up with a solid tie! Play with your options!

You can totally mix and match prints just like Usher did at the Grammy’s!

I mean hello!

It’s Usher, I think he knows what he’s doing! And, don’t forget to add a watch! Girls love a man who knows what time it is.

When you need to BE PROFESSIONAL… Independent women, the cardigan you own in 25 different colors and prints, because your office is always freezing?

Stop wearing it with the same top underneath! Think outside of the box! Pull different colors out of prints with your selection of cardigans! Belts also provide a way to switch it up! Switch back and forth from pencil skirts, to dress pants, to leggings! And, yes, leggings CAN be professional, as long as the top you pair with them wouldn’t fit your baby cousin!

Seriously.

Hard working men, step away from the black or khaki pants every once in a

while. It’s okay to try a dark brown, or a navy blue! Lately I have even seen a dark army green for fall! Try it! It will make those Polo’s look like new! Don’t be afraid to experiment with color!

See that? Now you have a whole new wardrobe awaiting your experimentation.

Next time you are pressed for time; don’t resort to driving to the mall and back like Danica Patrick! There is a safer and less stressful way to look your best! You have a vast array of options in your closet! That’s the beauty of personal style. You can mix and match in ways that represent your individuality! Now, everyone go check out your closets and see what you can come up with! You DO in fact have something to wear. And who knows? You just might become the next trendsetter!

(Stella and Dot marchessa necklace available at www. stelladot.com/jacquelines). ◆

GARMENT DISTRICT continued from page 19

Lapore. “Aspiring American designers need the local factories and suppliers in order for them to start their businesses and realize their dreams. With just a $5,000 loan I was able to start my business because of the help I got from the very same factories that I still work with today. None of my success would have been possible without them. We must support each and every one of these resources and make sure they stay strong for years to come.”

You can take immediate action to help Save the Garment Center by visiting www.savethegarmentcenter.org. Save the Garment Center is a campaign that was created by members of the fashion industry solely for the purpose of preserving the district. A piece of my heart lies from 34th to 40th street, between Broadway and Ninth Avenue. I can’t envision myself shopping anywhere other than our beloved fashion capital. Without our help, the Garment District may migrate out, leaving Manhattan without one of its signature industries. We go to New York to shop. We leave New York with memories and seventeen bags full of Marc Jacobs dresses and Jimmy Choo shoes. A New York that isn’t an epicenter of fashion?

Unthinkable. ◆ Se pte mb e r 2011

I’ve never read a book, took a class or really care about the fine art/science of actual beer tasting. I’m just a guy from Pittsburgh that loves drinking draft beer and saw a need for a nonsnobby, relatable guide for the average beer drinker…. Actually this is really just a way to justify to my wife all the expensive beer I drink.

If you’re interested in “real” but not nearly as cool reviews, a simple google search will get you all kinds of lame sites.

Weyerbacher Merry Monks’ $51 a case - 12oz. Bottle - 9.3%ABV

What they say: Merry Monks’ is a Belgian style Abby Tripel. To be true to the style, Merry Monks’ Ale is bottle conditioned. This means we add a bit of sugar and yeast just prior to bottling. This imparts a special effervescence to the beer, a creamier carbonation, and also extends the shelf life. The ongoing fermentation inside the bottle will change the character of the beer as it ages, and you’ll find it becomes dryer with age. You may want to lay down a few bottles for future evaluation. We suggest storing at cellar temperatures – around 55°F – and away from light.

When you try this beer you’re in for a unique treat. The special effervescence and creaminess are immediately apparent when pouring. The pilsner malts combined with the Belgian yeast strains yield a remarkable and complex flavorperhaps you’ll note subtle hints of banana and cookie dough. The flavor is nicely balanced and the finish moderate to dry, begging for the next sip. This 9.3% brew is avaiable year-round.

What I say: Looks like a Trap Tripel....Smells Like a Trap Tripel....Tastes like a freakin banana. Weird.

They also say “you’ll note subtle hints of cookie dough”.... uuhhhhh, no you won’t. Thats just dumb. I’m not saying the whole banana-rama is a bad thing it just caught me off guard.

The TakeOneDown.com Rating System

WOW! Top score. This beer is freakin amazing, give me another to

drink on the way to the distributor and call in sick tomorrow, I’m buying a keg MMMMM! Almost amazing, I’d totally spend the money on a case.

Eh. Not bad, I’d order it again if there wasn’t anything else better.

Bleh. It pretty much sucks, I’ll finish it but won’t ever buy it again.

Bluuuck! Th ats the best word I can come up with to describe the sound I make while puking.

Sep tem ber 2011

Also, heres a bit of learnin for yinz... whenever a beer has a monk on the bottle or is called an “abbey style” it’s to copy pay homage to the famous Trappist beirs that we at TakeOneDown hold so near and dear to our livers. Some don’t come close while I feel others come real close and even surpass.

Label: Nothing to special, just a average illustration of a few monks getting tipsy and a HUGE GOVERMENT WARNING about not drinking when you’re knocked up.

Overall: “eehhh” www.frontrowmonthly.com | FrM |

69

70

| FrM | www.frontrowmonthly.com

Se pte mb e r 2011