The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland
2019 Vol.19 No.5
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The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland
Fanagans celebrate at National Q Mark Awards................ 4
David Capper entertains at the BIFD Conference .......... 8
Contents
Quinn's, Dundalk win 'Best Business Premises'............ 50
Editorial and Advertising contacts: Graham Brown | Ruth McQuillan Vikki Crangle | Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF email: sales@funeraltimes.com
Fanagans celebrate at National Q Mark Awards................. 4 BIFD Conference review.................................................... 8 IAFD News....................................................................... 12 City Cemetery opens Baby Haven Memorial................... 20 NAFD news....................................................................... 27 Open day for Milne Funeral Services, Banbridge............ 34 PEAI News........................................................................ 39 Matt Black goes 'Under the Blanket' ................................ 44 Hat-trick of 'Best Business Premises' award for Quinn's Funeral Home, Dundalk...................................... 50 SAIF news......................................................................... 53 Padraic Cawley reflects as the year draws to a close........ 56 Dr Bill Webster on anticipating Christmas....................... 60 Jennifer Muldowney reports from the US National Funeral Directors Association Expo in Chicago .......................... 65 Mattie Lennon on the advantages of ageing..................... 68 BIE News.......................................................................... 72 Mary Elizabeth Dillon tells us of a Tale of two Funerals. 77 Recognising and dealing with stress................................. 78 Classifieds......................................................................... 79
Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused. FuneralTimes | 3
Celebrations for Fanagans at Q Mark Awards 2019 Dublin Funeral Directors attend gala event in Dublin
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here were smiles all around for Fanagans Funeral Directors at The Clayton Hotel on Dublin’s Burlington Road on Friday, September 27th, where the National Q Mark Awards ceremony took place. The gala event was a chance for all those nominated to celebrate the high standards they’d achieved in rigorous audits by EIQA, the proud guardians of the Q Mark suite of Quality standards. To make it onto the list, each enterprise had to earn a place in the top 6 per cent of the audits carried out across the island of Ireland. The Fanagan Group is Ireland’s largest group of funeral directors with 11 branches and 90 staff across the Dublin region. The company celebrates 200 years in business this year. Fanagans has had Q-Mark certification since 1994. They were the winners of the National Supreme Quality Award in
2001 and have been nominated on several occasions subsequently. Fanagans won the Outstanding performance category and were named National Winner for Quality Management Systems in 2018. They achieved their highest overall score of 92% in their most recent EIQA audit. Management sees being nominated for The National Q Mark Awards as a message for customers that they care about quality and continuous improvement above all else. For Fanagans, this permeates every facet of the organisation and drives every decision they make. Group Head of Operations Bryan Murphy says “We are delighted to have been nominated for such a prestigious award. The entire team at Fanagans works tirelessly every day to make a profound difference in other people’s lives and the pride such a nomination brings is palpable throughout
Pictured at The National Q Mark Awards 2019 are Soraid McEntee (in blue) from EIQA with the team from Fanagans Funeral Directors (Photo: Conor McCabe Photography) 4 | FuneralTimes
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the organisation. Knowing we are running our business well, caring for and supporting our client families and looking after our wonderful staff is reward in itself.” The value of the Q Mark brand is also vital when it comes to attracting sponsors for the awards. This year Solus, Ishka Irish Spring Water, BlackBee, The Irish Independent and Kelsius all signed up to have their brand aligned with the event. The Awards night is also a great
opportunity for the Q Mark Awards charity partner to make their pitch to the business community. This year John and Jayne Glynn attended the event on behalf of the Gavin Glynn Foundation. John spoke about his son Gavin’s journey through cancer and why he and his family were inspired to help others with children who have to travel abroad for cancer treatment. Fundraising in aid of the Foundation raised more than €8000 on the night with all prizes generously donated by Q Mark customers.
Wilcox luxury Jaguar XJ limousine for Malcomsons Funeral Home
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James Erwin and team members standing alongside a pre-owned Jaguar XJ Limousine supplied by Wilcox Limousines Ltd.
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alcomsons Funeral Home, based in Lurgan, Co. Armagh has been in business over 100 years. Professional Independent Funeral Directors, they are members of the NAFD. The modern funeral home has recently been renovated and includes a funeral church, lounge area, and adjoining viewing room. The new vehicle forms part of James’ ongoing investment in the fleet.
The luxury limousine will also be AVAILABLE FOR HIRE when not in use. It comes with a high specification including satellite navigation, heated seats, air suspension, luxury leather and cruise control. Wilcox Limousines Ltd would like to thank James for his continued custom and wish him every success with his latest vehicle. FuneralTimes | 5
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FuneralTimes | 7
BIFD Conference Belfast 2019 Review Late October saw the BIFD Conference AGM & Banquet, held at the Malone Lodge Hotel, Belfast. Plans came together beautifully, with the event well attended and running seamlessly.
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number of attendees from further afield took the opportunity to avail of Malone Lodge’s famous hospitality across the weekend. National President, Mr David Capper was delighted at the participation over the course of the weekend, with lively debate and conversation, interspersed with catchups, cocktails, and a trip to the Crumlin Road Gaol adding to the Gala Dinner and Awards Ceremony. The Friday Dinner 56 guests ‘got the party started’ on the Friday Evening. After a great hot buffet dinner, the evening continued with the Swingtime Starlets who took us back in time with the sounds of World War II.
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David and the Swingtime Starlets The Saturday Conference… Commencing with The AGM There was a lot of good debate and talk about the Institute finances, membership levels, education and the future direction of the BIFD.
The Saturday Gala Dinner / The President's Charity Throughout his year, David Capper has been supporting The Children’s Hospice of Northern Ireland. Representatives from the hospice, Sharon Gorman and Catherine O’Hara, were at the dinner and gave an insight into the work of the hospice and showed a video. The small glimpse we were given into what they do hardly left a dry eye in the room – it was heartbreaking but warming to know that there is support to help in the hardest and darkest parts of peoples’ lives. Thank you, Children’s Hospice of Northern Ireland, for all the help and support you give to families. £1700 was raised on the night for the Children’s Hospice. The Awards
The Handover of Offices: The New BIFD Team 2019/20
The President’s Lady, Gill Serjeant, The New National President, Mr Malcolm Serjeant, Immediate Past President, David Capper and First Vice President, Mr Paul Stibbards
President, Mr David Capper joining in with the entertainment The Entertainment Mr Capper provided a fantastic array of entertainment throughout the evening. From a photo booth to a classy formal photographer and a wonderful Irish Band, with our president taking a turn himself, to a very enthusiastic DJ who kept us all dancing until 1.00am – thankfully the hour went back…… The Sponsors A huge thank you to this year’s sponsors: Dodge. J. Sheridan & Sons, Funeral Soft Furnishings, Belfast Telegraph, Aquaid Belfast, Mid Ulster Granite, Lexus Belfast, Funeral Times, Arthur Gresty Funeral Homes, Will Case & Partners Funeral Directors, Ecclesiastical Funeral Planning Services and Shepherd’s Mortuary Supplies. The Extended Thanks The Reverend William Taggart – For providing a very personal Grace before and after Dinner. Mr Alun Tucker (CEO FFMA) – For proposing the toast to the Institute. Sir Jeffrey Donaldson MP – For responding to the toast to the partners and guests. Sharon Gorman and Catherine O’Hara – The Children’s Hospice of Northern Ireland. FuneralTimes | 9
Awards presentation
Thomas Stevenson receiving his certificate
Georgina Kneller receiving her certificate
Sophie Cross receiving her diploma
Receiving diplomas on behalf of Andrew Crymble and Scott Otley
All photos were taken and are credited to Paul McFarland. David would like to offer his sincere thanks to him for doing such a great job that evening 10 | FuneralTimes
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IAFD News A message from the President At the date of writing my parting contribution for Funeral Times as IAFD President I am in the final stages of preparation for the IAFD Annual General Meeting on 16th November 2019. This has included my reflections on aspects of IAFD activity this year, some of which may not have been immediately obvious to members and others. For instance, IAFD continues to support the following stakeholders in a number of different ways;
Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF)
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ogether with O'Flaherty Funeral Directors, Galway, IAFD sponsored the very successful ‘Living with Loss’ event which IHF organised in Galway in November 2019. Those who addressed the session included Katie Ann O'Toole and Helen Greally. The Guest speaker was Meghann Scully. Meghann is a journalist, author (Broken Love), a Radio DJ, former Miss Galway and a Galway native. She has spoken in the media about the deaths of her father Maxie and brother, Marcus and her experience. As an aside, it is worth mentioning that our members, Fanagans (Dublin) and Fordes (Cork) have also sponsored other IHF ‘Living with Loss’ events in 2019. In addition, IAFD has helped IHF in the recent past with its annual Forums. The 2019 event was held in October in the conference centre, Dublin Castle. This year’s theme was “Dying is everyone’s business” and the keynote address was delivered by Dr. Kathryn Mannix, author of the best-selling book “With the End in Mind” Readers may be interested in the following IHF report regarding this year’s Forum – ‘There was an exciting panel discussion,
Dublin Castle, Conference Centre questions and answers from the audience, as well as workshops which included developments in bereavement, exploring the key questions for healthcare arising from the Assisted Decision Making Capacity Act 2015 (ADMA), funerals past and present, nursing home issues and the ever popular (and newly-named) Café Conversation, Bás, Cáca agus Cupán Tae – (Death, cake and a cup of tea).’
Nursing Homes Ireland (NHI)
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different example is IAFD’s continuing liaison with Nursing Homes Ireland. Robert Fanagan recently met Sinead Morrissey of NHI regarding a number of matters including the very important subject, removals 12 | FuneralTimes
from nursing and residential homes. It is anticipated that further discussions will take place in the near future after which IAFD members will be provided with an update.
IAFD News 10th Major Emergency Management Conference I also wish to refer to the 10th Major Emergency Management Conference which was held in November in Athlone. The speakers included; • Comdt. Finbarr McArdle – Air Corp Aerial Firefighting • Donal O’Driscoll, Inspector, An Garda Síochána – Countering Complexity: Dynamic decision-making in crisis response • Chief Fire Officer, David Carroll – 10 Minutes before the ball is not the time to learn to dance: Hydra for Major Emergency Management Training • Detective Sargent, David O’ Leary – Ethiopian Flight 302: Disaster Victim Identification in a complex Mass Fatality Incident • Eugene Clonan, Irish Coast Guard – Coast Guard New Governance Structure and Developments for Search and Rescue The conference is attended by representatives of many agencies and departments from all over the country. IAFD normally receives an invitation to attend this very interesting event and in 2017 provided a speaker. Hopefully readers will have been interested to learn about these events arranged by organisations with which IAFD is associated. Our motivation, in providing support, is to promote the important role our members play in helping those who have suffered loss through bereavement. Before I make a general comment about IAFD it is appropriate that I mention Joanne Cooney who has recently stepped down as IAFD Education Programme Coordinator. I want to acknowledge her immense contribution in the promotion and provision of education within the IAFD. I would like to thank Joanne for all her hard work; she has been a great source of support and encouragement to all the students over the years and a real inspiration
to IAFD members at large. The Association will always be indebted to Joanne for what IAFD has achieved in providing excellent education programmes for its members. Whilst referring to education – IAFD Members who wish to participate in the FDCA Education Course commencing in September 2020 should register their interest by emailing Donal Forde – donalforde@sullivans.ie Dates and venues are yet to be finalised and will be advertised as soon as possible. The course features a combination of classroom and practical based learning with industry experts on Funeral Business costs, payments, dealing with solicitors, conducting a funeral, presentation i.e. coffin, wake house/funeral home presentation etc. FuneralTimes | 13
In conclusion, it has been an honour for me to be President in 2019 which was another successful year for IAFD. Our membership is at the highest level since the establishment of the Association which speaks for itself. Hopefully, tangible benefits for members increased this year again and I have no doubt this will continue during the Presidency of Robert Fanagan. I wish
Robert every success in the coming months as he works with the Board to promote and develop IAFD in the interests of its members, bereaved people and its many stakeholders. Edwina Fitzgerald Immediate Past President - IAFD
Cavan training workshop
Back Row L to R: Ronan Glynn Tuam Galway, Kevin Carroll Kildare, Kieran Mullen Cavan, Gerard Quinn Dundalk, Padraig Ward Monaghan, Colm Kieran (Funeral Director Solutions), Hugh Flynn Westmeath, Johnny Keogan Meath, Willie Ryan Meath, Front Row L to R: Joan Gilsenan Mullingar, Edwina Fitzgerald (IAFD President), Mary Cunniffe (IAFD Past President) A Training workshop was held in Cavan Town on 26th September 2019 when Colm Kieran, Funeral Director Solutions presented the subject, ‘2020 Vision for Funeral Director Charges’. The event was very well attended and the feedback from those present was extremely positive.
New Members FULL MEMBERSHIP • Maguires Funeral Directors Omagh. Co. Tyrone
• Brian Poots & Sons Dromore, Co. Down
• McCreesh & Sons Dromintee, Newry, Co. Down
• JP Ward & Son Dublin
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IAFD ASSOCIATES • Funeral Director Solutions, Kingscourt. Co. Cavan
IAFD News Robert Fanagan (President) Fanagans 54, Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01-4754101 Email: robert@fanagans.ie Donal Forde (First Vice President) Forde & Sons Funeral Home South Gate Bridge Cork Co. Cork Ph: 021-4318222 Email: fordes@indigo.ie Dara Gillespie (Hon. Secretary) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Niall Mulligan (Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com
Mary Cunniffe (PRO) Massey Bros Funeral Home Templeogue Village Dublin 6W Mobile: 085-8010742 Ph: 01-4907601 Email: mary.cunniffe@hotmail.com Tom Lawless Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore Co. Offaly Ph: 057-9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Dermot McCarthy McCarthy’s Funeral Home Gurrane, Banteer, Cork. Ph: 029-56044 Email: dermot@mccarthyfuneraldirectors.com
Other appointments will be published in the next edition of Funeral Times
Edwina Fitzgerald (Immediate Past President) Fitzgeralds Funeral Directors Channel Road Rush Co. Dublin Ph: 0873512949 Email: edwinafitzgerald78@gmail.com FuneralTimes | 15
GM Canopies
GM Canopies are the sole distributors in N. Ireland and the Republic of Ireland for Vitabri Canopies, tables and accessories. Vitabri Canopies are manufactured in fourteen sizes and thirty-three colours. Our graphics and printing department can design and print to your exact specifications. 183 Tamlaght Road, Omagh, Co. Tyrone BT78 5LL. Tel: 028 8224 4025 Fax: 028 8224 3338 (Rep. Of Ireland prefix 048). Email: gmcanopies@btinternet.com / www.gmcanopies.com 16 | FuneralTimes
The quality choice in graveside canopies - ‘Vitabri’ G
M Canopies prides itself on its close ties with the funeral industry throughout Ireland. The firm continue to provide multipurpose canopies for the progressive Funeral Director and have gone from strength to strength in recent years, acting as the sole distributors throughout Ireland for Vitabri Canopies, a leading European manufacturer of quality portable aluminium-framed canopies, tables and display units. The company believes that the provision of a quality shelter for bereaved relatives during inclement weather conditions is an extension of the service which those called to the funeral profession value above all else. The canopies can provide an ideal shelter outside the funeral home or wake house and at the burial. They are widely used by Funeral Directors throughout the UK and Europe who wish to offer privacy and comfort during the funeral service. Funeral Directors in Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland who have purchased Vitabri canopies thus far have been impressed with the quality, versatility and adaptability of the product.
The canopies are also widely used by Parish and Church Committees for a wide range of indoor and outdoor functions, including Dedication Services, Remembrance Services and Cemetery Sunday Services. Another key use is the provision of privacy when opening and closing graves or in the event of an inhumation, as well as cover when engraving, cleaning or repairing headstones. Vitabri canopies are manufactured in fourteen sizes and thirty-three colours. The company’s graphics and printing department can design and print to exact specifications. GM Canopies are the sole distributors in Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland for Vitabri Canopies, tables and accessories. For further information contact: GM Canopies, 183 Tamlaght Road, Omagh, Co. Tyrone BT78 5LL Tel: 028 8224 4025 Fax: 028 8224 3338 (Rep. Of Ireland prefix 048). Email: gmcanopies@btinternet.com www.gmcanopies.com
FuneralTimes | 17
R. Gibneydelivery of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral Directors, collectsQuinn his new hearse from Fearghas New from Fearghas Quinn Hearse and Limousines.
Peter, from Eastwood’s Funeral Directors, Crumlin Co. Antrim, collects his new E-Class hearse from Quinn Hearse & Limousine.
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Baby Haven Memorial opens On the 12th September 2019, families who campaigned for almost five years described the unveiling and dedication of a memorial in the City Cemetery, Belfast, in remembrance of 7160 babies as a very poignant and emotional day.
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he babies who rest here were still-born or died at an early age. The burials were between 1945-1996 at The Belfast City Cemetery Plot Z1, a location which had remained unmarked for over 70 years. The desire for the memorial was initiated in January 2015 by Mrs Agnes Close of Sandy Close Funeral Services. Agnes gained support for this memorial by giving Agnes and Sandy Close
interviews on local television, radio and newspapers, which resulted in hundreds of families coming forward to campaign with her to highlight the need for a permanent and lasting tribute at the Baby Haven. Agnes and Sandy Close’s baby son Maxwell was buried here in January 1973. Agnes explains, “In the past baby loss was treated very differently, many families
at Belfast City Cemetery
Agnes Close with Alderman Brian Kingston, William Humphrey MLA and Naomi Thompson including myself weren’t permitted to see or hold our babies when they died or to plan a funeral, so to finally see this beautiful memorial in place is recognition to not just our babies but also recognition of the personal loss suffered by so many. These babies were and are part of our families, always loved and never forgotten. This memorial ensures generations to come will know what this place represents� The families wish to thank Belfast City Council for agreeing to this memorial and to all the parties across Belfast for their support of the proposal. Sincere thanks to our wonderful sculptor Charlotte Howarth, we could not have wished for a more beautiful and fitting tribute to our babies. Also to William Humphrey MLA and his colleague Naomi Thompson who have both been with us from the first day and throughout this campaign, supporting and guiding us through every process over almost five years. You both have the immense gratitude of us all.
Agnes Close unveiling the memorial FuneralTimes | 21
Your opinion matters Damian and the team at Creative Binding have spent over a decade striving to meet the ever-growing and changing needs of an industry so diverse that no one product can simply be assumed to satisfy the requirements of two customers. Moreover, innovation and market-leading product releases have become a staple of the Dublin-based design firm’s reputation, indicative of a company who relish and reflect on every interaction with customers old and new, using this feedback to consistently develop and expand their offerings. One recent example of this is the announcement that, following positive discussion at Stoneleigh over the summer, they are now supplying 31 inch navy umbrellas, screen printed on 2 or 4 panels as standard. Alternative styles with different price ranges will soon follow. A section of Creative Binding’s wide portfolio of clients hail from different trades. This inevitably leads to a range of different requirements and specifications. As such, the colour range available across products will continue to grow. The team are additionally pleased with their new ‘Bags for life’, non-woven material bags offering. Handles are sewn onto the bag making them Ideal for heavier objects such as urns and they have a plastic base. Bags can be custom-made to your specifications and are available in a selection of colours. Damian was thrilled to have the opportunity to catch up with friends and customers, old and new, in Athlone at the IAFD AGM. For more information contact Damian on T:00353 1 625 1924 or visit: www.creativebinder.com.
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Treasured memories captured by Funerals Live W
ith the world becoming smaller by the day and the accessability of air travel meaning most families will have several members residing outside their country of birth, attending the funerals of loved ones may simply not always be a realistic possibility. Being part of the final goodbye to someone who has meant something in our lives has long been considered a crucial part of the grieving process, however what can be done in a situation where getting from Tasmania to Tipperary in 2 days notice just isn’t feasible? Alan Foudy of Funerals Live enables families to record their loved ones funeral service in order to later afford family and friends who are unable to make it in person the opportunity to feel part of the experience. Virtual mourners are presented with the opportunity to take part in the grieving process via a secure online viewing system. With the families permission, the funeral service is recorded and made available within several hours through a secure online portal. Crucially, the ceremony may only be accessed and viewed by those who have received a specific password, thus ensuring high levels of privacy for the family. Additionally, a live streaming option exists for viewing in real-time. Funerals Live strive to provide a
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FuneralTimes | 1
Representing the needs of almost 4,000 funeral homes, the National Association of Funeral Directors is the “Voice of the Funeral Profession”, supporting members and assuring the public of high standards for more than 100 years. The NAFD is influential • Consulted by Government on legislative issues • First call for the media on funeral / bereavement issues • Established cross party groups in all four UK Parliaments / Assemblies • Universally endorsed professional qualifications
The NAFD is inclusive • We are financially independent of any other organisation • We campaign on issues affecting all members equally • Members range from small independent firms to groups and Co-operatives • We are totally democratic with one member, one vote - irrespective of the number of funeral homes
The NAFD is supportive • Best benefits package within the sector, saving up to £5,000 a year on essential business costs • Free helplines for financial, legal and employment law, HR, public relations and repatriation issues • Free £5m professional indemnity insurance per UK funeral home member - unique within the sector • Free insurance against tribunal claims, H&S and tax prosecutions
The NAFD is trusted • NAFD members are trusted by consumers to deliver our Funeral Promise: • A funeral that is a fitting farewell, at a price they are comfortable with • Treating bereaved families with respect and acting with integrity • Fulfilling any special wishes and requests • The right to independent redress if the need should arise
Your business will be Stronger by Association with the NAFD. Apply to join today and start taking advantage of the benefits of membership. Call: Su Lewis on 0121 711 1343 ext. 20. Visit: www.nafd.org.uk/whyjointhenafd 26 | FuneralTimes
NAFD News Collaboration, shared responsibility and wellbeing key themes at NAFD Autumn General Meeting In early October, the NAFD held its Autumn General Meeting. Funeral directors and supplier firms from across the UK were welcomed by NAFD President David Barrington, who shared with them the key themes and events of the first half of his year in office. He also invited them to join him in Liverpool for NAFD Conference, which will take place from 1-3 May 2020 – outlining a weekend of lively debate, excellent speakers – and fantastic entertainment. During the AGM, members heard about the significant work undertaken over the last six months by the NAFD team and member volunteers across a wide range of issues, including the latest steps in the implementation of the Burial and Cremation Act (Scotland), the extensive revision of the Manual of Funeral Directing and the NAFD’s work to respond to the Competition and Market Authority’s market investigation. NAFD Chief Executive Jon Levett outlined the healthy financial position of
the Association and the next steps in the ongoing governance reform programme and, addressing the members for the first time, Jonathan Rees (the new independent chair of the NAFD management committee) shared both his positive first impressions of the Association and his thoughts on the ongoing work to modernise governance of the NAFD. He urged members to inject ideas, get involved and influence debate, to help shape the future. The Association was privileged to hear
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from a number of external speakers. Firstly, Joanne Kearsley - the Senior Coroner for Manchester North spoke movingly about the collaboration between organisations in the response to the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017. After lunch, the independent chair of the Funeral Service Consumer Standards Review (FSCSR), Lewis Shand Smith, gave an update on the work of the review – as well as his background as a champion of the consumer, through his work as Chief Ombudsman - and Sarah Jones from Full Circle Funerals shared the findings of her recent research report into the experiences that a range of bereaved people had in organising funerals. This session provided some really valuable insights and provoked significant debate. Finally, there was a debate about the importance of NAFD membership to different types of members and how the Association can meet the diverse needs of
member organisations going forward. The NAFD is grateful to MuchLoved, Coastal Media, Dodge, Funeral Products, SEIB and, particularly, to headline sponsors Arranger and Funeral Guide, for their support of the Autumn General Meeting.
Funeral Director Monthly praised for ‘tackling sensitive issues’ as it wins silver at the Association Excellence Awards
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n October, members of the NAFD team attended the 2019 Association Excellence Awards, held at The Kia Oval, for which the Association was a finalist in four categories – taking home a silver award for Funeral Director Monthly.
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The NAFD was up for not only the Best Association Magazine award for Funeral Director Monthly, but also Best Longstanding Association Event for the National Funeral Exhibition 2019, Best Association Team for the work of
National Office and it was shortlisted by the organisers for the coveted Overall Best Association Award too. Founded in 2014, the Association Excellence awards have gone from strength to strength and are the acknowledged accolade to recognise and reward the hard-won achievements of trade bodies, professional membership organisations and associations. Bringing together an outstanding panel of judges, representing associations from every sector, these awards will recognise individuals, teams and initiatives and highlight excellence in how trade bodies operate and serve their members and clients. Shortlisted entries were reviewed by 33 independent judges who are all chief executives of leading associations. The judges’ said of Funeral Director Monthly that it is “good use of a publication as a business tool to underpin renewal and also communicate on key topics for members.” They also commented that the magazine “aligns well to key issues of small business owner in its purpose. The magazine is well positioned in the customer journey to build awareness with future members and also those influencers to the sector.” The NAFD was against the likes of
Diabetes UK, the Royal College of Midwives, the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, the Builders’ Merchant Federation, the Law Society of Scotland, the Royal College of General Practitioners and the National Police Federation in the various categories. Jon Levett, Chief Executive Officer of the NAFD, said: “I am delighted that the NAFD team was recognised for their work to support members in running their businesses, for representing the Association to Government and the media, for upholding and developing standards and the reputation of the profession and for organising events that inspire, inform and educate funeral directors. It is fantastic to bring home a silver award for Funeral Director Monthly. Given the nature of many of the projects we’re currently working on, who knows – next year we might secure a coveted gold one.”
NAFD supports launch of the Funeral Support Payment in Scotland
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he much-anticipated Funeral Support Payment became live in September, replacing the Funeral Expenses Payment for people living in Scotland. Part of the new Social Security Scotland Benefits agency, established to oversee recentlydevolved social security powers, the Scottish Government said the structure of the new payment will increase eligibility by 40% equating to around 2,000 more applicants and it has made an extra £2 million available to cover the anticipated extra demand. The Scottish Government said that
benefits of the new system include a more streamlined application process, a quicker acceptance or denial (this may include before a funeral has taken place, if the client allows the agency to contact the funeral director) and a new nearest relationship test based on the family structure included within the Burial and Cremation (Scotland) Act 2016. The NAFD has been part of the working group helping prepare and design the new benefit. On launch day, NAFD Past President Paul Cuthell, who has FuneralTimes | 29
represented the NAFD on the working group, told the media: “The NAFD is pleased to have supported the Scottish Government design the Funeral Support Payment. The streamlined application procedure will be of great benefit to bereaved people, and the fact that it is index-linked to inflation is a significant step in the right direction towards ensuring that people receive an appropriate level of support when they need it.” However, the Association still believes that the £700 payment is not enough and will continue to lobby Governments in England and Wales for an increase. It has also made its position clear to
both Governments that it believes the “basic” costs of a funeral include a coffin which, therefore, should be paid for without having to come out of the £700 payment. For the first time, in a move that has raised eyebrows in the profession, applicants can now choose to have the benefit sent to them instead of the funeral director. This has been included to give greater choice to bereaved people. If the client wants the payment to be made to the funeral director directly they can tick a box on the application form, called simply the Funeral Support Payment Form.
NAFD discusses education of young people about death at the 2019 Social Context of Death Dying and Disposal conference In September, Abi Pattenden, NAFD Immediate Past President, attended the 14th International Conference on the Social Context of Death, Dying and Disposal, held at the University of Bath and presented a paper discussing the NAFD’s research on what people want from a funeral and how the inclusion of death in the education curriculum would help to achieve this by preparing children for future bereavement, regardless of when they were to experience it. This was the latest step in the NAFD’s ongoing ‘Bereavement in Childhood’ project.
A
ttendees from 30 different countries came together to hear papers on a wide variety of topics, some of which resonated with the arguments made by Abi in her presentation - such as how picture books are useful in explaining death and dying to children, a proposed ‘death education’ programme in Poland and how the media can be taken advantage of in educating the public about death. There were also discussions on topics such as ‘terminal lucidity’ from a Japanese 30 | FuneralTimes
scholar, about sudden moments of clarity or improvement in condition as someone approaches death – and a keynote session delivered by Professor Dame Sue Black, a forensic anthropologist based at Lancaster University on some of the most memorable cases she had worked on (including during the Kosovan and Syrian conflicts, as well as individual deaths) and the role that her profession has in identifying people, and how the human tendency to modify our body can be helpful in this respect.
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23% funeral fee hike for Dublin Catholic Church Services P
atsy McGarry of The Irish Times recently revealed the upcoming funeral fee hike of 23% set to take effect across Dublin Catholic Churches in January 2020. The rise represents a total advance of 54% from 2018. Further concerns have been raised at simultaneous plans brought forward by Dublin’s Catholic archdiocese regarding the payment of fees. Previously, common practise has seen funeral directors pay
funeral fees individually to parishes, priests, sacristans and the like, however January 1st may see one single amount paid electronically, directly to parishes on a monthly basis, with tax, PRSI and USC deducted at this point. A spokeswoman for the Dublin archdiocese commented that the proposed changes were about bringing funeral payments “into line with statutory requirements”.
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Banbridge open day for Milne Funeral Services D
irector Andrew Milne spoke of his delight following the open day at Milne Funeral Services Banbridge, County Down funeral home, commenting how the volume of visitors and far exceeded what they had ever expected. Company founder Ian described how their idea from the offset was to provide ‘an insight of the community’s funeral home, owned by the community’s funeral director’. Clearly this proved to be a great success. The event saw a beautiful display of images Ian Milne with Charlie Rogers, Andrew Milne, David Simpson and Paul Finnegan
of some of the more unusual coffins, a feature on famous funerals the firm has been honoured to handle and the opportunity to hear a range of stories from attendees, as well as the opportunity to hear from guest speakers Paul Finnegan, NI Director of Cruse Bereavement and Charlie Rogers, Chief Executive of Plan With Grace. Andrew and Ian would like to thank all who were involved in making such a special and successful day.
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The Benefits of PEAI Membership # 1 Continuing education: The PEAI educational programmes which provide updates on any issues that affect their jobs. # 2 Networking opportunities: Professional association’s periodic meetings offer events throughout the year that allow professionals to network with their peers. You’ll forge lasting ties with others who have common professional interests and similar business concerns. These relationships will be a rich, ongoing source of inspiration and ideas. We try to accommodate nationwide meeting venue locations. # 3 Access to resources: Offer helpful information about our industry. Such resources may also provide news about upcoming events, conferences, meetings, and even career opportunities not publicised elsewhere. # 4 New perspective: Working as an embalmer can become extremely busy and they can get stuck in their own little bubbles. Being around other industry professionals with different viewpoints will expose you to new ideas and outlooks. This can have a very positive effect not only on your personal growth and development but also your mental health. # 5 Professional developments: Beyond proven certification provide some form of professional development opportunities. These come in the form of workshops programme.
# 6 Getting your name out there: Professional organizations can be a great way to increase your own visibility, this increased visibility can be essential when trying to enhance your own professional trade service, especially in the beginning of your career. #7 The PEAI supply all members with embalming certificates for repatriation cases.
The Benefits to the undertaker operating with our members. You can be assured that all our members are continuously enhancing their skills and stay ahead of industry trends and techniques with our educational programmes. As a result of availing our members service our members will aid you to provide a better service to your clients. The PIEA has an established Code of Professional Conduct which must be adhered to by all of it's members while practicing embalming. All our members are provided with Professional Identification cards and embalming documentation required to accompany repatriation cases. With you in mind please view our list of members available nationwide listed by county for your convenience www.professionalembalmers.ie All members must meet certain criteria before being accepted into the Association.
FuneralTimes | 39
40 | FuneralTimes
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household name throughout the funeral industry in Ireland, as well as further afield, F G Marshall Ltd are thrilled to announce the launch of their new mobile app – Remembered by F G Marshall. The app enables bereaved family and friends to create a digital memory bank for their loved ones, based around the entries from their book of remembrance. Much research, thought and attention to detail has gone into the creation over the past four years. One major bonus is the opportunity for crematoria to reach an audience in-tune with social media, through the sharing of a book of remembrance globally through platforms such as Instagram and Facebook. Available on both Android and Apple, Remembered by F G Marshall permits the addition of
memories, photographs and videos. There is an option to request a hand-penned copy of the entry as well as contact details for the crematorium involved, allowing crematoria to increase revenue streams with no additional cost. For more information please contact Wendy Bell, General Manager F D Marshall Ltd on office@fgmarshall.com
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Matt Black has been a licensed funeral director and embalmer in the State of Pennsylvania for over 20 years. He represents The Dodge Company in Central and Western Pennsylvania. In addition to being a graduate of the Pittsburgh Institute of Science, Matt also holds degrees in Bio-Medical Engineering Technology and Industrial Management.
Under the Blanket By Matt Black
W
hile I was making my rounds visiting funeral homes, a funeral director invited me into the preparation room and asked, “How much time do other embalmers/funeral directors spend on the hands? I see a lot of colleagues who just place the hands under the blanket or hide them with flowers or other memorabilia. This is almost every viewing, not just difficult cases. Damn, I must just be getting old.” I was surprised because I recently had a similar conversation with a fellow Dodge representative as well as an email from a funeral director asking about techniques on the hands before embalming. This conversation and inquiry left us wondering why some funeral directors are content to just cover those discoloured or emaciated hands with the blanket. If we settle for covering the loved one’s hands with the blanket what story are we missing? A friend of mine manages a machine shop. He often laments his “dirty” hands, but I know that he is actually proud of those symbols of hard work. If he died unexpectedly, I would never dream of covering his hands because they may appear soiled nor would I scrub them to an unnaturally clean extent for him. Additionally, covering the hands rather than restoring a natural appearance will cause the viewing public to use their imagination and wonder what we are hiding 44 | FuneralTimes
from them. We have the knowledge and the opportunities to show our abilities. Sadly, what we frequently lack is the desire. That wedding ring on the left hand and stains from years of smoking on the right hand speak volumes. It is our responsibility to help those stories to be heard. In September of 2004 our funeral home had the honour to serve the family of two brothers aged 22 and 25 who tragically died in a high speed automobile accident. These young men had been out for a bachelor party traveling with two friends who perished as well. The impact of the crash sliced the car in half, leaving the front and rear sections about 100 feet apart according to the State Police. These two brothers had been in the back seat. The Coroner and State Police had already spoken with the family and conveyed to them that the severity of the trauma their loved ones had suffered would mandate a closed casket farewell. Both parents expressed to me and the owner of the funeral home that they had to see their babies. After multiple discussions with the family, we agreed that seeing the boys would allow them the physical closeness that they required to say goodbye to their beloved sons. As a practical matter for any funeral director in this situation or any similar situation, a “Hold Harmless Agreement” is an absolute must. Your family will be
afforded the needed opportunity for a goodbye while you and your firm are protected from any claims brought against you for mental anguish suffered from viewing a victim of trauma. Honestly, I wasn’t prepared for the task of preparing and dressing an un-embalmed body. We also did not consider what a trauma like this does to the hands of the deceased. Seemingly endless hours were employed cleaning every millimeter of the hands, removing glass and other foreign items, and doing the necessary nail treatments. At last we were ready for restoration using wax and an airbrush for cosmetic application. Because the boys had not been embalmed some of these restoration techniques became more difficult. A great product for sealing small abrasions and allowing for the wax to stick to the compromised area is Pore Closer. Pore Closer has many uses. It restores the natural surface when skin is broken. It adheres to un-embalmed or embalmed tissue to seal and provide natural contour and is a great
base for cosmetic application. Pore Closer acts as its own solvent so one layer works best. To this day I can see the mother and father walking in to see their boys. The hug and thank you were all we needed. Was it perfect? Certainly not. A perfect situation would not have put these grieving parents in this place. But the parents were able to say goodbye. Mom sat there for hours holding each boy’s hands. We do everything with our hands. Think of how people express themselves with their hands while communicating. A lack of hand gestures can be perceived as indifference. Psychologytoday.com says that when people speak without any hand gestures it means that they don’t care, and hands that are hidden or can’t be seen shows a lack of trustworthiness. For many, the hands say as much as spoken words. A colleague recently shared the following experience with me. He and his wife attended the viewing and funeral for a friend’s elderly mother. She was a matriarch of the church, there was a sizeable crowd
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and the line moved slowly. After speaking with the family, they approached the casket. The casket spray was phenomenal. First class all the way. But upon viewing their friend’s mother, the only thing that stuck in my friend’s mind was, “Her fingernails match her purple dress and she doesn’t have fingernail polish applied!” Without a doubt, they were not the only ones in attendance to notice the lack of attention to the hands. We have noticed dirty fingernails, emaciated hands that could have been built up with Feature Builder, blue and discoloured fingertips, bruises, discoloured tissue, non-manicured or untrimmed jagged nails, dried blood, hands that were not adequately embalmed and of course, hands that were completely hidden with the blanket. Why spend hours on pre/ post embalming techniques and cosmetic application of the face, only to give the hands the most superficial attention? Look closely at your own hands. You will notice the roundness of the fingertips, the colour variations, scars, the shape of fingernails, fleshy or bony areas, etc. When 46 | FuneralTimes
we utilize our technical skill, shouldn’t it be our goal to recreate or enhance these details and provide a more natural appearance? This extra effort given to hands might give the family the comfort they need. This may be the difference between a wonderful memory and a failed memory for the family we serve. When does the proper care of the hands begin? Our responsibility begins at the time of transfer to your funeral home. Many funeral homes have adopted the use of mechanical devices to keep hands in an upward position for transport. An extremities positioner (Item No. 910157) is a favourite among many to keep the hands in an elevated position. Do we really want the hands to lay flat at the side of the deceased while they are on the transfer cot? This could cause discolouration, swelling, staining, and other post mortem conditions from blood pooling in these areas. Proper handling during transfer is an important factor in achieving the best results possible for viewing. Additionally, document all rings,
jewellery, and other valuables either retained with the decedent or returned to the family at the time of transfer. Miscommunication and non-documentation of all valuables can lead to lawsuits down the road. Always verify the intentions of the family if mechanically removing rings or jewelery from a loved one. With cremation, always double check jewellery to ensure that an embarrassing and costly mistake does not happen. In the prep room, a frequently overlooked step is a proper case analysis with a dedicated focus on the hands by the embalmer. The case analysis of hands is needed to determine the level of need for advanced techniques and procedures to treat common post mortem conditions of the hands including edema, emaciation, dehydration, skin slip, and post mortem discolouration. In any circumstance, disinfection with DisSpray should be the starting point for hand treatment. This could start even before, at the location of death prior to the transfer. After your initial disinfection with Dis-Spray a thorough washing of hands with Dodge Prep Soap is essential. We need to get rid of those nasties. Just a reminder: A study of 2000 people by Health Enews suggested that 26%-30% of the people had fecal material on their fingers. This same study found that one in six cell phones were contaminated with fecal material. Often overlooked are the stains and grime on the hands. It’s always wise to speak with the family before removing these stains and grime. We see stains from tobacco, grease, or the application of medical devices leaving tape residue on the hands. Medical tape can easily be removed with Dry Wash II. Please pay close attention to personal identity markings from the tobacco-stained fingers, or a mechanic’s dirty ground in grease on the fingers. The family could have special connections to these stains on the hands. My grandfather was a coal miner for 50 years. His hands always looked dirty. It would not have been his hands if they had been cleaned to perfection. It is easy to ask permission and then remove, but harm can be done by removing a well-known identifier.
Another frequent oversight in hand care is the dried blood, fecal material, grit, and other things that are often found under the nails and on the hands. Consider the survey of fecal material found on hands and phones, and just imagine if these surveys and studies had been performed at a nursing home facility or a hospital. This area under the fingernail can be a breeding ground for bacteria, odor, and a starting point of decomposition. This cleaning process can be performed with Dodge Prep Soap and a nail brush or hand brush. Another popular technique is using an orange stick or the tip of a nail file to remove debris from under the nail. When cleaning the debris from under the nails, take care not to damage or puncture the skin. Trimming and filing the fingernails is also important. Removing existing fingernail polish is recommended, unless the family objects, and may be done pre- or post-embalming. Nail polish can be removed with acetone or non-acetone remover, and Dry Wash II. An acetone base will remove those tough polishes more efficiently. A great technique to remove the glitter or gel coat polishes is to place a soaked cotton pad over the nail and wrap them with aluminum foil for a few minutes. This loosens the polish and it will be easier to remove. A fresh application of polish can be applied after embalming. The cuticles can be softened with Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative. They can be trimmed or pushed back with an orange stick. Since we did quite a bit of cleaning, disinfection, and manipulation of the hands, hopefully we have been breaking up any existing rigor mortis. Remaining rigor mortis may be relieved through repeated manipulation, flexing, and massaging of the hands, fingers, and wrist. Exercise caution when the skin on the hands is fragile. Spray the hands with Restorative or coat them with Kalon Massage Cream prior to any manipulation. Areas of broken skin not treated with Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative may tend to become dehydrated or leathery. The edges of these broken skin areas become dry and inflexible. Conditioning these areas with these FuneralTimes | 47
products will help prevent unwanted skin tears. Common sense reminds us to avoid excessive manipulation of the hand that may damage capillaries and cause swelling during arterial injections or even tear the fragile skin. An important reminder: relieving rigor mortis should always be accomplished in a dignified manner. Better distribution and drainage can be expected during your arterial injection. The manipulation of the hands and arms will lead to a more natural hand posture and position. Positioning the hands is normally determined by your local funeral home customs. For example, if it is customary in your area that the hands are relaxed but cupped, you can achieve this by using either a dampened towel or paper towels. Simply ball up the towel or paper towels and place them in the cupped hands. This eliminates the “straight as a board,” flat appearance that we have all seen. It is an unnatural look and can be eliminated easily. Unfortunately, we have all noticed an unnatural spreading of the fingers at some point. When the fingers are spread wide apart, a flat, unnatural palm and awkward appearing hand will result. A favourite technique to use prior to embalming when the fingers do not want to cooperate and spread wide apart is to tear 2” long strips of Webril as bandage wrap. These bandages, wrapped around the fingers, will hold them into the desired position. It’s advisable to dampen these strips with water or spray Restorative on them. Avoid pinching the skin, creating unnatural folds in the skin or making indentations from the Webril bandage wrap. Using Restorative on the Webril bandage wraps will help control this problem. Keep this bandaging in place during the embalming process. It is advisable to replace these Webril bandage strips to help control the spreading fingers during and after embalming. Hopefully the embalming process will fixate the fingers into the nonspread position. As we know, not all arterial chemicals fixate at the same speed. Another option for 48 | FuneralTimes
unnatural spreading of the fingers prior to embalming is using a small amount of Aron Alpha between the fingers. The best location for this small amount of Aron Alpha is around the knuckle area close to the palm. Place the Aron Alpha and hold the hands in position. This technique can be used, with caution, if used at the end of the embalming procedure. It is recommended to apply Kalon Massage Cream or Restorative to all the tissue of the hands. Both products work well. This article is intended to focus on the importance of the viewable hands. The loved one’s hands play an important part in creating a natural appearance in the open casket or in an ID viewing. This effort to restore the hands will pay off as we aim to satisfy the needs of a grieving family. While reviewing obituaries in a local newspaper recently I was struck by the number of notices that mentioned private services and no viewing Additionally, I saw the notices that announced where a luncheon or similar function would be held. No one ever said that death is easy and nothing we do as funeral professionals will make it so. But if we dedicate ourselves to devoting the time and effort needed to create a positive “goodbye” experience, we may be able to encourage our families to consider those viewings and services rather than, “Let’s do lunch.” If you would like to be added to the mailing list for the complementary Dodge Magazine which is printed quarterly or would like to discuss any of the products mentioned in this article, please contact us on the number below: Shepherds Funeral Supplies, Unit 2A Royal Canal Business Park, Athlone Road, Co. Longford. Ph. 00353 43 33 49702/00353 87 2486668
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Quinn’s win Best Business Premises 3 years running Quinn’s Funeral Home was named Best Business Premises in the Dundalk Looking Good Awards for the third year in a row at the annual presentation night in October. The award, judged on how the premises are presented in terms of tidiness, upkeep and floral displays, is part of an initiative of Louth County Council to promote a colourful and vibrant retail, hospitality and residential environment in the town.
Left Gerard and Right Annette Quinn receiving their award from Cllr. Emma Coffey 50 | FuneralTimes
Quinn’s were complimented by the judges on their ever expanding displays which have become a staple of the area and impact positively on the sentiment of residents towards their locality. Quinn’s are already planning next years displays as they try to retain their crown.
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SAIF NEWS ... SAIF NEWS ... SAIF Membership Many funeral directors are seeing the benefit of joining SAIF - the only Trade Association specifically for Independent Funeral Directors. SAIF has seen a rise in membership in 2019, currently with over 935 members. Please feel assured that as our membership grows the dedication to each member remains the same. We aim to answer your queries and concerns without delay and the support given to each member is as strong as it has always been. As a reminder the key benefits of membership are: • Dispute Resolution Scheme: a complaints procedure, investigation and, if required, resolution scheme giving extra confidence to your client • Events: including an annual banquet weekend, regional meetings and online training • HR Resource Centre: Members of SAIF can access advice through the members’ areas of the website, and book telephone appointments at SAIF Business Centre. • NEXTGen: Have created several platforms for all its members to have a supporting body of likeminded business people who also share the stresses and strains of being “The future leaders of their businesses” • Professional Indemnity Insurance: standard inclusion at no extra cost • Quality Assurance Inspections: regular inspections with guidance on correct procedures, protocol and best practice
• SAIF Acquisition: An introduction agency for any independent owners who wish to consider selling their business to another independent, so that their name is safeguarded with common vision and values. • SAIF Business Centre: a friendly, efficient team to help with any enquiry • SAIFCharter: financial incentives for members who exclusively sell Golden Charter Funeral Plans • SAIF Helpline: free help with tax and legal advice • SAIFInsight: monthly magazine (print and online) to keep you up to date with industry news and views • SAIF Logo: for all stationery and advertising material, demonstrating to members of the public that you are a respected professional • SAIF Members Website: featuring downloadable templates, guidance notes and webinars, along with details of the SAIF AGM, regional meetings and education days • Unrivalled knowledge: access to SAIF officers and an Executive with a vast range of funeral directing experience across the UK In addition to various discounted services and support.
If you would like more information about joining SAIF and being able to access benefits including Professional Indemnity Insurance, please don’t hesitate to contact the SAIF Business Centre; we are only a phone call away and will be happy to help.
Tel: 0345 230 6777 or visit SAIF.org.uk FuneralTimes | 53
SAIF AGM / Banquet Weekend 13th - 15th March 2020 – Grand Hotel, Glasgow
B
ookings for next year’s Banquet weekend are now open and places can be booked by visiting the SAIF website https://saif.org. uk/events/saif-agm-banquet-weekend-13th to15th-march-2020/ We would urge our members who wish to attend to book as soon as possible, especially if looking to stay at the Grand Hotel due to number allocation. To book your accommodation contact the hotel direct on T:0141 240 3700, advising that you are attending the SAIF AGM. A credit/debit card will be taken as a guarantee but guests will pay on departure with free cancellation up to 4 weeks before the event. Friday 13th March Double Occupancy Bed & Breakfast £155.00 per room Single Occupancy Bed & Breakfast £145.00 per room
The Grand Central Hotel, Glasgow Saturday 14th March Double Occupancy Bed & Breakfast £155.00 per room Single Occupancy Bed & Breakfast £145.00 per room For those that book the Saturday lunch and Banquet there is a £5 discount.
Christmas opening times Over the Christmas period the SAIF Business Centre opening times will be: Monday 23rd December 9.00 – 17.00 Tuesday 24th December 9.00 – 16.00 Friday 27th December 10.00 – 14.00 Monday 30th December 10.00 – 14.00 Tuesday 31st December 10.00 – 14.00 Normal hours from Thursday 2nd January 2020
From all at SAIF Business Centre we wish all our SAIF members and readers; a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 54 | FuneralTimes
Join the association that’s leading the way. Representing and promoting the interests of 850 independent funeral directors. SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you. As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment. For over 25 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.
Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726 777
FuneralTimes | 55
“The pain passes but the beauty remains” - Pierre August Renoir
A
s we wind down towards the end of another year, for many it is a time for looking back and reflecting on ones' achievements and goals that were reached. For many, as we head towards Christmas, memories flood back of a lost loved one who was a part of our lives this time last year. Death is part of life. We all know that, yet many of us are unprepared for it. And as funeral professionals, death comes to our door too! And trying to put on a brave face in front of fellow colleagues isn’t always the answer, and for others continuing to work only masks our grief – even harder as we are asked to shoulder other families pain as we try and cope with our own. The month of November is traditionally a time when many groups and organisations hold remembrance services for lost family, friends, or work colleagues, and over the years I have been asked to lead some of these services, this year being no exception. It is normal for light refreshments to be served after these ceremonies, and people would often approach me to talk about their own story and their loss. The questions most asked are “Will it ever stop hurting so much”? “Will we ever get over the grief ”? “Do we ever really heal after losing someone we loved”?” Some debated the often cited notion that time heals all wounds. The wounds that were brought into their lives were large, deep gashes, raw, and too tender to touch. It was nearly impossible for most of those I spoke with that night to imagine a time when the pain would ever be bearable. The death of their loved one turned their hearts 56 | FuneralTimes
inside out, and their lives upside down. One person commented that trying to cope with their grief was nearly worse than the death. The American John Pavlovitz describes grief as: “Grief doesn’t just visit you for a holiday. It moves in, puts down roots, and it never leaves. Yet as time passes, eventually the tidal waves subside for longer periods, but they inevitably come crashing in again without notice, when you are least prepared. With no warning they devastate the landscape of your heart all over again, leaving you bruised, breathless and needing to rebuild once more” There is no quick fix for grief. We learn to live with it, and as funeral professionals, we need to be aware of the various stages of grief (Denial, Anger; Depression; Acceptance). The stages of grief and mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life, across many cultures. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being. All people grieve differently. Some people will wear their emotions on their sleeve and be outwardly emotional. Others will experience their grief more internally, and may not cry. You should try and not judge how a person experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently. The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. ‘As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life’ By Padraic Cawley
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New from Fearghas R. Gibneydelivery of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral Directors, collectsQuinn his new hearse from Fearghas Hearse&and Limousines. PQuinn McGennity Sons Funeral Directors, Newry, acquiring a new build E-Class 5 door hearse from Quinn Hearse & Limousine FuneralTimes | 57
Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn. Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly. We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.
For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie 58 | FuneralTimes
New delivery from Fearghas Quinn R. Gibney of Gibneys of Oldcastle Funeral Directors, collects his new hearse from Fearghas
Jim Glancy, Carrick-on-Shannon, receives his 3 door E-Class hearse, coachbuilt by Quinn Quinn Hearse and Limousines. Hearse & Limousine
Treasured Keepsakes
would like to thank you all for your support throughout 2019 and wish everyone A Very Happy Christmas and Best Wishes for 2020!
Liza Webster FuneralTimes | 59
Dr Bill Webster
Anticipating Christmas T
he Christmas season is already upon us with all the ads promoting what is required, or at least “suggested”, for the most wonderful time of the year. Although this will be the second Christmas since my son Steve died, I already know that it will not be so wonderful for me and others in our family. We have come to fully realise that he is really gone… but that doesn’t stop us missing him. I am sad that he will not be there to receive the traditional “socks and underwear” I always teased was all that was under the tree for him. There were many other gifts over the years, of course, but always those socks and underwear brought the greatest expressions of glee. So I am not really looking forward to it. And I suspect I am not alone in that. Bereaved people often seem to struggle more with the Christmas season than any other; but also people in hospital themselves or watching a loved one struggle with illness; people who are travelling or working away from home; those who are incarcerated; or the aging person in the nursing home who knows that they may get a quick visit for an hour from family and that will be it. It’s a miserable place to be in the season to be jolly! But, what can I do to anticipate the season and try to make it as meaningful as possible in the circumstances?
1. Prepare: Get ready for it • Recognize that THIS Christmas is different. Be realistic. This may not be the 60 | FuneralTimes
best Christmas ever, but what can you do to make it meaningful. • Plan ahead and decide what you would like to do. Re-examine your priorities and what would be really important for you. Remember, you are the expert on you. • Make the changes you think best. Maybe gift cards or Amazon could take away the stress of shopping. 2. Perform: Go through with it • Be proactive. Take responsibility for your own happiness. Don’t wait for others to make the decisions as to what you should do. Maybe someone will but maybe not. Let people know what you want to do and what you need this season. • Let yourself feel the feelings that you have. It takes much more energy to pretend that you are fine and everything is OK than to let others know that you are having a struggle. • Try to relive happy memories of the life. Think back on other, better Christmas’. Sure I am going to miss my son this year, but I had him for 42 Christmas’ and I wouldn’t have missed that, even if I had known that losing him would hurt so much. Try to celebrate the life as well as commemorating the death. Acknowledge the person’s presence. Create a special tribute… maybe I could buy some socks and underwear for a homeless person. Steve would like that. • Find a quiet spot to remember all the good things about the person you are missing.
• Go and do something that you used to do together. • Share some of the memories with friends or in a support group. • Go on vacation to a warmer climate for a week … that will not change the situation, but it will give you a respite. It is said that 10 minutes in the sun enhances your vitamin D levels. • Go for a walk, listen to music, go shopping, have a massage, or hang out with friends. Do something … anything. Do one thing today, then maybe one more thing, and before you know you will feel better about yourself if not the situation. • Above all, set differences aside. Even if there has been tension in the family, Christmas should not be used as a weapon to score points or get even. 3. Proceed: Go on after it • Always remember the words of Christopher Robin, who famously said to his friend Winnie the Pooh: “If ever
there is a day we are not together, always remember. You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.” • So, decide where you would like to be in your journey next year at this time. Set some goals for your future. • Find the blessing in every opportunity and every person you still have in your life. • Celebrate what you have as well as regretting what you’re missing. • Trust that there will be brighter days ahead. I love this quote by Albert Camus: “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger, something better, pushing right back.”
First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process . He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process. This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life. First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon. FuneralTimes | 61
Eulogica on their growing International Team T
he UK and Ireland Eulogica team as well as the wider Eulogica International team has seen some new members come on board. These new team members have already been able to take part in events, strengthening bonds between the different country operations of Eulogica, exchanging information, and improving the knowledge and practice of the team. The newest member of the team - Michael Bedford, technical apprentice - values being a member of an international team. “Working in an international team has really helped me to settle in and get to grips with Eulogica. If you’re ever unsure about something or can’t think of a good solution to an unusual query, there is a wealth of knowledge and experience available.”
Pictured are Luke and Michael with Eulogica’s Netherlands Country Manager, Laura de Waal, during a recent international training event Luke Jones, who joined the UK and Ireland team as a client support technician in spring 2018, also appreciates the international viewpoint. “Having a variety of different perspectives to look at questions and think about projects clearly helps us find the best solution. We’re able to compare best practises across a number of countries and use this to build the strongest solution and system possible. It’s also great to have other people to bounce ideas off when you need a fresh set of eyes on something.” For more information on Eulogica software please visit their website: www.eulogica.com.
From all the team, we would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 62 | FuneralTimes
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US National Funeral Directors Association Expo By Jennifer Muldowney
With over 28 miles of shoreline and more than 2,000 hot dog stands, Chicago was an interesting choice for this years US National Funeral Directors Association Expo
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n oxygen bar, massage station and even a puppy parlor made for an enjoyable experience for funeral professionals from all over the globe to convene. One could spend an entire day on the expo floor checking out all the freebies, albeit these were offerings from the exhibitors and not the NFDA Convention itself who, in previous years, held cocktail hours, free lunches and handed out free knick knacks at every turn. This year beer and pretzels with cheese dip, free wine and cheese tastings, and the famous Garrett Popcorn were offered as enticement into booths. I personally do think these ‘gimmicks’ work but they need to be thought through. We went up to one exhibit and pulled at a Fortune Wheel to win a cruise (which, plot twist.. we didn’t win!) and we walked away not having any idea what the brand or business was. Now, I also cannot stand the pouncing on you the second you browse past a booth. A colleague and I were unfortunate enough to pause for a catch up beside a gentleman’s booth and he promptly
interrupted us Pause for Paws and without apology their four-legged friends and even when proved to be the most we tried to popular booth continue our conversation after politely answering him, he plundered on with his sales pitch. Finding the balance is key. The most popular booth by far at the show was Pause for Paws who provided cuddles and snuggles with therapy dogs. Ultimate Canine is an award wining, internationally recognized company that provide therapy dogs, service dogs and family dogs to people all across America. So, aside from eating my weight in deep dish Chicago style pizza, I was there to learn.
Seth Godin gave a motivational speech
One of the many exhibitors FuneralTimes | 65
One of my favourite moments, other than listening to the fabulous and incredibly motivational Seth Godin speak, was the video featuring a number of funeral directors talking about the aftermath of topics we sadly see all too often in the media these days - mass shootings and terrorism. Not something I had even considered or dealt with, but a very real reality when a community is shaken to its core. Check out the NFDA Instagram page to see the video. Another great takeaway was the NFDA initiative of the ‘Remembering A Life’ self care box which contains a carefully curated collection of items to help a grieving individual find relaxation, reflection and remembrance following the death of a loved one. Containing a grief journal, memory jar, a candle, an oil roller, rose quartz stone, water bottle and dragonfly keyring. While it definitely won’t be for everyone and I know some people may even find offense in some of the contents, I do think a care box is a lovely addition for a funeral home to give to
66 | FuneralTimes
Garrett Popcorn stood out from the norm grieving clients they think would appreciate its contents. Remembering a Life is online and a quick Google Search will bring any funeral director worldwide to its wide and varied content. Definitely worth a quick search!
sales@obit.ie
Obit Q&A
www.obit.ie
c 2019 Lytesoft
For this edition, we asked Tom Lawless of Lawless Funeral Directors, Tullamore, Co. Offaly who started using Obit in October 2016 - Tom was the first Funeral Director to sign up for Obit (aside from launch customer Griffin’s).
Q: What do you see as the main benefits of Obit for your business? A: It’s very easy to use. I am able to give estimates to clients quickly. Obit gives me a history of all my records. I used to do invoices on a monthly basis and had to try and remember what I had done. Now I record the information that evening. I can print out envelopes for Clergy, Musicians etc. When I receive payments I can record them. Especially at this time of year I can have information available for my accountant. I have Obit integrated with my website so that I can publish the obituary on my website and show the connection to church webcams. Also because of Obit, I now have a Funeral archive on my website for people to look back on in years to come. Obit gives me all
the info I need in one place, e.g. finding graves, payments, if new or repeat business, invoices, receipts and many more. The cost of the service is unbelievable, not expensive at all. Q: What functions or areas would you like to see Obit develop more? A: As I am using Obit I find more and more functions available. It has been constantly improving. Q: How do you rate the support by Lytesoft for Obit? A: The support I get from Lytesoft for Obit is fantastic. There is constant communication. The willingness to help is overwhelming. I can’t recommend them enough. FuneralTimes | 67
Advantages of Ageing and “Do you know what I’m goin’ to tell you?” By Mattie Lennon
A man in the far side of Wicklow was murdered in the 1950s. There wasn’t much of a tradition of killing in the area and it came as a shock. Besides he was a very decent, inoffensive man and it was an absolute mystery why anyone would want to kill him. At his wake it leaked out that he had been looking after the biological needs of a neighbour’s wife and that the relationship was the cause of his demise. There was a man in the wake house who always had the same comment to
make about a tragedy. Be it a train crash in India, an earthquake in New Zealand, or a mass shooting in America he would always say, ”Do you know what I’m goin’ to tell you? It could have been worse.” This night was no different, and he made his usual comment when the bit of gossip was shared. One irritated mourner asked, “There’s a man dead, how could it have been worse?” The reply was unexpected, “Do you know what I’m goin’ to tell you? If it was last week it would have been me.”
Satirist, Oliver Callen, from Enniskeen is 39 but he has his epitaph ready, “Why are you in a f***ing graveyard reading this? Go home, enjoy yourself. And do no harm. Now get out, you’ll be stuck here long enough.”
Did I mention here before that Journalist Brenda Power suffers from taphophobia, (which, as you all know, is the fear of being buried alive)? Well, she has found a solution; “..as far as organ donation goes, I want the doctors to take whatever they can use. ..With heart, lungs and kidneys gone, I reckon, the chances of me waking up in the coffin are pretty slim.”
I can remember one morning when I was aged three. It was only one incident but I tend to be proud of it. I was boasting about my memory feat one night at a wake in Valleymount. The man next to me chimed in with “I remember since I was two” and a Ballinastockan man, not to be outdone, claimed that he could recall when he was eighteen months old. A man from Logstown, quietly sipping a bottle of stout in the corner, casually said, “I remember since before I was born.” The tranquillity of the house was disturbed by a chorus of, “How the %$&*^! Would you remember before you were born?” “Well “ says yer man as calm as you like, “I remember going to a marquee dance in Poulaphouca with my father and coming home with my mother.” “ When the Earl of Sandwich died they buried him in between two other guys.” David Corrado 68 | FuneralTimes
“The first sign of his approaching end was when one of my old aunts, when undressing him, removed a toe with one of his socks.” Graham Greene. A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. “What’s going on?” he asks a cemetery worker. “It’s Beethoven,” says the worker. “He’s decomposing.”
In The Last Dance the author, when referring to the approach to death in tribal societies, wrote, “The community is composed in its totality of both the living and the dead; in the rythym and flow of communal life, the individual - in death as in life - is a part of the whole.” It is that time of year when it was believed that the veil between this world and the next was drawn aside, and Irish people honoured the Holy Souls. Recently my favourite journalist, Billy Keane, was telling the customers in his pub how much he missed his late parents John B. and Mary. He wrote, “I concluded my talk
Mattie Lennon and Billy Keane with, ‘I’m fairly sure my mother and father are still here.” The Irish-American lady looked at me and said, ‘Billy, your Mom and Dad are still here. Why would they want to leave’?”
When my age appeared on Facebook recently a Wellwisher(?) sent me the following list of advantages of reaching my age; Kidnappers aren’t very interested in you. In a hostage situation, you will probably be released first. No one expects you to run into a burning building. Or run at all. People call at 9pm and ask, “Did I wake you?” People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There’s nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won’t wear out. You can eat dinner at 4pm You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations. You get into a heated argument about pension claims. You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realize it. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You sing along with the elevator music. Your eyes won’t get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. And you may not remember who gave you this list. However the main advantage, for me, is that the people I owe apologies to are all dead.
I would like to thank everyone for their continued support during 2019 and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Padraic Cawley
Civil Celebrant FuneralTimes | 69
The next regeneration
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BIE News Ireland Division Hi all, I hope everyone is keeping well. Following on from the last editorial I’m delighted to say we had a fantastic and productive meeting on October 13th in Glasnevin Cemetery with great attendance. The historical tour of the cemetery after the meeting was really enjoyed by all, but for anyone who missed it, we will be returning to Glasnevin in April 2020 where we will also have our National President Dr. Phil Gore in attendance. We have an extremely interesting itinerary lined up for 2020 including our AGM in January in University College Cork’s Anatomical Department, which
will also include an anatomical clinic. We also received a great response regarding the viewing of an autopsy. Please submit your interest at the next meeting so we can allocate numbers. I look forward to seeing everybody in Cork this January. This is the first clinic of it’s kind to be arranged for the division and should be extremely interesting and beneficial for everyone. Congratulations also to all who received their membership certificates on the day. We wish you all the very best for the future.
Cyril Gantley Chairman
Presentation of certificates
John O’Farrell receiving his certificate from Cyril Gantley 72 | FuneralTimes
Liam Attridge receiving his certificate from Cyril Gantley
Michael Desmond receiving his certificate from Cyril Gantley
Emma Jane Bainton receiving her certificate from Cyril Gantley
Northern Division Hi all, We the Northern Division held our last meeting on the 25th of September in Malcomson’s in Lurgan with good attendance and some new faces which was great to see. I myself would like to take this opportunity to thank Jim Erwin and Charlie Poots for the use of their funeral home and the lovely refreshments after our meeting, they made us all feel so welcome. We also had a short speech
from fellow member Victor Malcomson a wonderful example to the funeral industry. We had two demonstrations, the first from Lauren Montgomery MUA on beauty and applications of natural make up and info on skin products and the second William McGuckian from CPL Funeral Supplies showing the latest equipment to help in the embalming industry, thank you both.
Glasnevin Museum at Glasnevin Cemetery will host the next BIE meeting on October
Jim Erwin, Victor Malcomson, Seamus McLaughlin and Charlie Poots FuneralTimes | 73
We also presented two certificates to Christopher Wade and Anthony McDaid and we would like to welcome them into the B.I.E. We encouraged members to highlight any grey areas they would like us to address at the National Council Meeting. Our next meeting will be held in James Brown’s Funeral Home, Newtownards Road
on the 8th January at 7.30pm, we hope the National President will be in attendance. I would like to encourage as many members as possible to attend to highlight a schedule for the next incoming year.
Sea mus McLaughlin MBIE
Chairman
Presentation of certificates
Christopher Wade receiving his certificate from Seamus McLaughlin Seamus McLaughlin with Lauren Montgomery, MUA
74 | FuneralTimes
Anthony McDaid receiving his certificate from Seamus McLaughlin
List of BIE Officers and appointed representatives for 2019/2020 National President: Dr Phil Gore MBIE
Imm. Past President: Barbara Fowley MBIE
IRISH DIVISION Chairman Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile:00353 857671582 cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie
1st Vice President: Bobby Hopkin-Hoggarth MBIE
National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01332 349035(BIE) Mobile: 07786 432014 karencaney@btopenworld.com
National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 michael@silsloe.wanadoo.co.uk
Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 gwen@radcliffefs.co.uk
Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE
Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE
Secretary Susan Moran 20 Cedarwood Park, Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile:00353860619500 susan.moran@mortuary-science.ie
National Council Rep Pamela Murphy MBIE 14 Parknasillogue Court, Enniskerry, Co.Wicklow Mobile:00353 857415421
2nd National Council Rep and Treasurer John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co.Cork Mobile: 00353 876390087 jmhawe@eircom.net
NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Seamus McLaughlin MBIE 904 Glenshane Road, Dungiven Co L’Derry BT47 4SB TEL : 07747 046084 Email: info@ mclaughlinfuneraldirectors.com
Vice Chairman Pat Harley MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’Derry BT48 9DA TEL: 07712 899137 Email:phschoolofembalming@ hotmail.com 1st National Council Representative Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 Email: oneill8210@hotmail.com 2nd National Council Representative Ellison Sloan MBIE Tel: 02838336175 Email: poots@fsni.info Treasurer Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co Antrim BT53 6AQ Email: andrew@ mcmullanfunerals.com Secretary Liz Douglas M B I E 3 Rathlin Crest, Ballymena BT43 5JA Tel: 07483 178508 Email: izzydouglas31@gmail.com 1st Educational Representative Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road Belfast TEL: 02890451021 Email: jamesbrownandsons@ fsni.info Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE FuneralTimes | 75
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A Tale of Two Funerals
wo funerals were held recently, both in Dublin, both for ladies who were nearly 80, each of whom had families and grandchildren, and both of which were organised by the grandchildren but that’s where the similarity ends. The lives the ladies had lived couldn’t have been more different. One was born in Dublin and lived in Dublin all her life, never travelling further than Bray. The second was born in Malaysia, came to study in Dublin and spent the rest of her life travelling between Europe and Asia. One left school at a young age, the other was highly educated, both died on the same day at the same age and both had expressed a wish for a non-religious or civil funeral. Mary Elizabeth Dillon of Civil Funerals Ireland was the organiser and celebrant for both funerals and she shares her thoughts. I was contacted on a Monday by the funeral directors involved and was asked to take one funeral on Wednesday and the other Thursday. On the Monday I met with both families individually. Both funerals were being co-ordinated by grandchildren and in this instance the young people rose to the challenge admirably and were a complete pleasure to work with. Having explained how a civil funeral works, we began to
put together the service. Both families chose very different music which reflected appropriately the differences in the lives of the ladies. One had music from the musicals while the other had classical music from Japan and Korea. One family asked Mary Elizabeth to do all the speaking while the other asked her to briefly introduce each speaker and just say the Thank Yous at the end. Both used poems, one which they had written themselves and the other chose a poem from a selection which Mary Elizabeth presented to them. At the end of the services, which had been very different in content, both families expressed their appreciation of the thoughtful and individual nature of the service. It all goes to show how flexible a civil service can be. It is not a structure which the family must fit the service for their loved one into, rather the celebrant fits the service around the wishes and desires of the people she is working with. Mary Elizabeth concludes, this is not a situation where ‘one size fits all’, rather civil services are tailored to each individual and no matter how similar situations may seem at the outset there is always going to be room for individuality.
Civil Funerals Ireland Simple, unique, personal funeral services
• An alternative to the traditional • Celebrating Life • Reflecting the wishes and beliefs of the deceased and their loved ones • Provides an opportunity to pay a fitting tribute • Any suitable venue can be used
Mary Elizabeth Dillon is available between 9am - 11pm 7 days a week Tel ROI: 0402 91273 / Mobile: 087 957 4476 Email: info@civilfuneralsireland.com
Funerals conducted throughout Ireland
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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke
Recognising and Dealing with Stress We feel stress when we are under too much emotional or mental pressure. Stress is an instinctive reaction in the body designed to give short bursts of heightened energy or awareness, such as the “fight or flight” reaction to help us confront or run away from danger. Nowadays, the body experiences stress due to worries about work, relationships, money, and health. Bereavement is particularly stressful, and as Christmas approaches this can be a sensitive and challenging time for many families. Being stressed can result in increased blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes, so it’s essential to recognise the warning signs and take some positive steps to cope. The first step in managing stress is to realise when things are starting to get too much. Physical early warning signs: • Insomnia and sleep disturbances • Fatigue • Muscle tension and pain • Heart palpitations • Stomach upset and gastrointestinal problems • Breathlessness without exertion • Headaches • Weakened immune system which can result in more coughs and colds. Psychological early warning signs: • Inability to focus and concentrate • Loss of sense of humour • High levels of anxiety and worry • Constant irritability towards others • Withdrawal from social contact • Lack of motivation to get things done There are many ways to cope with stress but here are some of the top ways to deal with it. 1. Good Mood Foods - There are certain foods that can improve our mood. Foods containing folic acid can help reduce blood pressure. Good sources are green leafy veg, spinach, broccoli, and avocado. Foods containing magnesium which helps regulate blood pressure and cholesterol can be found in seeds, 78 | FuneralTimes
bananas, bean salads and avocados – again! Antidepression and anxiety calming tryptophan is found in turkey, chicken and tuna. Food can also produce endorphins which block pain and help with depression and are naturally found in dark chocolate and hot chillies. 2. Exercise - As well as its benefits for your general health, exercise is highly effective in reducing stress. It improves blood-flow to the brain, helping you think more clearly. Exercise is also another great way to release endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and feel-good hormones. 3. Get enough rest and sleep - Taking a rest doesn’t just mean not doing anything. Rest can happen when you focus on leisure time activities such as – your hobbies, holidays, sport – this counterbalances work and everyday stresses. And don’t forget you need sleep for energy, good concentration and general health. Chronic sleepdeprivation can affect your performance at work and in general, which can be a key factor in raising stress levels. 4. Relaxation - A good relaxation technique is an anti-stress weapon that you always carry with you, to help deal with any stressful situation as it arises. Make relaxation a regular part of your daily routine. 5. Seek professional help if you need it OTHER SUPPORT - If you feel that despite all your efforts stress is getting the better of you, remember there are lots of people who can help. Please seek the help of your GP. For more information about Stress and ways to cope with it, please go to - nichs.org.uk/yourhealth/how-to-keep-healthy/healthy-ways-tocope-with-stress
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Quality Personalised Memorial Products • Memorial Cards • Wallet Cards (Card or Plastic) • Bookmarks • Acknowledgement Cards • Mass/Order of Service Booklets For more information contact UK 028/ROI 048 3835 5060 E: production@inhousepublications.com or see what our customers think www.memorial-printing.com/testimonials
CUNNINGHAM M E M OR IA L S • New Memorials • Renovations • Inscriptions
07714 268116 cunninghammemorials @hotmail.co.uk
FOR SALE 171 Ford Mondeo Hearse • Built by Pierce Coachbuilders • Diesel • Double deck • Excellent condition • 35,000km
Price on Application Contact: Robert Gabriel, Bandon Tel: 087 2514210
PATRICK RYAN & DAUGHTER FUNERAL DIRECTORS SPECIALISING IN REPATRIATION TO ALL PARTS OF IRELAND
TEL: 020 8567 1664 FAX: 020 8566 4795 6 South Ealing Road, London W5 4QA Email: office@pryanfunerals.com Website: PATRICK-RYAN.CO.UK COVERING LONDON AND THE HOME COUNTIES FuneralTimes | 79
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• Provincewide service available • Experienced Drivers
MERCEDES LIMOUSINES MERCEDES S CLASS MERCEDES MPV MERCEDES HEARSE AVAILABLE
JBFS
For enquiries please conact James on
Mob: 077 3428 3181/Tel: 028 3884 9151 or visit: www.jamesbartonfuneralservices.co.uk or email: jamesbarton75@gmail.com
FOR SALE 2010 Ford Mondeo Hearse
• Quinn Built • 63k Miles • 2.3 Petrol - Automatic • Taxed & N.C.T.’d
Frank Keogh & Sons Funeral Repatriation Services
Woodbrook, Bray Co.Wicklow
Price on Application
Telephone:
For more information contact Gerard Tel: 087 2205075
ROI - 086 8440208 NI - 00353 86 8440208
80 | FuneralTimes
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Scottish Repatriation Service
2014 Mercedes Hearse
Any time, any place, anywhere, day or night! Specialising in and out of Scotland & Ireland, call now for a competitive quote on:
T: 01294 552213/273939
• Duffy built, 5 door • Diesel 2L - glass roof • As new, one owner - 47,000Km
Price on Application Heffernans Funeral Directors, Trim Niall 086 8208501 Aidan 086 2551396
Family Run Funeral Directors PART OF THE BENNETTS GROUP
• All paperwork and third party fees arranged • One to one personal service • Silver Funeral Fleet available for Hire
FOR SALE
CHRYSLER 300C HEARSE
• • • •
Mercedes 3.0L V6 Diesel Engine Retractable Decking Excellent Condition • 55,000 miles Available for Immediate sale PRICE ON APPLICATION
For more information please contact Stephen at Colliers Funeral Directors, Bray on Tel: 01 2720777 FuneralTimes | 81
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FOR SALE
FOR SALE
2007 Ford Mondeo Hearse
2009 MERCEDES COLEMAN MILNE HEARSE
• 2.0L Petrol • 90,761 km • Excellent condition • NCT until October 2020
Price on Application For more information contact Tel: 087 2989270
• • • • •
5 Door E220 CDI Diesel 40,500 Miles Very Good Condition Available Jan 2020 Price on Application
Contact Michael: 07515 746541
Matthew L. Jones • Plain black slipover • Available in black, charcoal and navy • Heavy guage • Delivery pre Christmas
€50
For further information contact Paul Foley on Tel. 087 675 7532 Email: info@thedirectorscut.ie 82 | FuneralTimes
FUNERAL REPATRIATION SERVICE • South Wales based • 24 Hour removal & repatriation service • Long & short distance throughout UK & Ireland • Inclusive of airports & ferry ports • B.I.E qualified embalming service • Also Hearse & Limousine hire available
Mobile: 07815 866 652 Tel: 01267 236 787 (24hrs) email: info@funeralservices.wales www.funeralservices.wales
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