Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.
Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.
FIND YOUR LOCAL CELEBRANT
Michael Conlon 07494 505033
Joan Davis 07546 954222
Ian Deboys 07368 440040
Máire De Buitléar 07841 860276
Terri Gilleece 07801418492
Avril Hawthorne 07854 436914
Stewart Holden 07971 634098
Janni Knox 07890 861690
humanists.uk/ce remonies
Richard Lavery 07802 839543
Michael McAlinden 07305 892201
Mar yLou McShane 07962 906236
Trevor Molloy 07549 946622
Rachel Smith 07957 474643
Declan Walsh 07859 816585
Lisa Wilkinson 07759 514139
The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland
L UCAN/NEWLANDS ROAD, LUCAN VILLAGE, CO . DUBLIN.
DUBLIN’S NEWEST CEMETERY
Within Esker Lawn Cemeter y we have numerous options from which to choose: from traditional burial plots; ash burial or inter ment plots; to columbarium walls, all of which can be purchased in advance of need.
A LIMITED NUMBER OF BURIAL PL OT S AND ASH INTERMENT OPTIONS ARE AV AILABLE TO PRE-PURCHASE IN ADV ANCE OF NEED
Great attention to detail has been paid by our craftsmen to create an environment in which family members can visit www.EskerLawnCemetery.com
End-of-life planning for LGBTQ+ people: Entheos and the Ember Guidelines
Karen Dempsey, founder and director of Entheos, recently addressed the launch of the Ember Guidelines, a project in collaboration with the Irish Hospice Foundation, the All Ireland Institute of Hospice and Palliative Care, and LGBT Ireland. Entheos, known for its inclusive ceremonies outside traditional faith paths, is committed to providing meaningful, personalized end-of-life services for LGBTQ+ communities.
One of Entheos’s key initiatives is the “Died With Pride” team—a group of LGBTQ+ celebrants who specialize in creating funeral services that honor the lives and identities of LGBTQ+ individuals. “Every individual deserves care and support that reflects their unique personality and approach to life,” said Dempsey, “and an end-of-life phase that celebrates the gifts they brought to the world and the legacy they leave behind.”
The event’s highlight was the introduction of the Ember Guidelines, a resource designed
to assist LGBTQ+ individuals in planning their end-of-life care. “We believe in openness and transparency, and this naturally extends to death and planning,” Dempsey noted. The guidelines offer practical support, ensuring that LGBTQ+ individuals and their families can access end-of-life planning aligned with their
At the event, James O’Hagan from LGBT Ireland expressed the importance of these resources for the LGBTQ+ community, noting that mainstream health services have not always accommodated LGBTQ+ identities. Paula O’Reilly, CEO of the Irish Hospice Foundation, echoed these sentiments, affirming the importance of compassion and dignity in end-of-life care for all.
For Dempsey, the commitment to LGBTQ+ inclusivity in funeral services is personal. She recalled instances where openly gay individuals were laid to rest in traditional settings due to cultural expectations, observing that Ireland’s quick funeral process can sometimes lead families to default to familiar traditions. This gap in understanding highlights the need for tailored services that genuinely honor LGBTQ+ identities and experiences, especially during the emotionally charged endof-life period.
The Ember Guidelines are inspired by a wide range of international resources, reinterpreted specifically for Ireland. “We sifted through every chapter and rewrote everything into a specifically Irish context,” Dempsey explained. These guidelines provide practical, culturally relevant insights, making them a valuable tool for individuals and families navigating end-oflife care.
Notably, the guidelines address testamentary guardianship and expedited gender recognition for terminally ill transgender individuals.
Testamentary guardianship helps LGBTQ+ parents ensure their children are legally protected, while expedited Gender Recognition guidance enables transgender people to have their gender correctly reflected on their death certificates. These are critical, affirming actions that help LGBTQ+ individuals and families uphold dignity and authenticity at the end of life.
Why the Ember Guidelines Matter to Funeral Directors
For funeral directors, the Ember Guidelines are more than just guidance—they represent a comprehensive approach to meeting the unique needs of LGBTQ+ individuals. Funeral directors are often central to families’ grief journeys, helping them make difficult choices. By integrating the Ember Guidelines, directors can ensure that their services fully respect the identities and preferences of LGBTQ+ individuals.
One reason the Ember Guidelines are especially relevant to funeral professionals is that they address unique legal, social, and familial challenges that LGBTQ+ families may face. For example, the guidelines’ section on testamentary guardianship helps funeral directors support LGBTQ+ parents with clarity and empathy. Additionally, guidelines on gender recognition ensure that transgender individuals’ identities are honored on official documents,
a deeply meaningful aspect of affirming their lives.
The guidelines also help funeral directors navigate complex family dynamics, especially in cases where family members may not fully accept the deceased’s identity. By following the guidelines, directors can offer compassionate guidance that aligns with the deceased’s wishes and respects their chosen family and community.
In Ireland’s rapid funeral process, the Ember Guidelines allow funeral directors to offer LGBTQ+ families a more organized and respectful experience. This enables families to create ceremonies that reflect their loved one’s life and values while establishing trust between funeral professionals and the LGBTQ+ community.
In conclusion, Dempsey celebrated the Ember Guidelines as part of a broader movement to reimagine healthcare, death care, and end-oflife planning. “We hope these guidelines will inspire people to really open themselves up to what is possible,” she said. For LGBTQ+ people and their families, these guidelines are an invitation to honor both life and death in ways that are authentic, personal, and inclusive.
If you are a funeral director interested in learning more about “Died With Pride” or other Entheos initiatives, please visit our website www.entheos.ie or email info@entheos.ie to connect with a celebrant in your area.
Beverley Brown, IAFD representative and Gus Nichols, J&C Nichols attend
FIAT-IFTA
Convention 2024
The FIAT-IFTA 2024 Convention in Krakow gathered over 300 participants from 54 countries at the Fabryczna City Complex, earning praise for its engaging agenda, hospitality, and organisation. This year introduced an event app for enhanced networking, making it a standout in the global funeral services community.
Held from September 18-20, the 17th FIATIFTA Convention and 53rd I.C.D. Annual Meeting provided a platform for international networking. Key committees addressed crucial areas: the Heritage Committee focused on preserving funeral cultural heritage, while other committees worked on education, embalming standards, sustainability, and coffin manufacturing.
Exceptional speakers delved into topics such as the evolution of Slavic funeral rituals, cemetery management, cost reduction strategies, and the impact of funerals on society. A memorable moment was a discussion with Polish sports legends Jerzy Dudek and Artur Partyka, sharing motivational insights that resonated with attendees.
The event also featured a workshop for Polish cemetery managers, tackling challenges in cemetery operations. Additionally, the election of Ms. Idermaa Garavsuran from Mongolia as 3rd Vice President marked a milestone.
Social highlights included a welcome cocktail at Utopia vodka bar and a Gala Dinner, where FIAT-IFTA’s Presidential insignia passed from Mr. Marek Cichewicz to Mr. William Wappner. A Farewell Party closed the event, fostering camaraderie.
The convention concluded with a cultural tour
dinner, Gus Nichols and Beverley
of Krakow, including visits to historic cemeteries and the unveiling of ecological initiatives. Some attendees extended their stay to visit iconic sites like the Wieliczka Salt Mine and Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial, leaving a lasting emotional impact.
Gala
Brown
IAFD President Attends Inaugural Class of 2024/2025 FDCA
Niall Mulligan, President attended the inaugural session of the 2024/2025 Funeral Directing Certificate Award (FDCA) programme, marking the beginning of an important chapter for the future leaders of Ireland’s funeral industry. The FDCA, designed to provide essential training and development for funeral directors, welcomed a new cohort this week.
During his address, the IAFD President highlighted the significance of professional development in maintaining the high standards of care and service that the Irish funeral industry
is known for. He also praised the new students for their commitment to upholding the integrity and compassion that are central to the role of a funeral director.
The FDCA program, which covers critical areas such as bereavement care, legal regulations, and operational management, plays a pivotal role in ensuring funeral directors are well-prepared to serve their communities with professionalism and empathy. The President’s attendance at the launch reaffirmed the IAFD’s support for ongoing education and excellence in the field.
Galway Grief Sherpa Network (GGSN)
Launches Directory at The Clayton Hotel
On the evening of September 11th, 2024, the Galway Grief Sherpa Network (GGSN) held a soft launch for its new directory at The Clayton Hotel in Galway. The event marked a significant milestone for the community, aiming to enhance bereavement support
across Galway and beyond.
The evening was hosted by Vivian RocheFahy, Bereavement Liaison Officer at Galway University Hospital (GUH) and Chair of the GGSN Project Team. The Lord Mayor of Galway City, Peter Keane, and Cathaoirleach of Galway
Niall Mulligan and the class of 2024
County, Albert Dolan, both delivered speeches emphasising the vital role of community in bereavement support.
The Irish Hospice Foundation (IHF) was represented by Amanda Roberts, National Bereavement Development Coordinator, who shared insights on the nationwide initiative to establish local bereavement networks. The event also saw representation from GUH’s management team, further highlighting the collaboration between healthcare institutions and community-led bereavement efforts.
A highlight of the evening was the official ribbon-cutting ceremony, which formally launched the GGSN Directory, a vital resource designed to connect bereaved individuals with local support services. Attendees were treated to a special solo musical performance by Donal Gill on the low tin whistle.
Notably, the event was also attended by Tom Lawless, Immediate Past President of the Irish Association for Funeral Directors (IAFD), adding further recognition to the significance of this launch in Ireland’s bereavement support landscape.
The event concluded with closing remarks by
Vivian Roche-Fahy, who expressed appreciation for the efforts of the GGSN Project Team and outlined plans for the network’s first official meeting, scheduled for October 22nd, 2024. This launch represents an important step toward enhancing the resources available to those navigating grief in Galway, as well as fostering stronger connections between bereavement services and the wider community.
IAFD President Attends Event to mark 120 years of IAFD Members, James Brown & Sons
James Brown and Sons Funeral Directors celebrated 120 years of care and support in their Belfast community with a special event at their Newtownards Road location.
Founded in 1904, the business began as a coal merchant and furniture remover, with its first funeral arranged in 1932. The Brown family has since helped thousands of people say their final goodbyes. Today, James Brown’s grandson and great-granddaughter, Beverley, continue to uphold their legacy. James expressed pride in being part of the business founded by his grandfather.
James Brown and Niall Mulligan
Tom Lawless and Vivian Roche-Fahy
IAFD Announces New Appointments: Strengthening Leadership in Education and Membership
The Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) is pleased to announce three key appointments aimed at enhancing the organisation’s leadership in education and membership support. These appointments reflect the IAFD’s commitment to professional growth and its dedication to serving the needs of its members.
Peter Maguire has been appointed as the new Education Officer. With his extensive experience in the
funeral industry, Peter will lead initiatives to enhance educational opportunities for members, ensuring high standards of professionalism and compliance with evolving industry regulations.
Joining him is Áine Tuffy, who steps into the role of Education Co-ordinator. Áine will work closely with Peter to deliver and coordinate educational programme that meet the needs of professionals in the field.
Lastly, Kylie Gourley has
been appointed as the new Membership Officer. Kylie will focus on strengthening relationships with current members while expanding the association’s reach to new professionals, ensuring continued growth and support within the IAFD community.
These appointments mark an exciting chapter for the IAFD as it continues to champion excellence in funeral service education and membership engagement.
Peter Maguire
Kylie Gourley
Aine Tuffy
Niall Mulligan (President)
Heffernan’s Funeral Directors
Trim, Co. Meath
Mobile: 086 8208501
Ph: 046 9438662
Email: president@iafd.ie
Niamh Sweeney (First Vice President and Education Officer)
John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow, Co Wicklow
Ph: 0402 32333
Email: education@iafd.ie
Paul Reilly (Hon. Secretary)
Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors
Leinster Street, Maynooth
Ph: 045-868230
Email: reillysfuneralhome@gmail.com
Pat Smyth (Hon. Treasurer)
Smyth’s Funeral Directors
Lanesboro Street, Roscommon
Ph: 0906 626122
Email: treasurer@iafd.ie
Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer)
Fanagans 54 Aungier Street
Dublin 2
Ph: 01 4167700
Email: fintancooney@fanagans.ie
John Mark Griffin (Public Relations Officer)
Griffin Funerals
John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick
Ph: 061 415000
Email: pro@iafd.ie
Tom Lawless (Immediate Past President) Lawless Funeral Directors
Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly
Ph: 057 9322622
Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie
Dara Gillespie
Finlays Funeral Service
Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth
Mobile: 086 7923472
Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com
Donal Forde
Fordes Funeral Homes Ltd
South Gate Bridge
Cork, Co. Cork
Ph: 021 4318222
Email: donal@fordesfuneralhome.ie
Kylie Gourley
Funeral Partners Northern Ireland
300 Newtownards Road
Belfast BT4 1HF
Ph: 028 9045 1021
Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com
Peter Maguire
Massey Bros Funerals
Head office
109 The Coombe, Dublin 8, D08 AK10
Telephone 01 4533333
Email peter@masseybros.com
Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Professionals gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also co-hosts The Let’s Get Social Show and you can catch that on all the major podcast channels such as Spotify etc... And for more information on what Eimer provides go to www.fitsocialmedia.co.uk
Engaging younger generations on Social Media: Strategies to connect with Millennials and Gen Z
Do you find it challenging to connect with younger generations on social media? You’re not alone. Businesses across different industries are having to adjust to connect with Millennials and Gen Z, who often look for something different from the usual approaches. Millennials and Gen Z are the future families your funeral business will serve and they may even be future team members. To reach them, you need to be visible where they are on social media. This might sound like new territory, but with the right strategies, you can use social media to build genuine connections with these younger generations.
Let’s look at what’s working in other industries and how you can apply similar approaches to your funeral business, making social media a space for meaningful engagement and understanding.
Learning from other industries: What’s Working?
To help you engage Millennials and Gen Z effectively, here are examples of successful social media strategies from other sectors.
Retail - John Lewis & Partners:
John Lewis cultivated a loyal Instagram following through its “Partners against Waste” campaign, which highlighted efforts to reduce plastic waste. This initiative saw a 30% increase in engagement by showcasing their commitment to sustainability and community values. How You Can Use This: Share stories about your sustainability efforts, like green burial options or your involvement in local charity events. Showcasing these efforts aligns your brand with the values of environmentally conscious audiences.
Healthcare - NHS Organ Donation:
The NHS organ donation team excels at demystifying a sensitive topic. Their “Let’s Talk About Organ Donation” series, featuring real-life stories, led to a 45% increase in engagement and a 20% rise in registrations.
How You Can Use This: Consider a series of posts that address common questions about funeral planning, preplanning, repatriation, or personalised services. By sharing relatable stories (with permission), you can foster comfort and trust among younger audiences.
Hospice Care - St Christopher’s Hospice:
St Christopher’s Hospice in London used the “Life. Death. Whatever.” campaign to open up conversations about end-of-life care. This campaign increased social media engagement by 75% and attracted younger audiences to their events.
How You Can Use This: Share resources that normalise conversations around death and legacy. Host virtual Q&A sessions or provide grief support resources to connect meaningfully with your audience on these topics.
5 Key Strategies to Engage Gen Z and Millennials on Social Media
1.
Choosing the Right Platforms: Where They’re Spending Their Time
Picking the right platform is key to reaching younger audiences. Here are a few suggestions.
Instagram: Instagram’s visual storytelling is ideal for sharing a personal side of your business. Post photos of your team, community involvement or educational content that makes funeral services more approachable. Use Instagram Stories for Q&As, polls and behind-the-scenes moments to build trust.
TikTok: TikTok appeals strongly to Gen Z and increasingly to Millennials. An educational series like “Let’s Talk About It” allows you to answer common questions and share information about services like eco-friendly funerals or repatriation. This content style engages young viewers in a light approachable way.
YouTube: YouTube works well for longer indepth content. Consider a series on topics like “Understanding Funeral Options” or “Planning Ahead” to provide a thorough look at your services. These videos create a valuable resource for families to refer to at any time.
2. Using Modern Language to Build Connection
Your language makes a huge difference in how approachable you feel to younger audiences. Millennials and Gen Z respond well to clear, empathetic and conversational language.
Simplify Your Language: Avoid formal jargon. Instead of terms like “pre-need services” or other technical language, use straightforward phrases like “planning ahead” or “ways to personalise a service” to make your offerings feel more relatable.
Use Empathy: Demonstrate that you understand their needs and concerns. Language like “we’re here to support you and your family,” rather than “our services include” creates a warmer tone that resonates with younger audiences.
Invite Interaction: Social media is a dialogue not a broadcast. Use interactive language in your posts, like “Curious about how planning ahead works? Let us know.” This opens the door for questions and makes your business more approachable.
3. Using Visuals that Resonate with Younger Audiences
Visuals play a vital role in connecting with Millennials and Gen Z. Here’s how to make the most of them.
Show Authentic Imagery: Skip stock photos and where possible use real photos of your team, community events or natural calming visuals. Genuine imagery fosters trust and helps younger generations feel more connected to your brand.
Make It Informative: Younger generations appreciate visuals that educate. Try using infographics to explain the steps of funeral planning, repatriation or highlight eco-friendly options. These visual guides make your offerings easier to understand.
Give a Behind-the-Scenes Look: Share behindthe-scenes photos or videos to showcase the human side of your business. A facility tour or team introduction adds transparency helping to build familiarity and trust.
4. Creating Interactive and Engaging Content
Interactivity is key to keeping Millennials and Gen Z engaged. Here’s how you can encourage interaction.
Instagram Stories for Polls and Q&As:
Stories are perfect for engaging your audience directly. Use polls to ask about their interests or run Q&A sessions where your team answers questions in real-time. This allows younger followers to engage directly and feel heard.
TikTok Educational Series: An educational TikTok series like “Let’s Talk About It” can break down topics like preplanning, green funeral options or repatriation in short digestible videos. This creates an approachable entry point for learning about sensitive topics.
Live Videos: Host live sessions on Instagram or YouTube where you discuss eco-friendly choices, repatriation, answer questions, or guide viewers through the planning process. Live videos allow for real-time engagement giving audiences a more personal connection with your brand.
5. Aligning with the Values of Millennials and Gen Z
Social values are important to Millennials and Gen Z who engage more with brands that support sustainability, mental health and community involvement.
Showcase Eco-Friendly Options: If you offer green burials or use sustainable materials highlight this on social media. Explain how these choices benefit the environment to engage sustainability conscious audiences.
Normalise Conversations on Grief and Mental Health: Younger generations value openness about mental health. Consider sharing resources that normalise grief and provide support, or partner with local mental health organisations to add value to your community.
Share Community Involvement: Highlight local events or partnerships such as charity drives or remembrance gatherings. Showing your business as a caring active member of the community strengthens trust with younger generations.
Bonus Tip: Repurpose Your Content Across Platforms
Once you’ve created engaging content for platforms like Instagram or TikTok consider reusing it on other social media profiles like Facebook, LinkedIn and even your Google Business Profile. For example, an educational video created for TikTok can easily be shared as a Facebook post or a short snippet on LinkedIn. Reusing content in this way helps you reach a broader audience without starting from scratch maximising the impact of each post.
Pro Tip: To avoid the TikTok watermark when repurposing videos, try recording the original video on your phone’s camera, then upload it to TikTok. This way you have a watermarkfree version saved on your phone that’s ready to share across other platforms keeping your content looking professional and clean.
Tracking Your Progress: Measuring Social Media Success
Once you’ve started implementing these strategies, it’s important to track your progress. Here are some key metrics to help you understand how well you’re connecting with younger audiences.
Engagement Rate: Likes, comments, shares and saves show that your content resonates. A high engagement rate is a great sign that you’re on the right track.
Audience Growth: Track the number of followers you gain over time. This shows how well you’re attracting new people to your brand.
Post Reach and Impressions: See how many people see your content and how often. This helps you identify what’s getting the most attention.
Direct Messages and Enquiries: If people are messaging you with questions it’s a sign they feel comfortable reaching out, an indicator that your strategy is working.
Encouraging a Community: Your Experiences Matter
Connecting with Millennials and Gen Z is a journey and hearing about others’ experiences can be valuable. Ready to connect with the next generation? Try implementing one or two of these strategies straight away. Start small maybe update the language in your next post or create a quick TikTok video that introduces your team. Each small step helps build trust and make your brand feel approachable.
Good Funeral Awards 2024
The Good Funeral Awards 2024 was held at The Eden Project in Cornwall on the 14th September 2024. Eimer was nominated as a finalist for “Best External Supplier to the UK Funeral Industry.”
Sadly, on this occasion Eimer was not successful but said:
“It was a real privilege to be in the final, thank you to everyone who nominated me and for the cheer on. It was lovely to receive a printed certificate and to get to read some of the very kind statements that accompanied it.”
Good luck for next year!
Introducing the new E CLass
In summer 2023, Mercedes-Benz finally began to release details of the much-anticipated W214 model E Class. Announcing the market launch for October 2023, coachbuilders were glued to their screens as the news broke, growing more and more excited about what was coming next.
The W213 model had been an unqualified success for Quinn Hearse and Limousine. Launched at the Funeral Times Trade Show in 2017, the 5-door hearse became the best-selling model the family ever had. The versatility of the offering made a lot of sense for funeral directors, especially in Ireland, where the option of a 3- or 5-door model meant that, from rural
In 2020, there was a minor cosmetic facelift, as well as the rollout of MHEV engines as standard, meaning increased fuel efficiency and a more eco-friendly output.
Towards the end of 2023, the excitement was building for the new iteration. In a fun piece of symmetry, it was actually during the Funeral Times Trade Show in October that Paddy Quinn was first invited by Mercedes to view a pre-release model. Immediately, plans were put in place for the design and the integration of new features. The W214 would have more tech, including ADAS with adaptive cruise control and lane assist, necessitating the incorporation and calibration of the millimetre-wave radar for the longer wheelbase. This was something which had been integrated in the higher-spec models of the Quinn Passat hearse previously, giving
the team a head start on how to approach the advanced systems.
It didn’t take long before the pre-orders started coming in. The trust shown in Quinn’s by their customers was unprecedented. Ordinarily, people want to see what they’re buying first; however, funeral directors trust the build quality and support they know they will receive and were happy to join the growing queue to get their hands on the new hearses.
In early 2024, Quinn’s finally took delivery of the first new model E Class, and work began immediately. The aim was not just to build a quality vehicle but to set up the production line fully. In June 2024 at the National Funeral Exhibition, Wilcox displayed the first completed W214 hearse. In the traditional British style with the higher roofline and large deck, it made waves throughout the UK. They soon announced that their model would be available to purchase towards the end of 2024/start of 2025. At the same show, Duffy Coachbodies released some stunning designs of their interpretation, with an aim to supply funeral
directors in early 2025 as well. Then Coleman Milne released their designs online for one of the biggest hearses on the market, measuring 6.35m in length.
In September 2024, Quinn’s had finished both 3-door and 5-door versions of their interpretation, each fully tested, approved, and ready for delivery to funeral directors. Cathal McAnulty proudly took delivery of the first one, and what a vehicle it is!
Filled to the brim with new features on a top-of-the-range base car, Cathal has the most modern hearse around.
The AMG Premium Plus edition comes with an MBUX high-resolution display, massaging seats, heated steering wheel, adaptive cruise control, self-parking features, 360° camera, integrated dash cam, and a host of other extras.
The hearse itself has high- and low-level LED lighting, a slide-out underdeck drawer, the original Mercedes rear seats, and is finished with ceramic protection on the paintwork. The list could go on.
Over the coming months, you’ll start to see more and more of these vehicles popping up throughout the UK and Ireland - and for good reason. They are Quinn’s best vehicles yet.
We would like to wish all our customers a very Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year
RISE AND FALL CATAFALQUE
• SUITABLE FOR ANY CREMATORIUM OR FUNERAL HOME
• STYLE AND DIMENSIONS TO SUIT INDIVIDUAL NEEDS
• REMOTE OPERATION
Funeral Directors proudly mark 120 years of unwavering and dedicated service to Belfast families
A Funeral Directors proudly at the very heart of their community held a special event to mark the provision of 120 years of care, support and trust.
James Brown and Sons
Funeral Directors hosted a commemoration of their storied journey at their Newtownards Road funeral home in Belfast – one of the seven funeral homes they operate in and around the city.
The business was established in 1904 when, having moved to the city from Ballybay, Co. Monaghan, James Brown established a business that would eventually become what it is today.
Initially a coal merchant and furniture remover, Mr Brown arranged his first funeral in 1932, and the family name has been synonymous with caring for people ever since having helped thousands of people say their final goodbyes to their loved ones.
His grandson, also James Brown, is still very much involved in the business today, as is his great granddaughter Beverley, who is the Marketing and Community Relations Manager.
The company is now part of the high-quality Funeral Partners network – the country’s third largest funeral business - which is committed to retaining the heritage and reputation of the companies they work with across the UK.
James said: “It is a privilege for Beverley and me to be part of the business my grandfather founded in 1904.
“I was present at the Golden Jubilee in 1954 when my grandmother commented on behalf of her family – ‘During the past fifty years our path has often been beset by obstacles, which at times seemed insurmountable, but God’s grace supporting human perseverance has brought us safely through. On this occasion we would like to pay tribute to our staff for faithful and efficient service through the years.’
“I heartily repeat what she penned, which I believe continues to be relevant in
“Her words in relation to the commitment of the company’s staff are particularly pertinent.”
Guests at the special anniversary event included representatives from groups that have been supported by the James Brown and Sons Community Fund – an initiative that aims to support local organisations in Belfast and the surrounding areas, supporting them with grants, but also forging relationships between the groups and the team at Brown’s.
The Rev Jim Rea, Retired Methodist Minister, was also present and paid tribute to the company.
He said: “For more than 50
James Brown, Retired Methodist Minister Jim Rea, Funeral Partners CEO Sam Kershaw, Beverley Brown and councillor Sammy Douglas this era.
years, I have officiated at hundreds of funerals with Brown’s, who are highly regarded in the communities they serve.
“They deal with every situation with great sensitivity and professionalism. The fact that they have sustained a
business for 120 years says it all.”
Cllr Sammy Douglas, High Sherriff of Belfast, added: “The contribution James Brown & Sons has made to East Belfast for 120 years has been immeasurable.
“They have helped many
thousands of grieving families, including my own, in a compassionate and sensitive manner.”
For more information about James Brown and Sons, visit https://www. jamesbrownfuneraldirectors. com/
Funeral Directors help fund sign language course for young students
Beverley Brown from James Brown & Sons visits Ashfield Girls School and their sign language sessions
Students were supported by a Belfast Funeral Directors to learn sign language and improve their understanding of what the world is like for deaf people.
James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors helped to fund the project at Ashfield Girls’ High School.
The topic was initially discussed in an assembly and support from James Brown & Sons enabled a short course to be taught in the school which ran across eight different sessions.
It is hoped that as well as teaching the pupils
a new skill, it would broaden their horizons and increase their employability.
James Brown & Sons Marketing and Community Relations Manager Beverley Brown visited the school to see the progress which had been made.
She said: “It was so inspiring to see how passionate and dedicated the students are in learning this beautiful and essential skill.
“Communication is truly for everyone, and it’s wonderful to see the next generation embracing it.”
Looking after your past whilst protecting your future
Secure your legacy and plan for a prosperous New Year
The Autumn Budget brought about some key changes to capital gains tax for business owners. The current rate of 10% on the first £1m of gains (subject to eligibility) will now only apply to businesses sold up to 5th April 2025. After this date, it will increase to 14%, rising further to 18% in April 2026. As cash would be included in a sale, this can also be extracted at a more favourable rate than via dividends, and we encourage all owners to discuss this with their accountants.
Should you be thinking of selling your business, now is therefore the perfect time to consider options if you are to
take advantage of this short window of opportunity. We have welcomed over 1,000 years of heritage and experience into our business over the last 12 months and would be happy to provide you with a no-obligation business valuation to help you move swiftly, should you also decide to protect your legacy and secure the best outcome for your future.
Please visit www.funeralpartners.co.uk/story to hear more from our team and partners and to start the conversation.
Season’s Greetings from all of us at Funeral Partners. For a confidential, informal chat about securing your future, contact our team.
Sam Kershaw Chief Executive Officer
07834 531822
sam.kershaw@funeralpartners.co.uk
Steve Wilkinson Mergers & Acquisitions Director 07528 970531 steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk
Michael Crowley and Michael McCarthy from Crowley’s of Balincollig, Cork with their 2 ambulance conversions recently completed
New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine
Cathal McAnulty of Warrenpoint collecting his new W214 E Class hearse from the Quinn family in Co. Antrim
BIE News BIE News
Ireland Division
Hi All,
I hope everyone has had an amazing 2024. This year has absolutely flown by.
We had our third and final meeting on the 27th October 2024 in Shasby’s Funeral Home, Kilkenny City. It was great turnout of students and members. We had a great day. I want to say a huge thank you to Michael Shasby for allowing us to have our meeting at his beautiful Funeral Home and to his sister Breda for supplying us with an amazing spread of refreshments. We also had Mr. Colin White from The Irish Kidney Association as our guest speaker who gave us a talk on Organ Donation. It was so good to catch up with everyone! I would like to congratulate our newly qualified members who received their certificates Gillian O’Shea, Trish Doyle, Jennifer Campbell and Colma O’Neill. I wish ye all the luck in the future.
Our Agm & 1st Meeting of 2025 will be held on the 9th February. We are awaiting conformation on the Venue so we will send out invitations as soon as its confirmed.
On a final note, I can’t believe I’m saying this already but have a lovely Christmas and we’ll see ye in the new year.
BIE Irish Chairperson Niamh Cusack
Welcome new members!
their certicates,
Shasby’s Funeral Home, Kilkenny City, location of the final meeting for 2024
Gillian O’Shea, Colma O’Neill, Jennifer Campbell and Trish Doyle each receiving
well done!
List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2024/2025
Student Liaison Officer: Adrian Walters MBIE Tel: 01564 778991
Congratulations to Laurence O’Neill, O’Neills Funeral Directors, Belfast on receiving his certificate to become an accredited embalming tutor from the BIE.
Laurence was presented with his certificate at a recent BIE National council meeting. Laurence is pictured alongside Mr Phil Hoggart, Mrs Bobby Hopkin-Hoggart and Mr Colin Canon who ran the Tutors course over the past 18 months. Well done!
The tradition of the Irish Wake
While funeral ceremonies are changing in Ireland, a tradition I hope doesn’t change is the Irish wake. My family have been lucky enough to have been able to bring home all of my family members that have died and have a wake in the house.
It’s a time that I believe is very important as it’s when we get to hear all the wonderful stories about our loved ones and the whole community gathers around to show their support. Most importantly it’s the precious time before we have to say the final goodbye to the physical presence of our loved one.
In my household we would bake cakes and buns on hearing the news of a friend, neighbour or family member’s death. This tradition has been passed down from my granny to my mother and then to me. While food does not do anything to take away the pain caused by death it is my family’s way of showing our support.
In some parts of Ireland this tradition is slowly dying away but I would encourage all funeral professionals to encourage people to bring back this tradition where possible. Wakes of the future may look different, but ultimately, it’s about spending time together and honouring and celebrating a person’s life.
Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.
Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.
We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.
For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie
Thank you from Treasured Keepsakes
Liza of Treasured Keepsakes would like to thank everyone for their support this year, both personally and professionally. “Personally it was a tough start to the year and I would like to thank everyone for their kind text messages, e-mails, phone calls and above all, their patience when the office was closed. I would also like to thank them for their continued support throughout 2024. I look forward to a healthy and busy 2025.”
Treasured Keepsakes have Brass Urns, Hardwood Urns, Eco Urns, Brass Keepsakes and Keepsake Pendants all in stock just waiting on your call. If you would like to use their service and enhance your business by giving the choice of a wide selection of products to your clients but at no extra cost to you please contact Liza.
CJ Williams elevates funeral services with acquisition of luxurious Wilcox Mercedes fleet
CJ Williams of Telford, a family-owned funeral director with a legacy spanning over a century, continues to redefine the standards of funeral services. Their recent acquisition of three new Wilcox Mercedes-Benz hearses and limousines underscores their commitment to providing dignified and luxurious farewells.
The addition of these prestigious vehicles to their existing fleet, which already boasts eight luxurious Wilcox Bentley Flying Spur Hearses and Limousines, further solidifies CJ Williams’ dedication to honouring the memory of loved ones.
Simon Williams, from CJ Williams quoted: “Having received our first Mercedes fleet, finished in onyx and with a few individual styling changes, we couldn’t be more pleased. The build quality is outstanding, and they complement the Bentleys perfectly. In fact, they have made our remaining XJ look a little dated, which has prompted us to order a
fleet of E214s to replace the existing Jaguars and work in conjunction with the Flying Spurs.”
Wilcox Limousines, a thirdgeneration family business, is renowned for its exceptional aftercare and top-quality vehicles are the perfect complement to CJ Williams’ commitment to excellence.
The new Mercedes-Benz models, with their unmatched luxury and attention to detail, set a new standard in the funeral industry. For over 75 years, Wilcox has been at the forefront of funeral vehicle design and innovation, combining luxury craftsmanship with advanced technology.
Paul Wilcox representing the Wilcox family quoted: “The Wilcox family is delighted to know that The Williams family is happy with their new Mercedes. We at Wilcox strive to provide the best possible service at the most competitive price. Our commitment to our products, clients, and service is instilled in our staff. We would like to thank CJ Williams for their
custom and for choosing Wilcox.”
About CJ Williams
Founded by Simon Higginson Breeze in 1880, now run by his great-great-grandchildren Simon and Louise and their mother Carol, CJ Williams has been a cornerstone of the community for over a century. With a rich history and a commitment to compassionate care, CJ Williams continues to provide personalized funeral services tailored to the unique needs of each family.
About Wilcox Limousines Wilcox Limousines is a leading UK provider of luxury funeral vehicles, renowned for its innovation in craftsmanship and technology for over 75 years. As a third-generation family business, Wilcox combines heritage with modern advancements, delivering high-quality vehicles and dependable aftercare to funeral directors nationwide. For further information, please contact our marketing team at enquiries@wilcox. uk or call us on +44 (0) 1942 259 860
The new Mercedes fleet
Lyn Oakes are a family-run business, established in the industry as the go-to uniform suppliers to the funeral trade. They strive to craft garments that make professionals look and feel their best at work. Headed up by Simon Oakes, when wearing a Lyn Oakes outfit, you know you’re in safe hands.
In Ireland, Lyn Oakes uniforms are available through the friendly team at Shepherd’s Funeral Supplies. As long-standing agents, Shepherd’s have 20 years of expertise supplying formal uniform outfits to the Irish market – come rain or shine!
Offering so much more than just ‘black herringbone’ is what Lyn Oakes do best.
Traditional stock-supported garments remain at the core of their uniforms, servicing customers with a go-to shop for off-the-peg clothes and accessories throughout the year. These garments remain high quality, durable, and are competitively priced, for both men and ladies. Noticing an industry-wide trend towards more understated funerals and cremations, Lyn Oakes wanted to continue to offer readily available key pieces, without too much fuss. Bringing out their first ‘Work-Wear’ capsule collection this Autumn Winter has proved very popular.
The ‘Whipcord’ raincoat is Lyn Oakes’ best-selling product in Ireland, available in black, charcoal and more
uniquely in navy. The coats feature a raglan sleeve for easy movement, reinforced interfacing to keep a formal shape on the chest, and are Teflon coated to repel water. The fabric is woven in England, and the navy cloth is woven and sold exclusively to Lyn Oakes. Something even more special for their fantastic customers!
With more clients interested in sustainability, Lyn Oakes are focused on using cloths made from natural fibres where possible, and can even supply suits made from recycled plastic bottles. In the UK the company offers a repair service to increase the garment life-cycle, they keep production runs low to
and
For businesses wanting a more unique tailor-made look, Lyn Oakes can offer individual
The team operate Monday to Friday, and are happy to answer any questions on how they could help elevate your uniform to the next level!
ITEMS
& URN
BAGS
STARTER KIT which includes 10 x Casket Bags
5 x Jewellery Bags
10 x Ur n Bags g
Now available which includes BLUETOOTH TECHNOLOGY
MODEL MIPRO CASKET, JEWELLERY
Multichannel Rechargeable Wireless Mic, Speaker with Built in Wireless Tuner & Carry bag.
CADSEAL REPATRIATION FOI L -
Includes 3 x 7ft bags and Hand Crimp. Hermetically sealed by use of heat sealer suitable for Burial, Cremation and Repatriation. Available in 7ft or 8ft Seal bags. Cheaper alternative to Zinc Liners. Fully approved and detailed in the IATA Airport Handling Manual, AHM 333 (Jan. 2011)
Note: Most countries accept CadSeal metal film as an alternative to zinc lined coffinsplease check with each local authority.
FSA/FFMA calls on profession to verify quality of products offered to bereaved families
Laws around product labelling are very straightforward. Labels must not be misleading about things such as: quantity or size, price, what it’s made of, how, where and when it was made, what you say it can do and the people or organisations that endorse it.
This means that if you describe a coffin as sustainable, made of a particular material or suitable for cremation, for example, you need to be able to evidence that this is the case. Recent issues, that have come to light have related to issues such as describing a coffin as solid wood when the bottom is made of plywood, or describing a casket as sustainable, without the proper accreditation to support this assertion, risks falling foul of Trading Standards.
One topic right at the heart of this issue is the manufacture of high quality coffins. After a number of issues were raised by crematoria, where coffins had damaged cremators by leaving sticky residue on surfacesand by funeral directors, who had the distressing experience of carrying a coffin
that proved not to be robust enough, the Funeral Furnishing Manufacturers’ Association (FFMA) launched the Coffin & Casket Testing Protocol.
Since launching in 2016, the Protocol has been deployed to test close to 200 products made by the Association’s 50 plus members, who comprise a high percentage of the British coffin making sector. Coffin materials checked under the Protocol range from oak veneer and wicker to picture coffins and cardboard.
The aim of the testing scheme is to ensure coffins, caskets and even shrouds are safe for use in both cremation and burial settings, bringing peace of mind to bereaved families, crematoria and burial ground operators and funeral
FFMA Chief Executive Alun Tucker said the Protocol had become the universal kitemark for quality in coffins. “We’re incredibly pleased with how the scheme has embedded itself within the sector as the standard for quality assurance in just a few short years. And with over 180 products tested so far, we can be confident that the majority of coffin and casket ranges presented for funerals are of exceptionally good build quality.
“This is essential to families, who need to know that the products supplied for a loved one’s final journey will perform as intended. It’s also a vital health and safety issue for funeral directors and employees at crematoria, cemeteries and burial grounds.
Funeral Suppliers’ Assocaition est. 1939
LEADERS IN COFFIN TESTING
This Christmas, give the Gift of Hope
Christmas is often a time when we reflect on the hopes we have for the year ahead, for our loved ones, and our future. But for those struck by devastating chest, heart, and stroke conditions, they often have only one hope- for recovery.
At the beginning of 2015, Clodagh Dunlop, Ciara Murray, and Lisa Lecky were strangers. Three young women in their thirties, from different parts of Northern Ireland, each with their life ahead of them. Little could they have known that later that year, they would all suffer life-changing strokes, and their paths would cross after being admitted to the Regional Acquired Brain Injury Unit (RABIU) at Musgrave Park Hospital.
Clodagh, from Magherafelt, was just 35 at the time. Her stroke resulted in Locked-in Syndrome, which left her completely paralysed and only able to communicate through a Blinkboard. She spent nearly 8 months in hospital fighting through an experience most people would consider their worst nightmare. When Clodagh woke up in the Intensive Care
Unit, she was utterly terrified and couldn’t move a muscle. She was a prisoner in her own body and for almost 3 months was unable to move or speak, yet her mind remained completely alert.
Eventually, Clodagh started to show some signs of recovery and was transferred to RABIU where she had to learn to breathe, swallow, walk and talk again. In the bed opposite Clodagh’s, was another stroke patient - Lisa Lecky from Belfast.
Lisa had a stroke aged 37 whilst 10 weeks pregnant with her daughter Orla. Waking up in the Royal Victoria Hospital was a shock. Her thoughts weren’t for herself but for her unborn baby. She also worried how her one-year-old son Conor would cope without her. In total, Lisa spent 6 months in hospital before she saw Conor again - half of his little life.
Following her stroke, Lisa had to learn to walk again, but she couldn’t attempt walking for over a year because her growing baby bump unbalanced her. At 37 and a young mum, having to use a wheelchair and not being able to look after herself or her babies wasn’t what she had hoped for.
After Orla was born, Lisa returned to RABIU as an outpatient. Through word of mouth, Lisa learned there was another woman there with a similar experience to hers. That woman was Ciara Murray from
Enniskillen, who was just 32 years old and 36½ weeks pregnant when she suffered a stroke on her own at home.
Her husband John found her 7 hours later, slipping in and out of consciousness. Ciara was taken by ambulance to the Royal Victoria Hospital where doctors removed a clot from her brain and delivered her baby at the same time. She was then placed in an induced coma and remained unconscious for 10 days. When she finally came round, a nurse on the stroke ward told her she had had a baby boy.
Ciara’s recovery was just beginning but it was a long road ahead. Her happy life changed suddenly to being in the hospital, having to use a hoist, a catheter, a wheelchair, and drink liquid food. She also had to relearn to walk.
While RABIU was extremely challenging for Ciara, a silver lining was that she met Clodagh and Lisa there. They exchanged phone numbers and have stayed in touch ever since, sharing experiences and advice, forming a strong and unbreakable bond.
They later gained one more thing in common when Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke
came into their lives. All three attended our Post Rehab Exercise Programme (PREP), a physiotherapy-led, community-based course which helps rebuild people’s lives following a stroke.
Despite their strokes, these inspirational young women are all regaining their independence. They each wear a splint on their foot due to pain, but together, they can laugh about their ‘mummy’ bandaged legs. Through determination and hard work, they have each reclaimed the lives they deserve.
Our services are only possible thanks to local supporters. If you would like to give the Gift of Hope this Christmas, please donate to our Christmas Appeal and help more people like Clodagh, Lisa, and Ciara.
Please go to www.nichs.org.uk/make-a-donation or call 028 9026 6743.
L to R: Ciara Murray, Lisa Lecky, and Clodagh Dunlop.
The Late Helen Gabriel Bandon,
Co. Cork
CouldI take this opportunity through the pages of the FUNERAL TIMES to express our sincere gratitude to everybody in the funeral business who came in such great numbers from far and near to be with us at Helen’s funeral.
It was a great consolation to us, to see so many of our colleagues, suppliers and their staff, who took time out to be with us.
Thank you to all our great friends in the funeral business who offered their services, it was very much appreciated.
Robert Gabriel and Family.
Create the independent future you want.
While SAIF represents you on the issues that matter.
We know how much you value your independence.
The funeral industry may have changed but our passion for supporting our members has remained the same. We represent you on the issues that matter, from improving understanding of funeral pricing to influencing the legislation which a ects your future Let us take care of the big picture so you can focus locally on what you do best.
For over 30 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.
Visit saif.org.uk or call us on
Saif NewS Saif NewS
SAIF’s National Education Day: a unique opportunity to learn and innovate
SAIF’s ever-popular Education Day returned to Leicester in early October, attracting more than 140 funeral director and supplier delegates from across the UK. The event featured a packed agenda of insightful presentations, engaging discussions and invaluable networking sessions. Here are some of the highlights from the gathering, which took place at the Marriott Hotel on 5th October.
Launch of New Research Report: A Game-Changer for the independent sector
Our industry is undergoing significant transformation, shaped by shifting consumer preferences, technological innovations, and changing societal attitudes toward death and mourning. To help our members navigate these changes, last year we began work on a new comprehensive research report addressing sector pricing, consumer trends and attitudes. This report, developed by the SAIF Digital team in partnership with Funeral Solutions Experts, provides a deep dive into the current trends, challenges, and opportunities that funeral directors and related service providers need to be aware of to stay competitive.
An Overview of the Research Report
This newly launched report is the result of extensive
research, industry and public surveys, and expert consultations. Covering a wide range of topics, it explores the changing demand by generation to the real cost of a funeral in 2024. The report also examines the average spend on a funeral, consumer trends impacting the average funeral cost and the public attitude towards the independent sector.
One of the report’s most groundbreaking sections examines the Sun Life Cost of Dying report. In depth research clearly identifies a flawed methodology that artificially inflates the reported average cost of a funeral in the UK. Crucially, the report offers actionable insights for funeral directors to improve pricing and business strategy. I would strongly encourage
every member to read the report in its entirety.
You can access the report via the SAIF Digital facebook group or via the link sent via email or QR Code.
The future of independent funeral directors
One of the key themes explored at the conference was the future of independent funeral directors. James Morris, SAIF Scotland Past President and managing director of
William Purves, emphasised the importance of building alliances and partnerships with other independent funeral directors.
He stressed that by working together, small firms could create shared visions and serve the bereaved community with a unified approach. This, James added, might involve pooling resources in terms of sourcing land, building costs (planning and architects) and demographic research. However, he cautioned that commercial partnerships were not a quick fix, although they did have the potential to produce long-term gain.
Medical examiners and the funeral profession
Dr Jason Shannon, lead medical examiner for Wales, provided helpful insights into the new medical examiner system in England and Wales. He highlighted the crucial role of medical examiners in
scrutinising, documenting and reporting on deaths. The session sparked important discussions among delegates regarding the responsibilities of attending practitioners, coronial delays and the involvement of medical referees.
Insights and feedback gathered during this session will be addressed by the Chief Coroner’s Office and National Medical Examiner.
Family business succession planning
Mairi Mickel, a generational family business member, shared her expertise on the challenges and opportunities associated with family business succession. She emphasised the importance of building empathy and creating a succession plan that considers the emotional and financial needs of all family members. For instance, older members might be given important roles linked to a family charitable trust or community engagement.
SAIF members interested in this topic are encouraged to join the ‘Future proofing your family business’ webinar on 6th November at 3pm, when Mairi will lead a strategy session with SAIF National President Declan Maguire. If you’re reading this after 6th
November, you will find a recording of the webinar in the members’ area of the SAIF website.
The rise of women in funeral leadership
SAIF’s Women in Business Club, launched by past presidents Helen Wathall and Jo Parker, aims to provide support, mentorship and networking opportunities for women in leadership roles within both funeral directing and supplier businesses. The club will offer two in-person and four virtual meetings each year, as well as an exclusive LinkedIn group. The first virtual meeting will take place in Decemberdetails are available from the SAIF Business Centre.
Business
strategy and digital engagement
Karen Trickett, of Mighty Atoms marketing agency, led an interactive session on refining business purpose, values and vision. She discussed the growing importance of digital engagement in the funeral industry, highlighting the fact that 80 percent of consumers were now researching funeral services online before making a purchase. The session provided delegates with practical strategies for capturing these online customers and developing effective digital marketing campaigns - increasingly important following the rise of digital direct cremation providers.
The future of funeral plans
A panel discussion chaired by Declan Maguire and
featuring CEOs from Golden Charter, Golden Leaves and Ecclesiastical explored the current state and future prospects of the prepaid funeral plan market. The panellists discussed the potential for consolidation, the impact of direct plans and the possibility of new entrants to the market. There was a sense that over the next decade, as direct plans matured, there would be a “bounce back” to traditional funeral types.
Commenting on the day, SAIF National President Declan Maguire said: “It was incredibly inspiring to see so many funeral directors from across
the country come together to exchange insights and learnings from their vital work caring for bereaved families.
“As our cherished profession continues to evolve at an unprecedented pace, the conference equipped delegates with the tools and knowledge they need to thrive in the years to come. And rest assured SAIF will be a partner to independent funeral directors in every step of that transformative journey.”
Ross Hickton, SAIF First Vice President closed the day, thanking all those who attended.
SPONSOR PRESENTATIONS BOX
GOLDEN CHARTER
Mark Huggins, CEO gave an update on marketplace growth and shifting consumer attitudes, highlighting the plan provider’s ‘winning together’ strategy.
SAIFINSURE
Brian Hart, who has been in business for 30 years, provided an update on SAIFInsure, reiterating that there were no admin fees for adjustments / services with his funeral profession products and services. He revealed that a new engineering service support offering was due to launch in 2025 and this would include Electrical Inspection and Condition Reports (EICR).
WESTERLEIGH-OBITUS
Westerleigh-Obitus presented exciting plans for immersive funeral services, which include innovative visual, audio and personalised elements. These new offerings are designed to provide families with unique and meaningful experiences during the funeral process.
Ramblings from the Cleaner...
But what do you actually do?
So, everyone has an idea in their head of what I do as a death cleaner, the cleaner that comes in after someone dies. I help make safe environments and I help take away some trauma after death. I have always taken it for granted that, when someone contacts me, I come out and do my job without question, I clean up the offensive, I dispose of the hazards, I tidy, I pack, organise, I listen, talk and comfort. I assumed people understood what I do. I was very much corrected when a lady contacted me after the death of her mother. She had a hundred questions and then asked the same questions a hundred different ways, at first, I felt she didn’t trust me, I felt she was trying to trip me up. She wanted me to view the property, give her a quote and a breakdown of the process, this never happens to me, I’m so used to just going straight out and doing the job with the particulars being sorted at the end. This made me feel like she didn’t really want me to help.
After numerous phone calls, visits and emails I was very wrong. This lady was young and lived in another country, this was the first time someone close to her passed away, this was her mother. She had never had to deal with anything like this before, she was anxious, she was cautious, but she was dealing with grief the
only way she knew how to, by having her mind in work mode, breaking it down like a project she could control.
This has led me to realise that not everyone knows or understands what my specialist cleaning service actually means. Not everyone is ready to just hand it over to me to let me get on with it.
So, what is it I actually do?
Well, I listen, I listen to the story, who passed away, what happened, where their home is, when and how they think it happened and why they want me to help. I talk, comfort and reassure that I can do it and that I am there to help from that moment on. We discuss the conditions of the home and what needs to happen and in what order.
Usually someone will meet me outside the deceased’s home with a key, we have a chat and if I can help it we will laugh and they feel relieved. Most people do not want to go back into the house at this stage so they might ask me to get a few items or look for something in particular. I also encourage them to leave as seeing me in full PPE isn’t the most pleasant memory they should have.
Then I get to work. I clean the most offensive or harmful areas first. Bodily fluids or decomposition affect areas differently,
sometimes I have to remove beds and carpets or sofas and flooring, I do actually do most of this myself although sometimes I do need one of the guys to come help me lift heavier items. Everything that is deemed a biohazard is pallet wrapped inside the house for correct handling and disposal but also for discretion when moving it into the van. After this I can move on to a general clean and tidy, I stack paperwork, empty bins, empty fridges of perishables, clean bathrooms and kitchens to make everything a bit more comfortable and pleasant for the families to deal with. Sometimes carpet cleaning happens at this stage too, depending on the situation. At this stage it is most important that it still looks like that person’s home, it has to be ready for the family to come in and start to go through things and process the death. Usually after this I am not needed for a number of weeks sometimes months until death certificates and probate records are issued. In that time the family have all been to collect their mementoes and are ready for the home to be cleared out and deep cleaned. Sometimes there isn’t a big family or the only relative is elderly or not able to go through
things themselves, so I do that on their behalf or alongside them, only on the condition that there will be tea and buns of course!
I will donate what I can to charity but I also re home items to some of the people I clean for, in the other half of my business. These people need furniture or electrical items some even need clothes, I find that it comforts the family to know that I have people in need that will directly benefit from their loved one’s belongings. I do not sell anything; I feel that would be incredibly disrespectful. If I cannot give it to someone who needs it, it goes to the charity shop or recycling centre.
Once I have an empty property and it has been deep cleaned ready for sale, that’s usually where my services end. People can ring me anytime to ask questions, to ask for help or advice I will do my best to help them.
We deal with grief in so many different ways, I’m just the cleaner that comes alongside to help pick up the pieces and literally mop up the debris.
Alana x
SPECIALIST CLEANING SERVICES
FOR AFTER A DEATH
Alana Gillen
Changing with the times
- By Ian FeeCelebrant Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan
My first experience of funeral directors was long before I ever encountered that term. Back in 1978 when my maternal grandmother died, it was undertakers, not funeral directors who came to our house to make the arrangements. As a seven-year-old whose mind was full of the technicolour wonders of movies, TV shows, comics and books, the sudden appearance of these solemn men, who looked like every vestige of colour had been drained from them, was a grave (pun definitely intended) addition to our home for those couple of bright but cold February days.
Over the years, and as the term Undertaker has largely been laid to rest in favour of Funeral Director, I’ve met many more dark suited men (and more recently women) who have appeared at the doors of homes around towns and parishes I’ve lived and worked in, taking in hand the serious task of guiding another family through some of the most difficult days of their lives.
It’s not just the job title that has changed. The nature of the work while fundamentally the same has developed and evolved to the point where the funeral director’s many hats could now fill a shop window and with that variety comes a greater sense of the versatility in the role, of how the modern funeral director can respond to so many of the bereaved loved ones’ needs, or at least look to their ever-increasing network of professionals and suppliers who can help them fulfil the last wishes of the one who has died.
Have you ever stopped to consider which and how many of these incredibly varied roles you have lived out? Which of them come easily to you? Which of them do you find more personally challenging? Given the unpredictable nature of our work, we can find ourselves thrust into a situation that doesn’t give us much time to consider what we will need to bring to it, what we will need to unpack from our own assortment of tried and trusted resources.
During our quieter days, and again, we never
know when these less busy spells will come, it can be a good practice to take stock, not just of coffins and tyres and urns, but of the support people and services you call on, whether it be florists, embalmers, musicians, grave diggers, celebrants, printers, etc.
Directors, whether on a film set, of a choir or like the conductor of an orchestra set the pace and tone, they dictate the energy given to the project and are the person who looks to those assembled to enable them to deliver on what they have promised. So it is with funeral directors. They rely on those who help them carry out the arrangements and expect them to bring their expertise to it so that together the very best can be offered to those in need. Appreciating your own role as director, acknowledging the help you need and receive and ensuring that you have around you what and who you need to be your best are all parts of making this increasingly significant role everything it can be. It’s no longer just about undertaking to arrange a funeral. It is directing the community around the deceased, both the personal and the professional to ensure that their farewell is meaningful, dignified and worthy of their memory.
So, as Christmas approaches and we look back on how 2024 has been, it’s a good time to reflect on the challenges our work has presented to us this year, as well as the new opportunities those challenges have afforded us and as it’s the season of good will and thanksgiving, spread some Christmas cheer in acknowledging those who have helped and supported your work, and whose assistance you’ll rely on again in 2025.
NAFD Member Benefits
Bu siness Advice & Suppor t
• Client Will search facility *
• Repatriation Helpline *
• *
• Stationery solutions
Financial
• Fleet breakdown cover *
• Fleet insurance *
• Perfect Choice Funeral Plans *
• £5m professional indemnity insurance *
• NAFD Energy Club
Category A
England, Wales, Nor thern Ireland, Scotland, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands
Category B
* Category A members only
• NAFD Telecoms
• NAFD Legal Advisory Service
• Counselling helpline for staff/family
• Property Planning Advice
• Health & Safety advice
• PR Handbook and PR Helpline
• Merchant card services
• NAFD Fast Track Debt Recovery Service
Knowledge Shar ing
• Networking opportunities through Area Federation and Local Association meetings
• Conference and Autumn General Meeting
• Member website
• Attendance at National Funeral Exhibition (discount on stand space if exhibiting)
Professional Credibilit y
• Code of Practice and client dispute resolution service, NAFD Resolve *
• Listing on funeral-directory.co.uk *
• Listing on supplier member search on NAFD website
• Use of logos and marketing collateral
• £150k employment claims insurance
• £150k H&S prosecution insurance
• £150k HMRC & VAT investigation insurance
• Personal/commercial insurance discounts
• Royal Mail Same Day Service
• Parliamentary campaigning
• Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly
• Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly
• Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly
• Monthly e-newsletter
• NAFD social media
• Regular e-communication updates on important issues affecting your business
Professional Development
•
• Election to NAFD boards/committees
General
• Volvo schemes offering preferential rates *
Category C Benefits
• Discount on stand space if exhibiting at the biennial National Funeral Exhibition
• A listing in the overseas member search on the Association’s website
• Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly
• Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly
Category C
Overseas
• Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly
• Use of NAFD overseas member logo
• Invitation to attend the NAFD Conference and Annual General Meeting.
NAFD News
NAFD welcomes Fuller Inquiry call for statutory regulation of the funeral sector
On 15 October 2024, the Independent Inquiry into the Crimes of David Fuller published an interim report into its phase II investigation into care of deceased people in non-hospital settings, including funeral homes.
In the report, it has called for the statutory regulation of funeral directors. Sir Jonathan Michael, Chair of the Inquiry, said: “I had originally intended to publish my findings and recommendations on the funeral sector as part of the Inquiry’s Phase 2 Report. I have, however, expedited the Inquiry’s work in this area, in light of the recent distressing reports of neglect in the funeral sector.
“For most people, their experience of funeral services happens at some of the most difficult times in their lives. They are vulnerable in their grief and distress. We often trust our recently deceased into the care of funeral directors, expecting that they will be treated with kindness, dignity and respect.
“Based on the Inquiry’s examination of the funeral sector, it is fair to say that, in most cases, this is true. The funeral directors I have met in conducting this Inquiry have been caring and professional. However, sadly, there are exceptions.
“It is clear to me that many people believe or assume that the sector is already regulated, and they are shocked to find this is not the case. The fact is that anyone can set themselves up as a funeral director. They could do it from their home and keep the bodies of the deceased in their garage without anybody being able to stop them. That cannot be right.
“My hope is that publishing this interim report
now will assist both the Government and the funeral sector itself to take steps that assure the public that care in the funeral sector is fit for purpose. We need a regulatory regime that will not tolerate any form of abuse or any practices that compromise the security and dignity of the deceased.
The NAFD has responded to the report, welcoming the recognition of the high standards already achieved by many funeral firms and joining the call for mandatory oversight of all funeral directors.
Andrew Judd, NAFD Chief Executive Officer, said: “The NAFD welcomes and shares the Fuller Inquiry’s call for an independent regulator for the funeral profession. The vast majority of funeral directors are compassionate, and operate with integrity to extremely high standards – and we are pleased that has been recognised by the Inquiry.
“However, we have always been acutely aware of the limits of voluntary regulation and stand ready to support the Government in its next steps to propose the right regulatory structure; we would like to ensure it includes a robust code of practice, a requirement for Continuous Professional Development, independent redress and a comprehensive inspections regime. It will also be important that it is proportionate and able to be met by businesses of different sizes and structures to preserve consumer choice.”
Shape the future at the NAFD Autumn General Meeting 2024
Registration is now open for the NAFD’s 2024 Autumn General Meeting, which will be held at the Drayton Manor Resort and Hotel in Staffordshire on Thursday 28 November.
Members are warmly invited to join their friends and colleagues at this key membership event. Chaired by NAFD President Jenny GilbertTrigg, the Autumn General Meeting will provide members with an opportunity to come together to discuss key issues at a challenging time for the sector in all four UK nations and review the next phase of the NAFD’s bold and ambitious Five- Year Strategy to shape a robust and successful future for NAFD members in a fastchanging funeral sector.
This is your chance to shape your future, to make sure the needs of your business are well understood and represented by the NAFD in its discussions with decision makers and to chew
over key issues with funeral sector colleagues from across the UK.
Booking is open now via a dedicated booking link accessible via the webpage below and spaces are limited, so make sure you book early to secure your spot.
The General Meeting is a member-only event and is free to attend, or just £25 inclusive of lunch.
www.nafd.org.uk/autumngm2024
In the news: Fuller, livestream scams, Medical Examiners and the Law Commission
In September, NAFD Past President Abi Pattenden appeared on 12 local BBC radio stations explaining the new Medical Examiner system and offering advice to people who have been bereaved. Abi also supported the NAFD by providing a funeral director’s perspective on the Law Commission’s proposals to reform burial and cremation law in an interview that Wordsmith Communication, which runs the NAFD press office, set up with BBC Breakfast on the morning that a public consultation was published by the Commission.
NAFD Chief Executive Andrew Judd was interviewed by Sky News reacting to the
publication, in October, of the interim report of the Independent Inquiry into the crimes of David Fuller, which has recommended
NAFD News
that funeral directors be subject to statutory regulation.
In recent weeks, we have also secured additional coverage for advice to the public on how to avoid the growing issue of scammers targeting funerals with fake livestream links and are in discussions with a number of news outlets about potential stories on delays affecting bereaved families due to bottlenecks in the death management pathway. These stories typically take weeks, even months, to come to fruition, and the NAFD is always keen to hear from members with case studies showing
the impact of significant delays on bereaved families.
NAFD continues to press on NI burial procedures issues
The NAFD Northern Ireland Executive is continuing to meet local authorities regarding issues relating to burial procedures. Following a response from the Causeway Coast and Glens Borough Council to a Freedom of Information (FOI) request, which was felt not to have addressed the concerns of the Association, NAFD president
is setting up a meeting with the council to discuss the increase in cemetery fees that was agreed by council earlier this year.
The FOI asked for all documentation that were provided in the proposal to increase fees, but the Council declined to provide this information, stating that the item was discussed “in committee”
and therefore legally exempt from FOI. It added that it cannot therefore be subjected to a public interest test.
The deadline for a response to the consultation changes to cremation regulations has been extended until midOctober – the NAFD Northern Ireland Executive has compiled a response on behalf of the membership.
The NAFD brings IFSO inspection team back in house until next steps on Government regulation are clear
On Tuesday 1 October 2024, the four Independent Funeral Standards Organisation (IFSO) inspectors returned to National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) employment. The remit of the NAFD Inspectorate team remains the same and member funeral homes should experience no difference in the quality of inspections and oversight provided.
NAFD Chief Executive, Andrew Judd, said: “In 2021, the NAFD took the bold decision to try to create an independent regulatory body for the funeral profession, in the public interest, when it became clear that the Government of the day did not intend to do so.
“However, IFSO’s long term success was always
NAFD News
dependent upon two things: its ability to become financially sustainable and truly independent, becoming a regulator for funeral homes outside of NAFD membership too - and a clear policy direction from Government supporting the mandatory oversight of standards.
“Until this policy direction emerges from the new Government, the NAFD’s Governing Board has decided to bring the inspection of our member premises in-house, ensuring we continue to deliver high-
quality oversight efficiently and effectively. IFSO, as a community interest company, is now dormant; ready and waiting until such time as it is required again.
“We remain extremely proud of the ambition which underpinned the establishment of IFSO. The NAFD acted in the public interest in trying to provide a solution to the need for independent oversight and assurance, as we do not believe self-regulation goes far enough in providing quality assurance to bereaved people.”
One-day mortuary management training workshops
The NAFD, in partnership with NHS North Tees and Hartlepool, is running two different one-day training workshops to support funeral professionals in achieving excellence in mortuary management and the care of deceased people:
• Funeral Services Operative (FSO) Quality and Compliance – designed for FSOs, drivers and bearers
• Mortuary Operations Quality and Compliance –designed for funeral directors, mortuary managers and supervisors
Delivered online and over six hours, the new updated quality and compliance training has been designed to embed the Funeral Director Code into daily routines by working with the quality-managed processes.
There are two versions of each workshop available for funeral professionals, one for England, Wales and Northern Ireland and one for Scotland, both delivered by an experienced NHS pathologist trainer and an NAFD funeral training professional through a series of tailored presentations, discussions and activities.
Assessment takes place throughout the training, concluding with an online assessment providing a final demonstration of proof of learning. Delegates will receive a Certificate of Training worth six CPD points upon completion of the workshop. Training fees are £295 per workshop. To find out available dates and enrol visit: www.nafdeducation. org.uk.
NAFD supports members with
changes to death certification in England and Wales
As part of preparation for the long overdue changes to the way deaths are certified in England and Wales, which subsequently came into force in September, the NAFD held a webinar for more than 230 members to discuss the new processes and some of the key issues facing funeral directors.
Andrew Judd, NAFD Chief Executive said that the new medical examiner system will, in time, improve some of the issues that
NAFD News
bereaved families experience following a bereavement and ensure the cause of death is thoroughly and independently scrutinised. “However, he continued, “as with any major legislative change - and particularly in an area where there are already systemic problems, resource issues and other complexities – the new system will take time to settle in and will, almost inevitably, exacerbate some of the delays being experienced by bereaved families. Funeral directors, crematoria, GPs, coroners,
and others working in the death management process have had very little time to get to grips with the new guidance to prepare, but the National Association of Funeral Directors is working hard to secure all the information we need from Government and provide clear advice and support to funeral directors and bereaved people during what we expect will be a challenging few weeks.”
Supporting funeral firms in getting ready for regulation in Scotland
Follow NAFD Education on social media!
For all the latest information about NAFD learning and development courses and programmes including new courses and course dates, examination advice and support, new content and updates to NAFD Inspire and much more, please give NAFD Education’s new social media channels a follow – and pass the details to students, as well as colleagues in Learning and Development roles.
We’d also like to encourage students to share their experiences and successes with the NAFD’s site of education programmes by using the #nafdeducation or #dipfd hashtags so that the NAFD can share and help celebrate your success too!
NAFD Scotland has released a series of video podcasts and a monthly newsletter to support members to get ready for regulation and the introduction of the Scottish Government’s Funeral Director Code of Practice.
The Association hosted a webinar in September for members to run through the Code and ask questions. There was also a special edition of FDM in November, focusing on the new Code, which comes into force in March 2025, as part of the NAFD’s support for members in getting ready for regulation.
Jennifer Muldowney is an International event planner for memorials based in the United States of America. Known as The Glam Reaper, Jennifer blends her extensive education in business, communications, and bereavement with a passion for modern memorial planning. As an award-winning memorial planner and speaker, she has made a significant international impact in the funeral space, advocating for personalised, and environmentally conscious funerals and digital legacies. Check out her Tedx Talk ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’ or Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.
By Jennifer Muldowney
NFDA International Convention
The 2024 National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) International Convention & Expo, held from October 20 to 23 in New Orleans, Louisiana, brought together funeral service professionals from around the globe for a dynamic blend of education, networking, and innovation.
Attendees had access to over 30 workshops covering a wide range of topics pertinent to funeral service. Keynote speakers included Amy Herman, who presented “The Art of Perception” on October 21, and Jason Arday, who delivered “You Can’t Start a Fire Without a Spark” on October 23.
The Expo Hall featured more than 300 exhibitors showcasing the latest products and services in the funeral industry. Notably, over 25% of these exhibitors were first-time participants, highlighting the evolving landscape of funeral service offerings. I personally could not help but notice the
massive increase in funeral femmes at the expo! Hooray on that.
The convention hosted several notable events:
• All-Star Recognition Ceremony: Celebrated the achievements of funeral service professionals over the past year.
• Funeral Face-Off: A trivia competition led by the charismatic Gabe testing attendees’ knowledge of funeral service. Well done my gal Regan for her team taking the top spot!
• 24th Annual Funeral Service Foundation Golf Classic: Raised funds to support initiatives that strengthen funeral service and support grieving communities.
• Service of Remembrance: Honored the memory of funeral service family members who passed
away during the year, incorporating elements from traditional New Orleans funerals. Check out my social media channels for videos on this gorgeous showcase.
• International Reception: A networking event for professionals who come from afar. This is a personal favorite event of mine and a great time to meet with folks from South America, Asia, Australia and my European brethren. The convention underscored some notable trends in our industry:
• Investment Interest: There was a notable presence of venture
capitalists and private equity representatives, indicating growing external interest in the death care sector.
• Regulatory Environment: Discussions highlighted ongoing deliberations by the Federal Trade Commission regarding the “Funeral Rule” and potential Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) regulations concerning formaldehyde use in embalming.
• Preneed Services: Funeral homes are increasingly leveraging preneed services to build market share, emphasizing the importance of brand recognition in attracting prearranged services.
• Alternative Disposition Methods: While options like green burial, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction were represented, the focus remained on traditional services, with alternative methods still emerging in
the market.
In a significant (read scandalous) development coinciding with the convention, Tribute Technology announced the resignation of CEO Charlie Cole, Chief Financial Officer Frances DeBlasio, and Head of Transformation Alex Cross. These departures, effective immediately, occurred less than two years into their tenures and shortly after the conclusion of the NFDA convention. You can draw your own conclusions on that one.
The NFDA has announced that the 2025 International Convention & Expo will take place from October 26 to 29 in Chicago, Illinois, promising another opportunity for funeral service professionals to engage, learn, and innovate, I would love to see more of an Irish show at the next one.
Funeral Directors attended an information evening on Thursday, 17th October held by Cancer Fund for Children at Daisy Lodge in Newcastle Co. Down. The aim of the evening was to show funeral directors around the services provided by the charity so that they would have a better insight into the work the charity do, and be better equipped to inform families who choose this charity for donations in lieu of flowers.
They learned, Cancer Fund for Children is a charity set up to ensure that all young people (aged 0-24) across the Island of Ireland have access to the right support, at the right time. They provide emotional, social and therapeutic support to children, young people and families impacted by cancer, at home, on the hospital ward and at their
therapeutic short break centre, Daisy Lodge in Newcastle, Co. Down.
At Cancer Fund for Children, they understand the devastating impact a cancer diagnosis can have on the whole family and aim to provide vital services, so families don’t have to experience this alone.
Rather than receiving funeral flowers, many people now prefer to ask family and friends to make a donation to charity when a loved one passes away, as a special way to pay tribute to the deceased. By choosing Cancer Fund for Children, your families’ loved ones will be helping to empower, connect and strengthen families experiencing cancer and providing support when they need it most.
Families can also set up their own JustGiving Tribute Page. Another way to help Cancer Fund for Children is by leaving a gift in your Will. Even 1% of an estate, can make a huge difference to children and young people living with a cancer diagnosis.
If you would like more information to pass onto your families, please visit: www.cancerfundforchildren.com. Email: info@cancerfundforchildren.com or call T: +44 (0)28 9080 5599
Our elegant condolence book - a heartfelt way to honor a loved one’s life. Invite friends and family to share cherished memories and messages of support. Made with high-quality materials, this keepsake o ers lasting comfort and celebrates a life well-lived. Preserve their legacy with words that will be treasured for years to come.
Kidney Research Christmas appeal
As we embrace the spirit of giving this Christmas season, the Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund invites you to join our Christmas appeal. For over 50 years, we have been dedicated to raising funds for life saving research into the causes, treatment, and prevention of kidney disease. Thanks to the incredible support of our fundraisers, this year we are proud to announce that we have invested more money than ever into vital research initiatives.
Gift of Hope
This Christmas, we are honoured to pass on the Gift of Hope to all kidney patients. Our commitment to funding groundbreaking research means that we can offer support to leading clinicians and scientists in Northern Ireland. A remarkable 90% of all money raised directly contributes to research efforts right here at home, ensuring that our community benefits from advancements in kidney care.
Your Contribution Matters
Every pound donated makes a significant difference. Without research, there is no progress; without progress, there is no hope. This Christmas season, we invite you to contribute to our Christmas appeal. Your generosity will not only aid in the development of new treatments but will also provide invaluable support to those who are battling kidney disease.
How to Help
For more information
Email Susan Kee (NIKRF Chair) susannikrf@outlook.com
Lighting the Way for the Future
Our slogan, #LightingTheWay, reflects our mission to illuminate the path toward a future free from the burdens of kidney disease. Over the years, we have been able to support numerous innovative projects that have the potential to transform the lives of kidney patients. However, we cannot achieve these goals without your support.
If you are able to support our cause this Christmas, please consider making a donation. Whether large or small, every contribution brings us one step closer to achieving our mission of improving kidney health and enhancing the quality of life for patients.
A Heartfelt Thank You
We would like to take this opportunity to express our deepest gratitude to everyone who has supported the Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund over the years. Your generosity fuels our passion and empowers us to continue our important work. Together, we can make a lasting impact on the lives of kidney patients and their families.
Join us this Christmas in making a difference. Donate today and help us light the way toward a brighter future for kidney research.
Success clouded by failure
By Dr Bill Webster
“In our lives, you shuck off all the triumphs but hang on to the rejections.”
I love reading biographies, and I was surprised to find the above statement in “Making It So”, the autobiography of Patrick Stewart, better known as Captain Jean Luc Picard. Mr. Stewart had a successful career as an actor from the age of sixteen; for forty years with the Royal Shakespeare Company; celebrated artiste of the West End and Broadway stages; the star of many movies including “X-Men” and the “Star Trek Next Generation” series, as well as his iconic role as Captain of the Enterprise in the Star Trek TV series. That’s quite a career, by any standards.
And yet he admits he is still haunted to this day by the fact that as a teenager he was rejected by his local Dewsbury Drama Club after a performance that was described as “barely adequate”. ”I have never quite gotten over it,” Mr. Stewart writes. “I still feel what I felt in that moment, which was failure. Why do I cling to that comment after sixty years of acting when I can acknowledge that, all things considered, I have done well?”
He observes, “We actors perversely hold on to the lows that life has dealt us, brushing away the highs.”
I have become convinced that such reactions are not exclusive to actors. There are many of us, myself included, who do exactly the same. In spite of all our accomplishments and successes, we look back on situations and comments that made us feel like a failure, to the extent that everything which to the outward appearance would spell success can be clouded by that memory.
But there is a big difference between being a failure and feeling like a failure, which is the real issue. Several factors may contribute to this:
1. Anxiety over Past Traumatic Events:
Patrick Stewart had a difficult childhood and in his own words was trying “to protect myself from the axe of failure because I was not good enough.” There are times when something in the unconscious triggers feelings of panic, anxiety, fear or despair that relates to some event that affected us in the past. Eventually, toxic material long thought to be buried, seeps its way to the surface. Decades later, the adult may experience feelings of anxiety, yet only dimly aware that their angst may be emanating from the earlier traumatic events long ago.
2. The Stress of Current Events:
Successful people are usually busy people. There is always so much pressure to achieve and we struggle daily under the “tyranny of the immediate and the urgent”. Repressing those “stressed-out” feelings, or not replenishing ourselves and balancing our lives with “down time” or recreation can cause distress. Psychologist Christine Maslach identified one major sign of burn as “A reduced sense of personal accomplishment, feeling ineffective, that your work and results are not really meaningful. Even though surrounded by evidence of success, you feel like a failure.”
3. Fear over Future Outcomes:
Our values, beliefs, our skills and talents, our hopes and dreams, all help define our sense of
self. This is the anchor which stabilizes us and provides a sense of consistency. But every so often, something shakes or challenges that long held concept of self. Sometimes it is as seemingly innocuous as an early assessment of a parent or a teacher that “You will never amount to anything” which burns into a child’s unconscious.
Such anguish may actually be an invitation to change, an inner voice, or impulse inside ourselves that may be the beginnings of finding out “Who I really am”, even at a later stage of the game.
Failure is not an event, it is an attitude. Sometimes we have an unconscious commitment to what was a negative assessment of us, such as “barely adequate”. Sometimes we need to examine these “old messages” and see if they are still relevant or ever were. As G.K. Chesterton said “The chief object of education is not to learn things, but to “unlearn” things
The opinion of others should not be the standard of success. We can’t change people’s opinions. Only they can do that. It is what we think of ourselves that really matters. The good news is that if we don’t like who we are or what we are doing, we can change our own actions and attitudes. You are not a failure unless you think you are.
As Thomas Edison said,” Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
My granddaughter recently asked me to watch the movie “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” with her. We both loved it. My own favorite part of the movie is when the imprisoned inventors and professors, reflecting on their unsuccessful inventions with undefeated determination, sing the song “From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success.”
As I look back on the disappointments and disasters that have affected me in my life, while difficult and painful at the time, they have helped enable me to become who I am today. We should balance the highs with the lows and by doing so, recognize, believe and act upon those which really deserve the most consideration.
Failure never has to be final. Adversity introduces a person to their true selves. Difficulties are meant to arouse, not discourage.
And as Partick Stewart found, in the struggle we find strength. Make it so.
First you hurt, then you heal
Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process.
He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.
This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work.
“First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.
First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.
The Etive Hearse & Limousine
Setting the Standard Since 1953
The reimagined E-Class range from Coleman Milne is built from the ground-up to complement the exquisite styling of the new Mercedes model.
The 214 Hearse offers a host of new features whilst seamlessly blending elegance, safety, and functionality, with timeless design and modern sophistication.
A LIFE AMONG THE DEAD
By Mattie Lennon
David McGowan is a man of many parts who has had, up to now, a chequered career. From working with the dead as a teenager when his father accidently bought a hearse to witnessing a dead gang leader being shot in the head in Chicago. His ‘A Life among the Dead’ is to all intents and purposes an autobiography. The author is not critical by nature but he wasn’t impressed by the educational system in operation when he was in Primary School, “...there didn’t seem to be any purpose to some of the things we laboured over for hours on end. I recall being hit with the edge of a ruler by my first teacher. If a child didn’t have their homework done to her satisfaction, she would make them stand at the blackboard and say, ‘I am a dunce’ to the whole class.”
When a fellow student embalmer in Chicago who didn’t seem all that anxious about learning anything, told him later that he had been assigned to the funeral home to gain intelligence about mobsters, and was wearing a wire at all times, David felt rather naïve. On another occasion when another vehicle collided with the side of his hearse a paramedic who arrived promptly on the scene asked if he had anyone else with him “I innocently replied that I had one person in my vehicle. She panicked and asked how the other person was. I calmly
replied that she was dead. She asked to see them, I presume in the hopes of of reviving them. She got very cross with me when she discovered that my passenger hadn’t died as a result of the accident.”
After one exhumation he discovered that the long held belief that a person’s hair continues to grow after death is not a myth. This book is not all about embalming and the lingering smell of formaldehyde. He also gives vivid accounts of other aspects of his life. “Thousands flocked to Enniscrone for what was a very joyous occasion. ”What were they waiting for? The arrival of a 48 metre long 767. And it arrived; but not by air. David McGowan brought it from Shannon Airport on the Atlantic ocean. If you are sceptical about the existence of a paranormal the chapter headed Unexplained Happenings may change your mind. There are happenings that he doesn’t make any great claims about he just suggests that it’s unlikely that they were coincidences. I feel that Liz Tuttle’s description of herself would fit David, “I’m quite a rational person, but I’m drawn to the irrational. I love coincidences, and I like to question that in fiction: ‘is this random, or is there something working underneath?’
The author doesn’t force anyone to
believe in another world but he had some strange experiences. One day his hearse broke down on a bridge over the river Moy as a large crowd of mourners walked behind it. It cut out and wouldn’t restart. But a ”little push” got it off the bridge and it started. He took it to the garage the next day and, “They had no explanation for what had happened.” But weeks later a son of the deceased told him, “That his dad had often told him that he loved to look
down at the river from the bridge to his favourite spot, the place where he had loved to go fishing in the river. He had often fished with his dad there in the past. “But he had forgotten about his dad telling him, “that when he died, he wanted the hearse to stop in the middle of the bridge on his final journey.”
An A to Z of funeral undertaking and the director’s life story.
Don’t miss it.
• Trade Embalming (straight & PM cases)
• Mobile Service and Mortuary Facilities
• Removals
• Repatriation, Embalming and Cadseal Services
• New Refrigerated Storage Available
• email : sgmarshall@hotmail.co.uk • web: Dereckmarshallandsons.co.uk Stangmore Park, 4a Far circular Road, Dungannon, Co. Tyrone BT71 6LW Simon 07563 828660 • Dereck 07834 091005
2016 FORD MONDEO (HEARSETTE)
5 DOOR FEARGHAS QUINN HEARSE
As the festive season approaches, we would like to extend ou r warmest wishes to our valued customers and partners. We are i ncredibly grateful for your continued trust and support throughout t he year. We hope this holiday season brings you joy, peace, an d c herished moments with loved ones.
