FUSE40 : Mardi Gras & Fashion. Gay Lifestyle (Girl Cover)

FUSE

MADE IN AUSTRALIA FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU APR / MAY 2014

LIFE LOVE 40 24 EQUALITY

SPECIAL SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN

good

PHOTO FEATURE

FEEL

LOOK

MARDI GRAS

WEARING WHAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU

DALAI LAMA OK WITH SAME-SEX UNIONS

+ 3RD ANNUAL OUTGAMES IN DARWIN SUBMERGED AUSSIE GIRLS ON FILM

> IT TAKES COURAGE TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE

CAN WE MAKE MARRIAGE BETTER? RE-ENVISAGE YOUR LIFE WITH ROCKS & SPOONS SUPPORTING LGBTI STUDENTS AND YOUNG PEOPLE

FUSE MAGAZINE MADE IN AUSTRALIA APR / MAY 2014

LIFE LOVE 40 EQUALITY EDITOR Alexander Thatcher

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ASSOCIATE EDITORS Linda Djumlija Yasmin Element

FUSE FEATURES

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Christopher Powell CONTRIBUTORS Scott Malcolm Bebe Backhouse Dwayne Lennox Melisa Paz Philippa Moss Paul Sobczak Megan Munro Rose Pappalardo Suzanne Eastwood PHOTOGRAPHERS Paul Smollen Doug Robinson Wayne C. Style Hamid Mousa Melanie Kelson Rose Pappalardo Angela Trevaskis

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SPECIAL SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN

MARDI GRAS

PHOTO FEATURE P40

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CONTACT FUSE 0412 309 992 hello@fusemagazine.com.au fusemagazine.com.au PO Box 3577 Manuka ACT 2603 Published + designed by: Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd lithium.net.au ISSN 1836-8387

Look good and feel good. Fashion should be something that’s extremely personal and authentically you. No matter the trends, at the end of the day it’s not all about what you’re wearing or even your body shape. It’s about who you are and having the confidence and knowledge to wear what’s right for you.

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The new Australian lesbian film Submerge asks the question “How do you find love in a world of instant gratification?” Come and join us as we dip into a woman’s world of untamed desire and taboo.

FUSE OP.ED 24

With our push to achieve same-sex marriage equality all over the world, Paul Sobcz jumps right into the fire and asks if we can make marriage better by thinking outside the box.

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Megan Munro writes how you can learn to re-envisage and re-prioritise your life with some simple techniques. You’ll need a jar, some rocks and pebbles, a hand full of sand and a few spoons.

FUSE REGULARS 40

WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do not depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the FUSE publisher, editor or staff. Any health, fitness or dietary advice contained in this magazine is for informational purposes only. Consult your physician and a fitness/health professional before changing your diet, doing any exercise program, or taking any supplements or remedies of any kind. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material.

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Editor’s Rant What’s On : Movies What’s On : Events & Shows Round Up : News & Politics Community : Supporting LGBTIQ Youth Money Shot : Crowd Funding Couch Potato : Film & TV Out & About : Cube Nightclub Ear Candy : Music Reviews & News Health & Wellbeing : Testing for Life Out & About : Mardi Gras 2014 Stargazer : Your Horoscope FUSE Community Directory Dear Rose FUSE40CONTENTS

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❂ BEING WHO YOU ARE

Alexander Thatcher Editor

CAN YOU BE BRAVE? As we started putting this issue together it became apparent that nearly every story — and indeed even our photo spreads — had the same subtle yet very important message. If we want to be happy, then we need to be authentic.

No matter what you’re doing; shopping for new clothes, entering into a new relationship, re-evaluating your life, heading to Mardi Gras or even just going out for an evening with friends — be the ’real’ you.

Being authentic means being brave enough to accept yourself as you really are.

At this point we can finally stop seeking the constant approval from others and stop pretending to be something we’re not. It’s something that most everyone struggles with, myself included.

Most of my life I have been insecure and desperate for everyone to like me — no matter the cost — thinking it would make me happy. Trying to be more than I am, withholding what I truly need from others and all too often being fearful to communicate my deeper emotions.

As troubling as it may sound, it’s a realisation that can liberate me.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU Check out the FUSE Magazine website for daily news, videos, special online features, what’s on listings, the latest community up-dates on our popular message board, the FUSE business directory and more!

ADVERTISE WITH FUSE Interested in advertising with FUSE? Call us on 0412 309 992 or email hello@fusemagazine. com.au

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EDITOR’SRANT

I traded my authentic self because of my fear of being judged.

It was not until I saw the suffering that it brings me and others, that I have started to work on being who I really am. It’s not something that happens overnight and being brave enough to ‘be me’ every day is a challenge. It requires vulnerability to be authentic but I know in time it will bring the contentment I’m seeking.

I think being authentic and happy with who we are can be of particular benefit to the LGBTI community, especially our younger community members who are just coming to terms with their sexuality and identity.

Many people struggle with being someone that the world may not approve of. This is very apparent in a new report released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics which shows that 2535 Australians died by suicide in 2012 and that this trend is on the rise.

Although this is only a small piece of the puzzle, it’s incredibly important to encourage everyone to be brave and to be who they truly are and most all to know that who they are is not only OK but wonderful.

I hope everyone enjoys this issue of FUSE. Warmly, Alex “... deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”

American poet E. E. Cummings.

NEVER NEVERMISS MISSAACOPY COPYOF OFFUSE! FUSE! Subscribe to FUSE and have it delivered for only $7 per issue. For more details visit fusemagazine.com.au or scan this QR CODE.

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IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT FACTORY FARMING...

Few people realise that factory farming is the single greatest cause of animal cruelty on the planet today. Visit MakeItPossible.com and join thousands of other caring Australians who are making a world without factory farming possible.

Watch the film.

Sign the pledge.

Inspire others.

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MOVIES

The Grand Budapest Hotel : A five star comedy hotel farce! Ralph Fiennes is just fabulous as the camp concierge and countless rib-tickling cameos make this comedy well worth seeing.

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL : OPENS 10 APRIL

FUSE MOVIE PICK OF THE MONTH!

A prize winner at the Berlin Film Festival, where it premiered to rave reviews. American auteur Wes Anderson’s latest film sees him relocating to Europe between the World Wars and the hotel of the title, where a collection of odd bods (guests and staff) reside. Ralph Fiennes heads an all-star cast (Tilda Swinton, Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan) in a whodunnit of-sorts, which is enhanced by Anderson’s specific sense of humour and typically bold and distinctive production design.

THE OTHER WOMAN : OPENS 17 APRIL Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (better known as Game of Thrones’ King slayer) better watch out when his mistress (Cameron Diaz) and his wife (This Is 40’s Leslie Mann) learn of each other’s existence. And when the pair discover a third woman (Kate Upton), they decide to team up and exact their revenge. Nicki Minaj also features in this comedy by Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook) which sounds like a fun girls night out.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 : RISE OF ELECTRO OPENS 17 APRIL More superheroes from the Marvel universe, this time the red-and-blue web-slinger, Spider-Man. Brit Andrew Garfield dons the tight-fitting suit once more as the unassuming hero, Peter Parker, in this sequel to the 2012 reboot. Director Marc Webb is once again in charge of the action which this time around sees Spider-man facing a new enemy, Electro (Jamie Foxx), whilst juggling his every day commitments, including girlfriend Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). Sally Field, Dane DeHaan and Paul Giamatti also star.

BELLE : OPENS 8 MAY Inspired by the true story of Dido Elizabeth Belle who, as the illegitimate mixed race daughter of a Royal Naval Admiral, was raised by her aristocratic aunt (Emily Watson) and uncle (Tom Wilkinson), the latter whom she inspired in his role as Lord Chief Justice to end slavery in England. But it’s not all racial politics as Amma Asante’s film finds time for some Jane Austen-like romance for Belle (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). Matthew Goode and Miranda Richardson also feature among a top notch British cast.

By Dwayne Lennox

FREE DENDY MOVIE TICKETS : Email us and tell us what you think of FUSE, comment on an article or sign up to the FUSE eNews and you could win free tickets to these fantastic movies. hello@fusemagazine.com.au

FREE MOVIE PASSES KINDLY SUPPLIED BY DENDY CINEMAS CANBERRA LEVEL 2, NORTH QUARTER CANBERRA CENTRE, BUNDA STREET, CANBERRA CITY 261-263 KING STREET, NEWTOWN • SHOP 9, 2 EAST CIRCULAR QUAY, SYDNEY PORTSIDE WHARF, REMORA ROAD, HAMILTON WWW.DENDY.COM.AU

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WHAT’SON

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IT’S TIME FOR AGED CARE TO BECOME

INCLUSIVE & COURAGEOUS

At Northside, we’re not interested in maintaining the status quo – we’re all about achieving exceptional outcomes for our clients. Our clients are at the heart of everything we do, and we pride ourselves on establishing and providing services that are collaborative and creative.

HOW WE DO THINGS SETS US APART Home and Community Care Services are offered to ACT residents by a broad range of services providers.

At Northside we believe it’s how we do things that set us apart. Most importantly, we are constantly looking for ways to deliver better practices in our services for clients.

YOUR EXPERIENCE HELPS BUILD OUR EXPERIENCE We’ve been providing HaCC services to residents of Canberra’s Inner North suburbs for over 25 years now. Our HaCC services include in home support with domestic assistance and personal care, as well as social support to help community members continue to connect with community services and facilities.

This can include home visits, grocery shopping support or even help with getting to the bank or shops.

In the coming months Northside will undertake consultation on new changes we’d like to make to our services in 2014/2015, to make services and staff more responsive to community needs. If you have ideas or questions about HaCC services for you or a family member or friend, please contact us for a confidential discussion. We would love to hear what you’re looking for.

CALL 6257 2255 TO SPEAK TO SUZANNE OR JODI, OR EMAIL INTAKE@NORTHSIDE.ASN.AU

Northside community service, providing exceptional services that support people to improve their lives.

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WHAT’S ON ♥ MENTION FUSE TO GET $10 OFF YOUR FULL PRICE TICKET

ONE BIG FABULOUS TRIVIA NIGHT FRIDAY 13 JUNE, 7.00PM TIL LATE CANBERRA SOUTHERN CROSS CLUB PHILLIP Join Diversity ACT and come along for a fantastic night of fun, prizes and trivia. Dress to scare the pants off someone!

TRUE COLOURS GALA & DIVERSITY ACT PEOPLE CHOICE AWARDS NIGHT DON’T MISS THIS SPECIAL PRODUCTION OF DAVID WILLIAMSON’S MANAGING CARMEN 24 – 28 JUNE THE Q, 253 CRAWFORD STREET, QUEANBEYAN Sports manager Rohan Swift needs to uncover what is troubling his star player. Brent Lyall is at the top of his game and should be on top of the world: captain of the most powerful football club in Australia, but something is holding him back from being the charismatic hero the public and his sponsors expect. Brent hides a secret that will rock the nation.

Acclaimed Australian playwright and national living treasure David Williamson delivers another hilarious football story — this time, with a twist. In spectacular form, Managing Carmen takes a satirical look at the characters behind the nation’s favourite sport — greedy sports managers, champion footballers, bimbo girlfriends and notorious tabloid writers.

After nationwide tours of acclaimed Williamson plays The Club, Let the Sunshine and When Dad Married Fury, HIT Productions has assembled its award-winning creative team once again to bring you this new production of Managing Carmen.

“By full time, Williamson’s witty banter and colourful characters have hit their mark. Williamson deftly plays the field of gender identity politics with style and sequins. Managing Carmen has all the wit of Williamson’s 1978 hit The Club, with a twist.

The audience loved it.” — Caroline Heim, The Australian

SATURDAY 5 JULY CANBERRA SOUTHERN CROSS CLUB PHILLIP Let your true colours shine through at the Diversity ACT Gala night. Fabulous entertainment from all over Australia.

INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA & TRANSPHOBIA — IDAHOT DAY 2014 SATURDAY 17 MAY, 11.00AM TIL 2.30PM GAREMA PLACE, CANBERRA CITY CENTRE IDAHOT day was created in 2004 to draw attention to the violence and discrimination experienced by LGBTI people internationally. It’s now an important date for communities to mobilise on a worldwide scale. Join us on Saturday 17 May for a day of worldwide action.

For more information visit: dayagainsthomophobia.org

YOGA FOR LIFE

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT GREGORY’S YOGA & HEALTH SERVICES P22

Counter the stresses that our busy lives bring to our bodies and minds. These Yoga classes led by Gregory Barnes are suitable for the novice or more experience practitioners.

GENERAL YOGA CLASSES : Tuesday lunch times NUDE YOGA CLASSES (men only) : Monday nights running from 28 April to 30 June 2014 For more details call Gregory on 0419 694 991

BOOKINGS CALL 02 6285 6290 OR VISIT THEQ.NET.AU Want to know what else is happening, visit our ‘What’s on’ section at fusemagazine.com.au WHAT’SON

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ROUND UP CANBERRA LEADS THE WAY IN TRANSGENDER AND INTERSEX RIGHTS The ACT Government’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Queer (LGBTIQ) Advisory Council welcomes the introduction of long-awaited changes to the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registration Act 1997 (ACT).

Amendments made in March will remove reassignment surgery as a prerequisite for a person to change their legal sex.

“REQUIRING A PERSON TO UNDERGO UNNECESSARY, INTRUSIVE STERILISATION SURGERY IN ORDER TO OBTAIN LEGAL RECOGNITION OF THEIR IDENTITY IS INDEFENSIBLE” ACT LGBTIQ Council Chair, Heidi Yates.

THE DALAI LAMA SAYS SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS OK DURING LARRY KING INTERVIEW The Dalai Lama has voiced his support for same-sex marriage and condemned homophobia, saying that sex is fine as long as it is consensual. This is the Buddhist leader’s clearest affirmation of gay marriage to date.

After talking about human rights violations with regards to LGBT individuals, especially in Russia, King asked the Dalai Lama, “What about same-sex marriage?”

The Dalai Lama responded, “That’s up to the country’s law,” but when King directly asked “What do you feel personally about it?” he responded, “It’s OK! I think it’s individuals’ business.”

He added, “If two people, a couple, really feel that way, it’s more practical, more satisfaction, and both sides fully agree, then OK!” And the Dalai Lama added that people should still follow their own religions’ rules on spirituality.

“People who have belief or who have special traditions, then you should follow according to your own tradition. Like Buddhism, there are different kinds of sexual misconduct, so you should follow properly. But then for a non-believer, that is up to them. So there are different forms of sex — so long (as it is) safe, okay, and (if both people) fully agree, okay,” he said.

The Dalai Lama also made clear that he thought homophobia is wrong and is a violation of human rights.

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GOOD NEWS!

“These reforms importantly follow the lead of the Federal Government’s passport policy, which provides an alternate, nonsurgical regime for change of sex on key identification documents” commented Ms Yates.

Significantly, the Bill will also update the definition of ‘intersex’ in ACT law, and provide a clear administrative process for intersex persons to change the sex on their birth certificates.

These reforms implement recommendations from the ACT Law Reform Advisory Council’s 2012 ‘Beyond the Binary’ report, which explores options for legal recognition of transgender and intersex people in the Territory. The Council’s work followed 2010 advice to the Attorney-General from the ACT Human Rights Commissioner, Dr Helen Watchirs, and the Australian Human Rights Commission’s 2009 ‘Sex Files’ report, both of which highlighted Human Rights concerns regarding the existing surgical requirements.

“We know these changes will make a significant difference to the lives of transgender and intersex persons born in the Territory for generations to come.

The Council congratulates the ACT Government on leading the country in this long awaited area of reform.

We encourage other States and Territories to take similar action in reviewing their birth registration systems, with a view to improving recognition of all transgender and intersex Australians” said Ms Yates.

Mr Speaker I strongly want to join my Right Honourable Friend in recognising the joy of many same-sex couples who will finally be able to marry under British law. It’s a great moment, it’s a day which they will always remember and I hope it’s a day the nation will never forget. Nick Clegg, Deputy PM of the United Kingdom

NEWS&POLITICS

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62% : Support for gay marriage has risen from 32% to 43% among black Protestants and from 55% to 62% among white Protestants in the US over the past last year.

2535 : The number of Australians that died by suicide in 2012 — the highest in a decade.

DISNEY TO END FUNDING FOR BOY SCOUTS OVER GAY LEADER BAN

Russian nationalists kick and punch a gay rights demonstrator.

AUSTRALIA INCREASING SUPPORT FOR INTERNATIONAL LGBTI RIGHTS A recent Australian Senate motion on global LGBTI rights regarding decriminalisation of homosexuality in Nauru, signals members of parliament are working to protect the human rights of LGBTI people. Currently 81 countries still treat consensual same-sex conduct between adults as a crime.

In a letter received by Kaleidoscope Australia — a not for profit organisation committed to promoting and protecting the human rights of LGBTI people in the Asia Pacific region the Foreign Minister Julie Bishop said; “... the Australian Government has been in discussions with the Government of Nauru about re-engaging on Criminal Code reform. We will continue to look for opportunities to work with Nauru — through bilateral and multilateral channels — to combat discrimination and promote the human rights of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Australia remains a global advocate of non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.”

ALP Senators Louise Pratt and Claire Moore, and Liberal Senator Sue Boyce, submitted a motion calling on the Australian Government to: • Take all available steps to support the decriminalisation of homosexuality around the world, in accordance with the Universal Declaration of Human rights.

• To support and defend the human rights of LGBTI people around the world.

• Support a Commonwealth charter which defends LGBTI rights in accordance with international law in all Commonwealth countries.

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Disney has announced it will withdraw funding from the Boy Scouts beginning in 2015 unless the organisation overturns a policy banning gay leaders. The Boy Scouts of America voted last year to maintain a ban on gay leaders, but allowed gay youths to join it’s ranks. The founder of Scouts for Equality, Zach Wahls — a group working to end discrimination — said, “We’re never happy to see Scouting suffer as a result of the BSA’s anti-gay policy, but Disney made the right decision to withhold support until Scouting is fully inclusive.”

SAME-SEX WEDDINGS BEGIN IN THE UK On the 29th March the new Marriage Act for England and Wales came into effect and saw the first same-sex couples in England and Wales marry for the first time.

The Scottish Parliament has approved in principle legislation to introduce same-sex marriage this year. The Northern Ireland Assembly is not currently considering any legislation to allow same-sex marriage.

FOUR NIGERIAN MEN CONVICTED OF GAY SEX AND WHIPPED PUBLICLY Four young men were convicted of gay sex and whipped publicly as punishment in northern Nigeria.

The four were among dozens caught in a wave of arrests after Nigeria strengthened its criminal penalties for homosexuality with the new Homosexual Prohibition Act earlier this year.

YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY COUNTRIES w DO STILL CRIMINALISE HOMOSEXUALITY? A new website launched by Kaleidoscope Australia provides clarity regarding which countries continue to criminalise homosexuality and the relevant criminal laws. antigaylaws.wordpress.com

We need to go on and address this issue the way we want to address terrorism. It’s as serious as terrorism.

It’s as serious as any other social evil. Kenya’s parliamentary majority leader Aden Duale, responding to calls for tougher ‘Uganda style’ anti-gay laws, despite pre-existing laws criminalising homosexuality in the country.

NEWS&POLITICS

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Communities@Work and Diversity ACT Community Services Inc are pleased to announce their strategic alliance formed with the purpose of improving the wellbeing and inclusion of the LGBTIQ members of the Canberra community.

This alliance now allows the LGBTIQ Community better access to Communities@Work’s Care&Share program which provides food and essential services to individuals and families in community who are experiencing hardship.

For more information on Communities@Work’s and Diversity ACT LGBTIQ inclusive programs, we invite you to phone or visit our websites.

call 02 6293 6500 or visit www.commsatwork.org or 02 6231 3126 or visit www.diversityact.org.au

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NEWS&POLITICS

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ROUND UP

1 in 10 : The number of Australians that interrupt sex to check their social media accounts according to a recent Galaxy survey.

Sue Murray, Chief Executive Officer SPA said, “The existing uncertainty is hindering the ability of the sector to provide support to those touched by suicide. The new statistics released today highlight that this is no time to be complacent about preventing suicide. Failure to continue to invest in the National Suicide Prevention Strategy will result in a massive loss of expertise, knowledge and connections as skilled workers need to move on to new roles. Worse still, vulnerable individuals will lose their support networks.”

SUICIDE GRIPS OUR NATION A new report released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics shows that 2535 Australians died by suicide in 2012. This is the highest annual number of suicide deaths over the past decade and overall suicide rates are showing no signs of decline.

Suicide is mostly preventable yet it is now the leading cause of death for both Australian males and females aged 15-44 years.

Suicide Prevention Australia (SPA) called on the Australian Government to immediately release new funds under the National Suicide Prevention Strategy saying that “There is no time for complacency.”

The tragic impact of suicide extends far and wide.

Conservative estimates suggest that for every death by suicide another six people are severely affected by intense grief and that this intense grief can continue for many years.

Based on these figures, in 2012 approximately 15200 individuals sadly began a grief journey due to suicide. Suicide death statistics also fail to reveal the immense suffering of the estimated 370000 Australians who think about ending their life every year, 91000 who make a plan to suicide, and the 65000 suicide attempts estimated to occur each and every year.

Researchers have also found that attempted suicide rates and suicidal ideation among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQI) youth is comparatively higher than among the general population. Queer teens and young adults have one of the highest rates of suicide attempts.

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SUPPORTING LGBTIQ STUDENTS AND YOUNG PEOPLE

By Suzanne Eastwood

DID YOU COME OUT AT SCHOOL? MORE STUDENTS AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE COMING OUT AS SEXUALITY OR GENDER DIVERSE DURING THEIR SCHOOL YEARS. Young people are not waiting until they go to Uni or leave home, or move to the big city. This means schools need to develop solid practice responses. This can include treating the young person with respect, offering support appropriate to the individual student and creating a safe school environment free from bullying, harassment, homophobia, and transphobia.

In July there will be a workshop on “Developing Good Practice Responses and Protocols for LGBTIQ Young People in Schools and Youth settings ”. The workshop will be for the school community, teachers, school counselors, and youth workers. It is being developed and presented by a consortium of organisations that want to work together for a positive change for LGBTIQ young people in the ACT. This includes Northside Community Services, headspace, AIDS Action Council, Sexual Health & Family Planning, A Gender Agenda and the Youth Coalition.

In 2014, students and young people should be supported appropriate to their individual needs. The LGBTIQ communities have often identified school as a very difficult place to negotiate successfully. On the positive side students, young people, schools, teachers, counselors, and parents are wanting good quality information, support, and advice so they can do things right. This workshop will help identify what needs to be done to get it right for LGBTIQ students and young people in the ACT.

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FUSECOMMUNITY

“I was a youth worker contacted by a school where a fifteen year old student had told a teacher he was gay.

I was not able to see the student for seven weeks because the school felt it had to check if this was a reportable matter under child protection legislation. When I finally spoke to the student he had just wanted to talk to someone, he had never kissed anyone or had sex. He did not have a problem about being gay. He just wanted some support about telling his family and friends.”

It is important that we hear from students and young people about their experiences of coming out during their school years. If you have a story you would like to share about your experience at school we would love to hear it. We want to create some non-identifying stories with both positive and negative experiences to help workshop participants understand the experience of young people and students in 2014. Please email your stories to comingoutatschool@gmail.com There will be more workshops and opportunities for students and young people to have their say in the next few months, including the opportunity for parents to talk about the support they need. further information about the workshops, b For contact the Facilitator, Suzanne Eastwood at Northside Community Services 6257 2255.

There is more information in this Australian report. Growing Up Queer, Issues Facing Young Australians Who Are Gender Variant and Sexuality Diverse at: youngandwellcrc.org.au

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BUYING THE PERFECT SUIT IfIf your your unsure unsure about aboutwhat whatlooks looksgood good on established woman’s on you you,go gototoaan established men’s store. store. Trained Trainedprofessionals professionalswill willbebe more more knowledgeable knowledgeableabout aboutmake, make, style, style, cut, cut, and and fit fit than thanmost mostof ofus uscan can ever ever hope hope to to be. be. They Theycan canshow showyou you the between traditional, the different difference between traditional, European, European,and andathletic athleticstyles stylesand and which which will willlook lookbest bestfor foryou. you.

When thereare areaafew few When buying buying aa suite suit there simple simplethings thingstotobe beaware awareof.of.

If If itit feels feels too too tight, tight,ititprobably probablyis. is.You You should should be be able able to to fit fit the the flat flatof ofyour your hand hand in in between between your your chest chestand andthe the front front of ofthe thejacket jacketwhen whenbuttoned buttoned and and the the back backvents ventsshould shouldlay layflat. flat.

If If itit feels feels aa little little big, big,ititcan canprobably probably be suits be tailored. tailored. Women’s Men’s suits cancan usually usually in afull whole be takenbeintaken a whole size.full size.

good

FEEL

LOOK

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE WEARING OR YOUR BODY SHAPE. IT’S ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND HAVING THE CONFIDENCE AND KNOWLEDGE TO WEAR WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU. Emporio Armani: Trouser suits that women will want to wear.

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FASHIONFEATURE

Trousers Trousers should should fit fitat atthe thewaist, waist,one one finger finger inside inside the the waistband, waistband,so soyou you have have room room when when you you sit sit and andbend bend over over comfortably. comfortably.

The The correct correctjacket jacketlength? length?Stand Stand with with your yourarms armshanging hangingnaturally naturally at at your sides.

The jacket should your sides.

The jacket should hit just hit justthe under theofcurve your under curve yourof bum. derriere.

The sleeve of the jacket should hit The sleeve the jacket where yourofwrist bendsshould so thathit your where your wrist bends so that your shirt can poke outs — how much shirt can on poke howaiming much for. depends theouts look—your depends on the look your aiming for.

Trousers: a “full break” is the It doesn’tofmatter if you are big bottom the pant altered toand hit tall, compact or athletic, 1” (25 millimetres) abovewith the the floor. right style suite that fits correctly Pleated trousers should have cuffs. you can look a million dollars.

It doesn’t matter if you are big and tall, compact or athletic, with the right style suit that fits correctly you can look a million dollars.

Image by Paul Smollen paulsmollen.com FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

TIPS FOR BUYING A GREAT FITTING T SHIRT ONLINE Check what’ your new prospective T-Shirt is made of? Different fabrics will look and feel very different when on. For instance choose cotton, Jersey or Linen for that casual look and Polyester, Spandex or Lycra for a more tight or tailored look.

Check the cut. If it’s a traditional cut then you can expect a regular T shirt suitable for anyone. A fitted tee will be cut smaller and will be made to hug the body more closely.

Check the measurements.

Most online shops will give both the size and dimensions of the T-shirt. Since different manufacturers have different size ranges a M from one company might fit like an L from another company. In order to get great fit go by the measurements that are given, not the size of the shirt.

When all else fails and you’re still not quite sure what size you should order email or call the seller. They should be able to take help you pick out the perfect size based on your preferences and measurements.

T by silentearth.bigcartel.com

FASHIONFEATURE FUSEFEATURE

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SPORTSWEAR THE COMPRESSION CLOTHING PHENOMENON Sportswear is big business and you’ll notice that lots of girls are wearing spandex suits, shorts, legging or tights for a range of sporting activities. Most of these clothes are considered compression clothing, meaning they squeeze your body. Studies have shown that compression clothes can help your training and even your recovery in many ways. Here are a few of the advantages you’ll get.

More Sustained Power. Researchers believe that compression holds your muscles in place as you go through impact and power moves. With less body jiggle, your muscles are able to be recruited with more ease.

Better Use Of Oxygen In The Muscles. Oxygen is a fuel source for your muscles. The better and more efficient oxygen usage is, the longer you’ll be able to last. This mainly applies to cardio workouts when your body will use oxygen as it’s main source of sustained energy. Compression tights help the muscles maintain more power and activity because the compression helped with more efficient muscle recruitment.

Better And Faster Recovery. Recover is really important when you’re training. The faster you recover, the more you can workout. A few studies looked at wearing a compression sleeve after a series of bicep curls. They found that just by wearing the compression sleeve after a workout helped to reduce muscle swelling (inflammation), helped to ease soreness, and regained maximal joint mobility faster.

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FASHIONFEATURE

SKINS SPORTSWEAR SKINS women’s compression sportswear incorporates cuttingedge design and SKINS scientifically proven compression technology.

SKINS are scientifically proven to improve blood flow, helping get more oxygen to your active muscles so you can go harder for longer again and again without the pain from exercise induced muscle soreness.

Visit SKINS online at: store.skins.net/au FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

BE YOUR OWN

MOMAN Be wary of fashion trends.

If everyone is wearing baggy shorts but you don’t look good in them (or even like them), why buy a pair? So often we get sucked into wearing what’s trendy instead of what looks good on us.

Always wear what suits you and what makes you comfortable — It’s the number one rule when buying clothes. Bad fashion is nothing more than wearing clothes that just aren’t you.

Just because it’s cool or in doesn’t mean you need to follow blindly.

Don’t play it safe, really think about what makes you feel confident and good about yourself. A good piece should make you look fabulous no matter what your shape.

You should wake up in the morning and be inspired by your clothing.

If your standing in front of a cluttered wardrobe and saying: “I have nothing to wear!” it’s time be ruthless and brave.

Pick key items and get rid of the rest! If it doesn’t look good on you now, it shouldn’t be there.

Of course this is easier said than done, so make yourself a deal: for every 20 items you chuck out, you can buy one new killer piece that really let’s the world know who you are.

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GIRL POWER Brisbane girl Marty Tunaley and her girlfriend Jaime Sky have recently launched their own clothing brand for women.

The collection includes, singlets, t-shirts, caps and swimwear in vibrant colours and textures.

Marty says she aims to design clothing that makes women feel empowered and confident.

“It’s thought provoking fashion that carries bold affirmations and statements to open your mind.”

Check out the girls’ complete collection at: silentearth.bigcartel.com

Image by Melanie Kelson

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Girl2Girl is a website for lesbians and bisexual women.

Get the low-down on the down and dirty with lesbian sex 101.

Find out why you should bother with safe sex; how to use latex barriers; how to stay safe emotionally before, during and after sex; and so much more.

Check it out today!

Knowing what you want is an important step to emotional safety

Girl2Girl.info 20

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CROWD FUNDING & THE 3RD ANNUAL OUTGAMES IN DARWIN Our regular readers may remember my article about Collaborative Consumption in FUSE36 where I talked about some new exciting economies. One of these areas is Crowd Funding, which has more than tripled in the last 3 years to be worth an estimated $5.1 billion industry.

So what is Crowd Funding? As it sounds it is a group of people or a ‘crowd’ getting together to provide money to fund a new or existing project. These projects could be social causes, new or existing business ideas and film or performing art projects.

Depending on the terms of the crowd funding this can be an investment in a business that gives you access to a new service or product once it is launched, or can be a donation to a cause or event which you want to support.

There are many crowd funding platforms like Kickstarter and Indiegogo which make their money by connecting the idea people or cause with the crowd and taking a percentage of the funds raised (generally between 3-4% if the funding goal is raised, with discounts to not-for-profit organisations).

For those who have seen the very touching Bridegroom Movie this was made possible through a crowd funded project and all the donors who helped through donations are listed in the credits of the movie. If you haven’t seen this yet you should definitely check it out!

Another great cause (which brings together all my favourite things, sport, human rights and finance) that you can get behind in Australia is the 3rd Asia Pacific Outgames to be held in Darwin from 10th to the 16th of May 2014. The event brings together LGBTIQ athletes, human rights forum delegates and other allies in a celebration of sport, culture and human rights for our community.

The organisers of the Outgames are running a crowd funding project to help raise money to enable greater participation in the OutGames and Human Rights Forum to support scholarships, outreach and event activities. If you want to support a great cause check out the following Crowd Funding link www.indiegogo.com/ projects/celebration-of-45-years-stonewall

By Scott Malcolm Director of Money Mechanics

You can also get involved as an athlete or volunteer in the 3rd Asia Pacific Outgames by checking out the following website darwinoutgames.com.au. If you have a business idea or a creative talent and are looking for some start up funding using crowd funding could be a great way to test the market and raise some capital to get going!

If you need assistance in exploring this further talk to a professional but most importantly start your journey to being free around your money and creating wealth with understanding.

If would like to ask Scott any questions, you can email him at scott@money-mechanics.com.au or call 02 6257 5557. (http://money-mechanics.com.au) Scott Malcolm is Director of Money Mechanics who are authorised to provide financial advice through PATRON Financial Advice AFSL 307379.

The information provided in this article is of a general nature only. It has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

Before acting on this information you should consider its appropriateness having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs.

Photos : David Fairey. 2nd Asia Pacific Outgames Wellington.

MONEYSHOT

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BODYWORK, NATURAL THERAPIES & YOGA PHYSICAL AND ENERGETIC HEALING Gregory has been working in Canberra as a highly qualified Natural Therapist and Yoga instructor for over 16 years. He’s successfully treated a wide range of common physical problems such as; • Injuries • digestive problems • muscles aches • painful joints • stress • post-operative scars • anxiety • depression • phobias • lack of motivation • sleep disorders • fatigue

GENERAL YOGA CLASSES (open to everyone) Tuesday lunch times

NUDE YOGA CLASSES (men only) Monday nights 28 April to 30 June 2014

Meet like-minded people and enjoy the social side of Yoga while learning postures, breathing and philosophy.

Gregory Barnes, Dip. Shiatsu, Dip. Yoga Teaching, Cert. Massage, Cert. Tantric Yoga Teaching, Reiki Master.

Health Fund provider. Based in Red Hill.

0419 694 991

FOR MORE DETAILS CALL GREGORY ON WWW.NATURALTHERAPYPAGES.COM.AU/THERAPIST/32614

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Estate planning CALL Cash flow management TODAY! Wealth creation strategies FIND OUT HOW Salary sacrificing strategies WE CAN HELP Direct share portfolio creation GET YOU ON Budgeting tools & accountability THE RIGHT TRACK Self managed (DIY) super strategies Ethical investment portfolio creation Property investment advice & analysis Public sector super maximisation strategies Debt management & reduction strategies Risk management planning & insurances Structuring assets for best tax outcomes

Money Mechanics is licensed to provide Financial Services Advice through PATRON Financial Advice. ABN 32 307 788 137 AFSL No 307379

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Call 02 6257 5557

money-mechanics.com.au • advice@money-mechanics.com.au

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}potato

KILL YOUR DARLINGS In a dramatic step away from his Harry Potter persona, Daniel Radcliffe steps back into the 1940s and the shoes of gay poet, Allen Ginsberg, in this retelling of actual events which occurred on and off campus at Columbia University and involved murder. Jack Kerouac (Jack Huston) and William Burroughs (Ben Foster) are enthralled by enigmatic classmate, Lucien Carr (an excellent Dane DeHaan), but none more so than the romantic Ginsberg who begins to suspect, much too late, that Lucien has a dark side.

Did you know? : The classic film The Birdcage made by MGM in 1996 has the largest lifetime gross earnings of all gay themed movies at $124,060,553.

Priscilla, Queen of the Desert sits at number 31 with $11,220,670.

THE RAILWAY MAN Adapted from Eric Lomax’s memoir, Jonathan Teplitzky’s drama focuses on Lomax (Colin Firth), who may have finally found love (Nicole Kidman) but may lose his new wife and much more as he continues to grapple with his past. That past involves brutal treatment at the hands of the Japanese in an POW camp during World War II. Beautifully shot, The Railway Man depicts how war doesn’t necessarily end when peace is declared but also how forgiveness can be an even more powerful remedy than revenge.

FUSE DVD PICK OF THE MONTH!

PHILOMENA Nominated for four Oscars, including Best Picture, Philomena tells the story of Philomena Lee who, as a young unwed woman in 1950s Ireland, was forced to give up her son. But having never given up hope of seeing him again, the optimistic and still devout Catholic Philomena (Judi Dench) enlists journalist Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan, who also wrote the screenplay) to help locate her long lost son some 50 years later. By turns comedic and emotional, Stephen Frears’ film may get you angry at the actions of an uncaring Church and in awe of a mother’s unwavering commitment. Available to own on DVD, Blu-ray and Digital HD from April 30.

By Dwayne Lennox

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AMERICAN HUSTLE “Explosion at the Wig Factory” is how Tina Fey and Amy Poehler jokingly referred to David O. Russell’s latest film, which like his previous two — The Fighter (2010), Silver Linings Playbook (2012) — scored the Best Picture-Director nomination double at the Academy Awards. Also nominated were his A-list cast - Amy Adams, Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence - who manage to shine in alternately comic and dramatic roles underneath all the 1970s hair and wardrobe in this story of con artists, FBI agents and corrupt politicians which is somehow based on actual events.

You’ll find all these titles at JB HIFI, online or at all good DVD outlets. Check out fusemagazine.com.au for DVD giveaway details. Reviewed for FUSE by Dwayne Lennox — thelennoxfiles.blogspot.com.au COUCHPOTATO

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By Paul Sobczak

Can we make marriage even better?

There’s one topic that seems to be overlooked in the current discussion about marriage equality. Improvement.

It seems that in our push to achieve equality, we may be overlooking, and even ignoring, opportunities that exist to make marriage a better, stronger and more relevant institution in the 21st century.

Change and marriage go together like, well a horse and carriage. Constant change, evolution and yes, improvement are at the very heart of the institution of marriage. What once used to be an imposed, patriarchal, transactional occurrence has been radically transformed.

It’s now one of our most powerful cultural symbols. It’s based on free choice, commitment and love. Allowing same-sex couples to get married is simply a continuation of a long history of change and improvement.

While it’s fundamentally important for same sex couples to have equal access to this institution, it seems as good a time as any to discuss whether this institution that we’re wanting to join, could benefit from some further improvements (other than our participation in it).

As it stands at the moment, marriage (of the heterosexual kind) has a divorce rate of roughly 50%. That means that one out of two couples that recites the ‘till death do us part’ vows, chooses the escape clause before that fateful event takes place. Unfortunately practice doesn’t make perfect as divorce statistics actually increase for subsequent marriages.

A 50% failure rate of an institution we’re fighting to join is a huge issue. So why are we not talking about it? Is it because we’ve just become so used to it that it no longer rates as newsworthy? Or is it because we think (hope) that it won’t apply to us?…Whatever the answer, ignoring an issue in the hope it simply goes away by itself is not the best approach to be taking.

Let’s talk about it, raise some ideas, get people thinking and hopefully together, we can come up with some changes and improvements to make marriage even better. Here are just a few ideas to get the ball rolling: 24

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Make it time based Is there anything in life that you enter into for life? Education takes twelve years. You get a car loan, that’s 5 years. Even a 25-30 year mortgage has an end date. So, why is marriage the sole exception and the one thing that we’re expected to commit to for the rest of our lives?

It doesn’t really make sense. Life is about change and growth. The person you were in your 20s, will be vastly different (hopefully, at least) than the person you’ll be in your 40s. This isn’t a bad thing or something to try and avoid. If anything, it should be encouraged.

Personal growth is a natural by-product of change. Yet marriage is currently set up as being anti-change. We’re essentially making two people promise to love, look after and honour each other until they die, irrespective of how they, or their partner, changes during this time. That doesn’t seem logical.

So why not remove the ‘forever’ clause from marriage? Let’s make it time based instead. Both parties agree to whatever time frame suits them. It can be one year, or 10, or even just a few months. Then you get married, and stay married, for that time. Lo and behold, the divorce rate drops. In fact, divorce becomes almost obsolete. Obviously it needs to remain an option in cases where it may be needed, but why would you get divorced if your marriage license is up for renewal next year anyway?

By making it time based, it may also stay at the forefront of people’s minds more. It’s easy to take someone for granted if you’re operating on the assumption that you’re going to be with them forever. Not having that certainty of forever though, may make people appreciate each other a bit more, and put a bit more work into themselves and their marriages.

Not a bad thing either, right?

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Pre-nup, pre-nup, pre-nup It might not be sexy and romantic, but neither is losing your house, superannuation or children in an acrimonious divorce.

A pre-nuptial agreement is basically a legal document that states who gets what in the event of the marriage ending. At the moment, they seem to be the domain of the rich, famous and powerful. They should be mandatory for everyone getting married.

That way, at the end of the agreed upon term of the marriage, there are no unpleasant surprises. Each party knows what they’re entitled to and what they’re going to get.

It would be necessary to factor in things such as children into the pre-nup. That way neither party is left high and dry and with kids. Even though marriages could work for a fixed term, children are forever. It’s only fair and reasonable to make long-term plans to ensure they’re looked after and provided for until they reach adulthood and can look after themselves.

Pre-nups also help take the sting out of what is already a pretty prickly time in your life. The emotional impact of a marriage dissolving is traumatic enough without having to fight over assets. Having a predetermined and mutually agreed upon outcome will at least provide a certain degree of certainty and hopefully comfort, in an otherwise painful time.

Pass a test before you apply I find it amazing that so many newlyweds know so little about each other. You’d think people who are about to enter into a lifelong commitment with one another would talk about concepts such as having children, fidelity, even household chores before getting married. It seems this isn’t always the case.

All engaged couples should be required to sit a test which they both have to pass. The test asks them questions about their partner that they need to be able to answer. There are no right or wrong answers, just matching ones. You get asked what your favourite colour is, and your partner answers the same question as well. You pass when both of you answer the same questions in the same way.

There should also be be questions about more serious matters, such as each other’s communication styles.

If you’re the kind of person who needs to be alone for a while when you get angry, your partner (A) needs to know about this, (B) understand how to give you the space you need and (C) know how to raise the matter after enough time has passed so that it can be dealt with and resolved. Mismatched communication styles are one of the most potentially toxic causes for misunderstandings in relationships.

SEE MORE PHOTOS ON THE FUSE WEBSITE

Above: Meg and Anne-Marie were among the same-sex couples that married under the short lived ACT Marriage laws.

“We knew there was a possibility that the marriage legislation would be overturned but made a decision to get married regardless. Continuing with our plans was not because of naivety, nor ignorance, not some strange political campaign; it is because we wanted to marry and believe it should be our right. We are confident that the community shares our view that people who love each other, and want to marry, should.”

Below: Veronica & Krishna on their wedding day.

“It was important to us to have equal and legal recognition of our relationship. Marriage meant we could publicly declare our love to each other.

Even after 16 years of living together and raising a family, we had never had this opportunity.

These are just a few ideas and they’re intended as a starting point. What do you think? What ideas do you have to make marriage even better, or should we leave marriage as it is? We’d love to know! Get involved and join in the conversation at facebook.com/fusemagazine or twitter.com/FuseMagazine FUSEOP.ED

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OUT&ABOUT

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FREE ENTRY & HAPPY HOUR There is nowhere else you should be in Canberra! Come and play at Cube nightclub.

Free entry and happy hour every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night until 11pm.

EXPLODE… GAY STYLE @ CUBE NIGHTCLUB! With its reloaded Foreplay Fridays and Seductive Saturdays, there is something happening every weekend at Cube. Foreplay Fridays now has a VIP guest list, giving those on it priority and free entry. To get on the list checkout Cube’s Facebook page! Also featuring on Fridays is Cubes socialites, tending to your party needs throughout the night so keep a look out! Seductive Saturdays have a new flavour, featuring the Cube dancers, displaying epic dance performances every Saturday at 1.00 am. Special events coming up are Homo High on Friday June 13, and Cubes Got Talent on July 4. If you have what it takes, Cube wants to see it. More coming details soon.

CUBE OPENING HOURS • THURSDAY 9PM - 5AM • FRIDAY 9PM - 5AM • SATURDAY 10PM - 5AM • SUNDAY 10PM - LATE 33 PETRIE PLAZA CIVIC, CANBERRA CITY • CUBENIGHTCLUB.COM.AU

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By Megan Munro

Rocks &Spoons RE-ENVISAGE YOUR LIFE We’ve all heard of the various concepts focusing on needs hierarchy.

Especially those of us who work with people. Some of us may also know about the ‘spoon theory’, which focuses on the idea that each of us has spoons, or energy and we use spoons just by living and getting through our daily lives. People who are unwell will use more spoons than a person who is healthy. We all know what it’s like when we are sick with a cold or flu where we swear we are dying and just cooking dinner is hard.

People with chronic illnesses of various kinds often have this as an ongoing issue. It doesn’t end quickly; it might be something they manage for many years. People who are marginalised or part of any minority group, may also use extra spoons.

These are just a couple ways which have been used to help us work out our priorities as we often get so wrapped up in things and stuff that aren’t important, human beings often seem blown away when we are reminded of these ideas. Really, they are pretty simple.

For someone low on spoons, it takes longer to fill the jar up, so to speak. We can only do so much, we can succeed in filling that jar and having that balance, but it needs to be done more slowly than someone who has a whole cutlery draw. We need to be careful how we use our spoons in order to fill the jar; otherwise the jar itself becomes damaged.

I have thought about my spoons, my rocks and my hierarchy of needs. I am someone who, in the past had a whole cutlery draw, but now I am more limited, I need to prioritise how my spoons are used and which rock, pebble or grain of sand I will pick up with my spoon and put in the jar. I can’t do it quickly and this can cause frustration, but hopefully by ‘getting it right’, it will ensure better health and wellbeing that is more maintainable.

My hierarchy of rocks determines who and what, I need to spend my time on to maintain wellbeing.

You may also have heard of the jar, rock, pebbles and sand metaphor.

The jar represents us ­— our being, the rocks etc are our priorities where the size of the rock determines how much time we spend on that priority.

The idea is that you put the big rocks in the jar first, these are the people or things most important to you, then pebbles... less important, and finally you can fill it all with sand, these are the ‘things’ of least importance to you. This exercise serves to work out whom and what is most important in our lives and how we spend our time. The sand represents things like housework, which is a necessity but not vital to us as people. If we put the sand first, there is no room for the rocks. In other words, we shouldn’t utilise our precious time and energy with things of little meaning or importance in order to prevent running out of time for the important things.

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I’ve had ups and downs with friends over the last few years. I have sorted out who my friends really are. I have been unwell and it’s the people who have stuck by me that I call good friends. Some of them are people I rarely see. It’s interesting, I have lived in Canberra my whole life and there is this sense that a person will always be around. People get ‘too busy’ to catch up and before you know it you haven’t seen them for years and you realise the friendship has basically disintegrated.

I tried to reach out to some people who I liked, who were important to me a few years ago, only to find they were too busy. I consider them gone now, even if they are still within geographical distance. Many people take friendships for granted when they shouldn’t.

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“I’m running low on spoons”

It’s a simple way of communicating to friends and fellow spoonies that you need to rest.

Friends are valuable. I consider my friends very valuable and I often get sad that I can’t spend more time with them.

I try to spread my spoons around with my friends, but as friends are further down the list, they get less spoons, this means I don’t see people I care about often, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care. Seeing friends should be about an exchange of spoons, which can also be a tricky thing for introverted people.

I was once very active in the LGBTI community. Not anymore. It sucked me dry I think and I have moved on to a place where I consider my sexuality and gender as part of me as whole, rather than being at the forefront of what makes me who I am.

It is important to be around community sometimes, this is because a certain amount of energy is exchanged and if done at the right time it can provide a whole bunch of spoons. There are conversations and ‘things’ that the rest of the community just don’t get. It’s important to be around the LGBTI community to validate who we are and provide us with spoons to be able to move about the broader community where others might not understand what it is to be part of our minority. Of course LGBTI is one broad grouping and there are significant differences between the sexuality based and gender based part of this community. Whichever community/ies we are a part of it’s good to be around others to collect up more cutlery from each other and see we aren’t the only splade in existence.

Generally speaking I find attending events where there are lots of people, hard work. This is part of my health issues.

Events or lots of people in one place use many spoons especially if I don’t know anyone. But if the event is well chosen, and I haven’t been to one for a while, they give me great sustenance and a few pieces of cutlery.

This is also why it’s important to reach out to people in the community with mental health issues, other chronic illnesses or disabilities and people of other minority groups who are also queer. It may be very difficult at time for people to attend events. They might feel ostracised or uncomfortable for a range of reasons, however, it is important for the community to try; this will help us build a stronger healthier community with less health issues.

That’s my rocks and spoons theory. One that really has assisted me to re-envisage my life.

Learning from Rocks, Pebbles and Sand A teacher places a glass jar on her table and faces her students. “This is your life,” she says.

“It is yours to fill with whatever you wish.”

The teacher takes a bag of rocks and carefully places them one by one in the jar until it is full. “These rocks are the big important things in your life that you will be the most proud of at the end of your days.”

The teacher then scoops out several handfuls of pebbles from a second bag and lets them fall into the jar, shaking the jar slightly so the pebbles fall into and fill the space between the rocks. “These are the secondary things in your life that gives it meaning, but perhaps are not your ‘life’s work’.”

The teacher then takes a third bag containing sand and pours it into the jar, filling the space between the pebbles. “Finally, the sand is the little stuff that fills our days, like watching TV or playing games.”

The teacher looks out over her students and asks, “Can you see what would happen if I started with the sand or the pebbles?”

PUT IN THE BIG ROCKS FIRST! FUSEOP.ED

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Relationships Australia

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has experienced counsellors, mediators and educators who provide services in a friendly, open and respectful way for all members of our communities. We openly welcome people from the GLBTI communities.

• Enhancing relationships

Our focus is relationships and any issues impacting on you or your relationships in all domains of our lives, including partners, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues or children.

• Family violence

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Relationships Australia also delivers support services for Forgotten Australians and Former Child Migrants, and survivors of child sexual abuse who take part in or are affected by the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.

• Re-partnering and family relationships • Communication issues • Managing conflict • Trust issues

To find out more contact us on

• Sexual difficulties • Grief and loss • Self-esteem & identity issues

1300 364 277 or visit racr.relationships.org.au

A regular cervical screening test could save your life As it helps to prevent cervical cancer – even if you have received a vaccina�on for HPV For more informa�on phone 131 556 (cost of a local call)

www.health.act.gov.au/paptest

© Australian Capital Territory, Canberra, April 2014 www.health.act.gov.au | www.act.gov.au | Enquiries: Canberra 13ACT1 or 132281

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By Rose Pappalardo

Submerged SUBMERGE ASKS THE QUESTION, “HOW DO YOU FIND LOVE IN A WORLD OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION?” JORDAN, A 20-YEAR OLD ELITE SWIMMER HAS TOO MANY BALLS IN THE AIR AND SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE, BUT NOT IF SHE CAN HELP IT. JORDAN WANTS IT ALL AND CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT SHOULD BE SO HARD. SET TO A PROPULSIVE BEAT, THE ALTERNATELY SPARSE DIALOGUE AND FRENETIC EDITING WILL LEAVE VIEWERS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEAT AS THEY WAIT TO FIND OUT IF JORDAN CAN GET BOTH THE PRIZE AND THE GIRL.

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‘‘

An Aussie drama that will submerge you into the murky underground world of untamed desire and taboo — LOTL Magazine

The new Australian film, Submerge by Sophie O’Connor and Kat Holmes is a familiar tale of a high achiever struggling in today’s world.

This lesbian flick is visually pleasing and has a great soundtrack. The story centres around “Jordon”, her swimming, university, family, friends, attraction to her female Assistant Professor and her own expectations of life.

But don’t be deceived in believing this is exclusively a lesbian film — although one of the film’s major elements is sexuality and includes it’s fair share of sexy women and heated moments — the more critical story line is the expectations this young woman faces from herself and her peers.

Jordon’s struggle to juggle the pressures of life becomes evident with predictably disastrous results. Her reach into the world of drugs, sex, partying is the catalyst for self-loathing on her perceived failure. Her struggles draw a sense of great sympathy from this viewer, whilst at the same time cheering for her bravery to explore boundaries in finding her place in the world.

My only criticism (and it’s small) is that the story seemed a bit slow to engage and I felt there were some missed opportunities within the film to drive a clearer message to the viewer. There were some long silences between dialogues, which seemed a little unconformable at times, but on reflection I think they were possibly meant to demonstrate Jordon’s isolation, which certainty worked.

This tale gives viewers a glimpse of what it is like be young in Australia today and how measurable success seems to be the only option. It is little wonder that we look at some of our highest young achievers crash and burn so early in their lives.

Congratulations to Kat, Sophie and their whole team for a terrific film.

Overall Submerge had strong performances, was well made and very enjoyable — definitely worth seeing.

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After seeing the film we could not resist asking Kat Holmes a few questions about their film.

WHAT MESSAGE WOULD YOU LIKE VIEWERS TO TAKE AWAY AFTER SEEING SUBMERGE?

Submerge isn’t a moralistic tale, in that we want each viewer to take away their own message. Perhaps the only strong statement we make (albeit indirectly) is that no one has the right to tell someone else what their sexual identity is, especially not other lesbians. Apart from this, Submerge is simply an exploration of what it means to be young in a modern, consumerist world.

IF YOU COULD MAKE THE FILM AGAIN WOULD YOU CHANGE ANYTHING? In regards to production — yes, a thousand times yes. I’d spend less than 10 years on it for a start! In terms of plot, this is a hard question to answer. As Jordan’s Dad says in the film, “everyone’s got an opinion, and it’s impossible to please everyone.”

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‘‘

A postmodern story, told through different lenses, reflections and refractions. Self awareness and self judgment is a key theme — the modern human condition — as is the exploration of what it takes to break through the surface and submerge into emotional depth. It’s definitely worth a view and community support — Girls on Film

DOES THE FILM IN ANY WAY REPRESENT YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES IN LIFE? Yes, in the sense that I’d like to think a number of moments in the film represent a universal experience of life — the struggle to succeed in a modern world full of choice and challenges, the struggle to love and be loved in return, the struggle to make wise decisions when the way forward is not clear. Also, both the Director (Sophie O’Connor) and I were elite amateur athletes and spent many hours in our teenage years devoted to our respective sports so we both understood that aspect of Jordan well.

CAN YOU TELL US A BIT ABOUT THE TITLE OF THE FILM AND HOW YOU DECIDED ON IT? Sophie suggested it — a genius idea. Submerge is the perfect title for a film that’s about an elite swimmer who is struggling to stay afloat with the many demands placed on her, mostly by herself. The word ‘submerge’ evokes so much of what the film is about and is also akin to immerse, which is what Jordan spends a lot of her time doing —mostly in a face full of trouble! Also, the fact it’s in present tense indicates that we don’t know where Jordan will end up — on top or at the bottom of the (metaphorical) pool.

WHAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT DURING FILMING? The big club scenes were a massive logistics undertaking and it was amazing to see it all come together on the day(s). The scene that was most fun to film was the shopping trolley race scene in the car park. Both of those feature heavily in the Behind-the-Scenes video on the Submerge website. However, the best moment was after shooting the final scene on the final day of the second shoot. It was midnight on a Monday night and many had to return to their day jobs the next day. We all sat on the kerb outside the last location, raised a glass to our efforts and had a mini love-fest about how awesome we all were and what an amazing job we’d done. It was super cute.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SCENE?

SO HOW DEEP WOULD YOU GO KAT?

I have two. The moment when Jordan is curled up in the shower feeling completely overwhelmed.

The music in that scene is exquisite.

And the scene where Jordan and Angie are making out over icecream. It’s such a tender, intimate moment.

What a delicious final question! I went so deep with Submerge that I thought I would never resurface. I tell you it’s great to be breathing in oxygen again. Actually, it seems to be an inbuilt character trait to jump in the deep end of life so no doubt I’ll be diving down again sometime soon.

w

We have free copies on DVD to giveaway to the first five readers to email us at hello@fusemagazine.com.au. Submerge is available on DVD or download. submergethemovie.com, amazon.com.au or at selected independent stores.

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EAR CANDY

By Bebe Backhouse

SIA... JUST MUSIC Aussie singer / songwriter, Sia has revealed that she will be releasing her sixth studio album this May. Taking to Twitter to break the news, she confirmed the album’s release and also added that she’s concentrating solely on the music this time around, squashing any speculation that she’ll be touring in 2014: “I’m putting out an album in may. no touring, no promo. just music. sia furler (@Sia)”

KYLIE MINOGUE KISS ME ONCE Opening with the incandescent lead single ‘Into The Blue’, Kylie is back with her brand new studio album Kiss Me Once.

The overriding theme of this album is quite blatantly sex, as electronic-dance-pop runs through the record, something Kylie fans should now be used to.

“Come on baby, feel the burn, let me see you take it down to the ground, let me see you take it up, let me see you bounce, bounce, bounce” Kylie moans in ‘Sexercise’. ‘Feels So Good’ slows things down a notch, but not enough so that we can hear Kylie’s greatest vocals. It does pave the way for ‘If Only’ however, probably the most experimental and unique sounding track from this collection that starts off great, but — if I dare to say — begins to get a little boring towards the end.

The title track is passionate and absolutely the standout. The chorus is exuberant and packed full of emotion, and so when it’s followed by a collaboration ballad with Enrique Iglesias, you finally get your ‘now this is something I’ll remember’ moment, as the two music heavyweights blend their voices beautifully at moments and electronically at others.

This isn’t another collection of generic pop songs to be taken on by just anybody - they’re Kylie songs. They wouldn’t work without her, and she wouldn’t work without them. Closing with ‘Fine’, it’s that word that can be used to sum up the album as a whole. It’s not her best work, but it’s not her worst. It’s simply fine.

Sia’s last album, We Are Born, was released in 2010, but she hasn’t exactly been slacking off since then ­— in the last few years she’s been an in-demand co-writer, helping artists like the Hilltop Hoods, Afrojack, Eminem, Rihanna and heaps of others pen tracks for their recent albums, not to mention appearing in the soundtrack for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire with the artist The Weeknd (Abel Tesfaye).

OUTKAST ARE BACK! Do you remember the rap duo, Outkast? Well if you do they’re back and will be playing over 40 festivals worldwide this year, beginning with their head-lining appearance at the 2014 Coachella Music Festival. Other than their June appearance at the Governor’s Ball in New York, the group has not yet revealed other locations where they will perform or whether they will land on Australian soil.“It’s truly an honour to celebrate 20 years and still be free to do music the way we choose,” Big Boi said in a statement. “I’m looking forward to rocking the stage with my broski and to all the fans, stank you smelly much. This is for y’all!”

It’s been a long time — April 1994 in fact — since Outkast released their debut album, Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik and nearly 20 years to the day that they will take to the stage at Coachella in California.

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EAR CANDY RYAN DOLAN START AGAIN Last year’s Eurovision hopeful for Ireland — gay boy — Ryan Dolan, who returned home from the competition with no points has a brand new single. Released just weeks after the singer himself publicly came out, ‘Start Again’ was written to raise awareness regarding bullying and suicide problems among young teenagers, in particular among those from the LGBTI community.

ALOE BLACC LIFT YOUR SPIRITS Now signed to Interscope Records after years as an underappreciated indie darling, Aloe Blacc’s ‘Lift Your Spirits’ is a great blend of pop, country and R&B.

“In school I was confused about who I was and it was really hard for me growing up because of that,” said Dolan. “I think my youth was wasted worrying all the time about it. If I had been more open back then I would have been happier.” Penned by Ryan, the song (and video) discusses the sensitive topic of suicide among gay teenagers. In the video, a secondary school student is pushed, shoved, and bullied by classmates who can tell he is gay. Ryan, who has confessed that he once entertained thoughts of suicide himself, really sings from the heart in this emotional track with lines such as ‘I guess life was tough growing up, I didn’t even know if I could make it or not’ and ‘life was hard and I got down, but I got up and carried on’. And there is no message more important than that – no matter how hard life gets, we must carry on.

On the pulsating dystopia warning ‘Ticking Bomb’ Blacc channels the deadpan baritone depths of Johnny Cash, but he belts like a siren on the hopeful and brassy ‘Eyes of a Child’ demonstrating his increasing prowess by holding long, powerful notes with ease.

The Californian singer with Panamanian roots extends his exploration with western flavors to a ‘60s beach party groove on ‘Can You Do This’ smashing two genres that shouldn’t mash well but inexplicably do with resulting infectious fun. The lighthearted and melodically winning ‘Wanna Be With You’ marches with lots of love, feel-good manly declarations, and its own tongue-in-cheek take on the vamp out of Stevie Wonder’s ‘As’ telling listeners all the ways Blacc’s love will endure.

Blacc has delivered a stellar and panoramic album reflective of all of the artist’s disparate influences, interests, and experiences and is competently held together by the steady surety of its lead.

If there are two consistent themes to the journey of Aloe Blacc it’s that socially conscious music need not bore, and everything is on the table when it comes to an artist challenging his own boundaries and limitations in an effort to reach for something true. Cheers to Aloe Blacc for continuing to reach.

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Above: Ryan Dolan and his dancers from Eurovision 2013.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Tilley’s

Devine Café Gallery

For nearly 30 years Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the gay and lesbian community.

LOVE HAS ALWAYS BEEN EQUAL AT TILLEY’S SERVING YOU BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER 7 DAYS. THE CALL IS YOURS! TILLEY’S CAN DO IT FOR YOU!

Monday to Saturday 9am –10pm Sundays 9am – 6pm Reserve your favourite table or booth call 6247 7753 www.tilleys.com.au

CORNER OF WATTLE AND BRIGALOW STREETS, LYNEHAM

Over the years Tilley’s has become renowned for its breakfasts, lunches, dinners and its fabulous coffees.

Tilley’s attracts not only ‘regulars’ but visitors from overseas and interstate who enjoy the all-day menu specials, and oh such lovely cake!

Envelop yourself in an intimate and warm atmosphere clad in red velvet, brass and dark timber booths. With a fully licensed bar, one can enjoy champagne with breakfast, or in the evening savour our broad range of wines, spirits or boutique beers on tap.

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By Philippa Moss AIDS Action Council

WHY AREN’T PEOPLE GETTING

I understand that sometimes people can be afraid of being judged because of their sexual history but really it is the health professional’s duty of care to ensure clients are not judged and feel comfortable.

TESTED?

A new report by the Kirby Institute has revealed one third of gay men aged between 18 to 24 have never been tested for HIV or other sexually transmitted infections. The report discovered few infections occurred between regular sexual partners, but rather HIV was far more likely to be transmitted via casual sex.

Many people have never been tested for any sexually transmitted infections or HIV despite the fact that they are increasingly likely to have unprotected sex.

Nothing in life — or sex — is without risk, and the ever-evolving HIV epidemic continues to produce new ways of balancing HIV risk with desire and pleasure. Statistics show that this year alone there has been a huge increase in new diagnosis of HIV compared to this time last year. This is alarming.

So what is the answer? Firstly, the central message the AIDS Action Council has promoted and reinforced is that condoms provide the best protection against HIV - and THEY STILL DO !!

So I took to the streets to find out why people are having unsafe sex and why they are not getting tested.

The answers shocked me! My research showed that many young people were oblivious to the health messages and the importance of being tested. Many young people I spoke to said they had never been exposed to prevention campaigns. This makes me think that young people really lack knowledge about the risks.

Secondly, NOW is the time to test. You can get tested at the STRIP Clinic. The STRIP clinics are quick and easy as well as free to access – no Medicare card required. Friendly nurses from the Canberra Sexual Health Centre and Medicare Local ACT are in attendance and your results are available the following week in person, over the phone or via SMS.

Many of the gay men I spoke to thought if their potential sexual partner looked healthy, they assumed they were healthy.

They were joking right? No… they were not! There is still a legacy that if you have HIV you look sick and that testing positive is a death sentence. The facts are, with treatment, people can look fantastic and life expectancy is very good.

We know that a person can be infected with HIV and not look sick, particularly in the early stages of the disease. Ignorance isn’t always bliss...especially when it comes to your health. You may think HIV is a disease that will never affect you, but it’s time to think again.

Some people told me they were afraid of getting a positive result but surely knowing your status is so much better than not knowing?

Manager Support and Education

To make a booking contact the AIDS Action Council of the ACT 9:00am to 5:00pm Monday to Friday on 02 6257 2855 or email contact@aidsaction.org.au

You can come and talk to the nurses at STRIP in one of our convenient outreach clinics.

Everyone from the LGBTI community is welcome to attend a clinic at Westlund House, home of the AIDS Action Council of the ACT. Men can also access STRIP at The Ranch, Fantasy Lane in Fyshwick. All tests are voluntary and can be discussed with the nurses. The tests are designed to be as non-invasive as possible and some samples are self-collected in privacy.

HEALTH&WELLBEING

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SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN MARDI GRAS PARADE

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OUT&ABOUT

Photos by Yes We Are Photography & Wayne C Style

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN MARDI GRAS FAIRDAY & PARADE

For all your photography needs — weddings, social occasions and more: yesweare.com.au

OUT&ABOUT

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SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN MARDI GRAS PARADE

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OUT&ABOUT

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

SYDNEY GAY & LESBIAN MARDI GRAS PARADE & PARTY

Photos by Yes We Are Photography & Hamid Mousa

For all your photography needs — weddings, social occasions and more: yesweare.com.au

OUT&ABOUT

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YOUR HOROSCOPE APRIL & MAY 2014

By Melisa Sandfort

The next few months will be filled with energy and enthusiasm. It’s also a time for us to listen to our hearts. By mid May, Mars will go direct again and that means we may all get a little impulsive. Mars will however guide us if we take some time to look inside and work for what we truly want — April and May will be a good time to make changes. With the help of Pluto’s retrograde by middle April, we can all expect lots of lovely surprises, especially when it comes to our social lives.

Aquarius

January 21 – February 18 Around the middle of April you might feel a little powerless regarding work.

Listen carefully and the wisdom you need to solve the issue will come.

Tip: Remain nice and calm in difficult situations; it always helps when you take a few minutes before reacting.

Taurus

April 21 – May 21 May will be an amazing month for you, especially around sex and love. Venus will guide you on aspects related to how to act in your relationship, or if you are single, on how to attract people into your life. Tip: Get adventurous, be playful, try new things and go to new places.

Leo

July 23 – August 23 You might want to take extra care of your health. It is pretty important that you are in good shape for everything you are going to want to do during May. Tip: Spend more time with that special person in your life. You might want to try a cooking or dancing course together.

Scorpio

October 24 – November 22 Life may have been difficult recently, however by late April things will start to improve again. The Moon will give you energy and motivation and the Sun will send you some nice surprises — especially around love and sex. Tip: Keep a positive attitude, it attracts good things.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20 You are a political person; however, sometimes it is better to let people say what they want in order to avoid ugly discussions. By the third week of April Pluto may send you an important message. Pay attention to your dreams.

Tip: Get a little creative in the love area.

Gemini

May 22 – June 21 During April a friend may give you some advice — this may be very useful information and also the Universe keeping you on track. Try listening to it carefully. Tip: Act thoughtfully at work, you don’t want to jeopardise things over a wrong hunch or a false perception.

Virgo

August 24 – September 23

Aries

March 21 – April 20 The Universe knows that you have been working hard, that’s why Jupiter will be there giving you all its energy in order to help you be more focused and motivated.

Tip: Try spending more time at home for a while — going out too much takes away the useful energy you need.

Cancer

June 22 – July 22 The next two months will be perfect for you to focus on your financial situation.

Good opportunities are coming and it’s important that you are open and willing to change your routine in order to get what you want. Tip: A friend will ask for your help, be there for him or her.

Libra

September 24 – October 23

May will be a great month to be creative in the work place. To help you along, Mercury will be there inspiring you to use your communication skills to help achieve any goals you have in mind.

Tip: Be extra mindful when it comes to spending and take care of your finances.

Over the next two months it will be a good time for working out what you want and how you want to live. Mars is going to give you a lot of encouragement, new ideas and motivation for you to make some important changes in your life.

Tip: Be very patient with your loved ones.

Sagittarius

Capricorn

During May, the Moon will help you to develop emotionally. It is pretty important that you are open minded and try making positive changes in your life, especially in the work or academic area. Tip: Enjoy life, be social and allow yourself the opportunity to make new friends.

By the end of April, Jupiter will give you extra energy making it hard to stand still. Use this energy to achieve any goals that require hard work. Tip: Spend more time with your family. A small trip or even just a cup of coffee will help you keep in touch with the ones who care about you.

November 23 – December 22

December 23 – January 20

STARGAZER

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COMMUNITY DIRECTORY AIDS Action Council The AIDS Action Council provides information, support and services.

More info: aidsaction.org.au

Diversity ACT A LGBTI community and service centre, for more information call 1300 794 717 diversityact.org.au

A Gender Agenda A resource for transgender, intersex, gender queer and gender variant people. genderrights.org.au

Gay ACT Squash Group Wednesdays 6.30pm–7.30pm. National Sports Club, Mouat St, Lyneham. groups.google.com/group/gayactsquash

ACTQueer A free email list for LGBTI people in Canberra and surrounding region. groups.yahoo.com/group/actqueer

Gaycrash Canberra Taking over the coolest Canberra straight bars one night at a time! facebook.com/gaycrash.canberra/info

Bit Bent Youth Group Meet other young people, get support or just hang out. Mondays at Belconnen Youth Centre 6pm–8pm and Thursdays at the Woden Youth Centre 5pm–6.30pm.

Email: bit_bent@hotmail.com

PFLAG-ACT A support and friendship group for parents and friends of LGBTI people.

More info email pflag.act@gmail.com

Canberra Gay & Lesbian QWIRE Want to be involved with Canberra’s own gay and lesbian choir? Singers and non-singers encouraged. More info: canberraqwire@yahoo.com.au Capital Queers Canberra’s Mardi Gras group.

More info at capitalqueers.com VENUE : Cube Nightclub Canberra’s premier gay nightclub venue.

Thurs 9pm-5am • Fri 9pm-5am Sat 10pm-5am • Sun 10pm-late 33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City. cubenightclub.com.au Dyke Dinner & Movie Group More info on FUSE website or see Canberra Lesbians on Facebook.

Long Yang A friendly social club for Asian and non-Asian gays and their friends.

Canberra: lyccanberra.org Sydney: sydney.longyangclub.org GLBTIQ Car Club Contact Stuart Poole ACT Convener Motafrenz on 0420 523 238 or email act@motafrenz.org motafrenz.org.au OUTBIZ : LGBTI Business Network Connect with other like-minded people, expand your business, find new customers or suppliers, network and support the LGBTI business community.

Email: outbiz@yahoo.com.au Pink Tennis Gay & Lesbian Tennis Group meets Mondays 6pm–9pm at Turner Tennis Club, Cnr McCaughey & Condamine Sts.

Qnet : Queer Youth Cyberspace GLBTI people under the age of 25.

Check out qnet.org.au Queanbeyan GLBTI Youth Support Mondays 4pm–6pm at Axis Youth Centre, Campbell Street, Queanbeyan Park.

Radio Q Canberra LGBTI community radio show on 2xx 98.3FM 2xxfm.org.au Rainbow Bubs A playgroup and support group for same sex parents and their kids.

Email: hoogied@yahoo.com Ranch Men’s Lounge Canberra’s mens’ space. They are located at Unit 19, Molongo Mall in Fyshwick ACT. A safe venue for men who want to meet men. See ad p47.

Tilley’s Devine Cafe For almost 30 years, Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the LGBTI community. Warm and sumptuous, it’s famous for its food and fabulous coffees and cake. Cnr of Wattle & Brigalow Sts, Lyneham. Telephone 02 6247 7753.

Uni of Canberra Queer Collective A supportive social group for UC students and staff. Get in touch at: sexuality@theucsa.org.au or find our FB group: UC Queer Collective.

Westlund House Westlund house is a welcoming space and community centre for the whole LGBTI community. You’ll find us at 16 Gordon Street, Acton, ACT Online at: westlundhouse.org.au

> > Want to know “what’s on” or be listed here, then visit us at www.fusemagazine.com.au

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FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

A Little Laser Cosmetic Laser Clinic

Jennifer Dromgold is the owner of a boutique clinic providing hair removal and skin rejuvenation with medical grade treatments at affordable prices.

Jennifer has clients ranging from gay boys & girls to people in the trans* community who need a professional that understands their needs.

OVER 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH LASER TREATMENTS

For more information call 6232 6629 Located in Manuka Arcade “As somebody that supports and understands the needs of GLBTI people I’m very keen to offer my services and help individuals look and feel better.”

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EMAIL DEAR ROSE WITH YOUR PROBLEM TODAY!

By Rose Pappalardo

Dear Rose, I met the most wonderful guy from the UK at Mardi Gras — a three day romance. Is there such thing as love at first site?

He’s asked me to come to London to live. I so want to throw chance to the wind and go like now… should I? Charlie

Dear Charlie, Ahhh love at first sight, the ultimate romantic interlude and at Mardi Gras no less! Whilst I am all for spontaneity and throwing caution to the wind, what might be called for is a tiny bit of caution. Mardi Gras romances are heady, intoxicating and lots of fun but that is the point isn’t it? It’s the one time of the year, its ok to be gay, unfortunately the real world has not caught up….yet!

Resist your initial urge to move over now and perhaps test your new found romance with a significant visit to London for a bit of a trial run. If your visit works out well you only need to return back home, wrap up your life and re-join your new romance!

Dear Rose, My girlfriend has always been a real tomboy and has recently decided to transition to a male. I’m in a really difficult position, I love her, but I’m a lesbian and don’t want to have a sexual relationship with a male. It feels politically incorrect to leave but I can’t change my own personal sexual preferences.

HK

Dear HK, It’s a pretty tough decision your girlfriend has made, risking rejection of her relationship, family, friends, possibly a change of career — everything will change for ‘him’.

Honesty has to be paramount not only for yourself but also to your partner as the process of transitioning is an enormous physical and emotional journey. You need to talk about your feelings and fears of how things may possibly change for you.

You may find your feelings change, but by being honest and up-front means there are no surprises for either of you. I would also strongly suggest that you seek your own counselling through this period. It will give you an outlet to air what is happening for you, don’t wait till it gets to crisis point, be pro-active.

Dear Rose, Everyone says to come out and be proud.

As very right wing Christians I know my parents will disown me… there is no doubt in my mind. Although I love them, I know god loves me even if I’m gay. Their views on the matter I know will not be shifted. I really do need to choose between family and who I am.

It’s tearing me apart.

Christian boy

Dear Christian boy, In today’s world it is very easy for some gay folks to pressure other gay folks to come out regardless of circumstances. Don’t be one of them. If you do not wish to come out of the closet then that is your choice. There are plenty of people I know that have never had to come out and for very similar reasons. Many LGB people still maintain a separate ‘gay’ life to their family life.

I guess I would be more concerned with how your parents would feel, if by chance they find out via other sources. Nothing is going to mask the pain and possibly shame of hearing this kind of news from someone else. In some ways the most respectful and loving thing that you can do for them is to tell them yourself.

The great thing is that you have control of the situation, you can plan to have somewhere to go if the worst was to happen. You can think about what you want to say to them and how you expect to live your life according to your beliefs and standard.

“When I first appeared, people couldn’t figure out whether I was gay, straight, black, white or whatever, and I loved that. I loved the fact it scares people.”

Pink

Need help or someone to talk to? Support is available for anyone in distress by phoning (24 Hours) QLife 1800 184 527, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or AAC counselling services on 02 6257 2855. If you require relationship support or services call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277

ASK DEAR ROSE 48

DEARROSE

If you need help or have a question email : dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Walk in to treatment for MINOR INJURY or ILLNESS

to Tuggeranong & Belconnen Community Health Centres

!

PLEASE NOTE: children under 2 years and those who have complex health issues should visit their GP

♥

DON’T MISS THIS SPECIAL PRODUCTION OF DAVID WILLIAMSON’S

MENTION FUSE TO GET $10 OFF YOUR FULL PRICE TICKET

MANAGING CARMEN 24 – 28 June 2014 Sports Manager Rohan Swift needs to uncover what is troubling his star player.

Brent Lyall is at the top of his game and should be on top of the world: captain of the most powerful football club in Australia, but something is holding him back from being the charismatic hero the public and his sponsors expect. Brent hides a secret that will rock the nation.

By full time, Williamson’s witty banter and colourful characters have hit their mark. Williamson deftly plays the field of gender identity politics with style and sequins. Managing Carmen has all the wit of Williamson’s 1978 hit The Club, with a twist. The audience loved it.’

Caroline Heim, The Australian

The Burning > 31 July – 10 August This riveting courtroom thriller will have you on the edge of your seat. “Without pandering to cliche, this has to be one of the best pieces of theatre in recent memory” ABC Radio

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BOOK NOW! FOR TICKETS CALL 02 6285 6290 253 CRAWFORD STREET, QUEANBEYAN

theq.net.au

1984 > 30 April – 3 May Strap yourself in for this terrifically frightening theatrical event set against a towering wall of plasma screens. This new stage adaptation brings George Orwell’s novel screaming into the present.