Dos & Don’ts

Having said that, let me share my personal list of dos and dont’s for workplace dating.

DO keep it on the ‘down low’. The fewer people who know about it the better, at least in the early stages. There is nothing worse for your budding romance than becoming the hot gossip on everyone’s lips. Plus, what’s steamier than a secret fling?

DON’T do it if there’s a power imbalance. This is tricky but vital. If you’re seeing your superior and it turns sour, they have the power to gift you the most undesirable tasks (hello toilet-cleaning duty!) or impact your roster. If you’re seeing someone beneath you, they can formally complain which could affect your future prospects (#MeToo movement anyone?). It’s just not worth it.

DO lean on each other for support. You are blessed to be with someone that understands the pressures you face — because they face them too! You work the same hours, tackle the same problems and get the same down time. Listen to each other and be that beacon of light when the road gets rough.

DON’T cling on past the expiry date. Real talk — most relationships are destined to fail. If it reaches an end point, let it end. The sooner you each move on the less suffering long-term. Let time and space do its work.

DO set clear boundaries. Is it open or closed? Is it a casual tryst or are you committed to the long haul? Take time once it gets more serious to be upfront and honest about the terms of the relationship. You both just like hooking up? Keep it that way. If you can’t get on the same page now, don’t expect to in the future.

DON’T bad mouth the other party when you’re at odds. While it may be tempting to vent to your colleagues, you will only add fuel to the fire and, frankly, make yourself appear as the villain. Present yourself as the bigger person by keeping things professional and civil. Your actions can and will influence theirs.

DO find shared interests and hobbies outside of work. Like any successful coupling, discovering common ground is key. No one wants be with someone who is all work and no play. Explore external interests. Interests are hot.

Most importantly, keep in mind that combining your professional and private life is a gamble. In the words of George Costanza from Seinfeld — “worlds are colliding!”

Proceed with caution but enjoy the moment. Hitting a roadblock here and there does not mean fences can’t be mended in the future.

I met my current boyfriend on the job almost three years ago and we are still going strong today, despite our fair share of clashes. And have I always followed my own advice? Absolutely not.

A workplace romance is definitely not for faint hearts — but it can pay off in spades.