GAB! SHOCKING SECRETS

Y E A R LY

October, 2012 ISSUE 7

WEDDING BELLS

Brittany and Glen Marry!

EXCLUSIVE

INTERVIEW

SHOCKING SECRETS! MEGAN SMITH ALLEN Shocking details about her surprisingly normal life.

THEY’RE BACK ERASERHEAD

Old-Timer Rock ‘n’ Roll

SASHA SILVERMAN & AMY POHLER

NEW BESTIES!

BRYN ATHYN

STARS ARE JUST LIKE YOU!

DANIELLE KING creamed the competition at a field hockey game. CONNIE HULTGREN and NINA GENZLINGER helped.

THEY PLAY SPORTS!

King Talk show host ALI SMETANICK CHILDS was spotted outside the Jenkintown Whole Foods with daughter ADELINE.

Hultgren

Genzlinger

THEY DRINK COFFEE! They grow up so fast! TARA PITCAIRN teaches her fellow Oshkosh models, EMMA MCGRATH and AINSLEY PITCAIRN, how to stay young at heart.

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OCTOBER 2012

Always at least this crowded, Be Well Bakery and Café is a BA hot spot for A-listers like NICHOLAS LEAHY, and SASHA and STAR SILVERMAN.

THEY USE STOLLERS!

“If I didn’t have this, I’d have to carry QUINN and HARPER everywhere!”

LINDEN NOWAK, Top Chef runnerup, told her mom, philanthropist DANNA KISTNER.

You can thank trainers JOSH STRYJACK and SPRING SILVERMAN for Matthew McConaughey’s pecs. (Pictured on their way to a barbecue at the Sutton’s.)

THEY EAT MEAT!

Durban always supports up-andcoming artists.

“We’re only vegan on weekdays,” say Shakespearean Love costars CHERYL and ROBIN COOPER, with son DURBAN at BA Bounty.

GAB! MAGAZINE

| 3

D E R CARPET Who Wore It Best?

GAB! asked 100 people at the Silverman Family Reunion

Chyler Henderson

50%

Ainsley Odhner

50%

The seven-yearold Goldman Sachs CEOs work best together, and their matching Burberry duds are a perfect look!

Spring Silverman

Eva Longoria

86%

14%

The Olympian elected not to wear her medals with the LBD competition against the Desperate Housewife.

4 | APRIL 14, 2012

Eden Odhner

63%

Sofia Vergara

37%

The model/ humanitarian was at the Cairnwood Village Gala, while the Modern Family actress attended an awards show in NYC.

OFFICIAL MASCARA OF THE HUNGER GAMES

Let the games begin.

GAB! MAGAZINE

| 5

D E R CARPET

Beyonce’s B

BEST DRESSES

HAVING A BALL

WITH COLORFUL GOWNS AND PERFECT POSTURE,

THESE STARS SWEPT UP THE RED CARPET COMPETITION

BRENDA Lanvin BUSS “The perfect

coming-out dress,” The Avengers stuntwoman stylist Hunter swapped out herTy famous black of of thehead-to-toe gown his catsuit insays favor client wore to share Salvatoreher Ferragamo. news at MTV’s VMAs in L.A. Aug. 28.

6 |

OCTOBER 2012

TARA Roberto MILLER Cavalli

Miller stuns in a $3M Tiffany Beyonce (in NYC Sept.21) “proves necklace and custom can be sexy Giorgioyou Armani, who has and confident said of when the actress, “She pregnant,”is the reason I still design.” says Cavalli.

“She is radient.”

HANNAH Roberto CHILDS Cavalli

Beyonce (in NYC This A-lister chose a sweet and Sept.21) “proves playful number

by Elie Saab, you canmade be sexy with flowers from real and confident pulled sugar.

Delicious! when pregnant,” says Cavalli.

“She is radient.”

Bump Style

FAUVE Lanvin NASH “The perfect

coming-out dress,” Oh Canada!

The Oscar winner stylist Ty Hunter dazzled in a shoulder-baring says of theatgown his Marchesa dress the premiere client wore to share of her movie North, her newsNorthwest. at MTV’s VMAs in L.A. Aug. 28.

WENDINNE Roberto BUSS Cavalli

Beyonce NYC On her recent trip(in to London, “proves the editorSept.21) of Highlights went can be sexy all black inyou this sequined Stella and confident McCartney gown. when pregnant,” says Cavalli.

“She is radient.”

Maternity jeans?

Not for this mom-to-be, who dazzles in sequin minis and slik gowns.

MERAY Roberto CHILDS Cavalli

Beyonce NYC reflect my “My clothes(inalways Sept.21) “provesthe actress love for nature,” you sexy gown that said ofcan her be Versace and confident was dyedpregnant,” with the buds of one when thousand says Cavalli. roses.

“She is radient.”

GAB! MAGAZINE

| 7

Wholesome family fun!

GAB! POLL

WE HAVE ISSUES! Check out past editions at www.issuu.com/gabmagazine

SPECIAL April, 2012 ISSUE 5

KAITLYND & JON!

Her Family Approves ONLY IN

GAB! EXCLUSIVE PHO TOS

CONNIE & DAN’ S

DREAM WEDDIN G!

THE GOWN! TH ALL THE PRECIOE GUESTS! THE GLAMOUR! US PARTY DETAIL S!

BESS ALDEN

Total Slacker!

VIP GUEST LIST

Who Made the Cut?

GAB! is a spoof celebrity gossip magazine for current, past, and wanna-be residents of Bryn Athyn. In addition to our annual publication, custom editions can be commissioned for your special event.

8 |

OCTOBER 2012

Once they get hitched this October, Nicole Pitcairn and Archibald Ollennu will need a celebrity couple name!

Archicole or Nicobald?

67%

SAID NICOBALD

BA FAMILY SCENE

Star’s 40-ish was a rare Silverman family reunion.

STARSHINE ROUNDUP T

he silverman family made

a splash in Bryn Athyn this September as the children gathered to celebrate their mother Star’s 40-ish birthday. Every Silverman was believed to be in attendance, but since there are too many to count, this claim remains unconfirmed. Star was beaming, “It means so much to me to have what seems to be everyone I love here for my birthday!”

“I would travel a thousand miles for my mother,” Celestyn Alpers told GAB! reporters as she stepped off the airplane. This clothing designer became a household name after the success of her girls’ clothing line inspired by daughter Ava (2). And with newborn Vaughn (3 months) as her muse, Alpers is already branching out into boys’ clothing.

The reunion was a three-day extravaganza coordinated by renowned party-girl Aria Carter.

Highlights of the non-stop party included a tour of the Historic

9 |

OCTOBER 2012

District by hovercraft, a personalized Cirque du Soleil performance (Star’que), and an unconventional rendition of “Happy Birthday” that moved Star, as well as any neighbors within earshot, to tears.

With her flawless skin, svelte physique, and radiant smile, most would think this was Star’s 30th.

Refuting rumors of botox, veneers, and lip injections, Star swears by an all-organic diet, lots of laughter, and easy access to grandchildren at all times. “They keep me young!” Star gushed to GAB! Sources say Star broke her diet to sample one of the most tempting indulgences at the event: signature cupcakes by gourmet baker Cairn Coy. Coy used frosting flavored with authentic crushed lavender flowers flown in from France. Star denied these claims until pictures surfaced of her with telltale crumbs on her lips. Hubby Ray quickly came to his sweetheart’s defense, saying, “Purple is her favorite color. It was basically a

booby trap.”

Not wanting a repeat of her 30th, when her kids gave her a car for every year she had lived, Star One of the requested her gifts be a highlights of the little less lavish. Survivor weekend all-star Spring Silverman obliged and presented Star with an exquisite necklace made with precious stones selected by each of the siblings. Chyler Henderson, who just learned beading in second grade, strung the stones onto the necklace.

The sibs are tight-lipped about plans for Star’s 50-ish. “It’s going to be hard to top this, so we don’t want her to get too excited,” admitted recently-married Skyler Silverman. But friends of Star told GAB! that she has already begun designing jubilee t-shirts and has purchased diamondstudded, 3-foot tall wax candles in the shape of a 5 and 0.

GAB! MAGAZINE | 9

BA FAMILY SCENE

Power Playdates

S P O O AR YE OF THE C

irque du soleil star

Alanna Jones ParadisBéland accidentally attended an award show with Orlando Bloom, mistaking him for her husband, sock model Fabrice! Bloom, a huge fan of both of their work, was so flattered that he didn’t want to tell Alanna that she had the wrong guy. “I played it cool until the end of the red carpet so I could get some pictures with her,” admitted Bloom. “But next time I hope she brings Fabrice!” Bloom’s wife, model Miranda Kerr, refused to comment.

See which of Hollywood’s li’l A-listers are sandbox buddies

Denzin

Adeline

Miranda Kerr

PREGGER CRAVINGS What celebs are craving these days REBEKAH MADDOCK

“We usually avoid nuts because of Scott’s allergy, but now all I want is pistachio-encrusted halibut! I’m trying to avoid it, because it would literally kill him. But it’s hard!”

AYRIS JUNGÉ

Jungé

All I want to eat are fried bananas dipped in mayonnaise! Don’t knock it until you have a person growing inside of you.”

ABBIE ACTON

Acton

10 |

OCTOBER 2012

“I can’t get enough homemade cheeseburgerand-pickle ice cream!

With rainbow sprinkles, obviously.”

Brown-Sylla & Childs Whin Brown-Sylla and son Denzin (2) met up with Ali Childs and daughter Adeline (1) at a dog park in West BA. Despite their age difference, the tots were great at sharing!

MELISSA BOWYER

n’t 10 Things You Do Know About M e Frazier & Friends Not wanting Raya to be jaded by their celeb status, Taryn and Pearse Frazier insist their daughter finish her chores before she gets together with play pals.

1. I ran a half marathon twice. So essentially I’ve run a full marathon.

2. I spent a night in jail after things got heated in a game of “Go Fish.”

3. I am best friends with my hubby Justin 2 who is, awkwardly, best friends with my ex, Justin Timberlake.

4. I am a very affordable commissioned artist.

5. I employ a personal chef for my midnight snacks.

6. I started an exterior design company after discovering my knack for rearranging patio furniture.

7. I have a prosthetic nail for my pinky toe.

8. I am fanatical about paying with correct change at tollbooths.

9. I have traveled to 17.5 countries (Canada barely counts).

10. I cannot be defeated at hopscotch.

5

8

Odhner & Odhner

9

3

To attend Hope and Aurelle Odhner’s exclusive “Big Time Small Town” autumn bash, guests must be ten years old, related to heartthrob Dylan Odhner, and must bring along a real-life doppleganger.

Cute Kids!

LOOK-A-LIKE of the year

Alpers & Hendersons Sisters Sasha Silverman and Celestyn Alpers say these cousins are best buds! Chyler and Ava swap advice about sparkly nail polish and Cade is pretty sure Vaughn months, gave him a high-five.

DYLAN ODHNER

&

SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT

The under-appreciated almost-star of the Sixth Sense bears a close resemblance to the American Pie actor.

GAB! MAGAZINE

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★ FEUDS OF THE YEAR ★ ★ BOYESEN VS PETERSMEYER VS WADE ★

★ ODHNER VS ODHNER ★

Fitness Class Face Off

Fight for the Title

T Sacha Wade

Marah Boyesen

Adina Petersmeyer

Emily Klippenstein and Betsy Asplundh swear

by Wade’s G-Fit.

Monica Grant and Nina Genzlinger are diehard Boyesen fans.

Jennifer Aniston and Madonna are loyal to Petersmeyer.

E

ver since be well bakery

opened up shop, Bryn Athynites have been watching their waistlines expand.

Responding to an obvious need, fitness classes have been popping up all over town. Three of the most popular are led by blonde bombshells Adina Petersmeyer, Marah Boyesen, and Sacha Wade. Each of the ladies have a loyal following who swear by the unique methods of their instructors. But which group would win in a battle of brawn? For weeks, the classes have been preparing for the first annual GAB!

Games! Designed to push contestants to their absolute limit, and then a lot further, the games include events such as the tri-castle tricycle relay race, 100 yard dash up Cathedral hill, and whitewater kickboarding down the Pennypack. Spectators are invited to attend the opening ceremonies, where teams will march around wearing color-coordinated sweaters and carrying hand-embroidered banners. Boyesen, Petersmeyer, and Wade will have the honor of co-lighting the tiki torch which will burn for the duration of the games.

he odhners recently

welcomed two girls to the family: Thor and Megan’s daughter Aubrey (13 months) and Jace and Eden’s baby Willow (6 months). But now the clan is “Spitbubble” split over an age-young debate: Aubrey Odhner which baby is the Odhnery-est?

AGE: 13 months Aubrey spent 24 weeks as uncon- WEIGHT CLASS: Toddler BED TIME: 8 pm tested champion. But everything changed when Willow began her Odhnerific rise in April.

Dr. Ozzie, who often plays with his toy stethoscope, weighed in: “Both subjects possess the raisin eyes and button nose long associated with our lineage. Aubrey’s “Cribz” concave facial structure is classiWillow Odhner cally Odhner, but Willow’s furAGE: 6 months rowed brow and slightly widowed WEIGHT CLASS: Baby BED TIME: TBD peak are reminiscent of our viking ancestors.” In a recent press conference, Aubrey taunted the newcomer with inflammatory remarks like, “Uh Oh” and “Dada.” Willow declined to comment.

Dr. Ozzie

GAB! POLL OF THE YEAR

LYNNELLEN KING

B-Day Punking!

Readers of GAB! Magazine weigh in

D

onald Trump’s former campaign manager LynnEllen King was completely surprised when her family and friends threw her a huge 30th birthday bash. “I usually cater all of my parties, so this caught me completely off guard!” exclaimed King. Held at the King’s $30 million BA estate, the party had an island theme, complete with a saltwater pool filled with coral and a hurricane-like downpour. Sources say LynnEllen loved the party and can’t wait to see what her daughters plan for her 31st!

12 |

OCTOBER 2012

Sutton

Should Adam Be the Next Bond?

9% SAID YES

Sources say Ashton Kutcher helped with some of the details.

Everyone else thought he should be the villain

Vulture Bait Vest

www.yogerscizeyourselfandyourlifeforbestresultsever.com

HOT Bryn Athyn Bounty: PICS! The biggest names in the biz flock to the farm market to

Reclusive rock star J. RO and wife KRISTIN KING patiently pose with adoring fans ERIK BUSS, Jr. and THANE GLENN.

DOROTHY BROWN rules the roost!

You bite it, You buy it!

ALANA PARADIS-BÉLAND’s daughter ELLA is reigning champion of the Bounty’s Tomato Eating Contest.

14 |

OCTOBER 2012

Inspired by the Kardashian sisters’ “Dash” line, The Latta sisters, EMILY, STEPHANIE, and BRONWYN have started their own line of fashion eyewear: “Latté”

The Place to Be!

escape from life in the fast lane.

Fresh Produce, Fresh Faces!

DIANE VAN ZYVERDEN, appraiser on Antiques Roadshow: Unrefined, shows off her vintage clutch, which she dates back to the Elizabethan era.

The Bounty produce wagon actually traveled on the Oregon Trail!

VOLCAN ANDIC, star of the new cooking show Turkish Delight, introduces son REMZI to some heirloom peppers.

LYNN GENZLINGER flies in every Saturday from her Wyoming ranch, just to buy local produce and chat with STAR SILVERMAN.

Big-time producers with egos to match, BFFs RAY SILVERMAN and PETER RHODES mingle with the little people at the market.

GAB! MAGAZINE

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Yearbook Photo PICS! RETRO

2

1

This twin and mother-ofThis Freeport, PA native four was on the cheerleading settled in BA with her team. Those skills come in husband, four kids, and a dog! handy with a big family!

3 Before he was teaching Bryn Athyn’s 8th grade boys, this athlete claimed his ambition was to be a stay at home husband.

This bilingual mom went from running the Social Committee to traveling the globe!

4 16 |

OCTOBER 2012

6

5 Before she and her husband moved to Ohio, she was singing in Telegrams!

This Bryn Athyn native moved to Tuscon, AZ and says she “loves that it’s sunny all the time!”

Quiz!

BENJAMIN SCHROCK

PET Removal

2 Good 2 B 4gotten!

Can you ID these prestardom students?

No pet is too big, small, or belovedTM

7

8

This ex-dormie settled in North Carolina, where he and wife Tracy live on 49 acres with 5 dogs and 12 horses!

Before she was Eraserhead’s biggest fan, this choreographer lit up the stage in school plays!

1/3 page ad Anyone can get rid of COCKROACHES. Only Schrock can solve your COCKATIEL problem.

From satisfied former pet owners: “Benjamin was quick and discreet.

He doesn’t pass judgement.”

“He made it look like an accident, which spared me answering a lot of questions.”

9

“I call him every time my kittens grow out of their cute stage.”

Before he chose to go bald (and she let him) this couple was the cutest on campus!

ANSWERS: 1. Marty (Martha) Smith Nash; 2. Brenda Smith Buss; 3. Greg Henderson; 4. Susan Asplundh; 5. Teal Pendleton Elder; 6. Louise Posey Eides; 7. Doug Kloc; 8. Jessica Ebert Bostock; 9. Jessie Pendleton and Greg Rose GAB! MAGAZINE

| 17

Call Today!

1-800-XTR-MIN8

THIS MINUTE

YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT...

Shocking Secrets!

“I needed to sound exactly like Meryl, so I followed her around set repeating her every word. I thought it would get annoying, but she said it was flattering and helped her reflect on her actions.”

—On perfecting her Meryl Streep impression

Megan Smith Allen reveals all the details about her surprisingly normal life.

H

ollywood hot-mom megan allen—

whose headline credits include The King Clan Clash, In the Footsteps of Mrs. Thomas Kline, and Telling My Twins Apart: A True Hollywood Story—sat down with GAB! to talk about wigs, family dinner, and quilting.

Q: You’ve starred on so many stages, we’ve lost count. Which was your favorite performance thus far?  I’ve been lucky to work with lots of talented folks. Playing a young Meryl Streep in The Angels Wear HandMe-Downs was amazing.

Q: Sources say you’re kind of a diva with hair and make-up. What’s the deal?  There was a single incident. I’d rather not get into it, but I will just say that I know when a wig fits and when it doesn’t.

Q: How do you keep your children so welladjusted while living in the spotlight?  I try to fill their days with normal activities. For example, we eat dinner together as a family every night. No exceptions. Even if I have to fly the kids to Miami after their soccer practice, we always take that time to reconnect and push our vegetables around the plate.

Q: What’s up next on your long list of projects? Is there an Oscar in your future?  My next project is a dark comedy about the unexpected side of motherhood, loosely based on the life of singer/ songwriter Lori Odhner. It’s called Nine Ain’t Nothin’. We start filming next year, but I’m already training for it. I have been doing a lot of sewing. Winning an Oscar would be a bonus—I’m just grateful that I now know how to make quilts!

18 |

OCTOBER 2012

Megan met her husband, Formula One driver Justin Allen, when she waved the checkered flag at the Indianapolis 500.

Who Kristin Lindsay Ch-ch-changes “I don’t feel like the same person I was a few months ago. It’s amazing what a 24week juice fast can do!”

This year’s cover stars tell all! Shannon Walko shares what she loves about being a mom, and Marguerite Herder reveals a secret makeup trick!

COVER STARS

Who Yesenia Adame Walter On her marriage “Two years has flown by! I’m trying to stop blinking, because otherwise I miss things.”

Open for biz In between her international gigs, this busy star somehow finds time to teach private salsa lessons and make custom juices!

The future “Zach and I are enjoying our journey. We have big plans, we’re just not sure what they are yet!”

Who Shannon Walko On motherhood The secret to never-ending dirty diapers?

“Master your puppy dog face, and your hubby will take care of it every time!”

On her latest match The Billionaire Yenta is not disclosing the identities of a recent highprofile match, but she did say that we should keep our ears open for wedding bells!!

Who Marguerite Herder Next big thing Watch out, Adele!

Critics say this crooner could give you a run for your money.

All in the family The musical accompaniment on Marguerite’s album Herder is performed exclusively by her Herder relatives.

Secret makeup trick Use lipstick for intense eyeshadow. “It stays bright red for days!”

Who Heidi Eidse On fashionista fame I shop exclusively at BATS, because it’s the only place you can find one-of-a-kind pieces, like this adorable shag dress!

On her upcoming film Working with George Clooney wasn’t as dreamy as I expected. He’s actually kind of old, so when you get up close, there are a disappointing number of wrinkles.

BRYN ATHYN

NEW MOM! GAB! MAGAZINE

| 19

Cutest Couples

Schrock and Rose support Holstein International.

Philanthropists PEARSE and TARYN FRAZIER’s charity, Holstein International, donates cows to needy Kemptonites. Socialite sister SHILAH ROSE and her boyfriend BENJAMIN SCHROCK, Dudes of the Ranch co-star, attended their benefit, bovine in tow.

Renowned painter ABBY SYNNESTVEDT was suffering from artist’s block until she met her muse, ROBIN HENDRICKS, co-star of the mockumentary Dudes of the Ranch.

DALE ZECHER and TOVAH KING first met as youngsters on the set of Adventures in CowTipping, and they’ve been friends ever since!

20 |

OCTOBER 2012

Parks and Recreation costars INDIA and LUKE RHODES, seen at a Durand Durand concert, are about to open a luxury yoga retreat.

Salsa

YEARLY HOROSCOPE

with

LIBRA: Sep 23-Oct23 Don’t let other people dictate your future. Leave that to some stars and ambiguous planetary movement.

Yesenia!

SCORPIO: OCT 24-NOV 22 Your mother has always been your style icon. But now that she’s devolved from Jackie O. to Mrs. Doubtfire, you should probably look elsewhere for inspiration.

SAGITAURIUS: NOV 23-DEC 21 First impressions aren’t everything. The stars are saying you might still have a chance with that dreamy dentist who discovered your drooling problem.

1/3 page ad

CAPRICORN: DEC 22-JAN 20 You will find out the hard way that your new hobby of rock climbing does not mesh with your new mantra: “Just let go.”

AQUARIUS: JAN 21-FEB 19 Your patience will pay off when you finally accomplish your three-year long project!

But you might want to keep this one under wraps, because for some reason, not everyone is totally jazzed about 7,000 piece jigsaw puzzles.

PISCES: FEB 20-MAR 20 You have a gift for being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Tell that to your friend when she catches you wearing her peep-toe pumps AGAIN. ARIES: MAR 21-APR 20 You will be in a string of highly entertaining meetings this week, resulting in hours of uncontrollable laughter. Unfortunately, upper management will not be as amused.

TAURUS: APR 21-MAY 20 Something deep within you will be awakened this month. But there is a reason we moved on from the disco era, so maybe you should continue to repress that part of your past.

Your Two Left Feet are In The Right Hands™

GEMINI: MAY 21-JUN 21 You were born to be a leader. Unfortunately, the first lemming off of the cliff is technically a leader. Here’s hoping you’re more like the president!

Private salsa lessons for people who shouldn’t be dancing in public.

CANCER: JUN 22-JUL 22 It’s finally time for the training wheels to come off. They were never supposed to go on your car, but the guy teaching you how to drive stick didn’t have the heart to tell you.

It’s probably the best dancing I’ve ever done.

LEO: JUL 23-AUG 23 You will have a lot more free time on your hands when that cute coworker you’ve been semi-stalking becomes your office mate. Jackpot.

VIRGO: AUG 24-SEP 22 Though it’s usually admirable, your no-makeup philosophy will result in a lot of unhappy children when you are assigned to the face-painting booth at the carnival.

GAB! MAGAZINE

SATISFIED CLIENTS: Napoleon Dynamite Elaine Benes Kate Gosselin

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facebook.com/yesenia.adame

GAB! EXCLUSIVE

Roland crafted the pine trestle for his bride using nothing but a butter knife.

BROOKE & ROLAND

Rustic Wedding Sunset ceremony, sunrise on love: An oceanside “I do!” with the picture-perfect backdrop.

Brooke Barnett and Roland Pitcairn tap the Rockies for their June 15 nuptials

22 |

OCTOBER 2012

T

he two exchanged

vows in an intimate ceremony at the top of one of the highest peaks in Colorado. Only their closest friends and family, and the most dedicated paparazzi, made it to the peak, which was accessible only by pack mule.

Guests barely felt their saddle sores as they partied the night away surrounded by a stunning mountain range that was enough to take your breath away. “I actually can’t breathe!” gasped Jenny Lindsay after three seconds of dancing at such a high altitude.

Acclaimed photographer Michelle King took the bridal party over the river and through the woods to capture the rustic feel of the wedding. Florist Skye Kerr

crafted lovely bouquets and centerpieces in blushing pinks, creams, and yellow. The wedding was officiated by Eraserhead guitarist, Rev. Dave Roth.

The bride wore a showstopping gown with sweetheart neckline, ruched bodice, and 3D floral detail. Her groom sported suspenders for the first time and liked them so much that he hasn’t taken them off since. “It was a little awkward during our Tahitian honeymoon,” admitted the new Mrs. Pitcairn. “You don’t really need suspenders to hold up a speedo.”

The couple have settled into their sprawling Boulder ranch and have already started thinking about talking about someday maybe having babies.

HE DOES! When the wind picked up during the ceremony, Roland had to scream so Brooke could hear his vows.

The Hair Connie asked Kaitlynd to style her hair. The older , who had worked with other famous brides like Kate and , was a bundle of nerves. “It felt like I was doing hair for the first time,” says Kaitlynd.

The bevy of bridesmaids roughed it in the Rockies.

PHOTOS:

© Michelle King Photography - www.mkingphoto.com

GAB! MAGAZINE

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WEDDING

BELLS

Matchmaker Emily Glunz Hasen calls Adriann and Ryan her “finest work.”

Lauren O’Sullivan & Jason Walter MAY 27, 2012

Lauren and Jason ultimately decided against zip lining down the aisle.

Adriann Spinks & Ryan Glunz SEPTEMBER 1, 2012

Instead of promising to be true in sickness and in health, Adriann and Ryan pledged to always be well.

24 |

OCTOBER 2012

Amy Brickman & Ivan Maddock JUNE 30, 2012

If a tree fell in the cathedral, would Amy and Ivan have heard it in their newly wedded bliss?

Constance Zimmer & Dan Hultgren MARCH 30, 2012

Dan and Connie sealed it with a kiss at their destination wedding in the Bahamas.

Brittany Leist & Glen Boyesen SEPTEMBER 9, 2012

After some confusion with the veil, Glen and Brittany successfully tied the knot!

GAB! MAGAZINE

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CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: CLINTON H. WALLACE/NPG.COM; JUDY EDDY/WENN; KEVAN BROOKS/ADMEDIA; HUMBERTO CARRENO/STARTRACKSPHOTO.COM; E! ENTERTAINMENT; ALBERT MICHAEL/STARTRACKSPHOTO.COM

RERPDET Who Wore it Best?

CA GAB asked ____ people in C______

FULL PAGE AD

26 | O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2

CUTE Mamas’ Boys PICS! These guys only have eyes for the most important women in their lives.

Bohemian stylist JENICA HOLMES ANDIC’s boy KORAY doesn’t need anyone to teach him how to kick back and relax.

Don’t let COLEMAN fool you! He hasn’t outgrown his blanky or hugs from fitness guru mom, MARAH BOYESEN.

JAMESON KING is all smiles because supermom HANNAH LERMITTE knows how to treat her boy like royalty.

Sadie Cowley

According to RACHEL HEINRICHS, her son JULIAN looks so much like cousin SADIE COWLEY that he landed the role as her stuntdouble for the upcoming prime-time sitcom Grandpa Bernie.

GAB! MAGAZINE

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COOL STUFF

Is Ben faking his smile?

Just a couple of bros.

Long Lost Brothers?

Best bros Zachary Walter and David Hasselhoff are enjoying lots of quality time together.

Z

achary Walter, oscarwinning director of Batboy: The Prequel, always wanted a sibling. After almost thirty years, just when Walter had finally come to terms with the fact that he was an only child, he ran into David Hasselhoff on the set of Dancing With the Stars. Walter was shocked at how familiar Hasselhoff seemed.

“We made eye contact across the stage, and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t go up and say something to him,” Walter recalled. “It was the best decision of my life. When I shook his hand, it felt like coming home.”

Although their kinship is

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O PCRT IOL B 1E4R, 2 0 1 2 A

still unconfirmed, Walter and Hasselhoff have already started making up for lost time. Walter wants to be just like his big bro and now refuses to fasten the three top buttons of his shirt. The guys are spending lots of quality time together. What began as a weekly Monday night football date has quickly become more serious. The Hoff accompanied Walter and his wife Yesenia, real professional dancer, on their family vacation to Mexico. And friends of the couples told GAB! that the Walters have already moved into the guest house on Hasselhoff ’s property in Encino.

Walter’s childhood best friend

Benjamin Schrock is worried his status as “brother from another mother” is quickly losing value. Schrock is encouraging his BF to get genetic testing to “disprove this nonsense once and for all.” Rumor has it Yesenia may also be in favor of testing. Sources say she and Zach would like to eventually start a family, but Yesenia first wants to know if there is a chance her children will bear any resemLooks like he’s still in touch with his blance to The Hoff.

Kempton roots

The Hasselhoff estate could soon be christened Walterhoff Haven

CRAIGSLIST DISCOVERY

SHE IS SOLD!

J

enny Son and Tom Davis are totally in love and totally up front about the fact that they met on Craigslist. Son started looking for Mr. Right in the Personals section, but she quickly abandoned that track. “It was way too obvious. I wanted a man with a little more mystery,” Son recalled. While browsing the Free section, an ad for a gently-used yoga mat piqued her curiosity. “I loved that he was sort of into yoga at one point,” said Son. “His description was very honest and got straight to the point. Plus, he still had the original packaging, which is so responsible!” After emailing back and forth a few times, Son and Davis agreed to meet, but they both “already knew it was a done deal.”

VIP SCENE

 Jenny Lindsay and Matt Lucas (above) practicing feeding cake to each other in preparation for their November 10 nuptials.

“I found love in a hopeless place!” gushed Son.

CHARA ODHNER

What She’s Not Saying Silverman and Poehler have a lot in common

BFFs Sasha & Amy

Though Saturday Night Live publicized the die-hard friendship of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, recently Amy has been ditching Tina to rekindle her friendship with childhood bestie Sasha Silverman.

Sasha and Amy first met on the set of a 1988 Kix commercial. When Amy landed the SNL gig, she begged Sasha to join her, but Sasha chose to follow her dreams of Bryn Athyn stardom, releasing the hit album Raised by a Star. But this summer the friends rediscovered how much they have in common when they bumped into one another at Bryn Athyn’s hottest new club: Steam.

Since the ousting Fey has been trying to hang out with Chara Odhner.

Mysterious screenwriter Chara Odhner left the bright lights of BA for a quieter life in Philly.

Now a top executive at a major ad agency, Odhner recently ditched her old apartment for a two-story loft with a $1.5M price tag.

While Chara claims she hasn’t looked back, a close friend told GAB! that Odhner still has a picture of her family on her desk at work.

Her roommate also overheard her humming “Little Lost Lamb” in the shower.

Odhner’s rep, Doug Keith, declined to comment and tried to redirect the conversation by mentioning the fit of his pants.

New life, new place, new job! What’s next?

 Hilly and Figge Bryntesson looking thoughtfully at a house on South Ave.  Pauline Boyce gluing her art together in her studio in Jenkintown.  Molly Synnestvedt trying out a new dance class, Lindy Hop-Hop, a swing-dancing and hip-hop fusion.  Portia Cooper and Adam Richardson sipping margs at Mad Mex.  Justin Bowyer walking dogs Blue and Zoey so wife Melissa can sleep in.  Brady Glenn and Elmo Acton chatting with fans at the launch of their new calendar at the C&S Club on Alden Road.  Everyone who’s anyone wearing Betsy Asplundh’s limited edition Bryn Athyn Bounty t-shirts.  Serena Sutton purchasing a polyester blazer at Impact!

Thrift Store in Hatboro.  Hannah Simons selling her handcrafted, sustainable Ideas in Wood in Orchard Artworks.  Angela and Michelle Rose on a whitewater rafting trip down the Lehigh River Gorge.

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Mayor McCurdy’s Big Plans Bryn Athyn Mayor Brent McCurdy set his sights much higher than Glencairn Tower

B

rent McCurdy started his term as mayor of Bryn Athyn with a bang, and he intends to go out with one, too! A source within the mayor’s office confirmed that there really is a rumor that McCurdy might throw his hat in the ring for the 2016 US presidential race. McCurdy’s publicist Monica Grant confirmed that while the mayor has not specifically said he intends to run, “he hasn’t ruled it out as a possibility” and is waiting to see how many Super PACs have his back before he commits to any national campaigns. Aurelle Genzlinger, the McCurdy’s neighbor, told GAB! that Brent’s wife Linda wouldn’t

mind upgrading her first-lady status.

But Brent may need to put his house in order before he starts running with the big dogs. His biggest competition might be his charismatic son Blake. Even though he is just a college student, the younger McCurdy is already climbing the political ladder. Classmate Holly Adams informed GAB! that Blake has been planning a political coup of StuGo, at which point he will be poised to follow in daddy’s footsteps as the next mayor of Bryn Athyn. After he achieves this, the next logical step is the presidency.

Will the 2016 election be McCurdy vs. McCurdy?

P

Son Jordan insists on his own floor.

OCTOBER 2012

Former Mayor Hyland Johns is staying impartial.

There Goes the Neighborhood!

The Allens break ground on Cherry Lane.

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Blake takes his future seriously.

ro golfer Darrell Allen and his wife, actress and model Kim Bowyer, bought property on Cherry Lane and are just getting around to building on it this year, sources close to the couple tell GAB! Construction has begun on the couple’s $30M mansion, which is rumored to include both an indoor golf course and pool.

Not all neighbors are excited, though. Kim and Darrell are not the first Allens to move to Bryn Athyn and cause culture shock, and their presence is likely to bring a lot more activity than the quiet, family neighborhood is used to. Says next-door-neighbor Marguerite Herder, “Now that they’re doing construction, I’m never going to be able to sleep! Plus, the huge influx of paparazzi is going to make my life more complicated. Like I don’t have to deal with them hounding me enough ALREADY.” A rep for the Allens says that while the couple understands the neighbors’ reluctance to have them in town, they are confident that once people are invited to their regular block parties catered by their personal chef, Gordon Ramsay, the neighborhood will be glad to have them. Darrell is rumored to have said: “I beat Tiger Woods five years in a row. I can definitely make this new neighborhood work!”

with

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!

B A G MUSIC MANIA REUNION TOUR!

Eraserhead

MUSIC

The band has a long tradition of and devotion to performing for free, largely because no one has ever wanted to pay them.

Pictured here at one of their gigs: “Bunty Funt’s Big Night Out.”

After very little convincing, the band is back together A reunion of the 80’s rock band Eraserhead has been a long time coming. Fans have been patiently aging, and their waiting is about to pay off. Band members Ken Austin, Noel Rhodes, Dave Roth, Anders Alfelt, Owen Rose, Kurt Asplundh, Jeremy Rose, Bret Bostock, and Seth Pendleton are playing what their formergroupies-now-wives hope will be their final show this October in Bryn Athyn!

Eraserhead began when its original members—Austin, Roth, Rhodes, and Alfelt—were in eighth grade. Their maturity levels came across loud and clear, but mostly loud, in their first album Living Scabs. Critics were putoff by the music, which Jeremy Rose compared to “some great lumbering beast that arises out of the mist without warning and goes on a rampage.”

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OCTOBER 2012

Like something from an old sci-fi movie, the band kept growing and evolving. They added new members, including Jonathan Rose and Blane Bostock, and had guest appearances by Mark Wyncoll, Bon Jovi, Rachel Hotson, Michelle Synnestvedt, Elephant Man, Erin Fiedler, and Bruce Maciaczyk. They made Tony “Bones” Rose band manager because he had all of the passion but a complete lack of musical talent.

Eraserhead by any other name is still Eraserhead, but that didn’t stop the group from trying out various options such as The Ticonderogas, #2 is Number One, and Gerson Antell and His Serenaders.

After settling on the name Eraserhead, they adopted an unmistakable identity.

As Ken Austin explained, “We enjoyed pushing the edge of acceptability, vol-

ume, and normalcy.” Kurt Asplundh fondly described it as “the world’s worst band,” but also added that it was “better value for your musical dollar.”

The band exhibited a commitment to utopian leadership, which was more like a permanent state of anarchy as they constantly switched up lead vocalists and who played which instrument. This simultaneously prevented and promoted discord. Without any clear leader, Eraserhead has been able to stay together for decades, which is an achievement because, Seth Pendleton said, “We never really liked each other in the first place.”

The motley Eraserhead crew will rally on Charter Day for what critics are calling “the caboose performance of the Little Engine That Couldn’t.”

MUSIC MUSTS

Four Directions starts touring Nov. 1

FOUR DIRECTIONS OUT NOW

Sons of Art

Good Old-Fashioned Fashion The Sons of Art have finally re-released their new CD after having to recall three million original copies due to an unfortunate typo. The entire album is barbershop gold with each song a cut above the last. By the time you get to the last track, you will feel like you’ve hit the

a cappella jackpot. While they stay true to their traditional heartwarming harmonies, the Sons also incorporate new-fangled touches like tasteful beat-boxing and frequent bow-tie wardrobe changes. Don’t miss the bonus blooper track!

OUT OCT 20

Ryan Tennis

Pack Light but Bring Everything Starting with it’s title and ending with Track 13, Ryan Tennis’ new album is a contradiction in the best sense of the word. The soothing melodies are complemented by vocalist’s trademark backup sneezes, which are sure to alarm and delight. Despite Tennis’ advice, listeners will want to leave everything behind as they embark on this musical journey to nowhere. Grammy-winning producer/songwriter Scot Sax says, “He has what you can’t buy.” Except you can. So buy his album today!

Fans will sob uncontrollably when they hear these adorable child prodigies perform live in sold-out venues across Bryn Athyn. A boy band in the most literal sense, this up-and-coming group’s set list includes their first hit, “I’ll Like Them Eventually, But Girls Are Just Okay For Now,” as well as their current chart-topper, “You DO Know You’re Beautiful Because You’re Self-Aware.”

READE MCCARDELL

Musical maverick Reade “Fewsh” McCardell is going global for his first-ever tour! Not wanting to leave former McCardell Fresh Cut Salads band mates behind, McCardell hired them as backup dancers and pyrotechnicians.

The tour starts with a bang in Beijing, where McCardell hopes to quickly improve his Mandarin so he can serenade his audience with tunes other than “Where Is The Library” and “Thank You, Brown Dog.”

LINDSAY KLOC

With the fashion style of Amy Winehouse and the musical talent of Hannah Montana, Lindsay Kloc has crafted Kloc a terrifyingly good poppunk album. Her upcoming tour is designed to confound audiences, who won’t be certain if they are screaming at her or with her.

Frequent and increasingly strange wardrobe changes will add to the bewilderment and delight. Purchase tickets now for the show many have described as a “haunted sing-a-long!”

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MOVIES

YEAR’S BEST MOVIES

Carla Odhner’s sophomore debut proves that the actress/model/ singer/director/stuntwoman still has what it takes.

BRIDGING THE GAP OUT NOW

Gentle Bean The autobiographical film chronicles Odhner’s tragic but ultimately optimistic struggle with her Jekyll-and-Hyde personality. On her bad days, this L.A. snob is oblivious to the way her gruff, bordering-on-vicious temperament metaphorically maims anyone who gets in her way. But occasionally, Odhner’s wild personality is tamed. Her insatiable appetite for meat changes to a preference for honey pots, and her penchant for terrorizing campgrounds switches to an innate awareness that only she can prevent forest fires. Audiences will be especially touched by the scene when a rampaging Odhner immediately softens at the sight of her best friend Christopher Rubin. Critics are already buzzing about the sequel, Mama Bear.

Starring Stewart Farmer and Kristine Medley After a devastating earthquake, an architect spends four years and three months devising a method to cross the abyss that separates him from his true love.

MARILYN: WHAT A GAL Starring Brittany Odhner

Director Skye Kerr speculates what Monroe’s life would have been like had she left show biz and moved to the Rocky Mountains.

OUT IN JULY

The Motherland After capturing much of Archibald Ollennu’s mesmerizing life on camera, awardwinning director Adam Cole wove the colorful stories of this Ghanaian native into a rich tapestry that falls just short of a masterpiece. The documentary follows Ollennu from his boyhood in rural Africa, through the twists and turns of his charmed life, to the present day in the Motor City, where Arch is living the dream. Audiences will think they are fully satisfied by Ollennu’s larger-than-life charisma, but they won’t be able to say no when the Cole boys (Thane, Adam, and Josh) enter the picture, and they too will fall in love with Arch’s American princess, Nicole Pitcairn. Critics promise that you will want to ride off into the sunset with these characters and say the best part about this story is that it’s “for real.”

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OCTOBER 2012

ON THE FENCE

Starring Angella Irwin A talented musician’s wavering ways have gotten her only borderline success, when a mind-blowing soup recipe changes her life.

CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: CLINTON H. WALLACE/NPG.COM; JUDY EDDY/WENN; KEVAN BROOKS/ADMEDIA; HUMBERTO CARRENO/STARTRACKSPHOTO.COM; E! ENTERTAINMENT; ALBERT MICHAEL/STARTRACKSPHOTO.COM

RERPDET Who Wore it Best?

CA GAB asked ____ people in C______

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“Two tiny thumbs up!”

- The Economist

WALTMUSICDISNEY PICTURESCOSTUME IN ASSOCIATION WITH SILVERNOVA PICTURES PRESENTS A FILM BY ARIA CARTER CHYLER MERCY HENDERSON “THUMBELINA” EDITED PRODUCTION DIRECTOR OF

BY DALE ZECHER DESIGNER CHONG JENNY SON BY SASHA SILVERMAN, A.C.E DESIGNER CHARA ODHNER PHOTOGRAPHY KAT GATTI, ASC EXECUTIVE PRODUCED STORY PRODUCER BRENT SCHNARR JARED ALDEN

BY AURELLE GENZLINGER BY AINSLEY ODHNER

SCREENPLAY DIRECTED G

BY GLEN HENDERSON

BY JUSTIN BOWYER GENERAL AUDIENCES ALL AGES ADMITTED

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OCTOBER 2012