3 Communication Secrets

3 SECRETS THAT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER COMMUNICATOR

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YOU CAN BECOME A BETTER COMMUNICATOR Your ability to communicate effectively with other people is the difference between a normal life and a great life.

Improving the way you communicate can help you get more out of your job, more out of your relationships and more out of life in general.

The problem is, there is a perception that people can’t improve the way they communicate, that some people have got it, and others just don’t. Well, at Hear Me Now, we know that’s not true. In fact we know…

YOU CAN BECOME A BETTER COMMUNICATOR How do we know ?

Well, we’ve worked with lots of clients, all of whom have improved the way they communicate and yes, have started getting more out of their life as a result.

So to help you start on your way to changing your life, here are 3 Key Coaching Secrets that we teach all of our clients in our Hear Me Now online courses.

Understanding these secrets will help guide the way you communicate in future, and will set you on the path for getting more from life.

SECRET 1

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD LISTENER

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I’m sure you’ve heard it so many times before…

“Oh he’s such a good listener” Well, the truth is, there’s no such thing as a good listener!

The way we see it, you’re either listening, or you’re not… There’s no good or bad about it!

To actually listen to someone, you need to do a few crucial things: 1.You need to put down your phone!

2.You need to be fully present in that moment.

3.You need to give that person 100% of your attention.

The second you stop doing all 3 of these things, you simply are NOT listening any more. In fact, M. Scott Peck said it best when he said: You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time M. Scott Peck

The trouble is, doing these 3 things every time someone talks to you isn’t as easy as it sounds.

OK, number 1 is easy… Or at least it should be!

Number 2 and 3 are more challenging that you would think…

You really need to wipe your mind of all other thoughts. You need to forget your emails, your Facebook feed and your to-do list, and zone into your speaking partner’s point.

Even once you manage to do that, you need to silence those thoughts that pop into your head while the other person is talking.

Understanding this secret will: • Help you connect with people better.

• Help you to understand what people are really trying to say.

• Help you consistently deliver better answers or arguments.

Instead of thinking about what you will say next, just try intently to understand every To really test if you are listening to understand, after word that leaves their mouth.

EXERCISE

you’ve had a conversation with someone, try to write

We call this listening to understand, instead down the top 3 headline points that they were makof listening to answer. ing. If you are able to add quite a lot of detail to those If you manage to consistently listen to underpoints then it shows you were listening. stand, they you will be a certified listener…

Not a good listener… Just a listener.

SECRET 2

EVERYONE CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE LYING

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What’s the best lie detector out there?

It’s true, humans are extremely good at knowing when you’re telling a lie. Even if your audience doesn’t consciously realise that you are lying, they will pick up on certain signs that will give them a feeling of unease, or distrust.

That’s because when we lie, our behaviour changes in very particular ways. Actually, not only when we lie… This happens when we say anything that doesn’t exactly align with the way we think or feel.

So this applies to that occasion when you agree with your boss because you don’t want to upset them…

When you lie about the exactly where you live to give a better impression When you say you liked a film because everyone else you’re speaking to did We usually end up in situations like this because we want to fit in better, and connect with people more.

However, lying, or not being honest with yourself, always results in creating a big distance between you and your speaking partner.

The key here is to always be as honest as possible. Even if you don’t think it will please the people around you, it will earn you more respect and authority in the long run.

Plus it will boost your confidence. If you let other people influence how you express your true feelings, you begin to feel subservient and unimportant.

Conversely, once you start being honest and saying what you really mean, regardless of the thoughts of others, you will grow in confidence and will become much more of an authority.

Doing this is the foundation of living life authentically.

Understanding this secret will: • Help you grow in confidence.

• Help you gain respect.

• Help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

EXERCISE

When you next find yourself in a group conversation, try to remember the points you make and the opinions you give.

Afterwards, cross check these with yourself. If you still completely agree with the things you said and expressed, then you’re being authentic. If there are doubts in your mind about whether you agree, then you may need to be more honest with yourself in future.

SECRET 3

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GROWTH MIND SET ALWAYS WINS What is a growth mind set?

Simply put, it is a perspective on life that dictates that you can grow and learn from any situation that you find yourself in.

What’s that got to do with being a communicator?

With a growth mind set, a person will be relentlessly curious and open to new ideas and experiences. This means, when you are put into a personal interaction with someone else, you will be naturally curious and passionate to hear about the other person’s views and you will connect with them on a far deeper level.

Someone that has a growth mind set will realise what Bill Nye famously said: Every single person you ever meet will know something that you don’t Bill Nye

Once you adopt this mind set, you view every interaction as a learning experience and not as a situation that you need to either avoid, or get out of.

This is why the Growth Mind set always wins… 100 times out of 100.

Understanding this secret will: • Help you connect with people on a deeper level.

• Help you become more open.

• Help you learn much more.

EXERCISE

The next time you find yourself in a position where you have just met someone and you are talking to them, try to find out more about their interests and passions. If you have this purpose in the conversation, then are bound to find out something new during the conversation, and you will be personifying a Growth Mind Set.

6 WE WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE BY MAKING YOU A BETTER COMMUNICATOR

At HEAR ME NOW, we exist for 2 reasons: 1. To help people to believe they can improve their communication skills.

2. To improve their life by helping them to improve these skills.

We have loads of free communication coaching content on our site and Facebook page, and we urge you to go and experience it for yourself.

Hopefully you will find lots of good coaching that will help you, but if you don’t, or you want info on a specific topic, then send us an email: oliver@hearmenow.me Good luck with your coaching, and remember, just by making this step, you now have a major advantage over every other person out there!

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