ASK A SCHOOL BATHROOM NIC FIEND

Dear School Bathroom Nic Fiend,

My boyfriend of 8 months and I just broke up. Even though my friends tell me it will get better, I’m struggling to picture my life without him. I can barely get out of bed each morning and I’ve been hours late to school everyday this week. I have a big essay due this weekend, but every time I sit down to write it, I just end up sobbing all over my computer. How can I get myself through this and will I ever feel love again?

-Lost in Language Arts

Dear Lost in Language Arts,

I only need a hit. Just a couple hits. Please, my pod is empty. Just to get me through this next class. I’m literally shaking. Please! Thanks bro. Huh pfffff. One more? Huh pfffff. Wait please just a couple more, I just have a high tolerance. Huh pffff. Huh pfff. Bless bro.

Dear School Bathroom Nic Fiend,

I particularly enjoyed your advice to Lost in Language Arts, whose boyfriend had just broken up with her. I’m kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum. I have a big crush on a guy in my 4th period math class who’s super cute, but every time I try to talk to him I blush and can barely get any words out. It’s like he hypnotizes me and I just end up making a fool out of myself. We just changed seats, and we now sit at the same table group. Any tips on how to talk to him?

-Crushing in Calculus

Dear

Crushing in Calculus,

Dawg, I know you hooked me up yesterday, but I really need some before this test. Just a few hits. I don’t got money to buy a new pod right now. I owe you big time bro. Check out my ghost. Huh… cough cough. Oh sh*t there’s Mr. Firman.

If anybody is in Mr. Khan’s class, this is for you

Make as many words as possible with the letters in GARFIELD

Rules:

1. For simplicity’s sake, each letter of GARFIELD may only be used once in each word

2. Words must be four or more letters

3. Us (the writers) have edited a list of words that we’ve deemed to be acceptable, such as being used in common english and being in a dictionary like Merriam-Webster

Please go to Mr Kahn’s room (Room 205) for the full list of words