THE KING OF GARFIELD LARPING

Trayfe Mcofskey details the Garfield LARPing teams victory this year.

By Lucy Gaines

We hear a lot about our nationally ranked basketball teams, but there are certainly a lot of unsung heroes here in the Garfield athletic department. For example, did you even know that the GHS LARPing team won nationals this year? Yea I didn’t think so. LARPIng (Live Action Role Playing) you may have seen them dressed up in the park on a Sunday and said, “Wtf?” Trayfe Mcofskey is the captain of this team and he has a lot to say about their win and the tough road to get there.

Q: describe your journey to nationals

A: It wasn’t easy, the scoring system for LARP competitions is rigorous: there’s style points, realism for action and costumes, romance points as well as death creativity. We were forced to constantly be creative. I had to change my character many times to keep the judges interested throughout the month-long competition.

For our national competition, we dove deep into the elf lore and performed a captivating battle scene between the elves of Bloblaught and the dragon of Blart.

Q: Oh… tell me more about the team:

A: Theres Dwarfan, Me, Joffrey, Qinnethon, and Litmith.

Q: How does someone join?

A: We make sure all new members earn a place on the sir-LARPsirlots. Once vetted by the first elimination round, you have to prove that you can master all parts of the LARP experience: you must win a joust against a senior member, you must perform a moving battle death, and act out one of the four following mythical creatures: a dragon, a sorcerer, a elf, or a troll.

Q: You’re a sophomore now right? What do you see happening for the future of this team?

A: Well I really just want it to get the recognition it deserves. We are without dispute the best athletic unit at Garfield, better than basketball, better than football and the record shows we deserve just as much as they do. I would love to see one of the basketball players try to pretend to sword fight in full costume and makeup, they would soon find it’s much harder and more strenuous. Sure we got our own $25,000 check but we want the fame and the fanfare.

Q: Don’t you think that’s a little unrealistic?

A: Why? We are better, we deserve better, I already have multiple Division one schools recruiting me for their LARPing programs.

Q: Ya, of course, but at the end of the day, you’re running around a park in costume.

A: I denounce your implication that we are unathletic and silly. LARPing is a nobel sport, a very athletic sport, the best to ever exist.

TRACK AND FIELD ADDS NEW EVENT: CHEESE ROLLING

While track and field has long standing traditional events like sprints, hurdles or even pole vaulting, the addition of a new event could make the upcoming season much more challenging and entertaining. What better event to add to track and field than a 100 meter cheese running race? Similar to cheese rolling, players will line up with circular cheese of Double Gloucester weighing seven to nine pounds tied around their ankle. At the sound of the horn, participants will begin running, pulling the cheese down the track. The first to round the track twice with their cheese roll still intact is the winner! Adapting the beloved event from Gloucester England to a al track event at Garfield would cer create a more amusing season.

Baseball Wears Inflatable Dinosaur Costumes For Anniversary Game

For their upcoming Dinosaur Remembrance Day baseball game, the GHS baseball team will be playing a friendly scrimmage game while wearing inflatable dinosaur costumes. The game will take place at the Garfield Lower Field on Friday, April 14 during 3rd period. The benefits of dressing up in inflatable dinosaur costumes are numerous. Not only will windbags in the shape of dinosaurs flailing around on the field add to the entertainment value of the game and make baseball a much more difficult sport to sleep through, but they will also protect the players from the cold of spring with added insulation.

BOYS’ SOCCER CHANGES MASCOT TO HANDSOME SQUIDWARD

Although Garfield has chosen the tough, sprightly bulldog to represent our athletic prowess since the opening of our school, the Boys’ Soccer team was over being one with the masses. In an attempt to differentiate themselves from the herd, they decided that the meme-famous Handsome Squidward was a better representation of their team culture and spirit. The soccer team acknowledges that a uniform redesign in the middle of the season will be costly, but hopes their investment will bring joy to the future soccer players of GHS. They would like to thank Seattle Parks and Rec* for their generous donation towards this team rebrand.

*not a sponsor or affiliation