THE HOME & LIVING ISSUE 1HZ +RPH %HQHoWV 1 Home Finance Options H Legal Considerations L Professional Renovations P
FAMILY CELEBRATES ITS 10TH BIRTHDAY!
August 2015
PLUS Ribena Exposed | Re-Introducing Tom of Finland | News
Out & About | Gay Ski Week Update | Lysistrata | NZ Opera's Tosca
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From The Editor Happy Birthday Family!
What's Inside
This month we bring to you our home and living issue. Auckland’s property market has featured quite prominently in the news recently, so if you’re thinking of getting into the market, express has you covered! For all of the most important aspects of home ownership from home finance to the benefits of building new, we hope we can make things a little easier for you!
4 News News NewNew report report condemns condemns Australia’s Australia’s treatment treatment of GLBT of GLBT asylum asylum seekers, seekers, Farmers Farmers introduces introduces Trans friendly Trans friendly changing changing roomsrooms and 6.5% andof 6.5% of Australian Australian youthyouth identity identity as gay. as gay. 8-17 Express ExpressHome Home&&Living Living feature feature Levi Joule Levi Joule chats chats with with
It’s worth nothing that New Zealand’s most popular gay nightclub marks its 10 year anniversary this month. In a rapidly changing gay world, Family appears to be going from strength to strength. On our cover we have the club’s trademark drag queen Miss Ribena who has also given express an exclusive behind the scenes look into her life out of drag. Also coming up this month is Gay Ski Week! Make sure you’re checking out gayexpress.co.nz daily where I will be reporting on all of the action direct from Queenstown!
G.J. Gardner G.J. Gardner aboutabout the benefits the benefits of building of building a newahome, new home, finance, finance, legal and legalrenovation and renovation projects projects are also areexplored. also explored.
08-17
Ski Week Update MoreMore 18ay Gay Ski Week Update detailsdetails of theof week big events. the week big events. 20 Hottie of of thethe Month Hottie Month Bintang’s Bintang’s Model Coach newnew Model Coach Brogan
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www.gayexpress.co.nz
24 Re-introducing Tom of of Finland Re-introducing Tom Finland New range New sexsex toytoy range inspired by the inspired by the iconic Finnish artist. iconic Finnish artist. 28 Ribena Exposed AnAn exclusive Ribena Exposed
Cover Photo | Dan Liu. For more: News, interviews, scene pictures, entertainment stories and reviews, updated daily, keep visiting:
Brogan Wilkinson. Wilkinson.
20
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exclusive interview Family’s interview withwith Family’s iconic iconicdrag dragqueen. queen. 33 Tosca A preview of NZ Tosca A preview of NZ Opera’s Opera’s upcoming production. upcoming production.
Whether buying or selling a home, or putting property in trust, it’s important to have all angles covered. Talk to the real-deal lawyers who understand your needs. At LawWorks we pride ourselves on more than 28 years of providing legal advice to the rainbow community in all areas of law.
NEWS
New Report Slams Australia's Treatment of GLBT Asylum Seekers Contact Phone 09 360 7671 Fax 09 360 7663 2 Vermont Street Ponsonby, Auckland
People Editor Oliver Hall editor@gayexpress.co.nz News Editor Levi Joule 027 973 3084 news@gayexpress.co.nz Advertising Kunal Sharma 027 315 0433 advertise@gayexpress.co.nz Design Patric Seng design@gayexpress.co.nz Administration Kunal Sharma 027 315 0433 admin@gayexpress.co.nz Photography Dan Liu 021 142 5269 dan.liu.nz@gmail.com
Publisher Cornerstone Publications Ltd PO Box 47514 Ponsonby, Auckland 1144 Printer PMP
www.gayexpress.co.nz Ideas and opinions expressed in articles or advertisements in express are not necessarily representative of Cornerstone Publications Ltd. Publication of the name or photograph or likeness of any person in express is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such persons or organisations and any similarity between individuals named or described in fiction articles and actual persons living is purely coincidental. Publication of any letters/ articles/photographs is at the discretion of the publishers and the right is reserved to withhold/alter/edit and comment on any article, letter, or advertisement published. Permission must be gained prior to reproduction of any articles or photographs contained in express. express’s list of mail subscribers is confidential and is not sold, rented or leased to anyone at any time. Orders for any products/ services advertised in express are made by readers at their own risk.
4 | August 2015 |
A new Human Rights Watch report has heavily criticised the Australian government’s approach to dealing with asylum seekers and in particular GLBT asylum seekers. Compiled by the Human Rights Watch and the Human Rights Law Centre, the report was put together based on several interviews with asylum seekers, immigration RI¿FLDOV SROLFH KRVSLWDO VWDII DQG RWKHU VHUYLFH SURYLGHUV Australia currently has in place the controversial practice of offshore processing for those seeking asylum, with the detention centre located on Manus Island in Papua 1HZ *XLQHD )ROORZLQJ D ODZ FKDQJH LQ E\ WKHQ Prime Minster Kevin Rudd, those arriving in Australia by boat will have no chance of settlement in Australia, with resettlement for those whose asylum claims are approved to be made in Papua New Guinea – a country where it is a FULPLQDO RIIHQFH WR KDYH FRQVHQVXDO KRPRVH[XDO VH[ Elaine Pearson, Australia director at Human Rights Watch VDLG WKHUH ZHUH VLJQL¿FDQW FRQFHUQV UDLVHG DERXW WKH SROLF\
RI UHVHWWOHPHQW RI DV\OXP VHHNHUV LQ 3DSXD 1HZ *XLQHD “We did hear there were some who were refusing to move to the transit centre because they were concerned about safety issues and repercussions from the authorities,� “They were scared they would be thrown in jail for being gay� 3HDUVRQ VDLG Asylum seekers are going to great measures to avoid persecution in PNG, said Pearson, with one man ripping up his documentation after being processed and opting to return WR KLV KRPH FRXQWU\ LQVWHDG “I have not come to stay in Manus, a country where it’s SRVVLEOH >IRU D JD\ PDQ@ WR EH MDLOHG IRU \HDUV ,I , ZDQWHG to live like this I would have stayed in Iran and gone to prison, been released, and then sent to prison again,� said DQ DQRQ\PRXV DV\OXP VHHNHU TXRWHG LQ WKH UHSRUW Article | Levi Joule.
Contributors Anthony Butler Stu Cook Evan Donnelly Kevin Dunseath
Oliver Hall Jamie Hannon Levi Joule Dan Liu
Lisa Luke Michelle Adrian Pearce Jess Reddaway Alexia Santamaria
Patric Seng Suki Zhang
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NEWS
Couple Refused Consent to Leave Thailand With Baby After Surrogate Mother Learnt Pair Were Gay
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6 | August 2015 |
Two gay fathers are trapped in Thailand with their surrogate baby daughter after the birth mother refused to allow them to leave the country, claiming they are not an ‘ordinary’ couple after she learnt the couple were gay.
The surrogate has also made an appearance on Thai TV saying she had wanted to help a “legitimate married couple� and did not understand the surrogacy contract because it ZDV LQ (QJOLVK
American Gordon Lake and his Spanish husband, Manuel, were given Carmen in January when the surrogate signed papers allowing her to be released from hospital after the birth, however the surrogate later refused to sign documents allowing Carmen to get a passport, saying she had not realised the men ZHUH JD\
Read full story at gayexpress.co.nz.
The surrogate – who is biologically unrelated to the baby – handed over baby Carmen to Gordon Lake, an American, and his Spanish husband, Manuel, in January but later refused to sign documents to allow the infant to get a passport, 7KH *XDUGLDQ UHSRUWV The couple has now gone into hiding with their daughter at a secret location in Bangkok fearing VKH FRXOG EH WDNHQ IURP WKHP The surrogate’s lawyer, Verutai Maneenuchanert, said the mother only learned the men were gay when she saw documents left in her hospital URRP DIWHU WKH ELUWK
gayexpress.co.nz
NEWS
European Court of Human Rights Rules Italian Same-Sex Couples Have a Right to Legal Recognition In a landmark decision, the European Court of Human Rights has ruled that same sex couples have a right WR OHJDO UHFRJQLWLRQ The decision which was on the case of Oliari and 2WKHUV Y ,WDO\ UHVXOWHG LQ WKH MXGJHV UXOLQJ LQ IDYRU RI WKUHH VDPH VH[ FRXSOHV ZKR KDG EURXJKW WKH FDVH against the Italian government, unanimously agreeing WKDW ,WDO\ LQ IDLOLQJ WR PDNH DYDLODEOH ³D VSHFL¿F OHJDO framework providing for the recognition and protection RI VDPH VH[ XQLRQV ´ ZDV LQ YLRODWLRQ RI $UWLFOH RI WKH (&+5 Italy is the only major Western European country with QR FLYLO SDUWQHUVKLSV RU JD\ PDUULDJH Read the full article on gayexpress.co.nz. Articles | Levi Joule.
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HOME & LIVING
The Benefits of Building a New Home
Instead of buying, why not build? Levi Joule chats with Ellie Porteous about the benefits of building new. Thought building a new home was not an option? The reality is if you have money to buy an existing property, you most likely can build the home of your dreams. As central and local government look to free up more land as a result of Auckland’s booming property market, house construction activity is set to surge, particularly on the outskirts of the city. Ellie Porteous from New Zealand’s leading building company G.J. Gardner tells express 10 | August 2015 |
that in the current market, building is a very attractive possibility. “In times when the price of existing homes is rising, as it is currently in the Auckland market, you will often find it is cheaper to build a similar home." "Customers find that by the time the home is complete it is valued at more than they have had to pay." Ellie says. There are a number of significant advantages to building a new home. Building a new home means the chance to express what you really want and to make your
home a statement about you. It can also signal a fresh start and the opportunity to mark a new beginning for you and your family. There are also a number of very practical considerations that make building a new home a more attractive option that buying. These include: t #VJMEJOH DPNQMJBODF JT NPSF SJHJE UIFTF EBZT a home built 5 years ago can be quite different to a home built today. t ɨF NBUFSJBMT BSF HFOFSBMMZ CFUUFS BOE UIFSF gayexpress.co.nz
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t "OE HFOFSBMMZ TQFBLJOH B new home gives you better performance and more chance of equity. Building a new home is not just about producing a building at the end. The process in itself can be just as exciting as the finished product and with G.J. Gardner, building your new home will be hassle free. "G.J. Gardner takes away the worry because we can take care of everything, including permits, resource consents, planning issues, engineering, drainage and geotechnical reports. We can even help you find a section and sort out finance and payment terms to make it as simple as possible." Ellie tells express. New Zealand’s most inclusive building company G.J. Gardner Homes understands the needs of all parts of New Zealand society, including the GLBT community. They would love the opportunity to build your new home and
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G.J. Gardner’s service "promises to provide exceptional value, genuine commitment, and building quality homes that stand the test of time." That formula has lead to G.J. Gardner's very quickly becoming New Zealand’s most successful home building company. Ellie Porteous says there is no need to be intimidated by the idea of building, although many people are. "Many people have heard that it is stressful and of all the issues that can arise during the build of a new home. Choosing the right builder is key. We have many repeat customers, they loved the experience so much."
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“G.J. Gardner builds around 1,000 homes a year and we pride ourselves on our customer service ethos so with our experience we take the stress out of the process for the customer, taking responsibility for all parts of the build from the time we lodge the consent with the council to handing you the keys to your brand new home."
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HOME & LIVING
Home Finance Options express speaks to ASB’s head of home lending Vince Clark for some advice on dealing with the bank when buying your first home.
What should you consider as a first homebuyer before coming in to ASB and having a chat? Borrowing a large amount of money to buy a house can be daunting and stressful. But the bank is here to guide you through the process and provide you with all the options. If you are looking to take out a mortgage, here are some things to consider: ɨF 3FTFSWF #BOL T DVSSFOU MPBO UP WBMVF SBUJP (LVR) restrictions mean many borrowers need to have a deposit of at least 20 per cent, but banks do have some capacity to lend to those with smaller deposits so it pays to talk to your 12 | August 2015 |
bank. The Reserve Bank has also signalled some changes to their LVR restrictions later in the year so talking to your bank early about your plans is important. If you don’t have a deposit, it’s still good to start building a relationship with your bank. Talk to your banker about what you are trying to achieve and see if they can help you with your savings goals. Be upfront about your financial position from the outset. Be prepared before you meet with the bank by knowing what products you have from your
bank and what you pay for them. Competition between banks in the home loan market means there are some great deals on offer to first home buyers at the moment. Banks are often flexible with their offers and will consider factors such as how much equity you have in the property and how much other business you have with the bank. Broadly speaking, what are the finance options available? Getting a mortgage remains the most common finance option people use to buy a home. Loans DPNF JO BMM TIBQFT BOE TJ[FT :PV MM OFFE UP gayexpress.co.nz
HOME & LIVING
make decisions on fixed or floating rates (or a combination of both), or whether you will NBLF JOUFSFTU POMZ SFQBZNFOUT PS UBLF PVU B specialised insurance plan. Once you’ve decided on the type of loan you XBOU BTL UIF CBOL GPS B QSF BQQSPWBM XIJDI will outline how much you can borrow. This is particularly useful when you want to go to auctions and put a bid on properties. KiwiSaver can be used to help you into your first home. If you’ve been in KiwiSaver for more than three years, you might be able to withdraw some of the funds to put towards your deposit. Depending on your income and how much you spend on a house, you might also be eligible for a KiwiSaver deposit subsidy. We recommend you explore whether the KiwiSaver subsidy and
withdrawals are options for you. Does the current current economic climate make now a good time to be looking at getting a loan? Property ownership has been, and is likely to remain, a key goal for most New Zealanders. Interest rates are currently falling, which means there are some great deals to be had as far as home loan interest rates are concerned. Interest rates are of course subject to change, so it is best to talk to your bank about your property goals so they can tailor a solution that meets your needs. The bank takes a range of factors into account in making lending decisions. These include understanding your credit history and ability to
TFSWJDF UIF MPBO SFQBZNFOU CBTFE PO ZPVS MFGU over income after expenses. Why consider ASB? There are plenty of good reasons why you should take a good look at an ASB home loan. We have competitive interest rates, great product options and expert staff to help you every step of the way. Visit www.asb.co.nz for more information about banking with ASB. Article | Levi Joule.
Score our latest home loan offer. Talk to us about our special interest rate. Plus with new home lending of $100,000 or more you’ll get a $300 allblackshop.com voucher to buy ofďŹ cial All Blacks supporters gear.
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ASB’s lending criteria, terms, conditions and fees apply. Visit asb.co.nz/homeloans for full Ts&Cs. ASB fixed housing special rate criteria: Min 20% equity in the security property, main transactional account with ASB with income (salary, wages, rents or business income) credited to this account and one other ASB product. Fixed housing special rates are subject to change and not available with other ASB discounts or packages. A loan processing fee of $400 may apply. Early repayment adjustments may apply. All Blacks online shop voucher criteria: Offer available to new qualifying home lending with ASB of at least $100,000 which is drawn down between 2 July 2015 and the 16 October 2015. A limit of one All Blacks online shop voucher per application or customer. Voucher is not transferable for cash.
HOME & LIVING
The Legal Considerations of Buying Property
There are a number of legal issues you must consider before buying property. Levi Joule chats with Tony Walker from LawWorks to discuss the issues that you will likely encounter when buying together. Buying property may be the biggest financial decision they will make. Rarely will the process be a straightforward matter, meaning there are a number of considerations that will need to be made before any paperwork is signed.
type of title which will be purchased. “There are numerous kinds of titles each with their own little characteristics that you need to be very familiar with.” Seeking legal advice early on in the process is important. “First thing to do would be to have a chat with us about the type of property you’re looking at so we can give you some tips to deal with these issues and tell you which property title may best suit your needs” Tony says.
First Things First Tony Walker from Auckland firm LawWorks says the first legal consideration should be the 14 | August 2015 |
There are also special considerations to be made when buying together. “If you’re buying with your partner there are all sorts of issues
to consider.” “Do you have Wills, how long have you lived together? Does the Property Relationship Act apply to you?” Tony says. “If you have been together for a long time you may want to consider some sort of property agreement between the two of you.”
Property Ownership Structures The type of property ownership entered into as a couple can be critical to your future financial security. Putting the property into a trust can also be a gayexpress.co.nz
HOME & LIVING
good option if buying as a single person, as it may provide protection to property from any possible future relationships which may be entered into. For the couples however, the two most likely ownership models will be joint ownership and tenancy in common. Joint ownership means on the death of one of you, the ownership passes to the survivor” Tony says. Tenancy in common, means you own your share independently of each other. Tony says the tenancy in common is a particularly good model for new couples who have lived together for less than three years as the Property Relationship Act wouldn’t yet apply.
If Things Go Wrong
the purchase or maintenance of that property.
Even though most couples don’t like discussing it, it is very wise to prepare for the possibility of a split in the relationship in the future.
A contract between 2 or more owners of property before they buy, can deal with all of the issues that are likely to arise in the future if one of the parties wishes to leave the property sharing relationship.
It should be written in the contract how they’ll get their money back from the house. Three years into a relationship the relationship act will then kick in, meaning, “in very simple terms the house you live in and the chattels in it” will become relationship property to be shared equally between you, Tony says. Put simply, if a couple has lived together “in the nature of marriage” in the same property for three years or more the property is considered relationship property, regardless of how much either partner has contributed to
Nothing in this article should be regarded as legal advice. Readers should seek professional legal advice before purchasing property, particularly if purchasing with another person. For that reason, a chat to LawWorks before purchasing a property is a very good idea. Contact Tony Walker tony@lawworksnz.com Article & Photo | Levi Joule.
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HOME & LIVING
When it Comes to Renovating, Leave it to The Prof
B e f o re Building new isn’t for everybody, Levi Joule chats with Jo Marsden from BRS about the many possibilities home renovation offers. When you renovate your own property you get exactly what you want in the property you love, and put your own personal stamp on it, while retaining all your prior happy memories from living there. For a number of different reasons, renovation can often be the best option for many.
heritage also. “BRS has a proven track record with villas, bungalows and historic restorations, including some of the older churches around Auckland Central. We pay careful attention to the architectural detail, and we love older, beautiful character homes – and bringing out the absolute best in them. “ Jo tells express.
Jo says that while BRS does do new builds, they specialise in renovations particularly with villas and bungalows, an expertise which “isn’t necessarily something every builder can provide” Jo says.
Jo says there is still quite a significant ‘do up culture’ in Auckland with renovating still an attractive option for many. She says that while many feel they may have the skills for large scale home renovation, seeking experience is still the best option. “Some people might have a talent for it, but a lot of the time it can all get a bit overwhelming.”
BRS has a commitment to preserving Auckland’s
Starting, but not finishing a home renovation
16 | August 2015 |
can leave some home owners in a very difficult situation. “The last thing we like to see is clients who have been going to work and desperately finishing projects around their house in mess and inconvenience after hours. It’s tiring and exhausting and quite often they don’t have the skills to complete the work to be in accordance with Council Regulations, which would then invalidate their insurance and lower their property value.” Jo says. Speaking to professionals such as BRS can make all the difference between a successful home renovation and a loss of financial security, particularly with the scale and scope of renovating that BRS have to offer. “I think the scope of renovations that we often gayexpress.co.nz
fessionals undertake are large enough to put off FWFO UIF NPTU FOUIVTJBTUJD %*: FSw Jo tells express. “But particularly with villas and bungalows, there’s a level of skill required to work on them to preserve the beauty of timbers and maintain an authentic feel throughout the home. There’s also a distinct skill in marrying older buildings with modern conveniences, and knowing exactly how to approach a renovation in this manner is something that we pride ourselves on.� BRS is happy to offer a complete package from the very start of the renovating process through to the end or as Jo puts it “from the first spark
of inspiration to the final nail.� “Renovations can be stressful and expensive, and translating a clients dream into hard reality is what we do best at BRS Ltd. “ Jo says. “BRS provides architectural services, concept drawings, project management, fixed quotes with predictable progress payments, complete scope of works and of course, the valuable expertise that makes a project run with efficiency and minimal stress to our clients.�
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GAY SKI WEEK
Gay Ski Week - Further Updates!
As Queenstown prepares for Gay Ski Week, Levi Joule takes a further look at some of the week’s big events. Queenstown will be the place to be from August 29th – September 6th with not one, but two gay ski weeks being held, transforming Queenstown into the Southern Hemisphere’s gay capital.
Legendary Sydney DJ Kitty Glitter is set to “break the sound barrier� on Sunday 30 August as Brisbane based party Fluffy comes to Queenstown. Kitty Glitter’s talent as a DJ Drag performer is second to none, with one music critic once saying the Sydney based performer was “unlike any DJ appearance I’ve ever experienced� This is one event not to be missed.
Gay Ski Week NZ has organised an array of events and kicks off with “Break The Ice Party,� on Saturday 29 August, an evening of cocktails and tapas with organisers saying to “get your goggles on and kick start this epic week the right way!�
On Wednesday 3 September, Gay Ski Week NZ will take over the Hilton with a luxury pool party featuring DJ Dan Murphy and DJ Harry K, the event is being billed “one of the weeks hottest events with maximum style and minimal clothing.�
18 | August 2015 |
Gay Ski Week NZ will wrap up in the early hours of Saturday 5 September, with Whiteout – The Finale kicking off the night before with “a threesome not to be missed� DJ Kitty Glitter, DJ Dan Murphy & DJ Harry K will take Gay Ski Week NZ goers out with a bang with one final party to wrap up festivities. Gay Ski Week QT is back once again this year also with a wide array of events.
Among the highlights of the week: Tuesday 1 September will see The Rees presents 'True South Dining Experience'. The 3FFT JOUFSOBUJPOBMMZ SFOPXOFE &YFDVUJWF gayexpress.co.nz
GAY SKI WEEK
Chef Ben Batterbury will present a special five course meal with matching wines. The menu however is being kept top secret until the evening. The dinner is limited, so booking is essential and are available online at www. gayskiweekqt.com. Miss Ribena will once again be hosting Skycity Queenstown’s Quiz Night which promises to be a night of fun and frivolity on Thursday 3 September. As the week draws to a close the partying gets harder – heading into the weekend on Friday September 4 Family Bar & Nightclub presents ‘Life is a Beach’ at Brazz for the penultimate night of GSWQT. Family Bar will be adding their flavour to the event, XIJDI JODMVEFT ##2 TUZMF GPPE BOE NVTJD from Sydney DJ Adam Love.
On Saturday September 5 Broken Shed presents the ‘Once Upon A time Final Dance Party’ at Queenstown’s Memorial Centre, the final fun night of Gay Ski Week QT 2015. After a huge response, DJ Kate Monroe from Sydney will be back as well as DJ Adam Love, with the theme ‘Once upon a time, so will you
be Cinders or Prince Charming? Be sure to regularly check gayexpress. co.nz throughout the week as we bring you complete coverage from Queenstown. Article | Levi Joule.
the largest gay and lesbian Winter Pride in the Southern hemisphere!
29 9 AUGUST - 5 SE EPTE EMBE ER | QUEENSTOWN, NEW ZEALAND BOOK NOW @ gayskiweekqt.com
HOTTIE OF THE MONTH
Brogan Wilkinson This month’s female hottie is Brogan Wilkinson.Wilkinson is an international model who has recently signed with leading Auckland modelling and management agency, Bintang Models. Wilkinson will continue to work in fashion and TV commercials as well as taking on the role of Model Coach for the agency. Wilkinson has been modelling since the age of 17, when she first set off for Manila alone to pursue her dream. "I left New Zealand in December 2014, I was extremely nervous as it was my first time in an unknown country where English wasn't the first language," she says. What was most eye opening for Wilkinson while she was overseas were the concepts photographers were using. "It really challenged me as a model and it often wasn't your classic studio shoot. I mean, at one point I was shooting on the edge of a waterfall! The crews overseas believed anything was possible; their shoot concepts were amazing." Article | Levi Joule. Photo | Ahleks Fusilero.
20 | August 2015 |
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OUT & ABOUT
Out From The Cold at Family Family Bar & Club, 270 K Road, Auckland. Saturday 12 July. Photos | Evan Donnelly. When temperatures in Auckland reach freezing, there is only one place in town to go to get some hot and steamy fun. New Zealand’s premier gay nightclub was packed once again with a wide array of new faces, which led to a very steamy Family dance floor. The night also featured a special performance by Cola Gin dressed up as a Greek Goddess. gayexpress.co.nz
| August 2015 | 21
THEATRE
Paul Capsis and Yana Alana Paul Capsis With an extensive and remarkably diverse career across film, TV and stage, Paul Capsis is best known as a performer of theatre, concert and cabaret, with critics having decreed him Australia’s “King of Cabaret�. Paul has worked with many leading Australian theatre companies (STC, MTC, Malthouse Theatre and Company B Belvoir) as well as in Vienna, Hong Kong, London, Edinburgh and New :PSL 7JFOOB &EJOCVSHI BOE /FX :PSL Paul’s music background is varied having sung with the Australian Chamber Orchestra, the Soweto Gospel Choir of South Africa, Judi Connelli, Russell Crowe and Marcia Hines amongst many others. He is always in demand to take part in a wide range of music and arts festivals. Paul’s film credits include Ana Kokkinos’ 1998 film Head On which won him the 1998 Film
Yana Alana Teetering on the brink of cult status whilst on UIF WFSHF PG B OFSWPVT CSFBLEPXO :BOB "MBOB is the divine and deluded alter ego of Sarah Ward, one of Australia’s fastest rising cabaret TUBST :BOB "MBOB T MBUFTU TIPX #FUXFFO 5IF Cracks earned her the 2014 Helpmann Award for Best Cabaret Performer and two Green Room Awards for Best Production and Best Cabaret Artiste. Along with her talented all female band Tha 1BSBOBT :BOB "MBOB IBT UXP PUIFS DBCBSFU shows ‘Bite Me’ and ‘In Concert’ both with 8 Green Room Awards and a live art show ‘Tears Before Bedtime’. In this ‘One Woman Show’ (with two people JO JU UIF UZSBOOJDBM :BOB "MBOB BDDPNQBOJFE 22 | August 2015 |
Critics Circle Awards for Best Supporting Actor and a nomination for an AFI Award in the same category. Paul’s live album, Paul Capsis Live was recorded in the City Recital Hall in 2003 and features backing from the CafÊ of the Gates of Salvation – he has then gone on to record another 3 albums. -FHFOEBSZ ÍWF UJNF )FMQNBOO "XBSE XJOOFS and recent Broadway star Paul Capsis is one of Australia’s favourite performers and an international cabaret sensation. With an extensive and remarkably diverse career, Capsis is heralded for his chameleonic ways and blockbuster voice. Channelling the spirit of divas Judy Garland, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Nina Simone and more, he’ll take you on an eclectic and surprising journey through music of love, pain and celebration. AN EVENING WITH THE INCREDIBLE MR CAPSIS: Thursday 3 and Friday 4 September, 9.15pm, Saturday 5 September, 6.00pm.
by her long suffering accompanist Louise Goh, bares all (quite literally) through song, dance, poetry and tantrums.A mistress at emotional manipulation and the art of FOUSBQNFOU :BOB "MBOB JOWJUFT ZPV to view the world from the heart and mind of a solipsistic, fragile and courageous diva, who is not afraid to let it all hang out. Explore the private places and deepest holes of UIJT BXBSE XJOOJOH EJWB JO B OJHIU of cabaret at its very best – incisive, hilarious, confronting and, most of all, musically divine. YANA ALANA: BETWEEN THE CRACKS Friday 4 September 6.00pm, Saturday 5 September, 10pm. gayexpress.co.nz
OUT & ABOUT
Lick Goldfinch, 204 Quay St, Auckland. Saturday 25 July. Photos | Suki Zhang. Words | Jess Reddaway. Last month's edition of Lick saw us glitzing up for a prom-themedthrowback; and in the immortal words of the bard Missy Elliot herself "if you're fly girl, get your hair done, get a pedicure get your hair did," everyone sure was out to play. With permission forms signed and initialed, and preball chariots sussed through the LickUber collaboration, everyone was dressed to the nines with a special shout-out going to the beautiful Jessica Jones, our crowned prom queen and winner of a $50 bar tab. Remember to follow Lick Auckland on Facebook for future events and to get amongst it. gayexpress.co.nz
| August 2015 | 23
FEATURE
Re-Introducing Tom of Finland Iconic Finnish artist Tom of Finland is set for resurgence, with the gay illustrator’s work the inspiration for a new range of sex toys. Speaking to express, John Frew from Elp Group, which owns The Grinder and Peaches and Cream says he first came across the range when he was at a major trade show in the United States, with the iconic Grinder being among the first in New Zealand to sell the stock. John says there is a “pretty broad range of toys, from vibrators, cock rings, lube etc..� Each toy comes with a Tom of Finland image. John says all toys of a quality reflective of the Tom of 'JOMBOE CSBOE i:PV EPO U HFU QFSNJTTJPO to use the brand without ensuring high quality� with prices for the toys starting at just $40.
24 | August 2015 |
5IF OFX UPZ SBOHF JT TFU UP SF JOUSPEVDF UIF iconic Finnish artist, who died in 1991 to those who already know and love his work as well as introduce him for the first time to a new generation. His artwork is considered by many to be groundbreaking for gay male representation. Touko Laaksonen aka Tom of Finland was a pioneer in the gay and fetish art world. )F GJSTU CFDBNF B XFMM LOPXO OBNF BNPOH the gay male community in the early 1960’s shortly after he first submitted drawings to Physique Pictorial, an American magazine, VOEFS UIF QTFVEPOZN 5PN 8IFO IJT HBZ themed illustrations were published, the magazine credited Tom of Finland, a name he assumed for the remainder of his career. Tom introduced to mainstream culture a stylised masculinity in sharp contrast to the more common effeminate stereotypes of gay men in popular culture at the time.
gayexpress.co.nz
FEATURE
In the late 1950s, U.S. censorship codes restricted depiction of “overt homosexual acts� and limited the distribution of Tom’s work. In the 1962 case of MANual Enterprises v. Day, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that nude male QIPUPHSBQIT XFSF OPU PCTDFOF "T TPGU DPSF gay pornography flourished, Tom’s illustrations became more explicit, including exaggerated musculature and genitalia.
preservation of homoerotic artwork. Tom passed away in 1991 of Emphysema. The new sex toy range is not the first time Tom of Finland’s work has been adapted. In 1995, the Tom of Finland Clothing Company introduced a fashion line based on his art. www.thegrinder.co.nz
Tom of Finland’s work, which embraced sailors, bikers, lumberjacks and construction workers in leather and jeans, became popular and widely distributed in the gay community. By the early 1970’s Tom was publishing erotic comic books and exhibiting his work in the mainstream art world. In 1984, he cofounded the Tom of Finland Foundation, which is dedicated to the
gayexpress.co.nz
www.peachesandcream.co.nz Article | Levi Joule.
THEATRE
Lysistrata: Greek Sex Brings World Peace
Michael Hurst brings a two millennia old play to the modern day with sexy ancient comedy Lysistrata. Togas at the ready! Catching up for a chat between rehearsals it is evident just how besotted with Lysistrata, Michael Hurst still is. “I’ve been in love with the play for years,� he tells us. “I love that the Greeks were so like us and gave us so much, but in some ways so alien.�
400BC wasn’t the sex jokes; it was the notion that a woman could organise anything,� Hurst explains. “Women in Athens were invisible and very alien to the modern woman who can have vote, have a job, be married or not. To Aristophanes’ audience the only character with those options is a man...So there’s an interesting theme that we have to be aware of in order to make it modern.�
Lysistrata was written by Aristophanes one of the most famous Greek comedy writers, who has been described as an ideas man, a political activist and a razor sharp wit. He wrote Lysistrata twenty years into the Peloponnesian War, with our protagonist heroine leading the women of Athens to abstain from sex until peace had been declared. Naturally tempers and libidos boil.
Hurst is vehement that despite his modern take, the original script will be honoured. “Human nature doesn’t change,â€? he explains, “it’s still the same jokes and the same questions after 2000 years‌ It’s is still incredibly funny, relevant and links us to our real humanity!â€? Backing up Amanda Billing, is a cast that includes Hurst’s wife and Auckland theatre stalwart +FOOJGFS 8BSE -FBMBOE JO UIF XJUUZ SPMF PG ,BMPOJLF 8IJMF OP POF XPVME RVFTUJPO 8BSE Lealand’s extensive credentials, there is a rather obvious gag about a director who casts his wife in a play about a women denying sex to their husbands. “I didn’t even think about it on that level,â€? cackles Hurst, “I just thought she would be great for this part, which is an older, married, TMJHIUMZ BSDIFE OBVHIUZ DIBSBDUFS CVU * QSPNJTF it wasn’t an act of revenge or anything!â€?
“The most absurd thing in the play back in
Lysistrata takes an almost homoerotic swing as the
Written in 411BC, Hurst has set himself quite a challenge adapting Lysistrata for a modern audience. “The play was written by men for men, so in that sense it has an ancient feel to it. But the wonderful thing about the play is that Lysistrata (the title role which will be handled with feist and allure by Amanda Billing), actually espouses that women can do anything.�
26 | August 2015 |
two desperately horny factions; the men and the women, stand divided in a battle of wills. Hurst tells us that choreographer Shona McCullagh has the single sex groups ‘leaping and swaying,’ as they ‘go off their rockers,’ with want. “It will be sexy! It’s all about women saying, we are going to look our most alluring and then say no, and the men being crippled with desire and therefore signing the treaty. But of course the women get equally excited and they all go on this surreal journey.� Lysistrata’s moral ‘make love, not war’ remains as relevant in 2015 as it was in 411BC, made only more palatable by it’s gorgeous cast, and the same creative team that made ATC’s Chicago such a sexy success. Lysistrata runs from Thursday 30 July to Sunday 23 August at Auckland’s Q Theatre. For bookings and more info visit www.atc.co.nz or call 09 309 0390. Article | Oliver Hall.
gayexpress.co.nz
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EST
BEAUT Y IS IN THE DETAIL 9 HIGH ST, AUCKLAND CBD 3 S T H E L I E R S B AY R D , S T H E L I E R S W W W . M O R T I M E R H I R S T. C O . N Z
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PROFILE
Ribena Exposed
News Editor Levi Joule travelled out to West Auckland to try and uncover the real Miss Ribena. Most people would have no idea who Kevin Dunseath is. His drag persona, Miss Ribena however is legendary. Is there much of a difference between the two? What may be of surprise is that Kevin is a SFNBSLBCMZ TJNQMF NBO )F MJWFT JO B UXP TUPSZ unit in Kelston with flatmate Bim and apart from the rainbow flag that hangs in the kitchen; there is really nothing much gay about it. Kevin says he lives a pretty quiet life outside of performing and deliberately stays away from making comments on social media about Miss Ribena. Kevin has been doing drag full time at Family since 28 | August 2015 |
it opened in 2005 as well as what seems like every other gay event that has been held in New Zealand since then. Kevin spends the first 20 minutes of the interview rattling through these events, with the next 20 minutes spent going through his impressive BSSBZ PG BXBSET UIJT JT B NBO WFSZ QSPVE PG IJT work. Kevin Dunseath grew up in Hamilton; he is the adoptive son of a born again Christian family who thought he was possessed when he came out as gay. I was brought up in a Pentecostal Christian family. Pentecostal! It was extreme.�
and lights up a cigarette. It became clear talking about growing up was not the easiest topic for him to discuss. Kevin says he was first introduced to drag in 1997 after meeting two bears at Staircase, He says he was originally hesitant to get into drag. “I went back to their house in Ponsonby. I thought this was a bit dodgy, but there was an amazing costume on the floor of their villa. It was this huge acrylic floral thing, it was beautiful. It all started from there really�
“When I came out they told me that I needed to find my birthparents and that if I did, my homosexuality and cross dressing would stop�
Despite the hesitancy to officially start performing in 1998, drag had always been something Kevin had thought about. “I started dressing up in dresses when I was five.�
He did find them, but of course it didn’t change anything, they accepted him completely. Kevin finishes talking about his background
It wasn’t long after Kevin first put on that acrylic floral dress that he began working for businessman Wayne Clark at a number of gay bars in High gayexpress.co.nz
PROFILE
Street, then moving up to K Road and Family Bar, where Ribena has become an institution and a key part of the bar’s success ever since. What is Ribena’s relationship like with the other drag queens? “There’s a lot of jealousy” Kevin says. It doesn’t faze him much though, “for every person on the gay scene who hates me, another 100 love me.” Ribena is an institution not only in New Zealand, but in parts of Australia as well, something Kevin’s flatmate Bim highlights when he talks about their trips to Sydney, saying it can take the pair up to one hour to walk 100 metres down Oxford street, “everybody just wants to stop and have their photo taken with her.”
“The traffic on Oxford street will come to a standstill”
difference between Kevin and Ribena, he laughed and replies “no comment.”
“It’s because there are no other drag queens that do the things I do” Kevin adds.
The house and everyday living might not be as glamorous as one might imagine it to be for New Zealand’s biggest drag queen, but the important personal traits, from the iconic voice, to the remarkable ability to make almost anybody laugh –they’re all central attributes of Kevin Dunseath.
Kevin says being Ms Ribena is a job, but while interviewing him, it becomes quite apparent it is more than that. The lines are a lot more blurred than he might admit publicly. While some drag queens may have very clear boundaries between private and public life, it seems that Kevin revels in his Ms Ribena persona, living it out in every day life as well. After the interview I asked a close friend of Kevin whether he thought there was any real
Read the full article at gayexpress.co.nz. Article | Levi Joule. Photos | Dan Liu.
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Meet Our Community
Kiss & Tell t No need it seems to start saving for
Benjamin Henson trained in Theatre Direction at the Mountview Academy of Theatre Arts, London, whilst directing productions for the London fringe and cabaret circuit. Having directed productions in Germany and France, as well as nine consecutive years at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Ben moved to Auckland.
those expensive sports shoes‌the second biggest scheduled event of the gay summer calendar looks pretty shaky. What happened? t Is it a matter of the pot calling the kettle black? Casting dispersions on a previous organiser when one of the new has a record like that? t How many of the new board members of a popular youth group were involved in the disruption at the last Pride Parade? t Time waits for no man‌especially if you cannot get the dosh together in time. t The winners of the safe sex award run by Express in 2010/2011 will
Now regularly directing for Unitec, The Actor's Program and ATC, he also serves as artistic director of Fractious Tash, who have gained considerable notoriety for their QPQ DVMUVSF UXJTUT PO DMBTTJD UFYUT NPTU OPUBCMZ h&BSOFTUh XIJDI TPME PVU JUT UXP XFFL SVO at Q Theatre. Fractious Tash return this month with Not Psycho, a tale of theft, video stores, shower curtains and murder. What words or phrases do you most overuse? Beeeeeeeeeaaaaaauuuuuutttttttiiiiiiiiffffffffful. When and where were you happiest? Every rehearsal room I ever work in. What talent would you most like to have? (ZNOBTUJDT ĂŹJQQJOH BSPVOE MJLF #VĂŞZ UIF 7BNQJSF Slayer just for shits.
be chuffed with the latest NZAF campaign! Judges, including
What is your current state of mind? Fractious.
Warren Lindberg, commented that the "It's a wrap" campaign was likeable, particularly the affirmative message that sexuality is a gift!
30 | August 2015 |
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd love to have some kind of exotic heritage. Who's proud of the UK anymore? No one.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Making it this far without dying. What is your most treasured possession? The faith of my actors. What is the quality you most like in a man? Dependence. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Independence. Not Psycho plays at Q Theatre’s Loft (305 Queen Street, Auckland) from Saturday 15 to Saturday 29 August. For more info and tickets call 09 309 9771 or visit www.qtheatre.co.nz. Article | Oliver Hall.
gayexpress.co.nz
FOOD
Foodie Bites
Get Your Geek On We popped in to Sandringham newcomer, Geeks on Sainsbury, recently and are so glad we did. Cute decor, great food and wonderful coffee from Wellington boutique roasters Red Rabbit. I can personally vouch for the Salmon Gravlax style eggs benedict that was served on layered agria potatoes instead of the more traditional bread or muffin option; and the speed with which my lunch date destroyed his Best Ugly bagel and cake from the cabinet would imply that wasn't too shabby either. Geeks on Sainsbury, 1/55 Sainsbury Road, Mt Albert www.facebook.com/ geeksonsainsbury
Get your stretchy pants on - it's Restaurant Month! There's nothing like a month focussed on eating in Auckland to make these colder temperatures more bearable. It's lucky then that August is Restaurant Month. There are over 100 dining offers and 30 events ranging from the exclusive Chef Dining series to High Tea to Brazilian and Indian special nights to Street Eats. Check out the full programme at www. IFBSUPGUIFDJUZ DP O[ SFTUBVSBOU NPOUI BOE CVZ TPNF TUSFUDIZ QBOUT :PVhSF going to need them. Auckland Restaurant month Saturday 1 to Monday 31 August, Various Auckland venues.
Smokin' Southern goodness We just love all the new food trucks that are popping up all over town, especially the gorgeous Dixie Barbecue which we visited at its regular Thursday spot outside Blanc on Lincoln Road in West Auckland SFDFOUMZ :PVhMM BMTP ÍOE these clever boys at other events around town – just check their facebook page for their weekly whereabouts. Make sure you try the hushpuppies, pork ribs and beef short rib. This is the real American Barbecue deal. www.dixiebarbecue.co.nz
Boys in the Kitchen Anyone who watched Masterchef last Sunday on TV3 would have seen the fabulous Mark Wallbank (of Blue Breeze Inn, Woodpecker Hill, Chop Chop Noodle and MooChowChow fame) gracing our screens. We're so excited that this year there will be not only one, but two, gay judges on mainstream food TV. Watch out for the very talented Robert Oliver on My Kitchen Rules later this year on TV2 too. www.tv3.co.nz/ Shows/MasterChefNZ.aspx
gayexpress.co.nz
Winter Roastiness Sunday 2 August is Selak's Roast day and they are encouraging us to get into the kitchen and whip up a roast with all the trimmings to share with friends. We like the idea but prefer the thought of someone else doing it for us. There are a few places around town who do a Sunday roast but some of our favourites are Ostro, Galbraith's and Jervois Steak House. If, however, you are in the mood to don your pinny, check out the Selaks website for some ideas from the clever Simon Gault. Selaks Roast Day, Sunday 2 August, www. selaksnzroastday.co.nz Article | Alexia Santamaria. Alexia is the co-author of popular blog www. cheapeats.co.nz, the Auckland guide to eating great food without going bankrupt.
HEALTH
Make a positive change in your life though I never move. He was in the same boat (or truck), driving his delivery truck every day and then sitting at home watching TV of an evening. The following day he passed away from a heart attack. I decided then and there that I didn’t want to be another statistic, another obese person who had a heart attack or health complications.
nausea, fear, doubt and then ultimately success. Two weeks after beginning to quit sugar I was over the worst of it, and I was ready for the beginning of physical activity.
So my journey began with a goal in mind, to shed the kilos, get back into my size 32 (80 cm) jeans from some 5+ years ago, yes I am a hoarder of clothes in the belief that one day I will fit back into them… plus if I consider my other halves clothes as my own my wardrobe will double! What an incentive! What to do, what to do?
There comes a time in every guy’s life that we take stock and think; what the heck am I doing? Be it with our job, our partner, our bedroom proclivities or even our weight. But what do we do when that happens? Follow me on my journey in wanting to be a slimmer man and the steps I took to make it happen. In the beginning … In January of 2015 I weighed in at 120KG’s and was not a happy guy. Weight issues had ruled my life and any diets lasted no more than a few months and always lead to more weight going on if I stopped, sound familiar to you? Turning 34, err I mean 29, was a life changing experience for me. I was chatting with a friend of mine in Phoenix, Arizona about the fact I feel as 32 | August 2015 |
In my opinion losing weight is a little bit like racing a car, do you take your 1996 Honda Civic straight out and race in Bathurst? Of course not, you would tune that bad boy, make sure that the oil was high grade, the fuel was high octane, the body was reinforced and the tyres are new. So why when people go to lose weight do they go hammer the gym like it’s going out of fashion? First and foremost the body needs to be prepared for activity. I started with a simple detox, and began to remove the foods from my diet that wouldn’t be helping me. This included quitting refined sugar, alcohol (oh god! I hear you say) and turning to wholefoods that would give me high octane for the activity I wanted to do.
So want to see how it went? Join me in September for the reveal and see what 6 months and a new outlook could do for you. In the mean time why not challenge yourself to change one thing in your life for the positive – reduce your sugar intake, your alcohol intake, or even a small change to incorporate more wholefoods. Article | Stu Cook.
Quitting sugar was like quitting any highly addictive substance, there were chills, headaches,
Stu Cook With a passion for Natural Health, Stu joined the industry 10 years ago in the UK. As the Health 2000 Marketing Manager he is constantly looking for ways to engage consumers to think about ways to live naturally healthy. Photo | Denise Short.
gayexpress.co.nz
THEATRE
Tosca Set to Unleash the Passion NZ Opera brings to New Zealand the opera that has so far conquered the rest of the world.
composed” Joining them will be Phillip Rhodes who stars as the fanatically evil Scarpia.
Billed as a “passionate story of lust, revenge and sacrifice” Tosca is sure to captivate New Zealand audiences.
The opera will be accompanied by the Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra, the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra and the Freemasons NZ OPERA Chorus.
Named after the show’s main protagonist, Tosca tells the tale of a women who is “jealous and fiercely loyal, loves passionately yet holds firm to her faith and is overwhelmingly generous while also ruthlessly violent.
This is one opera that is not to be missed. Article | Levi Joule.
Tosca is the fire that burns throughout this monumental drama. She is the ultimate Diva.
Orla Boylan
Orla Boylan will perform in the title role and will be supported by Simon O’Neill who “unleashes the Italian hero within as his soaring voice takes flight in one of the best tenor roles ever
Simon O'Neil
Phillip Rhodes
HOTTIE OF THE MONTH
Adrian Pearce Adrian grew up Te Aroha before leaving for Japan at 17 in order to study for a year. The year away would begin Adrian’s love of all things Japanese, after returning , he majored in Japanese, before moving back to Japan. Adrian first started thinking about modelling after having it suggested to him, with the big push coming after a night out. Adrian says “a friend arrived late and asked the waitress where our table was, to which she responded "The table with the model sitting at it.� He was first scouted by Bintang Models director Patric Seng in 2013. "ESJBO JT B CJH BEWPDBUF GPS TFMG BDDFQUBODF BOE TBZT IJT pathway into modelling was not one he envisioned earlier PO JO MJGF i* XBT BDUVBMMZ B GBU LJE JO IJHI TDIPPM /P POF ever believes me, but I was. As such I wasn't the most confident kid growing up.� he says. “Surprisingly, a lot of models come from similar backgrounds of low confidence, so I really want to see more of us using our positions as models to actually be role models, rather than simply being TFFO BT TFMG BCTPSCFE BOE WBJO w When he’s not modelling, Adrian is a keen traveller and says “So far I've been around NZ, to Australia, South Korea, Laos, Myanmar, Singapore, Hong Kong, and I've lived in Japan for two years. I'm also really into languages, so I'm fluent in Japanese, and actively studying Mandarin. I can phonetically read Korean and have also studied French and Spanish in the past.� Adrian says he’s unsure what the future holds but is happy with it being that way. “I have no idea where I'll be in 5 years. I feel it means I'm adaptable and ready for anything, and I haven't set myself up for just one destiny. All I know is that I want to have a positive impact on the world and those around me, no matter what I do.� If you want to see more photos of Adrian, check him out on instagram @adrian_pearce Article | Levi Joule. Photo | Wono Kim. 34 | August 2015 |
gayexpress.co.nz
OUT & ABOUT
NZAF Marks 30 Years Auckland Museum, The Domain. Wednesday 3 July. Photos | Evan Donnelly. Held at the Auckland Museum, over 200 people gathered to mark the 30 year anniversary of the NZAF. Hosted by Tamati Coffey, the evening was a celebration of three decades of the hard work and dedication of the organisation to fighting HIV/AIDS in New Zealand, with a variety of cultural performances and speeches. gayexpress.co.nz
| August 2015 | 35
DIRECTORY
DVX Adult Entertainment Store
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3081 Great North Road, New Lynn Ph 09 827 1400
After a 2 year rebuild the Wingate Club updated its bath house facilities with not just 6 cubicles but now 12! Plus a new sauna, spa pool, showers and movie room this is now THE PLACE TO BE! And with the outdoor pool and native bush setting complete with walks you will want to stay all day! Entry $16 non members – even less for members! Open 12 noon every day including public holidays!
76 WINGATE ST, AVONDALE WWW.WINGATECLUB.CO.NZ O NZ PH 09 828 0910
36 | August 2015 |
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Dr Ravi Sandhu
Dr Dave McKenzie
GENERAL PRACTITIONER
GENERAL PRACTITIONER
GENERAL PRACTITIONER
CityMed is a modern primary healthcare facility, which offers you a full range of integrated medical services in the heart of the Auckland City.
CENTRAL CITY DOCTORS Ground Floor, Quay West Building, 8 Albert St, Auckland Ph 09 377 5525 for an appointment www.citymed.co.nz
New Zealand’s most trusted immigration experts.
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| August 2015 | 37
DIRECTORY
Dr Roy Knill
OUT & ABOUT
Eagle Bar Eagle Bar, K’Rd, Auckland. Saturday 11 July. Photos | Evan Donnelly.
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Ask Agony Aunt Lisa Rainbow Counsellor Lisa Michelle is here to help with your problems. My boyfriend and I are looking to move in together. Our problem is we want to find a flat in different suburbs. How can we establish a future together if we can't even agree on where to live? ɨBUhT B HSFBU RVFTUJPO *G ZPVhSF BGUFS B MPOH UFSN relationship you'll need to learn to compromise on UIF TIPSU UFSN UIJOHT :PV XJMM IBWF EJêFSFOU SFBTPOT GPS XBOUJOH B QBSUJDVMBS TVCVSC QFSIBQT JUhT DMPTFS UP XPSL GPS POF PG ZPV TP JU TPVOET MJLF B DPOWFSTBUJPO is needed where you decide what's best for you both in the long run. Instead of considering your current individual needs, discuss your needs as a couple looking forward. Write a list of your relationship goals, hold each others' best interest in mind, and be prepared to compromise. It's great practice for marriage!
A few weeks ago I discovered my partner has been lying to me about where she goes on Wednesday nights. She told me yoga, but I've since learned she doesn't attend that class anymore. I haven't said anything to her because I'm not sure I'm ready to hear about an affair. What shall I do? It seems natural to think the worst at times like this. Harder still would be saying goodbye to your partner each Wednesday night knowing she is lying about her EFTUJOBUJPO :PV EFÍOJUFMZ OFFE UP DPOGSPOU IFS BCPVU ZPVS OFX JOGPSNBUJPO HFOUMZ ɨF JOGPSNBUJPO NBZ OPU be correct. It may be she attends yoga at a new location and hasn't thought to mention it. Give her the benefit of UIF EPVCU BOE SFRVFTU B NFFUJOH :PV NBZ OPU MJLF IFS response, but if she is having an affair then it's better to find out sooner rather than later. Deep breaths...
Next Month’s Special Feature: Celebrating our Multi Cultural Community!
If you have an issue you would like Lisa to talk about in express, email and let her know at ask@gayexpress.co.nz Lisa Michelle is a Chaplain and Counsellor for the GLBT Community, working with both Rainbow Youth and OUTLine NZ as an independent consultant and also on the board of OUTLine.
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| August 2015 | 39