APRIL 28, 2010 ISSUE 589
ATLANTA WELCOMES
TONY MORAN 1 davidatlanta
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davidatlanta
DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon.-Fri. 9:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher/editor Matt Neumann matt@davidatlanta.com
creative director Knyckolas Davis kdavis@davidatlanta.com
photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Jon Sinquefield 56 april 14, 2010
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PIE DMONT B ARK YA PPY HOU R P R ESENTS
seen@ 12 38 44 50 52 guides 20 datebook
COTILLION
36 IT’S RE IGNING CATS & DOGS — MAY 2, 2010
E NTE R YOU R ’S TODAY!
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★ 3–6 PM ★ $20 DONATION TO B ENEF IT P ALS
Crowning of the 2010 PALS SpokesPet ★ Open Bar ★ Hors d’oeuvres Silent Auction ★ DJ Greg Moseley ★ Info or tickets: www.palsatlanta.org 501 AMSTE RD AM AVE
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ATLANTA, GA 30306
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P 404-873-5400
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F 404-873-0240
DENN IS DEAN CATE RI NG
account executives Karisha Anderson Randy Ladd Jesse Hancock graphic design Matt Neumann operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com
marking & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com
office manger & sales coordinator Travis Gerstman travisg@davidatlanta.com
distribution Eddie Criswell contributors Brent Star Lucy Dr. Roth Luis Chiruco Alex Renteria Nico Ramos Michael Jefferys
I Ntown Atlanta
Due to State Regulations, no pet will be allowed in the facility without proof of current vaccinations.
Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.
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essentially major by Michael Jeffrey
REDISCOVERING CHASTITY ISN’T ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE Once upon a time there was an innocent and very sexually frustrated girl named Leslie. We met one summer while shopping at Phipps Plaza and instantly bonded over our love of overpriced clothing and mutual hatred of the dismal dating scene Atlanta has to offer. As a female, Leslie’s perspective was slightly opposite mine. She constantly complained about how difficult it is to have an explosive sex life while dating and still expect to find a suitable husband at the end of the day. Gay Atlanta for me has been the exact opposite. All the happy care free sex you can handle, but once you peel back that first superficial layer of animal attraction you may very well be left with a grown man who’s maturity stopped evolving somewhere around the eighth grade. Leslie and I went back and forth over countless cocktails that summer, strategizing every method of approach imaginable that might steer or romantic lives in the right direction. “The fucked up part about it for me,” she explained, “is that I just can’t carelessly hand out free pussy and still expect to have a happy white wedding anytime soon. I don’t know shit about men, but nobody wants to bring a slut home to mommy.” A bold generalization perhaps, but the girl’s got a point. What if the roles were reversed and gay men actually had the social-sexual restrictions placed on them that straight women do? How long would our attention span last if sexual pleasure wasn’t always readily on the menu? As it just so happened I had a first date scheduled the week following my bitch session with Leslie. Initially we’d planned a night at home watching movies (which is basically code for fifteen minutes of TV followed by sixty minutes of amateur nude wrestling on the couch). But at the last minute I switched it up and decided we should go out for drinks instead. Things were going great until after a couple cocktails my date’s conversation began to get a bit more candid. This eventually to a confession that his last relationship landed 14 davidatlanta
him a domestic violence arrest and that it was probably a good idea if we leave soon since the restaurant I’d chosen was less than five hundred yards from his ex’s apartment. Its little details like this that go unmentioned once the clothes start flying off. Sadly, Leslie could relate when I told her about my unsuccessful experience playing the waiting game. “That’s the problem!” she said. “Sometimes I don’t want to know how fucked up a guy is before sex. It ruins the fantasy. Every now and then it’d be nice to just have him shut up and screw me senseless instead of this cat and mouse game they always want me to play.” “Well,” I suggested, “give it a try! I’m sure there have to be plenty of happily married straight female sluts out there who’ve found Prince Charming exactly the same way. Right?” Oddly enough, that was the last I heard of Leslie for quite some time. For awhile I wondered if my advice had gotten her chopped up and scattered over Lake Lanier by some psychopath. Or maybe she’d been sold into an underground ring of sexual slavery and it was all my fault for encouraging her to rush out and start being a hoe. Then a year later we bumped into each other once again at Phipps Plaza. Instantly I noticed a change in the girl I’d met so long ago. There was a new confidence in her that didn’t exist before. When I asked what she’d been up to all this time a big smile lit up her face as she pulled my ear to her lips a whispered the unthinkable. “I’ve been escorting.” “Like call girl escorting?” I asked, as she eagerly nodded yes. “Once I took control of my sex life I found out I was really good. Good enough to make a living out of it. So I did and I’ve never been happier!” Leslie’s revelation left me thinking. Maybe waiting isn’t the way to go for everyone. Furthermore, giving away something for free you can just as easily be paid for, doesn’t seem so appealing anymore either.
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datebook
by Alex Renteria
Wednesday, April 28 What’s Your Fantasy?
Come indulge yourself in a night of fantasy with the best show in town. The best names in female impersonation will not disappoint, as you will see Sonique, Angelica D’Paige, Savannah Leigh and more. Nicole Paige Brooks of RuPaul’s Drag Race hosts the night. This week’s special guest is Atlanta luminary, Ashley Kruiz. 9:00 pm at Jungle 2115 Faulkner Road 404.844.8800 www.jungleclubatlanta.com
Thursday, April 29 Art In The City
The High offers extended hours at half-price on Thursday’s. Enjoy the exhibitions without the crowds. There is also a guided tour of Permanent Collections. Admission is always free for members. 5 pm. The High Museum of Art 1280 Peachtree St. www.high.org
Sip. Taste. Bid.
Enjoy an evening of wine, food, and a silent auction with Atlanta’s best. All proceeds and donations will benefit ARCA (AIDS Research Consortium of Atlanta), who has dedicated
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over 25 years to find a cure for HIV. Come out and ‘Uncork A Cure’. 6 pm. The Foundry at Puritan Mill 916 Joseph E Lowery Blvd. $75-$100 uncorkacure.org
Friday, April 30 Politically Correct
The Stonewall Democrats invite you to the first 2010 mixer to meet all qualifying Democrats who are running for an elected office. Reps. Margaret Kaiser and Hugh Floyd will sponsor the night. The Young Democrats of Atlanta will also be on hand. 5:30 pm. Manuel’s Tavern 602 N. Highland Ave. $100-$500 www.atlantastonewall.org
Mozart’s The Magic Flute
Hugh Russell and Nicole Cabell star in this presentation by the Atlanta Opera. Enjoy a night filled with love and self-discovery as Prince Tamino and Princess Pamina journey through many turbulent experiences to find each other. They will also run into an evil Queen. Don’t we all? 8:00 pm. Cobb Energy Centre 2800 Cobb Galleria Pkwy. For tickets: 404.881.8885 www.atlantaopera.org Do you want to be a star? Here’s your chance. A new gay reality series in now filming at Le Buzz in Marietta. All are invited to be a part of the filming which will include segments for ‘Bar Drama’, ‘Entertainment’, and ‘Behind the Scenes’. Filming continues every weekend through May. 8:00 pm. Le Buzz 585 Franklin Rd. Marietta thenewlebuzz.com
Saturday, May 1 Git yo’ dress on!
The Atlanta Bucks Rugby team wants you all
by Alex Renteria
datebook to join in the frolicking while wearing purple in the annual Purple Dress Run. The event will benefit the Atlanta Bucks AND Youth Pride. Registration begins at 1 pm; the run begins at 2 pm. The route travels from Mixx to Blake’s to Frogs and ends at the Eagle. 1:00 pm Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave. $30$40. www.purpledressrun. org
Every Day is a celebration!
The 2010 Human Rights Campaign Gala Dinner and Auction, which is Atlanta’s largest GLBT event, will be held tonight. The HRC fights nationally for securing our equality. ‘Every Day’ is the theme for this year’s event, which symbolizes our daily fight. This years Visibility Award Winner is Bravo TV’s Andy Cohen. For more info and tickets: www.atlantahrcdinner.org 6:00 pm. Hyatt Regency 265 Peachtree St. CONTINUED ON PAGE 26
Men’s Cut $20 • Women’s Cut $30 Sunday Cuts $15 1579 Monroe Drive Atlanta, GA 30324 Bubblesatlanta.com 404.876.7745
WALK-INS WELCOME 21 davidatlanta
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la nota rosa
by Luis Chiruco
Hombre soltero busca. Primera parte Como estos ultimos dias no he tenido mucho que hacer me he dedicado a navegar por diferentes paginas de contactos y me he detenido a ver algunos de los perfiles tratando de adivinar algo de la personalidad de quien lo escribio. Algunos merecen un an·lisis detallado. Veamos.
Foto: De medio cuerpo, en boxers, dejando ver que tiene una erecciÛn, no se ve la cara. Perfiles como este me parecen increibles por lo contradictorios. Dicen buscar amigos y al mismo tiempo lanzan el desafio a intentar una relaciÛn a largo plazo. Pero lo mas contradictorio, ya sea que realmente busquen amigos o una pareja estable, es la foto. Para que demonios ponen una de sus atributos fÌsicos?
SIMON, 30 años, versatil. No proporciona informacion fÌsica y solo de limita a poner en el perfil: Sorprendeme!!
Como si alguien fuera a seleccionar sus amistades basandose en el tamaÒo del pene del otro Û quiera formar pareja con alquien que en vez de demostrar su valor como persona se limita a mostrarse p˙blicamente semi-desnudo sin ning˙ pudor.
Foto: Un chico com˙n, sonriendo ante la c·mara.
Lo mas triste en el caso de RUBEN es que tiene 40 años.
Hay alguna variaciÛn de esta versiÛn, como aquellos que aseguran no esperar nada y que solamente quieren dejar que la vida los sorpredenda.
Parece que a˙n no sabe diferenciar una cosa de otra. Por la foto uno puede suponer que el tipo busca solamente sexo, lo cual no tiene nada de malo, pero con la descripciÛn quiere llamar la atenciÛn hacia su lado sentimental, diciendo buscar amigos o pareja.
Ejemplo # 1
Ejempo # 2 RUBEN, 40 aÒos, musculoso, cabello canoso, ojos verdes, circuncidado. TÌtulo del perfil: “Buscando amigos”. DescripcÌon: “Busco una persona que quiera encontrar el desafÌo de vivir el resto de la vida conmigo”. 24 davidatlanta
A cual hacerle caso? Lo mas seguro que la verdadera intenciÛn sea solo el sexo...got leche? La Nota Rosa is not produced or edited by David Magazine.
Este tipo de perfiles me dan la impresiÛn de un tipo comodino, tan creido de si que creÈ que no tiene que hacer nada por conocer a alguien, asÌ que lo deja todo en manos de los dem·s. Aquellos que muerdan el anzuelo tratar·n en vano de “sorprender” al sujeto en cuestiÛn, o por lo menos resultar agradable ante sus ojos, y Èl simplemente se dedicar· a descartarlos sin ning˙n miramiento.
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datebook
by Alex Renteria
Are you a Barfly…or a Disaster?
If you have what it takes to get on stage with the Amorettes and compete to become Miss Barfly or Miss Natural Disaster, then you’ll want to be on this stage tonight! Download your application for the event entry at: www. amorettes.com If you just want to enjoy the show it begins at 7:00 pm. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd.
Sunday, May 2
Calling all GLBTQ Geeks
OutlantaCon, the community’s only sci-fi and gaming convention, is in town and today is the last day be a part of it. Guests are plentiful and include filmmaker J.A. Steel, game developer Andrew Greenburg, and author Kayelle Allen. 12 pm-5 pm. Holiday Inn Select Perimeter 4386 Chamblee Dunwoody Rd. www.outlantacon.org
No more wire hangers!
The Process Theatre Co. presents Topher Payne’s production, ‘Christina, Darling’, which tells the story of Christina Crawford starting on the eve of the release of the film version of her book. 8:00 pm OnStage Atlanta 2597 N. Decatur Rd., Decatur 8:00 $20 404.245.4205 or www.onstageatlanta.tix.com
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Monday, May 3
Show off your Bear Chest
Monday nights are dedicated to chests off all kinds at the Eagle. What a great way to start the week. So, come out, take your shirt off and have a beer with the guys! 10:00 pm. Atlanta Eagle 309 Ponce de Leon www. atlantaeagle.com
Tuesday, May 4 Showtune Queens
If you enjoy watching Glee and don’t want to do it alone at home, then come out and watch it with us. Then stick around for show tune videos by VJ Vaughn. There are so many screens to watch—you’ll be on sensory overload. 9:00 pm. Amsterdam Bar 502 Amsterdam Ave.
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PIeDmont BaRK YaPPY HouR PResents
COTILLION
It’s ReIgnIng Cats & Dogs — enteR YouR’s toDaY! maY 2, 2010 H 3–6 Pm H $20 DonatIon to BenefIt PaLs Crowning of the 2010 PALS SpokesPet H Open Bar H Hors d’oeuvres Silent Auction H DJ Greg Moseley H Info or tickets: www.palsatlanta.org 501 amsteRDam ave H atLanta, ga 30306 H P 404-873-5400 H f 404-873-0240 DennIs Dean CateRIng
INtown Atlanta
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Due to State Regulations, no pet will be allowed in the facility without proof of current vaccinations.
community
Beauty Pageant for Pets P.A.L.S. Pet Cotillion returns May 2 By Jesse A. Hancock
Dogs and cats walking the runway? Wearing crowns and tiaras? Why not? Find out which pet will be the king or queen of this year’s Pet Cotillion and the 2010 P.A.L.S. (Pets Are Loving Support) SpokesPet on Sunday May 2 from 3 to 6 p.m. The event will take place at Piedmont Bark, 501 Amsterdam Ave. “We have been crowning a SpokesDog for about five or six years,” said P.A.L.S. Executive Director Kevin Bryant. “It’s almost like a beauty pageant for pets. People love getting their pets out there on the runway.” Tickets may be purchased online at www. palsatlanta.org or for $20 at the door, and all of the proceeds go to P.A.L.S. The event is in conjunction with Piedmont Bark’s Yappy Hour, a time for pet owners to mix and mingle while their dogs socialize in a supervised play area. Lick A Lots is providing treats for all the dogs. For pet owners and guests there will be hors d’oeuvres, an open bar, music by DJ Greg Moseley, and a silent auction. For months pet owners have been going online to the P.A.L.S. website to nominate their pets and post photos. Site visitors have been voting for their favorite pets at $1.00 per vote. Top contenders in the running for the title include Reggie, Pudge, and Braxton. The king or queen will win a one-year exclusive pet-modeling contract with P.A.L.S., which includes all of their events and fashion shows around town. The SpokesPet will also get a guest runway appearance on Georgia Public Broadcasting Television, ten days of Doggie Daycare at Piedmont BARK, a personalized in-home comprehensive physical exam through Neely Mobile Veterinary Services and a customized basket of pet products from Piedmont Bark. 36 davidatlanta
For the first time this year there will also be a runner-up, who will win a Piedmont Bark spa day that includes a customized exercise program, wash and a 30-minute canine massage. The runner up also wins a customized pet basket from Piedmont Bark. “Even if the pet doesn’t win, we are still going to parade them on the runway,” said Bryant. “They also get little goodie bags, and it’s a great way for people to get together with their pets.” This event is sponsored by Piedmont Bark, P.A.L.S., Lick A Lots, Dennis Dean Catering, Atlanta Intown, Pocket Rocket, The Sunday Paper and TLC Rents. P.A.L.S., locally famous for its monthly themed Bingo fundraisers with co-hostesses Bubba D. Licious and Alexandria Martin, helps people in the community with critical illnesses or disabilities and the elderly keep their pets. When financial hardships brought on by illness occur, P.A.L.S. is there to help, but P.A.L.S. does not cover the entire expense of owning and caring for a pet. Since 1992 P.A.L.S. has provided its clients with pet food and some veterinary costs including vaccinations, immunizations, heartworm preventative, and flea control. P.A.L.S. is currently caring for over 500 pets. For more information on the requirements and regulations for help from P.A.L.S. go to www. palsatlanta.org. Pet lovers, take your pets and your friends down to Piedmont Bark for the Pet Cotillion May 2 and support a worthy cause. However, due to state regulations pets will not be allowed in to this event or any future Piedmont Bark Yappy Hour without owners providing proof of current vaccinations.
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spotlight
ASHLEY
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If you haven’t been to Mixx in Ansley Square lately, you need to go in and meet Ashley. Originally from the South, she had lived in San Francisco for about 10 years before moving to Atlanta two years ago. Having started out west, she has been pouring spirits for nine years. You have two opportunities to see her in Atlanta as she can also be found at another popular watering hole—Le Buzz. She says the two bars are as different as night and day, but she enjoys both of them because they offer a balance in her life. “At Mixx, I spend more time with my customers and talk…we laugh while watching Glee on Tuesdays; the staff is AMAZING…we always have a great time and the bar itself is gorgeous!” She goes on to say that its funny to see the looks on peoples faces when they see her behind the bar at Mixx, but by the end of the night, they’re buying her shots. “Le Buzz has a unique flavor and energy that sets it apart from other bars. I think people are apprehensive to check us out because we’re OTP. It provides a safe place for 18+ year olds
to be out and makes a statement by being the only show bar outside of Atlanta. Nicole Paige Brooks, Sonique, and Bianca Nicole on Saturday night…where else can you find so much sex in high heels?” When not working, Ashley is an intern at Amnesty International and volunteers at the Atlanta Children’s Shelter. She admits to listening to Tupac Shakur all day and loving the outdoors with Romeo, her blue Pit Bull. “But that will change with the return of the Atlanta Heat…then I can retreat inside dark bars. A perfect day would be on the couch, in the dark with a bottle of wine, watching film noir with Romeo.” You can see Ashley at Mixx on Tuesday nights; Le Buzz on Thursday nights; and Saturdays from 1p-9p at Mixx and from 10p3a at Le Buzz—yes, she does double duty on Saturdays! “The drink I make is called ‘The Fantastic’…if you’re thirsty come find me…I won’t disappoint.”
Jennifer Arellano Jennifer Arellano is from Cancun, Mexico and has been living in Atlanta for three years. She has been performing for over 18 years and is inspired by Lady Gaga. But her performances are not only limited to Gaga, as she also performs Cher and Alejandra Guzman. “I am always encouraged and my dreams allow me to achieve everything.” When not performing, Jennifer likes to walk outdoors and loves dogs—although she does not have one. She also loves to read and watch horror films. “I also love Tequila!” “People should come see me because I am a very original, Latin drag queen.” You can see Jennifer Arellano perform every Saturday night at Sunrise Bistro on Buford Highway. 42 davidatlanta
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the Brent Star report
THE FOX HOLE I remember when this blonde and brassy entertainer used to tell the crowd that I am the Barack to her Hillary when introducing me to the stage back in the day when we were co hosting shows like the popular Atlanta Got Talent. She would also tell the crowd that I am a phenomenal entertainer…but in my own mind. She told me that I’m always somewhere doing some show and wouldn’t be surprised to see me working at the opening of an envelope. I’m talking about the funny glamazon, CHYNNA FOX. No she ain’t dead, but girlfriend is leaving this country (going to Canada) for new adventures and basically new people for her to terrorize. I first met her years ago at the Armory where I was apart of the weekly talent show. I say ‘apart of’ because I was there every week and not ashamed to say I LOST each time (this was in 2005). Lol. But I knew exactly what I was doing. At that time, Blakes was the only other place where I performed and I knew I needed to broaden my horizons (among other things I needed to ‘broaden’) and she was right there encouraging me to “Come back next week”. Oh don’t get it twisted, the crowd there went UP for me but ah…when it came down to get the most applause, they were loyal to the other talent that invited them to come out. Who cares, because Chynna made sure I got a couple of paid bookings there like the one for their Rocky Horror Show. Fast forward to two years later, she had this wonderful idea for her and I to host a weekly talent show (Atlanta Got Talent) that we did in Little Five Points (Tijuana Garage). The show was a hit and ended up boosting a few careers. Most recently I’ve been working with her at the Tijuana Garage in Lil 5 every Saturday called “Chynna Fox and The Glamazons”. But as of this past Saturday, child, I guess the new show will be called “The Glamazons and the Fox Hole” cause there will be no more Chynna. No worries though, because like I said she’s moving on to greener pastures, but if I know Chynna, I think I’ll be visiting Canada soon! She’s leaving on a high note (it’s packed), so the show must go on. Get there early to get a seat, showtime is 11 pm. The show features Lauren LeMasters, Alexia Markova, Envy Van Michaels, Cartier Paris, Tanyla and ME. Until then, Bon Voyage Chynna Fox and let ms Canada have it! 46 davidatlanta
Random Shout outs:
The Eagle and Ruby Redd for hosting the outdoor charity event (called WIG OUT) for Mondo Homo despite the rain. Um yea, child we took the Wig event rrrrrright on back inside once that rain started. Ruby was in rare form and when I say ‘rare’ I’m talking girlfriend sporting her beard and everything but she was hilarious as she talked about everybody and everything including dirty duck tape jokes. *** Shout out to Alexandra Martin for winning the crown of Miss Chattanooga to add to her other title Miss Subway (“I need a HERO”), ***Shout out to My Sisters Room for holding THEIR Drag Races competition (Finals May 7th). ***Happy Belated Birthday to bartender Scott Mitchum of Burkharts ***I want to give a shout out to the ASIAN INVASION of the World! She has won a few titles over the years and I’m sure we’ve all seen her perform her way out of a fortune cookie, she is ISABELLA DIAMANTE.
Quote of the week:
‘Be whatever you are by nature, keep to it, never desert your line of talent. Be what nature intended for you and you will succeed” –Sydney Smithee Barton (hmmm, I wonder if nature ever INTENDED for anyone to be a ho!...just saying).
Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Blakes, Tuesdays at SHOUT Saturdays at Tijuana Garage and everywhere else that pays!
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scoreboard
Wednesday, April 28
Front Runners Atlanta Wednesday Run. John Howell Park 869 Virginia Ave. 6:30 pm www.frontrunnersatlanta.org
Thursday, April 29
Atlanta Rainbow Trout Swimming GA Tech Aquatic Center 750 Ferst Dr. 7:30 pm Swim training and workouts for swimmers of all levels. www.atlantarainbowtrout.com
Friday, April 30
Atlanta Rainbow Trout: Swimming & Water Polo GA Tech Aquatic Ctr. 750 Ferst Dr. 7:30 pm Development of future team members for ART Water Polo www.atlantarainbowtrout.com
Saturday, May 1
Women’s Outdoor Network Join our weekend Fit Club for women who want to reach their personal fitness goals. Locations and times vary each week. For info, contact Alison: Alison.hall@suntrust.com www.wonatlanta.com Front Runners Atlanta Saturday Run. John Howell Park 869 Virginia Ave. 8:00 am www.frontrunnersatlanta.org Weight Watchers with ALHI Atlanta Lesbian Health Initiative 1530 Dekalb Ave Atlanta 8:00 am Join us for a weigh in and a meeting. thehealthinitiative.org Flag Football with NFFLA Candler Park 585 Candler Park Dr. 9:45 am Games every Saturday throughout the Spring/Summer season. www.nffla.com
Atlanta Tennis Team Association Open Play Glenlake Tennis Ctr. 1121 Church St. Decatur 1:00 pm $5 for members; $10 for nonmembers. Free for first-timers. Improve your play with other members of all skill levels. This is a doubles-only activity. www.slice.atta.org Atlanta Bucks Rugby: Purple Dress Run Mixx 1492 Piedmont Ave. 1:00 pm $30-$40 The annual event invites all participants to don a purple frock and drink and run! All proceeds raised benefit The Bucks and Youth Pride. Starts at Mixx and stops include Blake’s, Frogs, and Eagle. The will also be prizes awarded in several different categories. Purpledressrun.org
Game Day Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 12:00 Come watch the games at Atlanta’s only gay sports bar. www.woofsatlanta.com
Monday, May 3
Front Runners Atlanta Monday Run. 905 Juniper St. 7:15 pm frontrunnersatlanta.org
Tuesday, May 4
Atlanta Rainbow Trout: Swimming & Water Polo GA Tech Aquatic Ctr. 750 Ferst Dr. 7:30 p Development of future team members for ART Water Polo team atlantarainbowtrout.com
Sunday, May 2
Women’s Outdoor Network Join our weekend Fit Club for women who want to reach their personal fitness goals. Locations and times vary each week. For info, contact Alison: Alison.hall@suntrust.com www.wonatlanta.com Atlanta Rainbow Trout: Swimming, Water Polo, Diving GA Tech Aquatic Ctr. 750 Ferst Dr. Atlanta 11:00 am-2:00 pm Train and practice in all three divisions with others in all skill levels. Swimming: 11-12:30 Water Polo: 11-12:30 Diving: 12:30-2:00 (Diving Membership & Insurance required) For more info: atlantarainbowtrout.com
SUBMIT YOUR SCOREBOARD EVENT! scoreboard@davidatlanta.com 48 davidatlanta
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night life
SONIQUE AND NICOLE PAIGE BROOKS SIT DOWN WITH DAVID MAGAZINE By: Alex Renteria
We all anticipate the approaching finish line of RuPaul’s Drag Race. As the Logo Channel’s breakout show ends its second season, Atlanta can’t feel left out of the mix as we were represented this year by two of our city’s prominent drag performers, Nicole Paige Brooks and Sonique. Although their time on the show was short lived, they both left their indelible lipstick mark and proved that Atlanta deserves its titles as America’s Gayest City and Drag Queen mecca of the South. David Magazine recently sat down with Nicole and Sonique and we talked about their experience with the show and what they learned; what they thought of RuPaul and the other contestants; and what they have planned for the future. David: So, let’s get right to it. Was your experience on the show all that you expected it to be? Nicole: I had a good time doing the show; it was crazier then I thought it would be. Filming was all day everyday and most of the night, then back to the hotel with no outside contact. I think that was the hardest part was sleeping at night not being able to even say goodnight to my son or the rest of my family. Sonique: It was an experience that I am very blessed to have had, but I wanted more drag and less bitchy. David: Of your time on the show, what do you remember the most? Nicole: What I remember most from the show are the other girls. I really liked them. It was cool to meet people from other places and see that we are all the same in some ways. Sonique: I remember feeling like I was dreaming most of the time and my vision seemed blurry, maybe it was from all the left over makeup in my eyes. 54 davidatlanta
David: Do you think the show is fair? Do you think you were treated fairly? Nicole: It is not for me to decide if it is fair or not. It is RuPaul’s show and I signed up for it. Do I think she was always right? NO! But, I’m a contestant not a judge. Sonique: In some ways it was and other ways it wasn’t. It was clearly a slap in my face to be made out like I only tumbled and didn’t lip-sync. Its one thing to show me doing something where I messed up, but when you have to edit the shit out of it to make me a bad guy is pretty pathetic and wrong. The show is NOT fair in that way. David: Editing happens a lot on TV; do you think the other girls were portrayed correctly? Nicole: We all know about editing. If you don’t say it, they can’t play it. They’re not changing what we say to make a better show. They only use what they have. So, if you come across as a two-faced queen who talks shit behind everyone’s back, it must be because you are.
Sonique: I don’t know. Clearly, they act differently in interviews then to my face so, I’m not sure. I know the way I was portrayed was incorrect. I figured they were, too. David: Knowing what you know now about the show, would you have done anything differently?
Nicole: I have visited Jujubee in Boston. Sonique and I have already worked with Sahara in New York. I really love Pandora Box and would love to work with her. And, Jessica Wild…I just love her! Sonique: I talk to every single girl from the show weekly. They will be apart of me forever.
Nicole: Anytime you look back at something like this, there are always things you’d like to change. Since it’s TV, I could have acted a little crazier. But, I wanted to be true and not make a fool of myself.
David: I know you can’t say who wins, but whom do you think has the best chance of winning? Of all the girls, who embodies ALL of what RuPaul looks for—Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent?
Sonique: In order to stay on the show, you have to play the “two-faced game.” It’s TV! It gives so much more to work with and like any other reality show; they need drama for the ratings. Had I known to act two-faced to stay longer, I would have gotten a Golden Globe. (laughs) Playing up to the cameras IS a good strategy!
Nicole: I still think I should have won. I WAS ROBBED!
David: What have you learned from your experience on the show?
Nicole: Be nice. Enjoy it. Be ready for everyone to have an opinion about you.
Nicole: I had a hard time being cut off from my family. When I came home, everything was fine. So, what I learned is that they can take care of themselves and I shouldn’t worry so much.
Sonique: Learn to sew. Stay true to who you are. And never ever trust anyone when they tell you that shaving your pubic hair will rid you of a crab infestation! Just kidding… (laughs)
Sonique: I am a much more confidant person! I have worked very hard to get where I am and I have a lot more work ahead of me. I want people to realize that I am person who makes mistakes and tries to correct them. By no means am I perfect. I know my talent and what I bring to the table, so anyone who wants to bully me around can kiss my ass.
David: What are your plans for the future? Anything exciting in the works?
David: Did RuPaul teach you anything different or have any words of advice for you?
Sonique: I am trans-gendered and I have been working on that for the last 6 months. That is very important to me and has first priority in my life. I also have a band and I am working on music—dance and rock. I have many talented people behind me [for this]. This has been a goal of mine forever. You can see episodes of the second season of RuPaul’s Drag Race on the Logo Channel and on logochannelonline.com
Nicole: What I remember most about RuPaul is how kind she was to the girls. Even when she was judging you, she was still kind. She really has a lot of respect for drag and the people that do it. She has put wind back under the wings of drag again. For that, every queen should thank her. Sonique: RuPaul’s quote is: Ô What people think of me is none of my business’. I love it! It makes so much sense to me and use it every single day of my life. David: Did you make any friends while on the show? Anyone you will keep in touch with or visit?
Sonique: In my opinion, Jujubee is a diamond in the rough. David: What words of advice do you have for anyone who wants to do drag professionally?
Nicole: Atlanta is my home and I plan to be here for a long time. I have started traveling a lot and I am enjoying seeing other parts of the country. There could be more TV in the future, but for now, I cannot say.
You can see Nicole Paige Brooks on Monday and Thursday nights at Blake’s; Wednesday nights at Jungle for Fantasy Girls; and Saturday nights Le Buzz in Marietta. You can see Sonique on Monday nights at Blake’s; Tuesday nights at Shout; Wednesday nights at Jungle for Fantasy Girls; and Thursday nights at Heretic for Café Con Leche. 55 davidatlanta
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TONY MORAN By Alex Renteria
Two-time Grammy nominated DJ, producer, singer, and songwriter; Tony Moran is going to be in Atlanta this Saturday night. The Heretic is going to be the place to be as General Manager, Alan Collins, promises it is going to be a night you won’t soon forget. “This is the first time I have worked with Tony and words can’t describe how excited and proud we are to have him at Heretic. I’ve been working on this for over a year.” It seems like all of Collins’ hard work is about to pay off. Everyone seems to be talking about this special event. Why wouldn’t they? Tony Moran is a big deal! Growing up in Brooklyn, NY, Moran fell in love with music at an early age. When he was a kid he would go to block parties that would be blasting rap music or salsa jams. He loved experiencing music from different cultures. He eventually befriended some of the DJ’s and would “help the guys break down their [DJ] setups, pack their records and put them back in the sleeves.” He still remembers holding the first Chic album with the song ‘Good Times’ on it. “They played some incredible grooves and I got to see that their skills came from love [of music].” By the time he was 18, Moran was well on his way. He was one half the DJ team known as the Latin Rascals and had his own radio show on one of New York’s biggest stations. At 20, he was signed to Fever Records and started writing songs for groups like The Cover Girls and The Fat Boys “…and, yes, even The Beach Boys”, he admits. To date, his list of credits and collaborations reads like a who’s who of the Grammy AND Academy Awards. He has put his golden touch on the works of Cher, Patti LaBelle, Gloria Estefan, Michael Jackson, and a whole lot more. It’s no wonder why artists like Mariah Carey, Madonna, Beyonce, Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez call on Moran when they a song re-mixed with The Moran Sound— hard tribal house beats instilled with a cutting edge electronica sound. One thing is for sure, Moran knows music, and he knows what the people want to hear. That’s why his sound is echoed in clubs and arenas around the world and has been for three decades.
The reason for his longevity is, quite simply, his versatility and his work ethic. As a singer and songwriter, he has released several independent songs and CD’s during his tenure. His latest effort is titled, ‘Magic’. It’s the follow up to his double dance CD, ‘The Event’, and has been two years in the making. ‘You Are’ is the first single from ‘Magic’ and it features compelling vocals by Frenchie Davis. Ambitious as ever, Moran is not slowing down anytime soon. With over 800 titles, dozens of Top 40 hits, and countless #1 dance singles, it is no wonder why you wouldn’t go to Heretic this Saturday. Collins says, “We are definitely taking [this event] to the next level. We have been working hard making upgrades to Heretic.” Improvements include upgrades on the dancefloor and the sound. “…with a kick ass new sound system. You’re not going to believe your ears…the sound is AMAZING.” Tony Moran’s set will start promptly at 10 pm. “You can expect a packed house. If you don’t get here early, you will be waiting in line.” Tony Moran’s Current Top Ten List 1- ‘Destination’ – Lovejoy (Tony’s Next Level Anthem) 2- ‘Arabian Knights’ - Tony Moran 3. ‘Strobelight’ - Kimberly Locke 4- ‘Naturally’ -Selena Gomez (Ralphi Rosario Dub Mix) 5- ‘Scarcube’ - Cube Guys 6- ‘Pachanga’ - Rosabel 7- ‘Supernova Light’ - Becky Baeling 8- ‘Jump MF’ - Soul Stomp (Tony Moran feat. Everett Bradley- Alex Cohen Remix) 9- ‘Deep N Luv’- Sariah 10- ‘Robytek & Ralk Armani’ – Alturas (Original Mix) 57 davidatlanta
horoscopes
Aries
by Lucy
March 21st-April 19th Try a little harder to get that project moving -- people are starting to loosen up a little this week. It’s a good time for you to step out and make sure that you’ve got the right people in the right places.
Libra
September 23rd-October 22nd You’re more concerned with beauty than with so-called ‘real life’ -- and that should work out quite well for you! Your amazing energy helps you hit the sweet spot and reel in some new friends too.
Taurus
Scorpio
Gemini
Sagittarius
Cancer
Capricorn
Leo
Aquarius
Virgo
Pisces
April 20th-May 20th You are feeling a little put out over someone else’s windfall -- but it has little to do with you! In fact, the more you focus on others, the less likely you are to see your own opportunities when they arise. May 21st-June 21st You’re tackling bigger projects and people right now, and loving the action! Your good energy is just right for taking bold action and making things happen even when you are afraid they are impossible. June 22nd-July 22nd Even if you’re needed at work or out in the community, you probably need to spend more time and energy at home this week. Some issues are obvious, while others require a bit of your famous intuition. July 23rd-August 22nd Life is fun right now -- your social energy is spread all around and helps you make the most of all your interactions. Your friends and coworkers should share your smiles by the end of the week. August 23rd-September 23rd Try to make a serious change in the way things are done for now -- you know it’s possible! If you show your friends or colleagues you mean business, they are quite likely to help you get your way.
October 23rd-November 21st You’ve been so successful in various aspects of life that you may not have had much of a chance to develop your patience -- -but now is the time! Action does not pay off, but waiting is sure to do so. November 22nd-December 21st You know life can be a party -- and there are times like now when it seems that most of those around you feel that way too! It’s all good fun almost everywhere you go, so brighten that smile! December 22nd-January 19th Set something new in motion this week -- it’s entirely up to you. It’s true that when coworkers or friends see it in action, they’ll join in, but without your initiative, you’ll all stay back at square one. January 20th-February 18th Try to show someone new a little kindness, or reach out to someone you’d normally never say hello to. It’s a really good time to make new friends and allies,and connecting with others is always beneficial. February 19th-March 20th Watch out for problems at work or at home -- especially with those you work with closely. Partnerships can be tested this week, and while they’re likely to survive, your effort is required!
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the guide SEEN Lindbergh Dr.
17th St.
ire esh Ch
9 5
31
16 10th St. 36,13,3
Spring St. W. Peachtree St. Peachtree St. Juniper St. Piedmont Ave.
10th St.
1,2
Monroe Dr.
Pie dm on tA ve .
6,11,21,35 15
14th St.
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25 39 175 37 38 Rd. 3 14 idge 19 Br
24 27
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Briarcliff Rd.
Northside Dr.
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ay sw res p Ex
st ea rth o N 31 34
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N. Highland
75
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Amsterdam Ave. Virginia Ave.
Ponce De Leon Pl.
18
Peach tree R d.
400
26
12
Ponce de leon Ave.
22North Ave.
Ralph McGill Blvd.
20
64 davidatlanta
Boulevard Dr.
Downtown
Airport
N 20,23
1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta
18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com
2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge
19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com
3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark
20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com
4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com
21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372
5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy. 770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com
36. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082 37. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491 PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 38. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 39. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815
22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478 26. Phaze 1 4933 Memorial Dr. 404-296-4895 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 31. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 32. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506
15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288
33. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264
16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com
RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 34. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989
17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 myspace.com/ jungle_bradwilliams
35. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 65 davidatlanta
bartab Monday
Burkharts
Video Request NightIndustry Night 9pm
The Eagle
Amsterdam
BJ Roosters
Karaoke 11:30pm
Free Pool & Rock Music With Tony Blackjack
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Felix’s
Blake’s
Friends on Ponce
Smirnoff Martini Night
Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin
Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie
Burkharts
Heretic
Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close
The Eagle
Wii Bowling Tournament and DJ Spotlight 9pm - 3am
Jungle
Fantasy Girls Drag Show by Phoenix Doors 8:45pm American Idol Showing 9-10pm w/ show time 10:15 2nd Wednesday each month P.A.L.S bingo @6:30
LeBuzz
Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase
Mary’s
DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm
Model T
Karaoke! With The Fabulous CJ! or The Party Man Patrick! 9:30pm
Free Pool & Rock Music With Tony Blackjack
LeBuzz
Felix’s
Mary’s
Free Pool! Industry Night
CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm
Woofs
Friends on Ponce
Model T
Always A Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!
Thursday
Swinging Richards No Cover Tuesdays!
Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Ladies Night
Woofs
Amsterdam
Afternoons with Jasen 2pm
Frogs
$1 Tacos 6-9pm
Heretic
Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks & great conversation. 10pm to 3 am
Jungle
Doors open 10pm Stars of the Century Drag show by Niesha Depree
LeBuzz
Man Dance Cabaret GOGO Dancers Food& Drink Specials 8pm
Mary’s
Open 5pm DJ Va Jay Jay Spins
Model T
SIN! Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Party with Elvis!
Woofs
Texas Hold’em 8pm
Tuesday 3 Legged Cowboy Basic 2 Step @ 8-9
Amsterdam
Showtunes 9pm
BJ Roosters
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
Twisted Trivia @ 9pm starring The Lady Shabazz
Talent Search & Karaoke
Tripps
Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM
Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm
3 Legged Cowboy
Free WII from 4:00 till close Industry Night!!
Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special
Wednesday
Ectetera! Local Artist Spotlight 8pm - 1am
3 Legged Cowboy
Intermediate 2Step @ 8-9
Amsterdam
Get L.I.T. All Day Specials
Bellissima
Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 7pm
BJ Roosters
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
Rated R @ 11pm - starring Lady Shabazz, Shawnna Brooks, Nichelle Paris, Lateasha Shante Schuntel, Lena Lust & Destiny Brooks Half Price Apps: ALL DAY
Burkharts
Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close w/ Shavonna B. Brooks
The Eagle
Bar Tender Chris & Blackjack
Friends on Ponce
Aurum
Bellissima
Live DJ Entertainment
BJ Roosters
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p The Shawnna Factor @ 11p featuring: Alexandria Martin, Nicole Paige Brooks, Phoenix and Lena Lust
Burkharts
Princess Charles Fashionistas 11:30pm
The Eagle
Shirts Off Party-DJ Nat-Blackjack
Felix’s
Karaoke
Friends on Ponce
HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie
Heretic
H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel
Cafe Con Leche 10pm Latin Beats & Show w/ Lady Karima/Brent Star
Heretic
LeBuzz
Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am
Ladies Night Shows
Mary’s
Themed Parties Reto DJ’s
Swinging Richards 66 davidatlanta
Model T
Robert & Michael serve up their Best!
Woofs
Saturday
Burkharts
Dance Lessons @ 8-9
Felix’s
3 Legged Cowboy Amsterdam
High Energy Videos 9pm
Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials
Bellissima
Friday
BJ Roosters
Amsterdam
High Energy Videos 9pm
Bellissima
Live DJ Entertainment
BJ Roosters
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm
Burkharts
Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm
Chaparral
Got Leche? Latino dance Party & Show with DJ Chirucco 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers and Divas
Live DJ Entertainment
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm
THE place to be tonight DJ Rick Walsh 10pm - 3am
Jungle
Fresh with top 40 music & Video dance party 10pm-3am
LeBuzz
Felix’s
Karaoke with Brett & Tyler
Friends on Ponce
Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer
Heretic
Customer Reward Night DJ Brian Beck 10pm
Party Night Open 10pm with Special DJ’s from all over the world. Check website for details
Saturday Night Fever Show
Mary’s
Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week
Model T
Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!
Swinging Richards
Dance Party & Show
Open 6:30pm - $10 T-Shirt Review @ Midnight
Mary’s
Woofs
Open 5pm Boys Room Party Themed Party - Love DJ
Great Food, Drink & Good Times
Model T
Amsterdam
Bagel Day! Free Bagels Noon-3pm
Swinging Richards
Open 6:30pm - $10 Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails
Sunday Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm
Bellissima
Live DJ Entertainment
Tripps Bar
Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch
Woofs
Great Food, Drink & Good Times
Friends on Ponce Sunday Dinner 4pm
Model T
Free Lunch Buffett with Ron @ 3:30 pm til it’s gone!
Tripps
Woofs
Guest DJ - Blackjack
LeBuzz
Heretic
Closed- See Us On Monday!
The Eagle
Felix’s Bartenders Ray & Cory Serve it up! Happy Time With Daniel and Terry
Eagle
Free buffet 4PM Karokee 7PM
Jungle
Friends on Ponce
Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers
Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm
Burkharts
The Eagle
Eagle GoGo Guys & DJ Nat
Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm
BJ Roosters
Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am
Blake’s
The Armorettes @ 8pm
Great Food, Drink & Good Times
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bitchsession
You left me because you weren’t getting what you needed. Don’t text me to have sex with you ever again. Have fun with your stupid boyfriend who didn’t believe you would cheat on him too.
How come after a year of being on unemployment why have you not made an effort to find a job? I’m tired of being your work-all-day housewife! Why do guys often get you to commit to a second date before telling you that they are HIV positive? There really is no way of asking someone to improve their personal hygiene. Dividers between urinals are my personal enemy. If guys would stop texting and start talking I may actually start dating again! You expect me to remove that thing from the end of your penis? No thanks; I’ll just blow someone else. I am so glad I moved OTP to get away from you crazy queens! It may be far away and boring compared to the city , but at least the people out here are of a higher caliber. So when did Burkhardt’s become Blake’s and Blake’s become Burkhardt’s? When I am ordering a drink from you as my bartender I am ordering alcohol not your attitude so keep it to yourself or I’ll keep my tip to myself!” Ever hear of a monogamous exhibitionist? Sure it rhymes with “Look but don’t touch.” Oh man, I hope that the cream the doctor prescribed works. Not only am I wealthy, but I have a master’s degree and good morals. Don’t judge me just because I laugh my way to the bank.
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You’re thirty plus and can’t have me over because you have a roommate? you don’t have your own room? Either way, you need to get a life at your age. Hey Mr. 465 feet away quit hiding behind your grinder app and say hello. Don’t date men from waffle house. Nex time you borrow my dog tags please take them off before you have sex with someone. No one has had a fish tank since the golden girls. When doing your walk of shame, go home and wash up before you go find another trick. My lips may be fake, but they look better than yours. A real power bottom doesn’t need poppers. It is so tacky to hit all my guy friends up on facebook.
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