Gentleman's Purpose - August 2021 by Gentleman's Purpose

Gentleman’s

Purpose August 2021

Faith: Fighting For Her Heart, Page 10

Relationships: Pacing Yourself To Win The Race, Page 18 Gear: Top 10 Things Every Gentleman Needs in a New Apartment, Page 56 Travel: Discovering America Richmond,Virginia, Page 64

Value and Challenges of CRM:

Part Deux Page 30

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FAITH

Fighting For Her Heart Written by Justin Gaynor

Winning a woman’s heart can often be an exceedingly difficult battle. There are so many situations and experiences that a woman has been through that we know nothing about. Even with a woman that seems to be an open book, there will be things too dark for even her to let you in on, for a while anyway. Sometimes that is for the best as your love for her grows and you can handle more truth.

A friend of mine once taught me about being careful not to “poison the well”. The idea being that your beloved is the cistern, or well, that you spiritually drink from. When you let her in on certain things that people have done to you, said about you, or in some other way mistreated you, she will have a more difficult time loving that person. Even though you may have dealt with it and forgiven them long ago. It places her in the precarious situation of knowing about an injustice committed against someone she deeply cares about and not really having much of an outlet to vent her cries for justice since it has already been dealt with via forgiveness. One way to fight for a woman’s heart is to help her keep it from being tainted with any form of bitterness. That is just one example, but how else can we fight for the heart of the woman we have set our love upon? The Apostle Paul tells his young protégé Timothy that the aim of everything they do is to produce love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. He discovered in his own experience that because every human heart has already been so deeply maligned that the normal philosophies and wisdom that he had attained in his early education in Tarsus were simply inadequate. Yet he discovered that somehow, mysteriously, the telling of the story of divine love for humanity expressed through the life of Jesus of Nazareth was able to accomplish what all these other methods could not. 10

Paul does not really try to explain how the mystery “works”, only that it does, and he invested the rest of his life practicing it and watching, time and again, the hearts of very broken people become mended and whole and flourishing, at every level. If you are concerned for someone’s heart and would like to see joy restored to their lives, the best place to start is simply to share with them about God’s love in sending his Son Jesus to die for their sins, his burial as prophesied in the ancient Hebrew writings, His resurrection (also declared hundreds, even thousands, of years before) and his present position as Lord and Messiah (Anointed and appointed King). There is of course so much more that we can do to both win and help to guard the heart of the woman we have come to love, but there is only one sufficient foundation from which to build. Once a heart is solidly grounded in the divine, unconditional love afforded through the good news of God, it must be nurtured. That woman can grow in grace and knowledge of this love. She has a personal responsibility for her own development of course, but the reason a man is placed in the life of a woman is to be able to help her develop a love that issues from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith. She will be quite instrumental in doing the same for her man as well. Start with the Gospel and be careful that you do not “poison the well”. Start prayerfully with those two things and you will do well. Be wise and careful to “do no harm” and you will also discover ways to nurture and truly enjoy the experiences of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control as you go…

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Relationships

Pacing Yourself to Win the Race Written by Justin Gaynor

I warn you now that it is going to take a little “theology” up front here in order to get to the practical and nourishing substance of this topic. Stick with me, it will be to your benefit whether you are a person of faith or not.

Building relationships can be one of the most challenging and rewarding activities we engage in as human beings. This is true of friendships, romantic relationships, and pretty much all relationships. Relationships have been one of the most profound hopes and mysteries of the centuries. The Jewish prayer called the “Shema”, central to the Judeo-Christian understanding of the way the universe actually works continually reminds us that every piece of the cosmos has a unique and important place. The prayer declares, “Hear O Israel, the LORD is God, the LORD is one”. We see in the Apostle John’s record of the high priestly prayer that Jesus prays this expression of God’s heart that we humans would “be one, even as He and the Father are one.” This unity that comes about and is maintained and nurtured by the Spirit of God is a beautiful hope. A sure hope. The truth is though, we find ourselves in the “in-between” time where the future God has in store overlaps with the present age at certain points, but remains a hope. Something not fully seen, but rather glimpsed and tasted here and there. Those glimpses and tastes are certainly enough to inspire a sure and blessed assurance, yet…we need to become increasingly watchful for these experiences by faith and press into them. 18

So, what does this have to do with our very real, very messy, and sometimes very difficult relationships. Everything. Whether you are building a business, or courting a beautiful young lady, there is a goal that should be clear, and getting from where you are now to that finish line is a marathon, not a sprint. I recently watched a video of David James Wottle who in 1972 overcame significant odds and, after pacing himself slowly into a position of dead last, suddenly, exploded into a steady, faster pace, passing every other runner and taking home the gold medal. It was a truly inspiring, almost mind-blowing spectacle to watch. As you are exploring your relationships and learning from them. As you are growing together with others. Be mindful that there will be challenges and difficulties, we are all sinners, there was only one human that ever loved God and loved people perfectly, and that was Jesus. The rest of us are under construction. We are trying to learn to love ourselves rightly, and then to love others as we love ourselves. The encouragement here is to pace yourself. Don’t settle for less than “real” relationship. If you are having to pound energy drinks or excessive amounts of coffee, or something a little more potent just to keep going, you are trying to go too far, too fast in building your business. If you are having to completely bypass red flags in your personal, vocational, or intimate relationships, you are not exploring and learning that other person as well as you ought to. That will not strengthen intimacy. It will detract from it in the long term. Pace yourself to win the race towards a genuine intimacy in relationships where you can fully know the other person and you can be fully, and comfortably, known by them. 19

Style

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Business

The Value and Challenges of CRM, Part Deux Written by Justin Gaynor

Customer Relationship Management...it’s all about relationships. When your business gets to the point where meaningful relationships seem impossible due to the sheer number of people your business is servicing, then some sort of enterprise CRM is a wise choice. From a profitability standpoint, if a CRM system will help you increase the lifetime value of a customer by more than the additional cost of the system and related expenses, then you should likely move forward. What is the “lifetime value” of a customer you ask? Well, if I sell lawnmowers and someone could buy one from me or Walmart, or some other store, I may only be operating on a transaction basis. That is to say, the customer comes in, gives me a couple hundred dollars and goes home to mow their lawn. I don’t see or hear from them again. The lifetime value of that customer was the value of the transaction.

If I am thinking in a longer term, relationship oriented approach, things are a little different. With CRM, they come in, give me a couple hundred dollars, and I input their information into our CRM. Three days later, the CRM generates an email, just to check up with the customer, make sure they are happy with the purchase, and reminds them to register the lawnmower online for warranty purposes. They don’t respond to the email, but they click the link and register the lawnmower. A week later, I get an email encouraging me to give the customer a quick follow-up call. I look at their account on the CRM and notice they have a birthday in a couple days. I call them and personally make sure everything is going well with the mower, wish them a happy birthday, and mention that if they want to stop in and pick up an edger, I’ll knock 15% for their birthday. An hour later they show up at the store for the birthday edger. And so on and so forth...before I know it my circle of 50 ‘regular’ customers has grown to 500 and I can actually give all of them the specialized service that they like so much because of a little helpful CRM technology. CRM also works well for developing sales pipelines and equipping you to lead the public through the customer journey. Taking a person from the point of awareness that your business even exists, to interest, to them beginning to evaluate a specific purchase from your business, to them taking an action to purchase, to them being nurtured as a customer, and becoming a vocal advocate for your brand. Keller Williams does a wonderful job with their “33-Touch” model that has a program of 33 points of contact with prospects/ customers during a 12 month period of time that helps keep them top of mind as the person is considering buying or selling a home. These 33 points of contact include emails, phone calls, birthday cards, Christmas cards, and more. It is a system that offers a diverse mix of communication types that are all reiterating the same message, “We want to be your first choice when it comes to your real estate needs.” And it works. It works really well. However, implementing a CRM system is not nearly as easy as it may seem at first. We’ll talk more about that next month though. 31

Dining

Jamaican Dining In Richmond Virginia Written by Justin Gaynor

My visit to Richmond was relatively brief. After spending the morning on a bicycle tour of the city, I had planned to get on the road just after lunch. But where would I dine? There were so many great restaurants. Then I happened upon a fresh expression of Jamaican dining that I couldn’t resist. Irie Ting Jamaican Grill was a small cafe with a bright, crisp, clean feeling to it. During my visit, there were a few downtown workers that stopped in to pick food up, but no one was really dining in. I suspect that is due to the seriousness with which Richmond was taking the COVID-19 restrictions, even though they had, for the most part been officially lifted. The service was prompt and sweet. After reviewing the menu, I decided to go with the curry chicken and an ice cold Red Stripe. The ticket time was less than 10 minutes and my food was piping hot. The flavors were nothing less than magical and the portion size was just right for a hearty lunch. I highly recommend Irie Ting if you are ever in Richmond. Of course, you can always make Curry Chicken at home if you are so inclined. Check out this wonderful recipe at “Say Grace Blog”:

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Books

Recommended Additions To Essential Dal

They say that no man is an island. Therefo how to interact and communicate effect There are very few writers that have had m successful, and persuasive, communicato fresh, swift, and witty. These books are a jo to any gentleman’s personal library. 42

Your Library For August 2021: le Carnegie

ore, it would be wise for gentlemen to learn tively with those in their sphere of influence. more success in equipping people to be ors than Dale Carnegie. His writing style is oy to read and will make a great addition 43

Music

He Marches To The Beat of His Own Drum Written by Justin Gaynor

In a previous edition of Gentleman’s Purpose eMagazine I have talked about the importance of taking up a musical instrument of some sort. It is amazing how much anxiety and stress engaging in the joy of making music can alleviate (when it’s for fun anyway...). Percussion instruments can be a great way to start and also a great way to engage in community. Drum circles are becoming increasingly popular, and if a very laid back, chill group of people would add value to your life, a local drum circle may be just what you need. While going full-throttle with a full drum set, or electric drum kit might be too much, a nice djembe is what I usually recommend. However, a quality xylophone is a great conversation piece for a gentleman’s apartment and can produce some truly mystic sounds. The encouragement here is to simply start a musical journey. Sign up for some classes, watch a few YouTube videos, make some new friends, you will be a better man for it.

Gear

Top 10 Things Every Gentleman Needs in a New Apartment Written by Justin Gaynor

When I moved into my first apartment by myself, I had the benefit of having already moved into a university dorm room, owned a townhome and two single family residences. So, I had already been through the process of “making a house a home” a few times. I learned about buying furniture and building credit while using other people’s money from Rooms-To-Go, acquiring all the trendiest middle-class kitchen gizmos from Target, and saving money by shopping in bulk at Sam’s Club.

It was different now though. It was just me this time and I was starting from zero. I actually had more assets at 19 years old moving into my first townhome than I did at 35 after a divorce that had left me in a situation where it was just Jesus, me, some clothes, and a stack of books. I still believe that was God’s plan for me in order to help me understand that it is Him that will never leave me nor forsake me. So, in a sense, as the writer of Hebrews says, “You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.” I wish I could say that I had a great attitude during that whole season, but there were moments where I wanted to throat-punch a couple people. Praise be to God for self-control that comes by the Spirit of Holiness. Now that I am just about seven years this side of that low point in my life, I have made considerable strides towards regaining a reasonable level of financial security. Thanks be to God whose favor make one rich without adding any sorrow to it. In this month’s gear section, I want to give you ten things every gentleman should acquire when establishing a new apartment or residence.

1) Comfortable Bed 2) Stylish Couch & Chair 3) Chef’s Knife/Flatware 4) Cups & Dishes 5) Cast Iron Skillet 6) Quality Stereo 7) Television 8) Desk and Chair 9) Towels/Wash Cloths 10) A Bottle of Whiskey 57 Please Drink Responsibly

Travel

Discovering America: Richmond Virginia Written by Justin Gaynor Having visited with friends and family in Statesville, NC it was time to continue the journey of discovering America. My next destination was the city of Richmond in the great state of Virginia. The only thing I really knew of Virginia before heading there was a joke I once heard Robin Williams tell in one of his standup performances. This would be the furthest north I have ever driven in the United States. I was excited to see what adventures lay before me. Richmond was a relatively easy four-hour drive from Statesville. However, I decided to take the scenic route up 77 to 81 and past Roanoke (you know, from the song “Wagon Wheel” written by Bob Dylan and Ketch Secor, made popular recently by Darius Rucker). It was a beautiful drive through the Appalachian Mountains. It took me closer to five hours, but it was worth it in my opinion. Time was not something I was entirely concerned with on this trip. It was all about the experience of freedom. Arriving in Richmond late in the evening, I located a place to get some rest for the night and planned to get an early start the next morning. My day started around 5am and after my morning routine, I got on my trusty SMART phone and began brainstorming some ideas. Places I wanted to go, things I wanted to see, and so forth. Richmond is a beautiful, very historic city. After locating a place to park my car for the day in the center of where it seemed most of the sites were to be found, I set off with my mountain bike to explore. But first, coffee! 64

Lamp Lighter Coffee was a few short miles, so that would get my day started with some exercise and I’d get to try a popular local coffee shop. When I arrived they were still closed for serving people on the inside. There was a window to order from and then a little table set up to the left where they delivered your coffee to you and you could add your milk and honey, or whatever you take in your coffee. There were a few people waiting in line and I struck up a conversation with a few of them. I learned a little about the neighborhood I was in and got some recommendations for the top three things to see. I was a little shocked when the gentleman I had been speaking to went to get his coffee and was aggressively reprimanded by the barista/server.

The gentleman had a mask on, but it was only covering his mouth and was not overtop his nose. Within a few moments our leisurely conversation went to the barista telling the man to never come back and that this wasn’t the first time he had been told. From now on they were not going to serve him. “No coffee for YOU!!!” It was kind of a tragedy, because the guy lived in a nice home that he had pointed out to me that was literally in sight of the coffee shop. This COVID thing has not done wonders for community relationships. That was not my only experience like this in Richmond. There is a very sharp divide between liberal and conservative in this town, though things had certainly calmed down quite a bit since the recent riots related to the statue of the Southern General Robert E. Lee and the Black Lives Matter Movement.

As a Christian, I am not entirely in favor of graven images to begin with, but in visiting this towering tribute to the Confederate General I found it to be quite sad. I could only imagine being a black man raising my family in that neighborhood and having to look at the image of this man that would give his life and the lives of his men to keep me and those of my color in slavery. It would be like setting a statue honoring Pharoah in the middle of Jerusalem. On the other side of the coin, it is part of the heritage and dark history of this town. I suppose that if I had to take the thought captive, I might look at that statue each morning as a black man heading to work for the day and think, “You would have committed me and my race to violent, oppressive servitude. But God is greater, and now you are just a cold piece of bronze. A dead idol. And we are alive and free and thriving.” I do not consider myself a liberal or a conservative, I have come to bring the Truth.

Richmond was not only rich with history, but the art community was thriving. It seems like every other building had some mural or something going on. It was quite a vibrant and lively city for the most part. I have to say that my favorite part was my ride through the park round the James River. The scenery was beautiful, and the park well kept. The sound of the river and the cool weather made for an exhilarating bicycle tour. It was about lunch time, and I had to decide where I wanted to eat. To my surprise, I located what seemed to be a relatively new Jamaican Café that had a very fresh interior design. To my delight, they had some of the most delicious curry chicken that I’ve had in a long time. After finishing my Red Stripe and thanking the young proprietor, I was on my way…toward the next destination in the Gentleman’s Purpose journey to discover America. 67