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FOCUS ON SELLING MORE AND BETTER Be An Encourager

2020 DINNN ER DATES

KEEPER

10 THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A

September 2020

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What’ Rest, Today. Pg. 10

Surprised By Kindness, Part 2. Pg. 12

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Be An Encourager Pg. 20

Dress For Success Pg. 25

Take These F Safeguard Y Financial Fu

2020 Dinner Da 10 Things To Lo Keeper, Pg. 35

’s Inside

Five Steps To Your Family’s uture, Pg. 28

ates: ook For In A

The Vineyard with Joe Paul, Pg. 42

FOCUS ON SELLING MORE AND BETTER, Pg. 46

Long Weekends, starting on Pg. 64 Gentleman’s Purpose

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Rest, Today.

Written by Justin Gaynor

The ancient Hebrew people were instructed by God to set aside certain times for rest. In our busy lives, we rarely are intentional about embracing this gift of rest.

One Rabbi comments that the Sabbath was ‘made for the man.’

It seems strange to me that God would make something that is such a delight for human beings, and we would choose not to receive it. All that being said, let’s explore some of the benefits of setting aside time for this kind of rest.

1. Being intentional about setting aside time to rest makes room for you to experience love...being loved and loving.

2. Intentional periods of rest allow you to excercise your free-will to embrace freedom from slavery.

3. Chosing to rest and also to encourage those in your charge to rest with you (your household, employees, etc.) helps you to focus on being human with everyone else. You are not a machine and neither are they.

4. Embracing a day of rest puts money and wealth in its proper place, as a servant to you, not your master.

5. A day of rest makes space in your life to connect more deeply with God and others.

6. Embracing a time of rest is rich with blessing. You will learn to whole-heartedly call your sabbath day a delight.

7. It will prepare you and lead you to what the Psalmist that penned Psalm 95 referred to when he talked about entering a rest beyond what Joshua led the people of Israel into, something that can be entered into now, ‘Today’. This rest includes and goes far beyond all of these other benefits.

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SURPRISED BY KINDNESS Written by Justin Gaynor

If you play with frogs, you will get warts!

That is what they used to say anyway.

Well, I am not sure how many frogs I played in the dirt with as a child, but by the time I got to elementary school I had warts on my feet, on my knees and all over my hands. As I type this I can still recall the sting and stench of ‘Compound W’...a medicine my mom used to use to get those things off of me. It was like I was the frog that got kissed by the beautiful princess, but only transfigured part of the way into a full on prince. This, of course, led to all kinds of bullying by classmates. Nothing like trying to keep in proper line formation walking down the hallway and hearing the proclamation, ‘Aye! Wart-monger! Gay-Nerd (a rather brilliant play on my last name)! I’m talking to you!’ The point is that people can be terribly cruel when it comes to physical abnormalities. “You know how Ogres are like onions....layers....they have layers!”

One of the most challenging physical abnormalities has to do with the human mind and mental illnesses.

Mental illnesses can come about from a variety of different sources. Some people are born with mental illnesses. Some are brought on by experiencing certain trauma. Still others are the result of improper use and abuse of substances. Of course, if we are to include the reality of a spiritual dimension, we must also include demonic possession and oppression. The ancient writings are clear that if humans choose to shape their lives around created things, giving worship to something less than the God who is love, then, being love, He does not insist on His own way and will give them over to a depraved mind. The Jewish writings also tell us that for those who hate God and reject His Way, the sins of the parents will visit their children for three and four generations. A pattern that can only be fully broken by being born again.

That is a terribly significant reason, for parents who love their children especially, to turn their worship toward the living God and away from these lesser things.

As I consider experiences that I have had of kindnesses that led me to turn my heart more toward God, I now want to introduce you to a team of people that demonstrated a kindness towards my mom that forever changed me and turned my heart to understand more about the God of the Bible. It is an experience that delves into some very controversial subjects as far as the world is concerned, but is in fact extremely straight forward when it comes to the Abrahamic worldviews (Judaism, Muslim and Christian).

My mom was a beautiful young woman. She was a cheerleader for South Iredell High School, a Viking, in Stateville, North Carolina. Unfortunately, she experienced some sexual abuse that resulted in her being sent from North Carolina to live with her Aunt Allie and Uncle Harold in Central Florida. Her Aunt and Uncle were some of the most godly folks I’ve ever known. Evangelical, Southern Baptist...and they owned a restaurant. My mom’s life was not easy. She learned the value of hard work and was an All-American gal. Unfortunately, the scene in Daytona Beach was wrought with snares to carry a beautiful young woman off in all sorts of dangerous and sinful directions. Especially one with the trauma of sexual abuse, estrangement from her mom and more of a father complex than I would like to get into. The point is that even though she had prayed to receive Christ as a young girl and followed Him in believers Baptism...it did not keep her from stumbling into sin and living a hard life with many self-inflicted wounds, both emotional, spiritual and otherwise.

After she met my dad, and became pregnant with and birthed me, she was still into living the fast life. This did not go over well with my dad who, being a Canadian had a much more ‘nose-to-the-grind-stone’ mentality. He was a hard working guy, fun to be around, but desired a certain calm rhythm to life and she

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seemed to be grooving to some unpredictable jazz that he simply was not attuned to. They soon divorced around the time I was two.

My dad ended up getting married to a woman named Candy and my mom messed around with transporting some ‘candy’ between Florida and North Carolina and spent a year of my early development in a North Carolina jail cell. After she got out, she returned to Florida and oh, how the craziness commenced. She might have liked to run wild herself, but when it came to my dad...her man, as she saw it, uh uh! My dad, who was now married to someone else, would see her reveal her inner cat by becoming extremely territorial, through the only means she could in some way express it. That was by being excessively protective of me, particularly as it related how my step-mom interacted with me. I’d love to explain how all this affected me, but the thrust of this story is the faithfulness of God toward my mom, whom He had met when she was a young girl.

My mom ended up in the New Smyrna Beach area and found herself pregnant with a child by her boyfriend, Jeff. I don’t know much about Jeff, but I remember his brother was a surfboard shaper married to a woman named Nina. Nina was one of my mom’s best friends and their son, Matt, ended up being one of my good friends and influential in me learning to surf. Not that I’m all that rad. I was about five when I found out I was going to have a little brother. I was super stoked! They even let me name him, ‘Andrew John’. The weird thing is that he ended up with the same last name as me. You see, Jeff, was apparently not at a point in his life where he particularly wanted to be a dad. So during a violent fight with my mom, he threw her down a flight of stairs almost killing my baby brother. I’m not sure if my dad went and kicked his ass, but I know that my mom and baby brother ended up coming back to live with us at that point. I guess it is important to note here that my step-mom, Candy, had jumped ship somewhere in the midst of all this when my dad decided to build us a house and move to the suburbs away from Orlando.

So, I was super happy! Not only did I have my mom and dad back together, but I had my baby brother safely on the way, despite the attempted murder by that douchebag Jeff. Unfortunately, this didn’t last except for a few years. My mom suddenly started discovering new brothers and sisters sprinkled all over the place. She also re-connected with her mom. It was great! I had more family than I knew what to do with! My mom was playing softball. She had started her own construction cleaning business. My dad had steady work and we had an awesome house that my dad had built us with his own hands. We just installed a swimming pool and we were having cookouts and playing volley-ball in the pool with neighbors and co-workers. Then my mom started connecting with a younger sister that was a little too much like she was in her younger years. All of my dad’s insecurities started getting stirred up from wounds that still hadn’t healed when he was left all alone to be a single dad with me. The fights began, and the next thing I know, my mom, my little brother and me were hitting the road together. Leaving my dad all by himself, when all he wanted to do was hold his family together. Sometimes we do that. We try so hard to hold on to something that it just flows away from us all the more quickly...like grabbing a fistful of water.

My mom ended up getting married again to a guy on the opposite end of the spectrum. My dad was a hard working stucco guy that was huge about family time and long term commitment. My step-dad was a highly educated network engineer with a major telecommunications company that is a big picture idea guy with multiple marketable patents, but also very loyal in his own way.

The truth is they are both great guys, but that didn’t stop me from giving Ken, my step-dad, all sorts of trouble. First of all, that’s my mom and I don’t know you. Also, when you are a kid in this situation, you always feel strong ties to your natural father. I tended to feel a deep sense that I was betraying my dad if I was even somewhat nice to my mom’s love interest. He ended up being a really cool guy though and has taught me a lot about life. He even legally adopted my little brother. Something that I know broke my dad’s heart, but it ended up working out for the best in the long term. Particularly once my dad got re-married, this time to his high school sweetheart that he somehow re-connected with void of any social media platforms.

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This is where things start to get really crazy. I’m living with my brother, my mom and my step-dad. We are insanely successful. My mom finally realized her dream of owning her own family restaurant like her Aunt had in Daytona when she was growing up. I think at one time Ken had 9 cars in our driveway on our three acre estate. The house that Lucent and the Countryside Cafe’ built. It was great. We had some of the best parties and new people staying with us all the time. My mom has always been very hospitable and helpful as I have elsewhere mentioned. Yet, where in all this was the faith of my mom’s early years? My stepdad... years later... I would discover was raised in the Way and that his dad was very active in God’s Church, but somehow it didn’t seem to openly translate. Without that element, it seemed that God allowed things to begin to rapidly slide downhill just after I left to South Florida for college.

Suddenly, my step-dad had gone off to Denver, Colorado on some new venture with his brother-in-law, my mom spiraled into depression, feeling lonely and abandoned she started using dangerous drugs and fell into a lesbian relationship with one of her restaurant employees...try getting that phone call from your mom when you are in the middle of studying for your international business exam! My younger brother is twelve years old, fending for himself for the most part, probably feeling abandoned again without me or Ken there and my mom not being a stable presence. It didn’t stop. It all got worse and worse and worse until the whole world we had built was demolished.

When enough was enough, shortly after my own Christian conversion, my mom, having moved to South Florida, ended up walking into Calvary Chapel, a small contemporary church in Boynton Beach. There she fell in love with Jesus again. She was so excited about her new church. She would volunteer to clean the church and help out Pr. Joe Trapani as much as she could. Yet, she was still struggling with depression, all sorts of medical issues and this lesbian relationship that had recently ended when she turned her heart back to God. I want you also to know that this woman that my mom was in relationship with had a very difficult story as well. That was the main attraction to my mom I think, compassionate connection rooted in a common mistrust and fear and anger towards men. The devil will do that. Take you down the wrong path by giving you something that appears to be what you need and taking it way too far. The woman that my mom was involved with was a U.S. Marine that was raped and sodomized by a superior ranking officer and then dishonorably discharged, given a monthly disability check and told to hit the road...you know...take one for the team. So she was all kinds of messed up and that strongly impacted the situation.

Yet, here was the God that saved my mom as a little girl faithfully bringing her back to Himself. She ended up spending time with a ministry at that small church, Calvary Chapel. A ministry called Fervent Prayer. It is a ministry rooted in a deep respect for God and the things of God where confession and repentance take place and God does miraculous things. Not only did my mom repent of all these things I have shared and more, but she forgave so many people that had sinned against her through the years. In His steadfast love and faithfulness, He was getting her ready.

You see, my mom saw Christ in me. The last Christmas we spent together she gave me a bottle of expensive cologne, Obsession, because she knew Jesus had become my glad obsession. All she asked for that Christmas...was a white robe. A little over two months later, at 53 years old, she died in her sleep in the spare bedroom of her godly Aunt Allie’s house, the restaurateur that had cared for and mentored her as a confused and frightened young girl. The kindnesses that I saw in the life of my great-aunt Allie and in that Fervent Prayer team that continued to express the lovingkindness of Christ to my mom, leading her to a place of repentance from sin and reminding her of her sure salvation in the righteousness of Christ alone, are to this day nothing less than miraculous in my mind.

Not too long afterward, I found myself walking through deep repentance with the Fervent Prayer team... turning from much unconfessed sin and dealing with a lot of unforgiveness and self-righteousness, when in fact it is this same Christ and the grace that is in Him that has kept me safe all my years. I do not think I would have as deep a trust in my Savior had I not seen how He refused to give up on my mom and deliver her from so much so that she could step into His Heavenly Kingdom, a spotless and flawless Bride. ​To be continued...

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RELATIONSHIPS

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Be an Encourager Written by Justin Gaynor

As a gentleman, people will look to you for guidance. Not least the woman that looks to you as ‘her man’. You need to be able to listen well and give wise guidance. In doing so, be attentive to those things that build-up and encourage the other person. Talk about those things. Be specific.

Yes, there will be times that you will need to re-direct, and even correct, the person whose life you are speaking into.

You want to avoid developing a fault-finding mentality. Look for, focus on, and celebrate the ‘gold’ and the dross will automatically begin to melt away due to the fervency of gratitude for what is good and valuable.

Gentlemen are slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to get angry. Your relationships, if they go beyond being superficial at all, will include conflicts.

People, even close friends or lovers, do not always get along and agree all the time, on every topic. However, because our relationships are as important as they are, being eager to maintain connection is important.

It is encouraging when a person sees that you are being intentional about maintaining connection and tabling points of disunity when the vibe gets heated.

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This loving approach is often expressed in slowing down, listening more intently, and trying to ask better questions rather that stating more zealously our own opinions.

Your efforts to enage in this way will not always be recognized or appreciated by the other person.

Some people want to fight, and when they want to fight, a gentleman needs to allow his level of patience, wisdom, and grace to increase in order to effectively contend with the challenge of the other person’s lawless attitude or behavior.

Choosing to become an encourger is taking a long-term view of your relationships. They say that bad company corrupts good morals. It is for this reason that being intentional about being an encourager is so helpful. None of us is perfect, yet.

We are all ‘bad company’ at certain times and in certain ways.

So since isolating ourselves for long periods of time is neither healthy or advisable, we need to behold one another based more on what is possible over the long-term.

When we look at a person’s potential, rather than their present status, we somehow begin to bring that future reality into the present.

We start to call forth their greatness.

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Dress For Success Written by Justin Gaynor I was in a hurry and there was no one there to help me. Growing up, I worked in my family’s country diner. However, at seventeen, it was time to stretch my legs. I had been searching the newspapers for job openings in a more ‘professional’ field. My mom had bought me an olive green suit with a double breasted coat. Today was the day. There was a real estate office hiring and they were paying $10 an hour for someone to do office work. I was so excited!

It did not occur to me through the whole process of preparing and printing my resume, practicing interview questions, and so forth...that I had never actually tied a tie before.

On the rare occasion that I needed to wear a tie, I just had one of those clip-on ties.

This important factoid didn’t choose to jump into my brain until I was ready to head to the interview. Of course, at that point, my step-dad Ken, who wore a shirt and tie to work every day was nowhere to be found. Nor was my mom.

I was pretty much convinced that I was going to have to sport the double-breasted coat with just a white dress shirt underneath...no tie? It was killing me as I was heading west on I-4 toward Orlando for the interview. I had to pull into a filling station and get some fuel. In somewhat of a stressed out rush, I decided to ask the attendant at the fuel station if he knew how to tie a tie. I briefly explained the situation to him and to my surprise, this kind soul that spends his day ringing out candy bars, beer, and petrol had the skill I needed at the moment.

He took my tie and quickly tied the tie round his own neck, explaining as he went. Then he slid the knot down the hidden strand of the tie, slipped it over his head, and handed it to me. ‘And that’s all there is to it!’ So now I am humbled and thanking him profusely as I am running out the door to get to the interview on time.

Pulling into the parking lot of the Real Estate office, I wiped the sweat from my brow, composed myself, and walked into the meeting. A very kind woman took me into an office and offered me a glass of water. I handed her my resume, which was surprisingly well done according to her. We talked for about 45 minutes or so, and she finally said, “Well, I think you are just the one for the job. I just need to take a photocopy of your drivers license and see your social security card. I provided her my documentation and she disappeared round the corner to the copy room.

She re-appeared after a few minutes with a strange look on her face. ‘Um, are you not even 18 years old?’ I responded, ‘Well, no ma’am,is that going to be a problem?’ ‘Oh, I am sorry, but yes, this position does require that you be at least eighteen years of age.

You just looked so professional and handled yourself so well, I didn’t think it would be a problem.’ Apparently, it was. Lesson learned and I started practicing how to tie a tie with my step-dad soon thereafter.

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BUSINESS

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TAKE THESE FIVE STEPS TO SAFEGUARD YOUR FAMILY’S FINANCIAL FUTURE

With 74 percent of Americans living paycheck to paycheck, including households making over $150,000 a year, it’s no secret that many households need to take important steps to safeguard their financial future and build a foundation for financial stability to weather any economic uncertainty.¹ Here are five ways you can help secure your family’s financial future today: 28

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Stop spending money on things you don’t need.

Are you still paying for a gym membership that you’re not using? Are you enrolled in a monthly audiobook subscription that is just racking up credits since you’re working from home? Do you need every streaming service out there? Figure out how to suspend your memberships or cancel them entirely. Every penny adds up!

Eliminate debt.

Household debt in the United States recently crossed the $14.3 trillion mark – the highest ever on record – and that was only through the first three months of 2020.² It’s time to get out of the debt trap today. Cutting credit card interest costs by using an accelerated payment method, transferring a balance to a zero-interest credit card, or working with a financial professional may be a smart move for your family if you’re stuck in a debt rut.

Save, save, save.

Think you don’t make enough money to save some of it? Think again! About 30 percent of Americans say they’ve experienced a salary decrease since the pandemic started, and one in five have dipped into their savings.³ While 19 percent of respondents say they’re using this time to save more, nearly a quarter said they had zero savings before or none now.³ If there were ever a time to live lean and below your means to increase your savings, it’s now! Auto-enroll yourself to put aside at least 10-15 percent of every paycheck and make the cuts elsewhere. Got a raise? Save it! Your future self will thank you.

Stay positive.

Being depressed about your financial situation won’t change it. A survey conducted in the fall of 2019 found that nearly 70 percent of Americans have cried about money.4 You don’t have to be in that statistic. Do something about it! By finding out where you stand financially and retooling your budget, you can develop the right checklist for your family, such as saving for retirement, and building up short-term and long-term savings accounts.

Stay healthy.

Maintaining good health is key to keeping medical and insurance costs down, as well as keeping potentially expensive emergency doctor and dental visits at bay. Take a look at easy ways you can focus on preventative health with frugal lifestyle habits (like taking a daily walk — it’s free! — or cutting some expensive and sometimes unhealthy restaurant meals from your budget) to be the healthiest version of yourself and keep your hard-earned money in your bank account.

1 MarketWatch.com, “A Shocking Number of Americans Are Living Paycheck to Paycheck,” January 11, 2020 2 Bloomberg.com, “U.S. Household Debt Reaches Yet Another Record on Home Loans,” May 5, 2020 3 Bankrate.com, “Survey: Nearly One-Third of Americans Dealing with Lower Income Due to Coronavirus Outbreak,” May 13, 20020 4 Money.Yahoo.com, “Majority of Americans Have Cried Over Money, Study Says,” October 21, 2019 Gentleman’s Purpose

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Leveraging Community For Growth Nowadays it is expected that if you are in business, you need to be involved with your community.

However, the genuineness of your commitment will be tested. The community can sniff out someone that only has their own self-interests at heart.

The fact is we all really like to think that we are good people. Truth be told though, until our faithfulness is tested...can it really be trusted? Sometimes we are blind to the level of greed and selfishness that is in us. When confronted with it, the natural reaction is to go on the defensive or withdrawal. Fight or flight.

There is a better way. Slow down. Consider what you are being confronted with. Is there any sense of conviction, and if so, consider how to adjust your course. If not, simply move forward and do the next right thing.

Finding New Passion For Success It has been a rough year. The nation and the world have not experienced this kind of slowdown in a long time. Without question, the COVID-19 pandemic has disrupted every area of our lives.

The late Clayton Christensen, an American scholar did a lot of work on the topic of ‘disruptive innovation’ in business. We are in the perfect environment to present these types of innovations, because human needs have changed with regard to all the ways we live, work, and play.

So, now is the time to start deeply considering how we can bring new products and services to market.

Products and services that are going to solve problems, create new markets, and change the game for the better.

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2020 DINNER DATES

10 Things to look for in a ‘Keeper’ Written by Justin Gaynor

Dating during COVID-19 seems more complicated than when HIV was running rampant. Is it because the contagion is actually transmitted through physical touch and germs are passed from the mouth and nose area? You might end up with something like the flu.

However, with the modern hook-up culture, both COVID-19 and HIV, among other things, weighs heavily on a single guy that is at the point in his life where he is seeking a wife.

Of course, the proper thing to do is to make the decision to limit the level of intimacy you engage in with the women you are dating. Waiting till marriage gives time for true friendship to develop, if either person has previously been sexually active, to be tested for any STDs, premarital counseling with a qualified Christian elder or elders, and so forth.

I understand that all sounds good and proper, but the reality is when you walk her to the door after that amazing night, she’s looking so good in the moonlight, her perfume is smelling like honey and jasmine...and then she’s says, ‘Do you want to come up for a little while.’ You and I both know that your resolve to care for and respect this woman as a gentleman ought to is going to be tested...seriously tested. If you fail, I encourage you to confess discretely to your pastor or elder/deacon in the church and pray for more grace, and wisdom, as you move forward.

All that being said, let’s get to the top 10 things to look for in a ‘keeper’...

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She is physically appealing to you. It feels weird to start the list here and very superficial; however, the reality is that if you are not physically attracted to her there are going to be more challenges in the relationship than is necessary.

God created you, gave you certain experiences in your life, and...if you are delighting yourself in Him, He gives you the desires of your heart, desires for good things.

She makes and holds eye contact. Give this one a little time. A lot of women have been in very challenging relationships, not only with other boyfriends or previous (non-believing*) husbands, but also with fathers, step-fathers and so forth. They may be struggling with insecurity and shame. A woman who thinks you are attractive, but has some of this baggage, will eventually, once you help her feel comfortable, seek to connect with you eye to eye. *As Christian men, we are not permitted to marry a woman that was married to another man who was a Christian at the time of her divorce. She is to return to her own husband when she can safely do so, if she desires to be married again.

She fears the LORD. No man in his right mind wants to be married to a foolish woman. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. It is this starting point that will have her choosing to stay married to you through all of the difficulties of life. A woman who fears the LORD does what pleases Him, in accordance with Scripture, regardless of her feelings and opinion on a matter. The same is true of us as men. Surely, you do not want to be a fool in God’s economy.

You are inclined to trust her. This is a difficult one, because most guys I know are very quick to trust a pretty girl with a sweet smile and a nice body. You should, however, prayerfully, have some inclination to trust her based on your first few conversations. Guard your heart though. Trust in the character of Jesus. He rarely trusted himself with people, because He knew what was in us... sin in our minds, motives, and deceitful hearts. He knows what is in every woman that you may be interested in and He knows what is in you, and He will reveal those things to you so that you can decide if you and this woman are at a place where trust can safely and mutually be enjoyed.

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She is interested in your success. Let me be clear. All women desire a firm sense of security. It is your responsibility as a boyfriend and, certainly, as a husband, to contribute positively to that sense of security. However, there is a huge difference between a ‘ride-or-die chick’ and a ‘bad-bitch’, the first is an investment, the second is a bill waiting to happen. So, does this woman want to build you up and be your help-mate for success on every level? Can she honestly pray for you, ‘Beloved, my prayer for you is that you would prosper in all things and be in good health, even as your soul prospers.’ Then, will she live her life in such a way that she will be a consistent contributing factor to that answered prayer? Will you be able to look back on your life together and say, ‘She is my glory, and I give my glory to no other.’?

She works willingly. What are her career goals? Obviously, they won’t line up with yours immediately, but are you on the same trajectory? If either of you has to require too much of a shift to have a common vision, then there are going to be problems such as resentments. There is a lot of social pressure and expectations on women. You need to be aware of what presses on her and help her carry or unload that burden. This social pressure is not a new phenomenon, though it has certainly shifted extremes during the last hundred years. How you discern her heart will matter. Is she willing to work outside the home when needed? Is she willing to work inside the home when needed?

Does she desire to give birth to and raise godly children with a Christian husband? That is hard work, but good work...does she desire such a high thing?

She nourishes those she is entrusted with. Listen, my mom owned restaurants. She was a good cook by any standard. The woman God has for you will nourish far more than just your body though. As important as that is.

She will speak to you with genuine respect, honesty, and love. She will tell you the truth with a gentle humility that comes from God, and then she will trust God. She will nourish you with wisdom and insights that you would not have attained without her...and she will be able to make an amazing lasagna as well. These are the things you are looking for.

She is exceedingly generous. A woman that is stingy regarding those less fortunate will eventually look down on and withhold good things from you as well. Selfishness and pride are like a cancer that overtakes a person. You want a woman that would be just as happy raising kids with you in a million dollar ocean-front condo as she would traveling around the country in a van listening to classic rock. The way a woman obtains that level of generosity is through practicing gratitude, trusting God, and learning to hold onto this world loosely.

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She encourages and supports you in community involvement. A good woman will be protective of you. A pastor friend of mine once told me that many times he doesn’t tell his wife the horrible things that his ‘sheep’ do to him, say to him, and so forth. I thought this was strange. “Isn’t your wife supposed to be like your best friend, your closest confidant?”, I thought. He said, yes, but I have a responsibility to care for and protect her and, even those people that choose to become my enemies. He called it, ‘poisoning the well.’ That last thing he wanted was his wife developing a poor opinion or bitterness towards people in his care. That would not help the situation at all. She would want him out of the ministry and do God-knows what to that woman sitting six pews from the pulpit. All that being said, you want to look for a woman who is passionate about you and your household’s contribution to the greater community.

She conducts herself with wisdom and kindness. I watched a movie once about a woman that was interested in a Christian man. So interested that she tried to play like she knew Jesus when she really had no relationship with Christ at all. As things progressed, the Holy Spirit did what He does. She became more uncomfortable, the Christian guy became more aware, the faith community he was involved with helped him discern. She eventually freely confessed her deception…

Through all of this you should remain focused on your personal relationship with Christ as your most important relationship. The truth will become evident regarding your love interests, through patience and observation.

In conclusion, when you see these ten things in a woman, and it may take a little time; however, don’t mess around wasting her time or yours. I know that commiting to one woman for the remainder of your life is a HUGE step. It should not be taken lightly and you need to make sure that you have people speaking into both of your lives, helping you discern. In this article we aren’t talking about a night on the town, rather, a real man looking for a real woman, both of whom intend to walk through this very challenging, often difficult thing we call life together. The woman God is preparing to be your bride is out there...somewhere...if I were you I would start praying for her now and perhaps your paths will cross sooner rather than later.

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THEWITH VINEYARD JOE PAUL If YouPurpose Choose Gentleman’s

To Drink, Please Drink Responsibly.

Since last month I found some hidden gems out there for under $20.

Gem #1 was a 2013 Plaisir d’Eulalie Minervois that I found for around $16. This French import would pair well with beef, pasta or veal, so you’re definitely covered at that local Italian BYOB. Some nice vanilla and cherry notes. The Languedoc-Roussillon region has had better years than 2013 (2016 was the best of the past 15 years), but this 2013 was lovely, with the lesson we learn here being that if you ever see a 7 year old wine for under $20 you should at least grab one for a test run.

And that reminds me, I need to get back to that wine shop and corner the market on this one. I suggest that, as long as your not raiding the wine shops I frequent, that you might do the same if you come across a 2013 Plaisir d’Eulalie Minervois.

The real score this month was a gem mined in Portugal, a 2009 Quinta da Lapa Private Select Red .

There has been a fantastic wine revolution in Portugal over the last 20 years, and the only years from that region better than the 2009 were the 2015 and 2016.

To randomly find a 2009 in a local wine shop was a good enough score, but I paid a mere $7.50! I grabbed the last two they had and hopefully I can hold the spare for a few more years before breaking it out.

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BOOKS 44

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FOCUS ON SELLING MORE

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E AND BETTER.

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MUSIC 50

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TOP 20 CLASSIC ROCK ALBUMS WITH POET M.E.SHOE

Written by Justin Gaynor

I sat down with my friend and resident modern poet, M.E. Shoe to talk classic rock. I’m not sure how his record collection grew as it has, but it is substantial. Shoe is a humble and relatively private man, so I’m not going to get too much into his story. What we are here to talk about is classic rock. With the hundreds, maybe thousands, of records this guy owns asking him to narrow it down to 20 was a little like herding cats. In the end though, he provided a pretty awesome list and a few tid bits of trivia along the way.

So, let’s get started (BTW you can click on any of the titles to BUY IT NOW on Amazon).

1) Grandfunk Railroad - Greatest Hits, “The album is awesome. These guys had athletic, energetic shows, kick ass American rock and roll, sorry about the language.”

2) Led Zepplin - Led Zepplin II, “Robert Plant hit the scene like nothing else before, strutting like a rooster, the women went nuts for him. Jimmy page, best guitarist till Jeff Beck.”

3) Aerosmith - Get Your Wings, “(Steven Tyler) One of the best showmen. high energy shows, and he’s a piano player.”

4) Guns & Roses - Appetite for Destruction, “This is about the guitarist, Slash, best guitar player EVER!” 5) Journey - Infinity, “Started with Greg Rollie, then Steve Perny (as lead vocalist).”

6) Def Leppard - Greatest Hits, “The drummer got in a car accident ( I think it was a Corvette) had his arm hanging out the window or something, woke up in the hospital missing an arm.” He had his drum kit modified and continued his drum career ... and continued well!

7) Steely Dan - AJA “These guys were studio artists, not a touring band...musical geniuses!”

8) John Cougar Mellancamp - Greatest Hits, Classic rebel heart, surrounded himself with people, very generous.”

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9) Tom Petty - Hard Promises, “He’s a Florida boy. He came from humble beginnings.

Probably worked at Winn-Dixie or Publix, like most people who grew up here did.”

10) Van Halen - Van Halen II, “Eddie and Alex Van Halen, they came from Amsterdam, you know Dutch.”

11) Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra, “Buttery, honey voice...that’s how I describe it.”

12) Black Sabbath - Paranoid, “Often in the news, Ozzie is just a great guy though, you listen to him (in real life) and you just can’t not like the guy.”

13) Blue Oyster Cult - Specters, “Absolute strangeness. Lyrics that invite you into a science fiction psychadelic adventure. Musical geniuses.”

14) Paul McCartney - Ram, “Uncle Albert, everybody has heard that song. Former Beatle goes solo. The band broke up, but not over conflict, just tragedy and wives that didn’t get along with the whole lifestyle, tragedy and marriage.”

15) Jimmy Hendrix - Electric Lady Land, “How could we forget him? Heavy drugs and alcohol, died in Vegas...musical genius.”

16) Credence Clearwater Revival - “Yes...them too!”

17) The Who - “Pin Ball Wizard, they did the original, but then Elton John re-did it.”

18) Blondie - Heart of Glass, “Female classic rock artists, Blondie, everybody likes blondie...”

19) Eagles - Hotel California, “Joe Walsh...why are the Eagles on the list?...because of the album, just because of the album.”

20) The Doors - Hotel Morrison, “Tragic death, heavy drugs and alcohol...they were on the road, saw this (actual) hotel called Hotel Morrison and named the album that.”

I you like this article...

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MODERN POETRY

HIGHER POWER

by M.E.Shoe The gift of creativity reflects the nature of reality As a loan from a Higher Power Never stop learning Don’t ever stop searching The answer is always out there We reach for common ground At times we are turned around No clues in the midnight hour Daylight gives us fresh air to do what we dare and discover a Higher Power One Boy with born beliefs A Man with inner peace took such joy in a simple flower He never stopped learning Every day he was searching Knowing everything was everywhere The nature of reality forms its own ecstacy that is a gift from a Higher Power...

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GEAR 56

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BOYNTON BEACH DIVE CENTER

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TRAVEL 64

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A 3-day weekend in Puerto Rico may be just what you need for some adventure and relaxation. Roundtrip? Less than $150 on JetBlue.

(Make sure to check any travel restrictions that may be in place due to COVID-19) Gentleman’s Purpose

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ADVENTURE IS HAPPENING.

KEEP YOUR BALANCE IN ALL THINGS. FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE.

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Feel like staying in the United States this month?

Miami offers some great places to stay like The Copper Door B&B

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JetBlue currently has roundtrip tickets to Bali for around a thousand bucks.

Pretty reasonable.

(Make sure to check any travel restrictions that may be in place due to COVID-19)

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Gentleman’s Purpose Believes In A Better Future.

Will You Believe With Us? A Financial Gift To The Mercy Fund of Christ Church Jerusalem Will Nourish The Root of The Tree We Have Been Grafted Into.

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