Gentleman's Purpose - September 2021 Edition by Gentleman's Purpose

Gentleman’s

Purpose September 2021

Routines & Rhythms, Page 18 Contemplation & Wisdom: Essential Thomas Merton, Page 40

Discover America Tour: North East Maryland, Page 62

Let’s Get REAL Page 30

Gentleman’s Purpose Articles

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FAITH

How To Study Scripture Written by Justin Gaynor The study of writings considered to be “Holy” or set apart, special in some strange way, is something humans have done for a really long time. In this article, gentlemen, I want to share how I recommend that you study Scripture. First though, in order for us to be on the same page, I want to tell you why Judeo-Christian Scripture itself claims that it is valuable in the life of humans. A trained Jewish rabbi that became a Christian once explained to one of his protege’s that, “All Scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, for reproof, for restoration, and for training in righteousness, so that the person belonging to God may be capable, fully equipped for every good deed.” So the authority of the source of Scripture and its usefulness seemed to be important to this rabbi. The same rabbi writing to a group of Christians in Rome that were making unhelpful distinctions between Christians of a Jewish ethnicity and Christians of other ethnicities reminds them that, “whatever was written before was written for our instruction, so that through patience and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” So he reiterates the value of Scripture for basic instructions on living a fruitful life, but he also points out the psychological and emotional benefits of encouragement and hope. So, not adding anything to or taking away from these statements, lets consider how much we value and trust the source of this written material, as well as the stated benefits. Having given Scripture a position in your heart and mind that you feel appropriate based on these things, let’s look at a four step process of engaging with these ancient writings.

This approach is most likely what was utilized by the Jewish rabbi that we have been talking about. It is called PRDS. This is an acronymn that stands for: Peshat, Remez, Derash, and Sod (pronounced “sowed”). Peshat is where you look at the literal, surface meaning of a particular verse of Scripture. Example: “Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds”. What is the instruction? If you have animals that provide food, clothing, and other things for you and your household pay attention to their well-being. Seems obvious that would be in your best interest over the long-term. Remez is where you consider the hints, allegorical, or deeper meaning of the Scripture. When you are entrusted with a resource, steward it well so that it continues to multiply for your benefit. The warning being that if you are lazy and unattentive, what you do have will not last, nor will it be as beneficial as it could be while it is in your possession. Derash is where we consider the comparative meaning of the Scripture we are meditating on. Where else in Scripture do we see this concept and how does the narrative play out? In this example, we may consider King Solomon’s prayer for “wisdom to lead this great people of Yours” a prayer that apparently pleased God. Israel’s king was considering his need for God’s assistance in “knowing” and “giving attention” to this group of people God has called His own and entrusted to Solomon. Sod is what is the actual wisdom, or revelatory meaning of this verse. In meditating on how to actually apply this verse to your life. You may have the image of a gallon of milk flash in front of your mind’s eye, so you pick up an extra gallon of milk on your way home. When you pull into your driveway, there is a Uhaul across the street and a young single mom, obviously stressed out, is holding a baby with her other three kids running round the yard as she is trying to move in. You suddenly feel an unction to offer the milk to her. So, you walk over and introduce yourself, she just starts crying and tells you she’s honestly exhausted and still has to go to the store once these guys are finished, to get some milk. You explain to her that you actually purchased an extra gallon of milk on the way home and ask her if she would like to have it. She gratefully accepts and you go and get the milk from your car for her in the name of Jesus...because you didn’t do that, God did. That is PRDS.

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Relationships

Routines and Rhythms Written by Justin Gaynor

Gentlemen! I hope all is well. We often talk about the value of communication as you are growing in relationship with your lady. This month though, I want to talk a little about routine and rhythm as it relates to building a strong relationship. Personally, I love spontaneity in a lot of situations. That does not mean that I don’t also value stability, the comfort of knowing, and security. In my experience, the women that I have been in long-term relationships with value the latter far more that the spontaneity, once the relationship moves beyond a certain point. Exciting and novel dates are wonderful early on, but once you are a fixture in her life those spontaneous, crazy, sexy things she used to love about you can become stressful and annoying. It is your responsibility to gauge these things and walk appropriately. I recommend a shit-load of prayer when it comes to getting this right and offer the cold-hard truth that you will fail occasionally, and that’s ok. Love her anyway, and don’t beat yourself up about it. Just dust yourself off and do the next right thing, whatever that is. A routine is a regular sequence of actions that you engage in. You wake up, you pee, you take a shower and brush your teeth, you drink a cup of coffee and eat a bagel with lox...yada, yada, yada. Some people’s routines are far more complicated than others. Some people respond or react more dramatically than others when their routine gets messed up. Many times, because the routine is so regular you go on auto-pilot and don’t really know how much of drama queen you can actually be until life throws you a curveball. 18

Know thyself, and to thine own self be true. You want to know what you value with regard to routine, because you are going to need to be able to help your girl understand that. Then, you are going to need to explore and understand where she is with these things. As you grow together, communication should get better and better as your seperate routines begin to overlap more and more into a relatively singular routine, far more so than what you are currently used to as a single person anyway. Then there are these things that I have heard defined as, “the unforced rhythms of God’s grace”. You and your woman do not live in your own world, you don’t exist in a vacuum, as much as it may feel that way when you are head over heels in love. You still exist within a world where the Spirit of God is moving and shaping people and communities and nations. Your love story is a sub-plot in that larger story and there will be situations and people and events that will infringe on your well-oiled machine of a relationship. That also, is ok. God knows what He is doing. Hold more loosely to the routine and embrace the rhythm. How the two of you respond, individually and as a couple will matter. Without hesitation or equivocation, having a personal prayer life and a prayer life together are the most important factors in your being able to experience the greatest blessing from how your routines and His rhythms work together. That being said, may all of your routines be helpful and practical, all of the unforced rhythms of His grace be insightful, awe-inspiring and transformative, and may you and your beloved always love each other well.

Style

A gentleman’s barber often becomes a close confidant. Your choice of style can express where you are and what you value. It can say something to the world without you even opening your mouth. It can also, often, be misinterpreted, and that is ok too..

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Business

Let’s Get Real... Written by Justin Gaynor I’m taking a break from exploring CRM this month. Why? Because I have ventured into a new sphere of business. After 14 years in Banking and Finance, mostly dealing in stocks, option contracts, mutual funds, bonds and those types of securities I’ve recently switched gears. I suppose this makes sense. As a boy, my uncle and mom had me fascinated with hospitality. My uncle, whom I believe to be the first American born of his brothers, worked for a large hotel flag, and my mom, alongside her family, were strongly engaged in the restaurant business. As I have observed these two through the years I have seen the areas of what they do that really made them money, and the areas that, in my humble opinion, may have been more trouble than they were worth. In the final analysis though, it has been the real estate they invested in that yielded the most certain and significant return on investment. Now that may seem sort of an obvious thing to say seeing as we have had an unprecedented period of extremely low interest rates and a sellers market that has been unmatched for decades, if not centuries. So I decided to go ahead and obtain my license to deal in real estate in the state of Florida. The process of obtaining a real estate license is not difficult, but it does require a significant commitment of money and time. Nothing that can’t easily be recovered within the first year of doing business, but still significant. I started where anyone would I guess. Googling things. I discovered that before you can start helping people buy and sell property, you have to be licensed, otherwise they could throw you in the clank for a third degree felony! So, what was this adventure going to look like? 30

As a child, I was once asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. My response was blunt and unhesitantly offered, “I want to be a millionaire.” I wasn’t all that concerned with how I was to obtain that status, certainly in a legal and reputable way. I’ve never been much of a scallywag, and those that I know who have been, were never really all that good at it. Once you’ve been to jail 3 or 4 times, one might consider the fact that you simply aren’t very good at being a criminal. So, I kept myself, relatively speaking, on the straight and narrow path. Going the way of the hospitality industry ended abruptly for me about six months into university. During that season, I would return home from South Florida to Central Florida occasionaly and still be called upon to work in my family restaurant on the weekends I was home. I soon realized that this was not what I wanted to invest the rest of my professional life doing. So I changed my major to banking and finance (not that it got me out of washing dishes and waiting tables...yet). Soon I purchased my first piece of real estate at 19 years of age along with my high school sweetheart who moved to South Florida to be with me. I landed an internship with a reputable financial firm and began building a career in banking and finance, as previously mentioned. What never really occured to me until recently is that beginning in real estate with the purchase of my first townhome off of Village Blvd. in West Palm Beach with less than $2k out of pocket, we cleared more than $22,000 after the 3 years that we owned that property (as a place to live while I was at university). That far exceeded the net total that I earned actively trading in the stock market during that same period and starting with $11k out of pocket! So, now I am Googling what it takes to sell real estate in Florida...the journey begins with one step, investing in a 63-hour pre-licensing class that prepares you for a state exam. There is a lot more to it, but that’s where every real estate professional in Florida has to start. You will need to be fingerprinted, and pass an FBI background check and a host of other things. However, so far, I have met some really great people and have thoroughly enjoyed learning more about this topic (I can be nerd about certain things, if you haven’t figured that out yet). We are going to get back into CRM soon, because from what I understand this particular industry is on the bleeding edge of CRM utilization and development.

Dining

Snatcher’s Creekside 510 South Main Street, North East, MD 21901

410-656-7045

A Review by Justin Gaynor Snatcher’s Creekside was the first restaurant that I dined in while in North East. I would return there a few times during my stay for the classic Maryland cuisine...if that tells you anything of how I enjoyed the food and atmosphere. First impressions are important. My Aunt Paula and I decided to sit on the outside patio, next to the creek. The sound of running water and the cool, shaded seating was perfect for an afternoon lunch and cocktail. They have a signature handcrafted cocktail called an “Orange Crush”. Being from Florida, I was naturally interested in how a restaurant in Maryland was handling one of our top exports. The restaurant’s name is derived from the local birds of prey that you can often observe spearfishing with their sharp beaks and “snatching” fish from the creeks. They had a great assortment of locally brewed craft beers, which if you’ve been reading Gentleman’s Purpose for any length of time, you know I enjoy and have a great respect for. Of course, they also had Killian’s Irish Red in stock which is a “go to” for me...when restaurants actually carry it. As regards my favorite meal. Definitely the Maryland style crab cakes with grilled brussel sprouts and baked potato. It was the perfect portion for lunch and had some amazingly tasty, unique flavors. The restauraunt itself was clean, bright, and nautically whimsical. The service was timely and the prices are quite reasonable. Tourism isn’t a huge thing for North East, so there wasn’t the level of price gouging we often experience in Florida, and almost everyone is a local. We had a great conversation with the table next to us because my aunt and uncle knew them. All in all, Downtown North East, Maryland would be a great place for a very relaxing three day weekend and while in town, definitely give Snatcher’s Creekside a try! 38

Books

Recommended A Library For September 2021

Additions To Your 1: Essential Thomas Merton

Music

RELENTLESS BAND

www.RelentlessRocks.com

Relentless At The Old Key Lime House Written by Justin Gaynor I was recently in South Florida for some business and I took the opportunity to connect with some old friends. We don’t get to hang out as much as we used to now that I’m in New Smyrna Beach most of the time. However, we were able to meet up at the Old Key Lime House. I have shared meals with so many people that I love at this place through the years and done quite a lot of writing sitting at the bar on a lazy afternoon, with an old fashioned or ice cold beer in hand. Music has been at the heart of the place for as long as I can remember. My friends and I had a special treat this Saturday night though. Relentless Band was on stage playing a sonic tidal wave of great music. One of the gals with me grew up with a dad that is a commited musician and has been around the music scene her whole life. She is way more adept at understanding what is going on with the various instruments and the dynamic of the band than I am. She’s just developed an eye and an ear for it through the years. She was absolutely raving at how the bass player was holding it down, the vocalist was hitting every note and still bringing some serious grit, and the guitarist was just wailing. These musicians know what they are doing, according to her. I thoroughly enjoyed it and after we had some delicious appetizers and a few refreshing adult beverages it was time to hit the dance floor. What started with just one or two brave females eventually brought our whole table and quite a few others forward. I personally haven’t gotten to dance like that in a while, but with COVID and all this Social Distancing it was so much fun to just be normal humans again for a while. Click on the link located on page 48 to learn more about Relentless Band and to see what venue they will be rocking next. It’s a great show with truly talented musicians. 51

Gear

Why So Crabby? Written by Justin Gaynor

While growing up fishing on Lake George with my Grandpa Morgan included setting crab traps to harvest blue crabs, it’s been years since I’ve enjoyed hunting and trapping these tasty little treats. My recent visit to North East Maryland has had me thinking a lot more about the low cost to get involved with harvesting crab again. It really doesn’t take a lot of effort or gear, which, with my busy schedule, I could use a hobby with that type of return on investment. A basic crab trap kit like this will run you about $50 or $60. Obviously, the more traps you put out there the more your harvest will be, if you are using good bait of course. There are lower cost options. For instance we just used an old empty gallon milk bottle with the cap on it as the float and wrote our name on it with a sharpie marker. Grandpa Morgan made the trap itself from chicken wire. You can get a 4’x50’ roll of that for less than $25 at the hardware store. This is the low-country way to feed your family on the cheap with all of the rewards of being the “hunter-gatherer” type.

One of the best things about crabbing is getting to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Whether you are biting into some tender Maryland-style Crabcakes or having a good ol’ fashioned blue crab boil, having the right tools can make your experience all the more enjoyable. This high-quality crab and lobster tool set is a perfect addition to your collection of gear. Priced at around $80. 57 Please Drink Responsibly

When handling crustaceans it’s easy to get poked and pinched. A good set of gloves can save you some annoying wounds. This set is actually made for lobstering and spearfishing, but can certainly double for use in handling your crab harvest. A pair like this goes for around $40.

Travel

Discover America Tour: North East, Maryland Written by Justin Gaynor

After leaving Richmond Virginia on the Gentleman’s Purpose Discover America Tour, I was headed to North East, Maryland. I passed through Washington, DC very briefly on the way though. It was insanely busy and many of the typical sites were under increased security if they were open at all. I had previously visited our nations capital and enjoyed the various monuments and rich history, so I picked up some snacks and ice for my cooler, drove past a few places and dove into rush hour traffic out of DC and on into Maryland. Now, my destination was one that had been long awaited. As a young man, and I’ve mentioned this in previous articles, my aunts would often visit us in Daytona Beach for Bike Week, the Daytona 500, and other major events. However, in all my years, I had never traveled to visit my Aunt Paula. She has lived in the same place for all those years. She, along with my Uncle Ronnie, operated an automobile repair shop in the small nautical town of North East, MD. Their two daughters, my cousins Caitlyn and Chandis, also live in town. I had not seen them since they were about the age of their kiddos now. Pictured to the left here, we have Caitlyn’s two sons. They are a couple of characters for sure. It was really wonderful getting a chance to spend time with them. How often do you get time to invest in the lives of relatives that are a little further removed from your nuclear family? Not often enough I would reckon. Perhaps it would be a good idea to make that a priority. At least consider it. I found it to be very rewarding. When I arrived, I was welcomed in with open arms and quite honestly, it felt like coming home. Their home life is something similar to what I imagine my family’s would have been like if the whole thing had not fallen apart while I was away at university and would have had a family home to return to afterward. It was a very active home. Always people coming and going. Friends and neighbors stopping in several times a day to visit. A house that feels like a home, and a home away from home for many. That’s the kind of hospitality focused environment I was raised in. When you consider how you and the members of your immediate family, as well as friends and neighbors, experience your home, what types of feelings and emotions does it evoke? That’s the question I began wrestling with.

We often don’t understand the level of impact we can have on someone even when the interactions are brief. Many of us have those experiences with distant relatives that were like a very tiny seed that was planted in our lives, but significantly impacted us. It is good, gentleman, to consider how we affect the atmoshpere and dynamic in such moments of interaction. We should be intentional about positively impacting every situation we step into in one way or another. Of course, from a faith perspective, this comes from more freely allowing the Holy Spirit to flow through us and into the live of those that we get the opportunity to be a part of. While spending time with each individual family member in North East, I learned new things, got clarity on family dynamics that I was only vaguely familiar with, and found genuine friendship within familial relationships that I had been missing. There is a tremendous amount of value in that. We travel to grow and in growing we become stronger, and more fruitful human beings. There will be difficulties and challenges, but it’s worth it.

Of course, with North East, MD being just a short drive to Langford, PA, I couldn’t resist the chance to visit my old college roommate at his world famous steak joint. Jay’s Steak and Hoagie Joint is out there changing the world one cheesesteak at a time. Jason Green, we always called him Muntz...a reference to a character from a popular show called 90210, has always been a great guy. Armed with an education in business and a passion for delicious food, he works towards ending unnecessary hunger in his community providing fresh fruits, meats, and vegetables to local food banks, he also has a food truck where he holds community nights to assist in fundraising for various local non-profits and clubs. Did I mention the actual cheesesteaks yet? My aunt decided to accompany me on this day trip. We arrived to Jay’s Joint and the place was packed in the middle of the afternoon. I went up to the window and asked for Jay. The girl working didn’t know me from Adam, so she’s just like, “He’s not here.” I almost fell over, the roomate I

remember was a workoholic, and usually if the doors were open, he was there. Time and experience apparently leads all of us to value balance in our lives a little more. “Well, I’m his old college roomate, and I’ve traveled from Florida. I’d like to see him and have a cheesesteak.”, I said to the young lady. She responded,”Oh, ok, do you want his phone number?” So, I got him on the horn... Justin: “Aye, where are are you?” Jason: “I’m at home, why?” Justin: “This is Justin Gaynor, I’m trying to get a cheesesteak at your store. Where are you?” Jason: “Shut the fuck up! I’m at the house, like ten minutes away, I’ll be right there!” And after not seeing each other for more than a decade, that’s how we reconnected. Like nothing ever happened and time and space didn’t really matter all that much. Some friendships are like that. You value the other person, you love them, and you would be there for them at the drop of a dime when it came down to it. We are those guys.

After a great visit with Jason, and a tasty steak with a toasted pretzel roll smeared with Guiness Beer-Infused Kraft Philadelphia Cream Cheese, Steak, and Fried Onions...WOW!!!..I was back in the small town of North East. Exploring their downtown area was a lot of fun. My aunt and I stopped in for lunch at Snatchers Creekside (see the DINING section on page 36), but there are so many other great restaurants, pubs, and stores in downtown as well. It really is a wonderful place to spend a Saturday shopping, wine tasting, and eating. So, if you are ever in Maryland, invest a day or two in North East. More importantly though, where do your distant relatives and friends live? Has it been ten, twenty years? Plan a trip, love on your people and let them love on you. We aren’t promised tomorrow and while faith and hope are vital, love is the greatest of these three.