GENTS Mag October 2016

OC

BISHOP ALLEN

CELEBRATING OUR GENTLEMAN OF THE YEAR & LGBTQ COMMUNITY LEADERS

Groom

INSIDE THE HOUSE OF

GENTS MAG

human

EXPERIENCE

Black and Transgender During The Harlem Renaissance 1

A Message from UPS UPS is proud to be a Major Sponsor of the Gentlemen Foundation’s 5th Annual Gentlemen’s Ball. This event celebrates the many accomplishments of gay, bisexual and transgendered men who have significantly contributed to enhancing the quality of life of the minority LGBTQ community and who have demonstrated a commitment to social change.

Antonio Williams, Regional Community Relations Official, has consecutively attended the Gentlemen’s Ball for three years. During this time, he has seen the positive impact that the work of the organization has made in the Atlanta metropolitan area and beyond, becoming a beacon of light for underserved communities.

“I felt that this was a great opportunity to ‘step up’ and support the Gentlemen’s Foundation,” said Williams. “The organization demonstrates our core values and commitment to diversity.”

UPS connects and empowers our employees, customers, suppliers and communities for success, embracing the dynamics of different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives to propel its growth and innovation.

Thank you to the Gentlemen’s Foundation for allowing UPS to be a part of their important work to transform the minority LGBTQ community. Congratulations to Juan and Gee on another successful event and we look forward to continuing our partnership with the Gentlemen’s Foundation.

Antonio Williams, Regional Community Relations Official United Parcel Service

FOUNDERS LETTER 2016 has been a momentous year for The Gentlemen’s Foundation. This issue marks

the

two-year

anniversary

of

GENTS Mag, The Gentlemen’s Ball turns a whopping five-years-old, our 2nd Annual Men’s Health & Wellness Fair was a huge success, the Circle of Trust Support Group has been impactful in transforming lives, and we’ve recently welcomed our new Chairman of the Board, Amistad Adolph St. Arromand, to the fold. Yes, this year we’ve experienced many successes and many challenges, and as a result, many changes. A lot has been going on and

Photo by Carlos Jones

there’s a lot more in store. How exciting!

When considering the theme for this year’s

with survival, the need to foster a new

for justice understand that only we can

Gentlemen’s

accompanying

cultural collective-self paramount to

change the definition of what it means

issue of the magazine, we considered

that survival. What better way is there

to be a GBTQ gentleman of color. It is

vital movements in African-American

to that than through celebration?

not only our right, but our responsibility

Ball

and

to uplift our community so that others

and gay history that would provide the perfect backdrop for our own historic

We can never celebrate ourselves

cannot continue to push us down. The

gentlemen’s movement that began five

enough! There is no such thing as

only way to do that is to continue to

years ago. Pivotal eras such as the Civil

giving too much praise, too much

move in love and positivity—in EVERY

Rights movement and the Stonewall Riots

honor, too much gratitude. In a world

interaction, in ALL THAT WE DO.

were discussed, but no conversation

full of fear and negativity, it is our

would be complete without a dialogue

intention to spread as much love and

While the work we do is truly a labor of

of the Harlem Renaissance, a cultural,

positivity as we can. It is that intention

love, fueled by the joy we experience

social, and artistic explosion that took

that gave us the strength to make it to

from sharing positive images and

place during the 1920’s and 1930’s, that

this milestone anniversary, it is that

stories of who we are as a people, we

was just as gay as it was black. Bulls-eye!

intention that will usher us to the next,

know that it would not be possible

and it is that intention that is shared by

without you. For that, we offer a million

While exploring the era, from the

our dynamic group of honorees. True

Thank You’s and our sincerest gratitude!

fashions and the music, to the prose and

Gentlemen such as Darian Aaron, Devin

If there is one thing that we hope

the art, we immediately noticed that the

Barrington Ward, Neo Sandja, and Milan

resonates with your spirit after you’ve

artistic prowess and resilience of icons

Christopher are just a handful of men in

turned the last page of this magazine,

of the Harlem Renaissance movement

our community, along with allies such

it is that love heals all. Do you believe

was reflected in the soul-stirring works

as Senator Vincent Fort, who continue

that? We surely hope so.

of their modern-day counterparts; both

to dispel the stereotypes that are often

born of a time where identity is congruent

fearfully assigned to us. These soldiers

GENTS MAG

Love you all,

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OUR MISSION The Gentlemen’s Foundation, Inc.’s (TGF) mission is to promote the holistic development of Gay, Bisexual and Transgender men of color by celebrating positive, diverse images of the aforementioned gentlemen and by encouraging healthy dialogue on issues that contribute to individual wellness and growth, thereby having a residual positive impact on our communities.

@thegentlemensfoundation

@gentsfoundation

#BETHECHANGE The Gentlemen’s Foundation, Inc. envisions a community where all Gay, Bisexual and Transgender men of color are empowered to demonstrate his dedication to community-building by pledging his time, efforts, and monetary giving to the wellness of self and others. We affectionately call this a “True Gentleman”. He is: CONFIDENT IN SELF + GENEROUS IN GIVING + PROUD TO STAND TALL IN HIS TRUTH.

CIRCLE OF TRUST

MEN’S HEALTH & WELLNSS FAIR

SCHOLARSHIPS The Gentlemen’s Foundation will award 5 - $1000 scholarships

The Circle of Trust is TGF’s Mental Health Initiative that offers

Held annually in June - National Men’s Health Month, The

a safe and affirming space for Gentlemen to speak freely about

Men’s Health & Wellness Fair seeks to provide awareness,

the issues that negatively impact their life – thus beginning the

education, and complimentary medical services to Gay,

healing process. This is accomplished through bi-monthly

Bisexual, and Transgender men of color and their allies to help

therapist-led discussions, the exchange of information,

empower them to make better life choices and improve their

quarterly webinars, advocacy, peer consultation & motivation

overall quality of life.

to deserving students, reinforcing our commitment to holistic development.

Our 5 Pillars: LEADERSHIP ABILITY, EDUCATION, SOCIAL GROWTH SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENMENT, and PHILANTHROPY

and themed conference calls.

Text “GENTS” to 41444 to DONATE today!

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GENTS MAG

GENTS MAG is a wholly owned subsidiary of The Gentlemen’s Foundation, Inc.

MEMBERS

BOARD OF DIRECTORS Juan Smalls CO-FOUNDER

Ahmad Abercrombie

Damian Knox

Tyrone Alexander

Thaddeus “Ivory” Lancaster

Gee Smalls CO-FOUNDER

Jamie Allen

Jason “CJ” Lewis

Antoine Bates

Alfonza Lewis

Howard Blackwell-Turner

Nelson Little

Dorsel Blackwell-Turner

Justin Martin

Lawrence Bryant

Obiora Mbachu

Thomas Burke

Joshua Mcnair

Jarrod Burton

Kenneth Merriman

Devin Campbell

Canaan Parrot

Damien Denson

Stevie Pate

John Ebron

Ladonnis Perry

Rodney Fears

Deandre Pickett

Frank Fenner

Dirk Smith

Tao Finklea

Jason Strong

Ryan Girley

Bobby Thomas

Andre Harrison

Dwayne Wells

Amistad Adolph St. Arromand CHAIRMAN Lentheus Chaney EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Dexter Taylor TREASURER Javier Brown SECRETARY Jerome Wilson DIRECTOR OF TECHNOLOGY

ADVISORY BOARD Jason Brooks CORPORATE LIASON

Adrian Hogan

Steven Hollowell STRATEGIC PLANNING + LOGISTICS Jon Diggs HEALTH & WELLNESS ADVISOR

©2016 The Gentlemen’s Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used or reproduced without the written permission of the publisher The Gentlemen’s Foundation. The views expressed in GENTS Mag are those of the respective contributors and are not necessarily shared by the magazine or its staff. The registered office of The Gentlemen’s Foundation is 270 17th Street NW Suite #3508 Atlanta, GA 30363. All information contained in the magazine is for information only and is as far as we are aware, correct at the time of going to press. The Gentlemen’s Foundation cannot accept any responsibility for errors or inaccuracies in such format. Readers are advised to contact manufactures and retailers directly with regard to the price of products/services referred to in this magazine. If you submit unsolicited material to us, you automatically grant The Gentlemen’s Foundation a license to publish your submission in whole, or in part, in all editions of the magazine, including licensed editions worldwide and in any physical or digital format throughout the world. Any material you submit is sent at your risk and, although every care is taken, neither The Gentlemen’s Foundation nor its employees, agents or subcontractors shall be liable for loss or damage.

GENTS MAG Published once a year by The Gentlemen’s Foundation, Inc 270 17th Street NW Suite #3508 Atlanta, GA 30363

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1: RYAN R. GIRLEY There is one common thread that unites many across humanity. This thread transcends race, creed, sexuality, culture and socio-economic status. The common thread of all humanity, is our collective ability to dream, and to know that we are all called to something greater than ourselves. Ryan R. Girley views his life and the lives of others as a kaleidoscope. Ryan’s, life like the lives of many others is filled with dreams, goals, gifts, good times, and bad, victories and defeats. Ryan finds great joy in using his spirituality, unique talents for writing, singing and encouraging others to help them live their best life!

5: JUSTIN L. MARTIN Justin L. Martin is founder/CEO of Martin Company, a firm that specializes in graphic design, photography, and event planning. Born and raised in Atlanta, GA, he attended Jacksonville State University where he studied graphic Design. His target audience is “every man” - the common man who is seemingly starting from nothing, but holds a vision towards a grander something. Justin Martin and The Martin Company offers a fresh eyes review coupled with an acute focus on branding and consulting which helps every client’s vision come to life.

9: DIRK SMITH Dirk’s life’s purpose is to coach business professionals in all aspects of managing their career. As a Professional Career Coach & Registered Corporate Coach for 15-years, he understands the recruiting and hiring process from the decision maker’s perspective which results in offering guidance looking through the lens of the decision-makers versus the individual. @AGentleman955

2: JON DIGGS, LPC Jon Diggs, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor with the state of Georgia. He provides therapy for adolescents, adults, couples and families. He has treated clients coping with grief, trauma, depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, domestic violence, high risk sexual behaviors, LGBTQ issues and substance abuse. Also, clients navigating sexual abuse, sexual identity and end of life transition. His approach to therapy is influenced by Cornel West’s use of the term Paideia. “Paideia concerns the cultivation of self, the ways you engage your own history, your own memories, your own mortality, your own sense of what it means to be alive as a critical, loving, aware human being.”

6: ANTOINE BATES Antoine Bates is a native of Flint, MI, which led to his humble start in creating safe spaces for the African American LGBTQ Community across the United States, including Chicago, Atlanta and New York City over the past ten years. His passion for raising awareness around sexuality, HIV/AIDS has led him to be a part of numerous organizations such as Lambda Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc., Chicago Black Gay Men’s Caucus, Morehouse Safe Space and numerous others. He enjoys the fine arts; both watching and being apart of them as evidenced by his participation in the ambient cast for the “Dingalogues”, and recurring roles in the web series “Street Behavior” Season 2.

10: NICHOLAS MAYBERRY Nicholas Mayberry, co-founder of ND Lifestyle and Entertainment Group, began his culinary journey at a very young age. It was his mother who sparked his love for food and taught him the basics of cooking.

Six years ago he and his partner decided to develop a Full Service Concierge Firm. The firm’s catalog includes everything from small dinners for two up to large, full scale weddings. In 2014, they introduced private chef services and weekly meal preparation to the umbrella of services. The private chef focus is to provide clients with healthier meal options that are globally inspired and packed with flavor.

3: HOLIDAY SIMMONS Holiday Simmons, MSW is a Black Cherokee transmasculine two-spirit activist, athlete, and lover of babies, soccer, and the ocean. He has a background in Social Work, Education, and Performing Arts & Activism. Holiday is one of the founding members of the Southeast Two-Spirit Collective, and he is the Director of Community Education and Advocacy at Lambda Legal, the oldest and largest national legal organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of LGBT people and people with HIV. At Lambda Legal he focuses on transgender rights, dismantling the school-to-prison pipeline, police misconduct, and amplifying the voices of LGBT Native Americans and two-spirit people.

7: LONNELL WILLIAMS Through the power of the Internet, Lonnell Williams, establish himself as an important and influential force in the world of social media. As host and producer of the popular web series, 3LWTV, Lonnell initially came to prominence in the African American LGBT community by committing to showcase positive images of a people often marginalized or ignored by mainstream media. One of Lonnell’s most visible relationships is with media mogul Oprah Winfrey, who he befriended a few years ago via Twitter. In a continued effort to learn, teach and inspire, Lonnell continues to explore new opportunities and use his life to demonstrate a tag-line his supporters have come to adore....”Stand In Your Light.”

11: DORSEL BLACKWELL-TURNER Dorsel Blackwell-Turner is an active member of The Gentlemen’s Foundation. He is a results driven business entrepreneur and consultant.

His background credentials range from a MBA in Finance, and a host of supportive certifications such as: PMP, CSM, ITIL, and Lean Six Sigma Green Belt.

He is currently Project Management Director for the state of Georgia. He enjoys making a difference in the lives of others, and spending time with his partner Howard Blackwell-Turner and their 22 year old daughter.

4: QUESHAN HAYES Queshan “QSOLOMON” Hayes is a native of Dillon, South Carolina. He attended college in Greenville SC at Furman University where he studied journalism and writing. He later found his way to Atlanta Georgia where he soon became an employee of Delta Air Lines. He currently balances that career with his passions of writing, acting and traveling. He has authored two books: “Door 655” and a book of poems entitled “Whispers In the Wind”. He is a member of the Vision Cathedral where Bishop O.C. Allen presides. There he has assisted with the Arts Ministry. He has appeared in many local plays, independent films and other national ads. When asked what he wants most out of life, his response will always be: “To be happy!”

8: LEE P. JONES Lee P. Jones is a photographer, writer and minister based in the Atlanta area. His writings have been published in such varied periodicals such as Jump Cut: A Review of Contemporary Media, Urban Lux Mag, Clique and other books and publications. His photographs appear in magazines and textbooks and in the homes of enthusiasts across the country. His work can be seen at leepjonesphotography.com.

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CONTENT

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HUMAN EXPERIENCE

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TGF 2016 HONOREES

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THE 7-YEAR STRETCH

Black and Transgender During The Harlem Reniassiance

Celebrating our LGBTQ heroes and community leaders.

A list of 7 things that we know for sure after making it through our very own “7-year stretch.”

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VINTAGE SCENTS OF THE PAST Even during the Harlem Renaissance, fragrance played an important role in male and female sensuality.

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STAND IN YOUR LIGHT

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GENTS TRAVEL! XSCAPE PR

Appreciate the immense value you bring to the world.

Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

This amazing 21st century destination event caters to professional gay men and women of color and the people who support them.

GENTS MAG

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RENAISSANCE CUSINE Fried catfish over a bed of garlc and chive mashed potatoes topped with cajun crawfish sauce.

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SHUFFLE ALONG

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BLENDED FAMILIES

“Shuffle Along” was the first black musical on off Broadway that commanded a sold out audience.

A dialogue between a gay African American husband, father and a psychotherapist specializing in LGBTQ issues.

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INSIDE THE HOUSE OF GROOM

OC ALLEN GENTLEMAN OF THE YEAR

READING ROOM

There’s a new ‘It Couple’ on the fashion scene and they invite you to GET GROOMED!

Bishop OC Allen is much more than a leader, he is a trailblazer who seeks to holistically address the spiritual needs of the LGBTQ community.

EDITOR’S NOTE

Today, the literary spirit of Hughes lives on within the words and works of gay African American artist.

It’s hard to believe that during the

In this 2016 Gentlemen’s Ball issue of

Harlem Renaissance there lived a group

GENTS Mag, not only do we celebrate

of people who believed and engaged in

our LGBTQ community leaders of today

loving one another regardless of social

but we also embrace the spirit of The

scrutiny or judgment.

Harlem Renaissance with stories that remind us of the remarkable LGBTQ

What we identify as the gay community of today, back then was more like a small circle of friends, influencers and artists who shaped the landscape of black literature, dance and music as we Photography by JUSTIN MARTIN

now know it.

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heroes of that era.

Thank you for taking this special journey with us.

Regards,

Lentheus Chaney 9

HUMAN EXPERIENCE Black and Transgender During the Harlem Renaissance Story by Holiday Simmons

The 1930’s and 40’s were a period of relocation for thousands of Black people from the south northward to urban hubs of the midwest and the north. As agricultural labor shifted to that of industrial demands, people who were field hands and domestic servants for small family-owned businesses took

...the legal segregation in housing, schools and public accomodations was traded for covert discrimination practices like zoning, red-lining, upside down loans and race-based tactics. ...

on jobs as factory workers and janitorial staff at hospitals, universities and large companies.

In the northern and midwestern cities, the legal segregation in housing, schools and public accommodations was traded for covert discrimination practices like zoning, red-lining, upside down loans and race-based tactics. Work songs, revivals and juke joints continued on and transformed into the “Chitlin’ Circuit”, vaudeville acts, and emerging big bands.

Many of our leading literaries, musicians and artists that thrived during the Harlem Renaissance era would now be referred to as Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual (LGB) or same gender-loving.

Photo by Carlos Jones

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Thank you for your binding, your busting, your bustling, your bravery and for surviving so that we may thrive.

Photo by Carlos Jones This hodgepodge of the northern

likes of someone like me during our

on these selves to go to work and threw

migration, wage labor shift work,

esteemed “Harlem Renaissance” period.

on another self when coming home.

Perhaps they may have transformed

clandestine economics, race riots and a burgeoning entertainment industry

While our “trancestors” may not have

their lives entirely to mold to their most

birthed an improvisation, queerness and

had the media representation, gender

safe and authentic self.

playful risk-taking that Black folks in

creative language/alphabet soup,

America were ripe and ready for.

location-specific legal protections or the

Although today we may have more

medical innovations that we have today,

visibility and legal protections in

Many of our leading literaries, musicians

their negotiations around authenticity

some areas, we are still fighting the

and artists that thrived during the

and safety must have been rich. Moving

criminalization of our existence in

Harlem Renaissance era would now be

north to a new city must have provided

laws like North Carolina’s HB2 and

referred to as Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual

opportunities for people to redefine

with the ever-growing murder rate

(LGB) or same gender-loving. Included in

themselves. Playing various gendered

of Black trans women. The statistics

this elite group were writers and artists

characters in vaudeville, blues and jazz

for Black trans people are sobering

like James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston,

shows must have opened a door of

when it comes to almost every facet of

Billie Holiday and Bessie Smith.

body, clothing and identity possibilities.

life such as healthcare, employment,

Working for large companies rather than

suicide, homicide from known assailants,

When it comes to the presence of

small businesses must have provided

police violence and a plethora of other

transgender (trans), or gender non-

a level of anonymity that could secure

indicators.

conforming (GNC) people during this

more safety and survival.

Perhaps what unites us most to our trans

time period we can mostly only imagine and surmise. Monica Roberts, trans

An explosion of art and entertainment

siblings of yesteryear is our remarkable

historian and author of “Trans Griot”

must have encouraged a level of

resilience and our profound ability

blog, documents a few of these stories.

improvisation and play that could be

to make do, get through, be creative

a safe veil for more authentic gender

and offer the rest of the world rich

The current presence of trans elders

expression. Consider the transwoman

possibilities of what it means to be

and activists, Cheryl Courtney Evans

who was the fabric weaver operator at

human and malleable.

and Miss Major, is evidence that such

the mattress factory, or the transman

gender warriors were around. We’ve

who was the bass player in a Chicago

Mostly we are grateful and humble

always been around. However, in the

blues band, or the gender non-

to the “trancestors” of the Harlem

absence of strong written or oral history

conforming person who washed the

Renaissance. Thank you for your binding,

of Black trans people during the Harlem

trains and drank with the Pullman

your busting, your bustling, your bravery

Renaissance, we can only imagine what

Porters at Grand Central Station. We

and for surviving so that we may thrive.

the life would have been like for the

can only imagine that they either put

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TAKE A BOW GENTLEMEN’S BALL ATLANTA Your amazing dedication to the gay, bisexual and transgender men of color in our community makes such a positive impact on our city.

Thanks for your unwavering support!

#NORDSTROMATL

VINTAGE SCENTS OF THE PAST Story by Lentheus Chaney

Even during the Harlem Renaissance, fragrance played an important role in male and female sensuality. Considered a true luxury during that era, these unique fragrances, or at best their antique bottles, can still be found today for sale or at auction.

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Acqua Di Parma Profumo: An exclusive fragrance created for women in the 1930s. More than 300 ingredients go into the making of this refined natural bouquet, including three different varieties of jasmine, the exotic fragrance of ylang ylang, the Florentine iris and the May rose. The bottle and elegant packaging are hand made by skilled craftsmen - for the woman with just the hint of vanity.

Canoe for Men by Dana is a Aromatic Fougere fragrance for men. Canoe for Men was launched in 1936. The nose behind this fragrance is Jean Carles. Top notes are lavender, clary sage and lemon; middle notes are carnation, patchouli, bourbon geranium, cedar and cloves; base notes are tonka bean, vanilla, oakmoss, heliotrope and musk.

Coque d’Or is a perfume from Guerlain launched back in 1937. It was developed by Jacques Guerlain. The fragrance contains classic chypre and oriental tones. It opens with peach and citruses including orange, with the heart of flowers of iris, carnation, clove, rose and violet, and the base of oak moss, sandalwood, leather, amber and labdanum.

Eau de Voyage by Louis Vuitton was launched in 1946. At that time Louis Vuitton was inspired by nature. Flowers, woods and exoticism was part of the olfactory adventure and each fragrance was created as a travel invitation to somewhere else. Travel was a luxury experience and food for the soul.

1930

1936

1937

1946

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Renaissance Cuisine

Story by Nicholas Mayberry

CAJUN CATFISH INGREDIENTS

CRAWFISH SAUCE

3 large eggs

1 lb crawfish tails

1 cup buttermilk

1 tablespoon minced garlic

2 teaspoon old bay

1/4 cup green onions

1 teaspoon paprika

2 tablespoon shallots

1 teaspoon cumin

1 tablespoon hot sauce

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 tablespoon worcestershire

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

sauce

2 teaspoon lemon pepper

2 teaspoon creole seasoning

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon pepper

1 cups of plain flour

1 teaspoon pepper

2 cup plain yellow cornmeal

1 teaspoon thyme

4 lbs of catfish fillets & Canola

1 teaspoon paprika

oil for frying

1 tablespoon olive oil 1 tablespoon butter

PREPARATION

2 cup heavy whipping cream

1. Preheat canola oil in a

image: The Great Little Places Guide, Castle Hotel & Restaurant Aberaeron

FRIED CATFISH OVER A BED OF GARLIC AND CHIVE MASHED POTATOES TOPPED WITH CAJUN CRAWFISH SAUCE

skillet on medium.

PREPARATION

2. Whisk eggs and buttermilk

1. Heat butter and olive oil on

together in large bowl

medium/low heat.

3. Mix flour and cornmeal in

2. Add chopped vegetables

another bowl

and seasonings to the melted

4. Season fish very well then

butter and oil, about 5

The Harlem Renaissance

oppression and old ways of

dip in egg and milk mixture.

minutes.

was a movement that

thinking to uplift cultural

5. Finally, fully coat the fish in

3. Add worcestershire sauce,

celebrated and embraced

pride and self-expression.

the flour mixture

hot sauce and cream. Simmer

the nuances of the African-

6. When skillet is hot and

until thickens, about 5

American, Caribbean and

Those seeking a better

place coated fish in and allow

minutes.

African experience. Due to

life, freedom of expression

to cook 4-5 minutes on both

4. Add Crawfish tails and allow

circumstance, many were

and exposure to the world

sides.

to warm through. Crawfish

compelled to explore their

eventually embarked

7. Remove fish and allow to

does not take long to cook so

talents in phenomenal and

on their journey to the

drain on a paper towel

be careful of over cooking.

never before seen ways

North. Cultural culinary

while others embraced

experimentation

tradition, yet allowing room

also flourished and

for contemporary influence.

coincidentally created an

Serve with garlic and chive mashed potatoes.

amalgamation of Southern, The Harlem Renaissance

Afro Caribbean cuisine

was about knocking down

which is still popular today.

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All-natu r al Gluten-fr ee Non GMO • No MSG No Prese rvatives

“Live unrefined” From our Recipe Collection APPETIZER

SIDE

MAIN DISH

Shrimp Ceviche Cocktail

Zucchini with Golden Raisins & Pecans

Perfect Prime Rib

Serves 8 ¼ cup red onion, chopped 2 limes, juiced 1 teaspoon s.a.l.t. sisters Mandarin Zest Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1 tablespoon s.a.l.t. sisters Blend 1 lb cooked shrimp,

peeled and deveined 1 avocado, diced 1 tomato, diced 1 cup cucumber, diced 1 Serrano pepper, seeds removed and minced 2 tablespoons cilantro, chopped

In a small bowl, combine red onion, lime juice, Mandarin EVOO, and the s.a.l.t. sisters Blend. Set aside; let marinate 15 minutes.

In a large bowl combine shrimp, avocado, tomato, cucumber, Serrano pepper, and cilantro. Add the onion mixture and stir until combined. Fill martini glasses with the ceviche mixture and serve with a wedge of lime.

Serves 4-6 3 medium zucchini 1 tablespoon s.a.l.t. sisters Santiago Extra Virgin Olive Oil ½ cup golden raisins

¼ cup pecans, chopped 1 teaspoon s.a.l.t. sisters Smoked Applewood Sea Salt

Slice the zucchini into ¹/8 inch rounds (by hand or with mandolin).

In a large skillet, heat Santiago EVOO over medium heat and add zucchini. Cook until zucchini are slightly translucent and starting to brown, about 5-6 minutes.

Add the raisins, pecans, and Smoked Applewood sea salt; stir and let cook for 2-3 minutes.

Serve hot, at room temperature, or cold.

GENTS MAG

www.SaltSistersOnline.com

Serves 6 8 lb Rib Roast, bone-in ½ cup s.a.l.t. sisters Santiago Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1 cup s.a.l.t. sisters All-Purpose BBQ Rub or Blackening Cajun Rub Preheat oven to 500 degrees.

Rub the roast with oil; fully coat with AllPurpose BBQ or Blackening Cajun. The rub should create an even crust over the beef.

Place roast on the bottom rack of the oven; roast uncovered for 45 minutes. Reduce the heat to 325 degrees, cover with foil, and cook for an additional 25 minutes. For medium rare, internal temperature should be approx. 125 degrees.

Remove from oven and let rest for 15 minutes. Slice and serve.

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INSIDE THE HOU

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USE OF GROOM Story by Juan Smalls

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There’s a new ‘It Couple’ on the fashion scene and they invite you to GET GROOMED! Meet Octavius & Jamal Terry-Sims, modern-day renaissance men blazing a trail to sartorial dominance. Jamal is a dynamite Choreographer,

Director,

Dancer,

and

Producer;

Octavius, an accomplished Fashion Designer, Track & Field champion, Olympic hopeful and Recording Artist.

The visionary husbands have conspired to merge their varied talents with the launch of GROOM Official, a full-service tuxedo lounge for grooms and groomsmen that offers a one-of-a-kind custom fitting and styling experience and boasts a full line of cutting-edge accessories for the modern fashionisto.

The uniquely designed tuxedos gained worldwide attention after the couple debuted the original garments during the famous Grammy wedding where Queen Latifah officiated the nuptials. That momentous day embodied a simple but powerful notion—equality for all—exactly what GROOM Official endeavors to bring to the men’s formalwear and accessories marketplace.

By virtue of their versatile talents and wealth of experience—a whopping combined half-century in both the fashion and entertainment industries— Octavius & Jamal provide the finest workmanship and construction of garments while simultaneously tailoring a brand presence that rivals any of the veteran houses.

But don’t just take our word for it. Accept their invitation and GET GROOMED today by visiting groomofficial.com.

You’ll be glad you did.

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Photo by Carlos Jones

The Thomas Clay Overall Slack

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The Keith

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The Grammy & GROOM Cumberbun

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Lambda Legal is proud to support the

5TH ANNUAL GENTLEMEN’S BALL .

You Make Your Life, We Make It Legal.

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2016

HONOREES

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2016

GENTLEMAN OF PROMISE

DEVIN B. WARD Story by Antoine Bates

Devin Barrington-Ward received a promise

different speaking engagements such as

him to move to Washington D.C. In his

the Bayard Rustin/ Audre Lorde breakfast

time living in D.C, Mr. Barrington-Ward

and the State of Black Gay America. But

has served as a consultant for the Denim

even in this he knew he had to carve out

Project which is part of Us Helping Us,

his niche in the community by speaking

People Into Living (UHUPIL), a lobbyist

for the youth who are many times

dedicated to progressive sexual health

underrepresented. So Mr. Barrington-

policy reforms, and a Health Equity

Ward helped to start the parallel forum

Fellow with the National Coalition of STD

called the State of Young Black Gay

Directors. He used his voice at UHUPIL to

America to offer a chance for the voices

communicate its programs and initiatives

of youth to be heard.

to young black gay, bisexual and queer

at a very young age. His mother and

men in the DMV area. He also worked to

grandma said if he didn’t use his gift for

During

Mr.

ensure the passage of a law that requires

gab to make a living then he would miss

Barrington-Ward worked with the Chief

doctors in Georgia to offer HIV and syphilis

out on his blessing. Mr. Barrington-Ward

of Staff to Georgia State Representative,

testing to women in their third trimester of

has fulfilled that promise by using his voice

Keisha Waites. In this experience he

pregnancy.

to champion for those that feel othered

learned

due to their race, gender, class or sexuality.

legislation speak for the individuals who

Currently, Mr. Barrington-Ward serves

He has been a passionate public advocate

are underrepresented in society. This led

as the Director of Communications and

for the last ten years working to empower

him to fight for causes that he felt were

member of the Senior Leadership team

black and brown communities.

important for our community such as

at Whitman-Walker Health. This position

this

the

same

time

importance

period

of

making

when Brandon White was attacked in the

has him developing and managing

Mr. Barrington-Ward began his career and

Pittsburgh neighborhood of Atlanta due

the

passion for advocacy while living in Atlanta,

to his sexuality. Experiences such as this

communication strategies for its 260

GA. He quickly found his voice through

helped him grow as a leader and to put

employees, serving over 15,000 patients

being a part of the Community Advisory

things into perspective. He thrives to be a

yearly. He also serves as the President of

Board for the Evolution Project; a space for

champion of his community.

Impulse Group DC, an advocacy group

the LGBT Community of color. Through this

30

agency’s

internal

and

external

dedicated to addressing HIV and other

forum he met very influential individuals

Mr. Barrington-Ward wished to expand his

health disparities through a unique

who fostered his voice to flourish in

knowledge and advocacy which propelled

mixture of education and entertainment.

GENTS MAG

The Harlem Renaissance was the birthplace

In the Senate, Senator Fort continued his

majority as well as ensure that women

of many activists during the civil rights

work in fighting for progressive values.

and minority contractors are included in

movement. Many greats such as W.E.B.

While in office in the 1990’s, he wrote

billions of dollars of state funding.

Dubois, Marcus Garvey and Alain Locke

letters urging Fulton county Commission

helped shape black political thought

and East Point City Council ordinances for

As the moral conscience at the Capitol,

and activism from this era. Georgia State

domestic partnerships.

Senator Fort fights for all Georgians

Senator Vincent Fort follows their tradition in the struggle for equality.

daily. He believes in working towards a Senator Fort partnered with the LGBTQ

transformation of Atlanta which ranks

community including Georgia Equality

number one in income inequality and

Vincent Fort has been the progressive

to sponsor the only hate crimes law to

income immobility in the nation. He

voice of the Georgia State Senate since

ever pass the State of Georgia. He was

constantly pushes citizens and elected

being elected in 1996 but his passion

responsible for a predatory lending law

officials to organize together to fight for

for standing up for all citizens predates

that was considered the toughest in the

economic equality that promotes a living

his public service. In the 1980’s as the

nation when passed. As a Senator who

wage, expands healthcare for everyone,

campaign manager for a city council

values education, he has been able to

protects the environment, and respects

candidate, he urged them to support

secure over 50 million dollars in state

citizens’ rights to love who they choose.

domestic partner benefits for same sex

funding for Atlanta Metropolitan State

He is guided by the belief that ”when some

couples. His efforts contributed to the

College and Atlanta Technical College.

of us become [freer], we all become more

Atlanta City Council later passing domestic

free.” His work in Human rights follows in

partnership benefits for the City of Atlanta,

Known as a smart, and tireless legislator

the proud tradition of footsteps of many

a groundbreaking event at the time. As

by his colleagues, Fort was elected as

legends such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr,

president of the citywide neighborhood

Democratic Whip, the Number 2 Democrat

Congressman John Lewis, Bayard Rustin,

organization, Senator Fort was able to

in the Senate, to help steer Senate

Rev Joseph Lowery and many others.

secure job training for residents living near

Democrats’ agenda. As Whip, he has

the 1996 Summer Olympics Stadium.

helped block legislation by the Republican

2016

GENTLEMAN OF ALLIANCE

SEN. VINCENT FORT Story by Javier Brown

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2016

GENTLEMAN OF SERVICE

NEO SANDJA

Story by Queshan Hayes

lives from the inside out by giving them

annual conference TRANSFitCon, focuses

the tools to create permanent change

on empowering the Trans community

for success. As a spiritual warrior and a

in all five core areas of their lives:

“Change the world. Always seek divine

transformational trainer, Neo is the chair

Spirituality, Personal Growth, Fitness/

truth. Have an unending compassion for

of the FTM foundation which he created to

Wellness/Health, Finances and Family/

people. Find wisdom that only comes from

help the Trans-identified people with their

Relationships through his motto “fitness

the Spirit. Lead with integrity by knowing

transitional needs. Within this foundation

for the mind, body and spirit.”

my true self and by being whole,” is Neo

is a surgery fund. In an effort to assist in this

L. Sandja’s mission statement. This author,

fund, partial proceeds from his book, “Right

This gentleman of service migrated

speaker, business consultant and certified

Mind Wrong Body” are directly donated.

to the U.S. From the Democratic

Neuro-Linguistic

Life

His book, “Right Mind Wrong Body-The

Republic of the Congo in 2004 and

Coach of the Association for Integrative

Ultimate Trans Guide to be Complete and

started his gender transition in 2011.

Psychology is truly a Gentleman of service!

Live a Fulfilled Life” was written for people

His life’s mission is to transform

As a speaker, he is very passionate

who are looking for more happiness, peace

people’s lives through his writing,

about

topics

including

and fulfillment in their journey based

speaking engagements, personal life

financial

intelligence,

on the lessons that he learned himself

coaching and mentoring, but most

emotional intelligence, spirituality and

through his life’s transition.

importantly through his personal day-

communication. Neo considers himself a

Mr. Sandja’s service efforts were exemplified

to-day interactions. He recently stated,

spiritual warrior and a transformational

when he founded the first international

“Service to others is the water necessary

trainer. He defines a “spiritual warrior”

bodybuilding competition for people of

for the seed to grow or else it will die.

as someone who knows themselves and

Trans experiences and was featured on

Rain doesn’t discriminate where it falls.

conquers their deep fears and limitations.

major media outlets such as AL Jazeera

Abundance begins when we give freely

His definition of a “transformational

America and CNN. His business, FTM

of ourselves to others first.” Well said

trainer” is someone who changes people’s

Fitness World, along with its affiliated

from our 2016 Gentleman of Service!

business

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many

Programming

and

GENTS MAG

Not only is Darian Aaron a member of the

Atlanta’s LGBT community. In the Spring

winning LGBT blog: “Living Out Loud with

Atlanta Association of Black Journalists,

of 2014 as an undergraduate student at

Darian” and his coffee table book, “When

National Association of Black Journalists

Alabama State University, he founded

Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL

and the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists

AMPLIFIED, the first ever LGBT chartered

Couples of Color.” One of his favorite quotes

Association, but you can also find this

student organization in the history of the

by African-American gay rights activist

gentleman of excellence in the 2012 issue

University. If that was not a sign of his

Joseph Beam is “Black men loving black

of Ebony Magazine! He became one of the

excellence, Darian later graduated Magna

men is a revolutionary act.” This gentleman

few openly gay black men to be profiled

Cum Laude with a BA in communications

of excellence recently stated, “It’s an

in a featured piece entitled, “Black, Gay

in May of 2015.

amazing feeling to know that in Atlanta,

and Christian: Where Spirituality and

Darian has consistently used his voice

there are brothers in our community who

Sexuality Converge.” He has used his voice

towards LGBT equality and visibility in

are willing to show up, uplift each other

in television reporting at WSFA 12 News

print and on television. He has also been a

and do the work of healing…” Darian Aaron

and in radio news on WVAS FM 90.7 in

contributing writer to several publications

continues to consistently “show up” in our

Montgomery Alabama.

including: CLIK Magazine where he served

community making him a true Gentleman

In Atlanta, Darian has served as a member

as a staff writer, The Advocate, The LA

of Excellence!

of the Atlanta Black LGBT Coalition and as

Times, The Huffington Post, TheGrio.com,

an organizer for the annual State of Black

The Montgomery Advertiser, and several

Gay America Summit during Atlanta Gay

LGBT news websites.

Pride. In 2011, he was one of the dozens

Most recently, Darian Aaron is the Editor-

of black activists invited to attend GLAAD’s

in-Chief of Georgia Voice, the premier

first Media Institute in New York City. The

media outlet for LGBT Georgia. He is an

following year, this gentleman of excellence

award-winning digital journalist, blogger,

received a GLAAD award for his work in

and author. He is best known for his award-

2016

GENTLEMAN OF EXCELLENCE

DARIAN AARON Story by Queshan Hayes

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1. KORRELL SAMPSON McCORMICK

is an experience, a down to earth comedic force of nature and for well over a decade has been one of the most celebrated black, LGBT entertainers in the business. This award winning funny man, has been named “One of the Funniest Comics” by Huffington Post, The Advocate, BuzzFeed and Bay Area Reporter, as well as “One of the 12 LGBT Comics That Everybody Should Know” by OUT.com. He’s been featured on MTV, BET, and TV One. His highly acclaimed stand up special “That B*@&! Better Be Funny” appears in the new documentary “A Tough Act To Follow”. As he works to kick in doors and ceilings that exist for black LGBT artists in the entertainment industry, he also tirelessly crusades against religious bigotry, police brutality, lack of educational opportunities for youth and lends his comedic talents to charity and benefit events around the country.

His comedy offers fresh, riveting and original takes on sexuality, religion, and politics—you know, all those things you aren’t supposed to talk about in polite company.

3. DAMIEN CRAWFORD

is a singer, songwriter, entertainer and and versatile performer whose musical styling is Hip Hop, rock, and pop mixed with a touch of R&B. Fans have come to define his genre as “Urban Pop.” In recent days, Damien has been dominating the stage with electrifying performances by headlining a national US tour and opening up for artists such as Neon Hitch, KeKe Wyatt, K. Michelle & Brand A native of Piscataway, New Jersey, Damien began playing instruments and learning how to read music at the tender age of 7. By the time he was 14, he had learned to play the saxophone, trumpet, French horn, and piano. Throughout college, Damien competed in talent shows and won many of these events by impressing audiences with his natural performing abilities.

After earning his degree in 2007, Damien went on to complete his MBA and started working in corporate America. The talented performer used his skills and education to navigate his way through the music industry.

4. QUINCY LeNEAR & DEONDRAY GOSSETT

are the directors & creators of the award-winning anthology series, THE DL CHRONICLES, which premiered internationally on the pay cable network, here! TV in 2007. They are also the directors & creators of the web spinoff series, The Chadwick Journals, originally created to be a fundraiser for the indie, The DL Chronicles Returns, The Chadwick Journals has received over 400,000 combined views on YouTube since its 2011 release, with The DL Chronicles’ YouTube channel garnering over 1.9 million views since February 2011.

In May 2008, THE DL CHRONICLES won the GLAAD Media Award for Outstanding Television Anthology. It earned the added distinction of being the first African American television series to be nominated and to win the GLAAD Media Award.

THE DL CHRONICLES RETURNS, a series about men of color who lead double lives, just completed its 15-city festival tour in early 2014, and is now available on Vimeo as an on-demand rental. “Thomas” will be the first installment for the upcoming, The DL Chronicles Returns Volume II and continues to receive rave reviews. LeNear & Gossett are also two of the producers for the hit reality competition shows, Randy Jackson’s America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV), The Sing Off (NBCUniversal), Make Your Mark Shake It Up Danceoff (The Disney Channel), Face Off (SyFy), Family Dance Off (ABC), and were Supervising Producers GENTS for the pilot of Marlon Wayans’ sketch comedy competition show, Funniest Wins(TBS).

2. ANTHONY ANTOINE

is an Atlanta-based singer, songwriter, and rapper who has been on the music scene since releasing his first song in 1997. In 1999 he released his first independent project titled “Dante’s Got a Man Too”. Since then, Antoine has dropped twelve more projects including his May 2016 release “Masters of Dance”, a double-album celebrating dance music.

Anthony Antoine is also a performance poet and a community activist focusing mainly on the LGBT community. Since 1999, Antoine has been on the front lines of HIV/STI prevention in the Atlanta area. He’s worked with AID Atlanta, the AIDS Research Consortium of Atlanta, and is currently a Senior Research Project Coordinator at Emory University. In addition, Antoine is a member of the legendary Atlanta-based performance trio of The Adodi Muse: A Gay Negro Ensemble.

Antoine is also a father and is heavily involved with the Big Brother Big Sister program locally. Between his music, his performances, his activism and his love of young people Anthony Antoine is resolute to make the world a better place than he found it.

Through networking, Damien was able to find a local recording studio and began working on his self-written, debut EP, “THE CRAWFORD CHRONICLES,” released June 2011. The album was critically acclaimed as one of the best musical projects of 2011.

Music from the album hit radio stations worldwide causing the artist to gain international recognition. In June 2011, Damien debuted the music video for his first single “Show Me The Light.” The buzz generated by the song and video earned him a headlining tour on the East coast along with other Independent artists. In February 2013, Damien released his highly anticipated second self-written album “CHAMPION.” The project was his most successful album to date, both in terms of sales and critical acclaim. In addition, his writing and vocal arrangements gained him the attention of the heavy weights in the music business. Currently, the talented artist is promoting his two latest hits “TAKE CARE” & “GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER. He continues to work on perfecting his craft while showcasing his passion for performing.

LeNear & Gossett received the Rolf/Uribe Image Award in 2014 from LifeWorks and the Los Angeles LGBTQ Center for their media contributions to the community.

In May 2008, they were invited panelists to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences’ “LGBT: Above and Below the Line in Prime”, the Academy’s first “state of the union” review and celebration of LGBT contributions to television. The panel included Emmy award winning actor, Billy Crystal, Showtime Networks’ president, Robert Greenblatt and Emmy award winning writer, Bruce Vilanch.

LeNear & Gossett directed, wrote, and produced the starstudded, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012, and 2014 HEROES IN THE STRUGGLE Award Show at the Roy Disney Concert Hall and DGA Theater for the Black AIDS Institute. They also were the directors, producers, and writers of the Black AIDS Institute and Kaiser Permanente PSA campaign, “Greater Than AIDS”, one of the most powerful nationally televised AIDS awareness campaigns ever done specifically focusing on people of color.

LeNear & Gossett enjoy giving back and paying it forward and have ventured into a philanthropic effort with Outfest Film Festival and Sony Pictures called, OutSet, a program that fosters young LGBTQ filmmakers in their quests to become professional directors, writers, and producers. LeNear and Gossett sit on the MAG board as mentors who guide the students through the entire35 filmmaking process from script to screen.

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GENTLEMAN OF ARTISTRY GENTS MAG GENTS MAG

MILAN CHRISTOPHER

Story by Lee Jones

Milan Christopher is a person who believes in driving toward his

Christopher is thankful for being on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood

dream. Literally. In 2008 when this south side Chicago native piled

because it gave him exposure to audiences that he may have

into his car and took off to relocate to Atlanta, he made what he

never reached. In return, it gave the mainstream viewer a glimpse

thought was a wrong turn and wound up driving all the way to

of a Black gay couple trying to navigate the twists and turns of a

Los Angeles, CA. But little did he know that what he thought was a

love relationship. For that to be featured on a show named after

mistake turned out to be his blessing. Since his arrival to the City

a genre of music that is known to be homophobic and misogynist

of Angels he continues to drive toward an even bigger destination.

was really important.

Once he realized he was headed to Los Angeles and not Atlanta,

Despite his foray into modeling and television, Milan Christopher’s

Christopher courageously decided to press on. After making the

passion remains his music. “My music comes first before anything.

grueling 19-hour road-trip, Christopher parked in front of an

My music is what gives me a voice to touch on whatever I want

apartment building on Hollywood Boulevard that would later

to talk about without a filter,” Christopher says. Before Love and

turn out to be his first home in L.A. After resting a bit in his car he

Hip Hop Hollywood came calling Milan Christopher had already

decided to stick around and book some photo shoots in effort to

made a name for himself in the music industry. His first single,

build his portfolio and then double-back to his original target of

aptly titled “Burning Up”, blazed to the number one spot on Digital

Atlanta.

Tracker’s Independent Artist playlist for six weeks in 2013. His first full album “The Alpha” came out in May 2016 and features

As fate would have it, he took the advice of some photographers

the pioneering single “When I Go”, a song about domestic abuse

in L.A. and decided to stay a little longer to try his hand at

and suicide in the LGBT community. “When I Go” has landed

modeling. His modeling paved the way for him to appear in

Christopher back in the pages of the L.A. Times and has created a

television commercials for such big-name companies like Virgin

loud buzz on MTV, VH 1, LOGO and many other mainstream music

Mobile, Red Bull and Chase Bank. His commercial appearances

networks and blogs. In addition, the song reached number one on

landed Christopher guest roles on Nip Tuck, The Doctors and 12

iTunes. The emotionally wrenching video for “When I Go” vividly

Corozones television shows. In addition to his television roles,

sheds light on the ‘quiet’ issues of domestic violence and abuse

Christopher appeared in music videos featuring Beyoncé, Kanye

and the high suicide rate in the LGBT community, particularly in

West, The Game, Lil Wayne and Neyo.

the African American community. That light caught the attention of the Legislative Black Caucus in the California State Senate

Building on his newfound notoriety, Christopher garnered a

which sent Milan Christopher a formal letter expressing their

sizable following on his YouTube channel MilanChristopherTV and

appreciation for the song and the powerful imagery.

various other social media outlets. Certainly, his star was steadily rising. However, nothing boosted his celebrity status more than

Building on the buzz generated by “The Alpha” Christopher is

being selected as a cast member on one of the industry’s most

already working on his second album, which he is particularly

durable reality television franchises.

excited about. Christopher is driving to be as successful of an entertainment brand as any major star we see today. And like a

In 2015, Milan Christopher joined the cast of VH 1’s Love & Hip

true “Gentleman” he wants to be a star not for selfish reasons, but

Hop Hollywood, becoming the first openly gay cast member in

to be a champion for those who have been made to feel small.

the franchise’s history. Even more ground-breaking was the fact

“I want to be a vehicle for people who feel like they have been

that Christopher’s love life as an openly gay Black man was an

blocked out of certain things and showing them that you can be

essential part of the season’s storyline. This is the first time that a

as successful as anyone else no matter where you come from or

real Black gay couple was highlighted on mainstream television.

who you are, “Christopher said. That is the spirit of a champion

Although Christopher was on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood one

like Milan Christopher who has beaten back the odds to carve out

season, being a cast member opened new doors in his career.

his niche in the entertainment industry. And where he goes, he

He suddenly was being sought out to appear on talk shows like

will definitely take us with him “while leaving nothing behind.”

The Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Wendy Williams Show and in the pages of the L.A. Times newspaper.

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1. KARAMO BROWN

is a man of many passions who has found a unique way to balance fatherhood, with a burgeoning career as an activist, news/media personality and a model.

Brown is no stranger to advocacy on behalf of the LGBTQ community as a staff writer for The Advocate magazine and as a regular contributor for OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network), Huffington Post Live and BET. Brown also makes regular appearances on NBC’s Access Hollywood Live, HLN’s hit show DR. DREW Live and a variety of CNN shows and panels.

There is a difference between having a stage and a platform.

A stage is simply for performance, whereas a platform is often used by people who have something worth saying, and an audience who is listening and paying attention.

Brown, by all rights could have created a stage for himself after being introduced to the national stage as the 22 year old gay house mate on MTV’s Real World reality series.

Brown was an overnight viewer favourite and was the first openly gay African American man in reality television. He has recently returned to reality television as a cast member for #TheNext15, hosted by TV One. Brown turned a once in a lifetime opportunity, often referred to as “15 seconds of fame”, into a relevant platform while maintaining his character, integrity, and humanity.

Brown is passionate about using his platform to encourage those in the LGBTQ community to live more passionate, inspired and fulfilling lives.

3. LEO MARTINEZ: Every

life has a story, and if you listen something can be learned from every experience. Leo Martinez has made it his life’s work to ensure that the LGBT Latino population is not only represented but ensured a seat at table.

Often many subsets of the LGBTQ community finds themselves a minority within a minority in a patriarchal society often dominated by white straight males.

2. OLUBODE SHAWN BROWN

is one such man who believes in the power of understanding one’s roots.

Brown, founder of BLOOM (bloomjamaica.com), a movement of global Africans towards spiritual, sexual, economic and political liberation.

Every action has a starting origin. Every strong emotion has a point in which it began.

Following in the footsteps of Sojourner Truth, Brown leads small groups of LGBTQ men and women, and their friends on journeys back to Jamaica. For navy this is the first trip to their culture homeland, Jamaica a place known for its beautiful beaches but also as a hotbed of intolerance and homophobia.

For many the trip represents a sojourn back to the land of their birth or the home of their ancestors. The trip allows over two-hundred participants to experience six days of culture, ritual parties, local artistry, conversations and local tours with community LGBTQ activists.

Originally trained as a lawyer, Brown aligned with his calling as a spiritual teacher after an awakening and time spent in study with renowned spiritual teacher Malidoma Some. Some was an elder of the Dagara of West Africa and a teacher of indigenous African spiritual traditions.

Olubode Shawn Brown, has devoted his life to facilitating and honoring the spiritual transformations of his LGBTQ brothers, and sisters while sharing his own journey of enlightenment with others. Olubode, has most recently authored his first book, BLOOM! Finding What Matters.

services ranging from counselling to domestic violence education and prevention as well as culture understanding seminars and workshops.

Martinez functions as a bridge for the Latino community amongst local and state agencies.

Martinez, through Latino LinQ has been instrumental in being a conduit for conversations about domestic violence in the LGBTQ Latino community, and serving as a resource and safe place for victims and those impacted by domestic violence.

Moreover the LGBTQ community is fragmented into identifiers of race, creed, income, status, and pedigree. This becomes quite apparent during Pride celebrations around the country, and even here in the locale of Atlanta.

Martinez has been named Grand Marshall for the 2016 pride parade by the Atlanta Pride Organization and serves on the City of East Point Ethics Board.

Martinez a native of Buenos Aries, Argentina immigrated to the United States in 1997. Martinez currently serves as the Board President for Latino LinQ, a non-profit dedicated to providing

He has been named Grand Marshall by the Atlanta Pride organization for this year’s parade. He was recently appointed to the City of East Point Ethics Board.

4. FRANK LEON ROBERTS

has been speaking “truth to power” since his early days as a community organiser and fought as an assistant alongside famed civil rights attorney Johnnie Cochran to bring racial reparations to the forefront of the nation’s consciousness.

He cofounded the National Black Justice Coalition with Keith Boykin in 2004. Frank is not afraid that shine his light and use his voice to speak against injustice and social ills at institutions once considered stalwart in their ability to shape black identity and culture.

As frequent commentator on issues related to the intersections of race, gender, and sexuality; Roberts has become strange bedfellows with the struggle against the apathy of the human spirit and the tendency of others to want to err on the side of respectability politics while advocating for the advancement of those who often find themselves downtrodden, disenfranchised, overlooked and ignored.

Referred to as one of the new “Powerhouse Intellectuals” of his generation, by Dr. Cornel West. Roberts is partially responsible for bringing the Morehouse College dress code policy into the national spotlight.

Frank currently teaches the nation’s first “Black Lives Matter”, community activism course at New York University.

GENTS

His op-ed essay on The Washington Post’s TheRoot.com was the first published piece on the controversial dress code, and later incited widespread public conversations about legacies of intolerance at historically black colleges and universities.

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GENTLEMAN OF THE YEAR GENTS MAG GENTS MAG

BISHOP O.C. ALLEN Story by Ryan Girley

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation,

community and on the national stage. Allen serves as a bridge

and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lourde

builder between the “traditional church” and the “affirming church.” The powerful are often not motivated to pay much

In an age and time in which personalities are often valued more

attention to the powerless but through Allen’s advocacy, many

than one’s contributions, Oliver Clyde Allen III stands as an enigma

who feel powerless inside and outside of the LGBTQ community

to this growing trend in our society. Allen has been clearing a path

are given a voice. Allen’s bridge building extends well beyond

towards spiritual health and freedom for the LGBTQ community,

the LGBTQ community as he seeks to bring knowledge with an

since he arrived in Atlanta many years ago. Soon after The Vision

understanding.

Cathedral of Atlanta was established.

Oliver Clyde Allen III has a personality that fills any room he Allen is much more than a leader, he is a trailblazer who seeks to

inhabits, yet he remains touchable, humble, authentic, genuine,

holistically address the spiritual needs of the LGBTQ community.

loving and caring.

The LGBTQ community has fought the many restrictions placed on it by the outside community but hasn’t always understood the

In addition to his pastoral duties, Allen heads the Vision

challenge of freedom. Allen, the Senior Pastor and Founder of the

Community Foundation, The United Progressive Pentecostal

Vision Cathedral of Atlanta, has maintained the traditional black

Church Fellowship, as well as serving as a member of the Fulton

Pentecostal church “feel”, while preaching a message (theology)

County Task Force on HIV/AIDS and the Presidential Advisory

of reconciliation, community involvement, activism and self-

Council on HIV/AIDS.

empowerment.

Allen, consecrated as Bishop in 2002, can often be found praying, For those in the LGBTQ community seeking a respite from

counseling and talking with parishioners and visitors one on one

repressive theology, abuse in all forms (mental, physical,

after services.

emotional), the Vision Church of Atlanta exists as a safe place in a world which still debates the existence and legitimacy of the

The Vision Community Foundation annually feeds over 20,000

LGBTQ community.

families through its “Community In Action” program, provides clothing and toys for homeless and disadvantaged children.

Sitting in a Sunday morning service at the Vision Cathedral of

The Vision Community Foundation also provides GED training

Atlanta is like experiencing a bit of paradise, here on earth.

for students completing diplomas and teaches breast cancer awareness education alongside HIV/AIDS counseling and testing.

On any pew and everywhere you turn diversity in culture, ethnicity,

The foundation also hosts the annual Atlanta Black-Pride, “Pure

sexuality, socio-economic status, age, religious background and

Heat Community Festival”.

political affiliation can be found.

Author of “Master Your Emotions”, Allen is married to his life All are included, welcomed, loved, affirmed and given the

partner Rashad Burgess. They are the proud parents of Caylee

opportunity to be strengthened for their own personal journey,

& Joshua and were featured by Ebony Magazine in 2013 as one

while being introduced to the personhood of Jesus Christ in

of America’s “Top 10 Coolest Black Families.” They were the first

a unique way for the LGBTQ community at large, it’s allies and

Same-Gender loving couple ever selected for the recognition.

friends.

Allen, remains poised to continue being a prolific and profound “Those who are comfortable with our oppression are the first to

voice for the Atlanta area and the national LGBTQ community at

criticize us for daring to speak out.” - Harry Belafonte

large.

Allen is a notable and vocal figure of influence in the Atlanta

“When you learn, teach. When you get, give!” - Maya Angelou

GENTS MAG

41

Project Briggs, Inc., Algie Bryant, Kappa Psi Kappa Fraternity, Inc., Andre Harrison, Andre Johnson, CJ Lewis, Darnell L. Moore, NAESM, Big Boy Pride, and Howard Turner-Blackwell

STAND IN YOUR

LIGHT 2016...so emotional. From the heartbreaking loss of icons like Prince and Muhammed Ali, to the brutal slayings of brothers and sisters like Philando Castille and Nykea Aldrige, hurt, shock and rage can leave us overwhelmed. Losing 49 precious members and allies of our community at Pulse nightclub in Orlando is not only one of the most devastating events of this year but of my lifetime. How do we promote progress yet maintain our sanity when the voices of oppression relentlessly attempt to thwart change? It begins within.

Know your worth.

Commemorating

the

beautiful

We have a sitting U.S. president

souls lost in Orlando, now more

championing

than ever it is critical we focus

African American Attorney General

gay

on affairs that truly matter. Do

letting the world know the Justice

you recognize what an honor

Department has our back; SGL

and privilege it is to be black and

people all over the television, in

SGL? Persecuted publicly, desired

ads, in music and a litany of other

privately, the envy is real! Baby,

accomplishments…and we’re worried

we are always in demand. The

aspersions

ignorant and/or jealous try to

likely living in a glass house? Boy,

diminish our light because they

bye! Stay in the flow of abundance

are very aware of our power.

emanating all around us. . Educate

We’re the ones who often don’t

ignorance through your greatness...

recognize our strength, beauty,

not your keyboard. Know your worth.

cast

marriage,

from

an

someone

resilience and dynamism . Are you living in the truth of your power?

Appreciate the immense value you

If not, it’s time. Know your worth.

bring to the world. Stop saying yes when you want to say no. Others

What we focus on expands. We

abducting your talents when there’s

must channel our energy to affect

nothing in it for you? Kill that

positive change, not wallow in

foolishness.

negativity with naysayers. Since

seeing your value when you don’t see

Orlando, social media platforms

your own. Align yourself with those

remain flooded with SGL men/

who propel you in the direction of

women going back and forth with

your dreams. Make being a blessing

religious

because

(not a doormat) to someone else be

they don’t support us they way

a priority. Let the pains of 2016 fuel

we support them when a black

the future we desire. The unity train

man is gunned down by police.

destined for healing is leaving the

This baffles me. Why do we seek

station…ALL ABOARD!

validation from those who don’t

worth.

“Christians”

That’s merely them

even practice what they preach in the first place? Why are some

Stand in your light,

of us absolutely obsessed with gaining their acceptance? Social evolution is already in motion so as the kids say, “stay woke.”

44

GENTS MAG

Lonnell Williams

Know your

reading room Story by Ryan Girley & Dirk Smith

It’s easy to forget that before the advent

Hughes often blurred the line between

of social media, cell phones, or any of

his personal experience and the common

the technological advances we couldn’t

experience of black America.

imagine living without, writing was the principal medium of communication.

He wanted to tell the stories of his people in ways that reflected their actual

During the Harlem Renaissance, writing

culture, including both their suffering

as a young black gay male or female

and their love of music, laughter, and

was a revolutionary act. It was far easier

language itself.

to be invisible than to stand in the light.

Poets, authors, songwriters, singers who

During the Harlem Renaissance, writing as a young black gay male or female was a revolutionary act.

happened to identify as same gender loving or were rumored to have same gender loving leanings helped pave the way for the freedoms of expression we see across the arts today.

James Mercer Langston Hughes was born

February

Joplin,

Hughes poetry was addressed to the

Hughes, who claimed Paul

people, specifically people of color,

Lawrence Dunbar, Carl Sandburg, and

using themes that were familiar to

Walt Whitman as his primary influences,

the everyday life & plight of African

is particularly known for his insightful,

Americans at that time.

Missouri.

1,

1902,

in

colorful portrayals of black life in America from the twenties through the sixties.

Today, the literary spirit of Hughes lives on within the words and works of gay

Hughes wrote novels, short stories and

African American artist such as Darius

plays, as well as poetry, and is also known

Omar Williams, Keith Boykin and Don

for his engagement with the world of jazz.

Weise.

46

GENTS MAG

TITLE: Mighty Real: An Anthology of African American Same Gender Loving Writers

“A collection of African-American Same Gender Loving Literature featuring both new and established writers.

AUTHOR: Edited by R. Bryant Smith and Darius Omar Williams (Author)

Grounded in a poignant and truthful sensibility, imbued with the realities of sex and love, Smith and Williams present a culmination of poems, short stories, radical essays, sermons, plays

WHERE TO BUY:

and interviews honoring notable

$32.48 Paperback | www.amazon.com

figures within the SGLBT community.”

TITLE:

“In 1974, playwright Ntozake Shange

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home

AUTHOR: Keith Boykin (Editor)

published For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf. The book would go on to inspire legions of women for decades and would later become the subject and title of a hugely popular movie in the fall of 2010. For Colored Boys, addresses longstanding issues

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of sexual abuse, suicide, HIV/AIDS,

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racism, and homophobia in the African American and Latino communities, and more specifically among young gay men of color.”

“Showcasing the work of literary giants

TITLE: Black Like Us: A Century of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual African American Fiction

like Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, Audre Lorde, Alice Walker, and writers whom readers may be surprised to learn were “in the life,” Black Like Us is the most comprehensive collection of

AUTHOR:

fiction by African American lesbian, gay,

Don Weise (Compiler), Devon W. Carbado (Editor), Dwight McBride (Editor) $21.53 Paperback | www.amazon.com

and bisexual writers ever published.

WHERE TO BUY: $21.53 Paperback | www.amazon.com

From the Harlem Renaissance to the Great Migration of the Depression era, from the postwar civil rights, feminist, and gay liberation movements, to the unabashedly complex sexual explorations of the present day, Black Like Us accomplishes a sweeping survey of 20th century literature.”

GENTS MAG

47

S huffle Along

T

Story by Antoine Bates

oday, going to a Broadway show

enrapture you into his craft but he is also

is just a norm when visiting or

gay. Having a leading man on stage who

living in NYC. But what started

is very proud and open with his sexuality

a cultural shift in the Black

allows other black and brown BGT men

community toward Broadway theatre

sitting in the audience to think that could

was one show simply titled “Shuffle

be me commanding an audience. Porter

Along.” Created during the beginning

is most known as the lead Lola in Kinky

of the Harlem Renaissance in 1921 by

Boots, but whatever he is involved in he

the creative team of Noble Sissle, Eubie

leaves a piece of himself in the work.

Blake, F.E. Miller and Aubrey Lyles. It was one of the first shows written by

The production was an emotional roller

black individuals, starring black actors,

coaster, with beautiful music, acting and

actresses

black

dancing galore; it told the story of the

musicians occupying the pit orchestra,

show that opened the door for many

and a mixed crowd of not only black

of the black actors and actresses that

and brown faces but white faces as well.

now allow us to escape our reality and

“Shuffle Along” was the first black musical

be whisked away to new places on the

on off Broadway that commanded a sold

Broadway stage. However, it was short

out audience almost every show for a

lived on Broadway, with a closing date

record 504 performances.

of July 24th, 2016, after 38 previews

and

dancers,

with

and 100 regular performances. When This show was the breeding ground

competing with shows like “Hamilton”

for the best and brightest actors and

and “The Color Purple”, it is hard to come

actresses during the Harlem Renaissance.

out on top. However, it may not have

It either started or helped many notable

conquered longevity but it was able to

individuals like Adelaide Hall, William

bring the Harlem Renaissance and history

Grant Still, Paul Robeson, and Florence

interpretation was called “Shuffle Along

Mills among many others. Josephine

or the Making of the Musical sensation of

Baker, a dancer/ actress known for her

1921 and all that followed.” A long title

Shows like “Shuffle Along” makes it now

gender bending, sexual in nature style

for a show filled with the most prolific

easier for shows like “Invisible Thread”,

got her start through “Shuffle Along” as

actors, actresses and dancers of color

“Kinky Boots”, “Invisible Life”, “Mighty

the last dancer on the chorus line. Mrs.

to hit a stage all at once. The headlining

Real: A Fabulous Sylvester Musical” and

Baker also had an attraction for women

stars of the show were Audra McDonald

many other Black LGBT themed shows

over the years. Broadway has often been

(as Lottie Gee), Brian Stokes Mitchell (as

to Broadway/Off Broadway Audiences.

a place where the LGBT community has

F.E. Miller), Billy Porter (as Aubrey Lyles),

Hopefully, it inspires other Black Gay,

felt safe and secure. “Shuffle Along”

Joshua Henry (as Noble Sissle) and

Bisexual and Transgendered men to tell

opened the door for the Black LGBT

Brandon Victor Dixon (as Eubie Blake).

their stories so that one day in the future

community to carve out its own piece of

One of the few almost all black casts

we can stop and say “that show” helped

this safe space.

on the “Great White Way”, and a cast

me to come out or to move toward my

representing all shades of the rainbow.

dreams. It only takes a bit of imagination

On March 15th, 2016 “Shuffle Along”

and a dream to create a wonderful piece

was brought back to the Broadway stage

Billy Porter was an absolute scene stealer

chronicling the journey from the making

anytime he was on stage. Not only can

of the show through life after it. This new

this man sing the house down, and

48

back on a stage for all to marvel at.

GENTS MAG

of history, just like “Shuffle Along.”

A GENTLEMAN KNOWS How to “PrEP” for a Ball For more information about PrEP, call 404-613-4708

Sponsored by the Fulton County Department of Health and Wellness PrEP Clinic GENTS MAG

49

design by seejonescreative.com

The 7-Year Stretch Story by Juan and Gee

October 23rd, 2016. Our 7th

1. Self-Awareness is Priority #1

wedding anniversary. The day

We cannot stress enough how important self-awareness is to the health of your relationship. What we

we said “I do” and never looked

know for sure is that every relationship is here for our own personal growth and every challenge that

back. It’s been said that year #7

we present to one another is here to teach us something about ourselves. We often get so caught up in

is the “make it or break it” stint on

the “he hurt me” or “he did me wrong” narrative that we don’t realize that our partner is just a tool being

a couple’s journey. The dreaded

used to further our personal growth. Try stepping out of your ego when experiencing conflict and ask

7-year stretch. The year where

yourself, “What is this experience here to teach me?” Taking this approach will help you appreciate the

you will undeniably face the most

contrast that your beau will most definitely bring to your life.

gut-wrenching, go-to-sleep-mad inducing, patience-testing times of your life. While we can say that this notion rings true in our life this has been the most challenging year of our marriage - we realize that it has also brought about the most growth, understanding, and transformation in us as a couple and as individuals.

2. Set Long-Term Goals Consistently and collectively working towards a tangible goal helps you to envision life together on a long-term basis. It creates an environment where each individual becomes intentional in their actions, invested in the growth of the relationship and interested in their partner’s desires. What’s more important than setting goals is putting in the necessary work to achieve them. This can be starting a business, building your investment portfolio, credit repair, backpacking through Europe or anything long-term. Trust us. You will discover that the goals you set will serve as a bedrock for your partnership when you experience challenging times thus allowing you to momentarily shift your focus from what is ailing you to that which keeps you and brought you together.

You hear us use the phrase #LoveWorks all the time. It’s the

3. Sexuality is meant to be EXPRESSED not SUPPRESSED

name of our relationship coaching

Sexual desires are like ping-pong balls. You can’t keep them underwater. They will eventually POP

practice and blog, we open and

UP! That’s why we believe in expressing your desires rather than suppressing them. We often view

close our videos with the phrase,

relationships through traditional lenses, harboring the notion that we must get all of our sexual desires

and we use the hashtag on all

out of our system before settling down. We feel dirty, guilty, ashamed or resentful when our mind

of our photos. Why? Because

wanders, naturally, into the ‘dungeon of socially forbidden behaviors’; a place that is off-limits to those

it is true. The fact of life is this:

in relation with another. Bullshit! We are sexual beings by nature and there is nothing wrong with sexual

you are going to go through

expression; it’s actually therapeutic. Embrace that concept. Accept that reality. Then talk about it. After

something with SOMEBODY.

all, your union is supposed to be a safe space where you are comfortable expressing all of your wildest

There’s no getting around it. So,

fantasies, desires, proclivities and thoughts. But you cannot achieve that level of comfort unless you

why not endure with the one you

openly and honestly talk about it. No matter what. Your partner may not be receptive to everything

LOVE? After all, Love heals all.

on your list but communication builds trust and trust leads to openness. Like the old folks used to say,

Love cures all. Love works when

closed mouths don’t get fed. Open up!

nothing else does. Now, we know you all don’t want to hear a bunch

4. He Is Not Your Slave, You Are Not His Master

of generic tips about how to make

One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is acting like they own their partner; like he’s

LoveWork, so we’ve crafted a list

your property. You finally land a man and all of a sudden he belongs to you. You become disillusioned by

of 7 things that we know for sure

believing that he must live to please you, operate by your rules and give up his individuality to appease

after making it through our very

your ego. You place unrealistic expectations on him in the name of love and effectively enslave him to

own “7-year stretch.”

an existence trapped in the shadows of your insecurities. Stop it!

50

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5. Know Your Energy Every person is dominated by either masculine or feminine energy, regardless of gender or sexual preference. In fact, one’s energy has nothing to do with physical attributes and everything to do with their inner being. To put it in simple terms, masculine energy can be described as the “doer” while feminine energy is best designated the “feeler.” Understanding and accepting this concept was perhaps the most challenging yet rewarding lesson we both had to learn because we initially equated the word feminine with woman when in reality, it is merely nature’s way of achieving balance. Once you identify and accept the energy that emanates from each of you, it will provide a deeper sense of understanding and explain exactly why you were attracted to and by each other. As two self-proclaimed alpha males, this lesson by far took us the longest to grasp.

6. Change Is Inevitable Emotions are like the seasons, they eventually change. So do people. Do you remember how great it felt when you first fell in love? How happy you were to have found your special someone and the bliss with which you processed every new discovery in your relationship? You were certain that the feelings would last forever. But they didn’t. The euphoric feeling of love is a wonderful experience but dissipates as couples are faced with reality and as their differences emerge. So, what do you do? Accept that this will eventually happen. Become aware when it is happening. Embrace the differences and explore ways to forge a deeper emotional connection.

7. Agree to Agree There is no one way to have a relationship. People often say to us: “I want what you guys have!” Our typical response is: “Well, what is it that you think we have? ” They usually stumble a bit at this response. You see, you never know what is going on in someone’s relationship. Hell, sometimes we are not even honest enough with our very own partner to let them know what’s going on in our OWN relationships. We like to assume that the other knows how they should operate in a relationship with you because we all know how we are supposed to be in a relationship, right? WRONG! Relationships are about agreements. Talk about what your wants and desires and ask the same of your partner. We are not just talking about love, intimacy, trust, blah, blah, blah….we are talking details. Get specific: finances, romance, sex, family, tidiness, chores, communication, vacations, friends, etc. You must agree on what your relationship should look like in all areas, including how you want to be treated. And guess what? Your agreements will change as you evolve; they are meant to be negotiated and revised regularly. It’s an ongoing process.

There are so many things that go into making a relationship ‘successful’

through your individual lens. You do not have the same past experien-

but these are definitely 7 sure lessons that we have learned that have

ces and therefore will not always see eye to eye. Instead of fighting to

kept us going strong throughout the years. It takes time to get there,

get each other to experience life as you do, embrace the two lenses and

so be patient with your lover and yourself. You both are looking at life

use it as POWER to enhance your life together.

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51

GENTS TRAVEL! XSCAPE PR

Story by Dirk Smith

FLIGHT FROM: Your city, USA FLIGHT TO: Puerto Rico DATES OF TRAVEL: May 26-29, 2017 The exuberant energy of the Harlem Renaissance

But hold on to your seat. There’s

during the 1920’s-1930’s drew hundreds of thousands

more!

of tourists from across the nation. Among the throngs of annual visitors were countless gays who were

Memorial Day weekend 2017 will

predestined to travel to Harlem, NY, the epicenter for

be absolutely incredible and will

one of the largest cultural explosions of the arts in U.S.

include something for everyone.

history. Harlem was full of revelry and it was a time gay

In

people were noticeably visible yet quite invisible.

Gregory Douglas, “LGBT travelers

the

words

of

co-founder

will enjoy an action packed Well, times have changed! The spirit of the Harlem

weekend consisting of 3 nights of

Renaissance continues today because of

theme parties, live entertainment

Gregory

Douglas and Maurice Foley, two business partners who

by

had a brilliant vision. In 2014, they created a 3-night

cultural excursions on the island

4-day event over Memorial Day weekend aptly named

of Puerto Rico, the All Star

Xscape Puerto Rico LGBT Arts & Culture Music Festival.

Comedy Night Concert, The LGBT

This amazing 21st century destination event caters

Film Festival, Financial Workshop

to professional gay men and women of color and the

Seminar,

people who support them.

Workshops, The Vanguard Awards

national

recording

Health

&

artists,

Wellness

and more!

Xscape Puerto Rico offers a larger-than-life excursion

52

to this picturesque and totally relaxing tropical island.

Xscape Puerto Rico 2017 invites

The trip provides the LGBT community an opportunity

all Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and

to network with like souls, build long lasting personal

Transgenders to celebrate life,

and professional relationships and most of all have fun.

love, friendships, freedom of

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expression, pride and unity.” And if that’s not enough to get you excited, some have even described Xscape Puerto Rico as the “LGBT version of the Essence Music Festival but for gay people of color”, says Mr. Douglas.

Yes, that’s it! We look forward to seeing YOU in Puerto Rico!

Visit: xscapepr.com or call 404-756-8433

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53

BLENDED FAMILIES Honest Talk Story by Jon Diggs, LPC. & Dorsel Blackwell-Turner

Similar to families of the Harlem Renaissance, LGBTQ families seek to understand identity and create cultural norms in a homophobic society.

Families of color looked different during the

the blended family is evolving yet again to

It was the positional writings, poetry, novels

1920’s and 1930’s along the east coast of

include the LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual,

and music of the Renaissance that raised

the United States. An influx of immigrants

transgender, Queer) community.

the consciousness of the black family.

changed the ethnic make-up of the nuclear

On June 26, 2015, the United States

Creating space to explore new hopes and

and extended family. Not only was there

Supreme Court ruled that states denying

an identity without oppression. In the spirit

a blending of physical attributes but the

a same sex couple a marriage license was

of the Renaissance, this article aligns with

merging of cultures and identities. The

unconstitutional. Today, a blended family can

the traditional of sharing experiences and

blending of experiences, threaded by a

consist of a Mom and a Mom and a Dad and a

storytelling to create a body of work to raise

common theme of what it meant to be black in

Dad and their step-children.

the consciousness of its people.

eras in modern artic expression among people

Black families during the Harlem Renaissance

We captured a dialogue between a gay

of color-The Harlem Renaissance.

were trying to navigate racial and cultural

African American husband, father and a

identity in an oppressive society. The LGBTQ

psychotherapist specializing in LGBTQ issues.

Today, the American family is continuing to

family structure continues to evolve as more

The conversation explores what it feels

change. Our personal journeys tell a story

couples are considering marriage. Similar to

like to be a part of a gay (male-to-male)

of growing up in a single parent home or

families of the Renaissance, LGBTQ families

blended family. We also explored some

parents that never married but recognized

seek to understand identity and create

of the challenges and solutions blended

each other as husband and wife. Remarrying,

cultural norms in a homophobic society.

families may experience with raising children,

in response to higher divorce rates in the past

Mainstream media may view the LGBTQ family

balancing the power dynamic and adjusting to

ten years, has given rise to “step-parents” and

as a composite; however, exploring small

being a husband and father as a gay man.

“step-children.” Sociology literature refers

nuances between within-group differences

to this union as a Blended Family. Defined

has value. It is here where we see how families

We thought others might have similar questions

as a family group created by remarriage that

navigate the rejection of heterosexual norms

and could use our thoughts as a demonstration.

includes step-parents or step-siblings or both,

while creating a same gender loving template.

America, gave voice to one of the most prolific

~ continued on pg. 56

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55

All parents project: “When I have kids I will not be like parents, I will do x and y differently.” But is there an added pressure for gay men who are husbands and fathers?

teaching the child? Not to touch the candy.

Today my marriage is great and

But think about how that translates into the

so is my fatherhood. I have a

next time the child enters the store. Surely,

loving husband that loves our now

the child is less likely to touch the candy

22-year-old daughter as his own.

a child who becomes fearful with trying

JON

DORSEL

new things. This can show up in adulthood

I think gay men who struggle with

I knew that when I had children of my own

as the lack of willingness or anxiety with

religion

that I would raise them to respect and

trying new things. This has a direct impact

struggle with religion. Eventually

appreciate all people from every walk of

on how you approach new relationships.

it shows up in our children as a

life. I want them to have a very diverse

It basically comes down to “I didn’t get a

resistance to organized religion and

group of friends. I also want them to

chance to practice” with how to engage

anxiety when engaging spirituality.

understand, and know how to treat same

with new things. This could be one reason,

I think your story of creating a

sex couples and their children. I want to

along with poverty, why we have fixation

balance between what you were

help other parents by encouraging them

with buying new things and cycles of failed

taught and what you wanted to be is

to love, and raise their children with both

relationships. You can see it in our material

a key life lesson. It is critical that we

parents’ views whether they be 2 dads

consumption and in our serial dating.

explore our own bias when stepping

and behave, but if you look closer you see

become

into

as if they have a say in their life choices

Dealing with past lives: ” I used to be married. How do I explain this to my kids? How am I supposed to manage a relationship as I transition as a Dad, husband, and gay man?

ourselves to think outside the

JON

DORSEL

1. Tell the truth about who you are

One of biggest issues I see among

I always felt like I had to live up to a certain

today: “I acknowledge that I love

blended families is best approaches

image, especially when it came to obeying

men and sometimes it makes me

to raising children. If I could generalize

religious beliefs and values. So I always

feel uncomfortable because I don’t

it, it seems like most couples are

had an image of a man and a woman being

know what this is going to look like

asking, “Am I’m doing this (parenting)

married until the day I realized I would

in the end.”

right?” What’s interesting is that most

rather marry a man. And to add to the mix I

parents gay or straight have these same

also had a baby girl.

the parents to let go of their inherited negative religious views because those views could cause them not to love and nurture their relationships effectively.

truths

and

who

or 2 moms. I want the children to feel and decisions. I would also encourage

our

parents

challenge

box. If not, I can see how uncheck feelings can manifest as conflicts as a person transitions from a ‘straight’ worldview to a ‘gay’ worldview.

I reference 3 steps to wellness:

2. Practice forgiveness: I forgive myself for keeping myself hostage

questions.

I wanted to strategically plan out my life

to a life that didn’t accurately

I like what you said about raising

knowing one day I would have to make

represent me. I forgive myself for

children with respect and appreciation

my growing child a part of my gay world. I

living my life to make someone else

for all people. This sounds like Value-

was not sure what that would look and feel

happy. I forgive myself for keeping

Centered Parenting. It’s when you

like. I just knew I wanted it to be a peaceful

me in an unhappy space. I forgive

parent rooted in ideals that reflect the

experience. And not feel like I had to one

myself for allowing my negative

highest version of self, much like the

day choose between being a loving and

thoughts to break me down.

ones you shared, respect, tolerance and

supporting father and being a loving and

love.

supporting husband. I learned through the

3. Set intention: For the rest of life

years to just go with it, and try to balance

I seek balance. I acknowledge that

I think I can explain what Value-Centered

my attention between both. At times it was

this is a life journey and I may mess

Parenting is by stating what it is not.

tough because one side did not understand

up as a parent but my intention is to

Have you ever seen a child in grocery

nor cared about the other sides feelings. But

raise my child with love, tolerance,

store with their parents? As soon as they

by God’s grace I made it, and that helped me

and empathy for others. My first

reach for candy, their hand is popped

to know that God does love everyone; even

step is recognizing that I will not be

(Fear-Based Parenting). What are we

this gay man.

perfect, but the process will.

56

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— Young Black Gay Menʼs Leadership Initiative

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