Gò0dNews for Everyone
Finding Approval
H
by Todd R. Gunderson
ow do you seek the approval of others? It’s an
Maslow’s third step, “Love and Belonging,” includes a sense
uncomfortable question for some, and to others,
of connection. It, too, can aid in our feelings of approval.
it’s the driving force that ensures their unique
Yet, I had one question stirring in my heart and mind. It
place in this world. I think I’m somewhere in between these
was prompted by a scripture. Proverbs 16:18 states, “Pride
extremes, yet I still find myself doing things for others
goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Does
expecting a pat on the back. My goal, of course, is to be a
scripture play a role in our ascent on Maslow’s Hierarchy of
blessing to others less fortunate, and happily, I have a sense
Needs? It should. Searching for approval can often create a
of duty to many. I’ve always enjoyed helping where I can,
feeling of guilt when promoting personal talents, and there’s
but God seems to show me those areas where I matter. Recently, I was reviewing Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It’s a theory of human requirements arranged in a pyramidal structure where physiological needs form the base (food, water, etc.). As I read the descriptions of each step, they seemed to make sense. However, when I reached the pyramidion and read the word selfactualization and its descriptors, I had to learn more. The term has controversy among social scientists, but I simply saw the idea as an unreachable goal. Maslow interviewed many individuals who, in his mind, had reached self-actualization. I could not imagine how he knew they were self-actualized—surely, they must have told him. Wikipedia explained his thinking. “All were ‘reality centered,’ able to differentiate what was fraudulent
a fine line between sharing and flaunting. We all want the
from what was genuine. They were also ‘problem-centered,’
approval of others, but I think it might be best to leave it up
meaning that they treated life’s difficulties as problems that
to God. Self-actualization seems prideful.
demanded solutions. These individuals were comfortable
I began to question how anyone can claim his top tier
being alone and had healthy personal relationships. They
of self-actualization when each of us has so much more to
had only a few close friends and family rather than a large
learn in this life. I would rather strive for a Godly sense
number of shallow relationships.” Sounds good, but it is
of approval with the lesser tier of “esteem.” I find it to
also described as having achieved one’s full potential.
be a healthy goal for humanity. But Biblically, we learn
I can appreciate the ideas to a degree, but Maslow’s
that respect for others is instructed, status is appointed,
“esteem” tier, second from the top, had more meaning to me
recognition is rewarded, strength will be renewed, and
than any of them, and as I stated earlier, it’s what drives me
freedom is achieved through the power of God.
to some degree, and reasonably, many others. It’s where we status, recognition, strength, and freedom. Truly, these ideas mark great politicians, doctors, orators, or CEOs. Even
34 // April 2022
About The Author
find the approval of others. His descriptors here are respect, Todd R. Gunderson is a teacher, author, and woodworker who lives and works in Cleveland, TN. He has been teaching for 25 years for Bradley County Schools. He earned his teaching degree at Lee University and a Master of Science in Education from Arkansas State University. Todd lives the country life with his wife, Laura, 4 children, 4 cats, and 2 dogs. You can see his books and woodworking projects at ToddRGunderson.com.
