WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Choose Forgiveness

The other day on my drive to work my youngest daughter shared with me that she was mad at her older sister. As her mother I was concerned, so I asked her what happened. She proceeded to tell me a story about how her older sister was talking really "sassy" to her, and it hurt her feelings. Naturally, my next step was to ask her older sister why she was being "sassy". She then proceeded to tell me her side of the story, defending her actions for being "sassy". Once I had heard her side, I told the older sister that she had every right to defend herself; however, it was how she said what she said that subsequently hurt her sister's feelings. I shared with her that even though what we say may be correct, we cannot control how the message is received by the other person.

So I told them both that they needed to apologize to each other, and also that they need to watch how they talk to each other, because words can hurt if they are used wrong and without good intentions. The youngest daughter apologized and was forgiven. The older one proceeded to apologize however, her sister said that she didn’t forgive her, and in her mind it was justifiable. I was instantly bothered and offended by her response. I asked her why she didn’t forgive her sister. Her response was well thought out and calculated. She said that her older sister has a habit of always doing something, and she didn’t want to continue accepting her apology for the same thing. My response was the classic Bible teacher response. I shared with her that because she had Jesus in her heart that she had to forgive her. I didn't invalidate her feelings, but I wanted to give her the Bible, the Truth, and give her the option to live into what the Word said or not. Ultimately, living the Word out is an individual choice. I wanted in this teachable moment to equip her with enough information to make another well thought out decision, like she made in choosing not to forgive.

In Matthew 18:21-27 it says, “Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. “Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.” The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, “Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.”

After sharing the story with her, her response was like that of a child. She said, "That’s a whole lot of times." I told her it’s a metaphor; however, that is what God requires for us to do. If you profess to be a child of God, then forgiving more than you can count should be what you strive to do. I also shared with her that when we sin against God He forgives us every time we ask, and He tosses it as far as the east is from the west never to be thought of again. After that we prayed and asked God to help her work on her forgiveness. I took this teaching moment one step further, and I mentioned to her that I would hate for something unexpected to happen, and she passes away with unforgiveness in her heart. After we cried and discussed things she repented, asked God to forgive her, and then she forgave her sister.

There may be someone that you can think of that has wronged you so badly, that you feel justified in holding on to that unforgiveness towards them. I urge you today to release it, forgive them, and allow God to heal the wound releasing yourself of the hurt. The longer you hold on to those things the longer you give that individual your power. Release it. Allow God to heal the hurt and the pain so that you can move on. Harboring unforgiveness makes it hard to love. It also makes it hard for people to get close to you. One of the commandments says that we are to love thy neighbor as ourselves. Who is your neighbor? Your neighbor is the person that is next to you; which at any point in time can be anybody. Our Father thought of us, in these exact moments when it may be hard to forgive, when He made the choice to give the life of his son so that we could live again. His son was and is our perfect example and we should make every effort to strive to be like Christ, forgiving, loving, and doing Pastor Rhoda Turner our part to make this world a better Christian Faith Fellowship Church place. Chandler, AZ www.cffaz.org