Grand Traverse
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SEPT/OCT '19 • HEALTH ISSUE
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M E D I TAT I O N M O N DAYS WITH KEN SCOTT AND DR. HEATHER RASSEL, D.C.
J OV I A is an integrative wellness center, where our mission is to ELEVATE LIVES. B O DY M I N D S P I R I T When there is balance & harmony within these three aspects of the human being, there is a sense of JOY expressed.
NEW FAC E S COMING TO J OV I A ! Annie Haas East Lansing native. Has a masters in Chinese Medicine & Acupuncture.
SEPTEMBER 9, 23 O C TO B E R 7, 21 • every other Monday for 30 min • start your week off right! • no charge, donation based • come a few minutes early to get settled, starts promptly at 6:30 PM GUEST TEACHER Joan D’Argo leading a seven week qigong series, starting November 6th.
Find the JOVIA app on Apple and Android.
Katy Olson Traverse City native. Studied massage therapy in Boulder, CO.
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Dr. Heather Rassel, D.C., Co-Founder, Healer & Facilitator
Sept/Oct '19
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Grand Traverse Woman
WOMAN2WOMAN BY KANDACE CHAPPLE & KERRY WINKLER
Grand Traverse
WOMAN northern michigan’s magazine for women
Volume 17, No. 1 SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2019 Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22 Interlochen, MI 49643 tel: 231.276.5105 www.grandtraversewoman.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/grandtraversewoman
WORKSHOP
WE ARE EXCITED to launch a new endeavor for GTWoman—a series of educational workshops for women. We may not quite be reinventing the wheel here, but you’ll be glad to know that GTWoman put some serious thought into what these workshops should look like.
BUELLER? … BUELLER?... ANYONE? There will definitely not be a bored teacher standing at the front of the room. We may, however, orchestrate a parade float outside the window carrying your delinquent children. But you’ll be too riveted by Anne Bonney, our speaker extraordinaire, to notice. Anne is known for her short, red hair… but this summer she shaved her head for a fundraising event. And when it grew back in light and spikey, we decided we had to capture this jaunty edition of Anne. We set her up with Sarah Brown for a Friday afternoon laughfest, and they captured new images. Kudos to Anne for showing up in a white pant suit to bring it all together. So while Anne’s new hair may be as short as the monotone teacher’s in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, rest assured, she’ll have everyone’s attention.
TWO-FER Deciding on the topic of our first workshop took about five minutes: Leadership. But we realized one workshop wouldn’t be enough, not with those pants and that hair. We decided to book Anne for two events—look for her at our Nov. 13 workshop, too. We’re not sure what the topic will be yet, but we can tell you this: Hanging out with Anne always results in something fun and fabulous. She’s presented at a previous GTWoman Luncheon and held small one-on-one workshops for the GTWoman crew. When Anne enters the room, it’s like a burst of color (not always red—not anymore) has come into your life. Get ready for these kinds of thoughts: What will she say next? What kinds of changes can I make to chase new goals? And, most common of all: Could I pull off hair like that? So if you’re looking to make your business
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Sept/Oct '19
NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY
prep
PUBLISHERS Kandace Chapple Kerry Winkler EDITOR Kandace Chapple, kandace@grandtraversewoman.com ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Kerry Winkler, kerry@grandtraversewoman.com
life better, smarter, and white pant-suit-ier, please find time to join us!
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Deb Dent, deb@grandtraversewoman.com Sherry Galbraith, sherry@grandtraversewoman.com Lori Maki, lori@grandtraversewoman.com Laura Miller, laura@grandtraversewoman.com
MOON SEATS
ASSISTANT EDITOR Eva Nienhouse, eva@grandtraversewoman.com
We wondered, should we arrange the tables in a traditional school room setting? We wanted this badly because we are, in fact, nerds. Nothing like a clean row of desks, the smell of paper and pencils, and a bunch of notes needing to be taken. But what about bonding and icebreaking and foodpartaking? This would not be a traditional experience, we decided. (Especially after we figured out we had a larger inventory of round tables than rectangle.) Hence, the half-moon layout was born. Women will be seated at half of each round table, smiley-face style, facing Anne and her new hair. In the center, we predict, there will be a colliding of energy unlike any workshop ever known to (wo)mankind.
LORD, NO Icebreaker. The cringe rating on this particular word is high. But we promise, our icebreakers are special. You’ll be seated with 4-5 other women, but first we’ll ply you with cinnamon rolls, breakfast sandwiches, and fruit and granola parfaits in the historic Kirkbride Hall. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying yourself. You’ll be lulled into a false sense of security. You’ll make a friend or two and find a seat with someone you like. And, then, when you least expect it, you’ll be asked to shake hands or say your name, or worse, write two truths and a lie on an index card. You’ll feel betrayed, angry and reluctant. Just kidding. Our icebreakers will be incredible. We are sure of it. Laughter and joy will fill the room and new connections will be made. A huge, glowing happiness will come over everyone, and we’ll have to remember that Anne is actually here to teach us something. We’ll have to break up rowdy groups that develop, assign seats and move the troublemakers up front next to those with the worst eyesight (us). Because we don’t want Anne to have to say it… Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?
COPY EDITOR Christine Kurtz DESIGNER Bethany Gulde, bethany@grandtraversewoman.com COVER McKenzie Gallagher and her family in their vineyard, Rove Estate, in Leelanau County. See her story of strength on page 20. Photo by Grace Hudson, Captured by Grace Photography www.gracehudsonphotography.com PHOTOGRAPHERS Sarah Brown, Sarah Brown Photography www.sarahbrown-photography.com Scarlett Piedmonte, Photography by Scarlett www.photobyscarlett.com Beth Price, Beth Price Photography www.bethpricephotography.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Janice Beyer Anne Bonney McKenzie Gallagher Leslie Hamp Sheri Lindsay Mia Munroe Eva Nienhouse Juliette Schultz Sarah Sergent Carrie Sharpe Bridgette Silva Jamie Staley Anne Stanton Teri Yunus ADVERTISING Kerry Winkler at 231.276.5105 or kerry@grandtraversewoman.com Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for rates. SUBSCRIPTIONS Cost: $20 (for 6 issues) Subscriptions may be purchased online at www.grandtraversewoman.com or mail a check to: Grand Traverse Woman P.O. Box 22, Interlochen, MI 49643 ARTICLES/PRESS RELEASES Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for guidelines. MISSION STATEMENT Grand Traverse Woman is a bimonthly magazine dedicated to the interests of women in the five-county region. Our mission is to provide women with a publication that is educational and inspirational. We strive to maintain a positive, well-balanced and genuine forum for women's issues. © Copyright 2019 Grand Traverse Woman LLC All rights reserved.
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Grand Traverse Woman
Locals receive 20% off during September
Locals Apprecation Month
We value our local clients and appreciate your business. To thank you, we are offering locals 20% off spa treatments during September! As a part of your spa experience, enjoy our indoor pools, hot tubs, sauna and health club. * Certain restrictions may apply. Not valid on salon services, waxing and eyelash extensions. Offer expires September 30, 2019.
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Sept/Oct '19
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Grand Traverse Woman
HOW TO BE AN
amazing networker AVOID THESE
4
BEHAVIORS
BY CARRIE SHARPE
I RECENTLY asked the Facebook community members at my communication and
BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY
speaking business “He Says, She Says,” what networking behaviors drive them crazy. Networking is a hot topic, and this proved it! It seems we've all experienced some pretty lousy networking tactics over the years, and it's time to put a stop to it. Networking takes a lot of time and energy, so don't waste yours on ineffective (and totally cringe-worthy!) tactics. If you want to get good results from your networking efforts, stop these behaviors immediately:
1. MAKING IT ALL ABOUT YOU. If you spend the entire networking event talking about yourself and your needs, you've missed an opportunity to develop connections and relationships with others (which is the actual point of networking). If most of your sentences start with "I," you might be making it all about you. Veronica Staudt, the owner of an online boutique, shared an experience from a networking event she’d been looking forward to. The highlight of the event was that she would get to meet and hear one woman in particular speak. “She never showed up to the event. In fact, the organizers then said, 'You can still speak and network with her at an after-party,' which was all the way across town,” Staudt explained. She made the trek, but once she got to the after-party, the speaker networked with people for only 30 minutes before leaving. Be aware of the expectations and needs of others. Life coach Kathryn Young said the worst thing to do is always to have your hand out for sales and leads, but to do nothing to help others: “I tell my group: Be of service first. Build a relationship. Networking is a long game. Play it well."
2. BEING ON YOUR PHONE Speaker and author Sasha Gray said: "When you're at a networking event, and some people never get up out of their seat or off of their phone, you wonder who is sending them to this event, and if they are just there for the food. When I go to an event specifically for networking, I want to meet as many people as I can, make connections with as many as possible, and be able to follow up with them that week. If I never see your face, I can't do that."
3. TALKING TOO LONG
trating thing we ran into was a complete lack of respect for time limitations. Each person was allowed 30 seconds for an elevator pitch. I had a timer set to go off at 30 seconds, then another 10 seconds and then another 5 seconds. There were always a couple people who felt those rules never applied to them. Networking isn’t just about getting your name out there. It’s also about showing due respect to others, including honoring their time.”
4. ‘FRIENDING’ SOMEONE FOR A SALE Sunit Suchdev, a holistic life coach, shared this example of getting a private message on Instagram after following someone new: "They instantly [sent] me a robotic automated message thanking me for the follow and asking if I’d like to buy their product. It’s clear that they haven’t done any research on who I am or what I do,” Suchdev said. Virtual assistant Lori Evans added: "Two days ago I was invited to a group for curvy singles. I’m neither single nor particularly curvy. I declined the invite. Today I was invited again. So I had no choice but to unfriend the person who invited me. I’d also never spoken to this person before." Jen Snyder, a Christian-driven life coach, gave perhaps the most poignant summary of a hard-sell gone wrong: "Hi! I haven’t talked to you since first grade, but I see you’re fat now. Would you like to try my MLM product?" OMG. Networking is a vital business-building skill that we all need to master. Knowing which behaviors to avoid is essential to success. Carrie Sharpe is a communication consultant, speaker and the co-owner of He says, She says. She also co-hosts the Speaking with Ryan & Carrie Sharpe podcast and develops courses in communication and public speaking skills. Carrie is a Huffington Post contributor and has been quoted in a variety of publications, including Forbes, Business Insider and Bustle. She resides in Northern Michigan with her husband, Ryan, and their five children. She homeschools her children and works from home. Visit www.ryancarriesharpe.com for more on Carrie.
Networking should serve to increase your trust factor with others, but if you are rude, obnoxious or oblivious to social cues, you'll blow it. "It's hard when you're trying to network at an event and the person you're speaking with is missing the social cues that you'd like to wrap up the conversation. At that point, you must become much more obvious (and potentially a bit awkward) so that you can have other conversations," said author Suzanne Brown. Susan Whitehead, a lifestyle coach and author, said: Grand Traverse “I used to help facilitate the weekly networking group WOMAN for our local chamber of commerce. The most frus-
Luncheons
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Sept/Oct '19
Carrie and Ryan Sharpe will be speaking at our October 16th GTWoman Luncheon. The topic is Networking—How to Do it Well (and Avoid Burnout!). The event is 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at The Hagerty Center. Tickets are $35 or 2/$60 and include plated luncheon, mingling, booths and keynote speaker. Visit www.grandtraversewoman.com for tickets or to purchase booth space and become a vendor.
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Grand Traverse Woman
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Sept/Oct '19
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Grand Traverse Woman
THE WILDFIRE OF
LONELINESS BY EVA NIENHOUSE
“Yes, oh my gosh, YES!” I said. I felt warm all over, joy racing through my veins at lightspeed. “Thank you so much, Ally. I’m so excited!” The year-long early career program accepts less than 2 percent of its applicants. Pages serve as ambassadors to NBCUniversal and work in various assignments within the company’s expansive portfolio, from publicity to show development. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d smiled so big. I’d completed three rounds of interviews, including the final interview for which I’d flown out to Los Angeles about two weeks prior. I couldn’t believe it.
PROUD After I hung up, I looked up at the East Lansing sky, the clouds gray and heavy, rain on its way. I’d done it. To someone else, someone I’d only met once, I mattered. And I’d been good. I ran back into the building, my feet not moving fast enough for my beating heart. I found my friend Kelsey in the lab and stood there just for a moment, breathless. She looked at me and smiled. “YOU GOT IT, DIDN’T YOU?!” she shouted, her voice bright and proud. “OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT!!!” We laughed then and she gave me a hug. Kelsey was the one who’d encouraged me to apply to the program, and we applied together. She’d been happy for me when I made it to the third round and she hadn’t, and I know I would have felt the same had the roles been reversed. Kelsey was a true friend.
WORK EVA GIVES MOM, WENDY, A TOUR OF THE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS BACKLOT IN APRIL 2017.
IT WAS the end of April in 2016, and in a week I’d graduate from Michigan State University. I’d completed my journalism undergraduate degree in three years, motivated to chase down my Southern California dream—of palm trees and entertainment, big sunglasses and red carpets. I was going to make it.
ALLY’S CALL The week before I walked the stage at the Breslin Center, I received a call from Ally, the manager for the West Coast’s NBC Page Program. I was finishing up a final project at the communications building on campus with a group of other senior students, all of us tired and more than ready to put on our gowns the next Friday. I wondered how I’d decorate the top of my cap. I’d already ruled out “She believed she could, so she did.” It was overdone. I ran outside to answer the call, where there was less buzzy “senioritis” in the air. “Hello?” I answered, grateful I could hide my shaky hands. “Hi there, Eva,” Ally said, her voice warm and light. She didn’t rush her words. Unlike me. “Hi-Ally-how-are-you??!!” I replied, my nerves mashing all the words into one. “I’m well, thank you. I’m so happy to inform you that you’ve been accepted into the program,” she said then. “Do you accept?”
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It all happened so fast. That June my mom and dad helped me make the move to Los Angeles for the job. My first real job. I’d always wanted to work in entertainment, and I still couldn’t believe that I was a part of that world so soon. I began working almost as soon as I arrived. I learned about the business of entertainment, television, publicity and programming. I gave tours of the news center on the studio lot, and I helped prep for red-carpet events and premieres. I made a few friends, but after training, we didn’t see each other often. Life in L.A. was different than my life where I’d grown up in Traverse City. Not bad, just different. I learned fast that the freeways had numbers, like 101 and 405, and that it was quicker to order a pair of scissors from Amazon than figure out which number led to the nearest craft store. Also, there really were cars everywhere—nice ones. And people everywhere—not always so nice. Smog was real, and so was sunshine, a commodity rare in Northern Michigan.
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Grand Traverse Woman
I knew this place was different. But I could get used to traffic—and I did. I could get used to smog and sunshine—and I did. But there was something that I wasn’t sure I could get used to, something that felt wrong and sad and heartbreaking, all at once. And that was the loneliness, my own personal wildfire, spreading slowly in me.
MY WILDFIRE Throughout high school and college, I’d always been independent. I didn’t mind being alone, and I enjoyed my time to sing with no one listening and to dream quietly. But I loved sharing life with my friends and family, too, and I found comfort knowing they were never too far away. Now that I was a four-hour plane ride from my mom and dad and friends like Kelsey, I realized what it felt like to be really, truly alone. I was learning what a lonely wildfire felt like, and I’d never felt more trapped. I felt the smoke grow in me and suffocate my strength. I watched the flames of loneliness wreck my happy and obliterate my brave. I wasn’t sure how I’d ever spare my heart. It was so hard to feel like myself in a place where I was completely on my own. In a place that had beautiful hills to hike, but where I never saw a familiar face. Where there were dozens of canyons to explore, but none of my most-dear company to adventure with. But I knew that I was where I had to be. If I wanted to work in entertainment, I had to be here. And these things were just new. They wouldn’t always be so new. Would they?
A COMPANION I longed to find a companion, to feel a familiarity in something, even if the presence wasn’t human. And so I ran the canyons. I ran everything that was unfamiliar until I recognized it again. I ran to the neighborhood that had the house that reminded me of home. I ran up the hill that mom knew, too, that we drove together on her last visit, so I could tell her I saw it that day. I ran to the setting sun and I ran to its rising. I ran to find the smile that hadn’t sprouted in days. I ran to look for the laugh I’d misplaced. And I ran away from the loneliness that was starting to hurt. I ran to escape the confusion I felt: that this place wasn’t what I thought. I ran to silence the yelling that came so loud, that said I wasn’t adjusting the right way. I ran to escape the terror that left me alone with my thoughts. My life in Los Angeles wasn’t what I thought it would be. Entertainment wasn’t the magical industry of my dreams, and my work didn’t fill me up the way I’d hoped it would. The West Coast wasn’t meant for me, I realized, and it was so hard not to feel like I’d failed.
HOME I finished out my year-long program, and, when I came home to Michigan to take a breather, my health had suffered more than I’d let myself feel. I made an appointment with my physician, and she confirmed my clinical depression. She ordered blood work so she could best address my physical condition. My results came a day later. I learned my complete blood count (CBC) was dangerously low. The expected hemoglobin range of a healthy person is between 12.0 and 16.0 grams per deciliter (g/dL). My HBC was 6.8 g/dL. My body was having a hard time getting oxygen from my lungs to the rest of my body. My white and red blood cell counts were very low, too. “If you had continued to run, I am worried you would have had a heart attack,” my doctor said. My heart was working too hard. I ended up needing a blood transfusion and three rounds of iron infusions. I learned, then, how physical depression is. Depressed, I hurt more physically than I ever had. My sadness consumed my brain, my soul and my body.
HEARTS AND WILDFIRES Loneliness burrowed me deep into depression, and depression broke my heart. I was empty of happiness, and my physical body was empty, too. I lost my blood—not in a car crash or tragic accident—but to depression. To this day, that thought is still hard for me to conceptualize. Mental health is physical health. Had I not come home, I know my story would be different, and I don’t forget this. Hearts can’t continue to beat without blood. After my transfusion and iron infusions, I slowly began to heal physically. Still, the darkness of who I’d lost out West weighed heavily on me, and I found it helpful to talk to someone. My experience was hard to process alone; sifting through its ashes, harder still. It is true, though, what they say about wildfires: the most spectacular, most beautiful growth doesn’t come until after everything has burned. Eva Nienhouse is a writer and the assistant editor at Grand Traverse Woman Magazine. She started Red Sled Productions, where she creates brief, meaningful videos for both businesses and individuals alike. In her free time, Eva enjoys yoga, running and biking, and when it’s not frozen, swimming in the bay. Her favorite thing to do is write. Connect with Eva at eva@redsledproductions.com.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Sept/Oct '19
9
Grand Traverse Woman
Many people hate networking. It can be awkward, painful even. Sometimes it’s useless, unproductive and a colossal waste of time. Networking burnout ensues. It becomes a chore or just a “checkmark in the box” with no results. No more.
Luncheons Grand Traverse WOMAN
BETH PRICE PHOTOGRAPHY
Wed, Oct 16th 11am-1pm
Networking:
What it is, what it isn’t, and how to make it worth your time Speakers
Ryan and Carrie Sharpe—husband and wife duo, communication consultants, speakers and podcast hosts—will help you master networking so it’s effective, rewarding and an opportunity you look forward to!
Ryan and Carrie Sharpe
Putting a fresh spin on networking, Ryan and Carrie will teach you: • What networking is, and what it isn’t • Ways to turn networking burnout into networking fervor • How to develop a plan for success for each and every networking event you attend • Practical tips for transforming awkward small talk into productive conversations • How men and women tackle networking events differently, and ways to use that to your advantage Ryan and Carrie have been married 22 years, have 5 children, and have utilized the power of networking to reach thousands across the globe with their business, He says, She says. Join this hilarious husband-and-wife team for our GTWoman luncheon on Wednesday, Oct. 16, and learn how to make networking work for you!
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
NETWORKING | VENDOR BOOTHS | PLATED LUNCH LOCATED AT HAGERTY CONFERENCE CENTER
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Sept/Oct '19
LUNCH TICKETS: $35/EACH OR 2 FOR $60 VENDOR BOOTHS: $185 (INCLUDES 2 LUNCH TIX)
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Grand Traverse Woman
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Sept/Oct '19 11
Grand Traverse Woman
Free toRun HOW I OVERCAME
HEROIN ADDICTION BY SARAH SERGENT
THIS YEAR, I crossed the finish line of the Bayshore Marathon for the first time. And as I did, I was filled with gratitude and disbelief. I never thought someone like me could fulfill this seemingly unattainable goal. You see, most people who meet me today have no idea that seven and a half years ago, I was an IV heroin addict. I was hopeless, homeless and broken—mentally, physically and spiritually.
SECRETS I always lived in secret. Growing up in a small town, everyone knew my family, but no one knew my secrets. I was molested at an early age, and because of my trauma, I formed an unfortunate survival skill; no matter what I was going through, I acted as though everything was fine. I smiled and white-picket-fenced it. Throughout school, I dove into studies, sports, work and every extracurricular activity I could. I made sure to keep every minute of the day busy so I would not have free time to think about my inner struggles. From the ages of 16 to 19, however, I faced multiple back fractures and surgeries, and at one point I had a blood clot in my leg. With my injuries, it was harder to busy my body. I let go of all my established coping strategies and felt completely lost. I found myself alone in my deep pit of despair, the one I had so desperately spent my life trying to conceal.
VICES I found comfort in drugs and alcohol for years. No one knew how bad my addiction had become, except for the people I used with. My motto became, “There’s no happy ending for someone like me.” The first time I overdosed, I was in a gas station parking lot. I had been abusing narcotic medications and heroin for approximately four years, but this was my first time using an IV. I’d snorted the drugs until that day. I thought, “If this is how I die, it’s not like I meant to do it. It would just be so easy.” After the drug injection, I walked into the gas station building for a drink. Inside, I collapsed and stopped breathing. I’d go on to overdose another time, also at a gas station. In both instances, EMTs saved me with a naloxone/Narcan admission.
AFTER OVERDOSING After my overdoses, I woke up feeling embarrassed and full of shame. I’d been with other people at the time of my overdose and they took my purse, so there was no contact information for the EMTs or police to notify my direct family. I was held at the hospital for a few hours. Then, with no guidance on how to get help for myself, I was released. At that time, I do not believe hospital staff was adequately trained to provide patients with resources or show compassion to someone like me. Both times after leaving the hospital, my only thought was to use again. It is terrifying to me that even after overdosing, I continued to use. I had no control over my addiction.
HOPE IN THE DARK For years, I’d wake up and say, "This is the day I stop.” Within hours, though, I’d use. Finally, on March 26, 2012, as I hid in a dark, musty room, sticking a needle in my arm, I had a thought. A little glimmer of hope. “What if I ask for help, just this one time?” It was my turning point, and I can’t even explain where it came from. The next moment, I found myself drafting a message to a friend. “Please come get me and take me to my dad’s because I am a drug addict and need help,” I wrote.
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Sept/Oct '19
SARAH AFTER HER FIRST BAYSHORE MARATHON RUN.
I hit “Send.” I had used drugs for nine years, but I knew then that there was no turning back. I walked out of that dark room, threw away my drugs and started my recovery journey. Since that day, I have not used any drugs or alcohol.
HELP My family helped me get into a treatment center. I will never forget what they told me: “We love you and are here to support you as long as you are willing to do the work and focus on your recovery,” they said. “We will not hold your past against you, and will do everything we can to help you succeed.” My family loved me even when I couldn’t love myself. They gave me the courage to be open and honest about my past, and they gave me a place to stay. They drove me to every 12-step meeting, therapy and doctor appointment I had.
REHAB After 14 days in rehab, I was discharged. I wasn’t ready to leave, but I was only funded for those days. The day after I was released, I remember calling the facility. I was struggling not to use and had called for help. I begged to be let back in. The man I was speaking with told me I didn't seem that bad since I wasn't using yet. "If I use, this call doesn't happen again,” I told him. “What happens is someone finds my body in a ditch.” After four hours of pleading, I was authorized to re-enter treatment.
REBUILDING SPIRITUALLY In early recovery, I was introduced to the first steps of building a healthy lifestyle. I began working a 12-step program in all areas of my life. I focused on connecting with my higher power and processing my emotions and traumas.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman Spiritually, mentally and emotionally, I was building myself back up. But, I still had to deal with the toll that years of addiction had taken on my body. After being clean for nine months, I made the decision to work on my physical health.
RECOVERING PHYSICALLY On my 29th birthday, after completing a physical and blood work, I found out I had Hepatitis C. I was so ashamed. I didn’t want to tell anyone, but I knew that secrets kept me sick. So at my meeting that night, I told everyone. My Hepatitis C treatment was vigorous. After 12 pills a day, weekly injections and biweekly blood transfusions, I had no appetite, lost weight and my hair fell out in clumps. I experienced every possible side effect. After six months I was cured, but my body was weak and frail.
GETTING STRONGER I decided to start simple and began walking my dogs every morning. In the afternoon, I’d go for a jog. Eventually I worked up to running five miles a day. When a friend in recovery told me about a 10-mile race, I committed to doing it with her. I loved how I felt, so I kept running. Running for me Running a marathon had been a lifelong goal, but I thought it was out of reach. Until last year. I saw people running the Bayshore and I decided to go for it. Even if I had to walk across the finish line, I was going to do it. I signed up and started training. I used to hate running. It was a coping skill to make me look good—part of the white picket fence picture I put up for other people. But the marathon was just for me. My next big race will be the North Country Trail Run in Manistee in August 2020. The 50-mile ultra run is terrifying to think about, but I have a full year to train and I am determined to do it!
BACK ROW: SARAH’S SISTERS, RACHEL MICHALSKI AND CHELSEA HAINES FRONT ROW: SARAH, MOTHER DONNA SCHNEIDER AND SISTER BECKY WILLIAMS
SAVED Getting from where I was when I sent my friend that text to where I am now has been a series of small, meaningful moments and tiny victories. What matters is not what I did then—it’s what I can do today. Today, I’m a Certified Peer Recovery Coach and Community Health Worker. I’m active in the 12-step community and an advocate for people struggling with addiction. While training people on the life-saving overdose medication naloxone/Narcan, some have asked, “Why should we keep bringing these people back, again and again?” I tell them that I was revived numerous times. Someone always saved me. Someone should always be saved. Sarah Sergent is an avid runner, outdoor enthusiast and mushroom hunter. She currently lives in Traverse City with her boyfriend and her dog. She is the Peer Recovery Coach at Traverse Health Clinic. Get in touch with Sarah at ssergent@traversehcc.org.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Sept/Oct '19 13
Grand Traverse Woman
Are you ready to become a better leader? THIS INTERACTIVE WORKSHOP IS FOR: • Managers who avoid vital conversations to avoid hurt feelings. • Leaders who want to motivate their teams without pushing them away. • Supervisors who want to delegate without putting more work on their own plates.
SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY
• Those looking to grow their skills and advance in their careers.
LEADERSHIP
LEARN 3 CORE COMPONENTS TO LEADERSHIP: Delegation, Motivation and Communication. This personal and interactive workshop breaks down these 3 skills into tactical bites, sending you off with action items in each area. You will become known as a leader who gets results, and (bonus!) the leader everyone wants to work with. Join us for a 2-hour workshop with a smart (funny, sparkling, powerful) presentation, local vendors, a breakfast and a morning of networking with area leaders. You’ll leave happy!
GTWOMAN WOR KS HOP
SPEAKER: ANNE BONNEY
Thursday, Sept. 19 8:30-11:30 a.m. Kirkbride Hall
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
2-hour Workshop & Breakfast OUR SPEAKER: Anne Bonney has been called the Change Ninja and travels the country as a John Maxwell Team certified speaker, trainer and coach who specializes in empowering people to take on change. Anne has 20 years in leadership and educational roles with Under Armour, Les Mills International, Town Sports International and The New England Aquarium. She is the assistant director of the longest running Rotary high school leadership conference in the U.S. and is the co-founder of a women’s empowerment conference called Breaking My Boundaries. 14
Sept/Oct '19
Register online today at www.grandtraverseewoman.com $79 each or 2+ tickets are $69 each. Vendor booths available. www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
All New SELF SERVICE DOG WASH STATION
We know how difficult bathing your dog at home can be. That’s why we are now providing an ALL NEW professional self-serve dog wash for you to use. Washing your dog is finally convenient!
Includes: •Choice of Shampoo: hypoallergenic, deep cleaning, and flea and tick •Choice of Conditioner: hypoallergenic itch relief, and moisturizing •Forced air-dryer •Towels (limit 2 per dog) •Variety of brushes •Waterproof aprons Call ahead to schedule appointment!
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Grand Traverse Woman
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Here at The Riv, We LOVE Events! Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Cocktail Parties, Holidays, Birthdays, Special Groups, On-Site, Pick-Up, Delivery Great Banquet Space for up to 150 Guests right here at The Riv! Custom Menus, Buffets, Coursed Meals, A La Carte, and More! Unique Offerings and Experiences! Work hand in hand with Chelsea, our dedicated Event Coordinator, to make sure your next event is a hit!
ben@torchriviera.com ::: 231.676.7416 Sept/Oct '19
5k Run/Walk or 1-Mile Wellness Walk
TRAVERSE CITY TRACK CLUB PRESENTS
The Vein Center is moving to a new location on September 9th, 2019: 872 Munson Avenue Suite C (The Green Square Building), TC
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26th Annual
REMEMBRANCE RUN
Terri Armstrong, CISR
112 E. 4th St. Ste. 1 Elk Rapids, MI 49629
TRAVERSE CITY TRACK CLUB PRESENTS
5k Run/Walk or 1-Mile Wellness Walk Sunday, Oct 6th, 2019 Timber Ridge • 12:00pm 5k and 1-mile trail tour to support the Munson Women’s Cancer Fund and raise money for women with breast cancer. NEW this year: An option to sign up for timing and age group competition.
OCT 6, 2018 - TIMBER RIDGE
5k and 1-mile trail tour to support the Grand Traverse Munson Women’s Cancer Fund and raise WOMAN money for women with breast cancer.
Info and sign-up at tctrackclub.com
Info and sign-up at tctrackclub.com www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
After working as a school social worker for
BACK TO SCHOOL: How GVSU’s educational leadership program fit my schedule
one course, other semesters I was able to fit in two courses.
more than a decade, I decided to pursue my adminOur work in class blended theory, research and istrative degree in education. practice from general and special education. I esI loved working with students, but wanted to work pecially enjoyed the diversity of my classes, which in a different capacity, specifically with adults and included a mix of general education and special systems to support better outcomes for students. education professionals. That meant going back to school, not an easy decision considering I was working full-time and my We were given a class project on a current state husband and I had two sons who were 5 and 7 at or local policy in Michigan. That turned to be a real asset for my work at Traverse Bay Area Intermediate the time. School District and the districts we serve. I chose I spent a lot of time researching different degree to focus on a policy approved by the State Board of programs online and in person at Northwestern Education on the use of emergency seclusion and Michigan College’s University Center. What I found restraint. I created guidance documents and a deconfirmed what my colleagues had told me: Grand veloped a training structure for school staff. Valley State University’s educational leadership Later a colleague and I gave a presentation on program would be a good fit. the material at the annual Michigan Association They were not wrong. of School Administrators conference and it was well-received. Almost immediately, I saw direct application from my coursework to my everyday work in serving I thoroughly enjoyed my program at Grand Valley. I school districts, students and families. I also liked appreciated the dedication of the faculty members the program’s flexibility. Some semesters I took and their real-life expertise.
Brooke Laurent is the service area supervisor for special education and behavior department supervisor for the Traverse Bay Area
Intermediate School District. She earned a bachelor’s degree from
Adrian College and a master’s degree in social work from the University of Michigan prior to earning a certif icate in K-12 administration and special education supervision from Grand Valley State University.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
More information about Grand Valley’s educational leadership program is online at gvsu.edu/traverse, by phone (231) 995-1785 or emailing nminfo@gvsu.edu
Sept/Oct '19 17
Grand Traverse Woman
WHO? There are many reasons to delegate: • To take advantage of someone’s strength • To give someone the opportunity to try something new and learn • To give someone a task he or she enjoys or that has greater visibility within the company • To allow you to focus on items that require your specific expertise and authority When considering to whom to give a task, think about the above reasons. Ask yourself if you need quick and efficient output, or if it’s a great development opportunity. Trusting a new person with a new project can be scary, but it could be an opportunity to see what she can do. And if you nail the rest of this setup, she’ll have a greater chance for success. One warning: When it comes to the “who,” we often have our go-to person, that one team member who always delivers good, quality work on time. Often, we rely too heavily on that person, and that can be demotivating for him or her. The reward for good work is… more work! On the flip side, if the work is desirable, it can be demotivating for the rest of the team; they never get the chance to learn and shine. Beware of singling out anyone. It can really compromise your effectiveness as a motivating leader.
WHAT? SARAH BROWN PHOTOGRAPHY
What is the task you need completed? What are your expectations? What does success look like? Be super clear on this. Have you ever been asked to do something, but walk away with no idea exactly what is wanted? It’s confusing, disorienting and demotivating! If you want someone to be motivated to complete your task well and on time, be sure he understands what you need him to do. Ask the team if they have any questions and make yourself available for questions along the way.
WHEN?
BOSSYPANTS HOW TO DO IT WELL BY ANNE BONNEY
“THE greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. The greatest leader is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.” – Ronald Reagan Many leaders fail when it comes to effective delegation in the workplace. Whether they have an inherent distrust for their people, a death grip on control, or a lack of comfort giving direction, delegation is one of most challenging leadership skills to get right. But when they do, their team fires on all cylinders. The first step to effective delegation is nailing the setup. It takes a little planning and some time, but it gets easier the more you do it. And in the end, your time invested will be worth it. When you’re planning to delegate, ask yourself who, what, when, why and how.
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By when do you need the task completed? BE SPECIFIC HERE! I can’t stress that enough. “ASAP” might mean by 3 p.m. today for you, and it might mean by next week for your delegate. “When you can” for you might mean by the end of the week, but for your chosen “who,” that could be next January! Be specific with date and time if applicable. In my leadership workshops, sometimes managers say they’re uncomfortable being bossy. Saying “I need this by Friday” feels bossy. If that’s the case, explain your project and timeline. How about saying, “This research is to prepare for the staff meeting a week from Friday, and I’ll need to plug it into my presentation. Can you get it to me by this Friday? That would give me time to incorporate it and practice so I can make our team look good in front of the company. Will Friday work for you?” Giving someone the reason for the deadline will give her a sense of urgency and asking if it works for her will make it seem less bossy. Be ready for: “No, but I can get it to you Monday.” You might need to compromise, but at least you won’t appear bossy. It also works to ask your delegate when she can get it done. If the delegate comes up with the date, she’ll be more committed to it. You won’t feel like a bossypants, either. You can negotiate more toward the date you want if necessary.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
WHY? This is a big one. Adults like to know why things are happening. It helps them put the task into context so they don’t think it’s just busy work. When your team understands what the end goal is, it also helps them problem solve. Be sure to let them know why something needs to be completed.
HOW? Lastly, if at all possible, let them decide how they’re going to do the task. As the old saying goes, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”, and we all have our favorite way. (ok, that’s kind of a morbid analogy, and I’ve never actually done that, but you know what I’m saying.) As managers, sometimes we have to let go of our death grip on control and allow someone to do a task their way. It may not be the way we’d do it, and we may think our way is more efficient or better, but if their way gets you to the end goal you need, gets the task off your plate, and was done in their way, they’ll feel better about the outcome, trusted and empowered, and you just killed 2 birds with one stone. WINNER!
Join us for a 2-hour Workshop & Breakfast with Speaker Anne Bonney!
LEADERSHIP
GT WOMAN WOR K S HOP
Thursday, Sept. 19 8:30-11:30 a.m. Kirkbride Hall
Follow these five guidelines when planning your delegation, and you’ll have a much better chance at success. It takes a little time to plan and be ready for the delegation, but it’s a worthy investment for ease in the future. Your team will feel successful and empowered, and you’ll have more time to focus on bigger priorities.
Anne Bonney is a change expert, leadership trainer, professional speaker and author who resides in Traverse City. After a 20-year career in leadership and education roles ranging from Boston to Tucson, she left corporate to share her energetic, fun approach to positive leadership with audiences. She is thrilled to facilitate a leadership seminar on September 19 for Grand Traverse Woman Magazine and looks forward to seeing you there! Visit her at www.annebonney.com.
October 11 -13
At the Old Art Building in Leland 111 South Main Street (M-22), Leland
The 19th Annual juried show, features fiber artists from around the region who will exhibit and sell their artwork. This show is a must-stop on the M22 Art 2 Art Tour Opening night: 5:30pm – 7:30pm Saturday: 10 am – 4 pm Sunday: 10 am – 4 pm Admission is free Also Sign up for a Braiding and Rug Hooking Class w/ Dianne Tobias October 14 & 15 from 11 am - 4 pm ~ Details at oldartbuilding.com
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Sept/Oct '19 19
Grand Traverse Woman
THE DIAGNOSIS THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
MCKENZIE AND HUSBAND, CREIGHTON, WITH CHILDREN LAYLA, BRIELLE, KYLAN AND SCARLETT.
TWO DAYS after Christmas in 2017, I got a call. To this day, I still get chills when I remember the moment my life changed forever—when my radiologist told me I had breast cancer. It’s permanently imprinted in my memory. My diagnosis truly changed everything, and as I navigated it all, I faced things I never had before. My days filled with doctor visits and cancer treatment. My body ached and changed. My heart hurt. But underneath the hard, scary, newness, I found it, and I held it tight: a sense of gratitude for the things in my life that were still so beautiful and good.
THE CALL It was Dec., 27, 2017. I was just out of the shower, and I recognized the breast center’s number. I sat down on the bed, next to my loving husband, and we gripped each other’s hands so tight it almost hurt. I put my radiologist on speaker phone. Immediately, I could hear the shadow in his voice. “McKenzie, unfortunately I do not have the news I was hoping for,” he said. “Your biopsy has confirmed that you have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.” Breast cancer.
WHIRLWIND I had been dealing with shooting pain in my right breast for about three weeks. After a visit with my obstetrician, we decided to move forward with a mammogram to “calm my fears.” To my surprise, we discovered two tumors in my breast. The biopsy confirmed that I had breast cancer, and those are the results I received on Dec. 27.
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A hormone analysis confirmed that I was triple negative. In a matter of 10 days, I went from being told I had cancer, to being diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, to immediately starting chemotherapy., I felt like I was having an out-ofbody experience. I was thrust into a foreign world of doctors, specialists and terms I had never even heard of (and truthfully could barely pronounce). Quickly, doctor’s appointments and treatment consumed my life. I was terrified for what was to come and how I would tell the people closest to me.
TRIPLE NEGATIVE
the cancer. After that simple but bone-chilling description (cue lots of tears on my part), I knew I was in for the fight of my life.
FAMILY AND FARM When I was diagnosed, my children were 2, 4, 6 and 9. The thought of not being around for them was crippling. My husband and I had also just started a business and successfully opened a winery, Rove Estate. It was our lifelong dream. We were so busy as it was, just living our lives: Kids, extracurricular activities, running our farm and managing our new winery. It just seemed so unfair that I would have to deal with something as horrible as cancer. I was young, healthy and had no family history. I remember crying in those early days, telling my husband, “I don’t have time to fight this! How in the world can our life go on without me healthy?!” But somehow, it did. We were surrounded by family, friends and even complete strangers. People reached out to help with meals, kid transportation and prayers.
I had never heard of “triple negative breast cancer.” Honestly, I had no clue how many different types of breast cancer there were before I dealt with it firsthand. But simply put, triple negative is cancer that does not have any hormone receptors. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong. As it turns out, being triple negative reduced my treatment options because doctors were unable to identify my cancer MY FIGHT cells through targeted hormone And I fought. I woke up every day therapy or drug therapy. It was with the intention to rid my body also aggressive and more likely of this dangerous disease. First, I to reoccur in the first three years MCKENZIE DURING TREATMENT. endured almost six months of intense after initial diagnosis. chemotherapy. Then in July 2018, The way my awesome “nurse navigator” I had a radical double mastectomy and recondescribed this harsh diagnosis was this: When struction surgery. I broke out in shingles on my cancer cells have hormone receptors, doctors can head from the stress and trauma three days after act like “sharp shooters” and target and destroy my surgery, and two weeks after that, I caught a those cells. But when you have no hormone post-surgical infection that left me hospitalized receptors, doctors must “drop a bomb” to kill for a week.
www.grandtraversewoman.com
CAPTURED BY GRACE
BY MCKENZIE GALLAGHER
Grand Traverse Woman
CLARITY When it came to cancer, I quickly realized that I could do all the right things, but I couldn’t control what was going to happen. I couldn’t control how my body would crumble under the chemotherapy treatment or the other challenges cancer brought me. No matter how busy I was with my “real life,” cancer didn’t care. When I realized this, all my to-do lists and priorities shifted. Instead of worrying about my business or the millions of other things out of my control, I focused on the small things. Whether it was kissing my babies at night, sipping coffee with my husband before our kids woke up, or laughing with my sisters on the phone about something silly, for the first time in a long time, I started to slow down long enough to have a meaningful conversation or share a moment with the people I loved. I found clarity. I stopped working as much, and I realized that I only have so much to give to this world. Every
ounce of energy I expended needed to go toward something meaningful to me.
LETTING GO As a business owner and mother to four children, I was innately a control freak. I always found a way to push through any obstacle life threw at me. I had to dig deep to find inner peace and strength. I submerged myself into practicing mindfulness and prayer. Instead of focusing on the trauma I was experiencing or fearing my uncertain future, I taught myself to be present in the moment. To notice my thoughts of disappointment or fear, but not to let them take over my mind. To go to bed grateful for another day, and to wake up with purpose in each new one. To make it count. As I focused on transforming my mindset, my health started to stabilize, too.
McKenzie Gallagher is from Traverse City. She and her husband, Creighton, are fifth generation cherry farmers and own Rove Estate Vineyard & Winery. She enjoys spending time near the water and the beauty of all things Northern Michigan with her four beautiful children, Layla, Scarlett, Brielle and Kylan (4, 6, 8, 11). Fresh food, fresh air and fresh thoughts are words she lives by!
CELEBRATING THIS DAY Today, less than two years since my fight began, I’m in remission. I feel very optimistic for my long-term prognosis. Of course, the fear is still there, but I have learned to work through those fears and not to let fear control me. I have the chance to be the best version of myself, and that chance is worth celebrating.
MCKENZIE IN 2019.
YOU WILL
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Sept/Oct '19 21
CAPTURED BY GRACE
All in all, I spent about a year of my life in active treatment. It was brutal, and every day was hard. I had no hair and no breasts. I felt powerless. But even through all that hardness, I truly found myself, stripped down and more vulnerable than I had ever been in my life.
Grand Traverse Woman
Working from
HOME Attracts New Staff
Shanty Creek offers new work from home opportunities BELLAIRE, MI—It’s no secret that the labor force in Michigan is competitive. Businesses have had to become creative in order to fill key roles, especially in northern Michigan’s hospitality industry. One business that has found great success by creating new Work from Home opportunities is Shanty Creek. Two years ago Shanty Creek Resort, a four-season golf and ski resort in Bellaire (midway between Traverse City, Gaylord and Petoskey) created a new role specifically to attract new candidates. Their reservations department began hiring “Remote Reservationists” and it has really made an impact. “The benefits of working Remote has provided a lot of interest [in job seekers] from a whole new sector of the workforce,” says General Manager Andrew Reh. “From stay-at-home moms to retirees looking to stay active in the workplace, we’re attracting great candidates.” While working from home is not a new concept, within the hospitality industry it’s not very common. Most roles around hotels, restaurants, golf courses, and ski slopes can’t be done
remotely. But anyone with an internet connection and a landline phone can answer guest calls and make their reservations. And like the role itself, the benefits are a bit out of the box. “Our remote reservationists are freed from expenses like daycare (childcare), filling up the gas tank weekly, extra mileage and wear-and-tear on their car, professional attire, and most importantly, time,” says Reh. And during winter, which can extend five months or more in northern Michigan, “not having to commute in the snow is an additional peace of mind.” The benefits extend beyond saving time and expenses. As members of the resort staff, remote agents (and their families!) enjoy cart-fee only rounds of golf, member ski privileges, and discounted lodging and dining—ideal for visiting friends and family. Reh continues, “We’ve found that by expanding the hiring pool, we’re both improving the quality of our team, we’re also improving our guests’ expectations and satisfaction.”
Shanty Creek is a four-season destination resort spanning 5,000 acres and three distinct villages: Summit, Schuss and Cedar River, each with lodging, dining, golf and recreation. Located in Bellaire, just 30 miles northeast of Traverse City, Shanty Creek offers a variety of vacation packages for your next Michigan getaway. Visit www.shantycreek.com. Shanty Creek is looking for motivated candidates to join their team. For more information, visit shantycreek.com/work-from-home or email info@shantycreek.com.
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Sept/Oct '19
www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
As a mother of SEVEN, I understand the importance of the details. If you are thinking of buying or selling a property, call me. You can relax and let me handle the details of your Real Estate needs.
If someone told me 2 years ago that I would be the owner, CEO, President, and Sole Proprietor of a Respiratory Home Medical Equipment company, Harbor Oxygen of Traverse City LLC, I wouldn’t have believed them. Starting my health care industry journey at age 16 working for my sister’s assisted living home, The Homesteader, having both parents being EMTs, Jamie Rockwell, RRT and having two sisters that are nurses, Owner of Harbor Oxygen you might say that health care is in my blood! So, I chose Respiratory Therapy as my career and have truly found my unique calling. After years of working the night shift at the hospital, I had to find a hobby in between rounds and during the downtime that R.T.s face. I chose crocheting. It started out as a joke to make chicken sweaters, but I soon realized the positive and humorous impact that it would have on my patients. Now, many of the elderly folks that come into my store - their life and experience etched into their faces- share stories of the impact growing older has had on them. Many of these stories are not happy ones as growing older has many mental and physical challenges but seeing their faces light up when I show them the chicken sweaters I have on display, with pictures of my farm chickens in them is truly priceless. Many grew up on farms back in the day, and you can see the memories flood back to their eyes as a smile runs across their face.
Jenni Craig REALTOR®
231.409.0994 Jenni.Craig@CBGreatLakes.com
SCHMIDT REALTORS
402 E Front Street, Traverse City, MI 49686 | Each office independently owned and operated.
The opportunity to make someone’s day a bit brighter while offering critically important in-home medical care is beyond a blessing to me. Creating community awareness of the growing needs of our elderly and the importance of in-home care for them will also be achieved through Harbor Oxygen engaging local advocacy groups. Our health is one of our most precious commodities. Helping to preserve and enhance another person’s quality of life is one of the grandest callings one could have. Taking care of one another is crucial for the health of our past, present and future generations and I’m honored to serve my patients in these ways.
Because your health is personal. 3860 N. Long Lake Road, Suite 1, Traverse City www.harboroxygen.com (231) 946-0550 www.grandtraversewoman.com
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Grand Traverse Woman G T W H E A LT H P R O F I L E
G T W H E A LT H P R O F I L E
THE CENTER FOR PL ASTIC SURGERY AND SKIN CARE
ADDICTION TREATMENT SERVICES OUR MISSION
Our mission is to promote the overall health, wellness, and recovery of individuals impacted by substance use and behavioral health issues by meeting the treatment needs of our clients and community.
VALUES
We value the diversity, ideals, culture, and beliefs of the individual. By focusing on person-centered, trauma-informed care, we are better equipped to address the biological, physiological, and social dimensions of the individuals we serve. To promote recovery across a continuum of holistic and meaningful care, we utilize evidence-based strategies with multi-faceted approaches, engaging the client and acknowledging their specific needs. As such, we believe that the best way to promote optimal health and well-being begins with acknowledging individual personalities, priorities, strengths, triumphs, and obstacles in order to provide forms of care that mirror individual needs.
Mischelle Fisher, Aesthetician, Laser Specialist Amanda Kilborn, Aesthetician, Laser Specialist Denise Loveland, Aesthetician, Laser Specialist Caroline McManus, Aesthetician, Laser Specialist Karen Tosiello, PA-C Janette Wiseman, LPN
We are doctors, therapists, case managers, social workers, chefs and more! From vastly different backgrounds, we came together with something in common: we’ve all been affected by addiction in some way, and we all want to build a healthier community. Each of us is wholeheartedly dedicated to supporting people who are working to overcome addiction and maintain an active recovery lifestyle. We’re here to help.
www.addictiontreatmentservices.org 800.622.4810
PUT YOUR FRESH FACE FORWARD
Your skin speaks volumes about your health and vitality. To refresh and restore your skin to a youthful glow, we offer a full menu of aesthetic skin care services to enhance your natural beauty. In consideration of your specific skin condition and beauty goals, our expert skin care specialists can recommend one or a combination of treatments to get you feeling fabulous. All services are performed in the comfort of our in-clinic treatment rooms and backed by our doctors, whose advice and expertise are always available upon request. • Neurotoxins (i.e. Botox) • Dermal Fillers (i.e. Juvéderm) • Microblading • Facials & Peels • Halo Laser • Forever Young BBL Laser
G T W H E A LT H P R O F I L E
MONARCH HOME HEALTH SERVICES
• Laser Hair Reduction • HydraFacial • Microneedling • Permanent Makeup • Visia Complexion Analysis
When most people think of home health services, they may imagine home visits and care for the elderly. At Monarch Home Health Services, it’s so much more. Our caregivers work with people of all ages, with many different needs. Whether it’s helping an aging adult with help around the house, providing respite care for a parent of a child with a disability, or accompanying a vacationer on his or her travels, we’re here for you. For 15 years, our mission has been to enrich the lives of every person we encounter. We work with clients and their families to design custom assistance programs to fit their needs. We go above and beyond for every client, every family member, every caregiver—every time. Our staff is highly trained to provide exceptional care, from the first phone call to every home visit thereafter.
As Northern Michigan’s premier provider of plastic surgery and aesthetic skin care, The Center for Plastic Surgery and Skin Care is focused on YOU. From the first call to the post-procedure, it’s our goal to make you feel comfortable. We take time to get to know you, reassure you and support you. We make you feel special, because you are special!
SEPTEMBER IS BOOT CAMP MONTH FOR YOUR SKIN!
Get your skin in shape with our boot camp specials:
• 20% off Any single laser – spot and multi spot not included • Buy one facial and one peel at regular price – Get a FREE cleanser of your choice • Buy 2 Voluma get one Ultra FREE • Buy 2 Lyft/Defyne get one Silk/Refyne FREE • Buy 1 Radiesse Plus get 1 Belotero at ½ off Amy Northway, President/CEO
Call us today to schedule your consultation:
231.929.7700
4110 Copper Ridge, Traverse City www.thecenterforyou.com
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We love what we do, now what can we do for you? amy@monarchhomehealth.com www.monarchhomehealth.com
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MENTAL WELLNESS COUNSELING A Holistic Mental Health Center
HEARING SOLUTIONS
At Mental Wellness Counseling we help you heal from traumatic experiences, help you strengthen your relationships and help guide you through the journey of finding the best version of yourself. Our holistic approach to mental health care focuses on treating the “whole” person: The emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and social aspects of well-being. Through talk therapy, support groups and on-site wellness services such as massage therapy and acupuncture. • • • • • • •
Anxiety Depression Anger Trauma Substance Use LGBTQ Parenting and Attachment Therapy • Teens
• • • • • • • • •
Life Transitions Marriage/Couples Addictions Spiritual Exploration Life Coaching and Goals Setting Infertility Pain Management Support and Meditation Groups On-Site Wellness Services
FROM WORRY TO WELLNESS. FROM DEPRESSION TO HAPPINESS. FROM CHAOS TO PEACE.
www.mentalwellnesscouseling.com 231.714.0282 G T W H E A LT H P R O F I L E
TRAVERSE HEALTH CLINIC TRAVERSE HEALTH CLINIC WELCOMES KAREN LOWE, MSN, FNP-BC Karen Lowe, Family Nurse Practitioner – Board Certified, is Traverse Health Clinic’s newest primary care provider. She joins an integrated team of medical and behavioral health professionals. Karen and her family recently relocated to Northern Michigan. Before joining Traverse Health Clinic, she provided primary care for patients at a busy family practice outside Karen Lowe, MSN, FNP-BC Detroit. Karen tells us, “I love caring for people of all ages. I also love caring for everyone in the family – giving patients a true ‘family practice’ experience.”
Dr. Sandra Leahy and Dr. Kathleen Sawhill, Doctors of Audiology
OUR AUDIOLOGISTS
• Offer complete diagnostic hearing services and a wide range of hearing aids • Provide the most accurate hearing aid fittings and adjustments using Real Ear verification measures • Participate with most insurances • Locally owned and operated
Schedule a complimentary initial consultation by calling 231.922.1500 or online booking available at www.hearingsolutionstc.com
Karen welcomes new patients. Her schedule includes appointment times that make it easy for busy families to get the care they need. Traverse Health Clinic accepts Medicaid, Healthy Michigan Plan, Medicare, and many private insurance plans. Uninsured patients are welcome. No one is ever turned away for not being able to pay. Sliding fee scale discounts available for those who qualify.
1719 S. Garfield Avenue Traverse City, MI 49686 www.TraverseHealthClinic.org 231.935.0799
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Conveniently located in Logan Place West in Traverse City
3241 Racquet Club Dr. Suite B, Traverse City, MI 49684 Sept/Oct '19 25
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INTEGRATIVE SKINCARE L3C
IN TOUCH HEALING AND CHIROPRACTIC CENTER Empowering Cancer Patients
Our mission is to improve quality of life for people affected by cancer, through education and integrative oncology care. We are donation based, which means people pay what they want for their services so we can continue to offer our Oncology approved services to those with cancer! Dawn Pater, Director
Feel good about looking good! We offer facials, makeup, body wraps & scrubs, lash lifts, tints and more. Not interested in services? Simply donate on line to help those in need!
To Improve Their Quality of Life Through Exercise
OPTIMIZING YOUR HEALTH WHILE PROVIDING RELIEF AND IMPROVING STABILITY.
CHIROPRACTIC: Low-force Activator instrument (and other techniques) to adjust spine/extremities.
Free Exercise Class for Cancer Patients
Our Sponsors Our Sponsors
MASSAGE THERAPY: Deep tissue, Swedish, trigger point and other techniques. CRANIOSACRAL THERAPY: Light touch method to release tensions and balance the nervous system.
Intellimarq
Grand Traverse
WOMAN
northern michigan’s magazine for women www.grandtraversewoman.com
WEB DESIGN | PRINTING | MARKETING
Intellimarq
WEB DESIGN | PRINTING | MARKETING
Phone: (231) 276-2494
www.integrativeskin.org 231.383.6800
WOMAN
northern michigan’s magazine for women www.grandtraversewoman.com
Phone: (231) 276-2494
thejourneyprogramtc.com
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TRUE TO YOU WELLNESS BY JULIE
ELK RAPIDS SKIN AND L ASER CLINIC
I support women to transform mindset, doubts, and dissatisfaction to reclaim your zest for life and love the skin you’re in! Gain emotional wellness, freedom, confidence, awareness, mindfulness, release negative self-talk and judgment, shed weight, stop the painful cycle of emotional eating, and increase your worth. And so much more! Work with me to crush your goals and follow your dreams-start living as the unmasked version of you that is already within! Live life on purpose! Julie Raborn, Certified Holistic Health, Life and Self-Love Coach
Schedule your complimentary discovery session today at www.truetoyouwellnessbyjulie.com/book-online to explore the core of why you’re not getting desired results, develop a powerful vision of the confident, energized, inspired version of you, and actions to start living as her now! True To You Wellness By Julie 231.715.8836 • truetoyouwellnessbyjulie.com truetoyouwellnessbyjulie@gmail.com
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3301 Veterans Drive, Suite 215 Traverse City, MI 49684 231.933.9388 www.intouchchiropractic.net
thejourneyprogramtc.com Grand Traverse
Sept/Oct '19
Women’s health has been a focus of my practice for many years, helping women become the best and healthiest version of themselves. Sometimes that involves losing weight for better health, disease prevention, and movement; sometimes that means facial or body treatments for better self-image. There are many treatment options available today! We offer the Ideal Protein Weight Loss Method – a quick and efficient way to lose body fat – all the while coaching and teaching patients on healthy eating habits and lifestyle management, so the weight loss is sustained. Complementary monthly seminars are offered to learn more about Dr. Ann Kuenker the program. For the past year, we have been excited to have two great light lasers (Ultra-Slim and Reveallux) that target fat and cellulite reduction, skin tightening, acne, and wound healing. Depending on the color and wavelength of light used, different results are achieved. All these treatments are both FDA approved and painless. We also offer Botox, fillers, peels, and skin care products.
Our Traverse City office is moving to a new location 872 Munson Avenue Suite C (The Green Square Building), 231.935.8346, starting September 9th, 2019. We look forward to seeing you!
Elk Rapids Skin & Laser Clinic Dr. Ann Kuenker www.youridealyouweightloss.com 231.264.0700
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THOMAS JUDD CARE CENTER
GREAT L AKES PL ASTIC SURGERY CENTER
HIV Clinic Offers Primary Care
Shawn Kintigh, NP-C, has joined Thomas Judd Care Center (TJCC), Munson’s HIV Clinic, as the new primary care provider for patients of TJCC and the PrEVENT clinic. The PrEVENT clinic offers a medication used to keep those who are HIVnegative from becoming infected. TJCC provides care to people in northern Michigan living with HIV/AIDS and to those at risk of contracting this infectious disease. The center offers medical care, support services, and prevention services. Shawn Kintigh, NP-C
Kintigh has nine years’ experience in social work and 10 years’ experience as a RN before earning a Master of Science in Nursing with a concentration in Family Nurse Practitioner, Primary Care from Purdue University Global. Founded in 1994, TJCC has case managers that help people living with HIV/AIDS from 26 counties in Northern Michigan overcome any barriers they may encounter to receiving services and achieving/maintaining viral suppression. For more information call 231-935-7548.
Emily Hedley, MSM, PA-C BE THE CHANGE
5041 N Royal Dr #1, Traverse City, MI 49684 • 231.935.7548
Hope Starts Here.
After practicing in Traverse City for eight years, Emily Hedley, MSM, PA-C, has established herself as a trusted healthcare professional. She was recently recognized by the National Committee on Certification of Physician Assistants (NCCPA) as an award winner of the Be The Change Grant. The grant was awarded to a PA who has exemplified strong involvement in the public health of the community. Grand Traverse County has one of the highest rates of melanoma in the state of Michigan. Ms. Hedley identified this as a serious concern and Great Lakes Plastic Surgery Center, PC wanted to do something proactive to address this. GLPSC provided hands free dispensers at local parks and festivals in the area to ensure that sunscreen was readily available for both residents and visitors. Although sunscreen is imperative for skin cancer prevention, excessive sun exposure can result in development of brown spots and wrinkles. Emily is a firm believer that a professional grade skincare regimen can greatly benefit the appearance of our skin. There are many different regimens necessary in order to meet the individual needs of patients. However, many times topical therapy alone is not enough to achieve the desired results. Therefore, there are additional modalities such as Botox, and other injectables available at our office. Additionally, our staff at Great Lakes Plastic Surgery Center is currently training to perform an innovative non-surgical skin treatment. This new technique is not currently being offered in Northern Michigan. We are going to be offering this service beginning this fall.
Our team of 20 compassionate professionals provide treatment for all ages and stages of life. Treatment for depression, anxiety, stress, addiction and more Individual, family and relationship counseling Evaluations and assessments
Accepting New Patients: 866.852.4001
5085 Anna Dr, Traverse City, MI 49684
Pine Rest Traverse City Clinic 1050 Silver Drive, Traverse City pinerest.org/traverse-city
www.grandtraversewoman.com
231.935.0180 glpsc.com
pinerest.org/traverse-city
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How I Survived Back-to-Back Strokes BY SHERI LINDSAY SHERI RIGHT BEFORE HER STROKES.
“WHEN you realize and accept that you are not promised tomorrow, it is so easy to say I love you. I forgive you. I miss you. I care for you.” – Rachel Wolchin I am a Michigan State Police trooper mom times two, a motivational speaker and a lady warrior. I’m also a back-to-back stroke survivor. I share my story because I hope to provide love and support to someone who needs it. I share my story to save a life.
A HARD SEASON As a busy mom of two active boys, my life completely revolved around taking care of them. I loved being a mom, running to their activities and watching them grow into wonderful young men. But I didn’t take time for myself. I didn’t feel I deserved it. I ate to find comfort, and I didn’t exercise at all. At that time, I was solely focused on being a good mom to my boys. Looking back, I should have taken better care of me. By 2012, my self-esteem and self-worth had plummeted, and my marriage was struggling. My father died at an early age from diabetes and heart disease, and I was fully aware I was heading down the same path. I just didn’t realize how far down that path I had already come.
MY FIRST STROKE On Feb. 20, 2012, my life turned upside down. I was standing at the kitchen table, working on something for my son Andrew’s hockey banquet. I felt overwhelmed and noticed my blood pressure rise. Next, my body got very warm and I felt something pop in my left eye. Right then, I completely lost vision in my left eye. I didn’t know it yet, but I was having a stroke. I knew I needed help, and, luckily, my family was there with me. Immediately, I asked them to take me to the hospital.
MY SECOND STROKE While on our way to the emergency room, which was five minutes away from our home, I felt my entire left side go numb. The pain started at my shoulder and radiated down to my left calf. The pain was unbearable. I felt scared and out-of-sorts, and I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t know it yet, but I was having another stroke. The hospital saw me right away. After some tests, the doctor told me that I had had two strokes. Unless I made a change immediately, the doctor said, holding my hand, I would not be around much longer. I stopped crying then—I was in survivor mode.
EARLY RECOVERY My strokes had changed me, leaving me with only one eye to see with and limited feeling in my legs. I had also become a Type I diabetic due to the strokes. My limitations made the recovery hard and long, but I never looked back.
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SHERI TODAY, STRONG AND SHINING BRIGHT.
As soon as I was able to, I joined an athletic club. There, my journey to recovery began on a recumbent bike. I pedaled with my right leg until I was strong enough to use both, and pulleys helped me regain strength in my arms. Within the first two weeks after my strokes, I also saw a nutritionist. She put me on a low-carb, high-protein diet and advised me to eat no more than 1,800 calories a day. For 18 months, I did just that. I fell in love with oatmeal and watched my weight drop dramatically. Once I was stronger, I began taking kickboxing classes and Krav Maga, a mixed-martial art for self-defense. Trying new forms of exercise helped tone my body as I lost weight and gave me the strength and confidence to stick to my diet. My workouts were (and still are) a daily priority.
SUPPORTED Watching my body change and regain the strength I’d lost was very emotional for me. I was so afraid that I would have lasting deficits. Although I knew I could never go backward, the unknown was scary. My boys were the support I needed. My sons helped me with weight training and nutrition, as well as providing more hugs, love and encouragement than I could have dreamed of. They are my heroes. I truly couldn’t have recovered without the loving support of my family and friends.
RECOVERED AND EMPOWERED Five months after my strokes, my vision returned, and in February and March of 2019, I had cataract surgery on each of my eyes. My vision is beautiful now. It took two and a half years for me to lose weight the proper way, balancing diet and exercise. I worked so hard not only to strengthen my body, but also to build my self-confidence. I know now that I am strong, beautiful and empowered, and I embrace my 56 years with all that I am.
BEGINNING AGAIN Three years after my strokes, I had enough strength to leave my marriage.
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It was time. After I moved into my new home, my son Andrew sat me down. “Mom, you need to learn to love and trust God before you can love yourself or anyone else,” he told me. “You need to find a purpose.” I have learned so much from my boys, and after Andrew said those words, my new life began. I started a pet care business for senior and handicapped animals, and it has brought me so much joy. I wake up every morning feeling so loved and grateful to be alive.
STRENGTH OUT LOUD I was first asked to speak about my journey in February of 2013, a year after my strokes, and I have continued to share my story of faith, hope and recovery on TV, radio, and in front of small and large audiences. I spoke in front of thousands at Ford Field for the Heart Walk and received an award for changing my life. I have also worked with the American Heart Association as a passion speaker. As a survivor, I feel compelled to let others know they are not alone; I was there. I understand the pain of strokes and recovery, and I know the strength and courage it takes to survive.
NEW HOME So much has changed in the past seven years. My sons each have their own lives and loves, and I feel so blessed that I am their mom. I moved to Traverse City in June to begin a new chapter in my life, and I met an amazing man who has shown me that I deserve to be treated with love, respect and kindness. I prayed that God would introduce me to someone to whom I could open my heart up, and I feel he’s my second chance. He’s my best friend. Both of his children are Michigan State Police Troopers, too.
HOLIDAY IDEA LIST Here are 3 quick ideas for custom Christmas gifts, all printed in-house at our shop!
SHERI WITH HER BOYS, ROBBIE AND ANDREW.
BE BRAVE, LOVE DEEPLY, SHINE BRIGHT Now, I look at my strokes as a gift. I would not be the woman or the warrior I am today had I not experienced them, and I would not have had the strength to transform my life. I have learned to be brave, love deeply and shine the brightest I can. My new journey is just beginning. Lindsay recently moved to Northern Michigan from downstate and says she is happy to call Traverse City home. She is a motivational speaker and has two sons, Robbie and Andrew, who are both Michigan State Police troopers. To connect with Lindsay, email her at lindsays508@gmail.com.
NICOLE ANDERSON
2004 Graduate of Paragon Dog Grooming School Professional & Experienced
989.745.8460 801 W. Front St. Traverse City, MI 49684
Custom Printed Cornhole Boards, Designed Your Way! Custom Printed SemiGloss Wrapping Paper Enhances the Gift! Canvas Wraps - Turn Your Artwork or Photos into a Vibrant Finished Wall Covering!
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KV Furnish
End of Season Pop up Sale
EVERYTHING MUST GO!
Staging and Coordinating for ALL Budgets Residential + Commercial
Sept. 12th, 13th & 14th 10am-4pm
Kellie L. Van Antwerp ♦ (231) 645-6783
Logans Landing by Vince’s Jewelers
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Thermography Non-Invasive Radiation-free Imaging
Adjunctive diagnostic screening aids in the detection of: • Breast Cancer • Peripheral Vascular Disease • Neuromusculoskeletal Disorders • Facial Vascular Disease • Thyroid Gland Abnormalities • Neoplastic / Metabolic Conditions • Inflammatory Conditions
$50 OFF SCREENING
To the first 10 callers.
231.421.5213
Offer expires Oct. 15, 2019 Mention this coupon Dr. Tony Aboudib DC, 31 Years Experience Functional Medicine University Post Graduate Studies, Institute of Functional Medicine Post Graduate Studies, Graduate - American Functional Neurology Institute, Board Eligible for the Diplomate of the American Board of Chiropractic Neurology, Genetic Testing Post Graduate Studies
3337 S Airport Rd W #2
231.421.5213
(Across from Grand Traverse Mall)
www.michiganhealthandwellness.com/thermography 30
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The Low Pressure Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber Forces oxygen into all the cells of the body to increase
healing & vitality
$89
00
What conditions can be treated? • Alzheimer’s Disease • Autism • Dementia • Post Stroke • Traumatic Brain Injury • Multiple Sclerosis • Parkinson’s Disease • Anxiety and Depression • PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) • Post Concussion
• Lyme Disease • Acute Peripheral Traumatic Ischemia • Diabetic Ulcers and Neuritis • Helps Build the Immune System to Fight Cancer • Chemo Brain • Soft Tissue and Fracture Healing • Osteomyelitis • Chronic Skin Ulcers • Reduces Effects of Aging
TRIAL INCLUDES CONSULTATION AND 30 MINUTE TREATMENT.
231.421.5213
Expires Oct. 15, 2019
Dr. Tony Aboudib DC, 31 Years Experience 3337 S Airport Rd W #2 231.421.5213 (Across from Grand Traverse Mall)
Functional Medicine University Post Graduate Studies, Institute of Functional Medicine Post Graduate Studies, Graduate - American Functional Neurology Institute, Board Eligible for the Diplomate of the American Board of Chiropractic Neurology, Genetic Testing Post Graduate Studies
www.michiganhealthandwellness.com/HBOT www.grandtraversewoman.com
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The Women’s Resource Center: A SAFE PLACE FOR SURVIVORS AND T H E I R FA M I L I E S BY JULIETTE SCHULTZ
JUST LAST YEAR, THE WOMEN’S RESOURCE CENTER I N T R AV E R S E C I T Y C A R E D F O R O V E R 8 0 0 S U R V I V O R S .
Some of these individuals sought our shelter, while others leaned on us for emotional support or criminal justice system assistance. Some of these survivors we have never met. They called our 24-hour helpline answered seven days a week by trained client advocates who provide resources, encouragement and support. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, on a typical day Michigan domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 21,000 calls. Annually, the WRC receives over 4,400 calls, over 400 of which are from survivors in crisis. What are calls like for a Women’s Resource Center (WRC) client advocate? CRISIS CALLS
“The first thing I try to do is figure out if the person is safe,” said one client advocate. “I ask, ‘Are you safe? Is this a safe number for me to call you back on if we get disconnected?’” A client advocate shared that she’s been on the phone with survivors and the call has dropped. One time was especially unforgettable. “The survivor said, ‘He is walking in right now.’ Then, the line went dead.” All the services the WRC provides are confidential, so a client advocate can’t call the police without permission. If a caller says the line isn’t safe for calling back, there is no way for a client advocate to reach them again either. “A feeling of shock came over me,” our advocate said. “We are exposed to trauma all the time and it is very intense.” It helps to remind herself, she said, that when she gets a call, to put aside how she feels about it. Helping the survivor is all that matters. B E I N G A N A D V O C AT E
Client advocates may ask the survivor if she or he would like to call the police, or if she or he would like the advocate to call the police. An advocate may ask questions like: Can you get to a safe place? Would you like to come into the shelter? Do you have family or friends in the area whom you might stay with? A client advocate tries to get to the core issue the survivor is facing. This way, the advocate can provide the survivor a resource and the support he or she needs in that moment. WRC client advocates use an empowermentbased approach to advocacy, meaning that they meet survivors where they are, without judgment. There are many guiding principles of the client advocacy philosophy. Some of these include: Intimate partner violence affects all of us; abuse is a deliberate act of power and control by the perpetrator; the victim does not provoke, enjoy or deserve it. All women, children and men have a right to their own identities and qualities that make them unique individuals; Education of the
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HOW TO SUPPORT A SURVIVOR ■ Continue to support the survivor, whether they end their relationship or not. A survivor must feel that you are not judging them for them to continue to confide in you. A helpful phrase could be, “You’re not alone. I’m here for you and I’m glad you told me.” ■ Help develop a safety plan. Brainstorm ways for the survivor to stay safe, whether that means remaining in an unhealthy or violent relationship or leaving the relationship. The safety plan will look different depending on the survivor’s circumstances including whether there are children and pets in the household and whether the survivor has access to financial resources and transportation. ■ It is okay to tell a survivor that the abuser’s behavior is not acceptable or safe, but do not criticize the abuser. A survivor will feel the will need to defend the abuser and it may further isolate the survivor. ■ A survivor might blame herself for the abuse. You can remind the survivor that no one deserves to be abused. Helpful and validating phrases are: “This is not your fault,” or “No one ever has the right to hurt you.” ■ Offer resources and ask what you can do to help. It is important to remember that the survivor is the expert when it comes to their relationship. They will know when it is safe to leave and what actions are possible.
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root cause of abuse is essential for everyone. Gender inequality and oppression should be questioned and confronted. And perhaps the most important: All people have the right to live without fear. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN SOCIETY
In the book No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us, author Rachel Louise Snyder writes: “A study by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime cited 50,000 women around the world were killed by partners or family members in 2017 alone, and the report called home the most dangerous place for women.” The author goes on to say that “domestic violence, rather than being a private problem, is the most urgent matter of public health.” It is our mission at the WRC to address this urgent matter. It is our mission to protect, shelter and empower domestic and sexual violence survivors and their families. A SAFE PLACE
“I know first-hand that the WRC is a safe place for those who have been victimized by domestic and sexual violence,” said one WRC shelter resident. “The WRC gave me shelter and a place where I could heal. They helped me find my voice and reminded me that I matter.” According to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, half of all homeless women report that domestic violence was the immediate cause of their homelessness. The WRC is the only organization that provides emergency shelter (at Helen’s House) to survivors in the four-county region (Benzie, Leelanau, Grand Traverse and Kalkaska). Annually, we have nearly 200 women and children who reside at Helen’s House. At the Women’s Resource Center, survivors find hope, safety and restoration. All our services are available at no cost. H E A L I N G T H E H U RT
A common aphorism in the world of domestic violence is “hurt people, hurt people.” Domestic violence is not a men’s nor a women’s issue. It’s a community issue. In the United States, every minute, an average of 20 people experience intimate partner violence. In 2017, Michigan domestic violence programs provided services to an average of 2,359 survivors a day. Domestic violence affects all of us at some level or other. At the WRC, our mission is to help our community heal that hurt. One survivor at a time.
W H AT I S D O M E S T I C V I O L E N C E ? According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systemic pattern of power and control by one intimate partner against another. It includes: ■ PHYSICAL VIOLENCE ■ SEXUAL VIOLENCE ■ THREATS AND EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
RESOURCES TO HELP WOMEN’S RESOURCE CENTER FOR THE GRAND TRAVERSE AREA Main Office Phone Number: 231-941-1210 Helpline – Answered 24/7/365: 800-554-4972 Website: womensresourcecenter.org Service Area: Grand Traverse, Kalkaska, Benzie, & Leelanau counties. Mission: The mission of the WRC is to protect, shelter and empower people impacted by domestic and sexual violence. TRAVERSE BAY CHILDREN’S ADVOCACY CENTER Main Office Phone Number: 231-929-4250 Website: traversebaycac.org Service Area: Antrim, Benzie, Grand Traverse, Kalkaska, Leelanau and Wexford counties and the Sovereign Nation of the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians. Mission: To protect children by providing prevention education and multi-disciplinary intervention in an environment that is child-sensitive, supportive and safe. WOMEN’S RESOURCE CENTER OF NORTHERN MICHIGAN Main Office Phone Number: 231-347-0067 Helpline: 800-275-1995 Website: wrcnm.org Service Area: Charlevoix, Emmet, Otsego, Cheboygan and Antrim counties. Mission: WRCNM is committed to equality, justice, and the well-being of women. To that end, we will engage and encourage our community to work with us toward those goals. MICHIGAN COALITION TO END DOMESTIC & SEXUAL VIOLENCE Main Office Phone Number: 517-347-7000 Michigan Sexual Assault Hotline: 855-VOICES4 Website: mcedsv.org Mission: To develop and promote efforts aimed at the elimination of all domestic and sexual violence in Michigan. NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE 800-656-HOPE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-799-SAFE
Juliette Schultz is the executive director of the Women’s Resource Center in Traverse City. There, she works alongside 45 others to protect, shelter and empower people impacted by domestic and sexual violence. When she isn’t at the WRC, she looks for vintage Saabs with her son, Rowan, and cycles the back roads of Northern Michigan.
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NATIONAL TEEN DATING ABUSE HELPLINE 866-331-9474
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SUCCESS STARTS WITH YOUR
LEADERS. Anne offers keynotes and workshops for organizations interested in increased morale, lower turn over, higher productivity and a positive workplace environment. Anne is a change expert and creator of effective leaders and workplace communicators.
International speaker, author and workshop facilitator, and featured presenter at the Grand Traverse Woman Educational Workshop on Sept 19. Register at www.grandtraversewoman.com. Learn more about how Anne can inspire your leaders in business & improve communication in your workplace: www.AnneBonney.com Anne@AnneBonney.com
! p p A e h t t Ge Find it FREE in the APP STORE or GOOGLE PLAY
I don’t have neck pain or back pain so I don’t need to see a chiropractor! FROM 2016-2017 I gained
Sheena N. Konas Office Manager, Shift Chiropractic Sheena and her husband Dr. Kyle Konas own and operate Shift Chiropractic in Traverse City.
60lbs, I didn’t have a menstrual cycle for 5 months, and I was waking up unable to see out of my right eye. Long story short, I had an MRI done to see what was causing all of these symptoms and the results came back that I had a benign pituitary macro-adenoma. This is a large tumor which can cause a rise in hormone levels and sits just below the brain and can press down on the optic nerve. My doctor recommended neurosurgery but I wanted to try the least invasive route first so I decided to get in the car and drive to Naples, FL where a well known upper cervical chiropractor was practicing. When I got to Dr. Clark’s office he didn’t do things the way I expected, he performed a neurological exam, took specific x-rays, went over my results and adjusted me. After I left to drive back home I had to stop an hour into the drive because I began my menstrual cycle, after not having one for 5 months! And, all Dr. Clark did was adjust the top bone in my neck, without cracking or popping! You may be wondering, how does one small adjustment have so much power? Well, the brain uses the spinal cord
as a pathway to communicate with the body by sending messages through the nerves to every muscle, cell, tissue and organ. If there is any pressure on those nerves it blocks the brain’s ability to communicate with the body. So, when I hear people say “I don’t have neck or back pain so I don’t need to see a chiropractor” I share my story and simply let them know it is so much more than that. The end to my story is that I did have surgery to remove the tumor. I believe there is always a time and place for drugs and surgery but to always try the least invasive route first. Plus, I got to experience the true power of innate and what the body is capable of when there is no interference. Fast forward a few years and we now have our own neurologically based upper cervical practice here in TC, Shift Chiropractic! It’s our mission to shift the healthcare landscape of Traverse City and we know that a properly functioning brain stem and nervous system can unleash any individual’s God-given potential.
TRAVERSE CITY, MICHIGAN
(231) 846-8897 I www.theshiftTC.com 34
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123SPEAKEASY
BEAUTIFUL
COCKTAILS AND DINNER TOO GOOD TO STAY HIDDEN
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BUILD AMAZING CONFIDENCE
CLEAR & CLEAR
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ORTHODONTICS FOR CHILDREN & ADULTS
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Sept/Oct '19 35
Grand Traverse Woman
MY DAD,
Out of Darkness
Michael Alfred Collings, was the most wonderful man I ever knew. He was an amazing father: he’d wrestle with me, carry me to bed on his shoulders, read me books, and build snow forts and doll houses. He took me on vacations to the ocean and on adventures in the caves. He came to all my sporting events, even when I was just a cheerleader, sat through all the choir performances, violin shows, and he joined the family at the dinner table almost every night. Sure, he smoked cigarettes, worked long days, and suffered from depression and anxiety in his mid-tolater years, but he was my dad. He was a quiet man, and a perfectionist as well, and he always had a smile of approval to give. My two younger sisters and I were darn lucky to have such a hardworking, yet always present, father.
GONE I will never forget March 26, 2015. The horror will always be etched in my mind. I was cooking dinner for my family when I received the gut-wrenching phone call. “Bridgette, come quick, dad is gone!” My sister sobbed on the other end of the phone. “What do you mean gone?” I asked. “I don’t know,” she said. “Just come quick!” I dropped the phone and spatula, looked at my husband and two children, and said, “We have to go now. I think my dad died!”
LOSING DAD They were the longest 20 minutes of my life, driving across town to get to my parents’ house. My children had so many questions, and I couldn’t answer one. I just knew I needed to be there now. I needed to know what happened. When we arrived, I jumped out of the car and ran in the front door to see my mom. Her face reflected shock as she talked to the detective. My sister caught me in her arms and told me my dad had taken his own life. How could this be? This wasn’t true. This was a nightmare. He would never do something like that! He had so much to live for. There had to be a mistake! So many thoughts were running through my head. Other family members started to arrive, and the ambulance drove away carrying my dad. No lights, no sirens, just a ride to the hospital where he could be pronounced dead. A death by suicide.
GOODBYE
Erasing mental health’s stigma after my dad’s death by suicide BY BRIDGETTE SILVA
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The next several days were a blur, calling family and friends and sitting in the funeral home helping my mother make quick decisions for a service. Should it be an open casket? Did he want to be cremated or buried? There were meals dropped off, flowers delivered and siblings arriving to town. There were tears and some smiles as we dug through pictures to make photo boards. Visitation was awful. The four of us—my mother, my two sisters and I—stood next to my deceased father, as people came by and offered their condolences. I don’t think anyone truly knows what to say about a death by suicide. It’s a different kind of loss, one that comes with shock, trauma and unanswered questions. The funeral home was jam-packed and overflowing out the front doors with friends, family and community members that knew and loved my dad. He was a well-known man in town; he’d lived here for almost 40 years. He built his own business from the ground up and became a successful and renowned builder of custom homes in Northern Michigan. He was proud of MAC Custom Homes.
QUESTIONS As days and weeks went by, and life returned to “normal,” the feelings started flooding in. The guilt, anger and disbelief, and the many questions. Having lost someone to suicide, my mind really started to wander to the whys, what ifs, and what could haves.
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Why? Why didn’t I know how sick he was? What could I have done? Why God, did you let this happen? What if mom had been home that day? What if he could have traveled more? What if he could have sold his business to relieve some stress? And on, and on, and on. He was so near and dear to my heart, and someone I loved and looked up to. He was my biggest supporter.
MISSING HIM The aftermath has not been easy—I miss my dad so much. I miss his quiet ways. Nothing is the same, not the holidays, not birthdays, not family dinners or boat rides. Skiing feels different, church is different, and my kids are missing out on an amazing grandpa. He wore silly hats and played games with the kids for hours. He went on bike rides and to music recitals, and to more basketball, hockey and soccer games in the rain than I can count. He was always there when we needed him the most. As an adult, he understood me and my quiet demeaner. He accepted me for me, for who I was. He told me how proud he was of me all the time. I knew he had my back, that he trusted and believed in me. And his hugs. With his strong arms wrapped around me, he’d say softly, “Love you, Beans.” That was all I needed.
THE WALK This journey has taught me a lot about suicide, mental health, and, most of all, a lot about myself. About six months after my dad passed, I began taking a class at my church called “Grief Share.” In this class, I met a couple who had also lost a loved one to death by suicide. We connected immediately. In the spring of 2018, this couple brought the first annual American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) Out of the Darkness Walk to Traverse City. AFSP’s mission is to save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide. Each year, suicide claims more lives than war, murder and natural disaster combined. It is the tenth leading cause of death here in Michigan. Yet suicide prevention doesn’t receive anywhere near the funding as other leading causes of death. That is why we walk. It is up to walkers like us to make a difference. Together, we can change the conversation about mental health and put a stop to this tragic loss of life. On Sept. 15, 2018, our committee planned and executed our first walk in Northern Michigan. Our goal was small, and we expected maybe 200 people to attend. We had over 1,100 people present to stand together, help remove mental health’s stigma, and support each other. It was incredible. By the end of 2018, we had raised just over $90,000! My eyes were opened: Northern Michigan needs us, and they need this event. I want Traverse City to be a community where we can stand beside each other. Whether we have lost a loved one or a friend, or suffer personally with mental illness, we need to support one another and offer hope to those who are suffering. Our next AFSP Darkness Walk is on Saturday, Sept. 14, at the Open Space in Traverse City. Together, we can fight to erase the stigma, reduce suicide loss and support those with mental illness.
Bridgette Silva is a wife and a mother of two, whose passion is to raise awareness for suicide prevention. She is a hairstylist in Traverse City and can be reached at blsilva77@hotmail.com. For more information on the Out of Darkness Walk, visit outofthedarknesstc.com.
Warning Signs
Suicide Risk Factors and Warning Signs Adapted from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, www.afsp.org
What Causes It? Death by suicide has no single root cause. Depression is the condition most commonly associated with death by suicide, but other conditions, such as anxiety or substance problems, can be attributed to it as well. When any condition is not addressed, a person’s risk increases. Depression, for example, is often undiagnosed or untreated. It’s important to note that most individuals who battle mental health conditions, even feelings of hopelessness and despair, continue to engage in life.
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Look for a change in behavior or entirely new behaviors. Behavior changes are of most concern following a painful event, loss, or change. Behaviors that may signal risk: increased alcohol or drug use, looking for a way to end their lives (such as online research), withdrawing from activities, isolating themselves from family or friends, change in sleep habits, visiting or calling people to say goodbye, giving away possessions, aggression, fatigue Dialogue to listen for: a person talking about killing themselves, feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, being a burden to others, feeling trapped, unbearable pain Moods to look for: depression, anxiety, loss of interest, irritability, humiliation/ shame, agitation/anger, relief/sudden improvement An individual may be more at-risk due to: a mental health condition, a serious physical health condition including pain, a traumatic brain injury, family history, childhood abuse, trauma, harassment, bullying, and more If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, available 24/7, at 1-800-273-8255 or text TALK to 741741.
Sept/Oct '19 37
Grand Traverse Woman
Triple Positive
x2:
A FOREVER FRIENDSHIP IN A MOST UNEXPECTED PLACE BY JANICE BEYER
IT REALLY
breastfed my babies. I was aware of the risks and worked hard to “check the boxes” of prevention. But I got it anyway.
shouldn’t have happened at all. The friendship. Also, the cancer. That shouldn’t have happened either.
IN IT TOGETHER That’s how I ended up in chemo class sitting next to Karen, a woman young enough to be my daughter. We were allies in this cancer fight. Karen and I were both facing a year of chemotherapy (a trifecta of drugs administered via our new, surgicallyplaced ports every three weeks for a year), and six weeks of daily radiation. I had already had surgery, but Karen was having neoadjuvant therapy, meaning chemo first to shrink the tumors, then surgery.
KAREN
I met Karen in chemo class at the Cowell Family Cancer Center in early October of 2017. At the time, she was 27 and I was 50. We otherwise wouldn’t have met because she was so much younger than me, and with two young children, she was in a completely different stage of life. TEXT BUDDIES Our oncologists had made the Early after our diagnoses, doctors did an initial decision for us to start chemo, the echocardiogram, or heart sonogram, to get a baseline first choice of many they would make JANICE DURING HER SECOND ROUND OF CHEMO. look at our hearts. They then did an echocardiogram to try to save our lives. We were the every three months during treatment, as the drug that only two women in the class (plus one guy, poor fellow) and only had is used to treat our type of cancer can cause heart damage. enough time to share our business cards and diagnoses. My first text to Karen was, “Hi Karen, it’s Janice from chemo class. So As it turned out, Karen and I both had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, nice to meet you today.” I asked her how her echocardiogram went. Mine and our cancers were both triple positive. We bonded instantly. I had was the following day. thought Karen MUST be in the wrong place. How could this young That started our friendship, which is coming up on two years now. We woman have breast cancer? But she did. And so did I. were constant text buddies. She started her chemo first and gave me all the details, which was incredibly helpful. THE EXAM I found the lump in August of 2017. I was hoping it would go away, but when it didn’t, I went to my primary care doctor. Because I had no family history of breast cancer, she felt that I didn’t have any risk factors. Still, she wanted me to have additional tests to “rule it out.” That sounded fine to me. Yes, let’s rule it out! I thought. When I went for the diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, it was very apparent that something was wrong. The doctor came into the room and told me that breast cancer’s survival rate is 85 percent. What? “Is there a possibility that it could be anything else?” I asked. I had tried not to read too much before the exam, but I had read a little. I remembered that if it had a blood supply, then what was growing wasn’t a cyst. It was cancer. “Well, we can see that it has a blood supply,” the doctor said. Crap. The rest of the appointment was a blur of words and forms. After, I walked to my car clutching a breast pillow. And then I cried—I cried a lot.
WHY ME? I remember waking up in the night countless times thinking, “Wait. What? How is this happening to me?” I was too young and healthy to be diagnosed at just 50. I felt I had lived my whole life trying NOT to get this… I was a runner and a vegetarian. I had children before 30 and
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A TRUE FRIEND Karen shaved her head first and was so comfortable with it, it didn’t seem so bad when I had to do it. She also looked absolutely fantastic. Once, I remember the wig I ordered didn’t arrive as scheduled. I was in a panic, as it was Friday and I had a client meeting on Monday. I could now pull out fistfuls of hair. What was I going to do? Without skipping a beat, Karen offered to let me borrow her wig. What a friend! I didn’t end up borrowing it, but her offer meant the world to me. We bought a lot of wigs—I think at one point we had 10 between us!
LEAN ON ME Karen and I helped each other through 17 rounds of chemotherapy, 30 rounds of radiation, surgery, tests and more tests. Sometimes, if we were feeling well enough, we would each visit the other during infusion. Hers were on Mondays and mine were on Wednesdays, and the days were long (we were usually there for five hours). It was great to have company. There were also many, many late-night texts. We talked about chemo, mouth sores, fatigue and our fears—mostly about the fear. We always seemed to be able to cheer the other on when one of us was feeling low. I can’t imagine being on this journey without her, my cancer buddy. And through this whole strange trip, it’s her friendship I’ve appreciated the most.
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Grand Traverse Woman
HEALTH TODAY In May, my mammogram results came back benign. Although I hope that I’m cured, I’m aware that there are no guarantees. I’ll continue to see my oncologist every four months. Karen has finished her chemo, radiation, and surgery and is back to an active life with her husband and two young daughters. She also recently started a new job. We meet up for dinner on occasion and still text regularly. I’m currently training JANICE TODAY. for the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon, which comes in October, and I’ve enjoyed saying “yes” to things more often. I’m feeling great, and I am grateful for this life.
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Beyer is a portfolio manager at Chemical Bank in Traverse City, where she has worked for almost 10 years. She is the current president of the Zonta Club of Traverse City and the vice president of the Traverse City Track Club. She can be reached at janicebeyer@icloud.com.
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Sept/Oct '19 39
Grand Traverse Woman
Green Goodness:
How a plant-based diet changed my life BY TERI YUNUS
WORKING in the healthcare field exposed me to the multiple possible outcomes of medicine, both the awesome and the not-so-desirable. I loved finding answers to patients’ questions and helping them lead healthier, stronger lives. Then, seven years ago, I decided to take a closer look at my own health. To my surprise, I found answers in a place I hadn’t yet looked—in me.
NO NEW KNEE FOR ME I’d always heard that nurses and doctors are the worst patients, and as a former nurse practitioner myself, I must agree. When I was told I would need a new knee within the next three years, I didn’t immediately accept the advice of my physician. One of my best friends had had a knee replacement, but when the wrong size was implanted, she had to go back for a “redo” procedure. I wanted no part of that, so I began to search for another way. “Mr. Google” was my go-to. I searched keywords like “alternative to knee replacement” and “dietary interventions.” I was sure that if I got away from eating fast food and processed foods, my knee would feel better.
THE SPARK
DAY IN THE PLANT-BASED LIFE
One day, as I was walking on my treadmill trying to take off a few pounds, I came across a PBS Special called “Three Steps to Incredible Health” with Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I listened to the program, and it made sense to me. My lifestyle was likely contributing to inflammation—and to my knee pain. At that moment, I decided to learn more. I purchased his book and read it over the following weekend. That same weekend, my husband was traveling for business and came across an article by Dr. Andrew Weil. Dr. Weil is known for his antiinflammatory eating style. From the stories I read, people with multiple health concerns were seeing major health improvements; in some cases, their symptoms completely vanished! Together, my husband and I decided to move forward with a new, whole-food, plant-based diet, like the one Dr. Fuhrman recommended. I was so excited!
For me, a typical day starts with fruit or a green smoothie for breakfast. I typically pack my smoothie with spinach, whatever raw vegetables I have in my fridge, fruit to taste, and a couple tablespoons of ground flaxseed for protein. For lunch, I’ll have a big, leafy salad and berries or a stew or soup with steamed veggies and rice. Quinoa and potatoes are a dinner staple, and in any meal, I love to spice things up with hummus or salsa. One of my favorite meals is loaded potatoes. I use sweet or Yukon gold potatoes, and I load them up with hummus, salsa, beans, steamed greens, hemp or sunflower seeds, and steamed broccoli (or any veggie). When creating your own recipes, use your imagination—plant foods all mix well! Big fancy recipes are not necessary. Let your creativity build a beautiful dinner that will not only be appealing to the eye, but also super tasty and filling!
TASTY BEANS AND HEALTHY GREENS
It’s been seven years since we adopted this anti-inflammatory way of eating. For me, what’s happened since is no less than a miracle. I did not need a knee replacement. In fact, in 2015, I ran a 5K with my sister. I am no runner, but I wanted to prove that my knee was up for the challenge—and it was. Shortly after my adopting a plant-based lifestyle, my knee pain improved significantly. My weight dropped quickly, and I felt better than I ever had! I had energy to spare and my mood was exceptional. I felt happy, accomplished and empowered that I had taken my health into my own hands and “fixed” my knee pain.
A whole-food plant-based diet is exactly what it sounds like: it’s eating whole, plant foods! The cornerstone of the diet is beans and legumes of all kinds, from black, navy and pinto beans, to garbanzo, cannelloni, lentils and more! Green, leafy vegetables like kale, romaine and others are known to be some of the healthiest foods on earth, and they are also a huge part of this eating regimen. Vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds, along with whole grains, have provided me with so many recipe options—and they’re all delicious! I learned that a variety of spices are very nutritious and high in antioxidants, too. In this way of eating, added oils and sugars are avoided, so only minimally processed foods are used. If you process it in your kitchen, you have the best bet that it is the healthiest option!
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SEVEN YEARS LATER
AN UNEXPECTED GIFT Until my husband asked me, I hadn’t noticed that I had not had a migraine in quite some time. I remember I literally cried when I realized it had been weeks since my last migraine headache. For 35 years, I’d
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experienced debilitating migraines several times every month. I’d had them since I was 19. But because of our new diet, my migraines completely stopped. I still get teary-eyed thinking about all those years I could have prevented them, if only I’d realized the power of my body’s fuel and inflammation.
INFLAMMATION FREE, HAPPY AS CAN BE! As I approach 60, I feel better than I ever have. I have the energy of a 30 year old and have all my own body parts. I plan to live a long, healthy life, and am proud to know that I am contributing to that outcome. I’m eating the highest nutrient foods, staying very active, and feeding my soul with friends and family. Although life is busy, I’ve learned the power of focusing on what I can do for myself. The answer to improving my health was within me, and all it took was one step in that direction.
Teri Yunus is a retired nurse practitioner and works as a Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach. She owns and operates Health Up with Teri! Health & Wellness Coaching and loves to help people transform their lives. Her own health transformation led her to coaching and she believes that with the right tools and support, anyone has the power to make significant improvements to his or her health. Contact Teri through her website at www.healthupwithteri.com.
Pasta e Fagioli
PREP TIME 10 COOK TIME 40
recipe
Serves 6
Ingredients • 5 cups vegetable broth, no salt added • 1 cup uncooked, whole grain elbow macaroni • 4 cloves garlic, minced • 3 celery ribs, chopped • 1 onion, chopped • 1 bay leaf • 2 (15 ounce) cans kidney bean s • 1 (28 ounce) can crushed tom atoes, no salt added • 1 teaspoon dried basil • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • Fresh basil for garnish Directions 1. Heat a large pot to medium-hig h heat. 2. Add garlic, celery, onion, drie d basil, and freshly ground black pepper and cook abou t 5 minutes, or until vegetables begin to get soft and brown. Add a few drops of vegetable broth if stic king occurs. 3. Add vegetable broth, crushed tomatoes and bay leaf. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer covered for 15 minutes. 4. Add kidney beans and elbow macaroni. Simmer uncovered for another 10-15 minutes or until the pasta is cooked. 5. Remove bay leaf. Ladle into bowls and garnish with fresh basil and serve.
Recipe adapted from https://ucd
integrativemedicine.com/recipes/p
asta-e-fagioli
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3480 S.Rd. Airport W. Ste. B - Traverse City, MI 49684 3200 S. Airport W atRd. Grand Traverse Mall, Traverse City, Ml 49684 Mon - 12pm-6pm; Fri 9am to 7pm • Saturday 10am to 6pm Open Sunday: Mon-Fri: 9am-8pm; Sat: 10am-8pm Locally owned HOURS: and family operated9am-5:30pm SERVICE DEPARTMENT Mon-Fri:
Saturday, Oct. 19, 2019 8:30 am - 2 pm Cowell Family Cancer Center 217 S. Madison St. Traverse City 49684 Please join us for the annual Recovery Plus event. This free conference is for women who have had, or who are currently living with, breast cancer and provides essential resources in an uplifting, encouraging, and comforting setting to help support the amazing you. Enjoy a continental breakfast and special “pampering” session from Cowell Family Cancer Center’s Health and Wellness Suite practitioners. The event also features informative presentations and a delicious and healthy lunch. Please register for this free event by Oct. 5, 2019 by calling the Cowell Family Cancer Center’s Health and Wellness Suite at 231-392-8492 or by visiting munsonhealthcare.org/RecoveryPlus2019event.
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Sept/Oct '19 41
Grand Traverse Woman
The 10-Year Tale
of the National Writers Series BY ANNE STANTON
JOHN ROBERT WILLIAMS
I NEVER dreamed when I was putting together a book event for my husband, Doug Stanton,
The 2019 NWS fall line-up: OCT. 6: Aarti Shahani, an award-winning NPR corre-
spondent, wrote Here We Are: American Dreams, American Nightmares. The “nightmare” in the title refers to the justice system that miserably failed her father. With guest host Jerome Vaughn.
OCT. 9: Randall Sullivan, a journalist and screenwriter, wrote The Curse of Oak Island, a complete history of the island and its treasure hunters, not all of whom lived or remained sane. The History Channel’s own treasure hunter Marty Lagina will also take the stage with Troy Reimink as guest host.
OCT. 16: Susan Orlean, author of The Orchid Thief, will
talk about her newest book, The Library Book, inspired by a 1986 fire that nearly took down The Los Angeles Library. Guest host is Anne Strainchamps of NPR’s To the Best of Our Knowledge.
OCT. 27: Legendary thriller writer Nelson DeMille has
teamed up with his screenwriter son, Alex, to write a brilliant military suspense novel, The Deserter—the first in a series. With guest host Doug Stanton.
NOV. 17: Mitch Albom will talk to guest host Nick
Edson about his newest nonfiction book, Finding Chika. Told in hindsight about he and his wife’s medical journey to save a little girl from Haiti, this is Albom at his most poignant and vulnerable.
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Sept/Oct '19
that it was the beginning of something bigger. Much bigger. But then again, Doug’s the dreamer. I’m the doer. (The world needs both, you know.) This is the story of how the National Writers Series was born. In April of 2009, Doug was on national book tour to promote his book Horse Soldiers: The Extraordinary Story of a Band of U.S. Soldiers who Rode to Victory in Afghanistan. (A #1 New York Times bestseller, it was later renamed 12 Strong to match the name of the movie, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer.) Doug asked me to organize a book event for him while he was gone, and it seemed simple enough. But I soon realized that Horizon Books might not be big enough to hold a large crowd, so I booked the City Opera House for May 28, 2009, when Doug returned. I began organizing wine and food and publicity. Doug’s mom volunteered to put up posters (which she did for years). She also brought flowers for the stage (which she still does). I was reporting full-time at the Northern Express with three kids at home. I felt stressed. At that point, Doug suggested that we fly in Colonel Mark Mitchell to join the onstage conversation. Mark was one of the major characters in Doug’s book, having led a Special Forces team that secretly landed in Afghanistan after the 9/11 attacks. Fortunately, my friend Paulette Parsons came along to help. The event was an enormous success with a packed-to-the-rafters crowd in the grand City Opera House, and $2,000 in proceeds going to The Pathfinder School. But more than that, the evening was transformative. Mark Mitchell stood on the Opera House stage and talked movingly about how his men had been injured by friendly fire. How he bore witness to routing the Taliban in 30 days, working with Afghani soldiers who still fought on horses, wearing shower shoes on their feet. That evening, I looked around and saw friends on both sides of the political aisle asking questions, good ones, and we all felt an opening up about the difficult subject of war and all that had happened since 9/11. Doug talked the next day about how we could create a National Writers Series and invite nationally renowned authors on book tour. Grant Parsons, who became the third cofounder, suggested we set up a college scholarship fund for aspiring young writers. On a whim, Doug invited Elmore Leonard and his son, Peter, to speak about the craft of crime writing. That July evening was delightful—Elmore was a hoot—and Doug wrapped it up by spontaneously announcing the National Writers Series. The Traverse City Record-Eagle clinched his decision with a front-page story. Amazingly, the next year, we drew Tom Brokaw, Mary Karr, James Bradley and Peter Matthiessen to Traverse City. A few years later, Doug envisioned a magnet program for young high school writers—the Front Street Writers—in collaboration with Traverse City Area Public Schools. We would hire a teaching fellow to co-teach the program and bring our fabulous writers to lecture or teach a master class. So began Front Street Writers, now taught at the Career-Tech Center. Then Doug talked dreamed of providing poetry classes at Traverse Heights Elementary, where he once attended school, and Blair Elementary. That happened too, thanks to Sera Thompson, an NWS board member. And then, we partnered with NMC to offer creative writing classes to kids of all ages. Thanks to Angie Morgan and Marcy Lindberg, NWS created Battle of the Books, which, each year, engages 300 kids in a free and fun reading competition. NWS has hosted nearly 150 authors since author Doug Stanton first appeared on stage in 2009.
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Grand Traverse Woman I took on the job as executive director four years ago, and have acquired an enormous sense of gratitude. Because, along with a dreamer and a doer, NWS needs a lot of donors, grantors, board members, sponsors, volunteers, staffers, and event-goers behind it. And that’s true for all the nonprofits that make Traverse City such a spectacular place to live. Anne Stanton, a co-founder and executive director of the National Writers Series, has worked as an independent book editor, ghost writer and freelance journalist. Her work has appeared in the Sacramento Bee, the Traverse City Record-Eagle, Traverse Magazine, Northern Express, the Detroit News, the Detroit Free Press, and Hour Detroit. She is a founding partner of Mission Point Press, a Traverse City-based publisher, which also provides editorial services to independent authors, including editing, layout, design, distribution and publicity.
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GTWoman’s
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RELIGION/ Christian
Life/ Inspirational
up on You!
finding god Anew
god never gives
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uthor Barbara Kudwa unveils how God you down a very never gave up on personal her. She takes healing as her relationshipjourney through the storms of life to hope and with God is tested. marriages resulting She faces challenges in divorces, heartbreak in members, along in pregnancy loss, with holding onto and deaths of family unforgiveness and Experiencing trauma, anger from shocking anxiety, pain and betrayals. grief, she turns her relationship to God for hope, with God to flourish allowing and her brokenness to heal. “Barbara Kudwa has penned an inspirational darkest moments easy reading book. in her life and the She reveals the role that God played above them. Beautifully in allowing her to written, and though rise unquestionably will especially significant touch the souls of to Catholics, it all Christians who the depths of despair. have found themselves All who read, will in find it therapeutic most difficult life in dealing with their issues.” —JUDY WINKEL, MSW, ACSW
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Free listing is based on availability due to space restrictions. In other words, get in touch with Kerry asap! Email Kerry today to get special rates and more info. kerry@grandtraversewoman.com
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Sept/Oct '19 45
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PELVIC FLOOR
HEALTH BY MIA MUNROE
MAINSTREAM
exercise has never been an option for me. I enjoyed a 10-year career as a professional classical ballet dancer. As I approached my 30s, my injured body needed to heal through more mindful exercise. As I entered into my 40’s, teaching exercise and spinal strengthening had regained and sustained my overall physique but my own state of mind and quality of life was truly dictated by my own inner pelvic health. Naturally becoming a close confidant of my clients, I began to hear various stories of dissatisfaction with pelvic functioning. To my surprise, stories filled with pain and dysfunction did not come solely from older women with children. I was hearing all types of unimaginable abnormalities silently being accepted as normal - from women of all ages.
INSPIRATION There was one common complaint from the very beginning of my career as a trainer: “Kegels are not helping my pelvic floor!” Inspired to help, as I could not imagine coping with the suffering I was hearing, I returned to school to find some answers. At the University of Washington, I learned that not only are women doing way too much of the wrong things, the majority are doing nothing at all! Teaching my common sense techniques at a prenatal yoga studio proved early on to be in line with what is necessary for all women—mindful check-ins throughout the day to relax unknown tension and learning how to “Un-Kegel.” This is the heart of my technique.
COMMON PELVIC FLOOR DYSFUNCTIONS It is with blind faith that we take our pelvic functioning for granted—until that day when something unexpectedly goes wrong. Mechanical malfunctions of the bladder include not making it to the toilet because of little or no notice, not emptying completely, or sometimes, nothing coming at all, even when internal feedback says otherwise. Not facing these issues can lead to having no control whatsoever, chronic pain and/or infection. Statistically speaking, the silent epidemics are bladder, intestinal, vaginal, and rectal prolapse. With or without over-training one’s pelvic floor, prolapse (a shifting or downward displacement of our pelvic organs) can happen after childbirth or in years following. Prolapse can be hereditary, and it is potentially something your grandmother or mother never talked about. This feeling of downward pressure can also occur at any time after a full or partial hysterectomy, when there is no longer enough internal pressures to support the organs.
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WAYS TO STAY HEALTHY The pelvic floor is autonomous. Do not micromanage it! With adequate circulation and ventilation, your vagina is a self-healing mechanism. Purchase jeans that fit well and don’t cut off circulation to the most sensitive and well-loved areas of your body. In addition, your inner pelvis is a self-cleaning oven with its own complex internal environment. No douching, please! A small amount of apple cider in a sitz bath will balance your pH naturally. Also, avoid pads that are scented and tampons containing pesticides. Only organic products deserve to be neighboring your sensitive tissues. Avoid “power peeing,” or pushing anything down and out when it’s not necessary. (Sorry, moms! The kids will be fine for another few seconds). On the other hand, do not force yourself to go when there is no need. And, if you have to go and must wait, there are postural tools that can take the pressure off your bladder. Try lifting your shoulders and your rib cage upwards on the way to the bathroom! Your bladder may need just a little bit less pressure from up above.
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And the big one: Alfred Kegel worked with patients primarily using a perineometer—a small balloon used to measure vaginal strength, still used in physical therapy today. ‘Kegeling’ around nothing (when sitting at a stoplight or standing in line at the supermarket) simply results in a tight, tired, and weakened pelvic floor. Consider the dissatisfaction of chewing with nothing in your mouth. Is it not logical that the pelvic floor muscles should ideally be trained while maintaining the shape they were meant to be used for during conception? Sexual dysfunction or lack of sexual activity altogether is often easier (but not impossible) to ignore. Through increased circulation, our pelvic floors are self-healing mechanisms. Some private independent homework can help maintain inner and outer tissue health through regular activity. This will sustain and thicken vaginal walls, which, in turn, can lower your risk of incontinence and prolapse.
OTHER CONSIDERATIONS Tragically, the muscles of the pelvis in both women and men can unknowingly hold onto early dysfunction, driven by physical and/or emotional abuse. Throughout early and middle adulthood, the pelvic area will adapt to chronic tension. Functioning can be misconstrued as reliable enough. Lost conceptions and traumas of childbirth can be forgotten
in the joys of motherhood, masking early warnings of inflammation and chronic pain that reveal themselves later in life. Within these unconscious compensatory skills, false certainty will convince any woman that the pelvis will always perform as it’s meant to—not the case in an unrepresented growing population.
A BODY REMEMBERS AND CAN RELEARN Consider the reasons for the accumulation of tension and pain may have been long accepted and emotionally resolved but the pelvic floor muscles can retain long-term physical memories that will eventually release with adequate attention to relaxation and circulation. Relaxed lower abdominals, attention to properly balanced sitting, and correct posture are what maintain pelvic floor decompression. Pelvic floor muscles can then learn to strengthen naturally by simply breathing deeply. Practicing self-empowering homework, as its own valuable exercise, and/or utilizing a pelvic floor physical therapist can help facilitate discovery of the true state of our beloved pelvic floors. Each individual pelvic floor is unique and unpredictable. Past traumas or not, any unwelcome change to your pelvic functioning warrants immediate attention with an educated and proactive approach. Stay in tune with your pelvic floor because dysfunction has no place in one of the most precious areas of the body.
Mia Munroe, native of Michigan, recently opened Movement In Action, located on Front Street above Talbot’s in downtown Traverse City. MIA is Traverse City's first GYROTONIC® studio, offering private and small group training, specializing in pelvic floor health. MIA’s grand opening will be Saturday, Sept. 21. Contact Mia@MiaTraverseCity.com if you would like to attend or make an appointment. Mia also teaches group classes in the GYROKINESIS® Method and pelvic floor workshops at various locations around Traverse City.
New Name, Same Great Care
Specialties
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Sept/Oct '19 47
Grand Traverse Woman
RIDE INTO FALL!
ELECTRIC BIKES - We are one of the largest Electric Assist Bike dealer in the state. Whether you’re commuting, mountain biking, or just cruising around town, we have a wide selection of electric bikes to fit your needs. We carry Trek, Cannondale, Felt, and Electra electric bikes. Stop in for a try today. You’ll love the ease of your next ride! BIKES GALORE - We also carry road, mountain and children’s bikes, along with fat bikes, bamboo bikes and foldable bikes. Every girl needs a bike… or two. CLOTHING & ACCESSORIES - Ride in comfort and finally get those spandex bike shorts… plus add a little bling to your bike with a new bell!
Come in for our
BACK TO SCHOOL TUNE-UP SPECIAL (for moms too!)
and locks, racks, bags, 20% OFF lights baskets, panniers and bells. 48
Sept/Oct '19
We LOVE what we do! Service is the difference. With more parts in stock than any shop in Northern Michigan, chances are we have what you need. Whether you’re building a custom ride or you need a flat repaired on your garden cart, we are here to serve. You will leave with an accurate estimate of the services requested with no surprises. Upon completion you will receive a text informing you that your bike is ready to be picked up. A well-maintained bike is a happy bike (and gal!)!
736 E. 8TH STREET, TRAVERSE CITY www.brickwheels.com 231.947.4274 www.grandtraversewoman.com
Grand Traverse Woman
WELCOME TO
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Sept/Oct '19 49
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ADDRESSING IT During one of those doctor’s visits, I stepped on the scale and was shocked to see the number “193” glaring back at me. I was sick with the flu and thought the lack of food in my body would result in a lower number. I could not believe as a 5-foot-1-inch tall person I was so close to 200 pounds. In the spring of 2016, my doctor recommended anxiety medication. She never discussed weight-loss and thought a pill would be the best way to fix my problems. I was hesitant about this idea and told her so. So in July of that year, I found a new doctor who encouraged me to focus on weight loss. It felt like someone was finally discussing the elephant in the room. At the time, I didn’t know much about how obesity could impact my overall health, but I knew I was heading down a path that wasn’t going to end well. Finally, a medical professional was brave enough to address the obvious issue.
DETERMINED
MY JOURNEY TO
Health BY JAMIE STALEY
WE ALL LOVE a good success story, don’t we? Especially the ones that feature a come-from-behind victory or the triumph of an underdog, or even the victory of the marginalized. Over the past three years, I’ve experienced my own success. I’m compelled to share my story in the hopes that it spurs something within you to chart your own path to success. Because you can do it, too.
STUCK In 2013, I graduated college, moved into an apartment, and started my first “real job” as a child welfare social worker. I traveled frequently, experienced enormous amounts of stress and ignored my diet. I ate whatever sounded good or was convenient, which meant fast food, highly processed food and the chocolate from the dish in my office. My exercise routine did not exist, and I was extremely sedentary. In the fall of 2015, this lifestyle started to catch up with me. By this time, I was married and my lack of prioritizing my health started to show physically. Over the next few months, I went to the doctor three times, which was rare for me. I was anxious and sick, and my complaints were always explained as “nothing” by my doctor.
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I had tried to lose weight in the past. I wasn’t always obese, but I was never fit either. Over the years, I wore the weird shorts that were supposed to make you sweat, I worked out (inconsistently) and I kept a food diary. None of it worked. I was resolute to try again. Why? Because the cost of staying the same was no longer a price I was willing to pay. I had no energy, my emotions were constantly on a roller coaster, I hated the way I looked, and I was constantly worried that I had heart issues or other medical issues because of my weight.
JUST ANOTHER THURSDAY My journey “officially” began on July 14, 2016, two days after I turned 27. I strapped on a fitness tracker and committed to walking one mile every day and tracking my calories. This seemed attainable, and my detail-oriented brain needed something specific to focus on. My husband also committed to doing the same thing. I didn’t feel like I was starting something significant, it just seemed like a normal Thursday. By Sept. 1, I had lost 10 pounds. By Nov. 12, I’d lost 20. I was astounded that something was working for me. Between keeping track of my calories and some light exercise every single day, it was working.
NEVER GIVING UP In early December, I had an annual physical with my doctor. She ordered blood work, and I was actually excited to go to the doctor for the first time in my life. At my appointment, she told me my blood sugar was high (in the pre-diabetic range to be exact). I was extremely discouraged and tempted to quit, but I knew that wouldn’t make it any better. She told me to keep doing what I was doing and that she would check my numbers again in six months. I realized later that my blood sugar number was most likely higher before I started and had come down to that number with diet and exercise. Feelings of anxiety and confusion can also be a side effect of high blood sugar. Learning that piece of information explained so much about my previous struggles.
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SECOND-YEAR SETBACK The next spring, my blood sugar numbers had improved to a normal range. I was down over 30 pounds and still going. The setbacks weren’t over though. Later that summer, I dislocated my kneecap and partially tore a ligament. Surgery was needed, and I was distraught. I thought for sure this was it. I would lie on the couch for a couple months and gain all the weight back. All my hard work would be gone. On Nov. 6, 2017, I underwent surgery to fix my knee. Much to my surprise, I did not gain a single pound during the three months of recovery and physical therapy. The strength of my habits had turned into a lifestyle that was now a huge piece of my identity. This was a big turning point for me, mentally (and physically, too, because two functioning knees is very beneficial).
LIGHTER, FREER Today, I have lost a total of 50 pounds. I have turned fitness and nutrition into my career, which I still find hysterically ironic most days. When people ask, “How did you do it?” my answer is simple: I didn’t quit. I took stock of my health and prioritized it over everything else. I never stopped taking little steps in the right direction. There is nothing special about me. I don’t say that for the purpose of selfdeprecation. I say that to set you free from the lie that people who succeed are different than you are. It doesn’t take superhuman motivation, willpower, a New Year’s resolution, a fat-loss pill, a shake plan, a fad diet, or anything else. It takes one right decision after another for the rest of your life. That’s how I did it. And you know what? You can too.
Jamie Staley is a Certified Personal Trainer through the National Academy of Sports Medicine and is currently working toward becoming a Certified Nutrition Coach through Precision Nutrition. You can find her at the YMCA most days where she works as a Personal Trainer and Wellness Coach. Jamie and her husband, Robert, live in Traverse City.
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THE POWER OF A
colorful, artful, playful, unconventional JOURNAL BY LESLIE HAMP
JOURNALING is my mindful, sacred practice. I dove in deep after 911 and have been learning, practicing and teaching journal techniques since then. Whether you’re a busy mom, overwhelmed entrepreneur or creative spirit searching for a way to gain clarity, release stress or get in touch with your inner wisdom, journaling is a valuable tool to help you solve problems, explore creativity and track cycles, patterns and trends in your life. You may have grown up writing in a diary, which chronicles your day's events. Journaling goes much deeper, helping you set intentions, get in touch with your inner thoughts, and release whatever is in your heart. Often I hear hesitancy, fear or anxiety from students who are worried about sharing their innermost thoughts on the page. The fear of someone reading their words prevents many from picking up pen and paper. To overcome that worry, I started showing others how to add visual elements to their journal pages. Simple mark making or adding stencils, paint and collage not only cover private thoughts; the creativity helps one process thoughts on a deeper level. I quickly discovered visual journaling to be a powerful, safe entry point for new and established journalers alike. Because writing, drawing and collage are three different modes of expression which complement each other, visual journaling allows for a rich expression and exploration of one’s inner life. You don’t need to be a writer or artist to reap the benefits, although writers tend to jump in faster with their words and artists tend to create lovely pages. Nevertheless, the outcomes are the same for all who turn to their journal for self-reflection, clarity and increased well-being.
WHY IT WORKS: 1. Research shows that creative expression helps reduce stress and improves immune function. 2. Expressing yourself on the page creates a distance between the content and you. This distance allows perspective and helps you to reflect on what is happening. 3. Writing, drawing and simple art-making can bring forth information from your subconscious. That’s because we process in pictures, our brains love ink, and we need to see new possibilities before we step into them. 4. Increased contact with your inner world enriches life and is selfempowering. You may not always like what you see on your journal pages, but you will gain powerful personal insights. When you let go of perfection, you’ll connect to inner guidance. Next steps become clear. Doors open.
This simple practice has been my secret for clarifying and hitting every major goal I have ever achieved. If I’m struggling, I turn to the page. When I want to acknowledge beautiful moments, I jot down gratitudes. When I want to connect with inner wisdom, I write and collage.
KEYS FOR JOURNALING SUCCESS: • Keep it private. Knowing it’s for your eyes only allows feelings and solutions to surface unrestricted. • Get "in the zone.” Find a quiet time and interruption-free place. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and contemplate one of the seven prompts I share below. • Set the timer on your cell phone for five minutes. When the alarm sounds, reread your journal entry and do a reflection-write beginning with the sentence, “As I read this, I notice…” • Squelch your inner critic. No editing or worrying about grammar, punctuation or content. No analyzing or overthinking. Just get your thoughts from pen to paper. • Keep writing. Write whatever pops into your head. If you think you have nothing to say, write that: "I have nothing to say. Why am I doing this?" Before long you'll be back in the flow writing again. • Add marks or collage for color, perspective and dimension. With the help of visual journaling tools, you can gently but powerfully explore the various aspects of yourself, your life and your relationships with others. • Bring in the spirit of play! Using crayons or colored pencils adds a childlike playfulness that allows creativity and intuition to flow. Draw some squiggles and doodles, edge your page with washi tape, or write in a circle. Now it’s your turn. Grab a sketchbook or notebook. Start with a prompt. Write whatever comes to mind, and mark up your page! If you’re like me, you’ll feel such joy looking at your pages… and you’ll start activating your deepest desires.
7 CREATIVE JOURNALING PROMPTS: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
What’s going on right now? What’s my intention for today? What is my next right action? If I spoke my truth, I would say… If I released my fears… My body is teaching me… What do I most appreciate today?
Leslie Hamp, Master Coach and certified journaling instructor, leads workshops and retreats for women who want to gain clarity, confidence and courage to step into the new story that wants to emerge. She is author of Create the Life You Crave and its companion Beautiful Journal and contributing author of Wide Awake Every Week and Love Stories of the Bay. In her free time, she produces audio stories for Interlochen Public Radio and is devoted to yoga, Pilates, and hiking, biking and skiing with her husband Jim. Find out more at www.lesliehamp.com.
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Sept/Oct '19 55
momma 1614
Grand Traverse Woman
BY KANDACE CHAPPLE BY KERRY WINKLER WWW.KANDACECHAPPLE.COM
Life with the
I’VE been trying really hard to be the cool mom. My sons are 14 and 16 now, and I try to let them have their space. But the older they get, the harder it is for me to be the cool mom. For example, I would love it if they actually found time to speak to me.
BRIBERY Last week, I bribed Kendall to hang out on the deck with me for 20 minutes. I’d pay him $10. Yes. I offered that. That’s the worst, right? No. The worst is that he negotiated $20 for 10 minutes instead. But I agreed. Ten precious minutes under a late summer sky with my son? Priceless! It felt wrong but, confession, I had no intention of paying him for doing nothing. I have no problem lying to my children at any age. Kendall grunted, climbed into the hammock and shut his eyes. I camped out next to him and settled in. And, boy, did we have the most wonderful conversation! By that, I mean, he took a call while we were sitting there, and I stood by while he howled with laughter. With somebody else. “Who is it?” I whispered, barely holding in my laughter. Over what, I didn’t know. He didn’t hear me. I asked again, this time soaking in the warmth of his teenage indifference. As he continued to completely ignore me, waiting, nodding here and there in agreement. Then, I noticed, against the white-and-blue striped hammock, his need for a haircut, one that he would object to. I pulled out my phone and booked it; I’d never felt closer to him. At nine minutes, he checked the time. He’d set a timer. Pride warmed my heart. So smart! So resourceful! So sadistic! I had one minute left, so I made my move.
“No, Mom!” he bellowed. “Scootch,” I said, plowing into the hammock. I was giving him a rush that he couldn’t get from a video game. “You’re going to tip us!” he shouted. But I didn’t. In fact, we were now both looking up at the big white clouds. But, unfortunately, our shoulders were touching. “Get on your side,” he said, dead serious. “I am!” I wasn’t, but I wanted to keep the conversation going. “That’s it, I’m out of here.” He was laughing but… he was also leaving. He jumped out. “Give me my $20,” Kendall said, shaking the hammock. “Or else.” “No way.” Holding on for dear life. “You lied to me!” Still laughing. “Of course I did. Now come give me a kiss on the cheek before you go.”
FOR DINNER It should come as no surprise to hear that the next day, he uninvited me to my very own lunch plans. I approached my sons at a safe time: Well after noon. “How about lunch out, anywhere you want?” I asked. (Bribery had become my guilty habit by August.) “We just ate breakfast,” Nelson said. It was 1 p.m. A normal person’s lunch hour. But they’d slept until 11 a.m. and just had a couple gigantic bowls of cereal. “How about later?” I said. “You can talk your brother into going!” My other guilty habit—making the younger one do my dirty work for me. “Like a Bro Dinner?” Nelson asked, perking up. “Yes!” I said. I could be one of the bros! So I worked on the front deck on my laptop,
waiting patiently for them to get hungry. When they didn’t appear by 4 p.m., I returned to my bribery. “How about ice cream after?” I asked Nelson. It worked. Nelson started getting ready to go. “Come on, bro,” he shouted to his brother. “Let’s go to Culver’s!” I was super excited. I was about to embark on an outing where I would be forced to blow my diet for the sake of good mothering. I resumed my position waiting on the deck. Five minutes later, they emerged from the house in fresh outfits, beating a path straight past me. “Um… where are you going?” I asked, light and breezy, cool mom here, fellas. “We already told you—we’re going to Culver’s,” Kendall said. “Come on, bro!” He turned and headed to the car, Nelson right behind him. “And… what about me?” I asked. Very, very worried. They looked at me, confused. “We’re having a Bro Dinner, Mom.” Nelson said. “Remember? This was your idea.” “Oh yes, my idea! The Bro Dinner! Yes, yes!” I replied, very cool mom, who was not a bro, under duress. “Mind if we take your car?” I saw then that Kendall was holding my keys. “Yea, sure,” I said, hoping my tank was dry. “And do you mind if we snag a twenty out of your purse?” Aha! I knew he’d get $20 out of me somehow! In truth, I’d buy them a Bro Dinner any night they asked, just to see them getting along. The bonus, this time, was that I’d gotten 10 minutes of bro time out of the deal the night before, too. “Take it,” I said, cool mom once again. “Enjoy yourselves.”
Kandace Chapple is the editor and co-publisher of Grand Traverse Woman. Her essays have been published in Writer’s Digest, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Literary Mama, Motherwell and more. She loves to mountain bike on Northern Michigan trails, hike with her dog (Cookie!), and spend time with her husband and two sons. Visit her at www.kandacechapple.com.
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NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY
NELSON AND KENDALL OUT FOR DINNER.
BROS
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Grand Traverse Woman
trouble (in the) hood 1814
BY KERRY WINKLER
B O J T S #FIR BROOK landed her first “official” job this sum-
FIRST DAY OF WORK SELFIE.
A few days later, her phone rang. A real live conversation was about to happen. Who could it be? No one actually called teenagers these days. But she answered it with a matter-of-fact “Hello.” A few yes’s, no’s, and ending with a “Yes, I’d like to work for you.” Meanwhile I sat there with my mouth hanging open. She was in fact conducting her first interview ever with apparent nerves of steel. She had transformed into a responsible, mature young adult right before my eyes. Again, why was her room still a mess?? She hung up the phone, squealed and did a little happy dance. She said, “I’m gonna make money! You can’t stop me from buying American Eagle jeans!” I laughed. If that’s her motivation, fair enough. I get it! Then she remembered the “rule” her brother has always had. She hesitated and said, “Do I really need to put half into savings every paycheck?” I nodded. She grumbled a bit. I didn’t have the heart to tell her about T-A-X-E-S. On her first day of work, she showed some nerves, finally, but it helped that she had two friends working there. She had a nice new uniform – blue shirt, red hat – ready to tackle the job of dishes and buffet line. I dropped her off and felt a bit of pride mixed with sadness. Her baby days were over. She was heading into a real job with real time commitment. She’d have to answer to a boss who wasn’t related to her. But then I felt a bit of a giggle arise. She was going to learn that dishes for a family of three were a piece of cake vs. dishes for hundreds of campers. This was going to work in my favor after all. Five hours later, I picked her up. She had food stains on her shirt, the front of her was sopping wet from washing pots and pans, and her hair was wilted. “Well? How’d you like it?” I asked, trying to hide my laughter. She glared at me and grumbled, “Those jeans are totally going to be worth it.” And then she laughed a bit too. So it was going to stick. I had wondered if she might want to bail after the first day. Fast forward two weeks and her first check arrives. She ripped it open with glee. I watched her eyes light up at the grand total – WOW. Then she saw the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th deduction. Her eyes grew dimmer. Hello, Uncle Sam. But there was in fact enough to go buy the latest teen obsession of “Mom Jeans!” We headed to town to cash part of the check and put the rest into her savings account. She did like that part of it too – watching that account balance grow! But the real fun was watching her head into the store to buy her own clothes and count out the money she’d earned to the cashier. She was proud of herself and she should have been! I was too. There was a difference in that pair of jeans that she will remember forever. And I will say the dishes at home are done with a little less grumbling these days and much quicker! It’s been a win-win!
Kerry Winkler is the account director and publisher of Grand Traverse Woman Magazine. She lives with her 2 teenagers and golden retriever Bobby in Interlochen. She loves being active outdoors. She can be reached at kerry@ grandtraversewoman.com.
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NORTHERN ART PHOTOGRAPHY
mer at age 14. I noticed her sitting at the computer one day, not a common thing for her. School was OUT for the summer so there was no more school work. What is going on, Brook? She said, “Oh just filling out a job application.” Very casual like it’s no big deal. She’d never had a job before. Didn’t she need help? Nah, she was all set and with a few clicks, she submitted it. What! Wait! Did she even know what references were? Whom to ask? How to fill in the boxes? What was the skill set needed? How was she going to get to work? She doesn’t drive! This was unnerving. If she were capable of this, why wasn’t her room clean and the dishes done? She’d applied for a job as a dishwasher/server at a nearby camp. She could bike if needed, so transportation was covered too. She’d thought of everything.
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Grand Traverse Woman
I like wiggle butts You Pet lovers can’t deny When a pooch walks in with a wiggly, waggin’ tail And a wet a nose in your face They get active…
To keep your pets active & healthy: ‘Just say no’ to obesity! Clean those teeth! Vaccinate, vaccinate, vaccinate! Prevent intestinal parasites and heartworms because let’s face it, no one wants worms! Keep those pesky fleas & ticks away by using prevention! Don’t underestimate the importance of annual veterinary checkups!
Enriching the lives of those who bring so much joy to ours Jennifer Klabunde, DVM, CVCP Hannah Vanos, DVM, MPH
231.276.6361 7966 US HWY 31, Traverse City, MI 49637 northwoodpet.com
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Grand Traverse Woman
Karastan National Carpet Sale Bergeron
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