Dear Husband
Nelly Huang Audio Version http://www.youmaker.com/video/user?id=d84722&flvflag=0&k=new 1
About the Author
Nelly Huang, an 18-year-old teenage girl major in English at Wenzao Ursuline University of Languages at present. She considers herself born to be a gourmet 1
eater, and is fond of Korean dramas and on-line shopping. 《Dear Husband》is her first-written novel. “I enjoy living in a world of fantasy, and through writing I am able to share my imagination with others.”
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Prologue “Life sucks when you are ordinary.� If you can make your own choice, would you like to lead a high-quality yet ordinary marital life or own a forbidden secret relationship that gives you constant excitement? Agnes Donovan, a 23-year-old girl, is facing a similar dilemma. Who is the ideal person to be with for the rest of her life? A rich man or a compatible boy? What will she do? Being faithful or following her heart? 3
Characters Agnes Donovan: *a 23-year-old housewife *a charming, energetic and cheerful girl *full of imagination and enthusiasm for life *considerate of other's feelings *acts and speaks with deliberation Edward Lockwood: *Agnes' husband *a 35-year-old general manager of the HSBC bank on Wall Street *gentle, calm yet old school *a male chauvinist
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Stefan Salvatore: *Agnes' high school classmate *Daisy's ex-boyfriend *a graduate student at New York University *attractive, smart and thoughtful *reticent but with a great sense of humor Daisy Forbes: *Agnes' bosom friend (high school classmate) *Stefan's ex-girlfriend *amiable, open-minded, oversensitive Cathy Gilbert: *Agnes' bosom friend (high school classmate) *honest, talks without thinking twice *a gossip
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Content Introduction
p.9
Chapter 1 Same Space, Different Thoughts
p.12
Chapter 2 Say Goodbye
p.17
Chapter 3 New City, New Life
p.22
Chapter 4 Give It a Try
p.26
Chapter 5 An Unexpected Encounter
p.32
Chapter 6 Chance
p.36
Chapter 7 What Do I Want?
p.39
Chapter 8 Receiving Permission
p.43
Chapter 9 A Feeling of Change
p.46
Chapter 10 The Gap
p.50
Chapter 11 Falling in Love
p.53
Chapter 12 Wrong Choice, True Love
p.56
Chapter 13 Little Dirty Secret
p.58
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Chapter 14 New Personalities
p.61
Chapter 15 Egoism
p.63
Chapter 16 Enjoy My Life
p.65
Chapter 17 Messin g Up
p.68
Chapter 18 Living in Fear
p.71
Chapter 19 Decision
p.73
Chapter 20 The End of the World
p.76
Chapter 21 Heart Torn
p.79
Chapter 22 Confession
p.81
Chapter 23 Decision
p.85
Chapter 24 Reconciliation
p.88
Chapter 25 Old Town, New Life
p.93
References
p.95
Synopsis
p.96
Words checked = [6433] Words in Oxford 3000™ = [96%] 7
Introduction My name is Agnes Donovan. I’m twenty three years old. Ames, Iowa, my hometown, where I have been living since I was born. Last year I graduated from the Iowa State University. I know it sounds surprising or even a little bit weird, but I’m married. Edward Lockwood, my husband, is an assistant manager of HSBC Bank. Edward and I first met in my second last year at the university, and the way we met was just like how every fairy 8
tale begins. I was rushing to my English Literature class, and I bumped into him at the corner. Edward is gentle, calm and intelligent. At that time, he had already been working for the bank for about ten years. Oh, I forgot to say that Edward is twelve years older than me. My friends used to ask me why I wanted to marry a man who was much older than me right after I graduated, and I always gave answers like “I’m a woman. I am supposed to be a good housewife and 9
that’s all I want－marry a rich man and enjoy the rest of my life with no worry. Besides, I know that Edward is the best choice for me, so why not?” Now I am a happy housewife, and my life is almost perfect, and I think it’s the best proof. Now I am one hundred percent sure that I have made the right decision.
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Chapter 1 Same Space, Different Thoughts
I get up in the early morning, and I am full of delight because today is our big dayďź? our first wedding anniversary! During the day, I dress myself up, decorate the dining room, and get the candlelit dinner 11
prepared. I like all those romantic stuff, just like other girls in my age. “I want this day to go well as I have planned,” I tell myself. “It’s going to be one of the best memories in my life.” Edward comes home at six. When he steps into the house, I can tell that he is delighted, too. I haven’t seen him smiling like that ever since we met. However, I am a little disappointed because I thought that he would praise me for my dress, but he doesn’t. I suggest that we have dinner first. 12
After sitting down, Edward promptly starts expressing his great joy. “Agnes, I have some good news for you. I’ve been promoted to the general manager!” he is almost shouting. “I’m going to be in charge of the head office on Wall Street. We are going to the New York City!” I don’t know how to react at that sudden moment. “No wonder you looked so happy when you first stepped into the house, huh?” I say. “Of course! There’s nothing that would make me happier right 13
now!” he says, totally immersing himself in the heavenly joy. “Good for you, Edward.” I say. “You’ve been devoting all your time and effort to working. You deserve it.” “Finally, my big day has come!” he says when he opens the bottle of French wine which he has stored for more than ten years. As I look at him pouring it into the glasses, my mind has been bursting with a thousand thoughts. “There is nothing that could make you happy except this stupid promotion?” 14
“You open your favorite French wine for your promotion, not for our anniversary?� Nothing than the fact that he has forgotten our wedding anniversary could make me more furious with him. I want to yell at him, but I don’t. It would be better if I am the only one who is in a bad mood, so for the rest of the suppertime, I pretend like I am glad of his success. I smile but keep silent.
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Chapter2 Say Goodbye “Agnes, get yourself prepared. We’re going to leave this Saturday.” Edward told me this morning. To be honest, I’m still annoyed by what happened last night, but my duty is to be a well-behaved housewife. I have to control my temper. And that’s why Edward doesn’t notice at all and goes blissfully to work. After I finish the housework, I sit at the table and start making a list. There is a bunch of 16
things need to be done before we leave. So first, I go to see Mom and Dad and tell them that Edward and I are heading to New York. “I’m very proud of your husband, Agnes.” Mom says. “So do I.” I respond. Despite the disappointing event of yesterday, I have to say that I am sincerely glad for Edward’s promotion because now there’s another evidence to prove that I’ve married the right person. Anyway, the purpose I come here is to say goodbye. It’s always hard to say goodbye, 17
especially to those you truly love from the bottom of your heart. Mon and Dad just remind me to take care of myself again and again, and to call them as often as I can. I keep back my tears, though I am so unwilling to separate from my parents. I don’t stay long, and then I go back home to pack our suitcases. There aren’t many things to put in. Edward said that we could buy all the necessities there. The most important thing that must be carried with me is my diary. I have been keeping 18
a diary since I was in elementary school. My teacher told me that it was a good way to improve writing skills, so since then I’d fallen into the habit of keeping a diary. I write down everything in it, including my little secrets. In order to make sure that Edward won’t find it, I hide it inside the mattress because I’m the one who cleans it. When Edward is home, I am all packed and sitting at the dining room waiting for him to have supper. “I’ve gone to see my Dad and Mom this afternoon, and the 19
suitcases are also packed as well.” I say, in an aloof way. Nevertheless, Edward is so cheerful that he doesn’t notice that there is a change in my tone. “That’s nice. Then we can leave on time.” he says. Tonight, again, I am the listener.
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Chapter3 New City, New Life
New York is so different from Ames. Though I’ve already known that, I am still quite shocked. New York is populous, modern and beautiful, in my own opinion. 21
We settle down in Manhattan, the most densely populated of the five boroughs of the New York City. Without doubt, our new home is much smaller than the one back in Ames, but since we are only a couple without kids, it doesn’t bother me. We spend the whole weekend cleaning up the house. I am completely exhausted with it. On the other hand, it seems that Edward is full of energy, and we all know why he acts so. On Monday morning, I wake up early to prepare a large breakfast for 22
Edward. After all, it’s a new and meaningful day for him. After he heads to work, I sit at my desk and open my diary. I have so many things to write about that I don’t even know where to start. I miss my parents, my old and nice neighbors and the smell of my old bed, thought it has only been two days since we left. All the things that around me now are brand new, but I feel like there is a lack of something. I am so bored that I spend the whole day watching TV series. Actually, I am staring 23
at the screen, thinking about other things. After Edward comes back from work, we have supper and a little conversation, and that’s all.
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Chapter 4 Give It a Try Three weeks have passed, and I’m still doing the same things day after day: preparing the meals, doing the housework and watching the TV series on my own. I feel like there is nothing worth being written in my diary. “Am I going to lead such an ordinary life like this for the rest of my life?” I ask myself. “I don’t want this. I’m only twenty three years old, there are supposed to be plenty of fascinating 25
things waiting for me to experience.” “Maybe I should contact Daisy and Cathy, and we can talk about the old times and have fun together, like we always did.” Thinking of this, I open the address book to search for their numbers. Daisy and Cathy are my best friends. We were high school classmates, so obviously, we are all from Ames. Now they are both having a job in Manhattan. Daisy is a fashion designer. It has been her greatest ambition since I knew her, and now she has realized 26
her dream. I suppose she is satisfied now. Yet, compared to Daisy, Cathy is a little bit like a loafer. She doesn’t have any ambitions for her life. The reason she comes here is to escape from her parents. Cathy hates taking responsibilities, so when she was told that she should support the family financially, she chose to run away. Now she is taking three part-time jobs at Times Square. At first, I hesitate. I have lost contact with them for a year. “What if they are too busy to see me?” I 27
question myself. “Or what if they just simply don’t want to see me?” In the end I choose to call them because I know that if I don’t do so, I am going to live a boring life forever. I pick up the phone and call Daisy first. Waiting makes me nervous, but it also gives me hope. Finally, somebody answers. “Hello?” Daisy says. “Hi, Daisy, it’s me, Agnes! How are you doing lately?” I say. “Oh My God! Agnes! Oh, I’m doing pretty well, you know, everything has gotten better since I came 28
here. How about you? I heard that Edward got a promotion, so you moved to here, too.” Daisy says with excitement. “Well, so far so good. I am wondering that if you, Cathy and I can hang out together since we haven’t seen each other for ages.” I say, full of nervousness. “That’ll be great! I’ll call Cathy and ask her. I’ll call you back, OK? Daisy replies. Our conversation doesn’t last long, but I feel relieved and cheerful. I know that we are still friends even though we have been separated since 29
we graduated. Now I’m full of energy again, looking forward to the date.
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Chapter 5 An Unexpected Encounter The reunion between the three of us after a year is very touching. We chat, without embarrassment. I realize that all my worries are groundless. I have a good time with them because hanging out with them gives me a feeling of being young, though I am now. Nevertheless, there is one more thing. I run into Stefan on the way home! Stefan Salvatore is my high school classmate. The four of us, Daisy, Cathy, 31
Stefan and I, were in the same class. Stefan used to sit beside me, but we didn’t talk much. He is a smart boy and pretty attractive, exactly the type that the girls are crazy about, but kind of reticent, so we didn’t have a chance to get to know each other at that time. I am surprised at the moment when he calls me. I didn’t know that he is living in Manhattan, too. He tells me that he’s now a graduate student at New York University. We don’t have much time to talk. I need to get back home 32
to prepare the dinner. Before I go to bed at night, I think of Daisy and Cathy. I am happy that now I’m in contact with my best friends again. Then I think of the conversation I had with Stefan. He knows that I’m married, of course, since he has attended my wedding ceremony. Then I think of Daisy again. “Am I supposed to tell Daisy that Stefan is now in Manhattan?” I ask Edward, who is lying beside me. “That’s none of your business, sweetie.” Edward answers, and within a 33
few minutes, he falls asleep. “Or maybe she has already known that?” I thought. After all, Daisy was Stefan’s ex-girlfriend.
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Chapter 6 Chance The next morning, sitting on the sofa, I am lost in thought gazing out the window. “How would I be if I went for graduate school?” I question myself. “Would I be happier?” Now my life is completely a bore. I have friends and a high standard of living, but deep in my heart, I’m not happy at all. Though I have a family, I feel lonely. For Edward, his business is the center of his universe. It makes me feel 35
like he takes our family for granted, never devoting himself to it. I don’t know how to talk it out with him. I’m afraid. I’m afraid that it would weaken our relationship. To tell the truth, I envy Daisy and Cathy. In comparison with them, I’m like a bird in a cage. I don’t have much freedom. Edward doesn’t want me to attend too many social activities. I suppose it’s because he’s a male chauvinist. It doesn’t surprise me since most of the successful men in their thirties 36
are, too. When I first got married, I thought that I could live with it, but now I realize that I was wrong. Then I thought of New York. I’m now in Manhattan! It may be the opportunity which God gives me. It may be the opportunity for me to escape from this cage. Shortly I go out and wander around this city. “It’s my chance! I have to take it!”
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Chapter 7 What Do I Want? Walking on the street, I can feel a faint
breeze. Somehow I come to the New York University. Sitting on a bench, I observe those students who walk by. “If I chose to be a graduate, would I be like them?” I question myself. They all seem lighthearted, without worry. I guess all they can think of is their research paper. Suddenly, someone comes and sits beside me. It’s Stefan. “Hey, what are you doing 38
here, young married woman?” he asks. “I just want to walk around Manhattan and take a look.” I say. I am delighted to see him because Stefan is one of the few people I know in this city. We chat. I didn’t suppose that we would talk that much since we didn’t know each other well in high school. During the conversation, I can tell that Stefan has grown a lot, and he isn’t that reticent as he used to be. “You’ve changed a lot, Stefan.” I say. “Well, I guess it’s Manhattan that 39
changes me. I think that you’ve already found out that it’s completely different from our hometown, isn’t it? It’s an amazing place. It helps you open your mind and look at the world.” “Honestly, I envy you.” I say. “How come? You live a better life than me, don’t you?” “No, I don’t.” I reply sorrowfully. Then I tell him the situation I’m in and my feelings. Actually, I think I am complaining. When I finish my words, he asks me, “Why don’t you sign up for some classes that 40
interest you in this university? Then you can be a student and a housewife at the same time!” As I hear his suggestion, I become cheerful. That’s exactly what I want! I want to enjoy the student life again. After sunset, we say goodbye to each other. I feel like I am full of energy. “I’m going to do what I want.” I tell myself repeatedly on the way home.
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Chapter 8 Receiving Permission “Honey, I would like to discuss with you about something, a crucial issue.” I say, during the suppertime. I can tell that Edward must be in a good mood, and it’s the perfect timing for me. “Oh, OK, what’s that?” he says. “Umm, actually, I’m thinking of going back to school. I mean, I’m not going to study for a master degree, I just want to sign up for some courses that I’m interested in. You know, 42
I’m always fond of learning, so I would like to continue this good habit.” I say deliberately, making sure that my words convey my ideas well. I wait for his reply, in silence. I’m sweating. I’m afraid that Edward won’t allow me to do so. “Hmm, of course, why not? It’s never too old to learn, still less you. You’re so young, sweetie, it’s the best way to keep your heart young forever.” Edward replies with a smile. I’m quite shocked! Now I understand how the success in his career 43
has an extreme influence on him. I’m supposed to be displeased by this revelation, but the truth is that I find out that I don’t care. Really, I don’t care. I suspect that there’s something wrong with me, but does it matter? The only thing I’m certain of is that I want to be young again!
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Chapter 9 A Feeling of Change I have to admit that instead of the professors’ lecturing, what indeed fascinates me is being a student again. I sign up for Classical Literature, my favorite subject. After the class, I meander through the corridor, the campus, and finally I go to the students’ cafeteria. I’m waiting for Stefan, who has promised to have lunch with me. I’m a person who attaches importance to punctuality. 45
Nothing can displease me more than waiting. However, this time I don’t feel that way anymore. After a few minutes, Stefan shows up, “Hey, sorry, I’m the one who is supposed to be waiting here.” “Well, if you treat me to lunch, maybe I’ll consider accepting you apology.” I say, acting like a naughty little girl. I’ve never behaved like this. I guess now I’m really young at heart. During the meal, we talk about our classes and share our own ideas. Stefan majors in mathematics, something 46
I’m a poor hand at, but that’s why I like to talk with him. He’s a real genius. It seems like he knows more than me, though I used to get better scores. There is one thing about Stefan that I have never discovered before－his great sense of humor. We didn’t talk much when we were in high school, as a result, I didn’t notice that. I think that smart boys tend to be more humorous than others. I indeed have a good time during our conversation. Since I married Edward, I haven’t got any 47
chance to talk with any boy or man due to his jealousy, but now I’m talking with a boy! What a miracle in my life!
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Chapter 10 The Gap Stefan and I have a deal－having lunch together every day. I’ve been attending the courses for a month, and for sure, I’ve been having lunch with Stefan for a month, too. It seems like there’s nothing we can’t discuss about. We share everything with each other. I’ve never felt so close with anyone before, not even with Edward. “Is it because of the ages?” I often think about this recently. I always thought that 49
Edward and I don’t have much to talk about is because he’s too busy at work, so when he’s back home, he needs rest, but now I doubt that. “The age－that is the gap between us!” I suddenly realize that. We have nothing in common, and it’s all because of the age. I can share everything with Stefan because we are at the same age. A year ago, when I decided to marry Edward, I didn’t think of it as a big problem. I thought love could deal with everything, but now the truth is telling me 50
that I was wrong. “So what?” I ask myself. “It won’t change the fact that I’m Edward’s spouse. It won’t change anything.”
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Chapter 11 Falling in Love When I attend the class this morning, I tell
myself that I must remember who I am and what I should do. As usual, I have the Classical Literature class first, and then I have lunch with Stefan. I don’t talk much this time. “You don’t look very well today. Anything happened?” he asks. I want to tell him, but I don’t know where to start or even how to; therefore, I say, “Don’t you think that it’s inappropriate that we meet 52
every day?” “You mean, as a girl who has been married and a single boy? He asks. “I know what you’re worried about. I’ve thought about it, too.” “I think it’ll be better if we don’t meet so often. My husband doesn’t know that I have lunch with you every day, and I don’t want to cause any misunderstanding.” I say, though I don’t really mean it. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll respect you.” he replies, without any facial expression. I can’t sleep all night. All I can think of is 53
the dilemma I’m in and Stefan’s face. I watch the sun rises, and I try to figure out what’s in my mind. I do not attend the classes today, so I won’t meet Stefan. Somehow, even when I’m staying at home watching my favorite TV series, Stefan is the only person that comes to my mind. I begin to feel bored and alone again, like before. At that moment, I realize that it’s love. It’s love, absolutely.
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Chapter 12 Wrong Choice, True Love Now I’ve realized that I’m in love with Stefan, but what can I do? I am married and I have a family. Although nothing happens between Stefan and me, I feel ashamed. Still, I can’t help wanting to see him. I walk into the campus, thinking of Stefan. I stand in front of the cafeteria. I stand there for an hour, with blank thought. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just stand there. Then I see him, right in front of me, 55
smiling. We have lunch together, again. Afterwards, we sit under an old oak tree, staring at the blue, limpid sky. Suddenly, he kisses me. I freak out, but I don’t resist. “I know it’s wrong, but I love you.” he says. “Loving a person is never wrong.” I reply. My eyes brim with tears.
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Chapter 13 Little Dirty Secret I’m on my way to Cathy’s home. We have planned to spend one night with each other, like we always did: gossiping, grumbling and so on. Tonight, we decide to have a heart-to-heart talk, which is extremely exciting, according to Cathy. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but since I want to make it a real heart-to-heart talk, and you are also my best friend, let me just say this. Well, umm, 57
Daisy’s boss recently has confessed his feeling for her!” Cathy says. “She hasn’t decided what to do yet.” “I don’t see any problem in it. I mean, they are both single.” I say. “Well, yes, but things aren’t always that simple. It’s not just about their marital status. He’s her boss!” Cathy retorts. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think that much.” I say. “You are not the Agnes as you used to be, huh? What happened? Talk it out!” she asks, urging me to tell her my deepest secret. I hesitate, but finally I tell her 58
everything. “Oh my God! Agnes, are you insane? You are Edward’s spouse. How can you do this?” Cathy shouts. “I’m not judging you, Agnes. You’re my best friend. I’m worried about you. So what are you going to do next?” “I don’t know, Cathy. Maybe I’ll end my marriage in divorce.” I sigh. “Anyway, no matter what decision you make, don’t forget that I’m always on your side, OK?” Cathy smiles, “That’s what best friends are for.”
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Chapter 14 New Personalities It’s bedtime. Lying on the bed, I think of the talk I had with Cathy yesterday. I try to figure out why I’m acting like this. Her words linger in my mind and can never be expelled. “You are not the Agnes as you used to be.” Now I’m confused. She was right. I was a person who always acts with deliberation. I think twice before doing anything, and I think more than others. But now it seems like I’ve changed into a 60
completely opposite person. My own feelings and happiness are the top priorities now. I’m married, but I don’t think of Edward nor care about him anymore. What terrible thoughts! I don’t want to hurt anyone, but now the only thing that I’m certain of is that if I go back to be the Agnes that I used to be, I won’t be happy.
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Chapter 15 Egoism Those moments I spend with Stefan are the best of my life. One day, due to my curiosity, I ask him why Manhattan changes him so much through all these years. “New city, new life and new Stefan!” he says. He tells me that since he has moved to Manhattan, he was attracted by the life here. “Full of vitality here.” “a fast-paced life” “never bores you” These are the descriptions he uses to define this 62
city. “Maybe I’ve changed, too.” I say. “Yes, I’ve noticed that. Umm, I know you must have been frustrated and consider yourself as a sinful person, but what I want to tell you is that if you have made sure what you truly want for life, then just follow your heart, and remember, never live to regret.” “Never live to regret? Never live to regret! Why didn’t I think of that?” Now I’m enlightened. Finally, I realize that my purpose of living isn’t to make others happy. 63
Chapter 16 Enjoy My Life This morning, as usual, I attend the classes and have lunch with Stefan. Though we always do the same thing, every time I have different feelings and that’s why I’m never uninterested. We ramble in the campus and talk about everything. I’m not exaggerating, really, everything! There is no communication gap between us. I cannot converse with Edward well due to the generation gap. 64
Anyway, all I want to do now is to throw away all the worries, and enjoy my life. “Have you got any plan for this evening?” Stefan suddenly asks me. “Well, actually, I’m going to have dinner with Daisy and Cathy. You know, a talk between bosom friends.” I reply carefully, trying not to bring back his heartbreaking memory. Well, because according to Daisy, it was her who broke it off. “Oh, I didn’t expect that you girls are still in touch.” “In fact, we didn’t since we graduated. Now it’s 65
because all of us are settling down in the same city again. I really appreciate that. It’s good to have friends, to have someone to accompany you.” “Am I included in one of these people?” “You tell me!” I giggle, and then leave for the restaurant where we girls are going to meet.
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Chapter 17 Messing Up “Hey, sweetie, what’s wrong? You look ghastly. Are you ill?” For the first time, Edward easily penetrates my thoughts. “Umm, I just had a little quarrel with Daisy, nothing more, don’t worry. I’m fine.” “Oh, I see, but I think it would be better for you to go to bed earlier tonight, your face is telling me that you need some rest. I’ll go out and grab something for dinner myself.” he insists. Edward takes 67
me to the bedroom. I don’t want him to be concerned about my bad moods, so I pretend that I fall asleep immediately. After I have heard him shut the door, I opened my eyes. All I can see now is the scene of how Daisy humiliated me in front of the public. I shouldn’t have told Cathy my affair with Stefan. Everybody knows that she is a gossip. I thought that she wouldn’t betray me, but what she said to me today was “Well, I’m sorry, but Daisy is my best friend, too.” I was such an idiot 68
to believe her! I’m mad with her, but what indeed makes me distraught is Daisy. Now she’s known that I’m dating with her ex-boyfriend. She didn’t embarrass me with words. Actually, she didn’t say anything. When the waitress came to serve us the coffee, she just stood up and poured it on my face. Cathy was dumbfounded. Every single person in the restaurant was looking at me.
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Chapter 18 Living in Fear Now I’m worried. I’m afraid that Daisy will uncover my secret. I’m afraid that she will tell Edward about it in order to get her revenge. I know that our friendship is over, and we’re not going to get along well with each other like the old days. I’ve lost my best friend. I’ve thought that maybe it’s my fault. I shouldn’t be dating with Stefan. But we are all adults. Why should we keep acting like teenage girls, 70
playing this kind of silly games? Giving each other the silence treatment! We have the right to love the person we love. Why can’t we just let bygones be bygones? Why should we be trapped in the past, torturing ourselves? Still less Daisy, she is now dating with her boss, too. Why does she even need to care? Anyway, I have no mood to think about the relationship between us at this moment. What really disturbs me is what action Daisy is going to take next. 71
Chapter 19 Decision I didn’t sleep at all last night. Before the clock strikes eight, I’ve already got dressed. I have breakfast with Edward, as always. However, this time, I heart beats so fast that I lack appetite. “It seems like you don’t feel better, right? You’re still having a pale complexion. I think you should go to see a doctor.” Edward says. Recently I feel like he is more concerned about our family than before. I have a bad 72
conscience about cheating on Edward. He loves me, but in the end I’ll hurt him. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s almost eight thirty. You should leave for work.” I reply. After finishing the housework, I head to school. I tell Stefan what happened between Daisy and me. I tell him that I‘m uptight about it. “I’m going to get the divorce from Edward.” I tell Stefan confidently after our discussion. I know that I can’t keep living like this. I have hurt the people I care so much about. 73
I want to stop it before the things get worse.
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Chapter 20 The End of the World Evening drags, the way it does when you feel tense and anxious. I’m waiting for Edward. Eventually, he comes home. “Edward, there is something I need to tell you.” I say, trembling. Beyond all expectations, he gives me a slap across my face. I’m totally shocked. I stare at him. “Finally, huh? Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for your confession?” Edward has already known it, I realize. 75
“I…” “I tell myself to treat you better, and maybe you’ll come back to me again. I didn’t intend to unmask your dirty scandal at first, but you know what? Your best friend came to my office today, shouting at me, like a nut. Why should I endure all of this? It’s your fault!” Tears roll down my face. I know I have no right to cry, but I can’t help myself. “Let’s get the divorce. I think it’s the best choice for both of us.” It’s the last sentence he says to me today, and also the last one in our marriage. In 76
the end, I get what I have been longing for, but I feel miserable now. Tears make my eyes dulled. Lacking strength, I fall on the floor.
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Chapter 21 Heart Torn Edward doesn’t say anything to me this morning and that makes me feel worse. After he goes out, I’m struggling whether I should attend the classes today. Well, I still go and meet Stefan. Now he knows the trouble we’re facing. “So, are you really going to get the divorce? I mean, is it indeed what you want?” he asks. “I was going to tell him, so I guess, yes. Besides, I have no choice.” I say, again, my eyes 78
brim with tears. I don’t know what is happening to me. I’ve already got what I want, a free life and the true love, but why I feel like my heart is torn? It’s too painful for me to bear. Stefan helps me wiping my tears. “No matter what decision you make at last, I’ll respect you. Just follow your heart, OK?” I do not give him any reply. I just stand up, and head to the classroom.
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Chapter 22 Confession “Just follow your heart.” “Just follow your heart.” “Just follow your heart.” This sentence keeps arising in my mind. Now I’ve got what I was longing for, but at the same time, I’ve lost everything that I took for granted. Now I understand why we cannot have it both ways. What’s worse, I hurt people. To tell the truth, I shouldn’t have lied to Daisy. I should have told her. I know I’m the person who did the wrong 80
thing. I just don’t want to admit it. And Edward, I think he won’t forgive me forever. If he is going to hate me for the rest of his life, that’s reasonable enough. I betrayed him. I hurt him deeply. Now I realize that while pursuing my own happiness, I’m ruining others’. I pick up the phone. “Mom? It’s me, Agnes. Is everything all right with you and Daddy?” “Oh, my little girl, you haven’t called us for months. Yeah, we’re fine.” “Mom, please listen to me, there is something 81
important that I need to tell you right now.” I muster up my courage and tell her everything with detail. After a long silence, she tells me, “Darling, I can see that you’ve known that you made a great mistake. As a mother, I’m supposed to scold you, but this is your life, Agnes. You have to deal with it yourself. I’m not going to say much. I just want to remind you that, when you are going to make the next decision, think twice. And don’t forget that Daddy and I will always 82
support you. We love you.” “I know, Mom. Thank you.” I hang up the phone, tears run down my face, but this time, I don’t feel hopeless anymore.
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Chapter 23 Decision This morning, Edward still says nothing to me, and I still attend the classes. At noon, I’m sitting in the student cafeteria, waiting for Stefan. When he sees me, he smiles. We have lunch together. During the meal, we talk about what we have learnt in class today, like we always do. When we finish eating, Stefan suggests that we go for a walk around the campus. “I’m not going.” I say to him. “Why? You said that you 84
enjoy taking a walk. Do you feel uncomfortable?” “Stefan, these days that we spent together are the best moments of my life, really. I like being with you, but a relationship like this can’t buy me true happiness. After hurting those people I care about, I realize that I don’t want it anymore. Let’s just get back to our former lives when you and I are not necessary to each other. I know it’s too late for anything now, but this is exactly what I want. I’m sorry. I destroy your life, and 85
mine.� Stefan wasn’t expecting this kind of ending. When he hears this, he is speechless with shock.
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Chapter 24 Reconciliation
I’m on my way to Daisy’s studio. Walking on Times Square, I feel relieved. “I have said that whatever you choose to do, I’ll respect your decision. Goodbye, Agnes. I hope you can have a better life from now 87
on.” These are the last words Stefan told me. He’s really a good person. I still love him, but it’s another form of love now. The kind that even we aren’t together, I can still feel the warmth; the kind that even everything has turned into memory, I can still feel it. I arrive at Daisy’s studio, without the least hesitation, I walk in. Daisy stars at me, huffily. “Get out of here! I don’t want to see you!” she shouts. “I come here to apologize, and ask for your forgiveness.” “If you had been aware of 88
what you have done to me, you wouldn’t come here.” “I’ve broken up with Stefan just before I came to you, and I’m going to receive a divorce from Edward. I’m sorry, Daisy. I know you’re hurt because of me, and it’s my fault. If there is anything that can make you feel better, I’ll do it at all costs.” Daisy looks at me, without a word. “When I started dating with Stefan, I was afraid that you would get hurt. I want both my own happiness and our friendship. I was selfish. I was too 89
concerned with myself, so I chose not to tell you. I thought I could keep this in secret forever, but in the end I still hurt you. I’m really sorry. After I lost you and Edward, I realized how much I cared about you. I realized that there is nothing which can replace our friendship.” Daisy keeps back her tears. “I always consider you to be my best friend. I hope you can find your true love and live happily. The affair between you and Stefan didn’t bother me that much. I just couldn’t 90
understand why you lied to me. I have to apologize, too, for not realizing that it was because you cared about my feelings. I’m sorry.� Finally, we are reconciled and we hug each other, in tears.
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Chapter 25 Old Town, New Life “Mommy, what are we going to have for dinner? I’m starving!” April asks, blinking her bright and watery eyes. “I got an A plus for my math test today!” “Wow! You’re excellent, my little sweetheart. Would you like to have roasted butterball turkey and baked salmon fillet? ” April is my 8-year-old daughter, who excels in math and those numbers’ stuff. Yes, eight years have passed and now I’m a single 92
mother. After I have separated from Edward, I found out that I was pregnant, but I decided to bring up April on my own. Now we live in a little town, far away from Manhattan, the city which is full of my memory. The truth is I enjoy my life now, and so does April.
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References [Pictures] http://www.decoist.com/2012-07-26/t he-english-countryside-an-inspiring-ci ty-alternative/ http://tulane.edu/news/newwave/infoc us_082112.cfm http://www.architonic.com/ntsht/upgr ading-nature-a-revolutionary-treatmen t-for-wood-in-outdoor-areas/7000664 http://espie321.wordpress.com/2013/0 4/15/candlelight-dinner-for-2/ http://wallpaperswide.com/manhattan _aerial_view_at_night-wallpapers.ht ml http://www.bryantriangle.com/feature s/students-voice-their-opinion-on-cafe teria-food/ http://englishthroughlaxas.blogspot.tw /2013/09/284-cs-admon-finanzas-less on-diary.html http://www.hogwartsishere.com/librar y/book/1233/read/ 94
Synopsis Agnes, a 23-year-old girl, marries Edward right after she graduates from the university and moves to New York due to her husband's promotion. She thought that she has achieved her goal in lifeďź?to marry a wealthy man and be a happy housewife, but gradually, she gets tired of leading such an ordinary life. One day, she runs into her former high school classmate, Stefan, and then her life starts with a completely new story... 95
E45B Nelly Huang 1099300081 Instructor: Mr. Kenneth M.Smith Wenzao Ursuline University of Languages Kaohsiung, Taiwan June, 2014
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