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The White Chamber By: Janet Huang
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Words Checked: 4924 Words in Oxford 3000: 92%
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Content Chapter 1. Felicia’s preface…4 Chapter 2. Felicia’s Dream….13 Chapter 3. Felicia’s falling in Love..31 Chapter 4. Please Don’t, Daddy….39 Chapter 5. The very first time ..45 Chapter 6. Wake up or Another Nightmare…51 Chapter 7. The cruel Truth’s out there…56
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Chapter One: Felicia’s Preface I am alone in a white chamber with a door often sealed and it’s very bright here. The room is really tiny like a prison. However ,there’s not any scary prisoners. I have no idea why I am here. All the things I can see are all white and rusty although I know what shapes they are. However, the things here are all white and dull. The ceiling is white. The wall is white (is it rusty?). The table and the chair are white. The
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cloth decorated in this room is all deadly white. There’re not any windows for me to look outside of this weird place. It’s so strange that because in a room without windows. How can I breathe without fresh air? I can see everything very clearly. Nevertheless, I cannot see my face because there’s no mirror here. But, I can see that my hands are pale and white. I am tearing my skin on my fingers. I am just trying to find things in color like my blood
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which is supposed to be bloody red. However, I only can see some white liquid crashed out of my torn skin of my fingers. I don’t feel scared of the liquid. It’s not scary. It’s not blood. It’s just like some water mixed with the milk. Perhaps I am enjoying tearing of the finger skin. However, I am not actually. The queerest point is that I don’t feel pain. That’s why I can keep tearing skin on my finger. I’ve got so many questions like why am I here, why is
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this room decorated in white, and why I cannot see anything colorful and vivid. There will be people come to see me everyday. I don’t know that if they are going to visit me or not.
They don’t
carry any gifts. But still, I am always looking forward to their visit. It’s the only short period when
the door won’t
be sealed, and I feel like I can breathe some fresh air. The faces of visitors are not clear but dim. Actually, I don’t think they’re visitors but food feeders. They
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don’t bring me gifts but food. I don’t even think they’re human-beings. They are always giving me some stick and thick nutriment to eat. It’s hard to swallow it. The food or the nutriment tastes awful or I should say disgusting. No taste, not delicious, it’s not tasty to swallow. Sigh, I shouldn’t expect too much. It’s because I am not in my home. However, I still want to ask why I am here. Sometimes they give me some injections and white pills which I have
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no idea why I have to take these.
Of
course, those liquid in these unknown injections are white, too.
The light
upon me is dazzling my eyes. Certainly that I won’t be in the darkness in this room. I shouldn’t be afraid, but very strange is that I am quite insecure in this quiet, bright room. The door has been opened now, so I guess it’ time to be taken another shot.
The visitors who
have dim faces and in white clothes has just come. I once said I don’t feel hurt.
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No, I don’t feel hurt. When they punch the tiny pin into my skin, into my blood vessel, I don’t feel scared or hurt. It’s like a daily process. They give me food and I have to be given shots.Or it’s like the science fiction stories; I was kidnapped to a spaceship that aliens own.
Maybe they use me to do
experiments.
They are observing
my reactions to the medicine. Maybe, I don’t know. Everything could be possible. It’s a treat I guess, they keep
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me alive, and I have to be the objects for the experiments. Eh? Why is the surrounding revolving? Some parts of my brain are numb. I think I am going to faint now because of these shots which had mysterious functions in my brain. The whisper far away is murmuring near my ears.
The ceiling
is revolving now, too. Yes, all of this is a daily process. Given food and then injected shots and next step is‌..wait‌ I cannot make myself conscious any
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more …….
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Chapter Two: Felicia’s Dream Felicia was having a dream after she was given a shot. She was in a room very familiar to her in the dream. She immediately remembered it was her original room at her home. It was white, too. Felicia’s father decorated it for her. Her Lucy doll was laying on her bed beside the window. She used to hug Lucy doll when she was alone at home. She often waited at the dinner table for her Daddy’s to
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come back. Daddy said that he had to work harder to make their home. Felicia thought Daddy was right. So, she always just sat there and waited, hugging Lucy Doll. Actually Felicia didn’t go to school. It’ was because she was always laughed at that she didn’t have a mother.
“Felicia’s a dumb got
no mom,” sang the school boys. They pulled Felicia’s pig tales, and made fun of her. The school boys, could be only nine to ten years old, thought it was
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really interesting to see a little girl crying there alone. There was no one to help her. More children joined in “Felicia’s game”. They could win the game if they made Felicia cry loudly. They locked the door when Felicia was in the restroom. Felicia always was taken out by teachers who heard her screaming and weeping. The textbooks that Felicia had could never be a complete book. They were torn into pieces. Felicia really didn’t understand
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why they made fun of her. Why didn’t they go to tease the others?
Once she
quietly stood there and was wet. Yes, they just used the fire hydrant to wet her completely. Felicia couldn’t figure out if there were tears on her face. All the guys around her in the school just stood there cold and no one wanted to help her. They whispered behind her back. Although it was only whisper, Felicia still heard that. They said, “If Felicia’s got a mom who brought shame to her
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family, she would do the same as her mom did, too.” Felicia said not a word, just left the classroom. She was sick of this. She was always trying to be a nice girl. She wanted to be Daddy’s good girl. She was not a dumb. She was quite intelligent. She did very well in school subjects. She loved reading and learning. The teachers liked her, but they didn’t do her any favor. They thought all of these were naughty games. After all, they were kids; they were not adults
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who were wicked. Consequently, teachers ignored the affront in poor Felicia. But, she was too fragile to face all of these. Felicia was only nine years old. How could she understand? She thought everybody hated her. In other words, She had a mom who shamed their family which used to be happy and wonderful, so she became the person to be laughed at and bullied. “Felicia’s dumb got no mom.” The verse they used to make fun of her. They
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thought it was not a big deal. This was a kidding and, it was just a game on pranks. Nevertheless, they didn’t know that how much pain they had brought to Felicia. The harm in the inner space of rooted in Felicia’s heart deeply, but, actually she didn’t hate her mom at all, instead she hated herself because she thought she must have been a bad bad girl, so that was why everybody hated her. She blamed herself all the time. She didn’t think too much that the school
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girls and boys were just too bored with these boring daily subjects. Consequently, they wanted to have some fun. Felicia was quiet. They thought she was strength-less to fight back .
Life’s like this, wasn’t it? The
more powerful ones defeated the others who were weaker.
Human nature isn’t
going to be changed. The lack of fair isn’t going to be changed. Felicia understood this, so she never tried to fight back. She couldn’t fight
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alone against the others in group. She read it from book talked about human nature. It said that the public opinion was the hardest to fight against, and especially when you were alone without anybody’s help. Poor Felicia, she inherited her mom’s crime for her family. Even when she was alone, she could still hear the verse murmuring her ears, like a illusion and it never stopped. She didn’t know how to face these cruel but pure naughty
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games that her classmate made. At last, she chose to escape. She locked herself in the restroom for one short peace period to take a breath. Often she was weeping in the little and hard to breathe restroom. She wanted to protect herself with being alone in her world. She wanted to be stronger, but unfortunately she couldn’t, she was just a little girl, and then she left the school. Her mother, Delilah, left her and her father when she was only six years old.
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Her father, Jackson never told her why mom left them both when she was little and too pure to accept the cruel truth. She heard the story from the others, the older ones. They said her mother had an affair with a rich guy. They said Delilah had fad of wealthy. Felicia’s father was just a poor teacher, earning little money. When the older people talked about her mother’s affair, actually she didn’t understand what an affair is. Eventually Felicia found what the meaning was
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when she grew up older. Nevertheless, she never hated her mother. After all, it was a memory so far away.
Felicia
could only remember that Delilah was holding a man’s arm and lifting some luggage, looked happily, and then turned around, and gave the Lucy doll to Felicia. Her father, Jackson, just stood at the door and spoke not a word. Felicia remembered that Delilah looked at her father scornfully and said “You cannot give me what I want.� Jackson kept
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silent. “Look at this small flat, I cannot stand it anymore.” There was no answer replied from Jackson. “You are nothing to me now, and for me is that you are a poor person who insisted to be honest and, but you never understand the reality is, do you?” Delilah tossed her head and kept speaking without pause, “You should be happy that you won’t need to feed two people that you cannot afford with your poor salary, and I have no idea why I married to you when I
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was so beautiful and young then, come on, let’s see what I am going to have, a villa in east coast and everything in famous brand. I, different from you, poor guy, am going to be rich.” “Mommy, what are you and Daddy talking about? Why are you carrying luggage? Are you going to have a vacation? Mommy?” asked little Felicia with her innocent eyes. “Good girl, you have to stay here. Mommy cannot be with you anymore” Delilah was smiling
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to Felicia hardly, said ”Keep the Lucy doll I give you well, treat her nice, don’t be like your father” turned to Jackson with a mocking face,” I’m so glad that my little girl has my beauty, and I wish she could have a wonderful life in her future.” “Mommy? Why? Why can you not be with me anymore? We were happy, weren’t we?” said Felicia sadly. Delilah took a deep breath and tried to explain to Felicia “When you grow up, you will know what do you really need
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and want. If you want a life what you really want, sometimes you must sacrifice something to have it.” “Daddy? What is Mommy saying?” said Felicia and tried to ask the help from her father. Delilah caressed her little girl’s face and said “Poor Felicia, I’m sorry. I cannot bring you to the east coast. If I brought you, the guy over there wouldn’t be happy about this. I want a joyful life. The man stood aside the car parked in front of the door can give me what I
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want. I am sorry, Felicia, you will understand when you grow up. Mommy’s got to go now. Take care of yourself, ok?” “Mommy?? What are you talking about? Mommy!! Don’t leave us.” Felicia cried. “Just let her go, Felicia, we will be doing fine even without her” Jackson finally said something and was grabbing Felicia’s shoulder tightly. “Sure!” Delilah responded scornfully, ” you will be really wealthy in the future.” “Have you
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had enough?” said Jackson calmly was trying to ignore the insult. “I’m going to enjoy my life, a joyful life, and living in a large cabin but not small flat like a prison, farewell then” said Delilah turned to Felicia “Good bye, sweetie” and she kissed Felicia’s forehead. She got in the car. The car just sped away from Delilah’s family home. That was the last time Felicia saw her mother.
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Chapter Three: Felicia’s falling in Love
Felicia put the Lucy doll back on the bed. She guessed the Lucy doll was worn out seriously. Her Lucy doll’s face was pale, too. The eyes of her are dull, and the color of Lucy doll’s dress turned rusty. The eyes of Lucy doll’s looked so empty just like Felicia‘s heart. “I must think of Mommy too much, so I have worn Lucy doll out” she thought. She was alone all the time in this house which mommy used to call prison. She
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didn’t have any friends. Felicia thought everybody hated her. However, she still wanted to make friends. She often looked out the windows to see those teenagers who are at the same age as her. Sometimes when she stood near the windows, she would see a boy named Adam. She heard his friends called him so. She thought she liked him, but Adam would never know a girl up here looked at him all the time. She sometimes dreamed that she could talk to Adam.
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Adam lived very near her place, but she never had a chance to talk to him, because her father didn’t allow her to go out. She didn’t know why. Jackson said. “You should stay at home and be a good girl. Don’t be like that woman who brought shame to us. You are so alike her. That’s why you’d better stay at home. I don’t want you to be like her.” Felicia chose to be Daddy’s good girl. She didn’t want Daddy to be sad. She saw Daddy drinking beer more and
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more at mid-night. She knew that Daddy was sad. Jackson depended on alcohol to erase the pain of his wife’s leaving. She understood that she had to behave herself for her father. Even though she really wanted to make friends, she knew that Daddy wouldn’t allow this.
Therefore, she just stood
near the windows, observed people and looked at Adam who she admired. She started dreaming that she would be with Adam some day when Daddy was not
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so sad anymore. She often saw Adam going out with his parents, and they looked so happy just like her family used to be before her mother left. She was sometime jealous of this. She picked up Lucy doll again, sat on the floor and sang a song Mommy used to sing to her. “Felis~ baby lies on bed, she falls asleep at night, or mom and daddy would stare at her the all night� Delilah always could easily to make Felicia laugh.
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Felicia began to think of all the memories which she had when she was little. Delilah held Jackson’s arm and pulled up Felicia’s little hands when they were going out for a walk. They were singing together. Jackson’s face was soft, just like he owned the whole world when he had a wonderful family. Felicia didn’t sing well, but she still whispered with her mom and dad. However, it was a long time ago. Jackson once was a good man; he was
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generous and kind to everyone with good temper. However, things changed after times went by. He has changed rapidly since Delilah left, too.
Jackson
now had really a bad temper. Everything could easily get him mad. Felicia had no idea how to calm her dear Daddy down. She could only cower and shake in the corner when Jackson yelled at her. She thought it was going to be over sooner or later. Therefore, she ignored the insult and scolding from her dear Daddy.
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She hoped everything was going to be ok soon.
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Chapter Four: Please Don’t, Daddy! Felicia looked around her room. It was so empty just like Lucy doll’s eyes. She was still wondering why she was back here. She kept tearing her finger’s skin sitting on the floor, still trying to find the vivid bloody red. Suddenly, a man rushed inside. It was her father, Jackson, was shouting to Felicia” WHY IS YOUR ROOM TOTALLY A MESS????” Felicia said no at once and responded ” No, Daddy, there’s nothing
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messy here in my room.” “You liar, can’t you see the blood on the floor?” shouted Jackson again. “No, Daddy, I can only see the pure white liquid on the floor” said Felicia.” Are you DAMN color blind?” said Jackson angrily. “No, Daddy, I don’t think so.” “You know what you have to do now, right?” “Please don’t. Daddy, I am sorry. I will behave myself well. Please don’t, please, I am begging you.” said Felicia in a scared tone. She looked so scared. It
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seemed that something serious was going to happen.
“Bad girls should be
punished.” said Jackson cold. He took off his leather belt for his pants. Yes, he was going to punish Felicia with the leather belt and whip his own little girl. He was quite excited. Hot breath came out from his mouth.
“Come, honey,
you know this rule we made, right?” “Yes, Daddy, but I wish you would be kind to me.” Felicia seemed more scared now. “A rule is a rule, and it’s
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never going to be changed” said Jackson emotionless. ”Ready?” asked Jackson but at the same time the whipping had begun slashing Felicia thin skin. Felicia tried not to cry. However, the pain was slitting her skin and she felt like the slashing just came in through her bones. The pain was spreading over her whole body, made Felicia strength-less. She was begging to God the slashing end soon. She really couldn’t stand these pains. Nevertheless,
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Jackson didn’t stop. Felicia started begging her father and asked “Daddy, Daddy, could you please stop? I have had enough. Please, please, could you, Daddy?” “It’s not enough for me” said Jackson in a fierce tone. “And there will be more, sweetie” and Jackson kept whipping and whipping like a crazy man, and it’s like Felicia was a criminal was punished seriously or maybe he was relishing in this moment. Felicia could only whimper. She was not allowed to
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cry or there would be more. She bit her tongue.
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Chapter Five: The very First Time
“HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA” Jackson laughed out crazily,”You want to be a slut like the bitch who left us, right?” “No, Daddy, no, I don’t, and please don’t talk about mommy like that.” said Felicia. Poor Felicia, she was shaking. “How dare you refute me.” said Jackson madly. He rushed to Felicia’s bed and took the Lucy doll and said “This doll that Delilah gave you is not worth kept” The doll was threw it
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out the window. He kicked Felicia after he threw the doll away. Kicking! Kicking! Kicking! KICKING!!!!
Till
finally Felicia felt like she had no strength to say anything. She was so helpless and staring at her father innocently.
Suddenly Jackson turned
soft, and said” Oh! No! Darling? Are you alright?” Felicia couldn’t answer back. She was lying on the floor. Jackson touched her face and said ”Sweetie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t
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mean this.” “Daaadd..dy?” answered Felicia weakly. “Come, honey, we have to fix your wounds.” said Jackson who had just abused Felicia. “Take off your clothes; I have to check your wounds.” ”No, Daddy, I am ok” ”I can fix this myself.” answered Felicia. “Take off your clothes now!!” cried Jackson again as madly as before. “No, I can’t, Daddy. I am seventeen now” refused Felicia,” I don’t think it’s appropriate to take off my clothes in
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front of you.” “I am your Daddy, remember?” said Jackson, “Come! Honey, I will fix your wounds.” And then he took off her clothes fiercely or it could be said he ripped Felicia’s clothes. “You are so like Delilah” said Jackson in lovingly eye sights”Come closer, honey.” Felicia was crying and yelling ” No! Daddy! I am not Mom!!”
“You
are as beautiful as Delilah” kept saying Jackson. He began to touch her body which was shaking. His touches on
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Felicia’s body were very soft and gentle. They were so delicate. However, for Felicia those were not so. She felt disgusted. This man wasn’t her dear Daddy. He’s a mad man now. He’s not healthy minded. She screamed, pushed Jackson away and tried to escape from this white chamber. Jackson grabbed her down. Felicia didn’t have much strength to break away from Jackson’s force because of her wounds. Jackson felt like Delilah
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was back. He kissed Felicia, and he lost his mind already. He raped Felicia. That was the very first time. Felicia fainted.
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Chapter Six: Wake up or Another nightmare? Felicia opened her eyes. Yes, it was a dream. But, it was a dream which reflected her past. She looked around again. “Am I safe here?” she thought. The memories now were full of her head. She shook her head, and tried to forget about those bad memories. She felt something’s coming back. She was quite insecure. She pulled her hair, and held her arm. Her head bended to her
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slender legs. She need some securities by acting this maybe,. “Creak…” the door suddenly opened. Felicia was scared. But, it was just the visitor who came in to give her food. She heard the visitor saying something, but she couldn’t understand. After she finished the stick and thick nutriment, she was given another shot. She fell as sleep again. Yes, the daily process, of course.
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Felicia was now lying on the living room floor. Yes, she was dreaming again, just in the different place.
She
couldn’t move.Ropes were tied on her body. Jackson came in front of her and said “My dear Delilah, are you ok?” Felicia was so afraid of her father now. She screamed again. Shouted loudly. Just like the night that she had been through when Jackson raped her the very first time. She could only weep and let her father kiss her like treating
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mommy. She had no way to escape. When she felt she was hopeless, the image of Jackson slowly disappeared in front of her. But, she saw much more disgusting things. Worms which appeared suddenly were crawling toward to her. They were crawling slowly and slowly. Felicia tried to escape, but she still couldn’t move. The worms were crawling on her skin. They were eating her, and chewing her wounded skin. She was in pain, in great
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pain. She could see the blood now. Bloody red decorated the floor, but it wasn’t her blood. It was her father’s blood. Jackson was lying on the floor and smiling at Felicia, said ” Dear Delilah, I love you.” There was a knife on his back. Felicia screeched out loud.
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Chapter Seven: The Cruel Truth’s Out There There was another room next to the white chamber. The room was bright, too. order.
Everything was put in good However, the difference was
that this room was colored. It was warm and didn’t make people insecure. There were windows. There was an antique table made of brown teak. The curtain was pink. There were people, too. Of course, they were not alone, and
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it seemed that they are gossiping. The three people dressed in white there were in the room talking secretly. “It’s so scary, did you see that?” said one young woman. “Of course I did. The girl in the next door is always tearing her finger skin and shouting during her sleep.” said the other. ”It’s my turn to take care of her today! I really don’t want to look after her” said another old woman. “Have you heard why she was sent here? We are so
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curious about this.” said the first young woman. “I shouldn’t talk about this, but if you really want to know, I will tell you.” said the elder one looking around secretly. “Come on, Teresa, tell us. Don’t tease us” said the second young woman, and she seemed eager to know about this. “OK! OK! But you both have to promise me that you both won’t tell anyone. We are not allowed to tell secrets.” said Teresa. “We promise!” said them both very quickly. “She was
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raped by her father because she looks so much like her mother.” said Teresa secretly. “And then?” the first young woman Cherry asked. “And she killed her father with a knife, the dead body was found in the living room, and then she tried to jump out of the window to commit suicide. When the police arrived , they thought that it was so disgusting. The face of the dead body was smiling and the blood spread on the floor” said Teresa. “Oh my God!! It
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must have been terrible!! How could a nearly dead person put a smile on his face before dying “said Cherry. “Who found the girl and sent her here?” asked the second named Helen. Teresa answered “A young boy whose name is ..eh..Let me think about it.. ah…ah…ah, yeah, Adam!” “A boy? Cherry was quite shocked “Wasn’t he scared then?” “Of course he was, and he told us the girl was a lunatic because he found her often stared at him on the
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second floor before this event already.” responded Teresa, “ and he said he hated her looked at him in that way.” “It must have been scary .” said Helen. “What are all of you doing now?” shouted a man. “NOTHING! Dr. Hughes” responded all three nurses. “OK! Teresa, come, take those colorful pills next door for the girl” said Dr. Hughes. “Why does she have to take those colorful pills and shots?” asked Cherry. ”We’re trying to make her recognize colors again and
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use the medicine to stimulate her reactions to color” said Doctor. Hughes, She was shocked by the blood.” Suddenly there was screaming again from the next door. “Quick! Quick! Go and check her” commanded DR. Hughes. They rushed to the chamber which was painted in red, yellow and blue in a mental hospital. Felicia was screeching loudly and loudly.
She was in her own white
chamber in her dream in her own reality.
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She was tied in the dream, and could only let the worms chew her skin.
The
most unacceptable part is that she was facing her father’s dead body lying on the floor. She knew that she killed Jackson. She now remembered all of those. That night, Jackson climbed up on her bed again. She said no. However, Jackson didn’t listen. He just wanted to taste the feeling that like Delilah was back. Felicia was scared, and this time
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she decided to fight back. She rushed down stairs to the kitchen. She took a knife. She threatened Jackson that if he touched her one more time, she would commit suicide. Jackson wanted to stop her. He ran to Felicia and wanted to take the knife away. Nevertheless, he failed. Felicia rushed to his back. Now she was standing behind Jackson. She suddenly remembered once mom said “When you grow up, you will know what do you
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really need and want. If you want a life that you really want, sometimes you must sacrifice something to have it.” Yes, now she understood . She wanted her freedom. She decided to sacrifice her father. Fiercely she stabbed into Jackson’ back with the knife, again and again with her slender hands. And then, Jackson turned around, smiled, and fell. Felicia towed her father’s dead body to the living room. The blood’s wake on the floor recorded what she had done.
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The fear had disappeared after she killed her father. However, the freedom didn’t come; instead the guilt filled her mind. After then, Felicia went slowly up the stairs to her white chamber which Jackson had decorated for her. She stared at the window. Would there out of the windows be freedom for her? She wanted to find out. Now she was back and tied lying on the white chamber’s floor. She
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understood all of this now. She had to be in this white chamber forever. No matter she woke up or not, she would always be in the white chamber in reality and nightmares. The worms would always be there to eat and chew her soul,to guilt of killing her father, and every nights, Felicia’s yelling never stopped, and the endless nightmare would never stop, too.
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The End