BRITCHAT FEBRUARY

Oven Cleaning / Horno Transformardo Per Ells Raffle / Cesta para Per Ells Mercado Ruzafa/ Ruzafa Market UK Pensions Chat Eating Out / Salir de Comer Americas Cup Timeless Rock / Rock Intemporal Chiropractic / Quiropraxis Costa Blanca Walks Illegal Building woes!

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Editor’s Chat Contents February

2010

Editor’s Chat Coata Blanca Walks News Americas Cup Eating Out Chat Chiropractic Illegal Building News Events Per Ells Presentation UK Pensions Chat Oven Renovation Timeless Rock Golf Competition Chat Moto GP Classified Adverts Brit Fun

3 4 5 7 8 12 14 15 16 17 20 22 26 27 29 30 31

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Walking On The Costa Blanca

By Michael L. Hayes

To most visitors and holidaymakers Spain’s Costa Blanca is just what it’s name means: The White Coast, famous for it’s lovely shoreline, beaches and of course the crystal clear blue, warm Mediterranean sea.

In the summer months, people from all over Europe and beyond come to the Costa Blanca to relax on the beaches or take part in one or more of the many sporting activities available.

For families, this area of Spain has always been one of the most popular holiday destinations, for the not so young, but still young at heart. Very few places in the World can match the range of night time activities ranging from top quality restaurants to fantastic cabaret shows to dancing into the late hours to the top quality theme parks. The Costa Blanca from Autumn to Spring time is equally as popular with sunshine and clear blue skies.

At any time of the year this area offers another type of relaxation, walking and climbing. One of the most

Calpe is also the meeting place for the amateur walker and virtually every day clubs and groups meet at Calpe to walk the hills and surrounding areas, all of which are usually less than a 30 minute drive away. They are well organised and usually classified according to ease or toughness of the walk.

The walks usually last around 3 to 4 hours, leaving Calpe at 10.00 and arriving back no later than 16.00, everyone is welcome and they are informal to allow you to go at your own pace.

The walkers I go with start their programme of 30 different walks at the start of October, ending at the end of April.

They are a great way to see the beautiful countryside that you probably didn’t realise was so close and at the same time making new friends. If anyone wants to join in, then please contact me via BRITCHAT magazine.

famous resorts on this coast line is the fishing port town of Calpe, with it’s own natural park better known as the Peñon De Ifach or little Gibraltar. The Peñon is a solid rock formation standing 1089 ft / 332 m high out to sea, towering over the fishing port and is without doubt the most well known land marks of the area and a magnet for climbers and hikers.

For the less adventuress, visitors of all ages take the more gentle way to the top of the Peñon by a guided walk way that goes through a tunnel blasted through the middle of the rock. From the top on a clear day, you get a marvellous view of the coastline, even being able to see the island of Ibiza.

Have you ever wondered?

Why .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why .....do Tesco’s make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why ......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

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Out & About Chat

NEWS New Mercedez Radar Cars Nuevos radares Mercedes 220

The Guardia Civil have purchased different models of Mercedez Cars, with Radar. The models are as detailed in the Spanish text below.

These photos of the Mercedez cars were taken in Zaragoza, Madrid and Malaga.

Valencia is believed to have similar equipment in Audis and Astra plain cars.

So, as you may now know, the police are short of money and probably see this new method as a “get rich quick” scheme!

La Guardia Civil ha comprado 15 Mercedes C 220 y les ha puesto radar. Fuentes fiables me confirman que han comprado un Mercedes casi por cada capital de provincia.

Todos los modelos son C 220 con matriculas que comprenden entre el 2151 GGR y el 2166 GGR. Son de distintos colores.

El de Burgos es verde oscuro. Aqui mando fotos de los de Zaragoza, Madrid y Malaga.

Valencia tiene coches Astra y Audi!

Así que, como usted ya sabe, la policía está corto de dinero y ver este nuevo método como un “hacerse rico rápido régimen”

Valencia Airport - 2nd phase of enlargement to go ahead.

Infrastructure Minister Jose Banco has presented the plans of his Ministry for Valencia for this year. He also revealed that the second phase of the enlargement of Manises airport would be completed this year.

ON TOP The British Magazine TTG has revealed the top destinations in the world for Brits to spend Valentines Day, based on reservations already made. Some chose Rome, Prague, Paris, Amsterdam or New York, but there was no doubt about the top destination: Benidorm, whilst in seventh place was Torremolinos. It was also revealed that reservations for St Valentines Day increased by 55% over last year.

News

STAR TREATMENT

Fernando Alonso was single handedly responsible for a considerable outpouring of emotion from his fans, as he arrived at the Cheste Circuit on February 3rd and took his place in the Ferrari team. The testing of the new cars for this year’s Formula 1 continued over the next two days. The first appearance of Fernando Alonso, at the wheel of his new Ferrari, drew over 36,000 fans to the Cheste circuit.

During the three days that Ferrari took over the circuit, the actions of the Formula 1 team drew a total of 59,000 spectators.

Meanwhile, Aston Martin has revealed that it has chosen Valencia to launch its first four-door vehicle since 1940. The Aston Martin Rapide has a six-speed automatic gearbox, and the design has been based on the creations of Valencian architect Santiago Calatrava.

Starting price: 199,000 Euros

PULLING OUT The Guardia Civil in the Valencian Community now no longer forms a part of the services available in the 112 emergency number as its communications network has been modernised and seems to be incompatible with the systems used and the Corps has neither the money or the equipment to train members in the use of the updated 112 system that has been modernised to the tune of eleven million mEuros.

Last year the 112 service received over four million calls for help dealing with emergencies of various sorts, of which 3.5% was referred to the National Police Force, which has never been in the 112 system. Now, any 112 operator who believes the Guardia Civil should intervene, has to dial 062 and inform the Corps in that way, losing precious minutes.

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p Americas Cu istory A Brief H ncl. Photo)

By X5’er (I

So this Cup then. What’s it all about? Why the big fuss?

Why all the lawyers? Why can’t they just go sailing and finish the argument on the water? Firstly then…. here’s a few facts.

The Olympics and the football World Cup vie for the position of top sporting event in terms of audience, income etc. The Americas Cup rates third behind them.

It was originally won in 1851. The modern Olympics didn’t get going until 1897. In terms of money, in 2007 the Americas Cup was worth something in the region of 9 BILLION Euros to Valencia, not to mention the kudos et al. That is over a period of some six years or more, much more than either of the other competitions.

However, to understand it all, you have to go back more than 150 years. At that time, Queen Victoria sat on the throne, Britannia ruled the waves and we could beat them all. Then those young upstarts in the New World had other ideas. They decided to come to Britain and try to beat the best with their yacht, patriotically named ‘America’.

The crunch came in the ‘Round the Island’ race, still sailed annually around the Isle of Wight. A fairly plain, off the shelf cup was offered as a prize, and despite whose version of events you read as to whether the Americans cheated or not, they won it. It wasn’t to be the last time that alleged cheating and spying were to rear their ugly heads.

Anecdotally, it was alleged that Victoria asked who came in second place, to which the now famous reply was ‘there is no second place Ma’am’. The Americas Cup was born, named not after the country, as is usually believed, but the yacht herself.

The Americans won it back in 1987 and were then challenged by the New Zealanders to a totally one sided ‘DOG’ match in 1988, which was finally decided by the courts. Common sense once again prevailed and in 1995 the New Zealand Black Magic team took it home. They defended successfully in 2000, but lost it in 2003 to the new Swiss Alinghi team, ironically composed of the core members of the successful 2000 NZ team.

Alinghi defended successfully in 2007 in what is considered to be one of the best matches ever – 3-3 and all down to the last race with the lead changing and Alinghi snatching victory from the jaws of defeat by a couple of seconds.

That brings us to where we are now. Alinghi, the Swiss holder and defender of the Cup, proposed a set of rules that others took offence too. The Americans took them to court, and won. No agreement now. So it’s a Deed of Gift (DOG) match. Best of three races. The Challenger chooses the type of yacht. The Defender chooses the location (subject to the Deed). Gloves off and no holds barred.

In all this time though, it is still in essence a private affair between yacht clubs of differing nations, usually backed by a wealthy patron or two. Yes, sponsors came on board and commercialism spread. However, they just helped swell the coffers to build ever more cutting edge technology. Think Formula One on the water. High technology, huge budgets, no costs spared.

Ultimately, underneath it all, it’s about people and the prestige of winning the world’s oldest trophy. You can take away the sponsorship and the commercialism and someone, somewhere, will still want to go out and win it.

It’s not about the money, it’s personal and, particularly in the context of today’s sporting world, that’s what makes it so fascinating.

Race Results in our next edition, with regular updates on www.Guide2Valencia.com

However, this was an entirely private affair. No commercialism involved. The owners then bequeathed the cup to the New York Yacht Club under a ‘Deed of Gift’, a set of instructions on how the cup should be competed for. “A perpetual Challenge Cup for friendly competition between foreign countries.” Yeah, right. This was revised a few times, but in essence it‘s still the same set of rules today. The ultimate authority on it is the New York courts.

If all parties agree on how the competition for the Cup should be run, then the rest of the Deed can be ignored and you can have whatever type of competition you like. If there is no agreement, turn the clocks back and sail as per the Deed, or the courts, whichever comes first.

The cup was unsuccessfully challenged for (often down to unscrupulous interpretations of the rules by the Americans), until 1983 when the Australians and their famous ‘winged keel’ beat the Americans at their own game. They just cheated, err…sorry, that is to say, they had a better interpretation of the ‘grey’ areas of the rules, and spied more effectively than the Americans.

Out & About Chat

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Eating Out Chat

YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH ITALIAN NO TE EQUIVOCARÁS CON ITALIANO It is said that where ever you are and whatever your personal tastes or restrictions, when out looking for a place to eat, ”you can’t go wrong with an Italian,” and you certainly won’t at Ristorante Cinquecento.

This is a real Italian restaurant owned by Italians.

Here you’ll find a seducing, gently lit and stylishly furnished restaurant with very friendly staff (English spoken) and everything you’d expect on a good Italian restaurant’s menu (also in English).

For starters there’s a range of tempting “antipasti” (starter plates) and salads. Main course choices vary from a selection of delicious, fresh pasta dishes, risottos and gnocci, as well as meats, fish, poultry and fresh seafood. They don’t like their menu to be too static for long and quite frequently introduce new dishes.

Among recent additions to the meat menu is a wild boar dish. Try the “Cinguiale Al Barolo Con Polenta Ai Funghi.” (yes, that’s quite a mouth full for anyone)!

Wine lovers are treated to a choice of excellent Italian wines, as well as Spanish, and beer on tap is San Miguel.

Of course, an Italian wouldn’t be Italian without pizza, and there’s quite a selection of irresistible, freshly made, thin base pizzas to choose from. You can watch them being made, and if you don’t fancy any from the menu, just invent your own from the wide choice of toppings.

The dessert menu....well, as expected with Italian.... just to die for! It includes homemade Tiramisu, Pannacotta, Pineapple Carpaccio, Millojas with hot chocolate sauce and of course....ice cream.

In a nut shell (or a pasta shell), there’s something to please everyone.

Ultimately, you’ll be offered “a little chupito” from a selection. My favourite is their traditional “Limoncello”, a smooth and refreshing lemon liqueur.

However, be warned because, in spite of it’s innocent name, it’s explosive stuff!

Cinquecento is very centrally located in Valencia and very convenient if attending any of the many events that take place there throughout the year, and in the warmer months you can dine al fresco.

There’s usually ample street parking, but if not there’s a huge underground car park beneath the nearby Melia Palace Hotel.

For further details, see web page under Restaurants on Guide2Valencia:

Para empezar, hay una selección de tentadores “antipasti” y ensaladas. Las opciones para los platos principales varían desde una selección de deliciosos platos de pasta fresca, risottos y gnocci hasta platos de carne, pescado, aves y marisco fresco. No les gusta que su menú permanezca estático por mucho tiempo y frecuentemente introducen platos nuevos.

Entre las recientes incorporaciones destaca un plato de jabalí. Prueba el Cinguales Al Barolo Con Polenta Ai Funghi (Si, éste le llena la boca a cualquiera!)

Los amantes del vino tienen una selección de excelentes vinos italianos y españoles y la cerveza de tirador es San Miguel.

Por supuesto un italiano no sería un italiano sin pizza y hay una selección de pizzas hechas a mano y de masa delgada. Puedes observar como las elaboran y si no te apetece ninguna del menú, invéntatela con el gran surtido de ingredientes.

Los postres...Bueno, como se espera de un italiano... para morirse de gusto! El menú incluye Tiramisú casero, Pannacotta, Carpacio de Piña, Milhojas con chocolate caliente y por supuesto...helado.

Aquí hay siempre algo para todos los gustos.

Al final, te ofrecerán un pequeño chupito a elegir de una selección de licores. Mi favorito es su tradicional “Limoncello”, un licor de limón suave y refrescante.Sin embargo, estás avisado porque a pesar de su nombre inocente es una cosa explosiva!

Cinquecento está situado céntricamente en Valencia y su ubicación es muy conveniente si vais a asistir a alguno de los eventos que tienen lugar en la ciudad a lo largo del año y en los meses cálidos se puede comer fuera en la terraza.

Normalmente hay aparcamiento disponible en la calle, pero si no es así cerca de allí, debajo del hotel Melia Palace, hay un enorme parking subterráneo.

Para obtener detalles adicionales mira la sección de la página de web

http://www.ristorante500.com/

http://www.guide2valencia.com/

Se dice que sean cuales sean tus preferencias o restricciones, cuando se trata de buscar un sitio para comer, “no te equivocarás con un italiano” y ciertamente no la harás con el restaurante Cinquecento. Éste es un auténtico restaurante italiano y los dueños son Italianos. Aquí podrás encontrar un restaurante seductor iluminado con una luz suave y elegantemente amueblado, con camareros amigables (hablan Inglés) y todo aquello que podrías esperar en el menú de un buen restaurante italiano (el menú también esta en inglés)

Eating Out Chat

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Bocateria Ñam

Hearty, contemporary eating in Neverland

Comer sano y contemporáneo en El País de Nunca Jamás

By/Por Cristina Garay

T

oday I want to tell you about Valencias worst keep secret: Bocateria Ñam, a classic in between the classics, an essential reference, I will say, to the contemporary Valencia City, always emerging and re-inventing itself again and again like a Mediterranean Phoenix.

Ñ

am has been around for a while, exactly twenty years, as now they are celebrating their 20th Birthday with the best offer ever for healthy and good value, home-made cooking.

R

egarding the Ambiance: Ñam is a big and airy restaurant and the decoration is colorful and modern with plenty of room for couples, small parties or even big parties.

F

ood wise, they have a Menu del día for 12 euros ,which include three courses plus one drink and is on offering during lunch times. Also you have the alternative to order the dish of the day for 5.95 euros, or the salad of the day for 4.95 euros.

I

n Ñam, they also do tapas, 16 different salads, 12 winter / summer soups, and sixty different varieties of bocadilos, pirulies, sandwich, pittas and also dinners dishes.

A Ñ T F

ll the desserts are home-made and they have more than forty to choose from

am is closed on Sundays and during the week days is open from 13.00-16.00 and 20.00 -24.00. hey have specials menus for groups starting from 15 euros (minimum: 4 people)

inding Ñam: To some people, like me, this might become quite difficult, because Ñam is situated in a maze of side streets behind Palacio Marques de Dos aguas. But, I have had discovered a little trick to get to Ñam without getting lost. Just take C/ Marques de Dos Aguas from C/ de La Paz and when you pass the hotel, take the street on

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your right which is between Palacio Marques de Dos Aguas and the church. The street name is C/ San Andres and in number 4, you will find Ñam:

W

elcome to your own Neverland. Don’t drink too many or next time you will need to ask the fairies for directions home!!

Ñam C/ San Andres 4 Valencia (Behind Palacio Marqués de Dos Aguas) Reservations/Reservas

96 351 48 37

H

oy quiero hablaros acerca del secreto peor guardado de Valencia: La Bocateria Ñam, un clásico entre los clásicos, una referencia esencial, diría yo, a la Valencia contemporánea, siempre

Eating Out Chat

surgiendo y reinventándose así misma, una y otra vez, como un ave Féníx mediterráneo.

Ñ

am lleva ya algún tiempo funcionando, exáctamente 20 años. Este año celebran su 20 cumpleaños con la mejor oferta de comida equilibrada y casera al mejor precio.

Ñ

am es un restaurante amplio y la decoración es moderna y llena de color. En Ñam hay sitio suficiente para todos, parejas, grupos grandes o pequeños.

L

a oferta culinaria de Ñam es muy amplia, tienen un menú del día por 12 euros que incluye dos platos, postre y bebida. También se puede optar, como alternativa al plato del día por 5. 95 euros o la ensalada del día por 4.95 euros .

E

n Ñam también podemos decantarnos por las tapas, 16 variedades diferentes de ensaladas, 12 sopas de Invierno/verano, sesenta variedades diferentes de bocadillos, pirulies, sandwiches, pitas o también comidas al plato.

T Ñ

odos los postres son caseros y hay más de 40 para elegir.

am cierra los Domingos y los demás dias de la semana está abierto de 13.00-16.00 y de 20.00- 24.00.Tienen menús especiales para grupos desde 15 euros (mínimo 4 personas).

Eating Out Chat

P

ara Llegar a Ñam: Para algunos de nosotros esto puede resultar un poco complicado, porque Ñam está ubicado en un laberinto de callejuelas detrás del Palacio del Marqués de Dos Aguas. Yo personalmente, he descubierto un pequeño truco para no perderse: Si vienes desde la C/ de La Paz, cuando pases el hotel, coge la calle de tu derecha, la que está situada entre el Palacio del Marqués de Dos Aguas y la Iglesia. La calle se llama C/ de San Andrés y en el nº 4 encontrarás Ñam: Bienvenido a tu propio Pais de Nunca Jamás!!. No bebáis demasiado o la próxima vez les tendréis que preguntar a las hadas para llegar!!!

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Try Chiropractic! ¡Prueba la Quiropraxis!

TRY CHIROPRACTIC A natural way of getting back a normal life.

Today, some 20% of the general population suffer from headaches and migraine. The majority of these headaches find their origin in the neck vertebras.

The Chiropractor, instead of trying to treat the pain, will look for the cause of the problem. Headaches, as migraines, are frequently due to misaligned vertebras in the neck, also called VERTEBRAL SUBLUXATIONS COMPLEX. Because the vertebrae is misaligned, the muscle will have to pull more on one side to compensate, and this. in time will create a headache. By realigning the spine, muscle tension will disappear, and symptoms will be aleviated.

We all know people with chronic migraine or chronic headache problems. Do them a favor, tell them about chiropractic and invite them to go and see a chiropractor now. Here are a couple of testimonials with what people have had to say about it: «…today I have a life again, I used to suffer terrible migraine headaches, I had to stay in a closed room for hours because light and noise were unbearable. I’ve been visiting the chiropractic centre and in the last 3 months have not had one headache!... » R.M « …I haven’t had any headache tablets in the last month, thanks to chiropractic… » So, once again, if you’re tired of suffering unnecessarily, take action now and give chiropractic a try!

The Chiropractic Center in Rocafort offers free spinal checks to see if chiropractic could be a solution to your health problems and to your headaches.

Call now on 96 131 05 22 and ask for a complimentary examination of your spine, by Richard Millo

Have you ever wondered?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

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¿CANSADO DE SUFRIR DOLORES DE CABEZA INNECESARIOS? PRUEBA LA QUIROPRAXIS, UNA TERAPIA NATURAL QUE TE HARA VOLVER A TU VIDA NORMAL

Hoy en dia un 20% de la población en general sufre de dolores de cabeza y migrañas. La mayoria de estos dolores de cabeza tienen su origen en las vertebras del cuello. El Quiropráctico, en lugar de tratar sólo el dolor, buscará dónde está la causa del problema.

Los dolores de cabeza, asi como las migrañas, se producen frecuentemente debido a un mal alineado de las vertebras del cuello, esto se conoce también como sub-luxación del complejo vertebral.

Porque las vertebras están mal alineadas, los músculos debe estirarse más hacia un lado para compensarlo y esto con el tiempo, causará un dolor de cabeza. Relineando la columna vertebral, la tensión muscular desaparecerá y los sintomas se verán aliviados.

Todos conocemos a gente que sufre migrañas crónicas. Hazles un favor, háblales acerca de la Quiropraxis y anímalos a visitar a un Quiropractico ahora. Aqui hay un par de testimonios acerca de lo que la gente dice: «…Hoy tengo una vida otra vez, solia sufrir de terribles migrañas y tenia que recluirme en una habitación cerrada porque la luz y el ruido me eran insoportables. He visitado el centro quiropráctico y en los últimos tres meses no he vuelto a tener un dolor de cabeza!... » R.M « …Gracia a la quiropráctica, no he tomado pastillas para el dolor de cabeza en el último mes … » Así, que una vez más, si estás cansado de sufrir innecesariamente actúa ahora y prueba la quiropráxis!

El Centro Quiropráctico de Rocafort realiza reconocimientos vertebrales gratis para saber si la quiropráxis puede ser una solución a tus problemas de salud y dolores de cabeza.

Llama ahora al 96 131 05 22 y pide un exámen de tu columna vertebral gratis y sin compromiso, con Richard Milo.

Have you ever wondered?

Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Health & Fitness Chat

CALL NOW! 96 131 0522 WE SPEAK ENGLISH!

COMPUTERISED SPINAL CHECK IN THE CENTRO QUIROPRﾃ，TICO DE ROCAFORT

FREE spinal check Plaza San Sebastian, 8 Bajo 46111 ROCAFORT available

Have you ever experienced?

- Stress - Tiredness, lack of energy - Pinched nerves - Migraines, headaches - Stiffness in the neck - Whiplash, neck trauma - Vertigos, dizziness - Tension, shoulder pains - Thoracic or lumbar pain - Chest pain, Asthma - Bad posture - Stomach acidity - Sciatica, pain down the leg - Joint pain, knee pain - Pins and needles, numbness arms or hands - Pins and needles or numbness down the leg If you have experienced one or more of these symptoms, chiropractic could be the solution.

Call now for a free check, it could be the start of a new life!

NEED CASH? TOP PRICES

PAID FOR YOUR BROKEN, UNWANTED OR SCRAP GOLD WHY NOT HAVE A PARTY, INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND EARN COMMISSION FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE PHONE (+34) 653-106-512 Adverts

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NEWS

LAS PALOMAS - WHEN THE CRUNCH FINALLY CAME .......

On Wednesday 3rd of February, a specialist unit of the Guardia Civil descended on the Town Hall of Montroy, Valencia over possible corruption cases in the construction sector and took seven people into custody, including former Mayor Javier Carrion.

The case centers on the construction of 83 residential properties built on rustic land in the rural district of Els Mallars, Montroy, better known to the British as Las Palomas, that have all been declared illegal.

After spending two days inside the town hall, investigative officers left with more boxes of documents.

It was revealed that the entire investigation into what happened in Montroy, at the residential site, was due to an intermediary apparently not being paid the appropriate commission. Insiders have revealed that a certain building promoter made an official complaint against the buyers of these homes, almost all of whom were foreigners, after they had paid a deposit, but refused to meet the payment in full, owing to the mains electricity and water services having still not been connected to their homes.

Carrión, the former mayor and councilor of the PP in Montroy, was released after spending two days in the cells of the Guardia Civil, when his bail of €8.500 was payed.

Guillermo A. P, one of the partners of Morarim SL, the construction firm, was provisionally jailed, unable to produce the €50,000 bail demanded of him. He is considered the most responsible and, while being questioned, hints were made about tax fraud by way of all income from the sales of the villas not having been declared to the tax authorities and even the crime of conspiracy, a plot having been hatched to commit a crime. He was also questioned about his relationships with the Department of Urban and the Montroy Mayor.

His other partner, Klaus. D.S. apparently died on Dec. 17, 2009, so the investigation on him was closed.

The five other detainees, three builders, an industrial engineer and a surveyor were also released, but with charges and are under judicial supervision.

The seven people arrested testified as defendants in the proceedings for crimes including violation of planning permission laws, bribery, prevarication, intrusion, fraud and false documents.

The High Court of Justice de la Comunitat Valenciana said the former Mayor is accused of crimes of graft and bribery as an author, and the rest of the crimes, as necessary cooperator.

Tired after three days, on leaving the Picassent court, Carrion said: “I’m innocent. I don’t know why I’m here, but it will take time to be resolved, because the matter is very complicated.”

For the other three developers brought to justice,

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the judge agreed to bail. One of the other builders maintained that ‘the work was controlled by the local police “and that” he had assumed it was all legal because of the town hall’s involvement.

The surveyor, M. A. R., was provisionally released with a €3,000 bond to be entered within seven days.

In his statement, the architect denied having signed the draft of the houses and said it had been signed and passed by the council.

The same decision was made for the industrial engineer, D. M., who first certified the period of the work, presumably as a guarantee of the promoters and then to guarantee the five years of construction.

For all the accused, the judge imposed a ban on leaving the country, confiscation of their passports and the obligation to report in court every 15 days.

Meanwhile, the complaint by the British residents, who bought the villas in Els Mallars, that had led to a parallel investigation of the Guardia Civil, the Office of Environment and the Picassent court has resulted in Court Proceedings of fraud being brought against the German lawyer Kai O.W., who was responsible for producing the purchase contracts, and the partner of British overseas property agent Zodiac Villas, Chris M. During a break in the investigation, the current mayor of Montroy Antonio Polo made the quite incredible and shocking statement that the construction of residential properties on rustic land and without licenses has been a continuing practice in the municipality of Montroy over the past 30 years, and to which he added that it has been fairly common practice in at least 25 other municipalities around Valencia.

People close to the investigation were quick to stress that no irregularities took place in terms of finance, only that the building permits were never sought or granted, and as a result amendments to the land situation are now being sought by the Town Council to officially declare the homes as legal.

The PAIs, a new scheme to enable property to made legal rather than face a demolition order. that are now in the planning stages locally, are considered fair to the community as a whole. The owners will have to pay for the land to be provided with complete urban infrastructure. This, however, will lead to an increase in the value of their property and a safeguarding of their rights in the future by virtue of their new legal, residential status.

In conclusion, it must be said people must become aware of the risks and potential consequences of buying on rustic land and of illegal buildings, and realise that they DO need to use a lawyer and ask all the necessary questions when they buy. Additionally, any reputable estate agent would always recommend that their client employ an independent and reputable lawyer.

NEWS

EVENTS

You get a FREE EVENTS listing with BRITCHAT, space permitting, but in Guide2Valencia we will give you unlimited text and a photo. For more information email: enquiry@Guide2Valencia.com.

OLOCAU RASTRO

Refreshments & Food Available. Next dates: 31st January & 28th February Social Club, Urb. La Lloma. 10am till 2pm. Set up from 9am for sellers. Price: Tables €5. Raffle €1. Bookings & More Info: Carolyn 962555819 or 664809608.

Proceeds usually given to a worthwhile charity.

There are stalls selling handmade cards, thai gifts ,christmas gifts and a cafe with full breakfasts and ... a selection of chrismas cakes and mince pies etc to ordering for christmas.

Directions: Follow signs to OLOCAU from LLIRIA, Turn right towards BETERA at the main CV333 Roundabout, (CV333 Near Valencia).

URB. LA LLOMA is on the next roundabout, RASTRO will be signposted from there.

New Activity called WAY TAN YONG

No matter what your age or physical condition, this new activity will improve your health, energy and wellbeing.

It’s called WAY TAN YONG and in essence it is working with energy through gentle easy movements. This new group intends to start in the Chiva/Godelleta area this Autumn, so if you are interested please contact Mila on 627-884-298.

Montroy Table Top Sale

My husband and I along with the people of the town hall in Montroy organize a car boot sale every month.

It is always held at Calle La Pau, Montroy Contact Cindy at 960 802 513 or 695 100 540 2010 Dates: Jan 3, Feb 7, Mar 14, April 4, May 2 June 6, July 4, Aug 1, Sep 5, Oct 3, Nov 7, Dec 5 Always from 10 - 2. Contact person: Cindy 960 802 513 or 695 100 540

Balcon de Montroy Rastro

Sundays 17th January & 14th February: 10-2 setting up from 9am Stalls will include Daphnes’ cakes Helens’ cards, pet accessories, avon christmas gifts etc.

Stalls will include handmade cards, homemade cakes, bric a brac, thai gifts, pet supplies, avon and much more. Info: 96-255-5819 (Carolyn)

Linguistic Exchange

Would you like to improve your Spanish by practicing with a local person in an informal setting? Would you like to help them to improve their English? If your answer is yes, welcome to Central Point Language Exchange. We meet every Wednesday 19 to 20.30 hs in Torrent (Bar La Red Rose – CC. Las Americas). Cost 10€ a month or 3€ a session - Interested? Please contact Marcela Mattenet mm@centralpoint.es.

IWC- International Womens Club

Valencia Monthly Coffee meetings every 1st Thursday of the month, from 10 till 12 hs. Anybody Welcome!!!

- Come and join us at the Top restaurant – 4th Floor - HIPERCOR - C.Comercial Ademuz, Av. Pio XII, 51 ,Valencia, End off Ademuz - Lliria motorway. Near Nuevo Centro and La Fe Hospital -Near Tube station Campanar FREE Underground car park.

If you are interested in joining please, log on our site www.iwc-valencia.ning.com or mail mm@iwc-valencia.com.

Sunday Pub Quiz with Neil and Craig

Questions in English - with a local flavour Brainboxes or boobies of all nationalities welcome. 7 pm Sundays - At Sally O’Brien Pub. Avenida Aragon, Valencia (beside the petrol station)

Ladies Who Do Coffee In

England Ladies do lunch, here we do coffee. group of ladies are meeting for coffee and chat, helpful discussions on trade’s people and shopping.

Not only do we meet new people, but also it is a chance to escape from the inevitable dusting and cleaning. At first we will be meeting every Wednesday at 11.00 a.m. in the Bar Torroners in Turis. Please accept this invitation; we look forward to seeing you. Any queries phone Berice on 96 299 8306. We are a talented group and it may be possible to start some of the recreational hobbies we had in England.

A

RASTRO Y MERCADO Sunday, 21st February & Sunday, 21st March 10.30-13.30 horas MAS PAVIA RESTAURANTE MASIA PAVIA URB, Nr Monserrat Inside space available if bad weather Call Amanda 625 819 734 or amandainvalencia@yahoo.com to book your stand. Tables are not supplied FREE PITCHES Future car boots 3rd Sunday of the month

EVENTS

BRITCHAT . 15

Cheers Christmas Raffle for Per Ells Cesta Navideña para Per Ells Cheers bar in Montserrat, the friendly, british owned “home from home caf”, held a Christmas Hamper raffle on Christmas Eve and donated the proceeds of €100.00 in total to the organisation called Per Els, which is a day school for mentally handicapped children in Turis.

Britchat were invited to hand over the cheque in Cheers bar to their representatives on Saturday 16th January.

The money will help pay for more enjoyable games, trips and activities to add a little extra to the lives of the children.

Also present were John and Jenny Lord of Urb. Altury, Turis, whose daughter Katie has attended the Per Ells day school for the last 6 years, and who incidentally will celebrate her 30th birthday this year!

Cheers bar received the following letter of gratitude from Per Ells: “On behalf of Per Ells, I would like to thank you for your generous contribution to the centre.

The funds raised in the raffle and the donation from Cheers are greatly appreciated.

Contributions such as these are important to the functioning of the centre. While we receive money for the daily support of the centre, fund raising is essential to add an extra element to the daily lives of the special people who attend here.

Again, thank you for your support and interest in Per Ells”.

actividades para los niños.

En el acto también estuvieron presentes John y Jenny Lord de la urbanizacion Altury en Turis, cuya hija Katie ha asistido a la escuela de Per Ells durante los pasados 6 años y que coincidentemente celebrara su 30 cumpleaños este año!

El bar Cheers recibio la siguiente carta de agradecimiento de Per Ells: “De parte de Per Ells, me gustaria agradecer vuestra generosa contribución al centro.

Apreciamos mucho los fondos adquiridos en la rifa y la donación de Cheers.

Estas contribuciones son importantes para el funcionamiento del centro. Aunque recibimos fondos para el apoyo diario del centro, la recaudación de fondos especiales es esencial para agregar un elemento extra en las vidas de las personas especiales que acuden aqui.

De nuevo, gracias por vuestro apoyo e interés en Per Ells”.

El bar Cheers en Montserrat, el amigable y hogareño café ingles, celebro el sorteo de una cesta navideña en nochebuena y dono la recaudación de 100.00 en total a la organización Per Ells, un centro de día para los niños con problemas psíquicos en Turís.

Britchat fue invitado para entregar el cheque en el bar Cheers a los representantes del centro el sábado 16 de febrero. El dinero ayudara a pagar juegos, viajes y

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.

They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus."

It comes in pink and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Please Support our advertisers & Mention ...................

Por favor nunca te olvides de mencionar a .............................. cuando respondas a algún anuncio.

BRITCHAT . 16

UK PENSION CHAT

Living Outside The UK? More Information on UK Pension Funds Many members of UK Pension Schemes are suffering from frozen pension benefits.

ACT NOW TO RELEASE YOUR 25% TAX FREE LUMP SUM! ONLY 2 MONTHS UNTIL RULES CHANGE! Did you know that if you are 50+ (hurry as this changes to 55 in April 2010) you could take your 25% tax free lump sum NOW with no need to buy an Annuity.

QROPS or Qualifying Recognised Overseas Pension schemes can give several benefits to the individual expat.

It must be emphasised that each case is examined individually and you will be advised what is best for YOU! Fully approved by Her Majesty’s Revenue & Customs.

Case Study from Portugal John works and lives in Portugal as a Green keeper in Villamoura and speaking to many expats he kept coming across the acronym “QROPS”.

For some time he had been thinking of taking advice on his “small” pension he had back in the UK. He took

UK PENSION CHAT

the advice of a QROPS advisor and got the wheels in motion.

The first thing John had to do was to complete a letter of authority, this enabled the advisor to act on John’s behalf and request a transfer value from his UK frozen pension.

5 days later John was amazed to find his “small” pension was sitting in the UK with a transfer value of £150,000. He sat down with the advisor and discussed the benefits and also the pitfalls of QROPS. John decided to transfer his UK pension to a QROPS and has used part of his 25% tax free lump sum to install a pool at his home in Portugal. He doesn’t feel the need to take an income yet and has asked the QROPS advisor to act on his behalf as his Investment Manager.

With regular reviews on his tax free investments, John is very pleased he made the decision to seek advice.

Conclusion If you are living abroad and whatever age, you CAN take advantage of QROPS. See the advert below and take action NOW!

BRITCHAT . 17

BRITCHAT . 18

ADVERTS

A Walk in Ruzafa’s Market

Un Paseo por El Mercado de Ruzafa

By Cristina Garay

El barrio de Ruzafa es uno de los más antiguos de Valencia. Hasta 1877 Ruzafa era un pueblo de campesinos,hoy es una zona céntrica y moderna llena de tiendas, pubs y restaurantes.

Las calles más populares de Ruzafa son la calle Sueca, famosa por sus iluminaciones falleras y también las calles de Cádiz y Literato Azorin, que son donde se situan la mayor parte de los bares y restaurante.

El corazón de esta zona tan popular, es sin lugar a dudas

Ruzafa is one of the oldest neighborhoods in Valencia city, but until 1877 it was a mere farmers village. Today it is a modern and central part of the city, full or shops, pubs and restaurants.

The most popular streets are C/Sueca, famous for its spectacular Fallas illuminations and C/Cádiz and C/ Literato Azorin, where most of the cafés and restaurants are.

The heart of this popular area is undoubtedly its market, located in Plaza Baron de Cortes. In this bustling marketplace people from every walk of life come together daily to do their shopping, buying fresh products that come from the “Huerta” market garden, just outside the city.

Every Monday morning, in the square outside the market there is an open air “flea market” where you can find old and new clothing, shoes, handbags, plants, tablecloths and a bit of costume jewelry. If you’re in the area, don´t forget to visit our friend Dinah in Biodinamics, stalls 50-51 of the indoor market. Dina sells every kind of health product, but you’ll also be able to stock up on such things as your PG Tips tea bags and Indian spices for your curries.

Nearby is the San Valero church, which dates from the seventeen century and is known locally as Ruzafa´s cathedral.

su mercado, ubicado en la Plaza del Barón de Cortes. En este vibrante mercado se dan cita gente de toda condición para comprar productos frescos que crecen de las huertas cercanas a la ciudad de Valencia.

Todos los lunes hay un mercado al aire libre en la plaza donde se puede encontrar todo tipo de productos como

ropa nueva y usada, calzado, bolsos, plantas y bisuteria.Si te encuentras en la zona, no te olvides de visitar a nuestra amiga Dinah en Biodinamics, palcos 50-51 en el mercado cubierto. Allí encontrarás todo tipo de productos dietéticos y saludables y además podrás abastecerte de bolsas de té PG y especias hindúes para tus currys.

Muy cerca se encuentra la iglesia de San Valero, que data del siglo XVII y es conocida popularmente como la “Catedral de Ruzafa.”

MORE NEWS CHAT

BRITCHAT . 19

MR OVENKLEEN HOW TO TURN AN OLD OVEN INTO A NEW ONE?

COMO TRANSFORMAR UN VIEJO HORNO EN UNO NUEVO

By The Editor

BRITCHAT . 20

PROPERTY MAINTAINANCE CHAT

I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle.’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he then?’

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He’s bi-satchel.

I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre.

She said, ‘Are you having me on?’

I said, ‘Well, I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.’

I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’ He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’

I phoned the local builders today, I said to them ‘Can I have a skip outside my house?’ He said, ‘I’m not stopping you!’

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, its P something T something R.

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says ‘Audi!’

I was reading this book today, The History of Glue.. I couldn’t put it down.

I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, ‘Nearest the bull goes first’ He went ‘Baah’ and I went ‘Moo’ He said ‘You’re closest’

I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on and on.

The recruitment consultant asked me ‘What do you think of voluntary work? I said ‘I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.’

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.

He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me...’

PROPERTY MAINTAINANCE CHAT

I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I’d been promoted.

I was so shocked I swerved the car.

He phoned me again to say I’d been promoted even higher and I swerved again.

He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree.

The police came and asked me what had happened. I said ‘I careered off the road’ BRITCHAT . 21

Great & Timeless Rock Music

By Cristina Garay

DAZE OF DAWN - A fresh and unique approach to great and timeless hard rock Daze of Dawn, the international rock band based in Valencia is made up by Klyde Robillard, vocalist and lead guitarist (Canada), Carlos Sanchez, bass guitarist (Spain) and drummer Tim Lewis (England). They play superb, original rock music - a mix of funky grooves of rock, grunge, metal, folk-rock and blues. Watch out for this band, because we’re going to see them playing soon at important venues here in Spain and the UK. Britchat went to their recent gig at the Attic club in L’Eliana and interviewed them.

much money. As I said, not much support from the local authorities. It seems all the money goes to the big commercial gigs, and all the big name bands hardly ever play in Valencia. They play in places like Barcelona, Madrid, Bilbao, but we’re nurturing hopes that soon this situation will change.

Seeing you play here at The Attic Club, I must admit your music sounds fantastic. Have you any more gigs planned for the near future?

We’ll be performing in the Exposure Music Awards festival in Madrid on February 25th, after we return from Switzerland, but we’re planning to play in Benidorm during summer. Also, it’s probable that you’ll see us soon at Black Note in Valencia, but it’s not official yet.

You describe yourselves as a retro rock band.

What exactly do you mean by retro?

We classify our group as a classic rock band, a true combination of 70´s and 90´s sounds. We play hard rock not so refined, and that fact puts a bit of an edge on the music we play. The music in the 70´s before pop was more authentic. We go back to the origins of real rock music.

What are your musical influences?

Revival bands such as Wolfmother are an important reference and classic bands such as Cream, Jimmy Hendrix, Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd and Pearl Jam are also a big influence in our music.

Yeti Nation - your last album was a big success.

Was it really recorded in only 7 days?

Yeti Nation’s theme is a metaphorical complaint about global warming, was a real musical success, probably our best work so far. Yes it is true, in fact the last couple of albums we produced, we tried recording them as live as possible. Perhaps you lose a bit on sound quality, but definitely you gain in authenticity and you get that bit of extra natural groove.

Why are you based in Valencia? Do you think Valencia is an interesting city music wise?

I met an Spanish girl from Valencia while I was living in Japan, says Klyde and decided to move over here.

Tim had been in Thailand and we both meet Carlos by chance when we were recording a track, because he owns a recording studio here. He then joined the band as bass guitarist. So we’re now a “power trio.”

Regarding the music scene in Valencia, well unfortunately at the moment it’s not too interesting. There’s not much interest and official involvement from the Valencian government. There are a lot of bands around, but not BRITCHAT . 22

DAZE OF DAWN - Un enfoque único y fresco del rock duro magnífico e intemporal Daze of Dawn, el grupo internacional de rock afincado en Valencia está formado por Klyde Robillard, Vocalista y guitarra (Canadá), Carlos Sanchez, bajo (España) y Tim Lewis (Inglaterra) en la batería. Ellos tocan un rock excelente y original que es una mezcla de ritmos funky, grunge, metal, folk-rock y blues. Quedaros con el nombre de este grupo, porque pronto los volveremos a ver tocando en importantes salas, aquí en España y también en el Reino Unido Britchat fue a verlos actuar en su reciente concierto en la discoteca Attic en L´Eliana y les hizo esta entrevista Os describís como un grupo de rock duro “ retro”. ¿Que queréis decir exáctamente con eso de “retro”?

Nos gusta clasificar a nuestro grupo como una banda de rock clásica, una verdadera combinación del sonido de

HARD ROCK CHAT

Rock Magnifico y Intemporal Por Cristina Garay

los 70 y 90. Tocamos un rock no demasiado refinado y ese hecho le da un toque personal a la música que hacemos.

La música en los 70, antes del Pop, era mas auténtica.

Nosotros volvemos a los orígenes del rock más real. ¿Cuáles son vuestras influencias musicales?

Grupos Revival como Wolfmother son una referencia importante y bandas y cantantes como Cream, Jimmy Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd y Pearl Jam tienen también una gran influencia en nuestra música.

Yeti Nation, vuestro último álbum fue un gran éxito. ¿Realmente lo grabásteis en sólo siete días?

La canción Yeti Nation’s es una protesta metafórica sobre el calentamiento global y probablemente nuestro mejor trabajo hasta ahora. Si, es cierto, de hecho los dos últimos discos que hemos realizado hemos tratado de grabarlos tan en directo como hemos podido.

Quizás se pierda un poco en la calidad del sonido, pero definitivamente se gana en autenticidad y se consigue ese extra de sentimiento y ritmo natural. ¿Por qué vivís en Valencia,creéis que Valencia es una ciudad musicalmente interesante?

Conocí a una chica Española que era de Valencia cuando vivía en Japón, dice Klyde, y decidí trasladarme aquí. Tim había estado viviendo en Tailandia y ambos conocimos a Carlos de casualidad cuando grababamos uno de los temas, ya que el posee un estudio de grabación aquí. Carlos se unió a nosotros como bajista, así que ahora formamos un trio muy “potente” A propósito del panorama musical en Valencia, bueno... desafortunadamente, de momento no es muy interesante.

El gobierno valenciano no tiene demasiado interés ni se involucra oficialmente en la música local. Hay muchos grupos, pero no demasiado dinero. Como hemos dicho, las autoridades locales no nos apoyan mucho. Parece que todo el dinero se invierte en los grandes conciertos comerciales y los grupos importantes ni siquiera actúan en Valencia. Actúan en sitios como Barcelona, Madrid y Bilbao, pero tenemos esperanzas de que esta situación cambie.

Después de veros tocar aquí en el Club Attic, debo admitir que vuestra música suena fantástica. ¿Tenéis más actuaciones planeadas para el futuro cercano?

Vamos a actuar en el Exposure Music Awards festival en Madrid el 25 de febrero, cuando regresemos de Suiza, pero planeamos tocar en Benidorm durante el verano.

También es probable que nos veáis pronto en Black Note en Valencia, pero esto no es oficial todavía.

HARD ROCK CHAT

BRITCHAT . 23

* Insuring your home, your health, your cars and your businesses * Fluent in Englsih & Spanish * 20 years experience * Fully Legal * Home visits for on-site advice * All claims handled efficiently * Friendly, experienced service * Providing the best cover for the best price

TEL: 96 158 1524 seguros.gayol@allianzmed.es EjĂŠrcito EspaĂąol, 13, bajos 46900 Torrent (Valencia)

BRITCHAT . 24

PROPERTY & LEGAL CHAT

P.E.P.A. Sento was born approx February 2009 and is a medium sized pointer type. He’s a well-balanced, naturally obedient dog who has proved to be very trainable. Sento is very friendly and mixes well with his foster carers own dogs and is good with their cats.

For more information please telephone P.E.P.A

www.pepaspain.com PROTECTORA JAIME D’ORTOLA - WE ARE SPANISH AND WE DO CARE ABOUT DOGS. DOGS DON’T HAVE ANY NATIONALITY, THEY ARE JUST DOGS AND THEY SUFFER!!

Campaigning for pet sterilization. Please give us a hand and contact us on 96 298 60 47

www.naturalezayanimales.com

Did You Know Leather Dresses?

My Ref. number is: 59232.

I’m a baby boy and I would love you to bits, if you adopted me and gave me a nice name, I think I look like a Bruce, but you can decide.

SPAMA: Gail: 962 896 118 Lesley: 962 813 266

This

About

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man’s heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally???

Ever why?

wonder

It’s because she smells like a new car!

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire (U.K.) These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

PET CHAT & BRITFUN

BRITCHAT . 25

Results for the Stableford competition held at El Bosque Golf Club in Chiva on Monday 18th January 2010.

We started the first competition in 2010 with the slate wiped clean for the annual competitions and the course in near perfect condition, but with over 50 trees lying horizontal after the freak winds that we experienced the previous week.

The first winner in 2010 was Mike Fitzgerald (H/Cap 16) who won on countback with 35 points. Mick Newman (H/Cap 26) was Runner-Up while Tigger won Nearest The Pin on the Par 3. Mike Fitzgerald won the Nearest The Pin (after 3 shots) on the Par 5 and the team competition was won by Andy Mitchell, Mick Newman, Peter Lane and Skip.

Nobody guessed the lost balls, so the 20 euros will create a “Rollover” next month!

Finally, next month’s competition is on Monday 1st March and you can reserve your place by calling Skip on 962133126 or 628148939. Hope to see you then....

Until next month, Tigger

BRITCHAT . 26

Resultados de la competición Stableford celebrada en El Bosque Club de Golf En Chiva el lunes 18 de enero de 2010 Comenzamos la primera competición de 2010 haciendo borrón y cuenta nueva y por supuesto en unas condiciones casi perfectas para las competiciones anuales, pero con más de 50 árboles yaciendo horizontalmente después de los fuertes vientos que sufrimos la semana anterior.

El primer ganador de 2010 fue Mike Fitzgerald (hándicap 16) que ganó en el

recuento con 35 puntos.Mick Newman (hándicap 26) quedó finalista mientras que Tigger ganó el Nearest The Pin (después de tres lanzamientos) en el par 5. La competición de equipos la ganó Andy Mitchell, Mick Newman, Peter Lane y Skip.

Nadie acertó correctamente las bolas perdidas, así que los 20 euros quedan de bote para el mes que viene.

Finalmente, deciros que la competición del mes que viene se celebrará el 1 de marzo y que podéis reservar vuestras plazas llamando a Skip al 962133126 ó 628148939. Espero veros aquí...

Hasta el mes que viene.

Tigger

SPORT CHAT

Don Quixote Competition Winning entries December & January Don Quixote is hiding somewhere in this magazine. To help you, here is an example of how he will look.

If you find him, send your answer by email to britchat@ me.com.

Open until the last day of each month.

The first entry drawn out of the bag on the 1st of the next month will win a prize.

Don Quijote está escondido en algún lugar de esta revista.

Para ayudarle, aquí es un ejemplo de cómo él mirará.

Si lo encuentras, envía tu respuesta por correo electrónico a britchat@me.com. El plazo está abierto hasta el último día de cada mes. La primera entrada sacada por una “mano inocente” de la bolsa el primer día del mes siguiente a ganará un premio.

Is this what the future holds?

Blimey! !!

A group of 40 year old male friends met and discussed where they should go for dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant, because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once

again they discuss where they should have dinner. Once again, it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later, at 60 years of age,

the group meets again.

Once again they discuss where they should eat. Finally it is agreed that they should book the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke-free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again.

Once again they discuss and discuss where they should go. It is finally agreed that they should dine at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and

once again they discuss and discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should go to the Gausthof zum Lowen - and that it is a great idea because they have never been there before.

Have you ever wondered?

Why ....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

BRIT FUN

BRITCHAT . 27

BRITCHAT . 28

BUSINESS CHAT

A wet Sepang circuit saw Valentino Rossi post the fastest time of the 3 day test. His time of 2 minutes 00925 seconds was slightly quicker than second placed Ducati mounted Casey Stoner, who was only 0.395 slower, while Jorge Lorenzo, Rossi’s Yamaha team mate, came third.

Rossi seems to have lost none of the fire, despite rumour of a switch to the World Rally Championship, when his contract with Yamaha expires. Rossi’s chance may hinge on the return by Motogp to 1000 cc engines, his favorite configuration.

The season starts in the Qatari desert on April 11th.

PROVISIONAL MOTOGP CALENDAR CALENDARIO PROVISIONAL MOTOGP 2010

El húmedo circuito de Sepang vio a Valentino Rossi clasificarse con el tiempo más rápido en esta prueba que duró 3 días. Su tiempo de 2 minutos 00925 y fue ligeramente más veloz que el segundo clasificado, Casey Stoner, montado en su Ducati, quien sólo fue 0.395 más lento.Jorge Lorenzo, compañero de Rossi en el equipo Yamaha se clasificó el tercero.

Parece que Rossi no ha perdido nada de su fuego, a pesar de los rumores de su cambio al Campeonato World Rally cuando expire su contrato con Yamaha.

La oportunidad de Rossi puede depender en el regreso a Motogp de los motores de 1000c, su configuración favorita.

La temporada empieza el 11 de abril en el desierto Qatari.

SPORT CHAT & BRITFUN

2. APRIL/ABRIL - JAPAN.MOTEGI. 25 APRIL/ABRIL - QATAR.LOSAIL. 16 MAY/MAYO - FRANCE.LE MANS. 30 MAY/MAYO - ITALY. MUGELLO. 6 JUNE/JUNIO - ENGLAND. SILVERSTONE. 26 JUNE/JUNIO - HOLLAND. ASSEN. 4 JULY/JULIO - CATALUNYA. CATALUNYA. 18 JULY/JULIO - GERMANY. SACHENRING. 25 JULY/JULIO - USA. LAGUNA SECA. 15.AUGUST/AGUSTO - CZECH REPUBLIC.BRNO. 29. AUGUST/AGUSTO - INDIANAPOLIS. INDIANAPOLIS. 12 SEPTEMBER/SEPTIEMBRE - SAN MARINO. MISANO. 19 SEPTEMBER/SEPTIEMBRE - HUNGARY. BALATONRING. 10 OCTOBER/OCTUBRE - MALAYSIA. SEPANG. 17 OCTOBER/OCTUBRE - AUSTRAILIA. PHILIP ISLAND. 31 OCTOBER/OCTUBRE - PORTUGAL. ESTORIL. 7 NOVEMBER/NOVIEMBE - VALENCIA. RICARDO TORMO.

BRITCHAT . 29

Sundry BABY Items

Important

Wanted

To advertise here for free, email britchatenq@me.com

Lonely expat. needs company. If you’d like a chat over a cup of tea please phone Gill. 962 665 873. Could Nieves please contact me again? I’ve lost your number.

CLASSIFIEDS MUST be with us by the 1st of the month please and will be placed for ONE month only. If you wish to repeat it please send in again otherwise we will assume sold!

FOR A SALE?

QUICKER

Advertise it in BRITCHAT & Guide2Valencia

both!

Not only do you get a free Classified with Britchat, space permitting, we will give you more space in Guide2Valencia and you can have 4 photos and UNLIMITED text, all for FREE! All you have to do, is become a MEMBER at www.guide2valencia.com

and make up your own classified advert.

BRITCHAT . 30

Classifieds Mercedes 208 diesel van.

LHD

Spanish plates, ITV until April. High top, 5 seats. 1994, but low mileage for age. Excellent runner. Selling because we are moving to the UK, so bargain price of 1800 euros. Chiva area. Tel 679573919

Shop Fittings 1 large chest freezer 450 euros, 1 small chest freezer 250 euros, Large chillier 450 euros, 1 single folding bed 100 euros Ono, Till machine, Shop shelves, Free standing shelves, 2 convex mirrors, Shopping trolleys Phone: 662109668 or 962526730

Mothercare Stroller baby buggie with leg muff and rain cover 15 euros, Brevi travel cot with travel bag 10 euros, High chair 10 euros, Contact Alan on 650 580 247 Casinos area

90 x 90 cm corner shower tray. brand new, still in box 15 euros. Contact Alan on 650 580 247 Casinos area. .

Hewlett Packard Photo Smart Printer 7700 series 15 euros. Contact Alan on 650 580 247 Casinos area.

Sony Triniton TV 32 inch with glass door cabinet

stand and Sony DVD player 30 euros. Contact Alan on 650 580 247 Casinos area.

Lunar Mercury CEL 16ft luxury 2 berth caravan. Cassette loo, large

shower, oven and 4 ring hob, fridge, warm air central heating, gas and electric hot water, status TV ariel. Complete with full awning and double bedroom awning and all accessories.

1200 euros or very near offer.

Contact Alan 650 580 247.

Casinos area.

CLASSIFIED CHAT, BRITCHAT MISSION & LEGAL STUFF

SUDOKU

Codeword Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26. Can you crack the code and solve the crossword? Every letter of the alphabet is used at least once. Three letters are already in place to get you started. All words are in English.

BRIT FUN

BRITCHAT . 31