Contents Editorial It’s the legendary GUSA party tonight! All you sport stars don your best space costume and get down to GUU. We also have Al Fresco Open Mic on today at 2pm. Grab a pint and join us outside in the sun. Claire Flynn GUU Libraries Convenor
3 - Hello! 4 - Highlights - Today in GUU 5 - Space: The Final FrontierThe GUSA Party 7 - Live from the Last NightPhotographs 9- Midweek Lull? 10 - GUU Overheard and Jokes Of The Day Editor-in-Chief (GUU Libraries Convenor) Claire Flynn Editorial Team (GUU Libraries Committee) If you’d like to conLucy Keown Harriet Johnston tribute to the GUUi in Kirsty McKenzie any way; editorially, Kate Whitaker writing or photography Kathryn Stevenson e-mail: libraries@ Joseph Meaden
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The opinions expressed in this publication do not represent those of the Glasgow University Union.
Hello, hope
all you Freshers’ had a great time at Huw Stephens last night. You guys are genuinely the object of jealousy for thousands of second, third and fourth year students, let alone all those sad sad graduates, who all wish they could be a carefree fresher once more. So make sure you don’t waste a minute of this week and do EVERYTHING you possibly can! This is going to be one of the best weeks of your life. While we recommend you try out both student unions and lots of different activities during your FW13 experience, we have to tell you that we have the most amazing line up at GUU this year, which quite frankly blows everyone else’s efforts out of the water. From amazing DJs like Scotland’s own Hostage to fantastic bands like The Youth and The Young. The Freshers’ Week Debate to Al Fresco Open Mic. Our amazing fancy dress GUSA party to -3-
the 10 Hour Superhero Party and so much more, we have something to get involved in for absolutely everyone. Even you. And if you want to have a knees-up or just a few beers, we have the legendary Beer Bar open all week, right at the heart of the Union. Keep up to date with what’s going on this week in our posters and leaflets papering campus, on Facebook at facebook. com/GUUnion, on Twitter @ GUUnion, and on our brand new mobile-app by typing myapp.is/guufreshers into your web browser. There’s no excuse for missing out! So what are you waiting for? Grab your friends, old and new, that weird flatmate no one likes and the mature student from the floor above, and get down here ASAP. The booths in the Beer Bar are filling up. We’ll see you soon. Lots of love The GUUi
Highlights Today in Glasgow University Union... Pool, Snooker and Darts Competitions: 2pm, Billiards Hall and Beer Bar Come along and prove that you are the best at all the pub sports- have a pint whilst you’re at it.
Al Fresco Open Mic- 2pm, Grassy Knoll
Come along and have a sing-song on our grassy knoll in the sunshine. If you’re not musical grab a drink and get set to watch as other students wow you with their talent.
Poker: 7pm, Bridie Library
A good way to make some new friends and some money, if you’re any good that is.
The GUSA Party: 7pm, Debates Chamber
We let our pink clad aliens take over the Union for the night and show you how fun sport at Glasgow really is. Prepare for lift off.
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Prepare for lift off. You are about
to be blasted into another universe the GUSA Space Party! For your cosmological delights, we open our doors to those little rascals at GUSA and let them transform GUU into an intergalactic experience never to be forgotten. Expect the unexpected. Astronauts armed with stories of blacks holes. Asteroids aimed to knock you into dark matter and aliens arranged to take you on an out of this world journey. I hope I’m not blowing this up too much? Of course not. I mean… it’s no ‘Oops I Did It Again’ video. But GUSA always have a surprise up their sleeve to make sure you have a star-mazing time. Just to ensure I fulfil all your astronomical expectations, allow me to equip you with a few space inspired chat up lines… Wait till you see the size of my rocket (use with caution ladies). The lack of gravity is not the only thing that will sweep you off your feet . -6-
Space: The ‘cause my shuffle is starting to lift off. Care to join the 100,000 mile high club? In space, no one can hear us scream (best to use on intoxicated candidates who will not detect the sinister undertones). I could use some help defrosting my nosecone. It’s safe to say these lines aren’t fail proof but I have no doubt that those cheeky chappies at GUSA will keep you entertained. Being a keen hockey player, I am well acquainted with GUSA; however, as a fresher I was clueless. My first assumption was that the student bodies hated each other; a rather legitimate conclusion to come to after the Freshers’ Address chanting competitions. If like me, you believed in this heart-filled hatred, do not fear- they do actually like each other. There is a strong link between GUSA and GUU that every sporting star will quickly become acquainted with. GUU
Final Frontier which plays host to a variety of GUSA’s clubs. Sport teams often host their annual dinner in GUU or simply hire out a room before heading out on a memorable (or not so memorable in many cases) social. Even if it’s just a meeting point before matches or a quick pint after to rehydrate, GUU plays a vital role in sporting life. My own fresher’s experience of the GUSA Party was a bit of a jungle- literally. The theme was animal kingdom. Pretty sure the sale of Primark’s tiger/monkey onesies hit an all-time high that year. I attempted to make friends by volunteering to face paint. My summer job working with a children’s entertainments company finally paid off. Dressed for the part, we strutted into the GUU to find cages of fresher helpers. The cages were on the stage so it was the first thing that caught your eye among the tropical disaster that was once the debates chamber. Some of GUSA’s finest (we’ll not name names) were wholeheartedly bashing on the bars. At first - Follow us: twitter.com/guuimagazine
I thought it was a violation of human rights, but then I realised how committed these helpers were to their role and thought, “so the people in the pink tops are crazy.” Finally I concluded that they are actually very kind and considerate for wanting us to have a top notch experience. Alcohol was not a factor at all. You may not be greeted with cages in your ‘Space Party’ experience but expect to find more than life on mars. Let GUSA allow you to (in the words of Star Trek) “boldly go where no man has gone before.” -Kathryn Stevenson
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LIVE FROM
Like us at facebook.com from GUU Fre -7-
LAST NIGHT
m/GUUnion to see all photos eshers’ Week ‘13 -8-
If
Mid-Week Lull?
you are reading this, then it means you have got half way through Freshers Week - well done! It’s been crazy and exciting so far, but it ain’t finished yet! Of course, there will be a mixed bag of emotions as well as a mixed stomach of alcohol. You might be feeling a tad home sick, finding it difficult to make friends and your mood may furthermore be brought down by those hangovers... Well, if you are facing such problems or just having those mid week blues, hopefully the following tips will help: 1. Go for a walk. Glasgow is Gaelic for ‘Dear Green Place’ and has over 90 parks and formal gardens. Literally across the road from the GUU there lies Kelvingrove Park. Also, within minutes from campus, there is the Botanic Gardens at the top of Byres Road. Both places are perfect to unwind and relax. 2. Have a cuppa tea or mug of coffee. Come to the GUU’s very own
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Drawing Room Coffee Shop which serves tea, coffee, cakes, and other refreshments at student-friendly prices! 3. Go to an art gallery or museum. There is the Hunterian which is just next to the University Library. And at the bottom of Kelvin Way there is the rather grand building that is the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. 4. Have a game of snooker in the GUU’s Billiard Hall. Alternatively, there are pool tables downstairs by the Beer Bar. 5. Enjoy a quiet read in one of the GUU libraries. 6. Come to “Adopt a Fresher” in the Beer Bar this Friday! Whatever you do, enjoy the rest of your week! Remember, our enthusiastic team of Freshers’ Helpers are here to make your experience the best it can be, so do not hesitiate to come and chat to one of us -Joseph Meaden
GUU Overheard Be careful guys- the walls have ears... I don’t normally hashtag but I’d do anything for GUU. Your Uncle sounds wicked- I’d love to meet him. Here comes the awkward moment... He’s dead. You look like a sixty-seven year old man... That’s hilarious. If I had sex with the sun my dick would evaporate.
Jokes Of The Day In order to ward off any post-alcohol blues we’ll provide you with a couple of hilarious (ly awful) jokes. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile. I heard Cadbury are thinking of bringing out a new chocolate bar... could be a Chinese Wispa.
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