Swan Magazine April 2018

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IN THIS ISSUE PAGE

FEATURES ANZAC

Avenue of Honour Installation Beersheba Silence Broken

What the RSL Does

Books and Writing

7 6 4 6

April at KSP

The Idler The Ute

3 22 19

Business Card Board

Finance with Steve Networking

43 38 39

Business

Community

Front Page Photograph: Lest We Forget Photograph: 123RF (See story on page 4)

PAGE

From Fear to Freedom 16 From Toothbrushes to Gardens 17 Jessica Shaw MLA 14 Letters to the Editor 23 Moondyne Joe’s Back 35 Out and About with Sharron 33 Please Help Slate Cafe 15 SAFE 42 SVRN 38 What’s Your Big Idea?

40 New Appointment for Tourism 40 Toxic Weed Warning 41

The Compassionate Friends What’s On

43 18

Douglas Wineries & Dineries Sweet Temptations Tour Syd and Phyllis

10 11 8

‘Allo, ‘Allo at Stirling Film Reviews Theatre with Gordon The Return at Kads TV with Chris

27 30 36 26 28

Perth Summer League Large Animal Rescue Course Gardening Biosecurity Warning Transform your Garden

24 12

Dining Out

Entertainment

Leisure

44 44

DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Swan Magazine does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

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Email: editor@swanmagazine.com.au Registered Address: 18 Tokay Lane, The Vines, Western Australia 6069 MAY DEADLINES: Advertisements: 1st May Editorial: 1st May Copyright: Swan Magazine 2018 2

BOOKS APRIL AT KSP WRITER’S CENTRE SHANNON COYLE

KSP WRITERS GROUPS: Various days and times KSP offers several social writing groups which are run weekly, fortnightly and monthly for ages ten and up.

Whether you are a beginner or a published author, there is a group here for you. Come along to meet like-minded peers and participate in critiquing of works-in-progress, writing exercises, and discussions on publishing and craft.

Learn about industry trends, events and opportunities, and enjoy morning tea or glass of wine – depending on the timeslot! Costs from $5 per session; free first class trial for youth groups. No need to book, just consult the KSP Writers’ Centre website for group details and times, and head on over: www. kspwriterscentre.com Workshop: So You Want to … Ramp Up Research Saturday 14 April, 1.00-4.00pm Every writer needs a research plan. Whether you want to know why the Michaelmas daisy is also called an astor or what happened in the world on a particular day in 1984, research is an integral part of your story, novel, memoir and poem, or it ought to be.

In this workshop led by KSP Writer-in-Residence alumni and UWA Publishing author Rashida Murphy we will explore the thrill, challenges and pitfalls of research.

Leading with examples from my own published works I will guide participants through the research maze. When should you start? When should you stop? What resources are available? How

do you prevent yourself from sounding like a research paper?

Together we will discuss why, when and how you can incorporate what you "find out” into your stories. What you leave out is as important as what you put in. Tickets from $35.

School Holiday Press Club Thursday 19 April 2018, 9.30am-3.30pm This full day adventure will have young writers – KSP cadets – aged between 10-17 years unleashing their creative minds.

Become a journalist or feature fiction writer for a day; all forms of writing are welcome at the KSP Press Club! Includes games and exercises, personalised Press Pass on lanyard plus lunch and snacks. All work created will be published on the Press Club blog.

Tickets from $55, advance bookings essential For more details please visit the KSP website www. kspwriterscentre.com or phone the office 9294 1872.

OPEN DAY

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ANZAC SILENCE BROKEN VALERIE EVERETT

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ake a stroll through the beautiful grounds of the Katharine Susannah Prichard Writers’ Centre in Greenmount and you can’t help but be enchanted by its serenity.

On the rare occasion that you’re alone inside the quaint timber cottage, once shared by Katharine, her husband, Hugo Throssell and their son, Ric, the silence may be interrupted only by the creak of a floorboard or the crack of the tin roof.

Beyond the cottage, pathways wind past scent-filled gardens and groves of native flora to shady trees and secret nooks. Between dawn and dusk the peace is interspersed with the occasional song from the many birds who call the property ‘home’; parrots, willy-wagtails, magpies and kookaburras that nest in the towering gum trees.

The property isn’t always this quiet. Almost every day of the week, the writing room in the cottage comes alive with the merry buzz of writing groups as members read their stories and share ideas. On special occasions, those wanting to learn more of their craft attend workshops.

Then, every few weeks, there is the excited chatter of guests feasting on gourmet fare at Literary Dinners, while listening to readings from a guest author.

Or, there is the sound of the comings and goings of visitors during Open Days*.

People of all ages, curious to see the past residence of one of Australia’s most esteemed authors. Further away from the cottage, on the gently sloping land, writers are at work, playing with words and plotting story-lines, their creativity sparked in the solitude of the cabins.

With your senses immersed in the tranquillity of ‘Katharine’s Place’, as it’s called, you would have to admit that what you hear is pretty much the sound of creativity in action. Interspersed with fun. Yet, nothing overly dramatic. Once aware of the environment, it’s hard to imagine that these grounds once resounded to the thud of hooves of bucking broncos and all the thrills and spills of wild-west shows.

Close your eyes and imagine you’ve time-travelled back to 1933. When the place could have resembled a set from a Hollywood western, complete with a cast of cowboys, props, stunt men, an excited audience and Hugo Throssell as producer and director.

There were four wild-west shows in 1933 and it could be said that not before, or since, has Greenmount seen such spectacles. Yet, as momentous as they seemed, those days of the wild-west were, tragically, the precursor to a tragedy.

Life had been full of ups and downs for Hugo since his return from the Great War. His incredible gallantry at Gallipoli in 1915, as a 10th Light Horseman, saw him decorated with the Victoria Cross. He sustained several wounds and while recovering in a London hospital he met Katharine.

Their attraction was instant, passionate, and after the

war they married. Outwardly, the life they were making for themselves and their child, born in 1922, seemed idyllic at Greenmount. He renovating their cottage, she making jams and pickles and the small family of three planting flower beds and vegetable gardens.

But Hugo’s fame at earning the Victoria Cross had not bought him fortune. He was also mentally wounded from the war and was often out of work. His numerous financial schemes had failed and the family’s survival depended on the earnings from Katharine’s writing. By 1933 Hugo’s debts had mounted to a serious sum of £4,000. By then he was a desperate man.

Yet, he was a tough, resourceful sort of bloke. He didn’t give up easily. After Katharine had left in mid-July 1933 on a long trip to London and the Soviet Union, Hugo had a brainwave. A grand scheme to recover financially. He had the necessary land to do it, a swag of riding mates from the 10th Light Horse to participate, contacts with the media to promote it and his own guts and drive to carry it off.

He would hold wild-west shows on his Greenmount property with all the hoopla necessary to attract large feepaying crowds. His shows would be something Greenmount, even Perth, had never before seen.

Moreover, money would flow in!

By the time his wife returned, he would surprise her. The family would be out of debt.

Hugo threw himself into their organisation. There were horses, ponies, steers, saddles, bridles, feed and stock whips to buy. Corrals and a kiosk to build. Men to hire and deck out in cowboy costumes. Events to plan. Publicity to disperse.

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He scrounged the last of his money to pay for what he could. He wrote promissory notes and planned to pay off other expenses out of his takings. The workload was enormous. He battled to hold down his government job with the Department of Agriculture and handle the massive organisation of the wildwest shows. But Hugo pressed on.

By the time of the grand opening, on Sunday 30 July, newspapers had played their part, promoting it as a day’s outing not to be missed. The publicity worked.

When cars full of people and special trains loaded with passengers streamed up from the city to Greenmount, there would have been no mistaking where the action was!

It was all happening at Hugo Throssell’s Lazy H1T Ranch.

A brass band boomed. A pilot in a bi-plane flew stunts and loop-the-loops overhead. Drivers revved their engines readying for a car race up the hill.

Horses were mustered. Saddles were strapped. Bits clamped between teeth.

There were displays aplenty; clay pigeon shooting, archery, boomerang throwing, lassoing and rough riding.

Across the hills and valleys the noise would have travelled. How could anyone in the vicinity not hear it?

Guns shooting, stockwhips cracking and voices imploring “Rally up. Rally up!” Hugo’s roustabouts were at work. Urging the crowd to the rodeo ring to watch riders, buck-jumping, or astride bucking broncos. For those in the crowd game to have a go, there were trail rides through the hills. People came, looked and

participated. But the day was doomed from the start.

Hugo had worked himself to exhaustion. He’d had second thoughts about the whole affair, but knew it was too late to pull out. Added to this, he had an agonising injury. A horse had trodden on his foot. Even hobbling was impossible. He had to meet and greet and direct the show on horseback.

Worse still, police from Midland had called in that morning.

They had devastating news. It was a Sunday and Hugo couldn’t accept money for admission. It was against the law. Entry fees had to go to charity.

More disappointing would have been the sight of people coming to see, but not really to spend. It was, after all, the years of the Great Depression and people were frugal with spare money. Takings from the sale of refreshments and the trail rides were disappointing. By day’s end, Hugo thanked everyone, put on a brave face, but inside he was broken.

Things got worse.

Within days he lost his government job, one source of stable income. There seemed no other alternative, but to press on with the wildwest shows, regardless.

Optimistically, Hugo held three more, on Saturday 12 August, Sunday 20 August and Saturday 9 September. But they reaped few financial rewards.

Hugo knew he was finished. He sold his animals and gear and salvaged what funds he could.

Being a man of utmost pride and honesty, he did all he could to pay out his workers and settle his immediate debts.

By then he was deeply depressed. He couldn’t eat. Sleep.

Everything compounded. His mind was awhirl with shocking memories of the war. The sound of bombs, bullets and the cries of the wounded. In his own words, Hugo spoke of his ‘Old war head. It’s going phut, and that’s no good for anyone concerned.’

In desperation he went to pawn his Victoria Cross. To be offered a measly ten shillings. His debts now totalled £9,000.

Significantly more than before the wild-west shows. He felt he had failed Katharine, his true love, miserably.

His ending was a tragedy. As a new day dawned on 19 November 1933 Hugo shot himself through the head with his service revolver. Alone on the verandah of the cottage. That crack of a bullet would have shattered the silence. Scared birds from their nests. Screeching. Jolted neighours from their slumbers. Startled.

Upon reflection, it could be said that Hugo’s suicide was his final act of gallantry. He hoped it would mean that his beloved wife, on her return, would be granted a war-widow’s pension.

Not a fortune, but enough to sustain her and his son. Whichever way his death is interpreted, it is certain that fifteen years after it ended, the war had claimed another casualty.

Katharine’s Place is indeed serene as you wander the grounds today. Yet, as you absorb its peace and beauty one sound is too unbearable to want to imagine. That tragic bullet. Silence broken. Unforgotten.

Editor: The next KSP Open Day is on the 6th May, 2018.

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ANZAC

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WHAT THE RSL DOES

support to Australia’s veterans and their families. That core mission has never changed but has continued to evolve to meet the needs of each generation of servicemen and women.

he Returned & Services League of Australia (RSL) is a National Organisation operating through National Headquarters, State Branches, District Boards and Sub-Branches.

The first state associations in 1916 were founded with aims and objectives, which were correlated and adopted as the objectives of the League.

RSL MOTTO

The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.

• Assist and care for serving and ex-serving Australian Defence Force personnel and their dependants who are sick, suffering from mental illness, elderly, homeless or otherwise in need of relief.

• Support serving personnel of the Australian Defence Force at home and abroad and actively assist them in their transition to civilian life, especially if they are detrimentally affected by their Defence service.

• Provide assistance to serving and ex-serving Australian Defence Force personnel and their dependants to secure compensation, benefits and assistance that they are eligible to receive under law.

• Assist in the preservation of the memory, honour and records of those who suffered and died for Australia.

POETRY BEERSHEBA

WA STATE BRANCH

RSLWA has 7,528 Service Members and 2,230 Affiliates that belong to a network of 129 Sub-Branches ranging from several thousands in the metropolitan and regional centres, to but a few in small rural areas who are determined to retain the identity of the ex-service community in their location.

In early 1916 a meeting was convened in Perth and it was decided to form the 11th Battalion Association so that returning soldiers could speak with one voice after having received poor treatment at the hands of the authorities. At the next meeting the Association’s scope was enlarged so as to include all members of the 3rd Infantry Brigade.

On 27 May 1916 it was resolved that the name should be altered to ‘Returned Soldiers’ Association’ and that membership should be open to men of all units.

The first President was elected in May 1916 and the Soldiers Welcome Institute was the first permanent home of the League in Western Australia, established by the Soldiers Welcome Committee in 1916.

Organisations similar to the RSA were being founded interstate. With their growth was awakening a federal spirit which had so successfully bound the A.I.F in the field.

They were experiencing common problems throughout the Commonwealth. As a result a meeting in Sydney was held with a delegate from NSW, VIC, SA and QLD on 10 May 1916 and the Returned Sailors and Soldiers Imperial League of Australia came into being. Subsequently it was agreed to hold a more representative meeting in Melbourne to reach agreement regarding the formation of an Australia-wide Returned Soldier’s Association. That meeting agreed the name Returned Sailors and Soldiers Imperial League of Australia (RSSILA).

The WA Branch of the Returned Sailors and Soldiers Imperial League of Australia was chartered on 25 April 1917. In November 1940 the word ‘Airmen’s’ was added and the name became Returned Sailors’, Soldiers and Airmen’s Imperial League of Australia (RSSAILA) and, in October 1965, a change to Returned Services League of Australia was made.

In September 1990 to cater for a wider membership, the name was changed to Returned & Services League of Australia, which remains today.

The RSL was founded to provide comradeship and

MIMMA TORNATORA

Horses fly without wings and conquer without swords. Anon Behold, I tell you a story of elegance in the arid desert Far from Kosciusko’s green pastures, embodied in history a tradition of Forget Me Not Hearts a-fleeting, bayonets poised forward towards The Way of the Patriarchs Regaling in victory the charge we took thirst on my side Shrapnel on my bloodied flanks, I grace the earth only to surface, with sun on my face hooves pounding the Palestinian terrain Endless bloodshed, the fallen drowned as the victors toast the wells Behold, I tell you a story of The ANZACs and their travelling companions. *********************** Acknowledgements: Beersheba was previously published in Wooden Skeletons in 2017 ‘The Way of the Patriarchs’ is a biblical term. Beersheba served as the last stop on the road called The Way of the Patriarchs.

This ancient highway stretched along the watershed of the Hill Country and received its name from the patriarchs who travelled north and south along it. The road dead-ended at Beersheba. It signified the last stop and the point of beginning.

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ANZAC AVENUE OF HONOUR INSTALLATION KIM KIRKMAN

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n immersive art installation by Bruce Munro will illuminate the Avenue of Honour at Mt Clarence, paying homage to the Anzacs with 13,000 shining spheres marking the last sight of home for 41,000 troops who departed from Albany for the Great War. The internationally renowned UK artist’s ephemeral landscape installation will reference the national flowers of Australia and New Zealand; honouring 100 years since the First World War’s end and celebrating Albany’s unique biodiversity with thousands of lights shining in the whites, yellows and golds of the wattle and the kowhai.

Highlighting the region’s unique sense of place and identity in sophisticated, contemporary ways, Field of Light: Avenue of Honour is expected to attract more than 28,500 people including 8,500 visitors from outside the Great Southern region.

The installation was commissioned by independent, non-profit cultural organisation FORM with the City of Albany and made possible by funding from the Australian Government and the State Government.

It will coincide with peak wildflower season and the conclusion of the Anzac Centenary commemorations, exhibiting from October 2018 through to Anzac Day in April 2019.

The installation’s thousands of glass spheres on slender stems will be ‘planted’ along the avenue at Albany Heritage Park and the Desert Mounted Corps Memorial by scores of local volunteers, illuminating the tree-lined path with an artwork blooming at night like wildflowers after rain.

Incorporating Munro’s motif use of light on an environmental scale to create an emotional response for the viewer, Field of Light: Avenue of Honour will symbolise wild beauty, sacrifice, courage and honour.

“It is too easy for our generation to forget the sacrifices that were made [and] it is difficult to attribute the freedoms that we take for granted today to a War that ended one hundred years

ago,” Bruce Munro said. “To be given an opportunity to create a work in remembrance of the Anzacs is a wonderful honour and a privilege. Albany would have been the last sight of home for many and this is a poignant thought.”

Each iteration of the Field of Light is an organic piece that over time has stretched across fields, along city parks and through forested land, in urban squares, on building roofs and over rocky outcrops. It has inspired, led to love, healed sadness and has made people think.

Munro’s most recent commission, Field of Light at Uluru, attracted more than 120,000 people in twelve months and was extended for a further year until March 2018.

FORM’s Executive Director Lynda Dorrington said the Albany installation would translate the notion of memorial into an ephemeral and emotional encounter, inviting viewers to engage with the region’s landscape, environment and history through an immersive experience.

“This artwork will become a symbolic celebration of freedom and new life, emphasising beauty in diversity, growth and connection to one another,” Ms Dorrington said.

“Field of Light: Avenue of Honour will draw locals and tourists to see Albany and Western Australia quite literally, in a different light.”

BRUCE MUNRO

Artist Bruce Munro is best known for producing large immersive light-based installations, which often employ a massing of components by the thousands. An artistic diarist, he has spent over thirty years collecting and recording ideas and images in his sketchbooks, which he returns to over time as source material.

Language, literature, science, and music have also greatly influenced his work. Frequently, Bruce’s subject matter is his own experience of fleeting moments of rapport with the world and existence in its largest sense of being part of life’s essential pattern. His reoccurring motif is the use of light on an environmental scale in order to create an emotional response for the viewer.

“Field of Light was born of an idea and an experience whilst travelling in Australia in 1992 and something I wanted to simply share with people. “ Bruce Munro.

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llenbrook RSL are hosting a ANZAC Dawn Service / Gunfire Breakfast at Ellenbrook Districts Open Space, Maffina Pde Ellenbrook commencing at 0545 on 25 April 2018.

President Chris Coote would like to extend the public at large an invitation to attend the ANZAC Day Dawn Service.

Over the past ten years the Ellenbrook RSL Service’s Dawn Service has grown from a service with two hundred community members in attendance, to last year, 2017, which had over 5000 community members attending the commemorative service.

Your presence at their service will affirm to the community of Ellenbrook and Surrounding Area your on-going support of Ellenbrook RSL, especially as this is the 21st Anniversary of the Ellenbrook RSL Sub Branch.

It is also, of course, the 100th Anniversary of the Armistice and end of World War One. There is ample parking.

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DINING OUT Unfortunately for her, Triple Cooked Chips ($6) were not an option as they were cooked in the same oil used for crumbed food (celiacs are really, really sensitive about gluten).

However the ‘Hola Avo’ ($16) passed muster. Served on a slice of toasted gluten-free bread it’s South-west avocado, smashed, charred sweetcorn with tomato salsa and chipotle sauce.

Absolutely delicious, even the bread. Incidentally chipotle sauce, if you would like to try making your own, consists of a chipotle chilli, mayonnaise, Greek yoghurt, coriander, cumin, dill and salt.

For myself, I chose the Spanish Beans, Eggs & Chorizo ($18) of home-cooked Baked Beans, Spanish spices, two poached eggs, Chorizo, Manchego cheese and toast.

We ordered at the counter and both meals came with remarkable promptness. Roxy’s looked lovely and colourful and DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE tasted delicious.

Mine looked a lot less appetising being mostly brownish-grey, ames have a fashion - it is even possible to guess pretty accurately someone’s age if their name is Shane, Tracey, Kylie dusty with finely grated cheese - but, by Savarin, did it taste great?

Rich, spicy, delicious, the poached eggs free-range (you can or Jasper, for example. always tell by the colour of the yoke - these were almost orange) Names like Ruby, Esme, Euphemia, Oscar, Daphne and so are now considered old-fashioned. So ‘Syd & Phyllis’ are dated names and perfectly cooked. The ingredients balanced and melded beautifully into a harmonious whole that I could eat many, many and an odd choice for a modern-styled cafe. times before tiring.

But there is a reason, and a rather cool reason at that. The owners, partners Sam Oates and Jayde Ashworth have named the Although those were our choices, we had a certain difficulty cafe, tucked away in the Railway Workshops complex, after Sam’s selecting them. Breakfast Bruschetta ($18) of blistered Heirloom tomatoes, Garlic Lima beans, pesto and Balsamic vinegar on grandparents. Sam worked at the Railway Workshops, as did toasted wood-fired bread looked pretty enticing, as did the Jayde’s Grandfather, closing the circle. omlette of sauteéd leek, tomatoes, herbs and Kale ($16).

The story is writ large upon the wall - ‘If Syd never

These somewhat unusual breakfast met Phyllis, Sam would never have met Jayde and we choices came with would never have met You.’ Jayde and Sam have exactly the right idea with Syd & Phyllis - the interior is crisp and clean, a relaxing dove grey with huge windows, and a mixture of padded benches, table settings, and a bar for quick meals.

The menu is heavily reliant on local fresh produce and aimed at as wide a patronage as possible.

My sister is celiac, so when we lunch together, gluten-free is an important factor. Syd & Phyllis caters for this, vegetarian and vegan choices as well as offering a wide range of food styles and cuisines.

They offer a breakfast menu (Mornings at the Table), an all-day menu (All Day Dining) and each has several choices for sharing and salads as well as an amazingly varied All Day Beverages menu of teas, coffees, juices and milkshakes.

Milkshakes such as the ‘Unicorn’ ($9) of Grape, Banana & Strawberry milk with Junction Ice-Cream topped with Rainbow Sprinkles, Sour Worms and a Lollipop. (Just a wild guess, of course, but I think this may be aimed at the younger patron.)

Roxy and I dropped in at 11:00am for an early light lunch or Brunch. We sat at the back on a padded bench, loaded with comfortable looking cushions and a view across the square.

We browsed the menu making appreciative noises and comments. Choice was difficult, especially after Roxy checked with the server about the glutenfree status of various dishes.

The Thoughts of an Ageing, Balding Foodie

SYD AND PHYLLIS

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classics - eggs Benedict (Old Bene - $18), Buttermilk pancakes ($16), Bacon and Eggs on Toast ($14) all offered with extras like bacon, mushrooms, beans, sausage and so on.

I followed my meal with an outstanding mug of coffee while Roxy felt inclined towards something sweet.

For a coeliac there are not that many options - chocolate cake seldom coming without flour. The chocolate cake served at Sid & Phyllis is made with beetroot for moisture and richness and has delicious, earthy tones.

Roxy like her tea weak, very, very weak. It has the kick of a sick mouse in carpet slippers.

Syd & Phyillis were happy to oblige with a pot of hot water, milk and she supplied her own teabag of Darjeeling.

This, despite the fact that Syd & Phyillis offers Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Green, Peppermint, Lemon Ginger, Summer Breeze Raw and Tumeric Chai.

Syd & Phyllis is a clean, charming cafe of modern design offering good, innovative and traditional foods at reasonable prices with swift, helpful and polite service. What more could any diner possibly want?

Very Highly Recommended Indeed.

The hidden gem of a bar in Bassendean 77 Old Perth Road

OPEN Wednesday - Thursday 5-10ish Friday 5 - 10:30ish Saturday - Sunday 12 - 10:30ish HAVING A FUNCTION? - FULLY CATERED & NO HIRE FEE 9

DOUGLAS’ WINERIES AND DINERIES

These are the restaurants and eateries, casual and formal, and wineries that I personally reccommend and eat at for pleasure.

The hidden gem of a bar in Bassendean 77 Old Perth Road

OPEN Wednesday - Thursday 5-10ish Friday 5 - 10:30ish Saturday - Sunday 12 - 10:30ish HAVING A FUNCTION? - FULLY CATERED & NO HIRE FEE

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FOOD SWEET TEMPTATIONS TRAIL

DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

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very good meal ends with a sweet course. Chocolates outsell every other kind of sweet treat by a huge percentage and almost every one had a favourite lolly when they were young - be it Gummy Bears, Sour Worms, RedSkins, Peppermint Crisp or Maynards Wine Gums.

All of which is to say that as human beings we really, really like sugar and sweet foods.

So it follows that the Swan Valley, which has so much good stuff on offer would also offer a great range of sweet tempttions. This being so, the good folks at the City of Swan Tourism has put together a neat little one-day tour of some of the more popular highlights.

I was fortunate enough to be on the inaugural tour along with a few other media/foodies/food writers on a chartered bus. It took us just shy of five hours and we had a wonderful time. The food was delicious, the information fascinating and the company entertaining.

We chose the particular route I’ll talk about, but of course, if you’re putting together your own party you can talk it in any order at all, add more, or exclude some.

We began with a fairly new, but very welcome, venture to the Valley - the Maison Saint Honoré in Caversham.

MAISON SAINT HONORÉ

This delightful French patisserie is the inspiration of young French chef Alexandre Lui-van-sheng in what was the old Dear Friends Restaurant which has been updated and renovated in a more modern style, including a glassed in kitchen so that you can watch the Chefs and bakers whipping up the day’s delicacies.

You have no real idea of expertise until you’re watched a truly experienced baker making croissants, effortlessly, perfectly and deliciously.

Chef Alex’s specialty is the crisp, delicious nothingness called ‘Macarons’, that meringue-based confection of egg-white, icing and granulated sugar with almond powder and colouring. Each pair is sandwiched together with ganache or buttercream.

If you’ve ever tried to make some, you will know how they earned their reputation of being incredibly difficult to make well.

But they are so good we keep on trying because the taste is sublime - and Chef Alex’s are exactly what they should be, the par example of the art.

The Cafe, now with a wide and useful car park, is open, airy and inside, under cover or outside. As well as a huge takeaway business on the macarons (they come in the most delightful, thin wooden cases) many patrons choose to eat on the premises.

As well as the many other offerings, Maison Saint Honoré (‘home of St Honoré’) has on the menu Saint Honoré cake. The Catholic saint, St Honoré is the patron saint of French bakers and pastry chefs. It was invented in 1847 in Paris and is a combination of puff and choux pastries, caramelised sugar, whipped and chiboust creams. It tastes as good as it sounds.

The Masion offers brunch and lunch (Petit Dejeuner et Dejeuner) all day such as the French Breakfast ($12) of homemade croissant, toast, butter and home-made jam and a Madeline. or the Crepe Spinach ($19) of spinach,Mozzarella, goat cheese, sauteeed mushrooms, Bechmel sauce, caramelised onions with basil and either salmon or Spanish chorizo sausage, as well as a whole range of other light meals long before we even get to the patisserie delights.

The menu includes gluten and dairy-free foods among the range of Macarons, Madelines, Cannelés, Sablés, Rocher coco, Lemon meringue tarts, French patisserie in general as well as a wide range of breads and, since Pinelli Wines is right next door, delicious wine.

We continue our tour next month ...

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STANDING UP FOR SWAN HILLS RESIDENTS AND RATEPAYERS ASSOCIATIONS JESSICA SHAW MLA – MEMBER FOR SWAN HILLS

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t’s hard to believe it has been a year since I was elected as the Member for Swan Hills. It’s been a great privilege to serve our local community over the last year. Thank you for your patience and support, as I’ve learned the ropes!

March has been another busy month in the electorate of Swan Hills, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to update you on what’s been happening.

EDUCATION SUPPORT FACILITY AT AVELEY NORTH PRIMARY SCHOOL

In late February, Minister for Education and Training Sue Ellery visited the newly opened Aveley North Primary School.

During the visit, she announced that the McGowan Government will build a new Education Support Centre at the School, to help cater for young students with autism and disability.

It’s clear to me that there is a pressing need for this Support ELLENBROOK METRONET INFORMATION SESSION Centre. I’ve been contacted by parents, teachers and principals, In late March, Rita Safiotti and I hosted the first community all concerned about the lack of facilities available for primary information session for the Morley-Ellenbrook train line. There is school age students with autism and disability. I’ve heard about clearly a great level of community excitement about the project, students living in Swan Hills travelling at least two hours a day to with over 170 booking-out the session at Ellenbrook Secondary access the nearest support centre in Bayswater.

College. Given the level of demand, we also live-streamed the That’s far too long for any primary school student to have to video on Facebook. You can watch the video of the session here: travel every day. www.facebook.com/PerthMETRONET/videos/613382502335692/ Ensuring that children with autism and disabilities are supported The information session focused on the results of a community and receive the best possible education is one of my top priorities. survey about the Morley-Ellenbrook line, conducted in late 2017. That’s why I am thrilled that the McGowan Labor Government will The survey was completed by almost 2000 local residents. deliver this specialist facility in our local area.

It revealed that our community supports the construction of a Construction of the specialist facility will begin this year, train line, wants better access to public transport and would also before being opened to students in 2019. Students will also be like to see improved recreation and entertainment facilities. able to share the state-of-the-art amenities in the education Within future local station precincts, residents would like to support hub at Aveley Secondary College, including the see cafes and bars, recreational areas and retail outlets. hydrotherapy pool.

Attendees also heard that planning for the Morley-Ellenbrook line is well underway, with the alignment and future station ACCESS TO MRI SERVICES AT ST JOHN GOD locations currently being examined, and a contract for MIDLAND HOSPITAL – UPDATE development of the business case to be awarded imminently.

For many months now, I have been fighting to secure equal If you take a drive along the New Lord Street project, you can Medicare access to the MRI services at SJOG Midland Public also see the preliminary earthworks for the train line underway!

Hospital.

We are determined that this project will deliver local jobs and It is simply unacceptable that other areas of the metropolitan the facilities our community needs. That’s why consultation, area can access MRI services under Medicare, but people in our such as the survey local area cannot. and community MLA information night, Since the Liberal Federal Government took office in 2013, no new Medicare MRI licences have been granted in Western LOCAL MEMBER FOR SWAN HILLS are so important.

Australia. This is despite the fact that the city’s population has If you are increased by around 40 per cent, or 700,000 people, since 2007. @JessicaShawMLA interested in There are no fully licensed MRI machines in the north east Jessica.Shaw@mp.wa.gov.au finding out more metropolitan region of Perth. This means that people living in our about the Morleylocal area must travel to Fremantle, Joondalup or Perth CBD to Ellenbrook 9296 7688 access services under Medicare. line, visit www.

HERE TO HELP A recent Senate Inquiry report has recommended that the metronet.wa.gov.

Aveley, Bailup, Belhus, Brigadoon, Turnbull Government “immediately implement an application au.

Bullsbrook, Chidlow, Ellenbrook,

Jessica Shaw

Gidgegannup, Melaleuca, Mount Helena, Sawyers Valley, The Vines, Upper Swan, and Wooroloo.

Office Address 8/31 Egerton Drive Aveley WA 6069

Postal Address PO Box 2265 Ellenbrook WA 6069

Standing up for Swan Hills Authorised by Jessica Shaw, 8/31 Egerton Drive, Aveley, WA 6069

14

COMMUNITY PLEASE HELP SLATE CAFE

A

s the saying goes, there’s some good news and some not so good news. We’ll start with the bad: It is almost certain that Marshall Road will be completely closed to traffic between Cheltenham Street and Lord Street from the 1st May for an “estimated” sixteen weeks to facilitate an intersection to be built for the New Lord Street.

However, there is no guarantee from Main Road and its Contractor CBP that the closure will be only sixteen weeks. The road closure might be for longer duration.

The Main Roads plan to be considered by the City of Swan at their Council meeting next week on Wednesday 11th April is to create a detour on Marshall Road at Altone Road then onto Reid Highway and back onto Lord Street – meaning all of the passing traffic Slate Cafe have relied on to build their small family business will be diverted around the Café for at least four months.

And now the good news - well, it’s the less bad news really … the owners met with Main Roads and their contractors recently and they explained that the Altone Road detour will allow their customers to continue on Marshall Road past the detour to come and enjoy our great service and yummy food as normal!

A bit of background: Slate Cafe first became aware of the closure in late February when a notice on the Main Roads website was brought to their attention.

From that moment on, the owners tried to quietly work with all the stakeholders to find a way that the risk could be shared.

Importantly, they have always accepted that roadworks are necessary in a growing community that they are proud to be part of and some disruption is both inevitable and fair in the interests of the long-term greater good.

However, The so-called consultation process was merely to tell us that the road will be closed, and there is no alternative option. At this moment it looks like we haven’t been able to get any compromise (such as doing the work at night) and it looks like the plan will proceed as Main Roads declared about six weeks ago – full closure 24hrs per day for an “estimated” sixteen weeks.

Last Wednesday 04-Apr-2018 was Slate Cafe’s first chance to meet with Main Road, without any success. Main Road and CBP Contractor have elected the option that most benefit Contractor (to reduce its cost) at the family business's expense.

process with clear, objective and transparent assessment criteria to permit hospitals and radiology practices to apply for licences for Magnetic Resonance Imaging machines.”

This month I joined the Federal Shadow Minister for Health, Catherine King and heard direct from Perth Radiological Clinic about the urgent need for local access to these services. I have also written to Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt, urging the Turnbull Liberal government to address this unfair situation.

People in my community need and deserve equal access to MRI services. That’s why my Labor colleagues and I will continue to fight for this. If you’d like to show your support, please sign my petition at: www.swanhills. walabor.org.au/mri.

Moving forward: This is obviously not great for the Slate Cafe family or the team of dedicated staff they consider themselves are very lucky to have developed since they built our chance for a clean slate in what was then, a very under-developed rural area.

They know that the passing trade will fall to zero, those specifically coming to the Café will be inconvenienced and much of the goodwill they have worked so hard to create for their little haven will be gone when the road eventually re-opens.

This makes the owners and staff very nervous and many of their family and staff have been quite stressed about how they will survive the next five months.

This article is just to let you – their highly valued friends and patrons– know about what is about to happen.

We are sure thay you will want to know how you can help them keep their little fur-baby and family friendly sanctuary open through what will undoubtedly be the most challenging five months they have experienced so far.

Please help us save Slate Cafe by signing the petition that has been created on Change.org here: http://tinyurl.com/y8o66b75.

Slate Cafe are going to need all the help and support we can get to persuade the City of Swan Council to review their decision, so please sign the petition (2,916 signatures as at today) and tell as many people as you can.

You can also help by making sure you keep on patronising them during this trying time.

ADVERTISEMENT

Donna

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

FARAGHER

jp mlc

Member for East Metropolitan Region Shadow Minister for Education; Training; Women’s Interests

Here to help!

Ground Floor, 108 Swan Street Guildford 6055 9379 0840 | Faragher.eastmetro@mp.wa.gov.au Authorised by D.Faragher, 108 Swan Street, Guildford WA 6055.

15

COMMUNITY FROM FEAR TO FREEDOM LESLIE HERBERT

‘Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn and we find ourselves at a point of conflict in a difficult or painful situation. It can feel like you’re suffocating, stuck in a deep dark hole with no way out’

T

hat is a quote from the foreward written by Alicia Van Schoonhoven for From Fear to Freedom, a collection of personal stories by ten everyday women, all of whom survived incredible hardships such as domstic violence, sexual abuse, drug addiction, suicide and mental illness.

The book was written by Adrian Kwan, the founder of Women & Beyond, a women’s empowerment business, as well as the owner of his own tennis coaching business. He has been a coach and mentor for all his working life, whether as a tutor, sports, life or business coach.

Adrian Kwan: “We’re living in an age where most of us should be happier than we’ve ever been. Just look at the opportunities that surround most of us. Yet why are so many of us struggling, left feeling stigmatised and alone?

Why is suicide such a prevalent problem in our modern Western society?

“The aim of The Fear to Freedom Project is to inspire and empower. More than that, I really hope it changes or saves one person’s life. What more could one ask for?”

Each of the ten stories is inspirational and aspirational, such as that of Alicia Van Schoonhoven - a woman who from the outside had it all - intelligent, capable, beautiful, a beauty queen and pagent winner and yet the insidious worm of self-doubt, depression and anxiety ate away at her, eventually leading her into a downward spiral culminating in panic attacks. How she pulled herself back from the brink is a tribute to her courage.

Alicia’s is just one of the stories and the book is a ‘mustread’ for anyone going through a difficult time. The book is available on Amazon here: www.amazon.com/Fear-FreedomInspiring-Stories-Women-ebook/dp/B0784652YS and more details about Adrian Kwan and the Fear to Freedom Project may be found here: www.thef2fproject.com

choonh Alicia Van S

oven

ADVERTISEMENT

KEN WYATT MP Federal Member for Hasluck 9359 0322

ken.wyatt.mp@aph.gov.au

kenwyatt.com.au

kenwyattmp

Authorised by K.Wyatt MP, Shop 10-12 Forrestfield Marketplace, 80 Hale Road, Forrestfield WA 6058.

Adrian Kwan and Alicia Van Schoonhoven at the book launch 16

COMMUNITY FROM TOOTHBRUSHES TO GARDENS LIZ KEEN

A

ustralian kids and students have the chance to win a recycled community garden set by diverting tens of thousands of oral care products from landfill, thanks to a recycling competition run by Colgate, Chemist Warehouse and TerraCycle.

Between 23 March and 31 October 2018, the Colgate Community Garden Challenge invites pre-, primary and secondary schools nationwide to collect all brands of oral care waste and send it to TerraCycle, who will give the waste a second life by creating new products.

Five recycled community garden sets will be awarded to five schools, with each set including three garden beds, two custom-made benches, one rubbish bin and one sign, plus a $500 gardening voucher to buy seeds and plants.

Besides showing how recycled materials can be used as a sustainable alternative to virgin plastic, Colgate, Chemist Warehouse and TerraCycle hope the sets will promote gardening and healthy eating among schools.

“Colgate is thrilled to partner with Chemist Warehouse and TerraCycle to give kids the opportunity to win a recycled community garden set while reducing landfill. We’re confident they’ll do an excellent job of showing Australia how oral care products can be recycled and given a second life,” said Mrs. Dillon, Colgate Vice President and General Manager of South Pacific.

“At Chemist Warehouse, we encourage Australians nationwide to be conscious of the environment and practice sustainable ways of living,” said Mr Tascone. “The Colgate Community Garden Challenge helps us achieve this by educating young people about the importance of recycling, upcycling and keeping as much waste out of landfill as possible.”

“At TerraCycle, we want to ‘Eliminate the Idea of Waste’ and a perfect place to start is with schools,” said Jean Bailliard, General Manager of TerraCycle Australia.

“Australian kids and young adults are the next environmental leaders, so we’re excited to see how much oral care waste they keep out of landfill.”

THE COMPETITION

The Colgate Community Garden Challenge will have five winners that will each win a recycled community garden set: three winners will be the schools that recycle the most oral care waste and earn the most online votes from the community; two winners will be drawn at random. By sending at least one shipment (minimum 2kg) of accepted oral care waste to TerraCycle, schools earn one entry into the draw to win a recycled community garden set.

Accepted oral care waste includes: toothpaste tubes and caps, toothbrushes, toothbrush and toothpaste tube outer packaging and floss containers.

Additionally, in monthly prize draws, schools will have the chance to win a pack of sixty upcycled pencil cases made from recycled toothpaste tubes – another example of how oral care waste can become a valuable new product.

Competition entry, rules and an interactive leaderboard can be found at www.terracycle.com.au/colgategarden.

17

WHAT’S ON IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN EVENT LISTED IN THIS COLUMN RING our office on 0418 934 850 Entries for non-profit entities are free.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - Glen Forrest Group Every Monday evening We meet at 7.00pm at the Glen Forrest Uniting Church, Mc Glew Rd, Glen Forrest.

Call Dermot 0488 905 211 or John 0448 074 536 or the Perth Office (all hours) 9325 3566.

AUSTRALIAN BREASTFEEDING ASSOC. Discussion groups, guest speakers, morning tea. Free breastfeeding counselling. Expectant mothers, mothers, babies and children welcome. National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2686 is a 24 hour 7 days a week service.

Swan/Mundaring Group meets every Monday, 9:30-11:30am at the Gumnuts Family Centre, 8 Mudalla Way, Koongamia. A qualified ABA counsellor is present at each meeting to give confidential information and support on breastfeeding issues. Contact Natalie 9572 4971.

Kalamunda Group meets fortnighly on a Thursday, 9:30-11:30am at the Maida Vale Baptist Church, Edney Road, High Wycombe. Contact Jenny 9252 1996.

Northam Group meets each second Tuesday of the month at the Bridgeley Community Centre, Wellington Street, Northam 10am to Noon.

Fourth Tuesday each month at Toodyay Playgroup, Stirling Terrace, Toodyay. Noon to 2pm. Please phone Louisa 9574 0229.

Christine Hogan: 9279 8778 for a chat and a cuppa.

Email: madtattersmorris@iinet.Net.Au We are considering extending our days Website: madtattersmorris.Myclub.Org.Au to include Saturdays or evenings if there is enough interest.

MUSTARD SEED COMPUTERS

-

DISCOVERING

Mustard Seed is a fifteen year old non-profit organisation and teaches all aspects of everyday computing. Ability levels from beginners onwards. Want help with Windows 10? In need of instruction with your Mac computer? Have an iPad or Android tablet and don’t know what it will do? We can help. Cost is $3 per session.

Classes are heldat 56 McGlew Road, Glen Forrest. To gain a place enrol now.

Phone 9299 7236 or 0478 604 163 or E: mustardcomputers@gmail.com W: noodlebytes.com

SWAN WOODTURNERS GROUP

The group meets in the rear hall of The Senior Citizens’ Centre, The Avenue, Midland, at 1-00pm. on 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Tuesday, and at 7-00pm. on 2nd Tuesday of each month. A demonstration and cuppa are the norm. Men and Women are welcome. Enquiries to Ted 9295 4438.

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE

Monday Mornings The Art Group meets at Baskerville Hall from 9am – 12pm for just $5.00 per session.

Group leader Gilly can help and advise with most media. Feel free to come and have a look and meet our local artists – they are THE HILLS CHOIR a very friendly lot, new members welcome!

Monday Evenings Do you enjoy singing and joining with For more information call 9296 1976 or others to make beautiful music? Come and enquiries@swanvalleycommunitycentre.com join the Hills Choir. We meet from 7.30 to www.swanvalleycommunitycentre.com 9.30pm at the Uniting Church on Stoneville SWAN HARMONY SINGERS Road, Mundaring.

Contact Margie on 9295 6103 for further Wednesdays Come and sing with us! Swan Harmony information.

Singers is a community choir that meets, 7-9pm, to sing music ranging from jazz ELLENBROOK COMMUNITY to pop, plus the occasional classic. No WEIGHT LOSS CLUB auditions. Join us at the Salvation Army Every Tuesday evening We meet from 6.45pm to 8.00pm at Church Hall, 371 Morrison Rd, (opposite the Woodlake Community Hall, Meeting Swan View Primary School), Swan View. room 1 Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Enquiries: call Anna on 9299 7249, or Chris Friendly support group at low cost. Male on 9298 9529 or 0435 062 728. and females of all ages welcome. Contact Shirley 9276 7938 shirleysardelich@aapt.

ELLENBROOK AND DISTRICT MENS net.au.

MORRIS DANCING

All welcome. It’s like bush dancing, with sticks and bells. It’s aerobic exercise and great fun!

Tuesdays 7-9pm practice, Guildford Town Hall, cnr James St and Meadow St, Guildford.

And drinks later at the Woodbridge Hotel with live Irish music For more information please contact:

SHED INC.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday We are open at 4 Transit Way Ellenbrook from 10.00am to 3.00pm. Potential members can turn up on those days and there will be someone to explain what we do and give membership details.

Annual fees are low and members can do their own thing, participate in projects for the community or simply just come in 18

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE MUSIC CLASSES

Tuesday mornings Learn to play tunes on piano or keyboard immediately – the SIMPLY MUSIC method.

Play songs, chords, blues and classical in small groups at a reasonable price. Call Heather 9296 4181 for more details.

HILLS CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP

1st Wednesday of each month Hilltop Grove Estate, 1645 Jacoby Street, Mahogany Creek. Morning tea provided, between 10.30 - 12.00 noon.

Enquiries Terina 9572 1655.

MIDLAND MEN’S SHED

Every Tuesday morning We meet socially every Tuesday morning from 9.30am to 11.30am in the Bellevue Baptist Church Hall and our usual attendance is around fifty-five. At least once a month we have a guest speaker on a range of topics.

We also go on excursions to various places of interest (e.g. HMAS Stirling, Aviation Museum, Fremantle Ports, ALCOA, etc.).

Our workshop with wood working and metal working is in Midvale and for the opening hours and further details please contact Rob Cutter on 0419 967 873.

Also in operation is our music group – the Rockin’ Shedders which is going from strength to strength and their repertoire of songs increases each week.

For more information on the Shed please contact Kevin Buckland on 0417 961 971 or by email to kebinsv@tpg.com.au.

EASTERN KNITTERS

DISTRICTS

MACHINE

Friday - second and fourth We meet from 9:00am to noon at 10 Brockman Road, Midland.

Feel welcome to join us for morning tea and see how easy it is to make your own garments.

For more information contact Pat 9309 3260; Liz 9572 7074 or Pat 9295 2793.

TALKING HORSES

Wednesday evenings 6:00pm The WA Horse Council equestrian radio program is now in its seventh year. The programme is broadcast on the Community Radio Station 91.3 SportFM. To ensure that your club, event, breed or business gets coverage, call Diane Bennit 0409 083 617.

FICTION THE UTE JOHN TAYLOR

CHAPTER 12 – THE HOMECOMING

blue haze, well outside of the city limits.

As Billy returned, feeling far better for the break, a call came through for him. Minnie was moving about the office, latching hortly the taxi turned into their street, hoping to find Janey on, instructing him to answer line three. It was Janey. Whatta awake: kids would be long gone asleep by now. After paying morning! Billy thought again. Seem to be thinking this thought a off the taxi, Billy found the house in darkness. lot lately, he mused.

Fumbling for the key where he thought he remembered He helloed to Janey, asked after the kids; thinking Mr Jones stashing it, fumbling the key and lock. In fact, Billy reckoned, looks as though I might have fumbled the whole deal. Janey and is waiting. Janey, realising Billy was under pressure, asked if they could meet up somewhere later. Very considerate of her the kids aren’t here. under the circumstances, still that’s life; mine, anyway.

Probably at bloody Auntie Pat’s! He mumbled savagely, Billy dreamed, while taking a phone number to ring this punching the answering machine play button, listening to his afternoon, when he was available. Billy returned to his meeting own voice droning on. Boring! He thought. Bloody boring. with Mr Jones whose demeanour had changed back to the He poured himself a decent slug of OP rum. Who cares? keeper of books, only a trace of the tracker in him now.

Nearly asleep anyway. He moved the wilting bunch of flowers Morning ploughed on, accounts, cart notes, invoices all across the table and slumped into a chair, head hovering close requiring signing of and filling: Minnie full time assembling and finally sleeping, head down on the kitchen table. and stacking fresh papers. Billy realised he had to broach the Part way waking sometime later he moved off to a idea with Mr Jones regarding his handling of the gulf job before comfortable, but lonely bed. Billy rose late, giving a start as something else cropped up. he realised the time, running quickly through the shower, Carefully clearing his throat and Mr Jones raising an reviewing mental notes of the journey, future clearly laid out enquiring eyebrow, Billy embarked on his plan. Basically, before him, for the present anyway: Must phone Janey.

She’ll be at Pat’s for sure; pulling up as he realised he had to leaving each station to their muster, with Gilbert overseeing his people on yard work and loading, Billy thinking of Fred and phone now. In fact, he should have phoned last night. He took his cows; with Gilbert on the draft but deleted all the political Pat’s number off the fridge and dialled, not believing his ears problems from his discussion, aware that Mr Jones was well and when Pat answered, politely saying, “Janey would prefer not to truly up to speed in this and many other areas. speak to you right now, but will call back, either at home or at Of course, Black Rock would have to be dealt with, possibly the office.” sacking the so-called manager and amalgamating with first And then she hung up! Billy couldn’t believe the ringing in Whellana and then with a string of properties heading further his ears. A storm was enveloping his brain. Prefer not to speak north: cattle being yarded and entrained constantly from Mount right now! What on earth could she mean? Flown eight hours in on a cramped mail plane from an outback saga unfolding bigger Barndon and sidings further north and as mustering goes from one to another this would require constant management. than Baz Luhrmann’s Australia and she can’t even talk to me!

Rod would probably be involved further north; as the Who else is she talking to then? Who? Billy demanded of himself, catching his reflection in the hall mirror, pulling up: Steady boy, steady now, it’ll be right. Better get down to the office and check on some more easily achievable objectives in life. Mr Jones and the Gulf business will be a walkover compared to this!

Mr Jones made himself available immediately Billy stepped into the office. “Heard on the bush telegraph you were on your way. Not so much heard, surmised and observed some subtle structural changes in management methods. Your thumbprint wasn’t there, Billy. The satellite phone”, Mr Jones added, “did you actually remove it from the box and charge the battery?

“Bottom line being, Billy”, he continued without waiting for an answer, “there is a decent mob coming down, but a lot more are required in the very near future. I gather politics in the gulf area may be more variable than elsewhere; nevertheless the stock must come down.

“And by the way, Mr Drummond sends his regards and best wishes to both you and Janey!” Mr Jones seemed to look straight through Billy at the last point. Billy was flummoxed, puffing for air, grasping at anything to escape, a toilet trip, anything; the room was roaring.

He excused himself with a ‘back soon’ to Mr Jones who was still gazing off in the middle distance. Don’t worry about the sat phones with him. This bloke knows everything, Billy thought, and what he doesn’t know comes in on the wind.

Billy bypassed the toilet out into the well-appointed poplar shaded courtyard. Billy took some deep breaths and sat back, taking it all in; back to his early life when his memory bank was uncluttered with this nonsense and barbed remarks.

Now, looking out over the wall, he was totally challenged by the city; or the bush. He eventually decided it was high time to mature, stood and imagined range and scrub rolling off into a

S

19

drought increased its hold, less business was happening in railhead towns.

Billy also spoke of payment incentives for contractors and employees that shouldered responsibilities beyond the norm, in some cases far beyond, Billy reckoned, thinking of himself, explaining, “With a few people thinking outside the square, Mr Jones, it will happen amicably and economically!”

The last word opened Mr Jones up like a little flower. All these words and only one word works, Billy grimaced.

Better not talk about sat phones right now. Let ‘em ride awhile. Hate to ruin the moment for the old bugger.

Whichever way politics fall, we’ll be loading and unloading those cattle for a good while yet. Billy reminding himself that he’d better ring Janey, and was wellaware that road trains had been booked to load tomorrow off rail for Glen Dolan.

Billy got straight through to Janey, and so he should; she’d taken on a job for three days a week as a receptionist.

“I’d actually prefer to be a camp cook, but I can’t afford time away, what with my responsibilities”, she added, a little sarcastically for Janey.

“I consider myself fine. Auntie Pat is having a great time helping with the kids. Maybe in a little while I’ll go back to our house, Billy. In the meantime, a telephone call from time to time would be nice, on this number, not on Auntie Pat’s and, Billy, definitely no unexpected visits. Must be off. There’s calls waiting”, and promptly hung up.

Billy was flattened, right up against the wall, sliding down like a fried egg cartoon character, pegged out on the floor drying. A very hollow feeling settled in his guts. Whatta day!

This ain’t how old mate Baz depicts it. Think I prefer his version.

One set I’m out there playing Batman and Robin with Superman for lunch, next I’m out to it. KO’d in the first quarter; folded up like a half-closed pocket knife.

Just enough energy left for a drink; Billy steered himself into the first pub down from the office. Thank Christ I’ve got the bush.

How’d you like to be just finished work Friday with this on your mind? Mightn’t make it Monday, may hang out like an old piker in a thicket, rest of my life, tipping a decent nip of high octane back, enjoying the fizz, thinking of tomorrow just a bit, thinking mainly of tonight.

Billy ended up catching a cab home. Could remember the drive, bailed out at the corner, paid up and, God knows how, found the key. A little after daylight, not proper Billy time, he roused, fumbled round the bed, knew he was alone, but there you are, collapsed in a heap for a while longer, and then the phone rang.

The bloody phone! Immediately thinking, It’s Janey; wants me to come over, course she wants me over. The brain was scrambling; couldn’t find the phone, and it rang, rang out and rang again. By now Billy’s brain was cartwheeling amongst the trees, climbing and diving. Found it, pressed answer, gabbled a bit of talk.

Realisation dawned with, “It’s not Janey calling, Billy.

It’s Harry. How are you?” Harry asked in his cultured tones.

“Is Janey well? I believe you have been busy and have had a measure of success in the gulf. Mr Jones says you have a plan.

May we meet for an early lunch?”

Billy, of course, agreed, settling on The Royal at noon. “Call by the office, or noon at the Royal, either way”, Harry offered and hung up. Better get myself into gear, Billy reckoned. Cattle coming in; I’m sure Mr Jones and the old boys will handle ‘em, that is, until something goes pear shaped and it turns into an overnighter and then with more on the road? Come, Billy boy, hook in; make it happen! “ Seems strange to be starting with a counter lunch; never 20

heard of old Bob having one; never heard of him going into a pub or having a drink for that matter. Well, perhaps to get Kev out. Look at that mob he employed. No wonder he didn’t drink.

As Billy reminisced on the good times, even Clydey and his patches seemed good. Come on, he reminded himself again.

Get into gear! Get down the office and make it happen. He was dragging his feet, leaving home, hair wet down and combed, clothes, though clean, lacked a feeling of being owned, hanging about at the ankles, sagging a bit at the belly, baggy arsed, a frayed pocket. Wouldn’t pass muster with Mr Drummond.

Ah, well, he made it eventually, dragging truant feet. The office was busy. Mind you, Billy thought. It is 10 am. Billy was a celebrity, popularity plus at the office, which sparked him up a bit, Mr Jones and Harry suffered between celebrity and loser.

They alone were aware of the full magnitude of the job and the need to have Billy and people of his calibre involved in a project of this nature. This operation, being so large and spread over a fair portion of Australia, tended to magnify the problem.

Harry ushered Billy into his office. Minnie was nearly swooning in the outer offices. She now obviously adored the boy. Harry had commented to Mr Jones some time back, asking him to keep an eye out, and report any progress. “Office romances always caused trouble, Mr Jones, as you’re well aware!”

Harry immediately packed up papers and reports, returning some to a wall safe, delegating other piles to a bin and in and out trays, then a brief call to Mr Jones and reception. Billy gazed absently out of the window, oblivious of office activities, sat phones, romance: in fact, the whole damn thing washed over and around him and there he stood, out to an early lunch.

The backdoor of Harry’s office led out through the lunch room and courtyard to the car park, a shady little recluse with private access. Harry’s luxury four-wheel drive burned the Ks rolling along beautifully, out through town to the hills.

Billy was enjoying the drive, climate control blowing perfect cool air, unconcerned as to their destination, he realised the Royal was not on the menu today. Harry pulled into a winery restaurant, down a winding track off the main road. The dining room overlooked a beautiful vista of valley, river and vineyards.

Waitresses folding starched linen, stacking expensive wine racks, for today’s custom. Harry picked up a wine list and ordered, Billy noticed, off the top shelf. What a sensation as the wine worked its way round his mind and body, kicking back on the first course sipping wine, never so much as topping his glass.

Food followed wine followed talk and listening; life rolled over and righted itself. Harry’s craggy countenance took on a near ethereal look as early afternoon sun streamed through.

The two men moved on through the afternoon, sipping wine, tucking into many courses of food.

Relaxing into a discourse on methods and experiences from city to outback, Billy related a story based on his journey with

Sienna, names, places and possible illegal activities blanked; to protect the who? Billy thought. Who’s the innocent?

Harry introduced a fair amount of crystal clear drinking water to lunch, topping up often, moving the afternoon along with a reasonable amount of sobriety and a lot of finesse, enquiring after Janey, whom Billy could honestly say was happy.

Harry lingering not moment longer on this subject other than to say that Margaret would be pleased to see her sometime soon and would enjoy a shopping trip.

The men had touched on the muster, commenting on road train loads of stock arriving.

All seemed in order when Harry quietly added, “You know, Billy, there’s a lot hanging in in the balance here. For instance, this restaurant, strictly between us, belongs lock stock and barrel to Drummond Pastoral, under nominee licence of course, but nevertheless owned outright. This property and many others are balancing the book on the gulf life and, Billy, I’m saying that every beast that can endure the journey should take it!”

Harry lifted his glass at this stage, toasting “The Gulf!” Billy half mesmerised by this performance, the food, alcohol and wonderful ambience of the restaurant and surrounds, tipped his glass, his mind part way out bush already, clinking crystal clinched the deal.

Moving back into town through late afternoon traffic they had time to continue discussing the business to date and into the future. Billy offered a wish list, touching on the satellite phones, employees, managerial and other, which were all well received.

Harry, liking the sound of Billy’s descriptions of Gilbert and his team, thanked Billy for securing such an important contact. As he had mentioned some time back he liked the idea of mobile plant, in fact, believed it to be the only way to operate economically.

“Mr Jones would like that word”, Billy chuckled. They called at Billy’s home, grabbed his boots and his still packed bag from the last trip. Plenty good enough for where I’m going.

Spare swag from the shed, some writing paper, a pen and off with Harry to Hillview, Billy brimming with interesting ideas formed during the late afternoon. With quite a spring back in his demeanour, Billy indicated the hangar as they turned on Hillview Drive.

“Plan to camp understand, check the night out for visibility and kick off in the early hours for Glen Dolan”, he explained, Harry nodding in assent. Billy started a letter; partway down he threw that away and started another.

One of his ideas this afternoon was to write to Janey, but, of course, the letter had to work and after his experiences this afternoon with Harry, Billy realised he was on the right track, but there were some rocky stages to ever so discreetly overcome. He had to complete this massive cattle transfer on his own.

Then there’d be a time and place for Janey and the twins. He was nodding off at the hangar lunch room table, having tried to bolster himself with coffee and then experiencing an inspirational drought in relation to the letter; a mental block: So many things to say; too easy to say things that do not mesh smoothly.

Clashing mental gears, stripping cogs may even make things impossible to rebuild. Billy dashed these thoughts from his mind and threw his swag out on the hangar floor; the problem of Janey would just have to wait.

A quick pre-flight on Harry’s spare plane and get some sleep, he reckoned.

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POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT

n old station hand named Billy was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-highresolution photo.

The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .....

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hitech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.

He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up and stuffs it into the boot of his car.

As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"

The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."

"You're a politician and you work in Canberra." says the old timer.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.

This is a herd of sheep.

“Now give me back my dog."

And that folks ,is what the problem is all about.

End of Chapter Twelve Living and working under the harsh but strangely beautiful conditions of the Australian bush, JT (as he is known to his closest friends and readers) appreciates the spirit of those hardy souls that have survived the modern challenge.

If you would like to read the whole novel, it can be purchased as either an epub for kindle or iPad. Go to John’s website - www. poetdownunder.com or www.lulu.com/shop/john-taylor/the-ute/ ebook/product-22566720.html or on the Apple store www.itunes.apple.com/au/book/the-ute/id1086709294?mt=11 21

THE IDLER The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Mind

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SCULPTURE

BY THE SEA 2018

keeping the iconic Cottesloe Beach pylon company; • In Rainbows by Duncan Stemler is reminiscent of a glam backyard Hills Hoist as it spins around creating rainbows;

• And then there’s Sly Village by Sherry Paddon, well who wouldn’t want a tent made out of soft teddies.

Over the years the organisers have added additional elements GLENNYS MARSDON to the exhibition such as: the Artists Talks program; the Alcoa Schools Education Program; and the ECU Hands-on learning initiative for Visual Arts students.

There are also special opportunities for Amana Living residents, plus a Disadvantaged Communities Tour, which last year saw 119 people from diverse backgrounds such as Sudanese, Ethiopian, Iraqi, Iranian, Taiwanese, Chinese, Burmese,

s usual the end of summer will see Cottesloe Beach transformed into an outdoor gallery with some 200,000 people checking out Sculpture by the Sea, Cottesloe.

Make that 200,001 as I was amongst the first day crowd.

Now in its fourteenth year Sculptures by the Sea, Cottesloe will see seventyseven artists from eighteen countries present seventy-three pieces.

This year twenty-eight WA artists, fifteen interstate and thirty-three international artists took up the challenge. It’s always hard to decide on a favourite but some stand outs for me were: • The blown-up head of Damien Hirst Looking For Sharks by Danger Dave and Christian Rager. This one is proving to be a front runner for People’s Choice; • Waiting In The Wings by Denise Pepper

Singaporean and Malaysian visit the exhibition.

Another great initiative, Beach Access Days, has been made possible by a three year partnership with Lotterywest. On these days special matting allows people with limited mobility or using wheelchairs to get down to the sculptures on the sand.

There’s also a free Tactile Tour with experienced guides; Auslan-interpreted Artist Talks and tours for seniors and visitor with dementia.

The pieces included in the tour have been nominated by artists and organisers as being safe to touch and in accessible areas.

Visitors can book a Tactile Tour or Auslan-interpreted Artist Talk online at www. sculpturebythesea.com.

Beach Access Days run from 10am to 7 pm on March 14 and 15 this year. The funding also allows the Access & Inclusion program to continue to provide a large print exhibition catalogue for visitors with low vision to borrow from the Exhibition Catalogue marquees, a temporary accessible toilet and a wide access ramp to Sculpture Inside, a free indoor exhibition of small sculpture.

“We are greatly relieved to receive this funding from

allows every little boy and girl to be an angel for a moment; • Floating Rock, by acclaimed Chinese artist Zhan Wang will be 22

Lotterywest without which we could not have afforded to continue to offer these services to people with disability and their carers,” said David Handley AM, Founding Director of Sculpture by the Sea. “It is such a wonderful program and we would like to thank Lotterywest for its support. In particular I would like to thank everyone who encouraged us to create these programs and to invite people to register for a tour or to visit on the beach wheelchair access days.”

As you wonder around the exhibition it’s good to remember that the artists pay to transport their pieces to the beach.

Thankfully the Australian Council provides some funding for this, however they still need your help.

This year the sculptures have travelled nearly 320,000 miles to get here. You can help the artists with their travel costs through a $1 donation to the ‘Buy A Mile’ initiative.

Thanks to all the organisers, volunteers and donating organisations such as Alcoa, RioTinto, Crown Resorts, Packer Family Foundation, Australia Council for the Arts, the Town of Cottesloe and Government of WA for making sure this event continues every year.

If you do make it down to the beach and enjoy this FREE exhibition please, please, please make sure you throw some money into one of the buckets or ‘Buy A Mile’ to help out the artists.

For full list of exhibiting artists, please visit: http:// sculpturebythesea.com/cottesloe/exhibiting-artists/ Sculpture by the Sea, Cottesloe ran to March 19th.

All photographs courtesy of and copyrighted to The Ponder Room

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Sir: Paul Keating is wrong. He is wrong when he says that Prince Charles wants Australia to become a republic. He is wrong when he says Australia cannot be great when it “borrows the monarch of Great Britain.” (The Australian April 2, 2018) Australia became a ‘great’ nation, one to which people from throughout the world have lined up to become a part of, because of our Constitution under the Crown which has ensured that this country has had an unparalleled stability and security and thereby economic prosperity for well over a hundred years.

Paul Keating was the one who kickstarted the republic when he was prime minister in the 1990s but he never had the guts to take the issue to the people. He only sniped from the sidelines just as he has today sniped from the sidelines.

A fundamental reason why our Australian Constitution has the Queen - and eventually Prince Charles - as our sovereign head is to block politicians like Paul Keating from assuming total power.

Likewise our Constitution requires a vote of the people before one word of it can be changed. That is also to block politicians from assuming more power than they already have.

Republicans claim that the Prince of Wales is remote from the people. We will see, during this visit, how popular he is with and how interested he is in our people The only reason why many Australians do not know much about him personally is because the media rarely talks about the good works he does, how he raises more money for charitable causes than anyone else in the world and how the work of his Prince’s Trust benefits so many in Australia. Many seem to rather prefer broadcasting misinformation and salacious gossip.

Paul Keating, on the other hand, is virtually unheard of other than by a few and then only for his outrageous comments. His history is as being one of the most divisive politician ever known.

The proof is in the pudding. The crowds will come out to greet the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall as opposed to the crowd that never come out to welcome politicians, Paul Keating included.

Philip Benwell National Chair Australian Monarchist League Dear sir, If all the big corporations took all the money they spend on tax accountants and lawyers for the purpose of avoiding tax and gave it to the Australian government instead, think how much better off we would be.

Tony Jackson Rockingham

If you would like to receive a free copy of the Swan Magazine sent to you electronically and save a tree’s life, send an email to: editor@swanmagazine.com.au with ‘Subscribe’ in the subject line.

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SPORT PERTH SUMMER LEAGUE 2017/18 SEASON WRAP CHRIS MCRAE

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he Wheat Kings have taken out the 2017/18 Perth Summer League Ice Hockey Championship, their fourth title in four seasons. We take a look back at the Summer League competition and reflect on what was a thrilling Season 2017/18.

Into its seventh year, Perth Summer League Ice Hockey has expanded from its humble origins to now boasting a seven team competition featuring over 120 players of all ability levels. The fantastic thing about the league is that it allows players with little experience to play on the same team as those who have represented the state in the Australian Ice Hockey League or even the country in World Championships.

This year, the league was at it’s most competitive with seven teams (Wheat Kings, Outlaws, Wolves, Moose, Elk, Grizzlords and Crusaders) vying for the Ron Thomas Memorial Cup and Summer League glory.

The Wheat Kings began Season 2017/18 as the ones to beat with three straight Summer League championships to their names and a target on their backs. The seven captains were selected as:

- Wheat Kings: Liam Jeffries (Perth Thunder 2011-2017, Australian National Representative) - Outlaws: David Kudla (Perth Thunder 2011-Present, Australian National Representative) - Elk: Andrew Cox (Perth Thunder 2011-Present, New Zealand National Representative) - Grizzlords: Sam Wilson (Perth Thunder 2011-2017, Australian National Representative) - Moose: Per Daniel Goransson (Perth Thunder 2015-2017, CBR Brave 2018, Australian National Representative) - Wolves: Luke Foster (English ‘Iron League’ Division 1 Player and Champion with Sydney Hammerheads for City of Angels Open Division Tournament) - Crusaders: Elliot Duguay (Premier League Player and 24

Champion with Sydney Hammerheads for City of Angels Open Division Tournament) At the conclusion of the Summer League Draft, a night of much plotting, scheming and captains trying to outwit and outdraft each other, the season began in mid October at Perth Ice Arena in Malaga.

The Crusaders, absent from the competition since 2014 began their season with a statement, beating the Wheat Kings in the opening game of the season.

All teams looked on relatively even footing in the first couple of weeks however it was Luke Foster’s Wolves and Andrew Cox’s Elk who made the early statements, surging to the top of the standings in the early stages. Reigning champions the Wheat Kings slumped to a 0-6 start to the season which saw them at the bottom of the standings for some time.

As the season settled, David Kudla’s Outlaws began to make their move, notching up win after win and soon moving to the top of the league standings. The Moose struggled to make an impact before the Christmas break and were battling to stay off the bottom of the standings alongside the Crusaders.

The Elk and Grizzlords remained in the middle of the pack whilst the Wheat Kings began to find form after a less than desireable start to the season and found themselves in third place just behind the Wolves as the Christmas break approached.

After a break filled with good food, beer and plenty of merriment, the players returned to the ice for the second half of the season in early January as the push to the March playoffs began.

The Outlaws seemed tough to beat, cementing their place at the top of the standings, whilst the Wheat Kings notched a string of wins together in January to move into second place.

The Wolves unfortunately played much of the summer months without some key players, slipping down the standings which

allowed the Grizzlords and Elk to make their moves.

For the Moose, captain Per Daniel Goransson made the move to Canberra early in the year to prepare for his Australian Ice Hockey League season with the CBR Brave. Stand in captain Richie Lamb took the reigns and reshuffled the team. With some key additions including Perth Thunder forwards Jonathan Bremner and Ben Breault, the Moose strung some wins together. The Crusaders notched up some points and the season became interesting.

As the March playoffs approached, the Wheat Kings took top spot in the standings and, along with the Outlaws, Grizzlords and Elk, clinched a playoffs berth. It came down to the last couple of games of the season to decide the final playoff spots. With a late surge and a handful of wins in the final weeks, the Moose finished fifth and the Wolves nabbed sixth, knocking the Crusaders out of playoff contention.

The regulation standings at the end of the season were: 1st- Wheat Kings (47 pts), 2nd- Outlaws (41 pts), 3rdGrizzlords (37 pts), 4th- Elk (31 pts), 5th- Moose (28 pts), 6th- Wolves (26 pts) and 7thCrusaders (22 pts) As mid March rolled around, the Playoffs were set with the Wheat Kings and Outlaws gaining a bye straight to the Semi Finals. The Elk battled the Grizzlords and the Wolves took on the Moose in the first round of the playoffs. In a hotly anticipated Elimination Final, the Wolves took an 8-5 win, ending the cup dream for the Moose. The Grizzlords and Elk battled it out in the Qualifying Final with the winner

moving straight through to a Semi Final series against the Outlaws. A tight game saw the Grizzlords take a 7-6 victory, sending the Elk to a sudden death match up with the Wolves.

A masterclass from Elk captain Andrew Cox saw the Elk take a 7-4 win against the Wolves, locking in their Semi Final match up with the Wheat Kings.

Much in the same way as the North American and Canadian based National Hockey League, the finals took place in the form of series’. The Semi Finals were best-of-three matchs up with the Outlaws taking on the Grizzlords and the Wheat Kings battling the Elk. Showing just why they finished first and second respectively, the Wheat Kings and Outlaws both swept their Semi Finals two games to nil, setting up a hotly anticipated match up in the Final.

The best of five final kicked off with the Wheat Kings shooting for a fourth cup in a row and the Outlaws aiming for their first.

The Outlaws notched up the early advantage with a strong display in Game 1. David and Simon Kudla led the way, leading the Outlaws to a big 9-2 win and a one game series lead. The following night, the Wheat Kings responded with authority with captain Liam Jeffries leading the boys in yellow to a 9-3 victory to square things away at one game apiece.

The following Sunday, a fiery Game 3 saw the Outlaws make a fast start, taking a 3-0 lead early. The Wheat Kings did not lie down however and piled on the goals from the second period onwards, eventually taking a big come from behind victory 6-4 to lead the series 2-1.

With all to play for, another tight match up in Game 4 resulted in a thrilling final two minutes with Wheat Kings captain Liam Jeffries scoring a late goal to give the Kings a 6-5 win, leading them to their fourth championship in four seasons!

As the players now look to their various winter leagues and competitions, Perth Summer League is set to be bigger and better in 2018/19, with all teams looking to knock the Wheat Kings off their perch and make it the most competitive season yet.

Game on!

All photography vourtesy of Corey Lunt Photography 25

ENTERTAINMENT THE RETURN AT KADS DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

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thug and his junior partner in crime take a late night train from Perth to Fremantle, menacing passengers along the way.

For an hour they own the train.

Riding the uneasy line between comedy and terror, The Return is a tautly-written study in peer pressure, anxiety and suppressed violence in a social class which is often silenced.

Reg Cribb started out life as a musician and an actor. He graduated from NIDA in 1990 and acted on Australian TV - in Home and Away, G.P., A Country Practice and Police Rescue as well as in the film A Country Life.

In 1999 he wrote his first performed play Night of the Sea Monkey, followed two years later with The Return which he was inspired to write after he witnessed two thugs harassing an attractive woman on a

The cast of The Return

Midland to Fremantle train, and what he has written is a richly layered, dramatic story with several themes.

The Return, since it was first produced has been an immediate hit all By arrangement with the author over the world Directed by: Brittany Isaia and has won many awards. Reg Cribb: At The Town Square Theatre “One reviewer called it a “good oldfashioned” thriller.

I would call Agatha Christie’s plays By good old-fashioned thrillers - they don’t tend to dwell on moral complexities.”

The Return has been filmed as Last Train to Freo and performed many times. This is Kads next production, directed by Brittany Isaia, one of the Director Brittany Isaia hugely talented Isaia acting family.

This is her first foray into direction, although she has trod the boards as actor, singer and song-writer many times.

She has been fortunate enough to attract a strong cast for the Kads production - Cameron Leese, Steven Ozanne, Jade Gurney, Alexandra Marie and Matthias Pesch.

The Return runs from April the 27th until May12th at Wed Thurs Fri Sat Sun Tickets: Adults $20.00 the Town Square Theater, Central Mall, Kalamunda at 8:00pm April 27 28 29* Conc $17.00 May 2 4 5 6* Fish & Chip Night $30.00 (2:00pm for matineés).

9 11 12 Booking www.whatson.com.au

Tickets cost $20 for adults, $17 for Concession and the Curtain Up 8:00pm ~ *Matinées 2:00pm Group Bookings Linda Murray 0448 779 891 Fish and Chip Supper - May 5th Fish and Chip Night is the 5th of May ($30 - no concessions) and can be obtained by ringing Linda on 0448 779 891 or on the April 27th to May 12th, 2018 What’s On website: www.whatson.com.au.

THE RETURN Reg Cribb

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ENTERTAINMENT ‘ALLO ‘ALLO AT STIRLING BOB CHARTERIS

B

ased on the hugely successful British television series that ran for seven seasons, this uproarious comedy relates the adventures of a hapless cafe owner, Rene, in occupied France.

You can see all your favourite TV characters in the flesh, including Rene's tone-deaf wife Edith, Major-General von Klinkerhoffen and the Gestapo officer Herr Flick!

Rene and his wife have stashed a priceless portrait stolen by the Nazis in a sausage in their cellar, where two British airmen are also hiding until the Resistance can repatriate them.

Communications with London using the wireless that is disguised as a cockatoo add to the many embarrassments this intrepid proprietor endures in the company of his patrons.

News that the Fuhrer is scheduled to visit the town inspires tricksters disguised as Hitler to frequent the cafe. Meanwhile Rene summons all the wit he can muster to save his cafe and his life.

The script is a 1992 stage play by the original writers David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd, which ran at the London Palladium.

Ed O’Driscoll, the producer, said “‘Allo ’Allo has proved to be a natural progression and it’s proving to be a lot of fun.”

It is hilarious but patrons are advised that it is adult humour.

Director Andrew Watson has extensive directing experience: 1990 to 1992 Sydney, Box Theatre, One Flew Over Cuckoo’s Nest and various other small plays; 1994 Victoria, Nhill Theater Club, Beyond a Joke; 1995 to 1999 Kaff Theatre Group, developed directing courses, completed approximately sixteen short plays over the period directing and acting; 2001 Professional play SEX, directed, acted and performed at Rechabites Theatre, Subiaco Theatre.

Andrew stepped away from directing to work on acting for following fifteen years. In 2016 he helped with Dolls from the Sky and was asked by author Yvette Wall to direct her play Please Sit on My Throne for the one-act season at Stirling Theatre in 2017.

This was Andrew’s first time directing for Stirling Players and the play was also entered in the Hillsfest one-act festival at

Marloo Theatre where it won the Best Actress award.

‘Allo ‘Allo runs from April 27 until May 12th at Stirling Thetre, Morris Place, Innaloo.

Ticksts cost $22, ($20 conc) and are obtainable from Morris Newsagency on 9446 9120 and online at trybooking.com/TWTW.

present in association with ORiGiN TM THEATRICALS

The hilarious stage production of the TV cult classic comedy

Stirling Theatre Morris Place, Innaloo April/May, 2018

Contains adult themes

Written by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft Directed by Andrew Watson

Tickets: $22 full $20 conc. $18 members

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Playing dates: April 27, 28 May 3, 4, 5, 10, 11, 12 at 8pm.

Matinees : April 29, May 6 at 2pm.

Bookings open March 19 Morris News 9446 9120 or trybooking.com/ TWTW

TV WITH CHRIS A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS Reviewer: Chris McRae

I

f you are reading this review, I suggest you stop now. Misery and despair is abound in Season 2 of Netflix’s revival of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

If you are unfamiliar with Lemony Snicket’s dark and dreary story, the series is based on the series of children’s books of the same name which follows the three Baudelaire orphans and their unfortunate encounters with a seemingly endless series of quirky and unusual guardians whilst being thrust into one dreary situation after the other.

Season One captured the absurdist, gothic and darkly humourous nature of Snicket’s books perfectly and Season Two is no different.

We pick up where we left off with Violet (Malina Weissman), Klaus (Louis Hynes) and Sunny (Presley Smith) preparing to face another dire epiosde in their miserable lives, this time at Prufrock Preparatory School in The Austere Academy.

The Baudelaires are still being relentlessly pursued by the notorious Count Olaf (Neil Patrick Harris) who dons all manner of ridiculous disguises and fools the clueless adults in the story time and time again.

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One unfortunate event after another leads them from Prufrock Prep to an exclusive Penthouse with a mysteriously missing elevator in The Ersatz Elevator, a crow-infested Village with a thousand rules in The Vile Village, a terrifyingly dank and dreary hospital in The Hostile Hospital and finally to a macabre circus in The Carnivorous Carnival.

This season of A Series of Unfortunate Events introduces us to a whole new array of colourful and delightfully cruel characters with Roger Bart as the ego driven, violin playing Vice Principal Nero, Lucy Punch as Count Olaf’s love interest Esme Squalor and Kitana Turnbull as the teeth-grindingly annoying Carmelita Spats.

Alongside the treachery, a ray of light comes in the form of Nathan Fillion as Jaques Snicket and Sara Rue as Olivia Caliban, who will do anything to assist the children, capture Count Olaf and discover more about the Secret Organisation that the Baudelaire parents belonged to prior to their demise.

The Baudelaires also make their first friends in the form of Duncan and Isadora Quagmire.

In the vein of absurdist theatre which never resolves and finds characters in an endless cycle of highly exaggerated situations, A Series of Unfortunate Events sends the Baudelaires into one horrific situation after another where they themselves are more intelligent than the clueless adults.

The set up is just as good if not better than Season One with Patrick Warburton’s deadpan narration as Lemony Snicket paving the way for the misery. Neil Patrick Harris once again relishes the role of Count Olaf, with his theatrical and musical background making for some memorable characters, accents and musical moments. Lucy Punch is an excellent addition as the vicious Esme Squalor, complementing the evil nature of Count Olaf perfectly.

The production design of the series is though it has been lifted straight from the pages of Snicket’s books. Everything is tinged with a grey hue and looks as though a storm has blown through it with dank and sinister school classrooms and hospital rooms dripping with mould and sparking with electricity to derelict Western-style saloons and wooden shacks that would collapse with the slightest touch.

This adds to the endless misery of the situations the Baudelaires are thrust into. This series is, at times, not for the faint hearted. Yes, the stories are written

as black humour for younger audiences, but the episode set ups can be quite intense. The Hostile Hospital in particular is quite confronting with surgical instruments, gas masks and more making for a terrifyingly tense situation.

More geared towards those who grew up reading the books in the early 2000’s rather than children now, A Series of Unfortunate Events is everything the books strived for and more. Dark, sinister with some delightfully wicked performances and highly entertaining.

All episodes of A Series of Unfortunate Events Season Two are now streaming on Netflix.

RISE Reviewer:

Chris McRae

I

n 2009, the toe tapping musical hit Glee took the television world by storm, bringing musical theatre to a whole new audience and building an awareness for the importance of the Arts in schools.

As a budding Arts educator myself, I was thrilled and hooked, as were many teenagers and young adults alike. Now, nearly a decade on, I find myself as a Performing Arts teacher of eight years and just as passionate, if not more, about the importance and impact of the Arts in our schools.

Enter NBC’s latest Drama Rise which comes from the creators of the superb Friday Night Lights. It follows English teacher Lou Mazzuchelli (How I Met Your Mother’s Josh Radnor) who is going through the motions and battling to get students at the working class Stanton High School passionate about literature.

In a move to re-invent his passion for teaching, Lou takes on the school’s Theatre program with the aim of re-inventing it and turning the tables on the traditional and tired formulas of productions such as Grease or Pirates of Penzance year after year. Lou immediately shakes things up by choosing the edgy and controversial Spring Awakening as the show, casting unknown Lilette Suarez (Moana’s Auli’i Cravalho) in the lead and putting school football legend Robbie Thorne (Damon J. Gillespie) opposite her on stage. Immediately, things are shaken up as Lou must fight to keep his kids and his program as a mini revolution builds around him.

First things first, Rise is not Glee. It focuses more on the relationships and messages rather than the music as the driving force for its drama and impact. It is also highly relevant, with themes such as transgender students, equality, youth alcoholism and sexuality in the spotlight.

Josh Radnor

Hence, it is appropriate that the students in Rise tackle the contoversial Spring Awakening in their theatre classes, a highly regarded musical about coming of age and sexual awakening.

After demonstrating his comic talent across nine seasons of How I Met Your Mother, Josh Radnor trades laughs for dramatic chops and creates an intense and relateable character in Lou Mazzuchelli.

Not only is he a passionate educator with a real connection to his students, he is also a father who must deal with his son’s mental health issues as well as an internal battle with the school’s football coach Sam Strickland (Joe Tippett).

The show itself is littered with a huge amount of young talent, driven by Damon J. Gillespie and Auli’i Cravalho who both shine and create a believable and at times heartbreaking couple.

Also excellent are Ted Sutherland as Simon, a young boy from a religious upbringing who must come to terms with playing a gay character along with Casey Johnson who plays the alcoholic Gordy Mazzuchelli and Ellie Desautels who plays the transgender Michael Hallowell.

Rise has the ability to challenge as well as uplift and inspire. It is a show which celebrates the power of the Arts and being able to express yourself in ways you never thought possible.

Rise streams with a new episode weekly on Stan.

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FILM REVIEWS THE DEATH OF STALIN A Comedy of Terrors Reviewer: James Forte

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f ever there was anyone who could be considered more evil than Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin would be a prime contender. It was the good fortune of the rest of the world that the two hated each other so much and spent their energy and resources fighting each other.

Horrifically, it resulted in the deaths of many millions. Stalin lived a further eight years after Hitler and when he died, in 1953, the world cheered. Except for the Soviet Union. There the people feared that they were about to get someone even worse. And that is the subject of this film: the struggle for power as Stalin lay dying in his dacha.

The Death of Stalin is the blackest of black comedies.

The format is taken from an adult comic book by Fabien Nury and Thierry Robin. The tone of the film is set in the opening scene. A Mozart piano concerto is being broadcast live from a Moscow concert hall.

A telephone call – Comrade Stalin would like a recording of it. There is panic and terror because the performance is not being recorded. It is the Siberian gulag for twenty years if the producer is lucky and being shot next day if he is not. The only option is to drag orchestra, soloist and audience back into the hall and do it all over again. Except that the conductor can’t do it and the pianist won’t.

This brilliant British film, not surprisingly, has been banned in Russia. It is directed by Scottish satirist Armando Iannucci who produced that assault on British politics, The Thick of It, where Peter Capaldi was the spin doctor who ran Britain screaming profanities in every sentence.

Although there are a few historical inaccuracies, accepted by most critics as artistic license, the portrayal of the participants is credible. Most of the struggle is between Khrushchev (played by Steve Buscemi) and Beria (Simon Beale) as head of the NKVD secret police (a very fat version of J. Edgar Hoover, who has the dirt on everyone).

Each night Beria produces lists of people to be taken in for questioning and torture. There is fine support from Jeffrey Tambor as Malenkov, Michael Palin as Molotov and Jason Isaacs as General Zhukov - who struts around uttering phrases like: “I took Germany, I can take this rabble”.

No knowledge of modern Russian history is necessary - the action is self-explanatory. However for a full enjoyment (is that the right word?) of their predicament, a quick read of the Stalin era on Wikipedia before viewing would help. For example, after having his music criticized by Stalin, the composer Shostakovich really did sleep in his hallway with a packed suitcase expecting immediate arrest.

As the credits roll we see pictures of the actual people many with their faces erased as they are rubbed out of the history of the Soviet Union.

Four stars.

The Death of Stalin opened at Luna Cinemas on the 29th March.

THE SHAPE OF WATER Aquatic Fantasy Reviewer: James Forte

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s I left the cinema, I mused about just how hard a task the marketing people had - trying to design a flyer and a trailer which would capture the essence of this film. It is a truly imaginative piece of storytelling.

Bravo to Guillermo del Toro who wrote the story and the screenplay. He then went on to produce and direct it. For me, it was refreshing to get away from the standard movie offerings of dysfunctional family, teenage angst or war dramas.

Del Toro is probably best known for Pan’s Labrynth (2006), another award-winning film which defied conventions. Not that The Shape of Water is formulafree. Here we have several genres straight out of the 1950s - but with treatments which turn them through 180 degrees.

There is a monster which is straight out of

Creature from the Black Lagoon – but here it is a noble animal with benevolent intent. There is an American top-secret research laboratory developing weapons for the cold war – except that the G-men who run it are as sinister as they come.

And the Russian spy is heroic.

The main character is Elisa Esposito – a mute girl who is the lowest of the low – a cleaner in the laboratory. Grease, vomit, blood and urine are all in a day’s work for Elisa. (In an excellent piece of casting, Del Toro avoided the Hollywood beauties and opted for English Shakespearean actress Sally Hawkins.)

And, of course, she is treated as scum by Colonel Richard Strickland, the project director. He is played in a truly evil manner by Michael Shannon. His 30

FILM REVIEWS favourite scientific tool is an electric cattle prod. However, his inability to read her sign language enables her to get under the radar and visit the amphibious-monster chained up in the water tank. Soon Elisa and the creature are in close communication.

The award winning musical score by Alexandre Desplat is serenely aquatic and the visual effects are stunning (coloured drops of water sliding over glass). The slower pace is more European than American and I found it perfect for the story.

The film has acquired a heap of awards – not least four Academy Awards for: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Score and Best Production Design. Sally Hawkins was nominated for Best Actress – and she would have got it too in a normal year – this time she was up against Frances McDormand and Merryl Street in two other outstanding roles.

This is a must-see picture for anyone interested in where the art-form is going. Highly entertaining and thought provoking.

My verdict: four and a half stars.

The Shape of Water is currently showing at Luna Cinemas.

one of history’s most infamous leaders may not seem like the right subject matter for satire. However, this is exactly what Director Armando Iannucci has done with his brilliantly black The Death of Stalin.

Set in 1953, the year of Stalin’s death in Moscow, this frenetic historical satire follows the fear and chaos that ensues amoungst the Council of Comrades when their great leader suddenly collapses and dies. The power falls to Georgy Malenkov (Jeffrey Tambour), a cluless narcissist who’s indecisiveness is just as problematic as his hairstyle.

He is backed by a ragtag bunch of ministers who, in this interpretation, seem to be taken directly from Fawlty Towers or a Monty Python skit. Lavrenti Beria (Simon Russell Beale), Nikita Khrushchev (Steve Buscemi) and Vyacheslav Molotov (Michael Palin) led by blind panic and a thirst for power, fumble their way through cabinet meetings, important decisions and funeral arrangements, all set against the backdrop of one of history’s most violent and terrifying regimes.

The concept of black comedy and satire set against the backdrop of terror and destruction should not work but it absolutley does in The Death of Stalin. The opening scene where Paddy Considine’s clueless radio host pulls people off the street into an orchestral performance and arranges a conductor in his pyjamas in order to record the concerto and get a copy to Stalin that night is satirical brilliance.

With the line ‘I promise you, no-one is going to die, it’s just a musical emergency’, the film’s tone is set from the outset.

The ensemble nature of the cast in this film is paramount to its success. Tambour, Beale, Buscemi and Palin are brilliant as the inept Ministers, bringing a sense of urgency and panic to their roles.

The scene in which they attempt to move Stalin’s body is laugh out loud funny, as is the razor sharp conversations they have whilst appearing to remain respectful at Stalin’s funeral. Just as good in support is Jason Isaacs as Field Marshal Zhukov, the leader of the Soviet Army and the hilarious Rupert Friend who steals several scenes as Stalin’s alcoholic son Vasily.

The film on the whole is pitched well and truly as a satirical comedy with plenty of hysterical moments and a brilliantly written script. However it also has the ability to shock and move the audience. Towards the end as a more sombre tone kicks in and the gut wrenching events of the time are realised, a shift from light to dark is handled with ease and Ianucci’s ability to handle both with ease is second to none.

The Death of Stalin will have you laughing in your seat and you may even learn a little bit about history at the same time.

Highly recommended and very very funny.

Postscript. Sally Hawkins had the lead role in Nick Payne’s Constellations for its world premiere in London in 2012. This intriguing play is finally making it to Perth in June when it will be directed by Brendan Ellis for the Irish Theatre Players. Can’t wait.

THE DEATH OF STALIN Reviewer: Chris McRae

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arody, satire and farce have an always will be hard styles of comedy to get exactly right. They require the perfect amount of comic timing pitched at just the right level with enough energy to carry the laughs and a subject matter that lends itself to the interpretation.

Hence why, the aftermath of the death of 31

SWAN VALLEY

SWEET TEMPTATIONS

TRAIL

handcrafted artisan produce

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ley.COM.A

U/sweet

Josie Daniel welcomes the group and introduces Andy Kahle who shared how she kept her business running through a major health issue

OUT AND ABOUT WITH SHARRON

MIDLAND JUNCTION ARTS CENTRE The Swan ChamberTHE of Commerce Breakfast Club - featuring a presentation from Mayor David Lucas on all of the upcoming infrastructure projects for the area. It was at the 7th Ave Bar and Restaurant plus

RELAY was an arts display at Midland Junction as a part of the Queen’s Baton Relay festivities as it passed through Swan.

An amazing collection of artists and media - all around the idea of art and sport.

- Mid REL AY

land

Max Wilson and Mayor David Lucas

elcome Ar t s - W

Taylor Teneale ti a s o Hayley R

Suze Trappit - Eddie Peters - Ineke Oliver 33

34

MOONDYNE JOE FESTIVAL THE ACT-BELONG-COMMIT TOODYAY MOONDYNE FESTIVAL 2018 TAIA SINCLAIR

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estern Australia's First and Foremost Colonial Festival. Sunday 6 May 2018 The legend of Moondyne Joe, the Avon Valley’s legendary bushranger transforms the picturesque historical town of Toodyay, Western Australia into a lively daylong festival.

A highlight of the day being the reenactment of Moondyne Joe’s various escapades throughout the town, his arrests and mock trials. Join in the fun with Moondyne Joe as he runs around town, robbing shops, escaping custody and being a general menace. Cheer on Joe’s gang, ‘floozies’, coppers, swaggies and the Town Crier.

This is a FREE Festival from 9am to 4pm. So come along and experience the community spirit in the centre of Toodyay, complete with street theatre, colonial village, entertainment, artisan and heritage crafts, healthy food stalls and loads of non-stop, amazing fun activities for all the family.

Everyone is encouraged to dress in pioneer period costume!

35

COMMUNITY THEATRE light tan drapes.

The fine set was designed and constructed by David Heckingbottom, Peter Scarrott, Danny Joyce and Callum Leam.

Many congratulations.

The show was smoothly staged managed by Summer Allen and Daniel Thompson.

India Allen and Jackie Hiscox shared the excellent lighting and sound design and operation.

THEATRE WITH GORDON

Attractive, middle-aged Jane (Cherry Allen) is a nervous, introverted woman who is losing out on ‘loving attention’ from her husband, Roger (Danny Joyce). So, on the suggestion of her best friend, Shirley (Helen Brown), she arranges to have dinner with Mark (Kris Davis), a desirable younger man that she met at her squash club.

Because Shirley’s husband, Gilbert (Peter Scarrott) is in Germany on business, Shirley goes to her yoga class, allowing Jane to use her house for the secret assignation.

Jane, wearing a low-cut, scarlet crushed velvet dress, has hot romance and anticipation in her eyes, but toy boy Mark thinks

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.

- Helen K eller ANYONE FOR BREAKFAST? nyone for Breakfast? is a frenetic farce, written in 1998 by Bradford born playwright, Derek Benfield.

As well as being one of the UK’s leading comedy writers, Derek played Hetty’s long suffering husband in the BBC series, Hetty Wainwright Investigates.

The latest presentation by the Rockingham Theatre Company can be seen at The Castle, Rockingham Theatre, 8 Attwood Way, in Rockingham.

This two-hour show can be seen each Friday and Saturday at 8.00 pm until 7th April, and you can always be sure of a warm welcome.

The Scene: A winter’s evening in 1980, in the living room of Gilbert and Shirley’s English country house, in a smart area of rural southern England.

The set: As always at the ‘Castle Theatre’, the standard of the scenery was top notch.

The sumptuous sitting room, as with all good farces, had numerous white doorways to aid with the confusion. The walls are a light chestnut colour with an attractive white, double dado rail. There are three steps leading to an enclosed staircase, a three-seater settee, and various tables. At the rear of the room are patio doors, with lace curtains and

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the meeting is for a simple meal.

However, a thick fog descends and Gilbert finds himself stranded in London. Knowing that his wife, Shirley, will be away at her keep-fit classes, he invites attractive air hostess, Helga (Helen Parish – brilliant) back to his house.

As the night of romance goes on, more people arrive, confrontations abound and the confusion heightens.

For years David Heckingbottom has proven to be a first-class farce actor, and accomplished comedy director. This show, with the assistance of Callon Leam as co-director, was very good.

The main actor, who is a superb comedy actor, unfortunately missed the farce delivery of being slightly stooped, and panic stricken. Bent in a self-defence position, as though being attacked in the street, is how farces are best delivered.

The script is written in the ‘broken’ style to help this panic appearance. Standing upright to deliver this particular style of script – as one would in a standard comedy – can end up with the actor having trouble with his delivery, and even forgetting lines.

Everyone was word perfect, and superbly rehearsed. Doors opened and closed perfectly as the characters just missed each other. Great timing. Plenty of laughs.

A well written fun show, that was thoroughly enjoyed by the happy audience, who all joined in – without prompting – with Dean Martin’s version of That’s Amore as the curtain rose.

36

THE WAY OF THE WORLD The Way of the World is a Restoration period comedy play, written

by Yorkshire born, William Congreve. This farce-like play was written in 1700 when William was thirty years old. Although Congreve was educated in Dublin, his use of the English language is still considered one of the best pieces of theatre writing ever.

This is one of those magnificent Baroque plays that is rarely tackled, as the acting and directing skills required are mindboggling. It has taken the courage of past WA Citizen of the Year, Wiluna born Ray Omodei to take up the challenge.

Although he is no chicken (sorry Ray), Ray has taken on this mammoth two and three quarter hours play for the fourth time, and produced another masterpiece. There are very few ‘Actors’ Equity Honorary Life Members’, and although this was awarded to Raymond some years ago, I am sure that he could easily earn the award again today for the quality work that he is still producing and directing.

This outstanding RDO Production has been organised by The Garrick Theatre Club, and is being presented at The Garrick Theatre, 16 Meadow Street in Guildford.

There have been slight modifications to the script’s elegant language made by Paul Shaw, but the Shakespearean and Noel Coward similarities and qualities are still there.

Jake Newby’s set is minimal, and of basic design. The furniture is almost skeletal with boxy ‘oak’ frames for the tables and chairs. The walls are hessian flats. The floor is soft wadding.

The stage manager was Graeme Dick assisted by Leslie Broughton. The minimal scene changes were quick and well organised.

Marjorie de Caux’s costumes – well what can one say?

There were fifteen actors, and everyone had truly immaculate clothing. Perfect for the era, they were of the finest materials and beautifully cut. They oozed wealth and style. From the shining bowed shoes, to the outstanding wigs supplied by Liddy Reynolds.

The Garrick is still using the older incandescent lamps, but in Jake Newby’s hands some tremendous atmospheric scenes were created. Even within a scene, he would carefully pick out an actor, by imperceptibly dimming the other lamps. The subtle use of the dimmers was first class.

The play opens as the extremely wealthy, desirable Mirabell (Rhett Clarke) and his jealous friend, Fainall (Kael McGrechan) are playing cards in a chocolate house.

Betty, the waitress (Laura Goodlet) and a young messenger (Leo Rimmer) burst into the cafe to warn them that the troublemaker, Witwoud (Dominic Masterson) and the flowery fop, Petulant (Jonathan Hoey) are on their way in.

It is discovered that Mrs Millamant (Siobhán Vincent), who is a major manipulator, could be worth millions if she marries the right man. The suitor must be chosen with her Aunt’s permission. All of the men want to have a chance at the money.

In the love stakes, Mrs Marwood (Sherryl Spencer) tries to lead Mrs Fainall (Sarah House) astray. When Lady Wishfort (Kerry Goode) hears of Millamant’s plans to marry Mirabell, she forbids the affair, thus stopping any inheritance to Millamant.

Mirabell’s servant, Waitwell (Timothy Presant) is forced to dress up as Sir Rowland, and seduce the elderly Aunt, so she will become disgraced, and thus, Millamant will inherit unheeded.

Waitwell’s real love, Foible (Elizabeth Offer) and her friend Peg (Natalia Smith) become embroiled in the deceit.

In the meantime, the Aunt has found another love of her own, Sir Wilful (Keith Scrivens).

Will true love shine through?

This review may seem complicated, well the storyline was – but exceptionally well explained.

Director Ray Omodei, who was assisted by Anita Bound, had to control and direct fifteen actors from young teens to dear Kerry Goode, who, like Miss Jean Brodie is still ‘in her prime’. The script is written in a semi-Shakespearean style, so demands perfect enunciation. The rich script uses some words and expressions that are rarely used today, and so perfect pace is also required.

For face makeup, the cast have used the fashionable, white lead face paint of the day, along with rouge and the obligatory beauty spot.

With such a complex dialogue, it is easy to find the actors becoming wooden and mere ‘talking machines’, with little idea as to the meaning. In this production it is evident that Raymond and Anita have fully explained every nuance and meaning to each of the cast individually. This became obvious when each actor was able to elucidate exactly, the hidden meanings of each line.

Every single actor knew their character perfectly, and displayed it flawlessly.

There were some outstanding performances, but Kerry blew me away. Every hand gesture and blink of the eye showed true quality. Not only in the classical portion of the performance, but especially in the hilarious sequence when she was preparing to meet her Amour. You ‘still have it’ Kerry.

This play is very long, it is in ‘Ye Olde Worlde’ dialogue, there is little scenery, and yet the audiences turned out in mass. With a highly appreciative, full house every night of the season. I find this so reassuring that the general public can accept a theatrical challenge, and appreciate the quality, instead of demanding the trite offerings sometimes seen.

This is theatre of the highest quality, in direction, presentation, lighting, costume, makeup and of course the acting.

A real theatrical gem.

37

FINANCE TAMPERING WITH SAVINGS JUST NOT CRICKET STEVE BLIZARD

What is it with Aussie cheaters? ver recent weeks the Australian Cricket Team has been humiliated for ball tampering, while Labor was caught out playing a shifty by tampering with retiree savings.

As Steve Smith, Cameron Bancroft and David Warner suffered the ignominy of being publicly “crucified” at Easter for cheating during the South African test, Opposition leader, Bill Shorten, and Opposition Treasury spokesman, Chris Bowen, have attempted to steal from the elderly.

Announced during the Batman by-election, Shorten insisted that his new “making superannuation fairer” policy would only impact a “small number” of pensioners, after which the two hastily revised their original plan to raise $59 billion by tightening the double taxation rules on Australian share dividends. The fact that union-aligned super funds were happy with their proposal to eliminate the cash refunds on franking credits, revealed their real game play.

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FRANKING CREDIT CASH REFUNDS

Labor’s special tax deal is extensive, as CFMEU slush funds and Labor-aligned campaign groups have also been given exemption from the Shorten plan to axe investment ­income cash refunds.

ECONOMIC DISASTER

Free-market think tank the Institute of Public Affairs (IPA) has warned that Labor’s plan to axe cash refunds for excess dividend imputation credits will affect all Australian with a superannuation account by changing the relative benefits of investing in Australian shares.

It would reduce the incentive to invest in Australian companies, thereby increasing the cost of capital in Australia as investors demand higher returns to compensate for the loss of income, IPA’s paper points out.

As a result, Australia’s army of self-managed super fund operators are now expected to shift towards buying more overseas shares instead of locally-listed favourites.

HIGHER POWER COSTS

Tax credits on Australian shares can be used to offset income tax payable, or in the event that there are franking credits that cannot be offset, shareholders can make application for a refund of the franking credit to the tax office.

When an individual earns less than $18,200 and pays no tax, then the individual receives a cash ­refund of 30 percent, which is only fair. Without cash refunds, the ­effect on such low-income earners would be a tax of 30 percent on dividends.

The refunds have been in place since 2001 and are particularly popular with self-funded retirees and partpensioners without much taxable income.

The ditching of cash refunds for franking credits won’t affect the industry super funds, a point Chris Bowen readily admitted.

Because ­industry super funds pay tax as an entity, there is plenty of tax payable that can be used to continue to access the value of the franking credits.

University of Queensland Professor Stephen Gray, an expert in asset pricing and corporate finance, said one example of an unintended consequence might be higher electricity prices.

This is because the electricity regulator takes the value of franking credits into account when it sets the prices networks are allowed to charge to achieve a reasonable return on capital.

"To the extent that fewer credits are redeemable, the regulator's estimate of the value that investors receive from credits will fall, so prices have to go up to compensate," he said.

SPECIAL DEALS WILL END BADLY

The economic absurdity of taxing self-funded retirees more heavily appears to be lost on Labor’s brains trust.

If pollies keep undermining confidence and attacking their nest eggs by changing the rules, the temptation must be to blow all that self-sacrifice and fall back on to the full pension when the cash runs out.

SHAMBOLIC So the Labor Party’s real agenda is to sandpaper another Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull seized on Labor’s special deal for their $590 billion Industry Super cash cow, inconsistency, saying pensioners with self-­managed super funds irrespective of the economic damage it is now set to unleash on still faced having their refunds scrapped. the national economy.

“They have said that no pensioner will be affected. Completely Like the Australian Cricket Team, the Shorten-Bowen duo may and utterly untrue,” Mr Turnbull said. “It’s another example of the live to regret its return to “win at all cost” ploy. shambolic policy on the run from an economic team that has one bungle after another.”

WA DE FACTO COUPLES TO SPLIT SUPER Bill Shorten has since offered to ring-fence 300,000

Western Australians in de facto relationships will finally pensioners and welfare recipients from his ­botched plans to axe be able to split their superannuation in the event of a break-up tax-credit refunds for retirees in a major strategic retreat that following the State and Federal Governments’ agreement to end will shave $3 billion off his initial $59bn retiree tax grab. a decade-old stalemate over the issue.

De facto couples here are the only group in Australia who walk away with their individual superannuation following relationship breakdowns.

In contrast, divorced couples and de facto couples in other States must treat superannuation like any other financial asset during contested settlements.

In a major breakthrough for the State Government, Federal Attorney-General Christian Porter has agreed to bring the issue forward for consideration to ensure that WA’s de facto couples are not disadvantaged.

Continued on the next page ...

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BUSINESS - NETWORKING NETWORKING DOESN’T WORK UNLESS YOU DO SHARRON ATTWOOD

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here is no magic solution to developing your networks. No silver bullet to have everyone perfectly understand what you do so that the referrals effortlessly roll in. It just won’t work unless you do.

Networking without a plan is like climbing a ladder only to find it propped up against the wrong wall!

The majority of people I work with stumble when it comes to communicating the value they bring to the market. What is the problem they solve? Any introduction that starts with ‘I’m just a…..’ used to see my subconscious start to forget them before I even heard them.

Now though, I have a desire to work them through that introduction – to discover their point of difference. Everyone has one – no matter how vanilla you may think your offering to be.

Even those with the same exact product and delivery system as the next person – has an ability to offer a unique experience. The good news here is that it removes the need to fight on price alone, if at all.

They say that to fight on price is just a race to the bottom – and I couldn’t agree more. There are so many other ways to be your client’s first choice when it comes to doing business and offering you up in a referral.

So before you set out to meet people – be it face to face or working your connections onlne – you need to understand yourself and your business.

It’s the same as heading out on a date or off to a job interview.

You’d consider who you are meting with, what you are going to say and even what to wear. You want to put yourself out there in the best possible light. The same applies to doing and succeeding in business.

HOW DO YOU NEED TO BE SEEN?

To asses this start with looking at how you are currently seen in the market - amongst your peers and customers. How well do they understand you? If it’s all good – then continue on. If their understanding of you is a little vague – or just plain wrong – you need to look at what you are doing and saying to make this impression or lack there of.

A confused mind always says no – and I usually find that a lack of referrals can be tracked back to a network’s confusion as to what you actally do and the way it’s done.

Concluded from the previous page ...

State Attorney-General John Quigley, who had been pressing for the referral, said WA de facto couples were at “considerable disadvantage” when it came to splitting superannuation.

Family Law Practitioners Association WA president Michael Berry welcomed the co-operation between the state and Canberra on a matter that had been of “significant concern” to its members for more than ten years.

Courtesy of Roxburgh Securities

WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE?

If you can’t explain what you do to a child and have them understand – its too high level. We will file away a concise explanation of what you tell us so that we can recall it as the opportnity to refer someone your way pops up. If it’s too convoluted, too long or in language we can’t, don’t or wont use – it gets discarded by our subconscious.

I’ll often ask “How do I identify a potential clent for your business?” You need to know – so that you can educate me.

What words do they use to describe a need for what you offer?

If they say they hate Networking or are not making a memorable impression – send them my way!

Pretty simple – who is looking for you?

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING TO MEET AND GET TO KNOW?

We usually start out assuming a need to look for our ideal client – or any client – or anyone who will listen to us – ‘two feet and a heart beat’ style – and when we start out any card offered is gold. Whilst we should appreciate a good listener – and strive to be one – this is overly time consuming. We are also not necessarliy adding value to any one else’s journey.

Time spent getting clear as to who your ideal client is, is always time well invested. You can then determine the best way to network with them or towards them.

Can you meet your ideal client via face to face events? If so which ones?

Is there someone in between you and them that you can meet?

You may be better off connecting with referral sources than trying to connect with potential clients one at a time.

Are they online? Value your time and theirs by being prepared to interact where they already are in a way they appreciate.

What value can you add? This needs to be a two way street – all take and you’ll get found out very quickly. It’s just not sustainable.

This is why I am such an advocate for a well established personal brand. It gives you something that cannot be replicated or copied. It also needs to be protected though – by you and your actions.

Networking is a journey to be planed for. Revise the plan often and be prepared to change direction if you look up and find yourself heading the wrong way. You can move – you are not a tree.

39

SWAN VALLEY AND REGIONAL NETWORK NEW APPOINTMENT FOR WHAT’S YOUR BIG IDEA? TOURISM WA BOARD re you looking to start a quirky café, an offbeat bar or another

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unique business offering in the City of Swan?

If the answer is yes, then we have a unique building available for you!

The Old Water Supply Office, located on Old Great Northern Highway in Midland, is now available for lease with expressions of interest Opens in new window being sought from prospective or existing businesses and community groups.

If you are interested, you can view the property on Wednesday, April 18 - 9am to 10.30am. Viewing of the property must be requested by emailing tenders@swan.wa.gov.au no later than 4pm on Tuesday, April 17 for the second site inspection.

All business or community usage ideas will be considered, with innovation and activation of the surrounding spaces important factors for consideration.

The expression of interest period ends at 4pm on Wednesday, April 25 so get your big idea in the mix today!

Old Water Supply Office HEALTH & WELLBEING

Fre

evente!

OVER 55’S

EXPO www.swan.wa.gov.au

BULLSBROOK SPORTS PAVILLION, PICKETT PARK, MAROUBRA AVE

espected Aboriginal business leader Kia Dowell has been appointed as a new Commissioner on the board of Tourism Western Australia.

Ms Dowell is the head of Strategy and Innovation at Indigenous Business Australia, and is responsible for the delivery of a five-year national strategy for the organisation which is the lead Commonwealth agency for Aboriginal economic development.

Tourism Minister Paul Papalia welcomed Ms Dowell to the board acknowledging her career achievements, as well as her service to other boards including Aboriginal consulting firm Codeswitch, which she co-founded; Macquarie Groups' First Australians Employee Engagement Group; and as Chairperson of the Gelganyem Trust board linked to Rio Tinto's Argyle Diamond Mine.

Ms Dowell will replace Elizabeth Gaines who resigned from the Tourism WA board after her appointment as Chief Executive of Fortescue Metals Group - the first woman to head a major Australian mining company.

Collectively, Tourism WA Commissioners have extensive experience and diverse skills across a range of fields including finance, law, governance, aviation, tourism and hospitality, events, product development, travel wholesaling, and regional and economic development.

Profiles of the board members are available at www.tourism. wa.gov.au "Ms Dowell will add considerable value to the board's membership having established herself as a leader across commercial, cultural, and community roles”, said Tourism Minister Paul Papalia.

"She is widely recognised for her work to support the growth of profitable and sustainable organisations that serve a greater social purpose informed and led by Aboriginal communities.

"The composition of the Tourism WA board is a deliberate mix of professional people from within and outside the tourism industry."

featurin

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EriC McCrum

Natural

ist

Look good and feel good at the Over 55’s Expo.

There will be information stalls, guest speakers, activities and workshops throughout the event, as well as entertainment.

A free shuttle bus service will run from Ellenbrook and the Swan Valley.

To register to travel by free bus to and from the event, contact Jenna Whistler 0427 163 317 or email jenna.whistler@swan.wa.gov.au

CoS_1053

FRIDAY, MAY 11 10AM-2PM

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For all enquiries about the event, please contact Marion - President of Bullsbrook and Districts CWA by email at over55expo@gmail.com

Kia Dowell 40

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SWAN VALLEY AND REGIONAL NETWORK TOXIC WEED WARNING - NARROW LEAF COTTON BUSH

otton Bush can be found anywhere. The weed can be found at any time of year, but is most noticeable in summer and autumn when plants have their flowers and fruits.

The City of Swan has had a co-ordinated effort in Bullsbrook and now narrow-leaf cotton bush (Gomphocarpus fruticosus) has been found in the Swan Valley - Gidgegannup and surrounds.

Be aware and on the lookout – This plant can get away very quickly.

APPEARANCE

An erect slender short-lived shrub one to two metres high, with narrow opposite leaves, and bladder-like fruit. All parts of the plant exude a milky white sap when damaged. It reproduces by seed and suckers.

Stems: pale green, 60-180 centimetres high, covered with short whitish downy hairs when young.

Leaves: dull green, occasionally with shiny upper surface. They are 5-12 centimetres long, 6-18 millimetres wide tapering to a point and are opposite each other in pairs.

Flowers: white or creamy with five fringed waxy lobes turned sharply outwards. They are formed in a loose drooping cluster of three to ten flowers in the leaf axils.

Fruit: distinctive seed pods that are puffy, swan-shaped structures up to six centimetres long and 2.5 centimetres wide and covered in soft spines up to one centimetres long.

Seeds: contained within a thin walled sack that is separated from the outer wall by an air space. Brown coloured, flattened and egg shaped about six millimetres long and three millimetres wide with a tuft of silky hairs about three centimetres long at one end.

WHY IT’S A PROBLEM

Cotton Bush contains cardiac glycoside which is toxic to humans and livestock. Stock wouldn’t normally eat the plant because it’s extremely unpalatable but it can cause problems as a contaminant of hay or chaff.

The main symptom of Narrow-leaf Cotton Bush poisoning is severe gastroenteritis, which shows up as severe congestion of the alimentary canal. Contact with the plant’s sap can cause a rash or other symptoms and medical attention is advised.

CONTROL

Small areas can be sprayed or physically removed by grubbing or pulling. Dry plants can be buried or burnt. Avoid contact with toxic sap by wearing protective clothing like overalls and rubber gloves. Wash hands thoroughly before eating.

Large infestations of mature plants can be managed and controlled by slashing, burning and spraying. Slashing and burning must be followed up with herbicide treatment to control re-growth and seedlings.

The City of Swan would like to be contacted if you have Cotton Bush on your property or if sighted on verge or bushland If City of Swan Informed of Cotton Bush infestations the City will write to the land owner/s with information on the weed and how to treat it.

For more information on the control and removal of the weed contact the City of Swan on 9267 9267 or email Swan@ swan.wa.gov.au.

41

A STATE-WIDE OPERATION

F

rom red dust outback to city slickers and everywhere in between, SAFE foster animals and adoptees have found themselves living in all different parts of Australia and even further afield.

Founded in Karratha in the Pilbara, SAFE now has twelve branches all across Western Australia. Foster animals are brought to their nearest SAFE branches and placed into foster homes where we can learn all about them and they can learn the ropes in terms of training and interacting with people and other animals.

The advantage of having branches spread across the state is that we can save animals in remote areas and if we can’t rehome them locally, we can get them to our Perth presence, SAFE Metro. Being located in a more densely populated area means greater options for foster care and permanent homes.

Bodhi was rescued in Bunbury and is being fostered in Perth through our SAFE Metro branch.

This big handsome three-year-old Bhodi and freinds (Photographs by Annabel Naudé) boy thinks he’s a 32kg lap dog and is full of cuddles and kisses. He may look

intimidating but he’s just a big sook. He walks well in his harness, He needs a calm home where he can’t be easily spooked.

Confidence grows with trust and from not going within twenty and loves being off lead in the park with other dogs. He hasn’t learned the concept of bringing the ball back and dropping it yet, metres of the dog wash man when Bodhi first arrived in foster care he’s now been in for a wash and even through the tunnel of but he loves to just run around with the other dogs with the ball an agility course. securely in his mouth.

He’s house trained and happy inside or out. Bodhi has been on If you think you can offer Bodhi a calm, active and loving home please contact our Perth branch, SAFE Metro on 0475 346 545. quite a life journey so far and is therefore a bit prone to anxiety.

CAN WE CRASH AT YOUR PLACE FOR A WHILE?

SAFE INC. AT A GLANCE SAFE is WA’s largest volunteer-based animal rescue and rehoming service using the foster care model. Our goal is to save homeless pets from unnecessary euthanasia by fostering, desexing and rehoming them.

We are a not for profit organisation administered by a skilled board of directors, meeting high standards in the charity sector. SAFE Inc. is a proud member of Animal Welfare League of Australia.

SAFE began in the Pilbara in 2003 and has grown to a network of 12 branches around the state, with an average of over 300 companion animals in care each month.

With more than 20,500 cats and dogs desexed and rehomed since our inception, we are making a difference!

Click on the link ~ Join our team of volunteers:

safe.asn.au/volunteering.html Be a financial supporter:

safe.asn.au/Donate.html Look at our animals available for adoption: safe.asn.au/Pets_available 42

#FosteringSavesLives Becoming a foster carer is a great way to help an animal in need by opening your home to a cat, rabbit or a dog on a temporary basis. It is a very fulfilling experience to be involved in enabling an animal who had little hope for the future to be placed in a permanent loving home.

Foster care enables our animals to learn good house manners, interact with other people and other animals and generally build skills to make their transition into permanent homes a smooth one. And all the while, they

COMMUNITY Compassionate Friends of Western Australia strives Tthathetochild’s support families who have lost a child, regardless of age throughout WA.

We are a non-profit, non-government funded charity that provide peer call support, group meetings, a drop in centre, sending out quarterly newsletters, Anniversary Cards, we hold Walk of remembrance and a candlelight service (non-religious) at Christmas.

We are run by volunteers and bereaved parents that are further along in their grief and wish to help others who have suffered this tragedy.

WALK OF REMEMBRANCE HELD Although everybody’s grief is different it helps to talk to someone IN MARCH EACH YEAR who has actually had this tragedy happen to them.

They WON”T say “I know how you feel” as no one can, but they Events like these above give the bereaved some hope of a life will say “I don’t know exactly what you are feeling but this is how I after the death of their child. They connect with others that have been through the same tragic experience. felt when my child died”.

In doing so its helps them to feel that they are not alone in their grief, that there is a worldwide connection to other suffering the same.

We raise funds by holding events, charity drives and donation from our members and outside bodies.

Although this is fantastic, we still struggle with the cost of keeping our doors open so any suggestion on fundraising or donations are gratefully accepted.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED We are always looking for volunteers to help man Sausage Sizzles, Charity Shopping Centre Drives and other events along with peer support volunteers (bereaved parents) for telephone support and group meeting facilitation.

DONATIONS Donations allow us to purchase stamps so we can send our booklets and other information to the newly bereaved, community groups, doctors surgeries and hospital throughout Western Australia.

They help us cover advertising cost in newspapers throughout Western Australia, pay for our office and utilities allowing us to have Peer Support Workers come in and contact to bereaved that wish to have contact.

The Compassionate Friends of WA Inc. receives no Government funding in any way.

feel loved and SAFE. It allows them to relax so we can see their true personalities and make great matches for them and their adopters.

Your time as a foster carer with us can range from a short to long-term foster care or even just on one occasion - your choice.

You will have ongoing support from SAFE whilst you have an animal in your care. Examples of the support we provide are behavioural advice if needed, supply of food and kitty litter, and payment of authorised vet visits. And if a placement isn’t working out, we’ll find another foster home for the animal.

Your opinions about the placement process for your foster pet will be strongly considered. Our animals are all vaccinated, desexed when old enough and microchipped.

Would you like to join us in saving lives by sharing your home with one or more of our foster cats, kittens, rabbits or dogs? Call our Perth branch, SAFE Metro on 0475 346 545. directors, meeting high standards in the charity sector. SAFE Inc. is a proud member of Animal Welfare League of Australia.

SAFE began in the Pilbara in 2003 and has grown to a network around the state, with an average of over 300 companion animals in care each month.

43

HOUSE AND GARDEN TRANSFORM YOUR GARDEN WITH TREES MARION LOGIE

our series of trees for the Western Australian garden.

Ctreesontinuing This month we’re looking at purely decorative and/or flowering for the Perth warm temperate climate.

Not necessarily natives, these are those that give shade in summer, and allow the sun through in winter.

Always plant your tree with good quality soil conditioner mixed in well with your existing soil and with a length or ‘root barrier’ around the root zone (below the soil surface). A root barrier is a safe and effective way of encouraging trees to send their roots down deeper into the soil before branching out.

This also helps minimise disturbance of paving, driveways and walls from tree roots too near the surface.

ALBIZIA aka Pink Silk Tree (Albizia julibrissin) The tree has a moderate growth rate with a broad vase – shaped habit. Masses of showy pink flowers in summer. A tough and adaptable tree with a delicate appearance. Suited to a wide range of soil types but will thrive in a well composted soil.

Height: 5m Width: 4m

L

BIOSECURITY WARNING BROWN MARMORATED STINK BUG

ive and dead stink bugs have been found in an imported container of electrical components from Italy in a warehouse in the Jandakot area.

The bug is a significant agricultural pest, however timely action indicates that the threat has been contained. The presence of the bugs was reported quickly to the Department of Agriculture and Water Resources who treated the infested goods and fumigated the warehouse.

The Department of Primary Industries and Regional Development (DPIRD) is undertaking further surveillance adjacent to the warehouse and in surrounding areas, including visual checks and the use of specialised traps and lures.

WHAT IS IT?

Brown marmorated stink bug (Halyomorpha halys) is a mottle brown coloured, shield shaped stink bug. This species has a very large host range and affects many plants, including tree nuts such as hazelnut, pecan and potentially walnuts.

Originally from eastern Asia, it was recently introduced to North America and Europe, where it is having a signifcant impact on agriculture and as a nuisance pest (due to its habit of overwintering in large numbers inside buildings). While feeding the bug’s saliva causes signifcant damage to plant tissues. Damage includes: nut abortion, shrivelled kernels and kernel necrosis.

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?

Brown marmorated stink bug adults are medium-large (12-17 mm long), mottle brown coloured, shield shaped stink bugs.There are fve nymph stages that range from less than 3 mm to 12 mm long.

The nymphs are orange and black when they frst hatch but quickly develop a similar colouration to the adults.

Eggs are cream to yellow-orange and approximately 1.6 mm long and laid in clusters on the underside of leaves.What can it be confused with?The adults and larvae can be confused with a number of other brown coloured stinkbugs that are present in Australia.

The Department of Agriculture and Water Resources has produced a feld guide to assist in the identifcation of this pest. See: www.agriculture. gov.au/SiteCollectionDocuments/biosecurity/ import/cargo/pests/guide-identifcation-brownmarmorated-stink-bug.pdf for further information.

44

The foliage is a rich green, feathery bipinate leaves that fold up at night. Yellow to rusty brown in autumn. The small pink flowers show long showy pink stamens in summer.

More next month ...

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