Swan magazine december2014dp

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The Publisher, Editor and Staff of Swan Magazine wish all our readers Merry Christmas and

a Happy New Year 1

WHY YOU SHOULD ADVERTISE IN THE SWAN MAGAZINE

n these difficult economic days with so many media outlets (radio, television, Yellow Pages, business directories of all kinds as well as newspapers) clamouring for your advertising dollar it is important for you to get the best possible value for your money.

We believe an investment in advertising space in the Swan Magazine represents good value for the following reasons: Any published advertisement lasts only until its next issue. A weekly newspaper lasts a week at best and in most cases a single reading only. We are a monthly magazine and so any advertisement lasts at least a month until the next issue.

We have many, many examples of advertisements lasting and working much longer than that since, because of the nature of the Swan Magazine, readers - your customers - retain copies of the magazine and refer back to it.

Swan Magazine covers a unique area of distribution extending throughout the City of Swan and The Shire of Mundaring, with a bulk drop in Kalamunda.

Print copies of Swan Magazine are bulk dropped at various locations, such as shopping centres, libraries, tourist centres and focus points.

This ensures that your message is delivered directly to your customers and potential new customers.

The print copies of Swan Magazine has a monthly readership of around 30,000, all of whom have your details in front of them.

We have gradually reduced the number of home-delivered copies

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and replaced them with bulk drops.

This was not an easy decision and one we took with trepidation - but the results have been unexpected.

Advertisers have reported a increase in results by and large as the copies have been taken by someone who wants to read it rather than have it delivered in the centre of a thick bundle of advertising material where it gets lost or thrown out.

An advertisement flashed onto a cinema screen lasts perhaps 30 seconds and few patrons take pen and paper with them to jot down your phone number in the dark.

Swan Magazine severely limits the percentage of space devoted to advertising, making each one more effective.

We have all seen publications with pages and pages of advertisements with nothing else on the page to tempt the reader to linger, notice and read your advertisement.

Because we carry so much editorial in the way of articles of general interest readers often tell us they read the magazine ‘from cover to cover’.

We are also the only printed, freely-distributed medium to carry both fiction and poetry. In addition the quarto size and the fact that it is bound makes the Swan Magazine easy and convenient to read anywhere.

In addition to the printed version, which we will always publish, we now produce a digital issue which can either be e-mailed directly to your inbox, or a link to a commercial site where you can read the magazine or download or print it out for later reading.

The first, test, issue was electronically published in October of 2013 on the website Issuu and as at the date of writing this has been viewed over 15,000 times locally and globally.

Swan Magazine does not publish so-called ‘advertorials’ for the simple reason that they do not work as an advertising feature. People simply do not read them. When did you personally last read an article all the way through which began ‘We have been in business now for thirty years and our service is .... etc...’

Puff pieces like this are ineffective because they are unread, irrelevant and regarded, quite rightly, by the reader with scepticism. Whatever you sell readers do not care to read about the excellence of your staff or their kind natures.

Our advertisements are more effective on a dollar for dollar basis.

A business card board advertisement in full colour in the Swan Magazine costs $80 per month.

Can you get a 6 by 4 centimetre advertisement in colour for $20 a week in your current publication?

A final point to consider is that Swan Magazine places advertisements on appropriate pages - health product advertisements appear on those pages devoted to health; financial consultants’ advertisements of the finance pages and so on - these advertisements are not placed wherever there is space or it is convenient - each is placed in a relevant, effective, spot.

We offer a range of advertisements to suit every advertising budget why not ring 9298 8495 and talk to us.

IN THIS ISSUE PAGE

FEATURES

Art and Artists MAC Calligraphy as Art

10 11

Beauty Matters Books and Writing Business Card Board

3 12 27,28

Chef-Adventurer Christmas Community Ellenbrook Men’s Shed Christmas Message MAD Cards Computers

4 14 6 23 26 20

Dining Out Swan Valley Cafe Padbury’s

5 7

Editorial Education Entertainment Kookaburra’s Back Gasp! - a Review Kiss Me, Kate - a Review Swan Harmony

2 18 16 16 17 16

PAGE Film Paddington - a Review 24 Finance 21 Gardening December Garden Work 13 Pressed Vs Fabricated 13 Pool Heating 13 Guildford Grammar School News 19

KSP - Whats On 12 Letters to the Editor Literary

22 22

MCC 21 Night Sky Notes From Parliament

9 9

Rotary 23 SAFE 25 The Voice of Swan Hills What’s On

8 26

Printed in Western Australia by Vanguard Press using petroleum free inks and green electricity on plantation sourced paper. Both paper manufacturer and printer are certified to ISO14001, the highest environmental standard.

COVER PICTURE:

Director of Music and conductor Mr Christopher Milne.

Taken at La Salle College’s 2013 Carols by Candlelight.

Photograph by Sabrina Lynsdale

SWAN MAGAZINE

Published by: Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd WEBSITE:

www.swanmagazine.com.au Editor: Jan Patrick editor@swanmagazine.com.au Office: 14 Ridge Road, Glen Forrest, Western Australia Phone: 9298 8495 E-mail: office@swanmagazine.com.au Sales: Jan Patrick 0438 988 495 Postal Address: P.O. Box 554, Mundaring Western Australia 6073 JANUARY DEADLINES: Advertisements: 15th Dec Editorial: 10th December Copyright: Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd 2014 1

EDITORIAL GOOD NEWS FOR THE READERS OF THE SWAN MAGAZINE

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ifteen years ago, when we founded Swan Magazine, then called Mundaring Magazine as we had far smaller territorial ambitions, one of the concerns we had was the large amount of paper that such an endeavour would consume.

That much paper, and over the last fifteen years it has amounted to several millions of sheets of A4, would also consume a great deal of timber.

However there was just no way around it and we salved our conscience by only using, as far as was practical, recycled paper stock.

We ensured that any timber actually used came from plantations and timber farms rather than the wild.

As soon as ox y gen- bleac hed paper was available we chose that over the cheaper but more destructive chlorine bleach.

Similarly the advent of vegetablebased ink over oilbased enabled us to reduce still further our footprint upon the earth.

The ideal, of course, is to use no paper or physical material at all and the rapid growth of the internet and the attendant rise of iphones, ipads and tablets generally lead one to believe that digital newspapers and magazines are far more widely accepted than ever before.

To test this theory, last September we published a copy of the Swan Magazine on the publishing website Issuu as well as printing the usual number of hard copies. By March of this year this edition has had some 14,000 viewings.

We then started sending selected people who had formerly received printed copies, digital copies of the magazine each month in the form of a Pdf document, which can be read on your desktop computer.

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This has proved very popular and we now no longer send any printed copies at all.

In addition we have opened a subscription service for digital copies so that readers outside of the City of Swan and Shire of Mundaring (shortly to be amalgamated into one) can receive copies.

This has always been a problem for us - the magazine is so well regarded that we have had requests from all over Australia and elsewhere for copies that postage and stationery became an issue.

These digital subscriptions have become very popular and we now have an electronic subscription list fast approaching 2,000.

We have found that as the demand for electronic copies rises the demand for printed copies has slightly declined, which has encouraged us to expand the concept.

We will never stop producing a hard, printed copy as many of our readers were born before computers, as indeed I was, and we like the physicality of reading. The feel, the smell, the touch of a book or magazine is pure luxury.

But, and it’s a very important but, the cost of producing a printed magazine is high, advertising revenue across all forms of printed media is falling and while print copies may well outlive me, it won’t be by much.

Because of this, we have found that we cannot go beyond thirty-two printed pages at present.

However, this does not apply to digital copies and we are thrilled to announce that as from the first edition in the new year, January, 2015 there will be an increase of 25% to forty pages.

This will enable us to include If you would like to receive a free a great many good things which have had previously to be left out copy of the new, expanded digital and also allow us to increase the Swan Magazine sent to you space available for poems and electronically and save a tree’s life, fiction. send an email to: It also means that advertising can be accepted at a most editor@swanmagazine.com.au affordable rate - a 6cm by 6cm with ‘Subscribe’ in the subject line. will cost only $18 for a month’s advertising, and as we have seen,

back copies on the internet last very, very much longer than do print copies.

The September digital issue, for example, is still attracting readers whereas it’s almost impossible to even get a printed copy of the same edition.

The increase in pages will also mean we can reduce the ratio of advertising to editorial material. We have never exceeded 33.3% advertising and we may even be able to reduce that.

It’s a well known truism that the battle between editors and management is that each think the other’s adverts or editorials take up too much space.

Digital copies will make it possible to please both of us, as well as making space for all manner of exciting projects and competitions.

January’s issue has always been devoted to ‘Holiday Reading’ and so will this one.

So, as we urge you towards a paperless reading habit, we offer the carrot of greater reading pleasure.

If you do not currently receive the Swan Magazine digitally, but would like to do so, please send an email to editor@swanmagazine. com.au with the subject ‘Subscription’ and early in January we’ll email you a link to Issuu so you can read the new, expanded, magazine on line, a downloadable Pdf of the magazine and a further downloadable epub document that can be read on your iPhone or iPad and a mobi version that can be read on Kindle.

This, we think, covers just about every possible requirement that you might have, but we’re always willing to hear suggestions.

If you have a business you should think about advertising in the digital copy. Prices are available on our website: www.swanmagazine.com.au.

BEAUTY MATTERS IPL - WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? NICOLE STEWART R.N.

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ntense Pulse Light or IPL as it is more commonly known, is a wellestablished and popular beauty therapy that utilises light for photo rejuvenation and permanent hair reduction.

IPL is not the same as Laser.

Although IPL and Laser are both “light-based” treatments, Laser uses only one specific wave length whereas IPL uses a broad spectrum of visible white light of different wave lengths to treat various skin conditions related to photo ageing (sun damage) as well as permanent hair reduction.

IPL is more versatile, non- invasive and generally more cost effective than laser treatments and that is why it is such a popular and widely available therapy.

IPL uses short blasts of high-intensity light and heat to penetrate just below the skin's surface.

The human skin or hair follicle selectively absorb this light for just a fraction of a second - enough

time to disrupt the problem area and carry out the treatment.

The absorption of the high intensity pulse light damages either the melanin that makes up brown "age spots" or freckles, haemoglobin contained in tiny broken capillaries or the melanin contained in hair follicles and over time these are destroyed.

Treatment can result in permanent destruction, part destruction, or temporary destruction of the pigment or hair follicle depending on the size of the “target”, skin type and hair colour as well as number of treatments and therapist skill.

Collagenisis (new collagen growth), is an added bonus and a favourable side effect of IPL treatment. New collagen growth post IPL involves a complex process of chemical changes within skin tissue resulting in an increase in fibroblast activity and angiogenesis.

Put simply, IPL can often result in noticeable textural changes of the skin, reduction in pore size, fine lines and skin roughness. The overall effect of photo rejuvenation will give skin a fresher more even look and tone.

IPL is a truly fantastic treatment option for many people with sun damage or for those who are seeking hair reduction.

In some cases IPL can offer a life changing experience but it isn’t cheap and there are many therapists offering this treatment without qualifications, knowledge or expertise.

IPL is a specialised treatment which does require skill and knowledge in order to achieve results safely and effectively.

If you are considering IPL, do your research, (personal recommendations are always a good thing) and be prepared to invest in several treatments in order to achieve the desired outcome.

The high cost of the IPL machines, the cost per flash to the salon or clinic, public liability insurance, training and therapist wages (each treatment takes thirty minutes to two hours) all contribute to the legitimate cost of each IPL treatment.

Prices do vary however and don’t be misled by cheap package deals or “one time” offers.

There will always be a catch.

For most people who have had a positive IPL experience, the outlay is worth the financial investment because the results are long lasting and in many instances life changing or at least personally empowering!

To no longer have to live with freckles can be a beautiful thing.

Courtesy of JOI Pure

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herever you see this symbol you will be able to get more information by scanning it with your smartphone, laptop or iPad. The relevant can be downloaded free from your App Store.

DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

Natural Beauty Clinic 31 Tarbenian Way, Brigadoon

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Specialising in JOI Pure facials IPL for skin rejuvenation & permanent hair reduction LED phototherapy Infrared detox sauna therapy Open by appointment 7 days.

Please call 9296 3891 to book your next rejuvenating health & beauty treatment.

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natural organic skincare

3

CHEF-ADVENTURER

CHRISTMAS IN LEYSIN BRENDAN MURPHY

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hristmas is always a busy period for Chefs and I have certainly worked my fair share of Christmas pasts!

However, despite a busy kitchen it can also be a fun time to work and one of the best Christmas’s that I worked was in a very White and Snowy Switzerland in 1985.

I flew from London to Geneva in search of Snow, ski slopes, and the ever elusive ‘White Christmas’!

I had secured a job in a popular ski resort in Leysin, a large scattered village on top of a mountain. The village was situated on the side of the Rhone valley not far from the Montreux side of Lake Geneva.

The view was truly spectacular, and because of its summer sunshine and pure mountain air, Leysin used to be renowned as a Health destination that could cure all ills.

However, in my day it had become a very popular winter ski resort, thanks to its excellent snow and ski slopes.

I worked in a series of hotels which specialised in ski-mad packages for tourists from mainly Britain, Ireland and America. The Hotel staff was a mixture of Swiss, French and party mad Britons, Irish and Aussies.

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The cuisine was ‘international’ and the hotels were full to the brim, so we expected a busy season. Our speciality was the classic Swiss Cheese Fondue where the guests could dip large chunks of bread into a delicious warming pan of a melted Gruyere cheese concoction, simmering gently over a spirit lamp on their table.

That year the snow arrived with the most perfect festive timing, on Christmas Eve, and it never stopped all Christmas. (In fact, the memory is so vivid because it’s the last time I remember a real heavy snowfall at Christmas time, since I was a young laddie!)

I particularly loved life at this resort because once we had cooked and served lunch we could hit the Ski-slopes too, then after dinner service, join the guests at the bar where many a party was held by all.

The English Barman was called ‘Madman Andy’ because he was always playing jokes on us, but he was also renowned for his many creations of a ‘Festive Swiss Punch’.

On one very memorable Christmas Eve evening, a Christmas staff party was in full swing, and Andy had made a huge ten-liter stainless steel jug of his very potent punch with lashings of regional Cherry Brandy, Neuchatel sparkling white wine and a Swiss aperitif called Appenzeller (if I can remember rightly!). It certainly went down well with guests and staff alike!

However, Andy had added one surprise ingredient. An ingredient we did not find until we got to the bottom of the jug.

“Oh, no! Is that a pair of underpants I can see?

WHO put them in there?!”

Everybody was shouting until we heard a mad laugh from the other end of the lounge. We just caught a fleeting glimpse of ‘Madman’ Andy, still with his apron on, but with his bare backside exposed for us all to see as he ran out of the room!

This is a true story and a typical example of Andy’s humour!

To make matters worse, whilst nursing a hangover the next morning he informed us staff

that he had put his undies in the punch early in the evening when the punch was still half full!!

So, for this month’s recipe and for any Christmas event you hold, I am going to give you a recipe for that Festive Punch (or what I can remember of it!) with an Australian twist.

Oh, as for the additional ingredient of the underwear, well, I shall leave that entirely up to you CHRISTMAS PUNCH (Per Glass) Ingredients 15ml dashes of Cherry Brandy 1 lump of sugar 20ml of a good WA Sparkling White Wine or champagne 10ml orange juice Ice 1 x Maraschino Cherry on the stalk Method 1. Put sugar into a Champagne flute-glass 2. Make the punch by mixing the cherry brandy and wine, then add the orange juice and stir 3. Add to glasses and top with a little ice and a cherry FOR A MORE IN-DEPTH of A Taste of Europe or indeed A Taste of the World follow The Chef Explorer on Facebook, with more anecdotes on Travel and Food or listen to Brendan on his weekly radio show on Radio Ellenbrook 88fm.

To buy his books go to www. chefexplorer.com. au.

DINING OUT

The Thoughts of an Ageing, Balding Foodie

HIGH TEA AT SWAN VALLEY CAFE DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

small weddings, that Swan Valley host.

You can take High Tea in the enclosed, mostly glass, room or outside under the sail shades or lush vines.

High Tea comes in two courses - savoury, then sweet, and accompanied by your choice of teas. And this is where things get very interesting because although commercial teas are available (black, green, white and red [rooibos]), the bulk of the large range of teas are made on the premises by Julie in her herb room.

Teas are made up for the particular properties of the herbs, thus the 'Slumber' tea has skullcap, valerian, Californian poppy, passion flower, lemon balm, hops and chamomile. Every herbal tea sold is designed and personally mixed by hand by Julie.

H

igh Teas are becoming fashionable roughly a century since they were last popular in Edwardian England.

So evocative of that time and leisured ease that Rupert Brook used the image to evoke rural England in 1912: '. . oh! yet, Stands the Church clock at ten to three?

And is there honey still for tea?'

But for the modern tastes, some things have to be updated and modernised. More and more people have strict and rigorous dietary requirements - coeliac, gluten intolerance, lactose intolerance, vegetarian and vegan. All are now far wider requirements than previously as we become more health conscious.

Swan Valley Cafe, of whom I have written before, have a reputation for providing top quality vegetarian, dairy-free, egg-free, gluten-free and raw options in food.

So when I heard they were moving into the High Tea business I was quite keen to give it a try. Charlotte and Julie run the restaurant/cafe/ tea shop and the garden centre attached is run

by Ray, who also supplies flowers and decorative backdrops for the various functions, including

The first two tier cake stand arrived with our hot and cold savouries - stuffed mushrooms, vol-au-vents, vegie rolls, frittata and vegetarian Kofta laid out on salad greens and decorated with edible Nasturtium flowers (a slight peppery taste).

The food was excellent, although you must not think of it as a meat-equivalent. These delicious foods are not trying to be meat, they are just being their own tasty selves. I particularly enjoyed the stuffed mushrooms, delicate and savoury, and the sipid hot vol-au-vents. The frittata was particularly good as well.

Having eaten that we were quite full, so the second two-teir cake stand full of sweet goodies might have defeated us if they weren’t so excellent.

The banana muffin was delicious, the carrot cake beyond reproach and the mini cheese cake (composed of entirely raw foods) topped with blueberries was outstanding. The plates also had some shards of home-made chocolate which were exceedingly strong. These are for people who think Lindt 85% needs more punch.

We tried a few teas, including single herb teas such as Ginger and the signature ‘Valley Chai’ which contains Cardamon, Clove buds, Black Pepper, Ginger, Cinnamon, Darjeeling, Bay leaves, Ginger, Licorice, Nutmeg, Peppercorns and Star Anise - delicious.

High tea costs between $35 and $42.50 depending on the day and whether or not you include the Harris Organic Champagne.

The High Teas are proving very popular, so you will need to book. Booking forms can be downloaded from the website, which is well worth a browse anyway.

Very Highly Recommended.

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COMMUNITY ELLENBROOK MENS SHED JOHN WINCOTT

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llenbrook and District Mens Shed Association Inc is a community based, non-commercial, ATO registered charitable organization which is accessible to all men in the Ellenbrook and District area over the age of eighteen years.

Our primary aim is to provide a friendly welcoming and safe, environment where men are able to work on meaningful projects at their own pace in the company of other like-minded men.

We also offer a place for company, support and advice to men who may be in a transition stage of their lives – recently moved; other abled, between jobs, divorced, separated, suffering from depression, or social isolation.

They can simply drop in for a cuppa and a chat.

If they wish to use the workshop and are unsure of the workings of our machines, instruction is available. Even if they are proficient we still need to check them out as a duty of care. Membership is still open and growing and new enquiries are welcomed.

The shed is open on Tues: Wed: Thurs from 10.00 am to 3.00pm and enquiries can be made by calling in at the Office on any of those days and times. A member will be available to answer queries and show prospective members around.

Other days of opening , including Saturdays, will be considered if there is sufficient demand. Our address is at 4 Transit Way Ellenbrook.

The Ellenbrook Shed Association was started by a small group of enthusiasts in 2010 using meeting rooms at Coolamon.

After eighteen months, the Association gained a donation of the land from LWP and a grant from Lotterywest to allow the purchase and erection of the present shed building in late 2012.

Membership remained small whilst all the necessary occupation and working

permits were obtained ; machinery located, and then cleaned, repaired, and installed.

Much of this machinery was donated by local firms and private individuals in the Ellenbrook area, (but some came from as far away as Busselton! ).This led us to the format of the fully equipped workshop which exists today.

We continue to move on, with significant increases to membership, and advances in gaining the trust of the Ellenbrook and surrounding 6

district community.

For example, members carried out a major project from the State Equestrian Centre to refurbish all their show-jumping equipment, which took a period of four months.

We have further projects in hand for Midland Library, and the City of Swan, plus other projects for private individuals and small local firms. We are even machining parts for a light aeroplane being built by a private individual in the area from a kit, and maintain an active continuing programme to enable members access to private work.

The next phase is to extend the building to enable us to do metalwork under cover. This will separate these activities from the woodworking machinery.

We have

wives and partners.

Visitors and members all agreed that the event had been very well organized and a short dedication took place to rename our meeting room in memory of Dr Sam Bada who was our inaugural patron. A plaque was unveiled by Mrs Fadzie Bada, our current

patron.

The workshop was formally opened with the unveiling of a further plaque by Mr. Danny Murphy CEO of LWP who has been of great assistance to the association since its inception.

Postal: P.O. Box 2704, Ellenbrook, WA 6069 e-mail: ellenbrookwa@wamsa.org.au; website : http://ellenbrook.wamsa.org.au/ found that flames; sparks; and welding activities tend not to mix too well with wood!

We shall be installing a LAN connected to the Net, to help instruct our members in the use of computers , the internet, word processing and the use of spreadsheets.

Both of these expansions activities have been facilitated by a new Lotterywest grant. We shall also be updating some of the original donated tools and machinery to bring it in line with modern standards.

To formally launch the Shed in the community, Friday14th November saw us hold a somewhat belated Official Opening day which was attended by representatives of the City of Swan, LWP, our State MP’s, Ellenbrook Library, Midland Library, WAMSA, , our donors , representatives of various local organisations plus our members and their

DINING OUT

The Thoughts of an Ageing, Balding Foodie

variations, including chicken or smoked salmon. I have seen strips of steak and other more robust flavours, but I think that destroys the original conception of the dish

by Ceasar Cardini.

Anyway, that’s my test - Padbury’s passed to with absolutely flying colours - a poached egg, still warm with a glorious runny yoke replaced the coddled egg (which I can’t stand anyway) the anchovies providing a subtle

DINNER AT PADBURYS DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

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egular readers of this column will recall that I reported on the High Tea I enjoyed at Padbury’s in Guildford. That was so good that I immediately began plans for dinner there.

I was convinced that it would be something a bit special as the high tea was both imaginative and very well executed.

So the four of us dropped in on Friday evening to sample the goodies on offer.

The place is licensed with a good range of wines not very much above bottle shop prices and an excellent range of soft drinks and waters. I particularly like their Antipodes sparkling water.

The menu also reflects the restaurant’s concern that all diners have a good experience.

Pushed to find a label I think Classic Fine Dining would do admirably. The decor is olde worlde, which blends seamlessly with the 1864 building with its high pressed tin ceilings and Jarrah floorboards worn and polished to a deep patina.

The napery is crisp white linen, as are the napkins, the glasses large and polished to perfection. Attention to detail is important to diners, and even more so to Padbury’s.

One of the ways you can easily test any kitchen or chef’s competence is to order a simple dish that is easy to get wrong. My personal favourites are French Onion Soup (which almost no one has on the menu any more) or Caesar Salad.

The classic Caesar Salad is made with Cos lettuce, anchovies, coddled egg, olive oil, fresh crushed garlic, salt, fresh-ground black pepper and lemon juice - freshly squeezed, Worcestershire sauce, croutons and shaved Parmesan cheese.

The trick is the freshness and careful balance between the various ingredients. There are many

but definite note to the whole symphony of elegance and deliciousness ($18.50).

A very handsome portion as an entreé James had to help me finish it, as well as his own excellent Bruschetta ($14.50), which he hoovered off the plate in short order.

The Bruchetta consisted of marinated diced tomato, red onion, capers and basil with a balsamic vinegar reduction and garlic olive oil on grilled Ciabatta bread, beautifully presented.

I’m ignoring Angela’s Prawn Avocado salad ($21.50) of grilled tiger prawns, avocado, mixed salad leaves, balsamic infused mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, julienned beetroot, spanish onion, with crispy wonton skin and sweet chilli lemon lime dressing and Jess’ vegetarian grilled local field mushrooms, pesto, garlic bread with a small pear and Parmesan cheese salad, called Big Field ($16.50) not because they weren’t great - they were - but because I want to talk about my lamb.

Angela had for her main the Chilli Garlic Prawns which comes in three degrees - mild, medium or hot. You can have the dish either as an entreé ($21.50) or mains ($28.50). Angela had it mild, and rich and delicious it was, too.

BUT, my rack of lamb, described on the menu as ‘herb-crusted flame grilled lamb racks served with carrot puree, potato mash, grilled vegetables, crispy sweet potato and a red wine jus.’ ($38.50) To me, this was the perfect dish,

encompassing everything every dish should be. Simple, top quality ingredients cooked to perfection and allowed to speak for themselves, the flavours enhanced, not hidden, by the herbs and jus.

The vegetables, an unusual variety were delicious and the mashed potato, deeply garlicy, a perfect accompaniment.

James had the Barramundi ($35) - crispy skin local Barramundi served with spiced coleslaw, asparagus, micro herb salad, honey mustard seed and herb vinaigrette delicious, light and poached in the classic French style in court-boullion.

We all had dessert, which was probably a very bad idea as we were all pretty well stuffed with beautiful food, but it was hard to resist Sticky Date Pudding and Chocolate Fondant.

Padbury’s is now one of my absolute favourite five top restaurants.

SUMMARY Decor - Excellent (chairs slightly uncomfortable after three hours).

Wine List - Excellent.

Service - Beyond excellent. Swift, courteous and efficient.

Food - Outstanding.

Presentation - Outstanding.

Price - on the higher side, but outstanding value for money.

Very Highly Recommended Indeed.

7

THE VOICE OF SWAN HILLS DELIVERING RESULTS IN 2014

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ith 2014’s end fast approaching; I thought you might be interested in a summary of some of the achievements seen in and around Swan Hills throughout the year.

In January 2014, Deputy Prime Minister and Federal Minister for Infrastructure Warren Truss visited Swan Hills to reaffirm commitment to the $1.12 billion NorthLink WA project, which includes the Swan Valley Bypass.

The project now includes grade separations along Tonkin Highway at Benara Road, Morley Drive and Collier Road, ensuring trucks will have a clear run through to our city’s major road network.

This will remove a significant amount of heavy traffic from the Valley, making it easier for businesses and more appealing for tourists.

Detailed project planning for NorthLink WA is underway through to August 2015, with construction scheduled to begin in 2016 with completion anticipated in 2019. As for other transport initiatives benefitting Swan Hills residents, we’ve seen the upgraded Lord Street/Reid Highway interchange opened and State Government-­funded works along Gnangara Road are underway.

These are important access routes for Swan Hills residents, and I look forward to the Gnangara Road upgrades making life easier for a number of residents within my electorate. Works along Toodyay Road have now started from Roe Highway to Lewis Jones Cross, as well as near The Springs Road, with planning for more significant works to the Noble Falls area underway.

In other news affecting the Swan Valley, we have seen a Bill passed through the Legislative Assembly that protects growers who are involved in secondary production (such as turning grapes into wine) without losing their land tax exemptions for their primary production. Both myself and Andrea Mitchell, Member for Kingsley, were active regarding this issue, and I look forward to seeing it become legislation when it passes through the Legislative Council in the near future.

Another issue raised by growers in the Valley was the implementation of the Emergency Services Levy. I raised a grievance to Hon Joe Francis, Minister for Emergency Services, voicing the

FRANK ALBAN MLA

With Deputy Prime Minister Warren Truss and former Minister for Transport Troy Buswell in the Swan Valley, January 2014

concerns of Valley growers, and I hope to see some benefit when the results of this year’s review into the Emergency Services Act are released.

Following the tragic fire that razed the communities of Stoneville, Parkerville and Mount Helena, Western Power mobilised 52 crews to the area, installing 155 poles and 9km of power lines in order to replace damaged infrastructure.

While outages were necessary during these repairs, they brought forward planned works to ensure that residents experience less service interruptions following the blaze.

The dedicated members of East Gidgegannup Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade received a new light tanker from the Department of Fire and Emergency Services, and I advocated to the Minister for Transport to allow for overtime to ensure our guys were able to sit the Medium Ridge licence assessments to allow them to drive it. Thanks to the great work of Chidlow volunteer Derek Jones for preparing all the guys, and congratulations on the results!

Lotterywest has provided support for a significant number of groups within Swan Hills, with the RAAF Cadets, Mundaring Arts Centre, the Swan Hills Photography Club and Mundaring Men’s Shed all receiving support from this unique State Government grants program.

Aveley Primary School and Eastern Hills Senior High School become Independent Public Schools in 2015, joining Sawyers Valley Primary School and Bullsbrook College who are already part of the IPS program.

Speaking of Bullsbrook College, they held their official opening in September, with Premier Colin Barnett on campus to open school after its $23.6 million upgrades.

In addition, Ellenbrook Secondary College will be also be an IPS as of 2015, something the school has strived to become since my first term of Government when Ellenbrook was part of Swan Hills.

By no means does this cover everything, and I’ll provide an update on what we’re currently working on in next month’s column.

Unit 8 Vale Town Centre 31 Egerton Drive Aveley WA 6069 Phone: 9296 7688

With Premier Colin Barnett and Principal Bernadette Jones at the opening of Bullsbrook College, September 2014 8

Email: frank.alban@mp.wa.gov.au

NIGHT SKY DECEMBER

NOTES FROM PARLIAMENT HON ALYSSA HAYDEN MLC Member for East Metropolitan R egion

GREG LOWE

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f you're looking for the right Christmas gift for the astro-nut in your family, consider getting a copy of Astronomy 2015, the astronomy almanac.

Or a nice Australian planisphere - a gadget to show what stars are visible and when, at any time of night and on any date throughout the year. Your smart-phone app can't do that.

The Observatory has a range of astronomical items in its little shop - books, posters, puzzles, globes and planispheres. Now, with the summertime stars coming into view, we're hoping for more clear nights; the last couple of months have been pretty cloudy. The public viewing sessions will really take off after New Year.

Early in the month the moon is the dominant evening object. Full moon's on the 6th - on that date at 7pm, the moon will be coming up in the ENE as the sun's going down in the WSW. After the 6th, the moon's on the wane. The major phases for December are: full moon on the 6th, last quarter on the 14th, new moon on the 22nd, and first quarter on the 29th. The first full moon of the new year will be on January 5th.

The longest days of the year are heading our way. The summer solstice is on the 22nd. While that's the longest day at 14 hours and 15 minutes, the day length is over 14 hours from sunrise to sunset for the entire month. Actually, for Perth the day length is 14 hours or more, from November 27th right through to January 16th. Not good news for those of us who aren't fond of summer.

If you should wonder what the evening skyscape will have to recommend it at Christmas time, there'll be the waxing crescent moon to the right of Mars at nightfall, with Venus low down in the WSW. On Christmas Night, that is.

On Christmas Eve the skinny crescent moon will be visible, but lower down. The shadowed dark side of the moon - the side where the sunlight isn't - will be dimly illuminated by "earthshine" which is simply sunlight that's reflected back off the Earth. Our planet, with its oceans and its clouds, is quite reflective. The moon's not: its surface is dark rock which reflects less than 10% of the sunlight that falls on it.

Venus will be setting about an hour after the sun from mid-December on, and it's more than bright enough to be seen through the western twilight. It'll be further from the sun and easier to see in January, and will be the "evening star" until next August. Mars is higher up in the western sky at dusk, but only looks like a medium-bright star with a slightly orange hue.

Jupiter will come into the evening sky soon, though not in the early evening. In early December the giant planet will rise from the ENE around midnight and be high in the NNE at daybreak.

Mid-month will find it rising an hour earlier and standing high in the north at first light.

By month's end Jupiter will be rising around 10pm, culminating high in the north at about 3:15am, and standing out in the NNW at break of day.

Compliments of the Season to you all.

Courtesy of The Perth Observatory

T

FRONTLINE 2020 NEW POLICING MODEL

he biggest change to policing in our State came It was even more pleasing to hear the Midland into operation at the Central Metropolitan Police Station officer-in-charge Senior Sergeant District on 1st December 2014.

Craig Davis advise forum participants that crime in Midland had reduced by 22%.

Midland will be the base for seven local policing teams of which two will focus on Midland.

One team will cover Caversham, Viveash, Woodbridge, Guildford and South Guildford.

The second team will cover Midvale and Stratton. Mobile phone numbers for individual suburbs will be listed on the WA Police website and all local police teams will have twitter accounts.

The new policing model The new 2020 Frontline policing model was means we will see more police out on the outlined at a community forum at the Midland frontline, working in the community.

Town Hall, conducted by the Acting Minister for Police Hon John Day and Deputy Commissioner Stephen Brown with WA Police.

Midland, Mundaring Forrestfield and Ellenbrook will form part of the new central metropolitan district that combines the central May I take this opportunity to wish all Swan and east metro districts.

Magazine readers a very happy and relaxing Our Government has worked closely with Christmas for 2014 and a safe, healthy New Year.

WA Police to progress the Frontline 2020 Reform I look forward to another eventful year ahead Program. The model emphasises police building representing the East Metropolitan Region. even stronger connections with local communities and reducing demand for policing services by Advertisement addressing crime problems before they get worse.

This model is about getting ahead of crime, Your local Liberal instead of simply responding to it after it has East Metropolitan happened.

Importantly, police will continue to be there Members of Parliament when you need them the most. Midland will be the base for one of the large response teams being established to respond to calls for police assistance.

A large detective team will also be housed in Midland. This means that local policing teams are free to concentrate on the issues that cause problems in the first place.

Hon Helen Morton MLC Our State Government has committed an Ph: (08) 9452 8311 extra 550 officers over this term of government Fax: (08) 9452 8366 of which 200 will be detectives to help solve more helen.morton@mp.wa.gov.au complicated crimes right across the metropolitan area.

The new model has been successfully running in the southern suburbs with crime going Hon Donna Faragher MLC down and public satisfaction going up, as those Ph: (08) 9379 0840 communities get a closer connection with their Fax: (08) 9379 0845 local police teams. donna.faragher@mp.wa.gov.au Midland will benefit from this interaction as it is a focal point for much of the eastern suburbs and hills area. There are some well-known pressure points for Police in Midland, such as Hon Alyssa Hayden MLC the Midland Gate Shopping Centre, Centrepoint Ph: (08) 9274 8484 Shopping Centre and the Midland train station.

Fax: (08) 9274 7874 It has been pleasing to see Police tackling alyssa.hayden@mp.wa.gov.au those hot-spots in recent times through Operation Elektra, which targeted anti-social behaviour and alcohol-related violence.

Here to help!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

9

ART AND ARTISTS THE FESTIVE SEASON AT MUNDARING ART CENTRE

N

CLARE STROUD

ext time you are in Mundaring, look up at the brilliant new banners on display in the Memorial Rose Garden. A record eighteen banners were created from over 800 designs created by local Primary School students for this years’ Mundaring Environmental Art Project.

Responding to the theme Connection to Country the students’ researched and created banners that conveyed sustainable land management referencing traditional Aboriginal methods. They look awesome! Our thanks to all the students, teachers, parents and sponsors.

While you are in Mundaring, why not pop into the Arts Centre Shop for some fabulous Christmas gift ideas created right here in WA by a bunch of extremely talented artisans. We have a heap of new artists and stock for you to relish over!

You still have time to view our final exhibition for 2014, which comes direct from exhibiting in Queensland and is in partnership with Fibre Arts Australia. Exposition sees the work of twelve distinguished artists from Australia, Germany, the USA and the UK come together to showcase the talent of fibre and textile artists from around the world.

Starting with the definition of Exposition from the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary of 1933 (“EXPOSITION - The selection of some sensible object, in order to prove a general relation apprehended by the intellect.”), each artist was invited to create new works in response to a ‘sensible’ or common object – in this case, a small glass bottle, tagged with a weathered label and containing the remnants of a forgotten substance.

Glenys Mann, exhibiting artist, exhibition curator and CEO of Fibre Arts Australia said: “(The artists) were encouraged to use the image as a catalyst for new work… All took different approaches to what they saw and what they thought about the bottle…it was expected…but not quite the way that you would have imagined.”

Exhibiting artists work across a range of media including fibre, textiles, metal, timber and found objects. The artists include Christine Atkins and Pam Fisher from Western Australia, with fellow Australians Kay Faulkner, Elizabeth Lada Gray, Glenys Mann, Deb McArdle and Estelle

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Virgen and international artists Heike Gerbig (Germany); Mary Hettmansperger and Diane Savona (United States of America); Cas Holmes and Dionne Swift (Unitede Kingdom).

GALLERY 2 For December, Gallery 2 has a change of pace with Stoneville jeweller Betty McKeough setting up her Material Girl residency (5-21 December).

McKeough transforms a collection of raw materials into new jewellery forms, working with kiln fired vitreous enamels, fold-formed and anodised metals, fabrics, rubber and resin-set objects. McKeough will be in residence Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, 11am-3pm.

McKeough will host a children’s workshop on the 20th December to introduce manipulation and pattern-making techniques for metal. The workshop is suitable for students aged ten and over and runs from 11am2pm (Bookings essential).

Other workshops include story basket making with Pam Fisher on 6 December and a fascinating talk with Christine Atkins and Betty McKeough on 11 December. To find out more, contact the Arts Centre on 9295 3991 or online, www.mundaringartscentre.com.au

From everyone at Mundaring Arts Centre, we would like to take this opportunity to thank all our members, friends and volunteers for their support in 2014 and to wish everyone a safe and merry festive season.

The Arts Centre will be closing for summer from Christmas Day until Saturday 14 February when we reopen with the 2015 Shire of Mundaring Art Acquisition invited exhibition, curated by Ricky Arnold.

Exposition and Material Girl continue until Sunday 21 December 2014 at the Mundaring Arts Centre. Entry is free and the Gallery and Shop are open Tuesday-Friday 10am–5pm; Saturday-Sunday 11am–3pm until Christmas Day (closed Mondays except 22 December).

For further information and bookings, please contact 9295 3991 or visit the website: www.mundaringartscentre.com.au.

ART AND ARTISTS CALLIGRAPHY AS ART “Life is a great big canvas and we should throw on it all the paint we can”. aughingly, comedian and actor Danny Kay summed up with his tongue in cheek his zest for life - celebrate everything, the gifts big and small, the wonders of nature and search for those magical moments between the challenges and disappointments of life’s ebb and flow.

Perhaps that is what an artist emulates from their very being, the highs, lows and fluctuations of our journey.

Yes, we do paint some of ourselves into the canvas, along with current affairs, our changing environment, the pleasant and the ugly with our thoughts and emotions.

So what are we trying to do then if our pictures are not all pretty?

Ultimately, the aim of the artist is to cause an interest, make you walk from the other side of the room to closely journey your eye around and over it, explore, discover and reveal things that are ambiguously subtle.

To cause a conversation whether it’s pretty or ugly, beholds great content or not, or even if your heart melts or cries. If it gets you talking about it, thinking and being emotionally moved then it has fulfilled the objective.

Provoking and challenging the viewer is the point and quite often,

JUDITH ANN the bigger the uproar about it the better.

The wonderful thing is that everyone is an art critic even if those pictures you prefer are pretty ones. And when looking at how much colour has been thrown on the canvas next time ask yourself if your buzzer has been pushed, if you have had a disagreeable conversation or an appreciative one and have you had an emotional experience?

And upon your drive through Midland andthose quirky people sculptures standing on the street come into view, ask yourself what are they about and why are they there?

T h e same question can be asked about the coloured concrete panels on the Great Eastern Highway underpass with all those bright lime green and yellow colours; what’s the point?

Perhaps it’s Danny Kay throwing some colour on our life and calling forth an emotion or conversation!

I like to think that art is a ‘show and tell’ of what’s happening in the world, around the artist and the message trying to be delivered within to you the viewer.

There was a point in my life where I only worked in black and white for a time, and now the

colour is thrown in with texture to create grounds of feelings.

There are many media to throw your colour on the canvas with and mine just happens to be the power of the word.

How I use that word, express it by boldness and weight of the letter or the way it may dance across the page causes an emotion in you.

You also are required to interrogate, look within and read the messages between the overlays and underlay.

I quite often find it a thrill when the message within has several meanings to different people and their answer is relevant because they have enrolled in reading and enquiring.

My calligraphy searches for meaning, emotion and the grace of the written curve.

Perhaps I write about the rhythm of our lives with nibs trailing ablaze in colour before I reach that big canvas in the sky, I’m throwing turquoise on my canvas this Christmas; what about you?

Courtesy of Beautiful Writing Studio.

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BOOKS AND WRITING WA WRITING WINNERS

A

BANKER JOHN

FOR SALE

SOPHIE CIVITICO

cclaimed West Australian writer Shane McCauley has been awarded first prize in the 2014 Glen Philips Poetry Prize for his entry, The Six Elements of Han Style.

The national competition, conducted annually by the Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre Inc., attracted many poets of assorted ages and varying calibre.

Jackson (WA) was awarded second prize for her entry, skinvisible and Jenny Blackford (NSW) received third prize for, The Great Beast.

The Judge’s Encouragement Award for Youth (12-18 years) was won by Anna Monaghan (WA) for her entry, “A Swimmer”.

The judge for this year was Dr. Marcella Polain, Senior Lecturer at Edith Cowan University.

Dr. Polain commented in her judge’s report that McCauley’s poem was ‘marvellously researched, conceived and executed’ and acted as a ‘historic/cultural comment without ever

sacrificing its primary purpose.’

A Highly Commended award was received by Kevin Gillam (WA) for Chamber musing.

Commended recipients were Madeleine Tingey (WA) for Port City and Shane McCauley (WA) for Ulysses S. Grant visits the Noh Theatre, 1879.

Acting President of the Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre Susan Stevens said ‘it is always rewarding to see West Australian poets performing so strongly in this national competition, particularly when the competition is judged ‘blind’ with all entrants providing a pen name with their poem for the judging process.’

For more information about writing courses, workshops or writing groups, contact Peter Cowan Writers’ Centre Inc. on (08) 9301 2282, or email the Centre on cowan05@bigpond.com.

Copies are for sale of this charming autobiography written by local identity John Edgecombe. $20 plus postage and handling.

Phone: 9296 7780 Email: edgecombejn@eftl.net.au Web: www.swanmagazine.com.au/books

Have a book to publish? v Family History v Non-Fiction v Autobiography v Biography v Fantasy v Fiction v Poetry Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing from professional editors First consultation free Free quotes

Swinburne Press (founded 1989) P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

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L-R: Kevin Gillam, Jackson and Shane McCauley

KSP - WHAT’S ON KATHARINE’S BIRTHDAY Sunday 7th December, 11am-4pm Please join us at Katharine’s Place for our special end-of-year celebrations. You are warmly invited to take part in the Awards Ceremonies of three annual competitions, namely the KSP Speculative Fiction Award, the Karen W Treanor Poetry Award and the KSP Short Fiction Award.

Many of these winners will share with us extracts of their winning stories. The day will also present a tribute to Katharine and give free tours of the heritage-listed house and garden (11.30am and 2.50pm).

A delicious lunch and afternoon tea will be available for a gold coin donation, plus a range of giftware and raffles will be on sale. If you are interested in joining a writing group, volunteering or learning more about the Centre’s program, this is a great chance to find out more and chat with Committee members.

Everybody is welcome to join us for this special occasion! Cost: Free

WHAT KSP CAN OFFER YOU KSP is a wonderful, inspiring community of writers. It is a place for every level of writer, so whether you are just starting out, interested in writing as an enjoyable past-time only, or have big dreams to become published, this is the place to be!

PROGRAM HIGHLIGHTS FOR 2015 • Gifts vouchers for new and renewing members • Great variety of writing groups • Short courses on manuscript editing and social media • Online course on ‘Practical Creativity’ • Manuscript assessment service • Workshops galore, including Life Writing, Historical Fiction and Breaking Writer’s Block • Gourmet dinners at the KSP Café • Free private mentorships (members only) • Youth program including workshops and a writing ‘camp’ • Writing competitions Enquiries: 08 9294 1872 / kspf@iinet.net.au

GARDENING DECEMBER GARDEN WORK

T

he gardening year is nearly over but there are still jobs to do in the Perth garden during December before relaxing over Christmas.

Vegetables to plant in December include – capsicum, eggplant, lettuce, tomato, zucchini, beetroot, celery and pumpkin.

Flowers to plant in December include – portulaca, sunflower, begonia, marigold, petunia, verbena, salvia and impatiens.

SAWS AND MOWERS

cnr

Pinch out tips to encourage lots of new growth

Grt Est Hwy & Chipper St, Mundaring

9295 2466

v Cover your worm farm with damp hessian to keep it cool and shaded v Keep an eye on any new plantings. Nursery plants are constantly watered so you need to give new plants extra water until their root system has established

v Check irrigation systems to ensure they are CHECKLIST December is a great time to attend to the all working properly, with all spray heads and drippers running freely following tasks:

~ Sales ~ Spares ~

Repairs

v Protect ferns from burning sun and strong v Top up mulches to reduce moisture loss and winds. Maiden Hair ferns don’t like to dry out at moderate soil temperatures during summer. It also helps to suppress weeds all v Add mulch to outdoor potted plants to v Ripen green tomatoes by placing them on a sunny window sill conserve water Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy v Watch for fungal diseases on roses and vegies. New Year!

Help keep plants healthy by removing disease Courtesy of GardenGals affected leaves v Blue-green algae affects ponds and stagnant water in summer and pets should not be allowed to drink from these as it can cause illness

POOL HEATING GEOFF FRANCIS

I

n our last article I spoke of the benefits and v Harvest leafy green vegetables when the some of the pitfalls of heating, or really just leaves are small and young and harvest often warming your pool to extend the comfortable usage period. v Bundle pots together for easier watering, There are several options on how this can be especially if someone is looking after your garden achieved. while you are away Solar Heating, also known as Roof Tube heating, provides the most cost effective method v When harvesting Basil, take a bit from each in terms of heat transfer but does need a bigger plant rather than stripping one. than normal pump to move the water through the system.

Your existing pump may do the trick but it takes a lot of energy pumping water through the filter and up over the roof of your house.

It is often practical to have a separate pump for the heating system which bypasses the filter and can be run independently.

This saves electricity and filters. However GEOFF FRANCIS the physical layout of your pool and house roof n recent articles I have spoken of various are significant factors in getting the right pump Ride on mower types and the advantages and system to achieve economical results. disadvantages of wider cutting decks.

Next month we have a look at Electric and gas When selecting a mower for your property fired heaters. also be aware of the two basic types of cutter Courtesy of Eastern Hills Pool Supplies decks. ie; Fabricated deck or pressed metal deck.

In general a pressed deck, which is basically a sheet of steel pressed into shape, is adequate for most mowing situations.

The fabricated deck is a much heavier steel flat plate with a welded skirt around the edge.

Fabricated decks cost more, but are far heavier duty and will take quite a bit more of a belting in rough going.

Hence , it is wise to discuss your mowing situation with the supplier befure you decide on the machine that looks so good on the showroom floor.

Courtesy of Eastern Hills Saws and Mowers

PRESSED VS FABRICATED

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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPP Karen Verrall from Resononate wishes all her clients a Safe and Merry Christmas “What you do today can improve all your tomorrows” - Ralph Marston 0499 555 791

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Ken Wyatt MP Federal Member for Hasluck

ris tm as Wi sh ing yo u a Me rry Ch an d a Ha pp y Ne w Yea r!

Authorised by K Wyatt, 10/12 Forrestfield Marketplace, 80 Hale Rd, Forrestfield WA, 6058.

The Publisher, Editor and Staff of Swan Magazine wish all our readers

Merry Christmas and a Would like to thank all our customers for their patronage during the year and wish you a

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year

Mundaring and Ellenbrook

Wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year

Happy New Year Please note our office is closed until Tuesday, January 6th 2015

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year From all at HKY Real Estate Mr Wayne Bull, Principal, La Salle College staff and students wish you a Joyous and Blessed Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year Please take extra care on the roads this Christmas.

My office will be closed from Monday 21 December 2014 and will reopen Monday 5 January 2015.

- Frank and Shauna Alban, family and staff

Authorised by F Alban, Unit 8, 31 Egerton Drive, Aveley, 6069

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PY NEW YEAR NOT SOCKS, AGAIN? LESLIE HERBERT

I

think we can all agree that Christmas loses something of its gloss about the time we go from putting carrots out for Santa’s reindeer to worrying if the turkey will be big enough for all the family.

Having said that, there is still enough of a small child inside all of us at the sight of a gaily wrapped present with our name on.

It would take a pre-reformation Scrooge to push a present to one side with a ‘bah, humbug’ without a surreptitious squeeze to see if it really is a book or maybe a box of chocolates.

The pressure is on at this time of year to spend, spend, spend. But on what? Surely Dad doesn’t want Argyle socks again? Mind you he must love them, he has so many pairs.

And maybe Granny may not want yet another bottle of 4711 Lavender Water, despite her big smile when she opens it.

Most of these gaffes can be avoided with just a little more thought, and a little less running around like a turkey as Thanksgiving approaches.

Book collectors are the absolute easiest - book tokens. Forget the idea that the gift’s impersonal - impersonal is very much better than getting your fifth copy of Fifty Shades of Grey (a hairdressing manual, I am given to understand).

If you don’t want to hand over an envelope, try buying an on-line certificate from ABE Books or The Book Depository websites. Both of these at centralised websites with access to the stocks of literally thousands of book shops all over the world and there is almost no book not obtainable in almost any condition from them from ratty reading copies to pristine first editions inscribed by the author.

If the intended recipient of the gift you think would like something computer-y, you cannot do better than visit the website www.thinkgeek.com - which has everything for your favourite geek from Star Wars Glowing Lightsabre Ice Popsicle makers to the Bat’leth Letter Opener (a Klingon sword, thank you very much) and a Death Star tea infuser.

For the more family minded, a group family portrait is a gift that gives forever. Time goes by so swiftly that in the blink of an eye that toddler today becomes the Iron Man star tomorrow and a family man with children of his own next week.

A family photo now keeps that memory green for all time. Verge Studios have the hugely talented Kate Sanders-Tye and a sitting costs less than you would expect.

For the more traditional gift of an ornament or decoration unusual gifts can be found at Willow House in Sawyers Valley where they specialise in the unusual collectable and shabby chic.

Flowers are a lovely gift. Potted plants are a much better idea and Phalenopsis orchids are freely available now and easy to care for and the flowers last on the plant for months as well as looking elegant and attractive. Many ferns are suitable for indoors and Bunnings has a good range, as well as the exotic-looking and opulent Gloxinias and African Violets.

Wine lovers are easy to buy for here in the Perth Hills and Swan Valley. Good boutique wineries abound and you can have a great deal of pleasure shopping and browsing through what’s on offer.

Craft markets are a great place to find unique, good quality, handmade gifts for Christmas and best of all you’re supporting local businesses and artisans.

There’s nothing worse than walking around a shopping mall all day looking for “the perfect present” only to buy some generic meaningless gift that will likely end up in the back of a cupboard somewhere.

Rotary sponsors and organises Craft markets both in Midland and Mundaring as well as the Guildford Heritage Markets.

In addition many of the wineries have art for sale and craft, too, as do many local restaurants.

Everything we have spoken about so far costs actual money, but as my old mum used to say, ‘The best gift you can give is your time’. So if money is tight, or even if it isn’t, think about giving your loved ones certificates redeemable for ‘a back rub’, or ‘a trip to the beach’, or even ‘a hug’.

For elderly relatives the offer of a shopping outing once a month is of far more use than a new toaster, or a chocolate fountain.

Home-made gifts are not a cheap way out, but for every stitch in a home-made jumper, or every line in a drawing of the family dog, the person creating it has been thinking of you.

The one thing you should never, ever buy as a surprise gift is an animal. Never give anything alive as a gift without discussing it with the person you’re giving it to, understanding that a ‘kitten isn’t just for Christmas’.

And if you have discussed it and they really want, and will look after, a companion animal, do please think about a rescue animal, rather than buying from a pet shop. SAFE and the Cat Haven have a very wide range of lovely animals looking for homes.

But whatever you do, however much or however little you spend, please be kind to one another and remember those who do not have a family at this, the most family time of the year.

Be safe, happy and have a wonderful festive season.

The Golly Emporium and Toy Museum The Old Stationmaster’s House 61 Stirling Terrace, Toodyay

Gollies, Giftware, Homewares Coffee, Devonshire Teas High Teas 0421 113 620

Wednesday ~ Sunday and Public Holidays 10:00am and 4:00pm Entry by donation All museum profits to Princess Margaret Hospital

Greetings this Christmas

from your local calligrapher Judith Ann

for the hand written gift 0421 4 19 3 05

www.beautifulwriting.com.au 15

ENTERTAINMENT KOOKABURRA BACK - DECEMBER/JANAURY PROGRAMME DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

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ell, after an extensive (and expensive) renovation that delayed the opening of the Hills popular venue, owner Linday Morris has advised that Kooraburra will be re-opening with a lovely film, The 100 Foot Journey, on Friday the 26th December, Boxing Day night.

Come along and see what all the work has achieved. Fridays are nights when kids movies are being screened and once school holidays are over Kookaburra will revert to one movie over three nights.

If there is enough support the kids nights may become a regular thing. Many parents have asked for this, so if you want it to continue, turn up and enjoy good family entertainment under the stars.

The programme is both varied and interesting:

Rio II (PG).

January, Friday 2nd ONLY Animated kids comedy.

The animals are at it again heading to Rio. Magic In The Moonlight (PG) January, Saturday 3rd, Sunday 4th Romantic Drama by Woody Allen Starring: Colin Firth.

their lengthy strike of the National Union of Mineworkers in the summer of 1984. The miners are not too happy with that idea.

Boxtrolls (PG) January, Friday 16th ONLY Animated kids comedy.

Voiced by Ben Kingsley & Jared Harris.

A young orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors tries to save his friends from an evil exterminator. Based on the children's novel Here Be Monsters by Alan Snow.

Planes, Fire & Rescue (G) January, Friday 9th ONLY Animated kids action.

Topical action film with water bombing aircraft The Love Punch (M) January, Saturday 17th and Sunday 18th. fighting bushfires etc.

UK Comedy.

Starring: Emma Thompson, Pierce Brosnan, Celia Pride (M) The 100 Foot Journey (PG) Imrie & Timothy Spall.

January, Saturday 10th, Sunday 11th.

December, Friday 26th, Saturday 27th and Sunday Drama/Comedy A divorced couple scheme to recover the 28th. retirement money that was stolen from them.

Starring: Bill Nighy & Imelda Staunton.

Comedy U.K. gay activists work to help miners during This film has not been screened in WA before.

Starring: Helen Mirren, Om Puri.

The Kadam family leaves India for France where they open a restaurant directly across the road MAUREEN DE LA HARPE from Madame Mallory's Michelin-starred eatery.

Madam is not impressed.

ESCAPE THE PRE-CHRISTMAS MADNESS WITH SONG

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Swan Harmony L-R: Maureen de la Harpe, Dee Musson, Sue O’Sullivan, Anna Wright and Chris Durrant.

hat’s the perfect antidote to that preChristmas rush?

Put down your ‘to-do’ list for a while and spend a relaxing, foot-tapping afternoon listening to classic jazz and pop favourites performed by Swan Harmony Singers.

And after the show, you can enjoy a scrumptious afternoon tea while chatting with choir members.

It’s all happening on Sunday 14 December at the Salvation Army Church Hall, 371Morrison Rd, Swan View (opposite Swan View Primary School).

There’s parking at the back of the hall and on the street.

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The program will include numbers linked forever with the names of musical greats like Frank Sinatra, Barbara Streisand, Simon and Garfunkel and Abba.

The concert starts at 2pm and afternoon tea is included in the ticket price. Tickets: Adults $15, Concessions $12, groups of 10 or more $100.

Children under 10 free. For more information or to make an advance booking, call Chris Rotheram on 9298 9529 or 0435 062 728.

Swan Harmony Singers is a community choir that meets weekly in Swan View, and will warmly welcome new members (especially men) at the beginning of the New Year.

ENTERTAINMENT KISS ME KATE - REVIEW DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

W

hen the Darlington Theatre Players announced a year of Shakespeare for 2014 (William's 450th birthday, in case you spent the year on another planet) the programme said they would end with Kiss Me Kate.

Kiss Me Kate, of course, is loosely, very loosely, based on The Taming of The Shrew and is seldom performed by theatrical companies any more, despite a recent revival on Broadway that played to packed houses and was a huge critical and financial success.

Partly, I think, this is because in these sensitive days the theme of gentle, submisssive wives and strong, dominant husbands not above paddling the recalcitrant bottom is less acceptable than it might have been in the Bard of Avon's time.

However, the DTP also announced that this charming, overlooked, musical would be directed by Neroli Burton and one knew, with a sigh of contentment, that it would be all right.

And so it has proved. I attended the opening night along with a very healthy house and we were treated to probably the best community musical anywhere in the last few years.

A tricky musical to pull off as it requires four good singers and an above average chorus, along with a couple of songs sung as singles. Neroli was fortunate in her cast managing to snag a Musical Director of note (sorry about the pun) and a lead singer who could share a car to rehearsals.

Married couple Justin and Kathy Freind are well known in Perth musical circles and have both worked with Neroli many times, so the base was there. To this she has added some newcomers to Marloo's stage and some regular stalwarts.

The production, and it is little enough known to justify a quick resumĂŠ of the plot, is a play within a play. It is the 1940s, a divorced couple, Fred and Lilli, are mounting a production of The Taming of the Shrew in Baltimore and playing the leads Petruccio and Katherine.

A sub-plot centres on the juvenile leads, Lois and Bill, who are also a couple, although Lois has what some might call an hospitable heart. Bill has a problem with gambling, although it might be more accurate to say he has a problem with paying for his gambling.

Two debt collectors with no names but plenty of menace turn up to collect on their IOU. Lilli loves Fred, but is going to marry Harrison, Fred loves Lilli and wants to woo her back... now read on.

Marloo have produced and Neroli has directed what I would call a flawless production - some strange choices forced by necessity were made, but more importantly, made to work. With

only one exception the voices were excellent, musically strong and lovely.

The dancing, choreographed by WAAPA student Jessica Russell, was superb - just the right period feel, designed to make the very best of what in some cases might not be thought of as natural dancers the overall effect was just lovely and had the authentic period feel so difficult to describe, but so obvious when you see it.

Jessica is young and has, I think a glittering career as a choreographer in front of her if that's

what she chooses. I have seen her act and she's pretty good at that too.

Cole Porter's for Kiss Me Kate music is far better known than the musical is, and as the familiar songs appeared nods of appreciation and small gasps of recognition flowed out of the entranced audience. Wunderbar, Brush Up Your Shakespeare and many others you'll know as soon as the opening bars of Porter's marvellous music ring out.

Lilli, the temperamental, but ultimately sentimental, romantic lead was beautifully played by Kathy Freind, giving her customary professional performance as a singer/actor/ dancer. A little known fact is that Kathy (really Katherine) was named after this actual role by her mother who fell in love with the play when she saw it before Kathy's birth.

Kathy was admirably balanced in performance

by Chris Gerrish as Fred, someone I have not

seen on stage before, but whose performance, rich musical voice and wonderful, theatre-filling presence I thoroughly enjoyed. Easy to caricature, but Chris handled the tricky role so easily. His rendition of Where Is The Life That Late I Led?, was just sublime.

Sean Yeo as Bill was last seen in Perth as the eponymous king in The King and I at the Regal for the MS Society, ten years ago, but has not lost any of his skill - likeable, tuneful, you can see why Lois would fall for him.

And it's even easier to see why he would fall for her. Nyree Hughes was a knockout. In an exceedingly strong cast she almost stole the show from the moment when she signed in with a wiggle of her delectable bottom to the last drawn-out note of I'm Always True To You In My Fashion she was incandescent.

She also looked divine. A lovely, endearing performance.

And I think endearing is probably the best word to describe the whole production.

The wardrobe by Marjorie De Caux, Nyree Hughes and Rachel Vonk (also the female dance captain) was absolutely what was required - both as Elizabethean on-stage characters, and as 1940's actors backstage.

We see both, of course, the lavish set for the play within the play and the dingy backstage area as well as peaks inside the stars' dressing rooms. A marvel designed

by George Boyd, these transformations take place on stage before our astonished eyes as a massive truck (theatre jargon for large moveable set bits) folded in on itself to become two dressing rooms and then split, fold back and reappear as backstage - and all remarkably smooth and close to soundless.

The decor and decoration was immaculate. The scenic art and painting was

by Adrian Ashman and Owen Davis, who should take a pat on the back each. A massive round of applause for George's design and the work of his gang of helpers.

A special mention should be made of the comic turn, Gangsters One and Two, beautifully filled by Keith Scrivens and Alan Markham, having the time of their lives.

But most of all I want to pay tribute to the direction - Neroli made it look easy. Crowd control with a group of actors of mixed experience is never easy, but wherever you looked, when they were on stage they were acting.

Fidelity to the role was scrupulous, the big production numbers, a combination always of choreographer and director were faultless, and the essence of good direction, good choreography, good lighting, good sound is that nothing stands out, but that all blends into a seamless, magnificent whole.

And this Marloo's Kiss Me Kate does. If you don't see any other show this Christmas, do not miss Kiss Me Kate, if you do, you'll regret it for years to come.

Very Highly Recommended Indeed.

17

EDUCATION

18

GUILDFORD GRAMMAR SCHOOL NEWS END OF THE YEAR NEWS

O

DECEMBER AND JANUARY VACATION CARE PROGRAMS

SEASON’S GREETINGS

From everyone at Guildford ur Out of School Care Grammar School, we hope you have Centre offers a December a happy and safe Christmas and New and January Vacation Year.

Care Program, which is open to all families.

The program is full of exciting and interesting activities for the school holidays. Bookings are essential by contacting the Centre on 9377 9290.

Fees apply and places are limited.

2016 ACADEMIC AND MUSIC SCHOLARSHIPS NOW OPEN

Guildford Grammar School offers various Academic and Music Scholarships to boys entering Year 7 in 2016.

Nominations for the 2016 Academic and Music Scholarships are now open to boys who are currently in Year 5.

Further information on the Scholarships is available at www. ggs.wa.edu.au/Enrolments/ Scholarships.

Please contact the Registrar on (08) 9377 9247 or via registrar@ ggs.wa.edu.au if you would like further information.

Guildford Grammar School

Web: www.ggs.wa.edu.au Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ GuildfordGrammarSchool Twitter: https://twitter.com/GuildfordGramm

19

CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR PC

WHO AM I? P C SURGEON

T

he anonymizing effects of the Internet is smoke and mirrors.

Online anonymity is not a guarantee. Never has been; likely never will be.

There’s no solace in seeing myself as a byline and black words on a white page. (Editor: many aspiring writers may disagree) And there’s no safety in you regarding yourself simply as black and white characters typed into your email program.

Members of the hacktivist movement, Anonymous, will confirm internet ‘safety’ is a pipe-dream at best, and seriously delusional at worst.

Their leaders were eventually tracked, found, arrested and convicted. So much for their supposedly untraceable online activities!

CIA Director Gen. David Petraeus and his biographer Paula Broadwell, messaged (not massaged) each other in the draft folders of email accounts, thinking that old tried’n’tested

PC Surgeon

Servicing most areas

A Sick Home PC? Treating viruses and software Low Cost Home Visits Professional advice Police Clearance

9295 5238 (All Hrs) Note new number

20

technique would keep them safe from detection.

Ha. It didn’t.

And what of Reddit moderator, Violentacrez?

Stupid man posted and hosted risqué pictures of women taken without their consent. In Autumn 2012 he was finally identified as Michael Brutsch.

(See Wikipedia for his nasty details.)

The list goes on.

In a sense, the internet has made the world a less anonymous place because so many people once willingly parted with all manner of personal information, even though they’re likely to be a lot more cautious today.

Once harvested, that information is stored somewhere on the net in perpetuity.

The good news is that anonymity is indeed possible, especially when it’s necessary.

For example, anonymous emails are necessary for: • whistleblowers • those needing to disclose sensitive information • those reporting illegal activity • those involved in extramarital affairs

or similar • those immature individuals simply

wanting to annoy others You’ll likely think of other scenarios.

Can you ever have absolute certainty that messages won't ever be traced back to you when you communicate with others online?

No…and yes. Julian Sanchez, a policy expert with the Cato Institute in Washington, D.C., explains it like this: "Security is a function of the resources your adversary is willing to commit. If you've been flagged as a high-priority target by the NSA and are under active observation, then no, you can probably never have 'total confidence' that your communications won't be traced."

That’s clearly the ‘no’ bit. But for the rest of us, it's a possibility -- that’s the ‘yes’ bit – as long as we enlist the right precautions and adopt a sensible, careful approach.

they turn over information."

TRY TOR Anytime you want to do something anonymously on the Web think of Tor, short for "The Onion Router."

Tor can be accessed through a special Tor browser that's based on Firefox. Mr Google will reveal all if you ask nicely.

Tor is a free, world-wide system of software and servers that enables anonymous Internet traffic.

"Each Tor packet is actually wrapped in layers of encryption, like an onion," Sanchez says.

"So each node in the relay knows where the packet has just come from and where it's going next, but not the ultimate origin or destination."

All this makes Tor traffic very hard to trace.

And, as Sanchez points out, it also eliminates what is called ‘third-party culpability.’ The brilliant thing about Tor is that there isn't really anyone to subpoena. There isn't any central hub you could go to with a court order and demand

3. Amnesty Box anonymizes messages by placing them on its secure server, and then sending them from a no-reply email address.

Your Tor-protected internet traffic first goes through a Tor proxy client before it goes anywhere else.

That means your ISP would only see (and perhaps record) the entry-point Internet Protocol address on the outermost layer of the onion.

Beyond that point, whatever you do online remains your business and nobody else’s.

OK. That’s the hard part dealt with.

ANONYMOUS EMAIL Now don’t blow it all by logging in to your Gmail or work accounts when using Tor. Those accounts quite likely have your name all over them. Your action has now made Tor useless!

And you could end up in seriously hot water, depending on the type of messages you sent.

Instead, create anonymous email accounts to use on Tor. Let’s consider three of several.

1. AnonEmail further obfuscates a message's source by relaying the message several times before it reaches its destination.

2. When anonymity is the most important factor, don’t just use it outside of Tor, even though it works without Tor -- as will many other ‘anonymizing’ email services, come to that.

But if you need to anonymously send an email, a disposable account with 10 Minute Mail is the most secure.

From the moment users point their browser at the page, they have ten minutes to use their disposable account.

DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

FINANCE LIFE BROKERS RETURN STEVE BLIZARD

H

ow a Life Broker can protect your family against the massive rise in Insurance Premiums Conventional thinking for most people today is that if they buy something online they will get it cheaper than buying the same thing at a shop.

However, when it comes to life insurance, buying directly from the insurer is usually the most expensive route, not the cheapest analysis by researcher Canstar shows.

Direct Life insurance products are costing nearly twice as much as rival products recommended through ­ advisers, despite consumers not having to pay commissions for the recommendation.

Of greater concern however is that many direct insurance products also include ‘smallprint’ exclusion clauses for problems resulting from common medical complaints, such as high cholesterol contributing to a heart attack or stroke.

Direct customers complete far fewer questions during their ­application process, so the online insurer has minimal information about the life insured. As the insurer must include “unknown” risk factors within the premium, this can result in extremely expensive premiums for those applying online direct.

A number of direct and online p­ olicies have ‘pre-existing exemption clauses’ built in, meaning a customer with a medical condition when taking out a policy direct may not be covered if they die or become disabled as a result of that condition.

The absence of a servicing Life broker where direct purchases occur may result in customers not always being aware of their policy conditions or that their conditions have been excluded from the cover.

A fully-underwritten product, where the Life broker asks more questions of the applicant up front, generally provides greater certainty for the customer that their claim will be paid and will often cost a lot less.

It is not widely known that many people have had their lives saved through Life broker initiated medical testing.

Insurance requested blood tests and ECGs have identified many potentially serious or deadly conditions.

HIGH COSTS In addition, the high costs of direct marketing, including television, online advertising and call centres, all add up to higher costs that must be paid for by the direct customer.

Compare the annual premiums for a 55-yearold non-smoking woman employed as an accountant and insured for $500,000.

Analysis of ten products available from a Life broker and seven from direct insurers reveals the most expensive annual p­ remium for a direct insurer is $2,328 and for insurers relying on a fee based adviser, it is only $1,367.

Life insurance policies are n­ ormally held with the same insurer over many years.

The difference between cheapest and most expensive is greater the longer the policies are held, underlining the need to continue working closely with a Life Broker to secure the best rate and policy terms.

in stress related claims by Industry super fund members.

One thirty-four year old non-smoking male (White Collar professional) insured for $1 million Life and Total and Permanent Disability with the CBUS Industry Super Fund has seen his annual premium skyrocket from $1,033 to $1,862 in the past three months.

The most competitive rate secured by his Life Broker was only $921, saving the executive $941 in premiums each year.

Similarly, the Government Employees Super Board, the default fund for WA’s 140,000 public servants, has lifted its death and Total and Permanent Disability premiums thirty-nine percent since November 2013.

Fortunately your family Life broker and adviser is bound by client best interest regulations to find the most competitive yet comprehensive cover to suit your personal situation.

With massive rate changes hitting direct insurers and Industry Super funds, now has never COMPARE THE PAIR Members of “low cost” Industry been a better time to contact your adviser or superannuation funds have found themselves Life broker to secure substantial savings on your more exposed to recent increases in premiums insurance premiums. for death and total and permanent disability insurance than their counterparts in Retail Master Trusts and Corporate Super Funds, according to new data also released by SuperRatings. herever you The data validates the broad experience of the see this symbol group life sector over the past two years which saw insurers lifting premiums in the face of generally you will be able to get higher claims experience within Industry funds. more information by The SuperRatings analysis said that “Not scanning it with your for Profit” Industry funds had suffered overall smartphone, laptop or increases compared to their Retail Master Trust or Corporate Fund peers, whereby premiums iPad. The relevant can declined over the three year period. be downloaded free from your App Store.

It said the disparity between sectors was vast with Not for Profit Industry superannuation funds bearing the brunt of the re-ratings, averaging a 22.4 per cent increase, while Retail Master Trusts experienced an average decrease in premiums LISA CALLAHAN of 2.3 per cent, while Corporate Funds fared far better than their peers, passing on an average 4.4 e had a fantastic function for the end of the per cent decrease over the three year period. calendar year at "the Brook" in Parkerville Recent reports indicate disability premiums in late November. Very well attended and great are rocketing up to 85 per cent due to an explosion service and food.

In his short speech our President emphasised the importance of a Hills business group to represent all "hills’ businesses."

The forced merger of Mundaring Shire with the Swan City Council should not affect us he said.

In summarising the year’s activities of breakfasts, sundowners and other meetings President Geoff particularly thanked the administrator Rachael Sarich. He also made mention of the team who organised the very successful Business Excellence Awards The next function will be a very interesting get together in January.

All hills businesses are welcome, whether members or not. Details will be in the January edition of the Swan Magazine.

W

MCC WIND UP AT THE BROOK

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21

LITERARY

T he Idler

The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Mind

LIFE LESSONS IN A CHRISTMAS KITCHEN GLENNYS MARSDON

A

s we count down to Christmas my idle mind has been overtaken with thoughts of the silly season, particularly Christmas puddings, mince tarts, shortbread and the valuable life lessons they’ve taught me.

Perhaps, like me, your childhood Christmases started midway through November. Once Remembrance Day was in the rear vision mirror, our family kitchen would morph into a production house that would rival the largest commercial kitchen.

Over six weeks the small benchtops would give birth to alcohol infused rum balls, star shaped shortbreads, hand-hewn mince tarts and almond bread sliced wafer thin.

Within minutes of cooling these scrumptious morsels would be firmly ensconced in Tupperware containers, the lids burped to ensure the contents remained fresh until Christmas morning, when they’d be put on display for a houseful of visitors.

In hindsight this was probably where I first learnt about patience. Even though my mouth was salivating from the competing aromas emanating from the kitchen, I knew not to get too excited.

Experience taught me that once full the Tupperware containers would be strategically hidden around the house to keep little fingers at bay. Thankfully though, if you played your cards right you’d usually be rewarded for not getting in the way.

Christmas cooking also helped develop my negotiation skills. The sound of an oven door closing signaled an opportunity to approach the cook and plead your case for one of the discarded mixing bowls.

22

If timed correctly you would acquire said bowl just before it was thrown into the sink and filled with water. If things were going well in the kitchen the bowls usually housed a decent sample of whatever treat had been crafted within. If there was a problem however, the bowl would have been scraped to within an inch of its life and of no use to me at all.

In these cases I could only hope that one of the eggbeaters had been overlooked.

The third skill I learnt was ‘active listening’. I suggest that there’s no greater education in active listening than monitoring the mumbled phrases emanating from a kitchen during the Christmas countdown.

If the mumblings were lengthy and elevated, it meant you’d soon be called upon to test a batch of something that hadn’t quite gone according to plan. It was worth loitering nearby.

Inevitably it would be time to make the Christmas pudding where I learnt the art of deception. Tradition dictated that all family members would file into the kitchen and take a turn at pulling a tablespoon through the fruity mixture. A well timed sleight of hand meant you could come away with a scoop of mixture nestled discreetly in your palm.

Whether it was the risk behind the deception, or the love mixed in by all the family members I’m not sure, but I still hanker for the pre-cooked mixture.

Fast forward several years and I’ve learnt about concessions. The rumballs are now sansalcohol, replaced by an abomination called ‘rum essence’. What’s more they share their container with apricot balls for those family members who prefer ‘healthy’ options.

A spate of 40 degree days, and a myriad of time constraints, have seen the home made Christmas pudding replaced with a Rotary Club version. These concessions are passable however there is one that I still find hard to swallow.

One of my earliest memories of Christmas was the elaborate archeological dig into the Christmas pudding at the end of the meal.

It didn’t matter that we couldn’t manage another bite, we all set forth in search of a five cent piece or an even rarer sixpence. Somehow every plate contained a silver surprise, no one was left out. Then sadly one year the coins disappeared never to return again, something to do with potential poisoning or some such silliness.

As I write this there’s one aspect of this concession that continues to baffle me. Why is it that the sixpences have become obsolete, and yet the cringe worthy jokes have remained? Surely they could be considered bad for one’s mental health, couldn’t they?

Consumer folklore suggests that the jokes are made universally bad so that everyone bonds through the collective groan.

The theory goes that if the jokes require a modicum of intelligence there’s a danger that some members of the family may feel ostracized from the group.

While I concede that on Christmas Day the last thing you need is a joke that requires an IQ of Mensa proportions, but surely a Christmas meal punctuated with the wit of Robin Williams, Jerry Seinfield, or Billy Connelly wouldn’t go amiss would it?

And if Aunt Flo’ doesn’t get it then she can always blame the Chardonnay. It would certainly help the coinless Christmas pudding go down a little easier.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear Sir, Reference: Insight - Sunday Times 23rd November, 2014, on political correctness of the Mexican Standoff on Racism and themes of possible racist parties including Oktoberfest, St. Patricks Day and others.

I do not care at all whether you are black, brown or yellow; whether you are African, Asian, Greek or Aboriginal, but many official documentation, Governmental and those privately instrumented, are very much racist themed by their own demands and are largely the blame for the ideas of racism.

All of these documents, especially that issued by the Australian Bureau of Statistics and Centrelink, are largely responsible for this demand on racism as each require the applicant to indicate whether they are Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander or country of origin or another nationality or 'OTHER'.

What is other...?

I am 'other', but I do not and never have indicated this; I deliberately place a large 'X' over these words and then indicate with a bracket '}', and asterix '*' and write the words that " my blood colour is red and at the end of the day I still bleed the same colour as them."

If any authority wishes to remain impartial on these matters of racism then all reference to origin should be removed and all cultures of the world be embraced for the differences that we are.

Terrance Weston JP CMC Belmont

COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

W

e asked our lawyers to provide us with a no-fault, no-offence Christmas message.

After some thought they came up with this. We’re sure it’s useful, but it’s going to be to tough to get onto a Christmas card: ‘Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or

secular traditions at all...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped

ROTARY DECEMBER MARKETS

HELP MAKE CHRISTMAS CHEERFUL

L

ocals are being asked to help spread some Christmas cheer to those less fortunate this year, with donations for the Salvation Army’s annual appeal being collected at the Swan Valley Visitor Centre.

This is the ninth year the Visitor Centre has been a collection point for the cause.

Mayor Zanino said: “We are always pleased to be able to help support the Salvos’ food drive and toy appeal, Christmas is a time of giving and a time to think of those around us.

“While we are making plans for a great Christmas, whether with family or friends, there are some people worrying about whether they can afford a Christmas dinner or a present for their child. This is a great way to share the Christmas spirit of giving.”

The Salvos are asking for gifts of toys and food. The toys will become gifts for children this Christmas and we're asking for people to donate them unwrapped. This allows parents to personally select a gift which will be suitable for their child.

The Salvos are also requesting that the toys be new because, for some children, the gift you donate will be the only present they receive this Christmas.

In term of food, the Salvos are looking for staples, like tinned vegetables and rice or pasta, as well as Christmas treats like chocolates, Christmas puddings or other festive foods like tinned ham and long-life or boxed custard.

The Swan Valley Visitor Centre is open seven days a week (excluding Christmas Day), from 9am to 4pm and is located at the corner of Swan and Meadow Streets in Guildford.

The Visitor Centre will be collecting donations until December 17.

T

GEOFF FRANCIS

he Rotary Club of Mundaring has their monthly markets on the second Sunday of every month except January.

Hence by the time you read this article our very busy December markets may well be over.

December is always a busy market with a great opportunity to buy those special Christmas gifts.

This year we have extra stalls spilling over into the rear car park area of the Mundaring Hotel. We thank the very helpful Publican Jim for his co-operation too.

In late November we ran another successful fundraising event ... The Rotary Swapmart on the Mundaring Recreation Ground. That event is well supported by locals and visitors. For that we thank you all.

Planning is well under way, after a slow start for the joint project with Swan Valley Rotary Club to build shelters along the Parkerville to Mt Helena section of the bridle (Old railway) trail.

This the two chapters are doing in co-operation with the Shire of Mundaring.

With the year nearly over it won't be long before we are welcoming home our two local students we sponsored on a year's overseas study adventure. We are looking forward to hearing of their great learning adventures.

Next year another local, Craig Ford of Stoneville, heads off overseas. In the meantime.

Young Maisie, our visitor from Finland will soon wrap up her year in WA. Although the year had a very tragic start with the January fires, which drained our financial resources, the club has been able to rebuild our local finances to support many other local projects and people needing support.

Compliments of the Season to you all.

make Australia great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. "Holiday" is not intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof).

Note: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all. This greeting is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for the wishee her/himself or others, or responsibility for the consequences which may arise from the implementation or non-implementation of same.

This greeting is void where prohibited by law.

So consider yourselves greeted.

23

FILM PADDINGTON - A REVIEW DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

I

think I must have been about nine or ten when I first met Paddington. Michael Bond had just published the first book in the series and I fell in love with the bear from 'Darkest Peru' who lived on marmalade, wore a comfortable duffel coat and a battered hat.

He didn't replace Pooh in my affections, he was a different kind of bear, a mischief-making bear, a bear of olde-worlde courtesy and a bear that spread unwitting and un-intended havoc as he went about his well-meaning, but bumbling way.

When I heard that they were making a film about Paddington I was at once elated and anxious. Under no circumstances did I want the beloved companion of my youth Disneyed.

I need not have feared, the adaptation and final product is nothing short of sensational. The combination of skillful script writing and adaptation, inspired casting and absolutely incredible CGI is masterly.

We saw the first mix of animation and live actors with Dick van Dyke and those damned penguins in Mary Poppins - this is to Paddington as the Wright Brothers 'Flyer' is to Concorde.

The actors have a very good time of it indeed. The superb casting of Hugh Bonneville as crusty Mr Brown is just magical. A lovely man and a lovely actor, just seeing Lord Grantham from Downton Abbey disguised as a tea lady is worth the price of admission alone.

The actors are a mix of well-known (Sir Michael Gambon, Julie Walters [tiny touch of the Mrs Overall there], Nicole Kidman, Jim Broadbent and Peter Capaldi - giving a frighteningly creepy version of Eric Sykes) and lesser-known but still brilliant actors like Matt Lucas and Sally Hawkins as Mrs

Brown, a lovely, rounded performance in a role she made her own.

But the acting accolade must go to almost unknown Ben Whishaw as the voice of Paddington. And here I must just digress to tell you that the animation is just unbelievably clever, just this side of absolute realism to retain the charm of the original, it is easy to accept Paddington as real.

The problems for the animators as they reproduced fur, covered in marmalade, water, sticky tape and blow-dried must have been horrendous, but worth every agonising minute.

It is a very funny film in the understated, we're not going to tell you the joke, you're going to have to look for it, kind of British way. For example the villainess (Nicole Kidman) is a taxidermist and her office has all these stuffed animal heads on the walls. As she passes from this room into the workroom behind we see the rest of the stuffed 24

animals sticking out the other side of the wall.

There is much to admire, Ben Whishaw's flawless Paddington; the sight of Nicole Kidman running, yes, running, in six inch stilettos - the fact that they are snakeskin stillettos - Peter Capaldi's bunch of flowers, the tongue in cheek reference to Mission Impossible, the Heath Robinson contraptions, oh - all just too many to mention.

You will want to see this film often, just to see the jokes and references you missed the first couple of times. Take your children to see it. Borrow your sister's children, friends' children, go on your own and try to look as if the children have just slipped out to buy a choc ice, but go.

Michael Bond, now 88, must be very proud and pleased to see his bear, already honoured with a bronze statue at Paddington Station, come to life on the screen. When he saw the film he said: "I came, I saw, I was 足conquered."

Like the very best of English Christmas Panto there are jokes at every level, and deep, rich charm and enjoyment throughout.

This Christmas, whatever you do, don't miss Paddington.

Very Highly Recommended Indeed. I give it five marmalade sandwiches out of five.

25

WHAT’S ON

COMMUNITY MAD CARDS

IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN EVENT LISTED IN THIS COLUMN RING JAN ON 9298 8495 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Glen Forrest Group Every Monday evening We meet at 7.00pm at the Glen Forrest Uniting Church, Mc Glew Rd, Glen Forrest. Call Dermot 0488 905 211 or John 0448 074 536 or the Perth Office (all hours) 9325 3566.

AUSTRALIAN BREASTFEEDING ASSOC. Discussion groups, guest speakers, morning tea. Free breastfeeding counselling. Expectant mothers, mothers, babies and children welcome.

National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2686 is a 24 hour 7 days a week service.

Swan/Mundaring Group meets every Monday, 9:30-11:30am at the Gumnuts Family Centre, 8 Mudalla Way, Koongamia. A qualified ABA counsellor is present at each meeting to give confidential information and support on breastfeeding issues. Contact Natalie 9572 4971.

Kalamunda Group meets fortnighly on a Thursday, 9:30-11:30am at the Maida Vale Baptist Church, Edney Road, High Wycombe.

Contact Jenny 9252 1996.

Northam Group meets each second Tuesday of the month at the Bridgeley Community Centre, Wellington Street, Northam 10am to Noon.

Fourth Tuesday each month at Toodyay Playgroup, Stirling Terrace, Toodyay. Noon to 2pm. Please phone Louisa 9574 0229.

HILLS CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP 1st Wednesday of each month Hilltop Grove Estate, 1645 Jacoby Street, Mahogany Creek. Morning tea provided, between 10.30 - 12.00 noon.

Enquiries Terina 9572 1655.

SWAN HARMONY SINGERS Every Wednesday Come and sing with us! Swan Harmony Singers meet from 7-9pm at the Ascension Parish Church Hall, Spring Park Rd, Midland.

We would be delighted to welcome new members, especially men. No auditions.

For more information, call Chris on 9298 9529 or 0435 062 728.

GUILDFORD MARKET Third Sunday of every month At Guildford Town Hall, Corner of James and Meadow Streets. 9am - 3pm.

Situated in the heart of Guildford, within five minutes walking distance from the Guildford Train Station, a visit to the Guildford Market is sure to please.

With a diverse and unique array of locally handcrafted products and produce, there will be something of interest for all. From garden ornaments, homemade jams and relishes to handmade soy candles, cards, bags, cushions, children’s toys, bears, baby and children’s wear.

Individually designed and crafted glassware, jewellery and beautifully made wood products and so much more to tempt you.

Sausage sizzle, live music all day.

Make a day of it, stroll around the markets and then take the time to wander about the heritage listed town of Guildford. Enjoy a picturesque Heritage Walk Trail or pay a visit to the antique, art and craft shops along the cafe strip.

Enquiries: Bromwyn, 6278 4252.

MUSTARD SEED - DISCOVERING COMPUTERS Mustard Seed is a non-profit organisation and caters for all aspects of everyday computing.

Ability levels from beginner to advanced are welcome and learners proceed at their own pace.

There are desktops, laptops, iPad and Android tablets, scanners, printers and Wi-Fi broadband internet. Cost is $3 per session. Enrolments in 2014 exceeded 100. To gain a place in 2015 enrol now. Forms and information are available by: Phoning 9299 7236 or 0416 815 822 or E. discoveringcomputers@westnet.com.au.

SWAN VALLEY SQUARES – ELLENBROOK Every Friday Night Modern Australian Square Dancing from 8.00 pm – 10.00 pm Woodlake Community Hall, 1 Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly, fun and low cost. No previous experience necessary. All Welcome. Contact Greg Fawell 0417 912 241 or www.swanvalleysquares.weebly.com ELLENBROOK COMMUNITY WEIGHT LOSS CLUB THE HILLS CHOIR Every Wednesday evening Monday Evenings We meet from 6.45pm to 8.00pm at the Do you enjoy singing and joining with others Woodlake Community Hall, Meeting room 1. to make beautiful music? Come and join the Hills Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly support Choir. We meet from 7.30 to 9.30pm at the Uniting group and low cost. Male and females of all Church on Stoneville Road, Mundaring. Contact ages welcome. Contact Shirley 9276 7938 Margie on 9295 6103 for further information. shirleysardelich@aapt.net.au.

BINGO AT ELLENBROOK Every Tuesday evening Eyes down 7.00pm at Valley Bowls Club, Cnr Maffina Parade and Cashmore Ave, Ellenbrook.

Lots of games and prizes. Lucky number draw.

Continuous jackpot. Bars open. Tea and biscuits available. Enquiries Ray 6296 5580.

26

LIONS CLUB OF SWAN DISTRICTS INC The Club is celebrating it’s 50th Anniversary in March, 2015.

We would like to make contact with any past members who would like to be involved. Tel Gavin 92969474

MEGAN DOLLING

T

he City of Swan has assisted local community groups to form the Membership Action Division Network (MAD Network) and to launch the City’s first MAD card, providing benefits to volunteers and local businesses.

City of Swan Mayor, Charlie Zannino, said the MAD card is designed to encourage support for local business and to reward all members of participating community groups.

“The MAD card will act as a customer attraction program for businesses and for eligible community groups it is a membership rewards program,” he said.

“The City is committed to supporting strong community partnerships and this relationship between business and community is a shining example of how supporting one another can bring great benefits to all involved.”

The City is supporting the MAD card program by providing an online list of participating businesses and the individual business offers, as well as a links page to the participating community groups, database coordination and provision of stickers for display by businesses.

Midland/Guildford Ward Councillor, Daniel Parasiliti said the program is easy for businesses and volunteer groups to be part of and one that will benefit the community.

“There are no fees for businesses or member groups to be involved in the MAD card program so it’s definitely an opportunity that we’d encourage all of our eligible local groups to look at,” he said.

“Businesses advertise their MAD membership in store then offer their best deal as a special to MAD members only.

“To join the program, community groups must have no paid staff and must successfully encourage six businesses to also participate in the program.

“The MAD Card represents a good example of how the local community, local government and local business can work together.”

Swan Chamber of Commerce Chief Executive Officer Sandra Wallis said the Chamber is excited about this new initiative.

“The Swan Chamber of Commerce is pleased to endorse this progressive idea by our local community,” she said.

“The united efforts of the customers and the business proprietors through the MAD card present a powerful opportunity generally to lift the standard of living and working in Midland.”

Businesses interested in being part of the MAD program or finding out more can contact the Midland Place Community Development Coordinator Daniel Hanley on 9267 9013.

BUSINESS CARD BOARD ACCOUNTANT

CARPET CLEANING

ELECTRICIAN

BOOKS

CEILINGS

FIREBREAKS

BOOKS

COMPUTER SERVICES

GARDENING

PC Surgeon

Servicing most areas

A Sick Home PC? Treating viruses and software Low Cost Home Visits Professional advice Police Clearance 9295 5238 (All Hrs)

BRICKPAVING Specialising in Brickpaving & Soakwells

FREE Quotes No job too big or too small Call Larry: 0431 057 124 or 6278 2301

CALLIGRAPHY

DRY CLEANERS

GARDEN SERVICES

FOR QUALITY & FRIENDLY SERVICE • Wedding & Evening Dresses • Doonas & Blankets • Curtains • Woolens/Silks etc • Alterations and Mending

Phone 9295 1488

Shop 5, Mundaring Shopping Centre 7025 Great Eastern Highway, Mundaring

EDITOR

GLASS

Need an editor?

Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing from a professional editor.

First consultation free. Free quotes.

Swinburne Press (founded 1989) P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

Your business could be here in colour from as little as $80.

Ring Jan on 9298 8495 27

BUSINESS CARD BOARD IRRIGATION

PAINTING

STOCKFEED

A . T. ASHMAN Bore installations, all pump requirements Reticulation, pipe and fittings Pump repairs and service. Water tanks Unit C/7 Orchard Avenue (next to Cov’s)

MIDVALE PH: 9274 2201

Professional Interior & Exterior Painter and Decorator (No 4917) Free Estimates

Phone: 9250 7515

0417 946 206

MAINTENANCE

PUBLISHERS

Have a book to publish? v Family History v Non-Fiction v Autobiography v Biography v Fantasy v Fiction v Poetry

Swinburne Press (founded 1989)

P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

PLUMBING

MARKETS

Guildford Town Hall, James Street 9:00am--3:00pm Held on the third Sunday of each

Bromwyn 6278 4652

MODELLING ACADEMY

RUBBISH REMOVAL

OPPORTUNITIES

SAW AND MOWER SERVICE

TREE SERVICES

Just Trees

Your Affordable Local Tree Service Pruning - Lopping - Removals - Mulching

9274 3236

~ Fully Insured

~ Call for a Free Quote

7B Bushby Street, Bellevue, WA 6056

TUITION

CALL FOR A FREE ASSESSMENT MUNDARING - 9295 6255 ELLENBROOK - 9297 3654

TV ANTENNAS

WEB DESIGN

COMMISSION SALES Swan Magazine is looking for someone to sell advertising.

The position would suit a selfmotivated person who wants flexible working hours.

We offer generous commission rates, training and advice.

Ring our editor, Jan Patrick, on 9298 8495 for an appointment to discuss options.

28

SAWS AND MOWERS

cnr

Grt Est Hwy & Chipper St, Mundaring

~ Sales ~ Spares ~ Repairs

9295 2466

Your business could be here for $80.

Ring Jan on 9298 8495

A TASTE OF THE WORLD

A HAPPY CHRISTMAS GIFT & SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL AUTHOR!

$20 FOR 2 BOOKS!!

If you love TRAVEL, FOOD & TRUE STORIES from the HOSPITALITY Industry, containing over 50 RECIPES, then Come and Explore the World with Ellenbrook’s ‘The Chef Explorer’!

TWO BOOKS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, and an IDEAL CHRISTMAS PRESENT OR TWO!

A SUPER SPECIAL FOR SWAN MAGAZINE READERS OF $20 FOR THE 2 BOOKS, (OR $12.50 EACH) * THAT IS A SAVING OF $22 ON AMAZON & BOOK SHOP PRICE!!

29

Your one stop local pump shop......

Household, Submersible, Bore and Pool pumps Controllers, Solenoids and all reticulation products

s thi % t 0 n se a1 Pre t for t er un adv disco

We sell: DOMESTIC WATER FILTERS – Your solution to clean household water S D D

s

WE SERVICE & REPAIR WHAT WE SELL Unit C/7 Orchard Avenue, MIDVALE (next to Cov’s)

PH: 9274 2201 F: 9274 2284

www.aquapump.com.au - email: bill@aquapump.com.au 30