Christain Womanhood by Jeff Hanson

Christian Womanhood

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Notes | From the Editor Insecurity By Cindy Schaap Children | They Call Me Mom 10 Ways to Love & Encourage… By Robin Ogle Precepts | Principles for Life Love Envies Not (Part 2) By Cindy Schaap Marriage | A Wife’s Purpose No Need of Spoil By Julie Fink Precepts | Principles for Life Time to Love God! (Part 3) By Genevieve Atchison Feature | Insecurity A Gift Worth Giving by Molly Audiss Salvation | Let’s Go Soul Winning Spectacular Phone Soul Winning By Marchelle Webb Issues | Ladies’ Health Well Doing Without Weariness By Billie Sloan

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Contents

Feature | Insecurity Don’t Put Your Security… By Robin Parton Recipe | From the Kitchen of… Easy Chow Mein Contributed by Cindy Schaap Feature | Insecurity Please Don’t Make Fun of Me! By Laurie Worland Teen Twitter Are You a True Friend? With Jaclynn Weber Teen Twitter What Are You Packing? By Jaclynn Weber Teen Twitter A Pastor’s Advice for Children… By Pastor Greg Ogle Teen Twitter God Is My Refuge By Mindy Wolf Perspectives | From a Pastor’s Heart How Music Affects the Spirit By Dr. Jack Schaap

Front Cover:

Dr. and Mrs. Sheldon Schearer Heritage Baptist Church Great Falls, Montana The Schearers collected 100 subscriptions in support of Christian Womanhood. Pray for Marcia Schearer as she recuperates from the effects of a heart attack.

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Notes

May 2012 Vol. 38 Num. 1

PUBLISHER

Prepare Now Resources, a ministry of First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Dr. Jack Schaap

Senior Editor

Mrs. Cindy Schaap

ASSISTANT EDITOR

Mrs. Linda Stubblefield

sales & marketing director Mrs. Jane Grafton

From the Editor

This month I want to conclude a

mini-series of lessons on hearing God’s voice. Besides asking God to show Himself to me each day, I have started a new practice of asking God to speak to me and to teach me. I have been looking for God each day, but I have also been listening for Him. In so doing, God seems to be speaking more clearly than He ever has…or maybe I am just listening better. Three messages from God stand out most clearly in my mind, two which I have already shared in this magazine:

Subscription Manager Miss Stephanie Carlton

Founder/editor

Dr. Marlene Evans (1933-2001)

855-214-6551 christianwomanhood.org Single issues–$3.50 each plus $1.50 postage Send orders to Christian Womanhood, 507 State Street, Hammond, Indiana 46320 or order online at christianwomanhood.org. Address all other correspondence to graftonj@fbchammond.com. Address Changes: 30 to 60 days before moving, please write or email subscriptions@christianwomanhood. org. Important Notice! Christian Womanhood welcomes submissions of 1,000 words or fewer for publication. Please be sure to include your name and contact information on every page of your submission. All contributions may be edited and cannot be acknowledged or returned. Christian Womanhood reserves the right not to explain why a submission is not published. Send submissions to stubblefieldl@fbchammond.com. Christian Womanhood Issue 10 February 2012 (USPS 344-290) is published monthly for $29.95 per year by Christian Womanhood of Hammond, 507 State Street, Hammond, IN 46320-1533. Periodical postage paid at Crown Point, IN, and additional mailing office in Fort Atkinson, WI. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Christian Womanhood, 507 State Street, Hammond, IN, 46320.

Christian Womanhood is designed by Jeff Hanson • hansonimage@gmail.com

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1. It is not about me (or you)! 2. Don’t worry about what people think.

The third message is a more practical one. I had been fretting over the fact that I did not have a day at home. I have always strived to keep my priorities in order, but my schedule had become so cluttered that I was only home a few hours here and there during the week. My husband graciously hired a housekeeper for me a couple of years ago, but I still felt that parts of my home life were faltering because they were missing something— me. And while I know it is wrong to fret, I was indeed fretting over the situation—not looking for a solution, mind you—just fretting. I was convinced there was no solution! I have always taken time for our children and have a close relationship with them, but I was also cancelling appointments with our children more and more frequently because of schedule conflicts. Unbeknownst to me, our daughter Jaclynn had begun praying and asking God to allow her to spend more time with me. How I thank God for a daughter who is a prayer warrior! I often ask her to pray with me about items of concern because I trust Jaclynn’s prayers. I was driving to church on a Sunday evening, not thinking about a solution to my scheduling conflicts. Remember, there was no solution! Suddenly I heard God say in an almost audible voice that I needed to reorganize my work schedule so that I could free up some hours and work one day a week in my home. God impressed upon me that I also

Senior Editor: Mrs. Cindy Schaap Cindy Schaap is the wife of Dr. Jack Schaap, the pastor of First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana. She is the author of 14 books and has been the senior editor of Christian Womanhood since 2001.

should devote part of that day each week to devote to our children. Jaclynn and Todd live across the street from us and are the parents of four children, ages 6 and under. Yet I was seeing them all less and less. I will not go into all of the specifics of the changes God told me to make in my work schedule, but they all made perfect sense, left me with complete peace, and I wondered why I had not thought of them before. On the way home from church that evening, I shared with my husband what God had shared with me. I told my husband, because he is my spiritual authority, that if he did not feel God had told me these things, then I would not do them. My husband immediately expressed great joy and affirmation, saying that he knew these decisions would be for the good of all involved. I am so enjoying having one day a week to be just a homemaker. My prayer life has improved, my availability for our children has been strengthened, and our home has a more organized and joyful atmosphere.

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From the Editor

Notes

What have I learned from this experience? 1. It pays to listen to the voice of God. 2. God knows how to simplify life, even as people

Boss, and He is a creative one. God is an Idea Person. God is a phenomenal Human Resource Strategist! Let God orchestrate your schedule. Let God design your home and secure your relationships. Ask Him what to do about your life conflicts and then listen for Him…. Acts 4:20 says, “For we cannot but speak the things complicate it. which we have seen and heard.” We don’t hear enough peo3. When we pray for someone instead of whining to them, we unleash the power of God upon our problems (I ple talking about what God has shown them or spoken to them. Is it because God is not showing Himself and God learned this via sweet Jaclynn!) is not speaking “in this age?” Or could it be because we are 4. God cares about our homes! not looking for Him and listening for Him? The theme of our May magazine is homemaking—an There is much talk among Christians about gossip appropriate one for the celebration of Mother’s Day. What and criticism. Could it be that is because that is what is a home without a mother, and what is a mother when she most Christians are looking for and listening to? does not have the strength to be there for her children? I challenge you to ask God to speak to you every day This issue contains many ideas and instruction about and to write one thing in your journal each day that you homemaking, particularly on the subject of weekly and learned from God. I promise, that gossip and criticism yearly (spring) cleaning. My prayer is that this issue will will bore you, and that you will instead want to speak the strengthen the atmosphere of your home. things that you have seen and heard. My prayer is that these editor’s notes will also strength- Have a happy Mother’s Day, a happy spring, and a en your home, not by making you feel guilty. Many of you happy home! We at Christian Womanhood love you! cannot cut back on your work. Unlike me, your boss is not your husband. But I challenge you to pray and to listen to God regarding your homemaking. God is your heavenly

May 2012

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Precepts

Principles for Life

Love

is Not Proud by Cindy Schaap Senior Editor, Christian Womanhood

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.” (I Corinthians 13:4)

My husband and I are privileged to have six grandchildren. Lyndsay (7), Lexy (3), and Chloe (10 months) are our three granddaughters. Ray (5), Kenny (3), and Jayke (6 months) are our three grandsons. I babysit Lyndsay, Lexy, Ray, and Jayke every Saturday. Lately they have taken a liking to playing with balloons. A simple, inexpensive bag of balloons has kept them occupied for quite a bit of time. They enjoy throwing a balloon in the air and seeing how many times they can hit it and keep it off the ground. Lyndsay’s record is around 100. Lexy’s record is around 5, and that is with a little bit of “cheating” in my counting. After the balloon playing, it is quite common to find popped (or deflated) balloons lying around my house. Children are not careful enough to keep a balloon full of air for a very long time. I find many balloons lying around that were once “puffed up” and are now deflated. The sight of a deflated balloon is a sight that depicts uselessness. Inflated balloons can be beautiful; Toll Free 855-214-6551

deflated balloons look shriveled and sad-looking. The Bible tells us that in order to love with Biblical love, we cannot be puffed up. The opposite of puffed up is deflated. In my 50-plus years of life, I have suffered various and sundry trials. Some have been inflicted directly upon me, and others have been inflicted upon those closest to me. Around the year 1995, I experienced a season of depression, which I believe was a result of the culmination of many trials experienced by my family and me. For several months I was completely deflated in my spirit. My life depicted uselessness. My spirit was shriveled, and my countenance was sad-looking. I was disappointed in myself, and I thought I knew that God was disappointed in me—maybe even finished with me. During this time, Deuteronomy became my favorite book of the Bible; chapter 8 became one of my favorite chapters. Deuteronomy 8:2, “And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.” I re

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Precepts

Principles for Life

alized and still believe today that God lovingly led me through this “wilderness” experience, and I was humbled. My husband said something like this in a recent Sunday morning sermon. “One of the primary things God does in our trials is to teach us to love.” I wept as he shared this thought. I remember all that God has brought me through, and I know that I have learned to love much more through my trials. Referring back to Deuteronomy 8:2, I was tested, humbled, and completely deflated, and I learned to keep His commandments, especially what God calls the great commandment—to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love my neighbor as myself. I do love God much more since I was deflated through depression. Approximately six years after my bout with depression, my father died. One month later, my husband became the pastor of the megachurch that my dad had pastored for 41 years. On the night my husband was voted in as pastor, I told the people in the audience that I believed that the call of a pastor’s wife was a call to love the people. Six years earlier, God had taught me not only how to grieve my father, but also how to love our church people. This happened through the total deflating of my spirit until I thought there was nothing left. God knew that I was proud, and He knew that if I was “puffed up,” I would not be able to love with the love of Christ. To be puffed up means “to be proud,” and during this time I learned some helpful lessons about pride.

Pride Is Esteeming Ourselves Apart From God. Proverbs 18:14, “The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?” Allow me to rephrase the first half of this verse: the attitude of a man will strengthen his weakness. People often comment on the fact that I am transparent and real in my writing and teaching, but I have a confession to make: I am not completely transparent. I have a weakness that I do not share with others. This weakness is my “thorn in the flesh.” I believe it is this weakness that in part caused me to enter a deep depression, and though God has brought me out of my depression, a small bit of that weakness remains—like a scar that will never be healed. I do not have a wounded spirit. The wound has been healed, but the scar remains. I believe the scar came so that I would not be puffed up. God graciously left a scar so that I would love and need Him more and so that I would love other people. I sometimes feel my weakness is as plain as the nose on my face—maybe even plainer. Perhaps many know what

May 2012

weakness to which I am referring, but I do not talk about this weakness. This weakness humbles me. Psalm 138:6 tells us that “…the proud he knoweth afar off.” I have an intimate relationship with Jesus Whom I love very much, but it is my trials and weaknesses that have drawn me close to Jesus. I would not want to be proud for the sole reason that God would be standoffish with me. I could not make it without my intimate, close relationship with God. My husband preaches a sermon for which he is well known entitled simply “Humility.” In this sermon he states the following two facts. Pride is our worst enemy. Humility is our best friend. I believe that my own pride is my own worst enemy, perhaps even a greater enemy than the Devil himself. One of the reasons pride is my enemy is that it prevents me from being close to God. Another reason is that it prevents me from having loving relationships. Humility is my best friend, however, because it keeps me close to God and opens the door of my spirit so that God can love others through me with His love. James 4:6 says, “…God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” “God resisteth the proud….” In his sermon “Humility,” my husband teaches that God stands in the way of the plans of someone who is proud. God places a roadblock in that person’s life. “…but giveth grace unto the humble.” The definition of grace is “help for your living.” My husband teaches that God gives His divine help for living to the humble, and God pushes the humble toward success.

Pride Is Being Impatient With What God Allows in Our Lives. Jeremiah 50:29, “…for she hath been proud against the Lord.…” When I first went through my wilderness experience, I was impatient with God. I am ashamed to admit that I even yelled at God. This was wrong; we are always to reverence God. Even though I feel intimate with God, I have no right to ever talk to Him or about Him with the slightest bit of disrespect. God continued to deflate my spirit through depression until I learned patience. My deflated ego taught me to be patient with God and to be patient with others. I have no major regrets from my time of depression, though I did make mistakes and sin at this time. I learned through depression why people can slide into gross sin, and I learned to love the sinner. God taught me how to love the unlovely because I was unlovely myself.

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Pride Is Thinking We Are Better Than Another Person. Pride is being a respecter of persons. Farmers who work with chickens will tell you that chickens have a pecking order. When a chicken becomes sick or wounded, the other chickens will peck the wounded to death. Sadly, this happens way too often in Christianity. Proverbs 13:10, “Only by pride cometh contention.…” The cause of strife between Christians is always pride—so says God Himself. Christians who are pecking at other Christians have not been deflated. They are puffed up. When I received some badly needed deflating into my spirit, God taught me to love the spiritually sick and wounded. The opposite of being puffed up is “to build others.” I Corinthians 8:1, “…Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.” Sometimes we become “puffed up” about our own opinions and knowledge. I also see way too much of that attitude in Christianity. God must deflate us and bring us to the point where we feel that we don’t know anything. Then we can cease puffing up ourselves and express true love by spending our lives puffing up those we

Hints

love. Those we love should be everyone who crosses our path. The scar of my sin has never gone away, though I have begged God to remove it many times. One day I simply decided that God’s grace truly is sufficient for me and my scar. I can live with it, and I will live with it through the help of God’s sufficient grace. I know why God left me with the scar. It was so I could love you enough to tell you about it. God left me the scar so that I could love others with the love of Christ—because you see, love is not puffed up. Love is not proud. Love is most effective when its source has been completely deflated!

Resources: Healing Love: Learning to Love Again by Cindy Schaap ($15) Possessing Peace by Loretta Walker ($15) See page 47 for ordering information

Homemaking

Homemaking Hints Microwave: to remove stuck-on food, put a large bowl of water with some vinegar in the microwave on high for 2 to 3 minutes; then wipe out the microwave with a wet dishcloth. The vinegar will remove the smell, and the steam from the hot water will loosen splattered food. Cleaning the bathroom: first vacuum the floor to remove all the hair and debris. Turn

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on the shower and let it run while you clean the toilet and sink. The shower will be nice and steamy; spray on cleanser and scrub it down. Pour some perfume or body spray or air freshener, etc., on a couple of cotton balls and place them in your vacuum cleaner bag. Every time you vacuum, your house will smell good.

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Children

They Call Me Mom

Bird Parenting By Charlotte H. Young Pastor’s Wife, Indian Hills Baptist Church, Shreveport, Louisiana Psalm 40:5 “Many, O my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to usward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. “

I love

watching God’s creations—especially birds. Now I am not going to stand out in the rain or huddle under a tree all day just to catch a glimpse of a special kind of bird. I just like studying/watching them because they make me realize how wondrous our God is and how much we can learn from the creatures He has created for us.

May 2012

After a few years of praying for an eastern bluebird to appear, my desire finally came to pass in early spring of 2010. I was sitting on the patio early in the morning (as I do as much as possible) drinking coffee, and suddenly he was there—perched on top of a shepherd’s hook. I choked on coffee, and tears started to come to my eyes because I knew how much Jesus loves me. Everything is in His time! The bluebird came every morning for about ten days, watching and studying a birdhouse I had especially purchased for bluebirds three years before. He also watched our yard, I guess to see what kind of other creatures liked to come to the yard. He kept coming and watching—different times of the day and evening. Then his mate came, and slowly they started building a nest in that bird house. It took about one week for them to complete the preparation for their home and soon-to-be birthplace of their baby birds. The eggs were laid; then about two weeks later they were hatched. The steps they went through were very calculated and planned. Apparently, they felt very secure in our backyard. I was in awe of the brilliance of the parenting skills of these two birds. It made me realize what God puts in us, and it is up to us to use these tools and abilities appropriately. Many things came to my mind as I watched these sweet little eastern bluebirds that are about six to eight inches long and weigh about one ounce. I want to share some of them with you.

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They chose the right location for their family. This is very important to the Christian family. We must be in the right place, the right church, etc.

They were aware of the dangers around their family. In our lives today, this is a major issue. We tend to not be aware of our surroundings and relationships.

They took time for their family. They fed their hatchlings in a timely manner, checked on them regularly throughout the day and evening, spent time with them, protected them. They knew exactly who the predators were. Do we recognize our children’s predators?

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They knew their responsibilities as parents. Do we? Are we serious about our responsibilities? Both parents worked together. They might not agree on everything, but they were a team.

They did not let the little birds grow up too fast. In our society, there is a tendency for children to dress as adults and even inappropriately.

They prepared them to leave. They did not push them out into the world before they were ready. This is a great deficit in Christian homes today. Train them so they will be prepared and able to thrive when they do leave. We need to be aware of the enemy/enemies constantly trying to get parents off course and distracted from teaching children to do God’s will and also from doing God’s will themselves. Well, I watched those baby birds mature each day for about two weeks, and as I did, I watched the parents chase off predators four to five times larger than their own size; they were protecting their God-given children. They took a stand (God put it in them) and did their job very well. One morning when I walked out into the yard to check the birdhouse, they were gone. I was sad because I so wanted to watch them fly away. So many thoughts went through my mind, but the main one was GOD IS SO GREAT!!!!

Psalm 150:6, “Let every thing that hath breath praise the . Praise ye the Lord.”

Resources: Making Wise the Simple by Dr. Jack Schaap ($12) A Safe Haven by Francie Taylor ($1.95) Ten Traps of Television by Francie Taylor ($9.95)

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Marriage

A W ifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Purpose

Happy Marriage, Hard Circumstances

By Teresa Comstock Lee and Teresa Comstock are members of First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana.

Being married for 32 years, I have

figured out what I have done right and wrong and what my weak areas are as a wife. Marriage is commitment and work. Add children to your nest, and it entails even more commitment. When you have a child with a disability in your home, it becomes even more complex. Statistics show that 90 percent of couples who have a handicapped child divorce. My husband and I recently saw our childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pediatrician. He told us he had just read a study where parents of twins have a high divorce rate. That statistic would mean we have a double whammy in our marriage. We have a set of twins, and one of them is handicapped. Marriage will never be perfect because people are not perfect. However, you can strive for the best marriage possible with the Bible, prayer, commitment, and hard work. First, let me say marriage is not for lazy people. You will have to work at it to be successful. My husband and I are both perfectionists, opinionated, and strong-willed. Throw in the special needs situation, and you better have a good plan! It is stressful and busy. I honestly learned some things the hard way. The following are lessons I have learned and implemented in my marriage.

May 2012

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God created man, and he is the head of the wife. If you choose to marry, decide immediately your husband is the one in charge. Decide you will respect his God-given position. When we disrespect our husband’s authority, opinion, or preference, we are also telling God we don’t respect or honor Him. Know your husband. What are his preferences? What are his “hot points”? We all have our way of doing things. We don’t always agree—can you believe it?? I know what will make my husband angry. I have to make a conscious effort to do certain things the way he likes so as not to push the hot button!

Remember your vows to love and obey, for better or for worse. Decide you will unconditionally love your husband through good and bad times. Love him when you don’t agree with his decisions. Love him when you feel like you hate his guts and knew your mother gave you a good cast iron skillet for a reason other than cooking! My former pastor, Dr. Jack Hyles, said that a woman can hate her husband’s guts one minute and love him to death the next. This is a true statement!

Make a commitment to resolve disagreements. Little foxes destroy the vine. Little problems tend to cause more havoc than large ones. Where there’s contention, there’s pride. We want our way. Be humble. When I have a disagreement with my husband and I feel he is not going to change his mind, we do it his way. I then take it to the Lord and pray about the situation. I know God will bless me if I do what is right by my husband.

Don’t be a conniver. Sound familiar? Ever watch “I Love Lucy”? Lucy and her best friend Ethel were always conniving to get what they wanted from their husbands. Now this is a funny show, but if you give it some thought, it is a terrible way to run a marriage. Women are good at conniving to get their way. It usually does not turn out so well and causes distrust in the marriage. Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

Don’t divide the TEAM! When you became man and wife, you became a team. One thing that will divide your team is disagreements over your children— handicapped or normal. Have a plan and don’t discuss changes or disagreements in front of the children. I truly believe the Devil especially fights women in this area. Stand together! Stand together! Stand together!

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Be content. Don’t attack your husband’s manhood by complaining about what you don’t have. When we had been married just a few years, we moved into a two-bedroom trailer with two small children. This was a good set-up at the time. I did not, however, plan to live there eleven years with four more children!! I really struggled with this situation. God taught me some much needed lessons. Don’t believe lies the Devil tells you. This started in the Garden of Eden with Eve. The Devil will always put your husband down in your mind. Daily remind yourself of all the things about your honey that you really admire and adore. When you have a negative thought, counter it with something good you like about him immediately.

Control your tongue. It is very easy to spout off when we do not like a decision or a situation. It takes a strong woman to hold her tongue, surrender to her husband’s edict, and trust God for all things to work together for good.

Hit the reset button. When our children were small, I needed time away to refresh. I went once a month to a ladies’ missionary meeting for some time with other good ladies. My husband took me on a date every week. Most of our dates now that our children are older are at home with a cup of coffee and just talking and snuggling. We love being home more than in any restaurant.

Lastly, give your marriage to the Lord daily. I pray for a hedge of protection around my marriage each morning. I also pray that I will respect and love my husband as I should. “Man up” are some of today’s popular buzz words. We need Christian women to strengthen up. Be strong in your marriage. Be strong enough to handle what life throws at you and strong enough to make your marriage work. Be strong enough to let your husband be the leader in your home. Marriage is not for wimps! Strengthen up.

Resources:

How to Speak Husband by Dr. Jack Schaap ($12) How to Speak Wife by Dr. Jack Schaap ($12) Set of two books ~ $20 See page 31 for ordering information christianwomanhood.org

Feature

Decluttering and Or ganization

Getting Organized by Molly Audiss Molly authors Christian Womanhood’s free online devotionals that arrive in your home every Monday.

Psalm 119:133, “Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.”

Some small changes that I call

“little things” can be added to a lady’s life to make a big difference. I want to share little bits of knowledge, that I have learned from others, that have improved the quality and usefulness of my own life. Sometimes we tend to focus on the “big issues” of the Christian life—Bible reading, prayer, witnessing, standards, etc. We have sought to better ourselves in those areas, as we should, but we find ourselves constantly failing because we did not learn some of the “smaller” issues along the way. I am going to address some things that might seem as universal knowledge to those who learned them at an early age. “Everyone knows that,” you may say as you read this article. Maybe, like me, you learned some things as a child, but over the years, as you became busier and busier, sometimes you dropped some goods habits, and you need to push a reset button on some fundamentals. Hopefully, along the way, everyone who reads this article will be helped in some area. Let’s start at the very beginning—the beginning of the day, that is. There are two things I find to be absolutely essential for a productive, low-stress day from the very start:

May 2012

1. 2.

Get up with an alarm clock. Get completely dressed by 8:00 a.m. First, the alarm clock is an absolute must unless you can say, with 100 percent certainty, that your body always wakes up at the right time on its own. I have known people like that. They have gotten up at the same time for so many years that their inner clock wakes them automatically. That must be a nice feeling—one I have never felt! If I relied on my body clock to wake me up, I would sleep about two hours later than I do each day! So for the rest of us, have an alarm and use it! I am not telling you when to get up. I am saying that you will get ten times more done if you set an alarm and you get up when it goes off. I am a light sleeper. When I was in college, I had a roommate who was a heavy sleeper. Unfortunately, this same girl felt the need to set her alarm at a very early hour, before she (or the other three of us) needed to be up. That alarm would go off, and off, and off, and off until we were all fully awake—except her! All that to say, be realistic. Nothing is noble about trying to get up at 4:00 a.m.—if you don’t really need (or plan) to be up until 6:00 a.m. The sleep you get from pushing your snooze button eight times is not really sleep, and it does not help you feel well-rested. Decide when you need to get up, set the alarm, and make yourself get up the first time it goes off. It may be helpful to set the clock across the room so that you have to walk over to shut it off. Because I am a light sleeper, I can wake up to music and

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stay awake. This may not work for everyone. I just hate that BEEP BEEP BEEP sound as the first thing I hear in the morning. I have often admitted that early morning is not my favorite time; therefore, I totally understand how tempting it is to lie in bed after the alarm goes off. But your day will be so much better if you get up and get moving. What you accomplish first thing in the morning (like a walk with God) sets the pace for the rest of the day. When you are running late because you slept in, you are probably yelling at everyone, and the enire family is stressed out! We all make sacrifices in life, and Mom, one of the sacrifices you will need to accept is that you must get up before your children. You are the one who makes everything run smoothly at home—even if you are tired. Try this week to consistently get up each day with an alarm clock, the first time it goes off. Secondly, get completely dressed by 8:00 a.m. If you go to work in the mornings, of course you don’t need this time limit. I’m sure your employer expects you to be out of your pajamas when you get to the job! But for those who work at home or go into work later in the day, I say that you need to have yourself completely ready for the day by 8:00 a.m. I mean that you are dressed in an outfit that you would wear in public, complete with any jewelry, if you choose. Also, your

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hair and makeup should be done and shoes by the door. (I do not normally wear shoes in my house. If you do, then put the shoes on with the outfit. If not, have them ready to put on by the door so you’re not looking for them when it’s time to go). What’s wrong with wearing pajamas all day if you don’t plan to go anywhere? How you dress determines how you perform your work and how much you get done. Also, if you have to go out unexpectedly at some point, you won’t have to waste 30 minutes of “prime time” to get ready later. When we pack to go on vacation, we take our “comfie” clothes because we plan to relax. When we wear those clothes every day, then we are in “relax” mode, and we get very little accomplished. The summer after I graduated from high school, I worked about 12 weeks at a telemarketing office. Because the employees were not face-to-face with the clients, the management did not think they needed a dress code. Girls sat in their chairs in shorts and a tank top, with their legs up over the arm of the chair. It was like a slumber party. I do not need to tell you that not much work got done there. That company went out of business shortly thereafter. What

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Feature

Decluttering and Or ganization

you wear makes a big difference in your performance. Ladies, you do not need to wear your grungiest clothes to do housework. Doing laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, dusting, even cleaning toilets—none of these jobs are so dirty that you must wear stained, faded, holey clothes that are ratty or over-sized, complete with dirty, worn tennis shoes! Lovely! Let’s get past the “anythinggoes-at-home” mentality. What you wear affects how quickly and efficiently you get work accomplished. Even your young children will respect you more and obey you better if you do not look like something the cat dragged in! Have you ever hidden in your house from someone who came to your door because you were still in your robe at 10:30 in the morning? We’ve all been there! We all know that life happens while we’re making other plans, and rest assured, when you look like death warmed over, that’s when you are going to see somebody! So make it a habit to be dressed before the day gets crazy. I realize that one reason we do not get dressed first thing in the morning is that we do not have our closets organized. We do not know where to find a clean, ironed outfit quickly so that we can simply put it on. Our shoes and jewelry boxes are not in order. By the time life gets busy, the iron is still warming up while we try to find an outfit that fits us and looks nice. We must consider which one will match the one clean pair of tights we have that does not have a run. Which outfit will go with the shoes that we can find and which don’t need polishing? Start

Anecdotes

digging in the clean laundry piles on the couch! These real issues must be dealt with—but not this month! In this article, I am asking you to find that one outfit, anyway you can, the night before, complete with accessories, legwear, and shoes, and get it all put together for the next day before going to bed. Just one outfit—do not try to start off by pulling apart the entire closet. Just start small and do the two points I have listed. We all need these little reminders from time to time. I write these articles mainly to myself. Let’s go back and create a few needed habits that will help us lead lower-stress, productive, useful lives for our families and the Lord.

Resources:

Bringing Order to Your Home Set of 5 CDs ~ $20 • “How to Schedule Your Time” by Elaine Colsten • “Our Best as Homemakers” by Frieda Cowling • “Over 30 Practical Tips to Help You Get Organized” by Elaine Colsten • “Seven Common Time Wasters” by Marlene Evans • “Utilizing Your Time Well” by Marlene Evans See page 31 for ordering information

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Just Get The Book

by Robin Parton Pastor’s Wife, Timberline Baptist Church, Manitou Springs, Colorado

There was a time in our ministry when I had to teach kindergarten in our home. The class consisted of four children, one of whom was our son David. One day after all of the children left, David climbed up on my lap and asked me if I could teach the other kids in the morning and then teach him by himself in the afternoon. I told David that if I did that I did not know when I would be able to get all of the housework done. He very confidently said, “Just get the book Is There Life After Housework?, and they will tell you how to do it.” Author’s note: I have never read this book by Don Aslett, so I cannot personally vouch for it. 16

May 2012

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Feature

Decluttering and Or ganization

Finish What You by Diana Tourtillott Church/School Secretary Calvary Baptist Church Canton, Illinois

I have a tendency to start a project and

then get sidetracked on another project before the first one is finished. I find this to be true at home and at work. At home it’s easy to leave a load of towels in the dryer to fold later. However, later always comes, so procrastination does not pay off. Therefore, I must make myself fold those clothes whether or not I want to fold them. If I toss my bathrobe on the bed, leave mail on the counter, dishes in the sink, and shoes by the door, eventually my house gets that cluttered look. Then I find that I’m settling for “good enough” and may end up being embarrassed if someone drops by. If I’m having company, I frantically clean to make my home “company clean.” I’m cheating my family by doing so. They deserve to live in a clean, uncluttered home all the time. After all, my family and home are my career. At work, I juggle being the secretary for the pastor, the church, and the school. My job is my ministry, and I love it. Not only do I serve the pastoral staff and the teaching staff, but I also serve the people of the church. For the pastoral staff, I type a lot of letters and make phone calls. For the teachers, I run off the students’ papers and keep school records. For the people of the church, I type resumes, make their business cards, notarize their documents, and try to help them in any way I can. Sometimes I get so many projects going that I do an okay job rather than an excellent job. God does not want me to be a mediocre servant. He wants me to be my best whether I’m serving my family or my church. I was trained as a teacher—not a secretary—so I’ve had to learn new things. I’ve had to learn to prioritize my jobs and to control my time. In the past if I was working on a project and someone dropped in my office and asked me to do something for them, I would drop what I was doing to help them. But now I have learned to control my time.

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The following are a few things I’ve learned.

First, time is something I manage—not something that manages me. I have to think through each commitment before I make a decision. Sometimes I have to buy some time by asking, “Can I let you know tomorrow?”

Second, I have to decide what is truly urgent and what can wait. I write down what needs to be done and in what order I think is most important. When a task is completed, I check it off and move to the next item.

Third, I have to be honest about my limitations and be willing to ask for help. There are many ladies who can do a better job and have more time to do something that Preacher wants done. For instance, we have a lady who is a whiz at creating flyers. Something that takes me a while to do, she does in minutes. Since she is willing to do them, it lifts a load from my shoulders. I can’t let pride (thinking that’s my job) stand in the way of someone else’s being a blessing in the ministry. If I want to be joyful at the end of the day rather than stressed, then I must not procrastinate but finish my jobs and finish them well. If I want to please my family, those with whom I work, and my Lord, then I must serve them to the best of my ability and finish what I start.

Resources:

Bringing Order to My Disordered World by Dr. Jack Schaap (Free sermon download) www.hylespublications.com See page 31 for ordering information

christianwomanhood.org

Home

Homemaking Hints

Cleaning is Not For Wimps By Sue Prough Sue and her husband Mike are longtime members of First Baptist Church of Hammond.

A home that has been deep cleaned is so rewarding!

I really like knowing things are in place. It helps me be less “rattled” when I can find what I need—in the first five minutes of looking! Even though a home has a weekly routine clean, a deep clean is necessary. Once a year is enough for me! My thoughts of Scripture for this project have to be a little more intense! Ecclesiastes 9:10 says, “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might….” What great advice to program my mind for a deep clean! This section of the verse gives me a boost of…“Let’s get with it!” With my routine house cleaning, I have a plan to get my house cleaned all in one day. With the deep clean, I must work on one room at a time. (Editor’s Note: I recommend doing one room a week.) For the most part, I focus on one room—unless it is a connecting dining room/ living room, etc. Then I try to tackle them both so I won’t get the clean room dusty when I clean the connecting one. Breaking it down into a plan that is doable is important for me. I do not deep clean on my regular cleaning day. It seems easy to get so wrapped up in one room with organizing and sorting drawers that the entire house never gets cleaned on cleaning day. I love having a room deep cleaned when it is finished! Getting started is my first step.

I begin by taking down the draperies or window treatments—unless I can vacuum them and get the area clean around them. I usually take down my draperies and tumble them in the dryer or give them a good shaking outside.

Now I remove everything from the walls to another room or to a place where I can dust or vacuum it. Picture frames get cleaned with glass cleaner. Wreaths get dusted or vacuumed. Ivy or silk plants can be dipped in warm soapy water, rinsed, and set aside.

May 2012

Next, I remove what I can from the room that needs cleaned. Knickknacks get washed or wiped off. Doilies get washed. The bedspread and blankets are washed or cleaned. I like to turn and vacuum the mattress.

I wipe down the ceiling fan and remove the globes, if possible. I do the same with the light fixtures—wipe them down and remove the globes to dip in water for a real clean! I like to remove them for cleaning since I have met with electricity while trying to get them clean with a damp rag! At least wear rubber gloves.

I wipe down the blinds. We have the faux wood blinds, so the individual slats need to be wiped down. I made some mitts out of a cleaning cloth that I purchased. (These mitts also work great for washing chairs, stair rails, or anything with small details that are hard to get to.) Even vertical blinds get so dirty they need to be wiped down individually. After blinds are clean, I pull them all the way up to keep them clean, and I clean the window on the inside using a squeegee with a scrubber. Warm water and very little dish washing detergent works well. After finishing the window, I wipe the edges and the woodwork with a cleaning rag. Paper towels and glass cleaner do not get windows clean; they make a real mess of them! I do not use newspapers; it just makes more of a mess for me. The squeegee set is the answer for me.

NOW I feel like I am on the road to accomplishing something. Things are too torn up to back out! Here we go! I like to vacuum the room—cleaning up the mess I just made. Then as much as possible, I move the furniture out from the walls into the center of the room. This lets me get behind everything to wash or dust the walls. Using a long duster on the ceiling and around the edges will get any cobwebs or dust that gets missed on my regular cleaning day. I wipe down the back of furniture or dust it. The baseboards also get a wash down. While I am at it, I go ahead and wipe down the furniture with a damp cloth to get it ready to polish later.

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Next, I vacuum the room behind/under where all the furniture goes as it is put back into place. Hang the draperies. Vacuum once again, and the room is ready to put things in order—the décor back on the walls, the clean knickknacks back in place, clean the mirrors, and polish the wood.

Deep Cleaning for the Kitchen

I go through all the cupboards—sorting and tossing! I like to vacuum the inside of cupboards and drawers and wipe them down before replacing their contents. I clean the inside of the refrigerator, microwave, and other appliances. The entire room gets attention. And I always end up with more space because of putting things in order and throwing out anything that I don’t need or that is outdated.

Deep Cleaning for the Bathroom

I go through all the cabinets just the same—vacuuming, wiping down, and quickly sorting as I go. I also wash the baseboards, wipe the walls, and/or dust. Just about everything gets washed or wiped down—the wall décor, rugs, shower curtains, light fixtures, etc. After I have made my way around the room, I vacuum everywhere and wash the floors. I rarely use a mop unless it is a huge area of flooring. On a deep clean, I wash the flooring on my hands and knees. ——— As I work on each room, I am getting the entire house deep cleaned. What a wonderful accomplishment for me! Sometimes I bribe myself. For example, I will buy new decorative pillows, towel sets, or rugs that I don’t put out until the room is completely deep cleaned! Realize that the more rooms you have, the longer it will take you to do a deep clean. I also plan a time to go through my closets and drawers—sorting, organizing, and donating items that someone could use. Shoes, handbags, linens, etc. are all sorted and organized. Sorting for me goes more smoothly if I have bags ready to load up! I put what is left in order by item or color—whatever works best. I truly hope sharing my plan/system will be helpful. Hopefully, it will help all of us get going—add ideas of your own to make your situation doable! Those of you who are on top of clean—Congratulations!!! No, CLEANING IS NOT FOR WIMPS! It is hard work that takes character!

Resources:

A Taste of Paradise Cookbook ($10) A comprehensive section of homemaking tips is included.

Toll Free 855-214-6551

christianwomanhood.org

Marriages

When Bad Things Happen to Good Marriages

What If We Didn’t Have Scars? Anonymous

It’s interesting

that most articles written on adultery come from the offended party’s point of view. After all, he or she is the one left to clean up the mess that the offender has made of his or her life. The truths about forgiveness and Christlikeness that an offended spouse can offer are comforting and enlightening. But what if you are the one who hurt your spouse? What if it was YOU who created a hole in your marriage big enough to drive a MACK truck through? What do you do now? You can say you are sorry until you’re blue in the face, but forgiveness never seems to really, truly come. How can forgiveness be real when your past mistakes are brought up continually by your spouse and you are constantly reminded of the awful place you once were? How do you move on from that? I’ve been there, and I want to offer some help.

You must realize that you need help and that help IS available to you. I John 2:1 says, “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” Of course, the obvious choice here would be NOT to sin in the first place. The laws of God are not set up to strangle us and keep us from enjoying life. They are set up to protect us from the intense pain that comes as a consequence of sin. But, what is done is done. You can’t go back—no matter how hard you try! You can’t undo it, and you can’t erase it. So stop trying. Stop trying to pretend it didn’t happen. Stop trying to sugar coat it and make excuses for what you did. You need help just as much as the offended spouse. You need someone on your side—Someone Who will stand in the gap for you. Lucky for you, Jesus Christ is willing to do that for you. He already took the shame of your sin, and He paid the price. He knows how it feels to be ashamed. He was stripped naked for the entire world to see. When the shame of your sin overwhelms you, He knows how you feel! He is your Advocate, the Bible says. The definition of the word advocate is “one who pleads the case of another.” Jesus is there to plead your case!! Use HIM!! Don’t plead your case alone. It isn’t worth it, and it won’t work.

May 2012

Be honest with God. If you are going to let God plead your case, you need to tell Him the whole story (even though He already knows); He wants to hear it from you! Can you imagine hiring a lawyer and not giving him all the details to put together a solid case for you? You have to be honest with God. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Isaiah 43:25 and 26 says, “I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Put ME in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.” When God says to “put Him in remembrance,” He wants us to remind Him—remind Him that He doesn’t remember our sin! Of course we would be reminding Him not for His sake, but for ours. When you confess and forsake your sin, you can live in the freedom that the Cross offers you. You have authority in prayer through Jesus Christ. Claim it!!

Ask for prayer. In dealing with my sin, shame, guilt, and the desire to move on, I made another big mistake. I wanted to go it alone. I wanted so badly to prove that I wasn’t really a “bad person”! Look at me! I can get my act together all by myself. Thankfully, my wise husband and my caring pastor knew better and forced me to get counsel on a regular basis from my pastor’s wife. Although uncomfortable at first, I soon realized that I needed to get help. I needed to understand why this happened in my life, where I let down my guard, and how I could prevent it from happening again. Please don’t be ashamed to ask for help. Details Toll Free 855-214-6551

aren’t necessary, but get as many people as possible praying for you and your spouse. Bang down the doors of Heaven for wisdom, strength, and courage to move forward.

Recognize the fight. Yup. You guessed it. It’s not over yet. Five years after I ripped my home apart, I still fight daily. I fight the condemning thoughts that my sin brings. I fight the memory of what I did when I see pain in my husband’s eyes. I fight the thought of what I put Jesus through when I look at the Cross. The Devil obviously wants me (and YOU!) and my family. It must make Him furious that my husband was surrendered enough to God to hold on through the pain I caused him. Satan is not going to give up now. Sure, I handed him a giant box of ammunition to use against my family for the rest of our lives, but God is bigger than that. The battle is much too big to fight alone. I often think of the words Jesus spoke on the Cross in Luke 23:46, which says, “And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.” It feels so good sometimes to just lay it down and say, “Jesus, this is yours. I’m sorry you have to deal with it, but I just can’t. I don’t have the strength. I need You to fight for me today.” Surrender it all to Him. I promise His shoulders are big enough!

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Hopefully, you didn’t commit the same sin I did. But we all mess up. We all need grace and forgiveness. He offers it to you, my friend. A line from one of my favorite songs reads, “Heal the wound, but leave the scar. A reminder of how merciful YOU are!” I love that line because right after I was found out and I was trying to save my marriage, I wanted so badly for the memory of it to be erased. I wanted everyone, including my husband, to just forget that it ever happened. Many years later though, I can honestly say I am thankful for the scar. I’m glad I’m not in the emergency room anymore, but I am thankful that I know what it feels like to be there. I’m thankful for the mercy that my husband, pastor, pastor’s wife, and of course my Saviour offered me. I am forever indebted to them. The least I can do is pay it forward, offer grace to others, and tell you, dear reader, that you are not alone. You were worth dying for. And speaking from personal experience, scars really aren’t that bad. Without them, you would never know how much you need Him.

Resources:

How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick ($7.99) Living Purely in an Impure World by Dr. Jim Binney ($16.95)

christianwomanhood.org

Perspectives

From the Pastor’s Heart

Dancing in the Bible & The New Song Principle

by Dr. Jack Schaap Pastor, First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indianas

Singing and dancing

were often mentioned in the Old Testament. In the Old Testament, singing and dancing were paired together 22 times. Nine times women were dancing. One time the nation of Israel was dancing naked. One time the animals were dancing. One time the drunken Amalekites were dancing after they had stolen all of David’s goods. Three times the Bible records instances of David’s dancing. One time little children were dancing. Three times in the book of Psalms, Israel is told to rejoice and dance as they are delivered from their problems. Through the years, a common question I have heard is, “What kind of dancing is acceptable?” According to the Scripture citings, most of the dancing in the Old Testament was performed by women. “And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod. 15So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet. 16And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.” (II Samuel 6:14-16) David was celebrating a victory the Lord had wrought. When the Bible mentions dancing, usually the women were dancing alone. The women and men danced together on only two occasions. In Exodus 32, Moses found the Israelite

May 2012

men and women were dancing naked around the golden calf built by Aaron as a reminder of their former Egyptian gods. In I Samuel 30, the Amalekites invaded Ziklag and took the Israelite women captive. David and his men pursued the invaders and found them drunken and dancing, celebrating their spoiling of and then their destruction of Ziklag. In the New Testament, dancing is mentioned five times. Two of the times are mentioned twice. The first mention is in Luke 7:31, 32, which says, “And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like? They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.” In this Scripture Jesus is referring to their culture. Musicians often played their national music in the marketplace while others danced to the music. Jesus was simply saying that He was playing the national song, but the people were not doing His dance. He was not referring to some kind of wild dance. Those who travel abroad to foreign countries understand how it can be when visiting the marketplace. Venders in individual huts sell different items in these huge, sprawling marketplaces. Every now and then, musicians play the national instrument, and many times someone nearby performs a culture-based dance. In this Scripture, Jesus was referring to this exact type of situation.

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Jesus used an illustration not to address singing or dancing. Rather, Jesus used the illustration to refer to the fact that the people were angry at Him for not following their religious way of thinking (See also Matthew 11:17). Both Matthew 14:6 and Mark 6:22 record the story of the daughter of Herodias dancing before King Herod for the head of John the Baptist. A woman danced in a manner that accomplished a heinous purpose. The only other time that dancing is found in the New Testament is in Luke 15:25-27: “Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. 26And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. 27And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.” In the story of the prodigal son, the father represents God the Father. The younger son primarily represents the Gentile people who ran away. The elder son represents the Jewish people who knew the Bible and stayed. This beautiful story relates the prodigal’s coming to his senses, returning home, receiving his father’s forgiveness, and celebrating with a party. When the older son comes home, he hears the joyful music and dancing. Jesus Christ is saying by means of a parable that the Heavenly Father gets very excited when somebody is redeemed or saved. There is celebrating with both music and dancing. I believe with all of my heart that there will be music and dancing in Heaven. However, Heaven’s dancing and singing will not be the kind of dancing people are used to seeing in the world. Rather, it will be the dancing of very joyful people who are rejoicing—not over the lust and indulgence of sin—but over the joy of redemption that God has created for every man.

The New Song Principle

I find it remarkable that so much is recorded about music in the Old Testament, but little is noted in the New Testament. Not one verse of teaching is given specifically for a pastor about music in a church. Music is such an integral part of today’s churches, yet the Bible says nothing in the pastoral epistles of I Timothy, II Timothy, or Titus about music. The pastoral epistles were letters written specifically to pastors to teach them how to conduct themselves in church. I Timothy 3:15 says, “But if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth.” Paul says nothing about music. I believe the absence of New Testament instruction for churches about music has two implications:

The absence of instruction seems to indicate that pastors should adopt the Old Testament model of music. Since music began at the very beginning of Creation and is found all the way through Revelation, then the Biblical model is a complete model—not just a New Testament church model.

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The Bible principle of “new song” should be followed. Six of the nine times that “new song” is mentioned in the Bible are found in the Psalms. Obviously God is teaching a principle about new songs. The first time “new song” is mentioned is in Psalm 33:3, which says, “Sing unto him a new song; play skilfully with a loud noise.” God loves loud music, but that does not mean that every song should be loud and forceful. “Loud” does not always translate to “good.” I have often said, “If you are not a very good musician, just sing loudly; people will still like to hear it!” Psalm 40:3, “And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” Psalm 96:1, “O sing unto the Lord a new song: sing unto the Lord, all the earth.” Psalm 98:1, “O sing unto the Lord a new song; for he hath done marvellous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory.” Psalm 144:9, “I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee.” Psalm 149:1, “Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints.” Isaiah 42:10, “Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise from the end of the earth….” In each one of these Scriptures, God commands the Christian to sing a new song. The last two places God mentions a new song are found in Revelation. Revelation 5:9, “And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation.” Revelation 14:3, “And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth.”

Defining the New Song Principle

What exactly is the “new song” principle? God performed something in your life that is life-changing, and God likes to hear that kind of song the most. He even provides the topics. The new song is not always about salvation, but salvation is certainly life-changing, so a Christian should sing many songs about his “new name written down in glory”! These verses also refer to new events. In 1776 a new nation came into being that changed the course of the entire world. Therefore, Americans should remember and sing songs about their independence and their freedom.

christianwomanhood.org

Perspectives

Falling in love and getting married bring great change! Love and marriage change a couple forever! For that reason, many songs should be about love. Solomon wrote 1,005 love songs because love changes a person’s life. The principle of “new song” addresses what changes a person’s life for the good. The Christian should sing about the change of good that came into his world—not about failures or what is wrong. Many songs qualify for the “new song” principle. Most people who are inspired to compose songs write about what brought change to their life. The “new song” principle is why I would not listen to music or sing songs about going to the bar room to find another woman and hope for the best. Everything about the message of this kind of song violates the “new song” principle because the “new song” principle centers on the good that changed one’s life. That change could apply to a country, a family, a people, a church, or an individual. The principle is applied in the same way for the rock ’n’ roll genre of music. Is the song a new song about something good that happened, or do the words of the song just talk about how black and dark that person’s life is and how suicide is the only answer? Hundreds of thousands of songs have been written about death and suicide, and they all violate the “new song” principle. The Bible says to emphasize new songs. In Heaven,

May 2012

From a Pastor’s Heart

there will be new songs. None of Heaven’s songs will magnify the old life. When people ask, “Pastor Schaap, do you like the new songs or the old songs?” I answer, “Yes!” I like “And Can It Be That I Should Gain” which was written a couple of hundred years ago. I don’t disregard the old Gospel songs because they are old, and I don’t dismiss new songs because they are new. I probably like the newest Christian song or the newest love song if it addresses the wonderful changes that love brings to a person’s life. Being an old song or a new song is not what makes the song appropriate and acceptable. For some people, the song has to be at least 50 years old. That standard has zero effect on my thinking. Rather, I look at songs on the merit of whether or not they are “new songs.” Church music should all center around the “new song” principle.

Resources: The Bible and Music: From Creation to Revelation by Dr. Jack Schaap ($7)

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F eature

Decluttering and Or ganization

Weekly Guide to Cleaning Your Home by Michelle Cowling

Kitchen

1. Keep counters free of clutter. Wipe down all counters and backsplash with appropriate cleanser. 2. Thoroughly clean microwave, inside and out. 3. Scrub kitchen sink with appropriate cleanser. 4. Clean with Windex the faucet, the kitchen window (mine gets splattered above the sink), and any patio or deck doors. 5. Wipe down all the appliances. 6. Vacuum or sweep, including under the table and chairs. 7. Wash the floor with appropriate cleanser.

Bathrooms

1. Take everything out of the tub and/or shower. Wipe out with a paper towel. Spray with cleaning solution. Scrub with a damp sponge. Rinse using a large cup. Pay attention to corners, grout, shower door, and sliding door tracks. Wipe shampoo bottles, etc., and replace in the tub or shower. 2. Wipe down the toilet from top to bottom with a paper towel, including under the lid and seat. Sprinkle abrasive cleanser (like Comet) from bottom to top. Use a damp sponge that is reserved for toilet-cleaning only! Scrub, making sure to get all the little spaces under the seat, inside the toilet bowl, and at the base of the toilet. Rinse the sponge thoroughly, then wipe the cleanser off of the toilet. Squirt in toilet bowl cleaner in addition, if necessary. 3. Take everything off of the sink. Wipe it off with a paper towel. Spray with cleaning solution. Scrub with a sponge, paying attention to the drain area. Rinse the cleanser off of the counter and sink bowl. 4. Clean with Windex the mirror, sink and tub faucets, towel racks, and toilet paper holder. Make them sparkle! 5. Wipe off bath scale, light switches, and any decorative accessories. 6. Remove any rugs or bath mats. Vacuum the floor with appropriate attachment. Vacuum or shake out the rugs/mats. 7. Scrub the floor on your hands and knees with a large sponge using superhot water and appropriate cleanser. Replace the rugs when the floor is dry. 8. Stand in the doorway and admire your work!

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Living Room, Family Room, Bedrooms

1. Make sure “everything is in its place,” put away properly. 2. With a feather duster, dust picture frames and window blinds. Check for cobwebs on the ceiling and light fixtures. 3. Dust all the furniture. Pick up and dust all “knickknacks.” Don’t forget stair railings and the top of the china cabinet! 4. Clean with Windex any decorative mirrors or other items. 5. Vacuum. If you have the proper attachments, it is much better to vacuum your hardwood or tiled floors as well. If you don’t have the proper vacuum attachments, sweep the floors. Be sure to get under the coffee table, the chairs, and the end tables, and if possible move the couch. Get into the corners too! 6. Wash any hard-surface floors (tile, stone, wood, linoleum, etc.) with superhot water and the appropriate cleansers. Mop wood floors going with the grain of the wood. If using a bucket, change the water when it is dirty or cold. Rinse out the mop frequently. 7. Don’t you feel great? Your house looks terrific!

P.S. I realize I haven’t mentioned emptying the

trash cans. In my home, that is my children’s responsibility. If that doesn’t work for you, just empty the trash after the room is clean but before the floors are washed/vacuumed.

christianwomanhood.org

Testimony

Dale! Wake Up!

Dale is carried to shore by surf rescue team leader, Doug Knutson.

Photo courtesy of Damian Mulinix, Staff Photo journalist, Chinook Observer

! e l a D e k a W Up! by LeeAnn Conner LeeAnn is a staff member at Prepare Now Resources. She and her husband Clyde are the grandparents of Dale.

Two boys

from the youth group at Bethel Baptist Church, Spanaway, Washington, were wading in the kneedeep surf of Cranberry Beach, Washington, when a wicked riptide sucked their feet out from under them and yanked them out into deeper water. Hearing cries of help, Shannon Kissel grabbed his boogie board and headed for one of the boys, yelling to his 12-year-old daughter Nicole to stay near shore. Nicole, however, was already on her board and headed for Dale Ostrander. She pulled him onto her board with her, and both kicked frantically to reach the shore, but a huge wave slammed them both down to the sandy bottom. Nicole reached out for Dale again as both of them surfaced and began swimming toward the board now 20 feet away. Again Dale was sucked under by a riptide, and Mr. Kissel yelled for someone to call 911 while 32 teens, as if of one mind, dropped to their knees on the beach, praying for a miracle. Their youth pastor, Jon Minge, took the Kissels’ board and began searching, not sighting Dale in any direction. Further up the beach, three surf rescue team members were practicing maneuvers and got the call. Within ten minutes, they began criss-crossing the waters, but 15 minutes passed with no sighting of Dale. One rescuer, Will Green,

May 2012

spotted what he thought was “seaweed” and discovered it was Dale’s hair. Grabbing Dale’s arm, Will pulled him into a tight hug, expelling a geyser of water from his lungs and stomach. Will put Dale aboard Eddie Mendez’s ski jet, telling him the boy was already gone. Team leader Doug Knutson brought Dale ashore to paramedics, and CPR was performed for ten minutes with no results. Later Will told us that the pastor’s wife, Darlene Minge, and several of the teens were yelling “Don’t stop!” so Commander Knutson told the paramedics not to quit performing CPR—even though he was also quite sure they had a fatality. Dale was rushed to a small but wonderfully efficient hospital in Ilwaco where a ragged pulse was detected after yet another 30 minutes of CPR. He was then placed on a life-flight to Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland, Oregon. The life-flight nurse, who came to visit Dale in the hospital, told us that none of Dale’s rescue team—the paramedics or the ER nurse—would give up and call the time of death. Chad and Kirsten, Dale’s parents, were at home when their assistant pastor, Tim Minge, drove in to tell them about Dale. Kirsten immediately called my cell phone and could only get out one word, “Mom!”

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Hearing her tone, I asked, “What’s wrong?” Chad took the phone and told us all he knew and that they were leaving for the hospital, would call with any news, and to please pray. “I don’t know if my son is dead or alive!” About an hour later, Chad received a call telling them that Dale was being airlifted to Portland—almost three hours from their home. Thankfully, Dale now had a good heartbeat but ragged breathing. At Doernbecher’s, Dale was put into a medically induced coma and placed in a cold room for 24 hours. We were told if there were to be any responsiveness, it would show up by Sunday afternoon. By Sunday evening, Dale still appeared to be in a coma. Chad prayed for God to give him some kind of sign that his son was still “in there.” A short time later, Dale’s physician, Dr. Shabata, came in to tell them that there was no hope of any recovery. Dale’s blood acid levels indicated that he was under water too long, and the other tests to check for reflex and response had shown nothing. Chad told the doctor that it seemed Dale was listening when they spoke to him, so the doctor explained some of the tests already performed on Dale with no response. When Dr. Shabata demonstrated the sternum rub with her knuckles on Dale’s chest, Dale knocked the doctor’s hand away. Dr. Shabata leaned over in Dale’s face and loudly said, “Dale, wake up!”…and Dale opened his eyes. After the nurse cleaned from his eyes the protective gel that is used for coma patients, he looked over at Kirsten and mouthed the word “Mom.” When the doctor later removed the breathing tube, she told Dale to cough to see if his lungs were clear. Dale answered in a hoarse voice, “I don’t need to.” Thus began Dale’s amazing story of recovery. I was blessed to be able to fly to Portland with my husband Clyde to spend a week at the hospital with our daughter Kirsten and Dale. Kirsten and I sang children’s Scripture songs to Dale, and he would try to sing along and do the hand motions to some of the songs. When we stopped singing to give him a rest, he would take hold of my hand and then his mom’s. Then he smiled so his grandpa could take his picture. When Clyde bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, Dale reached up to hug his grandpa’s neck. Two nights later Dale began to jerk violently and arch his back. Kirsten held onto one of his arms while I held the other. A nurse held his legs, and the doctor gave him a cocktail of drugs to calm him—to no avail. The thrashings came in cycles, and then Dale had what appeared to be three seizures. An EEG, however, showed no signs of any seizures. A doctor from the brain trauma ward was called in, and he identified Dale’s thrashings and seizure-like episodes as the brain’s “storming”—trying to rewire its connectors. She assured us that it was nothing to worry about and would probably last from three to six months. It was like the brain was telling the

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hand to move up, down, right, and left all at the same time. The doctor encouragingly said that Dale would quickly learn control once he started rehab. The next day the physical therapists got him up to walk all around the ward, and Dale loved it. While he was walking or being pushed in a wheelchair, there was NO storming. Dale’s brain mostly stormed in the evenings when he didn’t have as much on which to focus his attention. Someone had to be right beside him at all times to keep him from pulling or dislodging feeding tubes, PICC lines, bandages, and clothing and to keep him from climbing out of bed. Then came the day of his transfer, about three weeks into his hospital stay, when Dale was sent to Mary Bridge Rehab, about 20 minutes from their home. Every day was full of activities to do to help Dale regain strength and coordination. Not long after this structured rehab began, the storming slowed considerably. Wonderful games helped Dale refine his hand movements while video games triggered by sound helped him to speak more clearly as his lungs and throat healed from the burning of the ocean’s salt water. At one point, though, Dale rebelled at the picture matching the occupational therapist was trying to get him to do. At first, Kirsten didn’t understand why. Then she realized that Dale felt his intelligence was being insulted by the simplicity of the exercise. Kirsten then wrote out a number of math problems for the average 12 year old, including addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, and square roots. Dale got them all correct. The story problem his mom wrote out stumped him until he realized he had divided instead of multiplying. Soon came September 20—the day Dale went home. He is continuing in an outpatient rehab program to regain muscle strength in his legs. His lungs have healed completely, and he is in school doing well in his grade level. Kirsten is a teacher in their Christian school, so she was there to help him his first two months back. The support of his teachers and his friends has been amazing. Dale’s goofy sense of humor has returned, and he seems more and more each day like the Dale everyone knew. He is definitely quieter and more patient—a refining by God. How do you say “Thank you” to the Lord for such an incredible miracle? I do not know why God chose Dale—and all of us—for such a great gift, but I am humbled to be a part of it.

Resources:

Issues Women Face: The Chronically Ill Child ($5) Sickness Without Despair by Marlene Evans (Regularly $15) Now $5

See page 31 for ordering information

christianwomanhood.org

r e t t i w TeenT

She’s SO Mean! by Jaclynn Weber Jaclynn is a stay-at-home mom of four: two girls and two boys.

I was asked the question,

“What do I do when someone doesn’t like me?” in a recent letter, and it has been asked by many teen girls with whom I have talked. It seems like there is always someone or some group of people who want to make someone else’s life miserable if for no reason other than it is just fun. I cannot tell you exactly why people act this way, although I can give you some reasons why they might act the way they do. Nor can I tell you how to make them like you since we cannot force people to do anything. I can tell you how to handle it when people hurt you and how to keep yourself from getting hurt over and over again. When I was in school, I had many friends, I tried to be friendly to everyone, and I was very outgoing. I loved to have fun, laugh, and be with my friends. I was even voted most outgoing during my senior year of high school. Yet, for as long as I can remember, there has always been someone or some group of people who have not liked me—for whatever reason. They just didn’t, and no matter how nice I tried to be or how hard I tried to gain their approval, they were not going to like me. If I was too quiet, they didn’t like me; if I was too loud, they didn’t like me; if I talked to them too much, they didn’t like me; if I ignored them, they didn’t like me. They just didn’t like me! It is very stressful and frustrating to try to get someone to like you who does not and will not change. During a particularly difficult time when I was having problems with some girls in our youth group, my mom and dad gave me some great advice that I have never forgotten. I would like to share their words of wisdom with you, and I hope and pray it will

May 2012

be a huge help to you! First of all, let me remind you that the Bible has the answer to EVERY problem we face, including how to handle “difficult people” in our lives. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly….” (Proverbs 18:24) “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18) “And be ye kind one to another….” (Ephesians 4:32) One of the greatest things my parents ever taught me about difficult people is that they are just people. It’s easy for us to almost idolize our peers and to bend over backward to please them, especially when they don’t like us. Let me say that no one should have that kind of power over anyone. Even the most popular kids or the meanest kids are just kids. They are no better (and no worse) than you, and they should be treated kindly, but not better than anyone else. It’s so easy just to focus on that one person who can’t stand you and to forget about all of the people who like you and want to be around you. They are the ones who should receive your love and attention—not the ones who act like they are better than you. Never let them have that kind of control over you; only God and your authorities should have that place in your life—not your peers. One of the greatest life lessons you can learn is that life is not all about you! It’s a lesson that has taken me years to learn and one that I am still learning! When someone is rude to me, I immediately think, “What have I done to them?!? Why don’t they like me?? After all, I am such a likeable person!” What we do not sometimes realize though is what is actually behind that mean look, that harsh word, or that whisper

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behind our backs. People who are mean and hurtful almost always have a hurting heart inside. They are insecure, sad, broken, or hurt, and they do not know how to handle their feelings, so they lash out at anyone and everyone who will “take it.” When they see that they have hurt you, that makes them feel worse about themselves, and they can become even more mean and hateful. It’s like a vicious cycle: someone hurts them, they become mean to hide their pain, the pain gets worse when they hurt others, and they become more mean to hide their pain. The cycle goes on and on until they turn to God or tosomeone who can help them learn how to handle their problems without biting off everyone’s head—so to speak! Have you ever felt like you were the object of someone’s hatred and anger? It’s not a fun place to be, and it’s hard to know how to handle people like this. If I can encourage you to look at those people as broken and try to understand that their anger has nothing to do with you but is a reflection of what is in their hearts, it might be easier to understand. When I was about seven years old, my parents bought me a dog for my birthday. He was a black mix, a pretty dog, and we named him “Dutch Boy.” I loved Dutch, but he was a naughty dog. He would run away for days sometimes and then show up at the door. He chewed up everything we owned it seemed—the couch, our shoes, and then my dad’s work boots. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. When he chewed up my dad’s boots, I knew he was in trouble! I went to school soon after, and came home to find out that Dutch was gone. My parents had given him away. I was very sad that he was gone, but I knew he was a “bad dog,” and I also knew he wasn’t coming back. Dutch was not born mean though. Most dogs, if cared for properly, are very kind, cuddly, and good. They only become mean if they are hurt or abused and if they have no one to care for them. You know, it’s the same with people. People are not born mean and cruel; they become like that when they are hurt, abused, and ill-treated. I know it is painful when someone is rude or mean to us. Yet, if you can look behind that frowning face and listen behind those harsh words, you will probably find someone who is broken and hurting. You cannot fix those people; you can only pray for them and be kind. Every person in this world needs kindness, and that is something you can give to everyone—no matter how they treat you. They cannot make you ignore them or not smile at them, and they can’t keep you from praying for them. So give it to God, be kind, and let Him do the rest. Then go out, make your own friends, and enjoy the life that God has given you! “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

What I Believe About Dating

When it comes

to the matter of dating, so much could be said! Let me just share a few thoughts that I feel may help you when you start to date. Besides your eternal salvation, I believe that the most important decision you will ever make is who you decide to marry, and of course, who you date will determine that decision.

Before you ever start to date, make sure you know what you believe and what your standards will be. Never waver in these areas and always stand up for your standards and what you believe.

2 3

Make yourself accountable to someone in authority. Have chaperones, seek counsel on whom to date, etc.

Always stay above reproach, especially in this matter of dating. If you think it sounds questionable or that it could lead to trouble, then don’t do it. Never say or do anything that would even appear to be inappropriate or compromise your testimony. I Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”

About the Author by Jaclynn Weber Sheri Dalton is one of my dearest friends in the world. We grew up together, and she has been a true, loyal, loving, unselfish, and faithful friend through the years. She and I are best friends, and we both married best friends, Dave Dalton and Todd Weber, who played basketball together all through school. David and Sheri are so cute together, and I admire their love for each other and for God. I would encourage you to follow her advice on dating and to copy other ladies like her. I hope and pray you will be as happy someday in your marriage as Dave and Sheri and as Todd and I are!

Resources: When Everything Isn’t Black and White by Dr. Jack Schaap ($12.75) Is God Real to You? by Jaclynn Weber ($6)

Jaclynn Weber (left) and Sheri Dalton (right)

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Salvation

Let’s Go Soul W inning

Running Errands by Evelyn Bowse

Pastor’s Wife Pleasant Valley Baptist Church Tracy, California

Thursday was a typical, errand-running day. I went

to the bank and then to the post office. As I was getting out of my car at the post office, I noticed a lady sitting in the car next to me. I only intended to give her a tract to read while she waited, but when I invited her to church, she said, “I really should go to church, shouldn’t I?” “Yes, you should,” I playfully responded. I continued more seriously, “But more importantly, do you know for sure you are going to Heaven?” Roseanne didn’t know for sure, but she wanted to know. Though three people climbed into her car as I finished giving her the plan of salvation, she continued to give her undivided attention to the urgent matter of her eternal soul’s destiny. She unashamedly prayed aloud to receive Christ as her Saviour. “You made my day!” I said to her as I was leaving. She responded, “YOU made MY day!”

Resources:

The Trainer’s Soul-Winning Manual by Fay Dodson ($25) The Trainee’s Soul-Winning Manual by Fay Dodson ($20) See page 31 for ordering information

Recipe

You too can know 0% for sure, without a doubt, that you can10 go to Heaven. You need to know the following: Realize there is none good. Romans 3:10 say written, There is none s, “As it is righteous, no, not on e.” See yourself as a sinn er. Romans 3:23 says, “Fo sinned, and come sho rt of the glory of God.” r all have Recognize where sin came from. Romans 5:1 “Wherefore, as by on e man sin entered into 2 says, the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.” Notice God’s price on sin. Romans 6:23 says, of sin is death; but the “For the wages gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Realize that Christ die d for you. Romans 5:8 commendeth his lov says, “But God e toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Take God at His Word. Romans 10:13 says, “Fo shall call upon the na r whosoever me of the Lord shall be saved.” Claim God’s promise for your salvation. Ro mans 10:9-11 says, “That if thou shalt co nfess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the he art man believeth unto righteousness; an d with the mouth co nfession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whoso ever believeth on him shall not be asham ed.”

w pray. Confess that you are a sinner. Ask God to save you and receiv e Christ as your perso nal Saviour.

From the Kitchen of…

Surprise Pie Contributed by Michelle Englebert

1 1/3 1 1 1¼

package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened cup sugar teaspoon lemon juice container (8 ounces) whipped topping cup of any one of the following: chocolate chips, sprinkles, rainbow chips, M&Ms

Pie filling, optional May 2012

Mix cream cheese, sugar, and lemon juice with mixer until blended. Gently stir in whipped topping. Fold in choice of candies or leave plain. Spoon into a graham cracker crust. Refrigerate 3 hours or overnight. Garnish the top with sprinkles. Instead of using the chocolate chips, etc., you can garnish with any pie filling.

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Coming

Next Month

Love Envies Not (Part 2)

by Cindy Schaap

Celebrate Yourself

by Patty Albert

Obedience Starts on the Changing Table

by Dawn Moncado

Invisible Miracles

by Jessica Martin

No Need of Spoil

by Julie Fink

by Molly Audiss

A Gift Worth Giving Please Don’t Make Fun of Me

by Laurie Worland

Old Mrs. Albertson

by April Cuozzo

Well-Doing Without Weariness

by Billie Sloan

Cleaning Is Not for Wimps!

by Sue Prough

Got a Grudge?

by Lisa Bates

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