SLTapr21pgs_cs.qxp_SLTtemplate 3/25/21 2:42 PM Page 34
On Guns & More
As I watch this new generation try to rewrite history, one thing I’m sure of...it will be misspelled and have no punctuation. l Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does. l I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He is from India and is very concerned about my car warranty. l We all know that mirrors don’t lie, but I’m grateful that they don’t laugh! l Everything will kill you, so choose something fun. l
If gun control laws actually worked, Chicago would be Mayberry, USA. l Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo. If gun owners were the problem, you'd know it. l When JFK was killed, nobody blamed the rifle. l The NRA murders nobody and receives no funds from the government. Planned Parenthood kills 350,000 babies every year and receives hundreds of million in tax dollars. l Most people probably have no problem with vigorous background checks when it comes to firearms. While we're at it, let's do the same when it comes to immigration, voter identification and candidates running for office. l Making good people helpless won’t make bad people harmless. l It’s estimated that 11 teens die each day because of texting while driving. Maybe it's time to raise the age of smart phone ownership to 21. l
Rooney Ruminations
The following was written and presented by the late Andy Rooney, a popular CBS News personality who had the gift of saying so much with so few words. I've learned.... —That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. —That when you're in love, it shows. —That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. l One minute you’re young and fun; and the next you’re turning down —That having a child fall asleep in my arms is one of the most peaceful the car stereo to see better. feelings in the world. l If you think you are old, you will be old. If you think you are young, —That being kind is more important than being right. you will be delusional! —That you should never say no to a gift from a child. l There’s nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your bal—That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to ance in the shower and think: “They are going to find me help him or her in any other way. naked.” —That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, l I’m not that much more overweight today than I was everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. 20 years ago. Now I’m just easier to see. —That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and l I’m not in jail, not in a hospital, not in a doctor’s a heart to understand. office and not in a grave, so I’m having a very good day. —That simple walks with my father around the block on l I always thought that growing old would take much summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an longer. adult. l The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has —That money doesn't buy class. absolutely no trade-in value. —That it's those small daily happenings that make life so l Don’t worry about avoiding temptation as you spectacular. mature, for it will avoid you. —That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants l The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll to be appreciated and loved. remember it.” —That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. l Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my phone while —That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that I’m holding it. person continue to hurt you. l I still have a land line, or as I like to call it, a “cell phone finder.” —That love, not time, heals all wounds. l Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. —That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself l Here’s a shout-out to everyone who can still remember their childhood with people smarter than I. phone number but can’t remember the password they created yesterday. —That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile. l Masks are apparently the new bra. They’re uncomfortable, you wear —That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. them in public, and when you don’t wear one everyone notices. —That life is tough, but I'm tougher. l Life is like a roll of toilet paper—the shorter it gets the faster it goes. —That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. l Some days I think half my mind has —That when you harbor bitterness, happiwandered off and the other half has gone ness will dock elsewhere. looking for it. —That one should keep his words both soft l I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting and tender, because tomorrow he may have to This incident supenough food on the one. eat them. posedly actually l A cold seat in a public restroom is —That a smile is an inexpensive way to happened last winter. Some guys, unpleasant, but a warm seat in a public restimprove your looks. apparently well into room is worse. —That when your newly born grandchild the spirit(s), decided l Don’t irritate old people. The older we holds your little finger in his little fist, you're to have a little fun get, the less “life in prison” is a deterrent. hooked for life. during the moose l I really don’t mind getting older, but —That everyone wants to live on top of the hunting season. After tying one guy my body is taking it badly. mountain, but all the happiness and growth to the roof of the truck, the driver and passengers donned moose l Do you ever get up in the morning, occurs while you're climbing it. heads and drove down I-35, causing 16 accidents. Yes, they went to look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be —That the less time I have to work with, jail. The moral: men, especially younger ones, cannot be left alone. accurate.” the more things I get done.
On Aging & Such
‘Moosing’ Around In Minnesota
34
l
APRIL 2021 l Southern Loggin’ Times
CLICK HERE IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY OPTED IN!
