Tasty Ways to Love Your Heart
New Tax Regulations for 2011
The Real Truth About Cholesterol
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Heartland Edition
FREE
February 2010 2011 December
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Technology Makes it Easier Than Ever to Age Gracefully
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hick-lensed glasses with bifocal lines, dentures that look too perfect to be real and, of course, bulky, heavy hearing aids that just can't be overlooked - once, there was no mistaking the signs of age. Many people chose to endure the inconveniences of aging, rather than wear the overly obvious devices that might have eased vision and hearing losses. Technology, however, is making aging less conspicuous. Advances in optometric science and great design have turned glasses into style statements worn by people of all ages. Products like bifocal contact lenses and virtually invisible hearing aids can make some of the natural bodily changes associated with growing older seem less obvious and reduce their impact on a person's quality of life. continued on pg 6
Photos courtesy Shutterstock
The Little Pill That Battles Cancer — and Wins By Nichael Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet Oz, M.D.
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t was the David-versus-Goliath smackdown of 2010: In a pair of headline-grabbing studies, ordinary low-dose aspirin slashed the risk of dying from nine scary cancers by an average of 30 percent. The humble headache tablet took down cancers of the colon, prostate, brain, lungs, pancreas, esophagus and more. Wow. The news made us YOU Docs smile as we swallowed our daily 162 mg of aspirin, washed down with warm water (we'll tell you why in a minute). Should you be doing the same? We're betting plenty of people who ought to be taking aspirin aren't -- and that some people who'd be better off not taking it are, despite the risks.
Risks? Yep. Weighing the ins and outs of aspirin therapy is a lot like trying to solve your first Rubik's cube. It's already proven to reduce risk for heart attacks and strokes, which is why aspirin's recommended for most men over 45 and women over 55. But regular use can trigger major, even fatal, stomach and intestinal bleeding. So deciding about aspirin requires sorting out your personal risks and benefits. Does adding "cancer pro-
tection" tip the balance for you? Here's what you need to know: • Aspirin can prevent cancer. While there have long been indications of this, the sturdy new data analyzed cancer deaths among 25,570 people who'd been in a string of aspirin studies. Over 20 years, aspirin cut the risk of dying from esophageal cancer by 60 percent, colorectal cancer by 40 continued on pg 2
is a VITAL part of our community.
Page 2 The Little Pill That Battles Cancer continued from page 1
percent, lung cancer by 30 percent, and prostate cancer by 10 percent. The studies didn't distinguish between developing cancer and dying from it, but other research shows that regular aspirin use protects against getting breast, colon, esophageal, prostate and ovarian cancer in the first place. • If you develop cancer, aspirin could keep it from killing you. A fistful of studies has found that: Women with breast cancer who regularly take aspirin are 64 percent less likely to die. Among men with prostate cancer, regular aspirin use cuts death risk by 50 percent. And people with non-smallcell lung cancer who take aspirin live longer after surgery. How Does Aspirin Beat Cancer? Basically, it throws the kitchen sink at the disease. First, aspirin blocks COX-2 enzymes, which help many cancers grow (COX-2 levels are high in colon, prostate, breast, pancreas, bladder, uterus and some lung
cancers). Aspirin also shrinks estrogen production, starving breast cancers that feed on this hormone. In lab studies, aspirin flips a biochemical switch that tells cancer cells to die. And it also seems to clean up genetic mutations before they turn cancerous. So is aspirin right for you? The short answer is yes if you're a man over 45 (for heart attack prevention) or a woman over age 55 (for stroke prevention; it may also protect against heart attacks in women over 65). Consider starting aspirin earlier if you're at high risk for heart disease or stroke, or have a family
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February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
history of cancer. We think it's also a great idea if you have diabetes or you're a woman taking hormone therapy. Both raise your risk for heart attacks and strokes; HT can also make you vulnerable to some cancers that aspirin fights. The answer is no if you've already had a scare with gastrointestinal bleeding from taking aspirin, ibuprofen, or any other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory. It's also no if you take steroids or regularly take an NSAID for, say, arthritis. It might be no if you're at super-low risk for a heart attack or stroke.
the tablet faster, which makes it less likely to trigger serious bleeding. (Entericcoated or buffered aspirin may keep your tummy comfy but neither protects against bleeding.) Finally, if you're taking aspirin for colon cancer protection, don't follow an every-other-day aspirin regimen. That's often recommended to reduce heart attack threats while minimizing aspirin's risks, but it's a dud for colon cancer. 3. Start now. Cancer protection doesn't kick in immediately. It takes a while. How long isn't
Gotcha Thinking? Then Take These 3 Steps. 1. Get a second opinion. Talk with your doctor about aspirin. Take the RealAge Test beforehand (www.realage. com) — it weighs your personal health risks and benefits, and will help you discuss it. 2. Take aspirin the right way. We recommend 162 mg daily. That's two low-dose tablets, one in the morning, one at night, or half a regular tablet. The cost? About a penny — talk about bargains! Drink half a glass of warm water beforehand, the rest afterward. Warm water dissolves
clear. Some data say five years, but in two randomized colon cancer studies, aspirin-takers had significantly fewer cancers in 90 days. We don't let a day go by without our aspirin dose. Time to find out if it belongs on your daily list, too.
News & Views is available for FREE at high-traffic locations. News & Views welcomes contributions pertaining to senior lifestyles and concerns in central Illinois. LimeLight Communications, Inc. assumes no responsibility for publication of the contributions or their return. Solicitations for articles shall pertain to topics important to mature readers.
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The YOU Docs, Mehmet Oz and Mike Roizen, are authors of "YOU: On a Diet." Want more? See "The Dr. Oz Show" on TV (check local listings). To submit questions, go to www.RealAge. com. (c) 2011 Michael Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet Oz, M.D.
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New Regulations for Paid Tax Preparers and What It Means for the Taxpayer
One Step Closer to Peace of Mind
By Krista McBeath Krista@McBeathTax.com
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tarting in 2011, The IRS will begin requiring a higher standard for tax preparers who prepare more than 100 returns. Currently, anyone may prepare a feder-
In the mean time, the IRS is bringing immediate help to taxpayers by offering helpful hints for choosing a tax preparer. This is particularly important because taxpayers are legally responsible
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al tax return for anyone else and charge a fee. While many preparers are licensed by their states, or are enrolled agents, many do not have to meet any government or professionally mandated competency requirement before preparing a federal return for a fee. This new regulation will enhance the protection and service for the taxpayer and will be phased in over 2 years. However, steps have been taken to step up the oversight of tax preparers for this filing season. For tax year 2010, all paid prepares who sign federal returns are required to register with the IRS and obtain a preparer tax identification number (PTIN). These preparers will be subject to a limited tax compliance check to ensure that they have filed federal personal, employment and business tax returns and that the tax due on those returns is paid. Competency testing will also be required for all paid preparers with the exception of attorneys, certified public accountants (CPAs) and enrolled agents who are active and in good standing with their respective licensing agencies. Ongoing continuing professional education will also be a requirement. Lastly, the ethics rules found in the Treasury Department Circular 230, which currently only applies to attorneys, CPAs and enrolled agent who practice before the IRS, will extend to all paid preparers. This expansion will allow the IRS to discipline or suspend tax preparers who engage in unethical or disreputable conduct.
for the information that is on their tax returns- even if the return is prepared by someone else. Here are some simple steps the IRS recommends you take to make sure you choose a reputable tax preparer: • Be cautious of tax preparers who claim they can obtain larger refunds than other preparers • Avoid preparers who base their fee on a percentage of the refund • Use a reputable preparer who signs the return and provides a copy to you. Consider whether the individual or firm will be around to answer questions about the return in the future • Check their credentials. Only Attorneys, CPAs and enrolled agents can represent taxpayers before the IRS in all matters. Other preparers may represent you in the event you are audited for a return that they prepared. • Reputable preparers will ask questions and request documentation to determine whether expenses, deductions and other items qualify. By doing this, a preparer is trying to help you avoid penalties interest or additional taxes that could result from an IRS examination. For information regarding tax preparation you may contact our office at 309-808-2224. Krista McBeath, Investment Advisor Representative, McBeath Tax and Financial Services , LLC Source: www. IRS.gov
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Tips For Retiring
In An Uncertain Economy W
ith the dust finally settling around the nation's economic crisis, baby boomers are taking stock to see if their retirement plans need revising. " There are many ways to adjust to today's economic uncertainty: from working longer to changing investment strategies or living situations. The shocking news for many is that some of their safety nets may no longer be viable. Declining real estate values mean many can't turn to homes for money. Tumult in financial markets resulted in declines in 401K plans. And some experts say Social Security may not be there when needed most by the baby boom generation. For the second consecutive year, Social Security benefits didn't rise, something which hasn't happened in over 75 years. What's worse is, beginning in 2016, payroll tax revenue will be insufficient to pay full Social Security benefits, accord-
ing to Allen W. Smith, a retired economics professor and author of the new book, "The Looting of Social Security."
"A pledge in the 1980s to only spend Social Security funds on benefits was broken by every presidential administration since. Money earmarked for seniors was diverted into the government's general fund and used for whatever politicians chose to spend it on," says Smith, whose high school textbook on economics was used by 600 schools nationwide. "Approximately $2.6 trillion of Social Security revenue that was supposed to be saved and invested for paying benefits to baby boomers, was instead spent for other things and replaced with non-marketable government IOUs," he stresses. According to Smith, these IOUs represent only a claim against future government revenue. They have no monetary value, until and unless the government raises the money through future tax increases or borrowing to repay the missing money. Against this backdrop, many are altering retirement plans: • Keep Working: Some seniors are now planning to stay on the job longer. Many who are physically able to work longer are postponing retirement until the future becomes clearer, because they know that once they retire, they may be unable to re-enter the workforce given today's high unemployment.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011 • New Priorities: Many are shifting investment plans to ensure the money they need within five years of retirement is safe in low-risk investments, like fixed-income funds. This can help them endure short-term market drops while the money they need later grows in more aggressive investments. • Belt Tightening: Many who are approaching retirement age are cutting back on spending and putting more into savings, in case their Social Security benefits get cut. Practicing austerity, and wisely investing the money that is saved, is one of the most viable options for seniors. With Social Security benefits accounting for nearly 40 percent of average income for retirees over 65, Smith is advising seniors to exercise caution in their financial decisions. Purchases that can be delayed probably should be delayed, and for those still in good health, working a little longer than planned could make a big difference in quality of life when they do retire. For more on the Social Security crisis, read "The Looting of Social Security." by Allen W. Smith, Ph.D.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
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Hail the Mighty Plant:
Plants Naturally Purify Homes and Offices
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here should be a "take a plant to work" day. And while you're at it, you should keep one on your desk. Or, better yet, have two or more in your office and for every room in your home for cleaner, fresher air. Most people spend 90 percent of their lives inside, where the indoor air they breathe contains at least 10 times more pollutants than the outdoors, according to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Instead of wearing a mask to work or around your home, there's a natural solution: indoor houseplants. Plants filter the very air you breathe round the clock from common pollutants and continuously release oxygen and moisture in homes and offices. "Plants act as the 'lungs of the earth' by giving off oxygen and taking in carbon dioxide," says former NASA research scientist Dr. B.C. Wolverton, author of "How to Grow Fresh Air" and coauthor with Kozaburo Takenaka of "Plants, Why You Can't Live Without Them." After decades of research, Wolverton asserts that beside aesthetics, research reveals that the mere presence of plants has been proven to "lessen environmental pollution, increase labor productivity and reduce the cost of health care."
nia, formaldehyde and benzene found in many homes and offices. And certain indoor houseplants 'clean' the air every 24 hours. How? They absorb toxins into the leaves and root zone where they're turned into nutrients. Some tropical plants actually suppress airborne mold. Researchers at Washington State University studied the impact of indoor houseplants on dust reduction in office spaces. When indoor houseplants were present, dust particulates were reduced by 20 percent compared to rooms without plants.
What's in the air? Modern life depends on technology, but ordinary products like paints, tobacco smoke, printer inks and even carpets hold hidden dangers that plants can help reduce. Today, there are over 80,000 synthetic chemicals that emit off-gases. Formaldehyde is one of the leading chemical compounds found in indoor air emissions and is a component in paper products, paints, upholstery, drapes and pressed wood products, Wolverton notes. A recent study published in the British Medical Association's journal, Thorax, found that "children exposed to higher levels of VOCs were four times more likely to suffer from asthma than children who were not."
Bring a plant to work Put a plant on your desk and feel happier, enjoy better health and be more productive. Wolverton recommends office workers should have at least one plant in their "personal breathing space" where most of the work is done to effectively remove indoor pollutants. Wolverton suggests two areca palms or lady palms should remove sufficient VOCs to significantly improve the indoor air quality in a room. Snake plants, broad sword ferns and rubber plants are among the top 10 air purifiers recommended by experts. They're easy to grow, are natural humidifiers and remove airborne chemicals. Other green heroes are chrysanthemums, Gerbera daisies and spider plants.
Plant magic Plants improve air quality through their natural "filtering" ability. Wolverton found that indoor houseplants absorb up to 87 percent of VOCs like ammo-
Working day and night Some of the hardest working plants are the peace lilies, ferns, palms and spider plants. Mike Rimland of Costa Farms, the largest indoor houseplant producer in North America, recommends epiphytic bromeliads and orchids, particularly in your bedroom. These natural botanical air purifiers make perfect bedroom buddies to refresh and beautify your room for a truly healthy, restful night's sleep. Rimland's favorites are anthuriums. "They come in an array of colors, with stunning blooms that last up to 13 weeks, are easy to grow, freshen the air and add exotic beauty to your bedroom," he says.
Location, location, location "Which plant you choose, and where you place your plants is important to reap optimum benefits," says Rimland.
Photos courtesy ARA
Consider the light, humidity, and temperature of your indoor spaces to determine the best choices for your home. Put a Majesty Palm in your living room, fern in the family room and peace lilies in the kitchen. Add golden pothos or heart leaf philodendron for beauty and maximum air cleansing benefits. In your fast-paced life, plantfilled rooms help keep you in touch with nature and as
Wolverton asserts, "Just the ability to view living plants enhances our psychological and physiological well-being." He recommends that for homes and offices, you should "place as many plants as space and lighting will allow." To learn more about the fascinating world of indoor houseplants, visit www.O2foryou.org.
Page 6 Technology Makes it Easier continued from page 1
"Your eye doctor may start talking about bifocals when you enter your 40s, and by the time you are in your 50s, you may notice a difference in your hearing," says Dr. Barry Freeman from hearing aid maker Starkey Laboratories, Inc. "Many people may put off doing something about hearing loss or vision loss because they don't like the thought of wearing a visible hearing or thick glasses, and being thought of as 'old' when they still feel young in other ways." If you've begun to experience age-related vision or hearing loss, don't wait to see your doctor, Freeman advises. "You have plenty of options for doing something about hearing loss and vision changes - options that can help relieve the problems these changes cause, without making you feel old in the process." Modern hearing aids Hearing loss affects more than 31 million Americans, according to the Better Hearing Institute. People age 55 to 64 make up the largest group with hearing loss. In fact, 15 percent of people ages 45 to 64 have some level of hearing loss. If you're old enough to need help with hearing, but still young enough - or young enough at heart - to dislike the idea of a traditional hearing aid, there is good news. For people with mild to moderate hearing loss, modern hearing aids not only reduce background noise, cut static, make it easier to hear on the phone and can be controlled remotely, some are virtually invisible as
well. Because invisible hearing aids are inserted deep into the ear, near the eardrum, they require less power and amplification. And the snug fit makes them more comfortable to wear. Starkey's new invisible-inthe-canal hearing aid, OtoLens,
is invisible when worn because it sits within the second bend of the ear canal. Unlike other "invisible" in-canal hearing aids, this one can be removed by the wearer every day; other brands require a visit to an audiologist to insert and remove the aid, or even to change its batteries. Daily removal can promote better ear health. Digital signal pro-
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
cessing ensures clear sound in nearly every situation. Log on to www.starkey.com to learn more. Better bifocals Ben Franklin invented bifocals in the late 1760s, to help relieve the need to carry two pairs of glasses - one for close
lens powers can be invisible. Another type of lens actually allows the wearer to turn off the reading magnification. And bifocals can now be fitted into virtually any designer frame — bulky frames are no longer needed to hold thick lenses. Finally, if you've always
reading, the other for seeing distances. Bifocals have come a long way since then. While many of us may remember seeing the tell-tale line between the distances and reading portions of the lenses in our grandparents' glasses, modern bifocal glasses can look the same as single-vision lenses. The line of division between
worn contact lenses, there's no need anymore to add reading glasses to your vision care equipment. Now you can wear contact lenses that also provide a bifocal effect. Thanks to modern technology like invisible-in-the-canal hearing aid and better bifocals, it's possible to age more gracefully than ever.
Travis Richardson, DO
Jason Seibly, DO
Ann Stroink, MD
John Atwater, MD
Brian Sipe, DO
815-844-4062
309-662-7500
309-662-7500
309-663-6461
815-844-4062
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
Page 7
Peace Meal Senior Nutrition Program February, 2011 February 1 Chicken and Noodles Copper Carrots Rosy Applesauce Pineapple Tidbits Wheat Bread February 2 BBQ Riblet Baked Beans Cole Slaw Fruit Crisp Bun February 3 Pork Loin Mashed Potatoes w/gravy Green Bean Casserole Cherry Salad Whole Wheat Bread February 4 Cheese Meatloaf Scalloped Potatoes Brussels Sprouts Peaches Wheat Bread February 7 Spaghetti w/Meat Sauce Bean Medley Lettuce Salad Mandarin Oranges and Pineapple Wheat Bread February 8 Tangy Vegetable Pork Chopette w/Brown Rice Peas Warm Cinnamon Apples Pudding Wheat Bread February 9 Vegetarian Lasagna Winter Blend Vegetables Gelatin w/Fruit Fresh Fruit Roll
February 10 Oven Fried Chicken Mashed Potatoes w/ gravy Creamed Corn Spicy Fruited Carrot Cake Whole Wheat Bread
February 18 Turkey Tetrazzini Lima Beans Layered Lettuce Salad Warm Cinnamon Apples Wheat Bread
February 11 Hamburger or Brat Kidney Bean Salad Orange Juice Mixed Fruit Salad w/Raisins Bun
February 21 CLOSED FOR PRESIDENT’S DAY
February 14 Beef Chili Cheese Pimento Salad Chunky Applesauce Fruit Cocktail Wheat Bread Crackers February 15 Golden Chicken Pattie Seasoned Potato Wedges Marinated Vegetable Slaw Banana Bun February 16 Salisbury Beef Pattie Mashed Potatoes Beets and Pineapple Warm Fruit Compote With Granola Whole Wheat Bread February 17 Glazed Ham Loaf Sweet Potatoes Mexi Corn Fruit Juice Lemon Layered Dessert
February 22 Beef Sloppy Joe Tri-Taters Cold Bean Salad Fresh Fruit Bun February 23 Roast Beef w/ Gravy Mashed Potatoes Lyonnais Carrots and Lentils Impossible French Apple Pie Whole Wheat Bread February 24 Baked Chicken Breast Filet Hot German Potato Salad Spinach Peaches Oatmeal Cookie Wheat Bread February 25 Salmon Loaf Creamed Peas and Potatoes Perfection Salad Cinnamon Pears Roll February 28 Ham and Beans Pickled Beets Apricots Cornbread
Central Kitchen Meals served on Monday and Tuesday contain 100 mg. Cholesterol or less.
Skim milk and desserts with no sugar added are available upon request. Ask the Site Supervisor for information. Sometimes we need to substitute on our menus. We still guarantee a nutritious meal. The Peace Meal Senior Nutrition Program suggests a donation of $3.00 for each congregate and home delivered meal. No older person shall be denied a meal because of their failure to contribute all or part of the cost of the meal. We accept the Illinois Link Card.
We specialize in treating patients with chronic problems such as: • Back pain • Headaches • Arthritis • Acid reflux • Fibromyalgia • Chronic fatigue • Hormone imbalances • High blood pressure • Diabetes (Type II) • Weight management …and more. We perform specific labs and exams in order to find the cause of the patient’s symptons and offer individualized chiropractic, diet, exercise, enzyme, and whole food supplement recommendations to treat the underlying cause.
In other words, we treat the patient, not the patient’s symptoms. Call (309) 661-8325 to schedule a free consultation.
409 S. Prospect Rd., Suite D Bloomington, IL 61704 www.smarthealthcenter.net
Melanie Walker, CRS, GRI mobile: 309-261-4073 melaniewalker@cbhoa.com
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Financial Record Information By Karen Hanson,
CFP® VP & Senior Wealth Advisor Busey Wealth Management
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our financial future can only be in focus if you have developed a financial plan. The “nuts & bolts” of your financial plan will depend on your accurate records providing the details of your life. That’s why your records should be as individual as you are. This list will help you gather your “nuts & bolts” to build a foundation for budgeting, investing, planning for college, looking toward retirement or estate planning. Your records should include:
knows the exact location of your records file. Along with your records you should provide information about insurance policies, bank accounts, deeds, investments and other valuables to insure that all of your assets can be found when the need arises. Recheck to be certain all the following information is in one convenient place:
• Sources of income and assets (pension funds, interest income, etc) • Social Security and Medicare information. Insurance information (life, health and prop•Full, legal name erty with policy numbers). •Social Security number • B ank accounts (even credit •Legal residence union). •Date and place of birth • Names and address of spouse • Location of safe deposit boxes and children (location of death • Copy of most recent income tax return. certificates if deceased)
Selling your home in 2011? Tips to Add Value During Winter Months
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ajor home renovations can be overwhelming, but there are a few fundamental repairs that can update your home's appearance and increase its value. If you're planning to sell your home in
filtration systems, garbage disposals and high-tech faucets is another great way to increase the room's appeal. Delta Faucet's Touch2O Technology will impress homebuyers and add a sense of luxury to the
2011, take advantage of the colder winter months to prepare your home for a spring sale by focusing on a few key projects:
room. The technology enables users to turn the faucet on and off with just a touch anywhere on the spout or handle, and is available on a variety of models.
Make a first impression. The entryway is the first up-close encounter a potential homebuyer will have with your home. Manicure your front yard and update or even replace your front door to complement your home's exterior. Select a rich, dark stained wood or bold white door to draw attention to the main entry and add personality to your home. If your door is already in great shape, consider a simple replacement of weak or older-looking hardware that will impress buyers at first sight.
•Location of will or trust • Location of birth certificate and marriage, divorce & citizenship certificates • List of employers and dates of employment • E ducation and military records • Religious affiliation (name of church or synagogue) • M emberships in organizations and awards received • Names and addresses of relatives, close friends, doctors, lawyers or financial advisers • Requests, preferences, or prearrangements for burial
• List of liabilities (to whom and when is it due). • Mortgages and debt (including how and when payments are paid). Credit card and charge account names and numbers. • Property tax records. • L ocation of personal items (jewelry & family treasures) Having all this information organized will help you meet the challenges of your later years and assist you with intelligent decisions today.
For more information contact Keep these records in one Karen Hanson at 309-663-1059 or secure place, and make sure e-mail atkarenhanson@busey.com that a family member or friend Content provided by Forefield Inc.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
Get cookin' in the kitchen. Experts agree that a kitchen can significantly impact a home's perceived value. An outdated kitchen can be a deal breaker for many homebuyers. Naturally, then, it's the place you might spend the most amount of time updating. To increase the appeal of your kitchen, consider investing in updated, matching appliances that match the style of your kitchen. Some manufacturers even offer replacement panels to update the exteriors of older appliances. Next, if you can't afford to add new cabinetry, change out the hardware so the knobs, drawer pulls and handles match your decor and add a modern flair. Adding technology-driven fixtures, including built-in water
Update and upgrade light fixtures. Lighting is key. It can drastically change the look and feel of a room, and lighting fixtures are affordable and relatively simple to install on your own. Shop discount stores and home improvement depots to find a statement piece to add spice to your living room. A beautiful ceiling fan with lighting can serve double-duty to update your family room. Remember, well-lit and bright rooms appear larger and more open. Step on it. Flooring is one of the first things that potential homebuyers notice. Make sure you dust, vacuum and clean so that you show off the flooring to its best advantage. If you have carpet, consider replacing it with wood floors or wood alternatives. If you already have hardwood floors, polish and protect your flooring so that it gleams when potential buyers step into the home. Whether you're trying to sell your home this winter or simply want to update its look, you don't have to wait until the spring thaws. When the cold weather drives you inside, take advantage of the time to make attractive upgrades that can increase the appeal and value to your home.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
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alentine's Day naturally brings thoughts of hearts, flowers, sweetness and love. But did you know that it also falls during American Heart Month? A perfect time to start taking care of your heart and the hearts of the ones you love. You might think that a heart-healthy diet is boring or flavorless. Actually, eating for your heart can add a lot of flavor, and some of it may come from surprising sources - such as watermelon. Eating watermelon can help maintain cardiovascular health. That's because the amino acid called citrulline in watermelon increases free arginine which helps maintain blood flow, the arteries, and overall cardiovascular function. To get more scrumptious recipes like these, and to learn more about the heart benefits of watermelon, visit www.watermelon.org.
Watermelon S'mores
Grilled Scallops and Watermelon Mini Kebabs Serves 12 as an appetizer.
12 sea scallops 4 cups boiling vegetable or chicken broth 24 1 x 1-inch watermelon cubes 1/4 cup soy sauce 1 tablespoon sesame oil 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1 tablespoon fresh minced ginger
Watermelon Oat Crumble
Watermelon Oat Crumble Serves 6 to 8
2 cups rolled or quick cook oats 1/2 cup light brown sugar 1/8 cup honey 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1 cup chopped pecans 6 cups watermelon balls Toss the oats, sugar, honey, cinnamon and pecans until mixed well. Spread into an even layer on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. Bake in pre-heated 300∞F oven until golden brown. Turn off oven leaving the tray in for an additional 10 to 15 minutes. Remove and cool. Break into crumbles. Arrange the watermelon balls in 6 to 8 small bowls or wide stemmed glasses and top with the oat crumble.
Watermelon S'mores Serves 4
1 cup graham cracker crumbs 1/2 cup melted dark chocolate chips 4 2 x 4 x 1-inch-thick rectangles of seedless watermelon 1 cup mini marshmallows Sprinkle the graham cracker crumbs over the center of 4 plates. Drizzle 1/3 of the dark chocolate over the crumbs. Place a watermelon rectangle over the crumbs and chocolate on each plate. Drizzle 1/3 of the dark chocolate over the watermelon. Sprinkle the marshmallows over the watermelon and drizzle the remaining chocolate over the marshmallows.
Cut the scallops into halves across the diameter to create halfmoon shapes. Place them in a heatproof casserole dish in a single layer. Pour the boiling clear broth over the scallops and let them poach for 5 minutes. Drain and cool the scallops. On each skewer alternate 1 half-moon scallop, then 2 watermelon cubes, then another half-moon scallop. Mix together the soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic and ginger and brush the kebabs as they are grilled over a medium hot grill for about 90 seconds per side turning once. Serve warm.
Heart-Healthy Eating Plan
The DASH eating plan (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension) is a highly recommended diet that has been proven to lower blood pressure. It's been endorsed by: • The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (one of the National Institutes of Health, of the US Department of Health and Human Services) • The American Heart Association • The Dietary Guidelines for Americans • US guidelines for treatment of high blood pressure And new research has shown that following the DASH diet over time will reduce the risk of stroke and heart disease, as well as kidney stones. The benefits of the DASH diet have also been seen in teens with hypertension. Learn more at www.dashdiet.org.
Watermelon season is roughly May through October. But you can enjoy delicious imported watermelon all year round.
Page 10
Back Pain and Weight Loss:
The connection that could hurt - or help - your efforts.
W
hich came first, the back pain or the extra pounds? The question may be academic for millions of obese Americans whose chronic spine and joint pain keeps them from getting the exercise that would help them lose weight. Relieving that pain could be instrumental in getting them to exercise more. Excessive weight is not only associated with an increased risk of diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, sleep apnea and some forms of cancer, it also can have damaging effects on the nerves, bones, joints and muscles of the body, exacerbating conditions such as osteoarthritis, back pain, neck pain and joint pain, according to the American Chiropractic Association (ACA). The association is making healthy weight management the focus of its annual observance, National Chiropractic Health Month. "If you're carrying more weight than the load-bearing structures of your body -- the spine, legs, etc. -- can handle, there's going to be pain, loss of movement and degeneration in the joints," explains Dr. James Powell, a doctor of chiropractic (DC) in Canton, Ohio, who serves on ACA's Wellness Committee. "Particularly if you're carrying most of your weight in your abdomen, the lower back and the spine will need to work harder to hold you upright. This adds extra stress and tension to your muscles, which in turn creates stiffness and pain." Muscle tension and stiffness often leads to pain in the back, neck, hips, knees and legs, which causes many people with weight problems to avoid exercising and to look for easy fixes such as diet pills and extreme diets. "These quick fixes do not offer healthy, long-term solutions," says Dr. Rick McMichael, ACA president. "Doctors of chiropractic, on the other hand, offer natural approaches such as specific exercise recommendations, dietary advice and hands-on care to help keep people active and able to achieve their weight-loss goals." Talking to a doctor of chiropractic about weight management might be news to some, but it's precisely what happens every day in many chiropractic offices. "DCs are experts at helping patients reduce or eliminate pain naturally -- helping them become more active and functional," Dr. McMichael says.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
The Real Truth About Cholesterol By Gregory Smart, DC, IHS
"In addition to their expert structural care, doctors of chiropractic often counsel their patients on enhancing wellness through nutrition, ergonomic and lifestyle recommendations - this has been a part of chiropractic training and education from the start." A sensible approach to weight loss Without exercise, the chances of successfully managing weight problems are greatly diminished. Removing painful back, neck and joint pain - obstacles to exercise - through chiropractic care can be the first step toward winning the battle against overweight and obesity. From there, ACA recommends considering some small but significant ways to become healthier: • Start small. If all you can manage is a five-minute walk, do it. Eventually, you'll be able to work your way up to 30 minutes or more, and you'll be taking a big step toward maintaining the flexibility and mobility of your joints and burning calories at the same time. • For those on a time crunch, take small breaks from work. Simply getting up from your desk and walking around the office or the parking lot, or going up and down the stairs a few times, is enough to get your blood flowing and to trigger feel-good endorphins to get you through the rest of your day. • As for your diet, choose foods high in fiber - fruits and vegetables, whole grains and legumes — as fiber curbs hunger. Also reduce your simple carbohydrates that are not made from whole grains. In some people, simple carbohydrates can trigger overeating, as well as blood-glucose slumps, which can lead to fatigue, headaches, craving sweets, depression, irritability and a host of other symptoms. • Eating well does not have to cost a lot of money. To lower your food expenses, consider buying meats in bulk, buying fruits and vegetables in season and sticking to smaller serving sizes Look for more weight-loss and nutrition tips on the National Chiropractic Health Month Website at www.acatoday.org/ NCHM. To find a doctor of chiropractic near you, visit www.acatoday.org/findadoc.
O
ver the last 30 years or so, cholesterol has been cast in a very negative light. We hear how high cholesterol greatly increases the risk of cardiovascular disease and cardiovascular deaths. Cholesterol medications (statin drugs) have become one of the highest selling drugs in the U.S., with $17 billion in sales annually. Is all the hype surrounding cholesterol really true, though? The facts will probably surprise you. Believe it or not, cholesterol is essential to sustain life. Among its functions are: 1) it is a component of the cell membrane of every cell in our body; 2) the body makes vitamin D from cholesterol; 3) it is converted into bile, which is needed to break down and digest fats; 4) it often elevates to support the immune system in response to chronic infections; 5) stress handling and reproductive hormones are made from cholesterol; 6) it is part of the covering around nerve fibers, making it vital for proper nerve function; 7) it is needed for proper brain function, with synapses (connections between nerve cells) being made almost entirely of cholesterol; 8) it is needed for proper brain development in infants and is typically found in large amounts in breast milk; 9) it is used by the body as part of the healing process. How could something so vital to life cause heart attacks? The truth is, it doesn’t. Yes, the plaque found in coronary arteries contains some cholesterol, but cholesterol is not the cause of the problem. Chronic inflammation and arterial wall damage are the real culprits. When the arteries are damaged, the body tries to heal it. Cholesterol is put there intentionally by the body as part of the process of healing the damaged area. Also, many research studies have failed to support the high cholesterol/heart disease hypothesis. The Framingham Study found that for every 1 mg/dl per year drop in cholesterol levels, there was an 11% increase in the overall death rate and a 14% increase in the cardiovascular death rate! Another
small study done in France on women living in nursing homes found that the lowest death rate (mortality) occurred in women with average total cholesterol of 273 mg/dl. The highest mortality (5.2 times higher than the lowest) occurred in women with average total cholesterol of 156 mg/dl. After the age of 50, low cholesterol is associated with a significantly greater overall mortality. What about the statin drugs used to lower cholesterol? It turns out they probably do a lot more harm than good. Statins have not been found to reduce overall mortality in women, nor have they been found to reduce overall mortality in men without previous heart disease. The only benefit was found in men with a prior history of heart disease. In this population overall mortality was found to decrease by less than one percent. In addition to the limited benefit of statin drugs, reported side-effects include liver and kidney damage, muscle damage, cataracts, chronic aches and pains, ‘brain fog’, memory loss, confusion, depression, dementia, slow wound healing, impaired immune function, numbness, tingling, swelling, weakness, fatigue, impotence, decreased stress-handling ability, nerve disorders, and increased incidence of heart failure. So, what should you do if your doctor tells you you have high cholesterol? First of all, don’t panic. It doesn’t mean you’re going to have a heart attack. According to Dr. Janet Lang, of Lang Restorative Health Services, high cholesterol can be a symptom of another problem, the most common being chronic stress, as your body tries to force production of more stress hormones. Identifying and treating the underlying cause would allow cholesterol levels to normalize naturally in these cases. For more information, Dr. Smart can be contacted at the Smart Health & Wellness Center at (309) 661-8325. Research data quoted are from “The Great Cholesterol Con” by Malcolm Kendrick, M.D.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
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The Best Safe Money Product Ever Created! By Dennis Kagel, CHFC
I
have often asked my clients (and prospective clients) what features and benefits they would like most to see in the ultimate safe money plan the following is the list that I always am likely to hear. Above average returns (Better than the other safe money vehicles such as Bank CD’s, money markets, bonds, bond funds, etc.) Protection of principal (Safe money means virtually NO chance for losses) Liquidity (Access to my money when I need it) Flexibility (If the financial markets change I would like other interest crediting options such as bonds or CD type rates) Tax Advantages (If I’m not going to use the money I don’t want to pay taxes) Strong Financial Institution (My money is only as safe as who holds it!)
You might be thinking what plan or product could possibly do all this. Well, I’m happy to tell you that there is a plan available today that does all this. In my opinion, it is simply the best safe product on the planet. Never before has a client or prospect had the ability to invest in a plan that allows their interest to be calculated using the performance of the stock market without having to worry about stock market losses. We all know that historically long term the “market” outperforms other investments. The problem with the market itself, for most investors, is two-fold.
First of all patience. Many investors buy at the wrong time and sell at the wrong time. This plan takes care of that for you. You are in the market every year, but you don’t have to worry about timing. This plan completely avoids negative years and you get to keep all prior year’s earnings. We have been using thi plan for nine years and it’s still hard to believe that statement; with this plan you not only have no negative years, but you also get to keep all prior earnings regardless of what happens in the future. The second problem with the market is not knowing what to buy. Most of us hear about a particular sector that has been hot, and like lemmings we all run to the hot sector (remember Tech stocks?). Unfortunately the increase has probably already happened and we miss it. Once again this plan takes care of this for you; your investment is tied to major market indexes such as the S & P 500 Index and the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Today’s version of this plan even allow you to participate in Asian
and European indexes like the Hang Seng Index, the Nikeii 225 Index, and the Euro 50 Index. What is this great plan/product called? What difference is it what we call it? The features and benefits of any plan are far more important than a name tag that someone puts on it. Someone once said that “Bragging ain’t bragging if it’s true,” and it’s hard to turn away from a good story. Please call my office today at (309)454-9171 and we’ll be happy to explain all the details and just how this great plan can benefit you and your money.
Photo courtesy of Getty Images
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February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
New Ways To Stay Close How To Maximize To Family And Friends Your Social Security Benefits
W
ith today's busy schedules, it's hard enough to stay connected with your family and closest friends, never mind those pals of whom you think fondly but rarely pick up the phone to call. For most of us, long lost friends stay lost and sometimes even family members aren't far behind! Thankfully, some new advances in technology are making it easier to stay close to those who matter most. Here are some new ways to help you keep in touch: • Look first. Many photo sharing Web sites, like Flickr and Picasso, make it easy for family and friends to share images. You can create virtual photo albums of the kids for grandparents or share candid snaps with your college buddies. Some cameras feature Wi-Fi to instantly send images directly to photo sharing and social networking sites without a computer. • Go retro. The family newsletter is an age-old tradition, but new technology is giving it a facelift. Web services like Mail Chimp or CheetahMail make it easy for individuals to create e-mail newsletters and instantly send them to family and friends across the globe. While these sites have been embraced by businesses, many families are using them, too. • Phone a friend. Staying in touch is easy. Always running through the house look-
ing for that ringing cell phone and find it just when voicemail picks up? New phone technologies can change this. Check out Panasonic's new Link-toCell system which lets you sync your cell phone and home phone, so both ring when a call comes in. It also allows you to copy your cell's phonebook to the system for easy access to your favorite numbers directly from your home phone. And we're all used to coming home to many messages from telemarketers or that school call tree, causing you to miss ones from those who matter most. To help, Panasonic has launched a new technology called Choice Mail that lets you quickly view and play messages in any order, so you can first play those from Mom or your best friend. This feature is available on many of the company's new cordless home phones. • Take five. Impromptu chats through e-mail or social networking sites are often the best ways to keep in touch with family and friends, so long as they don't keep you from being productive at work. Welcome chats by keeping e-mail or your favorite social networking platform open at specific times, but alter your status to "busy" when you really have to get work done. With technology, loved ones really are just a phone call, text, or instant message away, so reach out and connect.
T
hinking of retiring? After a lifetime of hard work and income tax, you probably want to get the most out of your social security dollars. Fortunately, social security is flexible enough to accommodate different circumstances. And knowing your different options is the first step to finding what plan will work best for you and your family.
be reduced by up to 30 percent. Some of your benefits can be withheld if you have extra earnings, but after you reach the full retirement age, the SSA will recalculate your benefit amount to give you credit for any months for which you did not receive benefits. In this tough economy, collecting early may be a desirable option for seniors unable to find work but still able and willing to work in the future.
What To Consider The first step you'll need to take in order to make an informed decision is to find out how much money you'll receive in a couple of different scenarios. Your benefits will vary not only according to your age and salary, but also depending on whether you start collecting early, collect while working, receive spousal payments, or suspend your payments until you're 70. You also want to consider your overall health and other retirement or pension plans you have. To learn about the different options available to you, visit the Social Security Administration (SSA) at www. socialsecurity.gov and use the online calculator.
Double Team Delay If both you and your spouse are at full retirement age, you can choose to collect benefits off your spouse's account (usually around 50 percent of his or her monthly payment) while letting your account accrue additional benefits. Benefits can be accrued until age 70, increasing your eventual payments by 6 to 8 percent a year. Regardless of whether you do decide to delay your benefits or collect, it's important you sign up for Medicare at age 65. Not doing so can cause your Medicare coverage to be delayed or cost more when you do need it. Obviously, there's no one-sizefits-all solution to maximizing your social security benefits, so Collecting Early Tactics consult a financial advisor or While the full retirement age speak to an SSA representafor most Americans is 67, most tive by calling 1-800-772-1213 or are eligible to start collecting visiting www.socialsecurity.gov. early at age 62. And while you can continue working while collecting, your benefits may
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February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
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February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
New FDA-Approved Dosing Option
for Treating Moderate-to-Severe Alzheimer's Disease
A
ccording to the Alzheimer's Association, about 3.6 million Americans age 65 and older have moderate-to-severe Alzheimer's disease (AD), which is a degenerative disease of the brain that gets worse over time. By 2050, this number is expected to nearly triple to 10.4 million.
With the growing aging population, it is important to develop treatments that may help patients and their families living with this devastating condition. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved a new once-daily, higher dose Aricept (R)(donepezil HCl) 23 mg tablet,
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offering a new dosing option for patients with moderate-to-severe AD. In the study of patients with moderate-to-severe AD, cognition was significantly improved in patients taking the Aricept 23 mg tablet versus those taking the Aricept 10 mg tablet, whereas global functioning was not. "Slowing the decline of cognitive symptoms is important at all stages of Alzheimer's disease," said Dr. Martin R. Farlow, lead author of the study publication and professor and vice-chairman of research in Indiana University School of Medicine's Department of Neurology. "Throughout the course of Alzheimer's disease, caregivers are usually the first to notice changes in cognition. When a loved one notices the disease has gotten worse, it is important that they speak with a doctor about these changes and consider other treatments." About Alzheimer's disease Age is the biggest risk factor for AD, as the chances of developing the disease doubles every five years after age 65. AD affects the patient, caregivers and the entire family. In fact, nearly 11 million people in the United States - mostly women - take care of a loved one with AD in addition to their families. Family members can create a support system for their loved ones by engaging with healthcare professionals and AD groups as early as possible. About Aricept (donepezil HCl) Aricept is the first and only prescription medication approved by the FDA for the treatment of all stages of AD - mild, mod-
erate and severe dementia of the Alzheimer's type. It is not a cure for AD, but Aricept may help provide symptomatic benefit for some patients. Aricept may work differently for each person. For those who respond, symptoms may improve, they may stabilize or they may progress more slowly than without Aricept. Aricept is co-promoted in the United States by Eisai Inc. and Pfizer Inc. Aricept is a prescription medicine to treat mild Alzheimer's disease (5 mg or 10 mg) and moderate to severe Alzheimer's disease (10 mg or 23 mg). Before starting on ARICEPT 23 mg/day, patients should be on ARICEPT 10 mg/day for at least three months. The starting dose of ARICEPT is 5 mg/ day and can be increased to 10 mg/day after four to six weeks. Please take ARICEPT as prescribed by the doctor. Important safety information ARICEPT may not be for everyone. People at risk for stomach ulcers or who take certain other medicines should tell their doctors because serious stomach problems, such as bleeding, may get worse. People at risk for certain heart conditions should tell their doctor before starting ARICEPT because they may experience fainting. People with serious lung conditions and difficulty breathing, bladder problems or seizures should tell their doctor before using ARICEPT. ARICEPT 23 mg is associated with weight loss. Check with the doctor if this is a concern. Inform the doctor if the patient needs surgery requiring anesthesia while taking ARICEPT. Some people may have nausea, diarrhea, difficulty sleeping, vomiting or muscle cramps. Incidence of nausea and vomiting were markedly greater in patients taking ARICEPT 23 mg/day versus patients taking ARICEPT 10 mg/day. Some people may feel tired or may have loss of appetite. If they persist, please talk to the doctor. For Full Prescribing and Patient Information, please visit www.aricept.com. Disclosure This article was provided by Eisai Inc. and Pfizer Inc. Dr. Farlow serves as a consultant to Eisai Inc. and Pfizer Inc.
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
Page 15
February American Heart Month www.heart.org AMD/ Low Vision Awareness Month www.preventblindness.org National Wise Health Consumer Month www.healthylife.com
Community Events Make Me a Match
February - Mar. 6, 2011, Thursday, Friday, Saturday evening, Sunday Brunch Conklin's Barn II Dinner Theatre Timberline Road Goodfield, IL 61742 309-965-2545 Stephanie Mills is a rich, demanding corporate executive used to having her way. Unmarried, hearing the tick of the biological clock, she would like to have a husband. Through a friend, and under the urging of her irrepressible mother, she reluctantly hires Robin McFee, a matchmaker who happens to be male, brash and used to having his way! Sex, love and laughter entwine as Robin supplies Stephanie with "suitable prospects" each leading to hilarious if disastrous results. This clever and observant comedy about the perils of modern day matchmaking is guaranteed to leave you laughing! Cost: $32-$36
Naturally 7
an adult are welcome. Please call 309.827.3190 for more information. Cost: $4 per person per night
F1RST FR1DAY Tour de Chocolat
Lincoln's Birthday
Celebration Feb. 12, 2011 David Davis Mansion 1000 E. Monroe Street Bloomington, IL 61701 309.828.1084 The site consists of a 36-room mansion, 1870s ornamental flower garden, and 5 outbuildings, situated on 4.1 acres in a residential area east of downtown Bloomington: a Wood house (1872), Barn/stable (1856), Carriage Barn (1868), Foaling Shed (1872) and Garage (1910). The Davis Mansion is handicapped accessible. Suggested donation: Adults $4, Children $2.
International Fair 2011
They’re more than just an a cappella group, they’re a force! Best known for their collaborations and tours with Michael Bublé, Naturally 7 combine multilayered harmonies, an unbelievable ability to replicate instruments and a stage presence that can be felt in every seat of the house into a concert experience that has electrified audiences worldwide. Combining gospel, soul, R&B, jazz and hip hop into their own style of _Vocal Play, Naturally 7 become an orchestra of instruments without ever picking one up. When you see them, your ears wont believe your eyes & but youll be too happy to care. Cost: $23.40 - $35.00
For the last 41 years, International Fair has celebrated cultures and countries around the world by featuring ethnic food and live entertainment at Illinois State University. I-Fair, as its fans know it, is a two-day annual event where guests can visit dozens of booths that represent countries, regions of the world and community organizations. Students prepare food from their home countries, provide live entertainment and wear beautiful traditional costumes. International Fair is always a tasty treat and beautiful event.
Feb. 3, 2011, 7:00-9:00 PM YWCA 1201 N. Hershey Bloomington, IL 61704 309.827.3190 Weekly square dance lessons on Thursday evenings hosted by Twin City Twirlers. Adults and children age 10 and older with
Blacksmith Demonstration Feb. 19, 2011 0900 - 1200 Sugar Grove Nature Center 4532 N 725 East Rd. McLean, IL 61754 309.874.2174
Blacksmith Demonstration Saturday, February 19, 9:00 a.m. - noon On the third Saturday of every month, the public is invited to observe local members of the Illinois Valley Blacksmiths Association as they work at the Sugar Grove Forge, across the parking lot from the Nature Center. Fee: Free, no registration required. Cost: FREE
Feb. 4, 2011 , 5-8pm Downtown Bloomington 309.829.9599 It's art. It's action. It's entertainment. See and be seen, every F1RST FR1DAY in Downtown Bloomington. Downtown Bloomington offers free evening and weekend parking on streets and in all garages. Cost: FREE
Feb. 3, 2011 7:30 pm Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts 600 N. East Street Bloomington, IL 61701 309.434.2777
Weekly Square Dance Lessons
lovely Victorian traditions. Guests will make a Victorian Valentine to take home. Celebrate this Valentines Day in a very special way. Teatime reservations must be prepaid Please call Nancy at The Tea Ladies ~ 309-827-2200 Cost: $22.00
HERE IS A PLEASANT LITTLE GAME that will give you a message every day. It’s a numerical puzzle designed to spell out your fortune. Count the letters in your first name. If the number of letters is 6 or more, subtract 4. If the number is less than 6, add 3. The result is your key number. Start at the upper left-hand corner and check your key numbers, left to right. Then read the message the letters under the checked figures give you.
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Feb. 12, 2011 - Feb. 13, 2011 Illinois State University Brown Ballroom Normal, IL 309.438.5276
Cherubs And Chocolates, Victorian Valentine Tea Feb. 13, 2011 2:00 pm - 3:30 pm David Davis Mansion 1000 E. Monroe Bloomington, IL 61704 309-827-2200 Enjoy a truly Victorian Valentine's Day with a teatime full of fine confections, red roses, delicate vintage Valentines and
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Page 16 Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A: When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
JUST
Q: If you are an AMERICAN when you go into the bathroom and you are an AMERICAN when you come out of the bathroom....What are you WHILE you are in the bathroom? A: EUROPEAN... of course!' Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
FUN
When did you first notice this problem? What problem?
The Boss' Retirement
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff missed him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, "Without you, the company will never be the same" We will always remember you" etc. Obviously the boss was not satisfied. "I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?" Slowly but firmly, John wrote, "The best news in 20 years." Sam: Would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: No, of course not. Sam: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Turtle Soup
A man sits down at a restaurant and looks at the menu. He tells the waiter "I think I will have the turtle soup." The waiter leaves, but the man changes his mind to pea soup. He yells to the waiter "Hold the turtle, make it pea." What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.
You Might Be An Engineer If...
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure The salespeople at Best Buy can't answer any of your questions
for
February NEWS&VIEWS 2011
You Might Be An Engineer If...
The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head
You are convinced you can build a phazer from your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
Praying for a Bike
A little boy wanted $100 to buy a new bike, and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read: Dear God; Thank you very much for the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington. As usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.
Where is God?
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?" The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"