Big Houses by Anna Ervin For as long as I can remember, I have dreamed of one day having a big family. Those who know me well are probably laughing as they read this (I’ve never been a fan of the idea of having kids), but today we’re not talking about family in the traditional sense of the word. For years, I have had a recurring dream where I find myself in a large house, surrounded by people from both my past and present. Over the years, the souls who have occupied this house with me have changed, over time becoming fuzzy in my memory. However, the dream is always the same. It feels like a vacation at first, and I’m running around excitedly ensuring that everyone has the best time. This is what I do best, the place in which I thrive. I’ve always been an entertainer, constantly seeking the thrill of making people feel warm and fuzzy. In this setting, the faces that appear in my dream feel like family. Sometimes old friends from high school, others, they are new acquaintances from work. Regardless, when they approach me in my dream world I recognize a feeling of deep understanding and love for that person. At first my efforts in pleasing this crowd are rewarded ten-fold, finding smiling faces in every room of the home we share. “This is where I’m meant to be,” I think, as I embark on yet another mission to bring someone in my circle joy and comfort. Eventually, however, things begin to take a nasty turn. It always happens before I can stop it. The fun we’ve had begins to reap consequences, debts start bubbling to the surface for the steep price of each individual moment of joy, and I find myself so exhausted from keeping everyone satisfied that I can’t put nearly the same energy into cleaning up the messes I helped create (though this never stops me from trying).
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