Essays of Africa April 2016

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Inside ESSAYS a woman’s journey

of africa

april 2016

cover stories

12 GUEST BLOG: Meet Nigeria’s Oluwatobi Dorcas Ayeni, the woman behind MissTechy. 30 MAIN FASHION: Smart & sexy season trends made easy. 40 COVER STORY: Introducing Thembisa Mdoda, actress, journalist and woman on the move! 50 MONEY: How friends influence your financial fitness. 54 SEX: Men open up about sex. 60 HEALTH: 4 ways to live your best life. 62 NEWS REPORT: Looking at independence in Africa. 79 MAIN BEAUTY: How to look polished, always.

her issues with the label ´Strong Black Woman’. 13 UNCOVERED: Facing the reality of freedom head on. 86 ENTERTAINMENT INTERVIEW: Prince of choreography, Paul Modjadji, takes over the world.

features

48 SELF-EMPOWERMENT: The key to being free. 52 RELATIONSHIPS: Relationship detox to promote physical and emotional well-being. 57 PARENTING: Raising the bar for behaviour. 72 MAN FEATURE: Why do male friendships have a bad rep?

82 HAIR: Oils to give hair a boost.

people

14 REAL LIFE: Ncumisa Cekiso says why she is blessed to see another day. 68 MY JOURNEY: The world is Thulisile Galelekile’s stage. 66 PROFILE: Nosipho SiwisaDamasane is a logistical leader. 70 WOMEN’S NETWORK: Mentor Motlalepule Mokhine never stops moving. 76 MAN Q&A: Dr James Makamba shares how he made it big as an entrepreneur.

columns

11 READERS’ CORNER: Napogadi Morena shares

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fashion 15 FASHION NEWS 16 SEXY 7: The best fashion products of the month. 17 REAL WOMAN: Lesego Legobane is confidently curvaceous in denim. 22 SHOPPING: Cardigan comfort. 24 SHOPPING: Dress it up! 26 FASHION INTERVIEW: Thuli Mola, founder of Style Alert SA. 28 SHOPPING: Pumped up for autumn. 74 MAN SHOPPING: Want style? No sweat!

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ON LOCATION

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EDITOR’S LETTER

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CONTRIBUTORS’ PAGE

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ONLINE UPDATE

97 DÉCOR NEWS: Crystalise your signature look.

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LETTERS’ PAGE

99 TRAVEL: Community tourism.

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SUBSCRIPTIONS PAGE

102 SOCIAL SCENE: Life begins at 40!

88 FOOD & ENTERTAINING: South Africa is a braai nation. 94 DÉCOR STYLE: Chic city living.

17 beauty

78 BEAUTY NEWS 84 SEXY 7: The best beauty products of the month.

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regulars

104 MOTORING: Fun in the driver’s seat. 106 BOOKS 108 TECH NEWS & APPS

111 HOROSCOPES 112 STOCKISTS PAGE

109 MOVIES & THEATRE 110 MUSIC

COVER & FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS.

lifestyle

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ESSAYS www.essaysofafrica.com

Editor of Essays of Africa

Nawaal Nolwazi Mdluli

Managing Editor Deputy Managing Editor Copy Editor Features Writers

Zama Nkosi-Mabuye Tracy Maher Nadia Goetham Caryn Thandi Petersen, Thina Mthembu, Hlulani Masingi, Ndoni Khanyile Tumi Mdluli Tebatjo Manamela, Mandisa Mani Rhoda Davids

Fashion & Beauty Editor Fashion Assistant DĂŠcor Writer Contributors Sub-Editor Proofreader Online Editor Online Features Writers Senior Designer Designer Junior Designer Digital & Web Specialist New Business Development Team Sales & Production Manager Sales Executive Brand Managers Operations & Finance Manager Admin Assistant Office Drivers Advisory Board

Publisher Physical Address

Postal Address Websites Advertising Editorial Information & Enquiries Subscription Queries Printers Distribution

Kim Garner, Helen Herimbi, Denise Slabbert, Bulelwa Mokori, Melissa Jane Cook, Oluwatobi Dorcas Ayeni, Sameerah Karolia, Stella Nova Tracy Maher Nicky de Bene Hlulani Masingi Thina Mthembu, Tebatjo Manamela Lelethu Tobi Mmabatho Mahange Siphokazi Masele Lekeke Mahlo

Nuraan Motlekar Monice Kruger Wezi Njovu, Kholiwe Nkambule Kelly Moyo Tebatjo Manamela Gabriel Mashishi, Yusuf Msinyi Fazila Bizor, Lindsay Breytenbach, Lindelwa Isabelle, Ndoni Khanyile, Busisiwe Mahlaba, Sen Mdhluli, Moeketsi Mosola, Dr Salifou Siddo, Nthabe Zondo, Sonto Ndlovu Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. Fourways View Office Park, Block C, First Floor, Cnr Sunset Ave and Sunrise Blvd, Fourways Tel: 011 467 5859, Fax: 011 467 2808 Kwenta Media, Essays of Africa: P.O. Box 4437, Dainfern, 2055 www.essaysofsafrica.com / www.kwentamedia.com advertising@essaysofafrica.com / advertising@kwentamedia.com editorial@essaysofafrica.com info@essaysofafrica.com / info@kwentamedia.com subs@essaysofafrica.com CTP Printers Cape Town RNA

Essays Of Africa Magazine, Website and Webzine are 100% owned and published by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. The editor and publisher reserve the right to alter copy and visual material as deemed necessary. Copyright by Kwenta Media (Pty) Ltd. All rights reserved. BBBEE Level 1

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: MANDISA MANI. HAIR AND MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLONGO. DRESSED BY: STUTTAFORDS.

EOA ON LOCATION

ith Lucoh Mhlongo effortlessly styling Thembisa’s hair and make-up for the day, Tumi Mdluli could work on dressing her in the latest trends for every pose. Eagerly assisted by Mandisa Mani, who requested to shadow the fashion editor for the day, Tumi and seasoned photographer, Gareth Jacobs, helped to make the moments in front of the camera fun for Thembisa who worked it like a pro. And just to make sure that everyone was on point, managing editor Zama Nkosi-Mabuye popped in to add her touch and give the thumbs up to the team. With another successful EOA shoot under the belt, it was a pleasure working with the lovely Thembisa Mdoda. E

THE NEW FACE OF OUR PERFECT WEDDING Known to many as the host that keeps them entertained every Sunday at 19h00, Thembisa Mdoda is as bubbly in real life as she is on screen.

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ed’s letter EOA

MONEY LIBERATES “A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own” – Clare Boothe Luce

ur grandmothers understood this so well. They would always have a little money of their own hidden away for crisis management. It’s good to know the value of money and to know what money can do for you. Having financial conversations within the family from an early age is important. Before you accuse me of being money-minded, reality has taught me that you need money to execute your vision and realise your dreams. Women are vulnerable when they do not have that extra money of their own. Our children don’t just survive on love and kisses; they need food, shelter, education, clothing – all of which is paid for by the additional money that we are able to save. While money is an ever-present need, our circumstances and those of the people in our lives change constantly. Today our loved ones are with us, but within the blink of an eye they may accept the call to sing in God’s heavenly choir. Young, old, rich or poor, we all face the same eventual fate. Today you may be the love of his life, his one and only, but tomorrow he may be declaring his love to new women. Suddenly you go from ‘Baby’ to ‘Hey wena, Susan!’ In the same vein, you may be riding a career high as your business flourishes, but the next day could see you insolvent and looking for handouts. Where are you at that moment and where is that little bit of money of your own? Just how financially confident and knowledgeable are you? Be assertive when it comes to conversations about your money. Being financially dependent takes away your power and cripples your ability to question and contribute to your financial future, leaving you ‘dead’ before your actual death. You are not equipped to stand up and fight, to fix or correct the situation that you find yourself in. Financial independence liberates you mentally, emotionally and allows you to safeguard your creative space. Women like to compromise without being asked to. If your partner has requested that you stay at home as a house executive, please my sister, get legal advice and draft a binding contract to protect yourself and your children. Let your responsibilities be clarified and captured in a legally binding stay-at-home contract and let your remuneration be negotiated, including pension and retirement annuity. Yes, your remuneration for working at home!

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Do this not only to protect your little ones, but also to protect your own interests and your heart. Business and personal relationships are similar in the sense that in the former you connect with a stranger to make money and in the latter you connect with a stranger for love. In both there is a mutual exchange, which requires some sort of formal agreement. Moreover, every woman should have a secret savings fund, or umgodla, for rainy days or emergencies. After reading this, go and have a one-onone with your grandmother, if she is still alive, and you’ll find that she has many words of wisdom for you. The expensive bags, clothes and holidays are not a ‘cool’ way of investing. As you shop, think rather of your secret savings fund; think of your protection and putting aside that bit of extra money of your own. In her final moments, my grandmother told me to fetch her wallet from a kist. In it there were well-preserved notes that she had saved for over 40 years. That old money comes in handy when there’s a serious crisis in the family. That old culture of secret savings needs to make a comeback with the women of today. As women, we often want permission for everything. We keep willingly handing over our power and then have the audacity to blame men for ‘stealing’ it. The question we need to ask ourselves is who told us we couldn’t be independent? Who said it is unlawful to economically emancipate yourself? Who on earth has ever dared to murmur that it is unconstitutional? So many of our sisters have accepted the financial ruin they live in and do not take any responsibility for it. What I’ve learnt from the old and wise women who sit under the big bamboo trees when the sun is at peak is this… Start that secret savings fund today for that peace of mind tomorrow! And for a little added incentive, read our article on how your friends influence your financial fitness (p. 50).

Nawaal And Team Essays Of Africa Nawaal@kwentamedia.com

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EOA CONTRIBUTORS

CELEBRATING FREEDOM We asked our contributors what freedom means to them, what freedoms they enjoy today, and which ones they still yearn for.

To me freedom means the right to do as I please without interference or dictation. I must be able to freely exercise my thoughts and my beliefs should not be undermined. I must be free to act as I choose, but not at the expense of another person’s freedom. I am happy to have the privilege to live in a suburban area that was previously designated only to white people. I am free to take my children to the school of my choice. During my career, I was given the opportunity to manage people of different racial groups and hold a position that was previously male dominated and reserved for white people. I still want an economic freedom; I feel that my ambitions to run my own business are being suppressed by the empty promises of government institutions that claim to be supporting women and youth initiatives, but do so ineffectively as they make the requirements unobtainable for many.

Bulelwa Mokori, Features Writer

Zama Nkosi-Mabuye, Managing Editor

Freedom to me means being able to wear many hats and do all the things I want to do as a young woman. I am able to express myself freely in those positions without constraints. I’m happy that we live in a country where there are vast opportunities to make effective choices, but I would also like our country to get the balance right. We need to understand that with this freedom comes responsibility, consideration of others and being able to gain comfort without being destructive to others.

Siphokazi Masele, Junior Designer

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When I think of the significance of Freedom Day (24 April), I’m immediately reminded of a quote from Toni Morrison’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel on freedom, Beloved (1988) where she writes: ‘Freeing yourself is one thing, claiming ownership over that freed self is another.’ I think this forms the crux of true freedom, on a personal and more symbolic level. Many people sacrificed and died for the freedoms we now enjoy as a democratic nation, and I think this cannot be taken lightly. Yet the onus is upon us, particularly as women, to constantly redefine and assert ownership over our lives – our bodies, our spirits, our minds. To be free is one of the most delicious, exhilarating feelings; being fully present takes courage.

Caryn Thandi Petersen, Features Writer

Freedom for me means better access to opportunities that my parents and their parents were denied. I’m happy that, theoretically, I have the freedom to be able to go anywhere in the country at any time I please. I still want the imminent threat of genderbased violence in some of those places to stop, as this hinders women in their freedom of movement in our country.

Helen Herimbi, Features Writer

WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY CONTRIBUTORS.

For me, freedom means the ability to carve out the life and identity I want without systems put in place to stop that. I am grateful for the freedom to be who I want to be, the freedom to explore what that even means and the freedom to express it how I see fit. One of the freedoms I am grateful for is the freedom to make a living – that allows me independence and the gift of sharing my talents and resources with others. I don’t take that for granted. As a black woman in SA, my freedom is not complete until I can feel free and safe in my surroundings and know that others are too. We still have a way to go.

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ONLINE UPDATE EOA

EOA IS ON TWITTER

Social media fans can follow us and get their EOA Daily newsletter via Facebook and Twitter feeds. Read the latest lifestyle, health and beauty trends at the click of a link so you never have to miss out. Follow @EssaysOfAfrica or EssayOfAfrica on Facebook and be kept in the loop all the time.

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Matching a stylish outfit to the perfect accessories is easy if you know how. We help fashionistas to put their best style foot forward with many ideas and suggestions. Visit http://www.essaysofafrica.com/ category/fashion-beauty/beauty-fashionnews/ to learn what’s in and what’s out in the fashion industry!

If you would like to plan a romantic candlelit dinner for your man, but have no idea what to cook, EOA Daily has your covered. Not knowing what to cook is half of the problem and subscribing to our daily online newsletter at www.essaysofafrica.com and we will deliver delicious recipe ideas directly to your inbox. No more endless searching – simply save the ones you like and voilà! You will be on your way to winning your man’s heart… through his stomach, of course!

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EOA LETTERS

Your voices SOCIAL MEDIA

EOA HONES THE WRITER IN SIBUSISO For as along as I can remember, it has always been my quest and passion to be a writer at some point in my life. By reading Essays Of Africa regularly, my reading and writing skills have been honed. Nawaal’s editor’s letters always manifest the writer in me. Thank you for a great publication that speaks volumes to its readers and motivates them to colour outside the lines and to go out there and reach for their dreams. They say words are powerful and what you profess with your mouth can be granted, so I say, “I will become a great writer one day!”

Sibusiso Radebe

I get my EOA dose online. Love the women on a journey, lifestyle and blogs. Never got a chance to personally congratulate you on this – bravo! Magareth Canca I am enjoying the topics. Thank you for yet another world-class mag. Busi Kubheka Oh I love your mag, dear! Since you gave us the free one at our Women’s Day event I’ve been getting a copy every month. I struggled to get an outlet first and you told me where to go; now it’s my monthly must-buy mag. I love the people you feature and the unique content; your fashion is powerful. Nyeleti Makhubele I look forward to buying a copy for my friend. She is interested in improving her sex appeal. I am a great friend, aren’t I? Liz Makoma Ditshego Nothemba Kula @nothembakula1 @drtlaleng @EssaysOfAfrica @MissLopi Anything published by EOA is worth reading. No other magazine opens up platforms for women like it! Viva! Ndoni Khanyile @NdoniKhanyile @MasechabaNdlovu @EssaysOfAfrica congratulations to you and the team on a truly striking cover! It was a pleasure to hear your story. Dimakatso Motau @dimak8 @MkhariGiven @EssaysOfAfrica @MasechabaNdlovu Yes! This magazine stays winning!

We would love to hear your views, news and especially your feedback on the magazine. E-mail us at letters@ essaysofafrica.com or post your comments on Facebook.com/essayofafrica, @EssaysOfAfrica or EssaysOfAfrica.

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READERS’ CORNER EOA

STRONG BLACK WOMAN?

WORDS AND IMAGE: NAPOGADI MORENA

Napogadi Morena shares her issues with the ‘strong black woman’ narrative with EOA. m a black woman who has always been surrounded by many other black women, most of them members and supporters of the Strong Black Woman (SBW) brigade. I think the SBW label denies so many of us a chance to live honestly and dance to the rhythm of our own heartbeats. Once a woman has earned the SBW badge, they can’t even for a single moment be caught looking weak or vulnerable. Most of us go through life wearing the SBW mask and we never give ourselves a chance to live it out; the very mask robs us of quite a lot. Take motherhood for instance. Often the single mother is praised and elevated as the stronger one as compared to the partnered mother. In my opinion, the single mother does what she has to do in order to meet the demands of her unconventional circumstances, while the partnered mother also does what’s suitable for her environment. None of them is exempt from any of the challenges that require her strength to resolve or cope. The elevation of one over the other often breaks the chain of sisterhood more than anything else, a chain that is so precious to us.

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NAPOGADI MORENA

Yes, there are battles that only the black woman faces and there are societal privileges we haven’t enjoyed in the past and struggle to enjoy today. To that I say let’s march and fight on until we’re seen and treated fully as human beings. But this shouldn’t take away our right to break down and cry buckets when it hurts, admit to vulnerability, fall when feeling helpless, scream out when the burden gets too heavy, laugh uncontrollably when it’s funny and smile from the heart when it feels good. May we always allow ourselves to journey through life without ever feeling like we’re jumping out of character each time we show our real thoughts and feelings. Life has taught me that there will be moments that have to be met with perseverance and resilience; there’ll be moments that command patience; lessons will come in many different shapes, and choices will have to be made. All of that is not unique to the black woman; every person who is navigating their life journey goes through these experiences. My name is Napogadi and I’m not joining the queue to get my strong black woman badge. I’ll give it a pass. I’m a human black woman and I’m okay with that. I live, I love, I cry a lot and I laugh hard. E

“The elevation of one over the other often breaks the chain of sisterhood more than anything else, a chain that is so precious to us.” 11

APRIL 2016

2016/02/29 5:10 PM


EOA GUEST BLOG

MEET MISS TECHY Within a few months of the launch of Oluwatobi Dorcas Ayeni’s blog, MissTechy, it was recognised as one of the top tech blogs in Nigeria by e-commerce giant, Jumia. She shares the rationale behind starting her blog.

he reason I started blogging can be traced back to my university days. I have been passionate about technology for as long as I can remember. I recall staying up all night to find solutions to a tech problem I might be having. This passion inspired me to start helping people fix their computers in school for a fee, but it never occurred to me to create a blog. When I started working as a digital strategist I was introduced to the world of blogging, where I noticed how underrepresented women are in the African tech blogging space. The men who dominate this space talk about tech in a language only a techie might understand. So, in a bid to offer a female’s perspective and also share information about tech in a way a layman can understand – and because of my affinity for technology – I was inspired to start MissTechy. In other words, to make tech as fun as possible!

WORDS AND IMAGES: VECTORCHARACTERS.NET.

“… in a bid to offer a female’s perspective and also share information about tech in a way a layman can understand – and because of my affinity for technology – I was inspired to start MissTechy.” AFFECTING OTHER AFRICAN WOMEN The reality is that many female tech lovers don’t feel compelled to talk about it, as they believe that the men are already doing a good job of it. Others believe they cannot compete with the sheer number of male tech blogs in Africa. However, after launching MissTechy, I received several e-mails from fellow women in tech who claimed that MissTechy gave them the courage to start their own thing. Starting MissTechy is like giving the African woman a voice. It represents much more than just a technology blog. It is a way of saying that women have what it takes to be serious contenders in the tech industry and this can be seen with the growth of the blog. I envisage that MissTechy will make more African women see tech in a different light because, whether we like it or not, technology is taking over the world and the faster we get involved, the better. E

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Follow MissTechy’s world on www.misstechy. com and @MissTechyNG.

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

2016/02/29 5:11 PM


UNCOVERED EOA

FACING REALITY

HEAD ON

WORDS: NDONI KHANYILE. IMAGE: instituteofwomen.com.

As we celebrate the liberation of South Africa, NDONI KHANYILE looks at the road ahead now that the fantastical nature of the rainbow nation has been uncovered. wenty-two years into our democratic dispensation and the truth of who and where we are as a country has been laid bare. The euphoria of the nineties and hedonism of the first decade of the millennium have passed and left us all staggering with a post-rainbow nation hangover. The naked truth can be hard to stomach in the harsh light of day. In our rush to celebrate our gains and bask in the international glory of being the world’s miracle nation, we forgot that all we had really won ourselves was time. Time to meet one another anew and heal, time to face our demons head on and break our inherited patterns and, most importantly, time to begin to build the foundation on which our collective futures could stand. We didn’t do that. As black people, we emerged with generational battle fatigue. Hundreds of years of resistance and struggle left our generation hungry for normalcy and the opportunity our white compatriots had always enjoyed of being themselves, instead of representatives of our cultures or races in daily encounters. White people, I imagine, were happy that it all ended so ‘tidily’ and that the sins of their fathers did not seem likely to be visited on them. We breathed a collective sigh of relief. But now, the clock on our postmiracle amnesty has run out and we are left to face the fact that the hardest work still lies ahead and this time, it will require a truly collective effort.

White South Africans can no longer feign ignorance about their unearned privileges as beneficiaries of one of the most oppressive racist regimes in modern history. Black South Africans can longer afford to medicate themselves with materialism, while hoping that an elected government will heal our pain. What lies ahead is a long painstaking journey that requires the active participation of every person who claims to love this beautiful country of ours. The young lions of the #RhodesMustFall movement invoked the spirit of 1976 to show us that the only way to move forward is to decolonise or reprogramme our minds, our schools, our workplaces and our institutions, so that we can begin to live conscious of, but unshackled from, our past. Our politics must truly become personal and we need to act and speak as though our collective futures depend on it. Yinde lendlela esihambayo (the road ahead is still long) and we will need community and solidarity to share the load and renew our strength as we build together. The irrepressible American feminist and civil rights activist, Audre Lorde, once said: “As we get in touch with the things that we feel are intolerable, in our lives, they become more and more intolerable. If we just once dealt with how much we hate most of what we do, there would be no holding us back from changing it. This is true with any kind of movement. This is the way in which the philosopher/Queen, the poet-warrior leads.” In solidarity and sisterhood, Happy Freedom Day warrior women! E

“… the clock on our post-miracle amnesty has run out and we are left to face the fact that the hardest work still lies ahead and this time, it will require a truly collective effort.”

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EOA REAl life

BLESSED TO SEE ANOTHER DAY Sometimes our plans don’t work out as we hoped. Ncumisa Cekiso learnt that when what was meant to be the holiday of her life almost turned into a nightmare.

letter was very inspirational, especially given my recent unfortunate lifethreatening experience. It awakened some critical thoughts within me in relation to my future plans, my dreams, my aspirations and, more importantly, how we can turn our dreams into reality. As these thoughts started streaming through my mind, I was struck by fear. I remembered the horrific car accident I survived in December of 2015 with my beautiful six-year-old daughter Zinhle. We were on our way to East London to enjoy what I thought was to be the happiest holiday of my life. I had just bought my first car and was going home to show my parents my accomplishment for 2015. Zinhle was sitting in the back, buckled up as I always insisted whenever we were driving. I was cruising steadily when, in an instant, the car swerved off the road straight onto the gravel and bushy outskirts of the freeway. All I could do was to hold on tight to my seat. I couldn’t do anything but hope that this was not the end of our days. In that moment I saw the doors of heaven opening right before my eyes; all my desires and aspirations dashed in a second. I could not hear or feel anything; I could not even hear my daughter’s scream or the sound of her voice. After rolling uncontrollably, the car finally came to a halt – fortunately on its wheels – and all I could think about was Zinhle. When I looked back, she was not there. I got out of the car and ran around outside, searching desperately for her.

t was a Thursday morning whilst travelling to work using a maxi cab. I was sitting in the back seat when I noticed there was a copy of Essays of Africa magazine lying there. As I browsed through the magazine, I came across an interesting editor’s letter titled If You Can Change It written by Nawaal. It was such a pleasant feeling to see such a beautiful and familiar face next to the article. The excitement got the better of me as I read the article; even the cab driver couldn’t help but notice my smile. The

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Eventually, I heard a small voice crying in the distance and I followed the sound of the voice. I was crying with fear yet excited that my beautiful daughter was alive. As I saw her frightened face, I held her in my arms for the longest time and I kept calling out her name, grateful that I had found her in one piece so far from the scene of the accident. Then I lost consciousness. I am forever grateful to all those beautiful souls who took time to help us during the ordeal, including a friend of mine who was driving in front of me before the accident happened. An investigation into the cause of the accident revealed that the wind might have been the cause for my car to swerve off the road. Even though I had meticulously planned this holiday, God had other plans and He didn’t forsake us in our time of need. Sometimes things happen for a reason – to balance things, to teach us things, to humble us. I trust God’s purpose and plans for my life. Since that experience, I have a new appreciation for life and I am forever grateful to have been given a second chance. I am now even more determined to enjoy the present and to live in the moment but, more importantly, to create a better tomorrow for my loving daughter, Zinhle. E

WORDS AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY NCUMISA CEKISO.

“I was cruising steadily when, in an instant, the car swerved off the road straight onto the gravel and bushy outskirts of the freeway.”

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2016/02/29 5:12 PM


FASHION NEWS EOA

BOKEH 2016

SOMETHING FOR MEN THIS AUTUMN

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. SOURCES: JK PUBLIC RELATIONS; VIVID LUXURY; WECONNECTFASHION.

Tommy Hilfiger has presented his Fall 2016 Menswear Hilfiger Edition Collection. The brand has taken a look at their own history of 30 years and collected some of Tommy’s most signature pieces, to deliver the fundamental building blocks of a modern wardrobe. Once everything is seamed together and complete, the outfits are sure to make your man look more youthful and fashion forward.

Known globally as one of the most creative fashion film festivals, the Mercedes-Benz Bokeh South African Fashion Film Festival will bring creatives in the film, fashion, art and related technical industries together to celebrate their craft. In 2014, the festival was held in the Mother City in June and Johannesburg in September, and delivered a platform for local and international speakers, film makers, fashion designers and guests to mingle, while sipping champagne and indulging in the finest food and taking in the inspiring fashion films on offer. This year’s festival will be held from 21 to 23 April at the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town. Visit bokehfestival.co.za.

KEEP UP WITH TRENDS

As always, Fashion Snoops’ A/W 2016-7 Colour Forecast looks amazing! This autumn six key palettes will come to play. Terrain, saturated earth colours will make the most influential mark, due to the come back of brown tones. Frontier neutrals are notably darker than before, while Impulse offers a more vibrant palette of bright shades. Mystery, on the other hand, offers jewel tones with burgundy and cyan at the forefront. Nostalgia mid-tones are decidedly more vibrant, and finally, Cleanse acts as a palette cleanser with soft, barely-there pastel. Visit Weconnectfashion.com.

E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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Get Stepping in Pretty Ballerinas Known for enduring quality and exquisite handcrafted ballet flats, legendary Spanish footwear brand Pretty Ballerinas is now in South Africa. Worn by the likes of Kate Moss, Claudia Schiffer and Angelina Jolie, the brogue shoe is becoming an increasingly popular and comfortable choice of footwear for many women. If you want to go to work with a menswear-inspired look, then these effortlessly chic brogues are an absolute must-have! The Pretty Ballerinas Charlize Collection is available at the Pretty Ballerinas flagship store in Hyde Park Corner from R3 970. Call 011 325 5411 for more information. E

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EOA FASHION

COLOUR-CODED 1. SHORT COAT, R749, H&M. 2. FLORAL DRESS, R999, ZARA. 3. SUEDE LASER-CUT HEELS (BROWN), R1379, RIVER ISLAND, EDGARS. 4. DORAH TAN HANDBAG, R1 499.95, DUNE LONDON, EDGARS. 5. SPITFIRE SUNGLASSES, R289, H&M. 6. LEATHER WRAP BRACELET, R349, WOOLWORTHS. 7. JULIE SEMI-PRECIOUS DROP EARRINGS, R129, FOREVER NEW.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

Let the colour brown dominate your outfit with this month’s stylish selection.

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REAL WOMAN EOA

CONFIDENT IN DENIM

BLACK BODYSUIT, R449, SISSY BOY, STUTTAFORDS. TORN DENIM, R759, TOPSHOP. WHITE BLAZER, R999, TOPSHOP. WHITE HEELS, R659, ZARA.

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Photographer Lesego Legobane embraces the curves of fullerfigured women through her wellknown plus-size blog, Thick Leeyonce. etter known by her social media alter ego, Thick Leeyonce, Lesego Legabane grew up in the small town of Potchefstroom in North West province. Her single mother raised her, with the help of her grandmother and aunt. Legabane was an academic achiever at school and her creativity came through in her love of art and passion for photography, and she is currently completing her final year at Wits as a political science major. Well-known for her blog, Thick Leeyonce, and an outspoken self-love advocate, she has accumulated a large following for both her photography and her fashion blog, where every woman is appreciated and encouraged to be their fashion fabulous selves. E

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DENIM PONCHO, R889, RIVER ISLAND. ORANGE SHIRT, R349, RIVER ISLAND. TORN DENIM, R759, TOPSHOP. ORANGE SANDALS, R2 350, CASTELO.

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REAL WOMAN EOA

TORN DENIM, R759, TOPSHOP. BLACK BODYSUIT, R449, SISSY BOY, STUTTAFORDS. SLEEVELESS BLAZER, R1 269, RIVER ISLAND. BROWN HEELS, R1 199, ZARA.

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The beauty of denim is its versatility. You can style it up to feel sexy or down for comfort. sexycomfortable or sexy.

HIGH-NECK BODYSUIT, R349, TOPSHOP. GREY BLAZER, R999, TOPSHOP. HIGH-WAISTED DENIM, R759, TOPSHOP. BLACK HEELS, R1 099, RIVER ISLAND.

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PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. MAKE-UP ARTIST: VUYO VAROYI. MODEL: LESEGO LEGABANE.

EOA REAL WOMAN

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C H A R M RO S E The original – a distinctive blend of floral, fruity and Oriental notes

C H A R M RO S E I N T E N S E A floral fragrance made dramatic with a symphony of black roses

CHARM KISS A flirtatious scent of chocolate, strawberry and champagne

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02/02/2015 14:22 2016/03/01 2:33 PM


Shopping

EOA FASHION

CARDIGAN COMFORT

DARK RED FRONT BUTTON CARDIGAN, R2 600, KAREN MILLEN.

PINK MULTIFLORAL CARDIGAN, R2 300, KAREN MILLEN.

MILITARY GREEN CARDIGAN, R3 699, TIGER OF SWEDEN.

PEACH CARDIGAN, R369, PLUM TREE, SPREE.

PRINTED FLUFFY CARDIGAN, R450, G.COUTURE, ZANDO.

FINE-KNIT CARDIGAN, R299, H&M.

COCOON LONG LINE CARDIGAN, R399, AMARA REYA, SPREE. WIDO CARDIGAN, R4 399, TIGER OF SWEDEN.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS, ODCLOTH.COM, ODCLOTH.COM, PINTEREST.COM.

KNITTED CARDIGAN, R299, H&M.

Light enough to wear in layers, cardigans can be worn for any kind of weather or occasion. 22

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Beyond the Blue C51101

new only at

Clicks

For more beauty tips visit www.clicks.co.za

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2015/05/13 4:29 PM 2016/03/01 2:35 PM


Shopping

DRESS IT UP 5 1 2 4

Give your fashion favourites a makeover with the latest in autumn accessories, from 3

sunglasses and hats to 6

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1. CARLA FLOPPY FELT HAT, R399, FOREVER NEW. 2. SUNGLASSES (GOLD), R199.95, EDGARS. 3. PATTERNED SCARF (ORANGE), R149, H&M. 4. SURF ROCK ROUND SUNGLASSES, R329, SPITFIRE, ZANDO. 5. BLACK FELT HAT, R349, H&M. 6. SHADOW BUTTERFLY SCARF, R119, LILY & ROSE, ZANDO. 7. FAT DEXTER SUNNIES, R2 409, G-STAR RAW. 8. BLUE SCARF (BLUE), FROM R1 199 – R1 499, JIGSAW, EDGARS. 9. DARK TINTED WAYFARER SUNGLASSES, R145, INCH, SPREE. 10. BOTANICAL PRINT SCARF, R119, LILY & ROSE, ZANDO. 11. FAT OXLEX SUNNIES, R2 925, G-STAR RAW. 12. SCARF (BEIGE), FROM R1 199 – R1 499, JIGSAW, EDGARS. 13. SUNGLASSES (BLACK AND WHITE), R199.95, EDGARS. 14. PATTERNED SCARF, R149, H&M. 15. ROUND SUNGLASSES, R199, BONDIBLU, ZANDO. 16. WOOL HAT (DARK BLUE), R399, H&M. 17. PATTERNED TUBE SCARF, R129, H&M.

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STYLISHLY ALERT

THULI MOLA

Thuli Mola’s name has become synonymous with classy dressing. We speak to the founder of Style Alert SA to learn about her world of fashion. A P RI L 2 0 1 6

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FASHION INTERVIEW EOA

ashion has always been a source of great joy for Thuli Mola, but it wasn’t until she lost her job doing sales for an eventing company that she fully immersed herself in her dream. These days she employs a team of six, with plans to expand the brand.

Q: How did you end up in the fashion industry?

After I was retrenched, I decided to follow my fashion dream while looking for another job. I used to reach out to editors in an effort to get my styling work recognised and never got any responses. In 2011 I decided to showcase my styling work on Facebook and I started to get quite a following. I called it ‘Style Alert’ because that’s what I wanted to do – alert people to the kind of fashion I love, which has a very vintage feel to it. As my following grew, people would ask where I found my clothes. I would tell them I got them from thrift shops and some would offer to buy the clothes from me. I then moved on to doing pop-up sales in my garage in Dube, Soweto.

it costs to make them but other stores can, so customers flock there. The Chinese also make clothes at a cheaper price. I felt the effects of that this last festive season. There’s also an increase in competition; every second girl with an Instagram account is duplicating designs and selling them. The only way to stay ahead of the curve is to perfect what you do and build a client base that trusts your style and the quality of your work.

Q: Tell us about your Style Masterclass?

Style Masterclass is very special to me. It’s like a seminar where we speak about the fashion must-haves and what to wear it with. We teach women how to wear their clothes differently and for different occasions, which really helps a lot of women find and be comfortable with their style.

“I called it ‘Style Alert’ because that’s what I wanted to do – alert people to the kind of fashion I love, which has a very vintage feel to it.” Q: How did you grow your business from pop-ups to the brand it is today?

WORDS: ZAMA NKOSI-MABUYE. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY THULI MOLA.

I went from having monthly pop-ups and then I started looking for gaps in the market. People loved the clothes I sold but there was only one of each item, so I decided to start a brand that caters to vintage wear where we have more than one item in one size. I make no more than 50 of each item, no mater how popular it is, because I want to maintain the exclusivity of my items. I’m now moving away from having a store to having an online store instead and I want to do more styling work as well.

Q: How has your big presence on social media helped to shape your career?

Social media is part of the reason why I am where I am today. Facebook helped me create an audience that helped me grow my brand. I would do my research and marketing through social media. I didn’t have access to traditional media platforms at the time and social media helped me make my mark.

Q: What are some of the industry challenges you face?

Because of the number of ready-to-wear shops opening up locally, the local manufacturer suffers. I can’t price my jumpsuits at R399 because that’s what

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STYLE MASTERCLASS

Q: How do you define success?

For me success is being fully satisfied with what I’ve done and worked on. I’m not fulfilled with what I have done yet, not according to my standards. I want to change people’s lives, as well as their wardrobes. I also want to be at the very top of my field. When I have that satisfaction, I will feel I have achieved success.

THULI MOLA’S STYLE TIPS

 Confidence is key. There’s no point wearing the prettiest dress if you don’t have the confidence to pull it off.  Comfort is very important. If you’re not comfortable, it will show and will mess with your confidence.  Fashion is fun. Try out everything you have and in different combos. Don’t wear your clothes the same way all the time; it shouldn’t be such a mission to mix it up and take chances.  Sexy doesn’t mean naked. There are many ways to be sexy, so rather explore those. E Follow Thuli on Instagram: StyleAlertSA or www. stylealertsa.com.

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Shopping

EOA FASHION

PUMPED UP FOR AUTUMN 2 1

3

A new season means new shoes and we’ve selected a few flats that will get you moving in the right direction. 4

formal pumps

casual pum

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8 9 1. SHIRLEY TARTAN RED PATENT, R3 970, PRETTY BALLERINA. 2. MULTICOLOUR FICTION BALLET PUMPS, R700, MIMCO. 3. LEATHER POINTED PUMPS, R399, WOOLWORTHS. 4. WOMEN MARIANA PUMPS, R379, BRONX, ZANDO. 5. POINTED JELLY PUMPS, R189, CHRISTINE, SPREE. 6. POINTED-TOE PUMPS, R200, BATA, SPREE. 7. FICTION BALLET PUMPS (RED), R700, MIMCO. 8. SPIKED SHOES (BLACK), R6 795, PINKO, D’ORÉ. 9. SHIRLEY GOLD CHAIN LEATHER PUMPS, R3 970, PRETTY BALLERINA.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS, BEAUTIFFULCURLS.TUMBLR.COM, PINTEREST.COM.

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SMART SEXY

LONG-SLEEVED MULTILAYER SHIRT DRESS, R1 699.95, BANANA REPUBLIC, STUTTAFORDS. BROWN CUT-THROUGH HEELS, R1 439, RIVER ISLAND.

SEASON TRENDS MADE EASY

KEEP IT WHITE AND FASHIONABLE

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FASHION main EOA

Keep it casual...

WHITE DRESS, R849, TOPSHOP. LEATHER BOOT-STYLE SANDALS, R1 199, ZARA.

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Keep it smart...

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CARMEN TOP, R699, RIVER ISLAND. BODY CON SKIRT WITH LACE DETAIL, R559, RIVER ISLAND. GRAB BAG, R1 499, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS. COURT HEELS, R2 199.95, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS.

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Keep it tight...

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ELIZABETH SPLICED LACE TOP, R399, FOREVER NEW. SUPER HIGH-WAISTED SKINNY JEANS, R759, TOPSHOP. TOTE HANDBAG (BRIGHT PINK), R3 699, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS. BALLERINA SHOES, R999.95, TED BAKER, STUTTAFORDS.

2016/03/01 12:40 PM


Keep it stylish... BACK RIBBON BLOUSE, R799, MANGO. TAB-DETAIL HIGH-WAIST PANTS, R1 399, MANGO. JULIANA DRAWSTRING BUCKET, R2 199, GUESS. ANIMAL-PRINT STILETTO, R1 199, ZARA.

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FASHION main EOA

Keep it sexy... SHORT-SLEEVED, SURPLICE JUMPSUIT, R1 399, GUESS. YELLOW HEELS, R1 450, CASTELO.

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Keep it simple...

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MANDARIN SHIRT DRESS, R899.95, JENJA, STUTTAFORDS. MOCCASIN SHOES, R2 299.95, TOMMY HILFIGER, STUTTAFORDS.

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Keep it elegant... WILD WORLD MIDI DRESS, R699.95, SISSY BOY, STUTTAFORDS. BLACK AND PRINT HIGH HEELS, R1 659, RIVER ISLAND.

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Keep it funky...

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WHITE SHIRT, R599, H&M. HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS, R599, TOPSHOP. COMBO BODYSUIT, R449.95, SISSY BOY, STUTTAFORDS. FLAT PLATFORM LACE-UP SHOES, R659, ZARA.

2016/03/01 11:22 AM


PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: TEBATJO MANAMELA. MAKE-UP ARTIST: VUYO VAROYI. MODEL: BLANCA JANCHES FOR ICE MODELS.

FASHION main EOA

Keep it contemporary... SKORT PLAYSUIT DRESS, R899, ZARA. HIGH HEELS, POR, RIVER ISLAND.

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ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF Armed with a Bible in her bag, an easy smile and the ambition to take it all the way to the very top, Thembisa Mdoda opens up to EOA about who she really is.

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COVER STORY EOA

ers is the face and voice that millions of South Africans tune into on Sunday nights in order to get a voyeuristic look at couples planning their weddings. Thembisa has carved out her spot on the show, with warmth and relatability being some of the things that have endeared her to a fussy audience that judges the host of the show just as harshly as they do the weddings. One of the things I quickly learn about Thembisa is that she is always at least 10 minutes early when an appointment is set. After our chats, I learn that it’s just one of the qualities of someone who is in a good place in her life; she isn’t running around aimlessly, she is in the driver’s seat of her life. In the last few months, Thembisa has been the subject of many hurtful headlines and rumours but seemingly unpeturbed, she gives us a gracious glimpse into what her life is really about.

“[Being early] is one of the qualities of someone who is in a good place in her life; she isn’t running around aimlessly, she is in the driver’s seat of her life.”

ROYALLY RAISED

Thembisa is the second of four girls in the Mdoda family. She recalls her childhood as one filled with love, support and a sense of security thanks to her parents, Pat and Yolisa. “My family has always been very close-knit. Our parents kept us very sheltered growing up and now that I’m a mother,” she says, “I realise that they did an amazing job at being parents.” Thembisa was due to start univeristy at 17 and her heart was set on studying art. “My parents would not hear of it,” she says with a laugh. “My dad took time off work to take me to different institutions to try get me to study something computer-related, because I had a knack for it,” she reminisces. They settled on graphic design as a happy medium between her parents’ desire for her security and her own desire for creativity. After she graduated in what she calls ‘my father’s degree’ at Pretoria Tech in 2003 she went on to find a job – it was a shortlived experience. “After working for about four months, I asked if I could take leave to go

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COVER STORY EOA to the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown. They obviously said no because I was so new, so I resigned, asked them to pay me the money that was owed to me and took a bus to Grahamstown. It was during her time in Grahamstown that she was struck by another passion, the desire to get on stage. “I knew that I had found my calling. That instant gave me something to keep for the rest of my life.” She went home determined to study drama. “My mother was totally against it, but I went to audition at Wits anyway and was accepted on the spot,” she says, smiling. In 2004, she started her studies at Wits, majoring in drama and media studies and journalism. During her time at Wits, Thembisa was hungry to learn, which is exactly what she did in various roles at Voice of Wits and on stage. She didn’t know it then, but she was setting the foundation for a life that requires juggling various roles simultaneously… and well. After graduation, she was booked for a Redd’s commercial, her first official gig. She also got a role in Home Affairs, a role that was another masterclass. “TV is so difficult; people don’t see it, but it’s crazy. In theatre you can let your body go but with television there is technical stuff to consider, such as knowing where the cameras are or knowing exactly where to stand. It blew my mind! I didn’t know it was going to be like that but I left there wanting more, and I felt it was worth it.”

HEARTBROKEN AND LOST

In 2009, the Mdodas’ world was blown apart by their mother’s death. “My mom had been sick for about two years, but they didn’t know what was wrong with her. Two weeks before she passed away, they found out it was pancreatic cancer,” Thembisa explains, her body language and tone changing. “I remember I was in Cape Town and my dad called, asking me to come home. When I saw her at the hospital that day, I knew that she was leaving.” The event changed Thembisa in ways she was oblivious to at the time. “I was not the same after that and for the longest time, I covered my pain with so many other things,” she admits. “I only stopped mourning my mother last year; I couldn’t even speak about her without crying. I had a lot of guilt around her passing because I was always so close to my dad. I felt like I could have spent more time with her and spoken to her more – but I had to let that go.” Thembisa says that she was closed off emotionally for the five years that followed – not a conscious decision on her part. “I used to wonder why I wasn’t getting roles but, with hindsight, I realise that I couldn’t allow myself to be open emotionally because I was so scared of what I would feel about my mom’s passing. I guess it was the same for relationships;

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“I knew at that moment that I wanted to be an actress. I knew that I had found my calling. That instant gave me something to keep for the rest of my life.”

2016/03/01 1:30 PM


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COVER STORY EOA you think you are open until you see that you never really were. I was like a stone gathering moss; at some point you have to stop because you are so heavy.”

A LIONESS IS BORN

In 2011 Thembisa fell pregnant. “It was actually Atandwa (her partner at the time) who said I must have a pregnancy test, which was negative. A few weeks down the line, I took another one and it was positve,” and so were the six after that. Thembisa recalls waiting a few months before telling her dad. “It’s weird because in Xhosa culture, you’re always a child to your parents no matter your age, so it took me a while.” She later found out she was expecting identical twins. “I had a very difficult pregnancy and was put on bedrest from my fourth month of pregnancy. I was overwhelmed.” It was during this time that she tapped into her journalistic skills working for titles such as Blaque and Real. Her sons were born on 26 February 2012, ushering in a new chapter for Thembisa. “It turned me into a lioness; I was and still am protective about the course of my children’s lives. Nothing gives me greater joy than to give it my best for them. I have gotten up more times than I have fallen because of them. I used to mourn small things for a long time before them, but I no longer do that. If your eyes burn with pain and tears, that’s how your kids will grow up. You don’t want them to have fear, so it made me stand up for myself. I won’t be bullied,” she states emphatically. Thembisa’s family has been a huge source of support when it comes to her children. “I am so blessed when it comes to family and their support. When I am working, my kids have options of which aunt they want to go to, and they have my dad. They have an endless supply of love,” she admits. When Thembisa speaks of her kids and her family, it’s the only time during our chat that she gets misty-eyed. “I get emotional when I think of how blessed we are,” she explains. She credits her father and her sisters, Unathi (35), Anele (32) and Zama (21) for who she has become. “Unathi is headstrong yet homely, she holds us together. Anele tells it like it is yet she is so loving – she exudes love, she is love. Zama taught me understanding and she is wise beyond her years. She will talk you through a situation and you get to the end feeling lighter,” Thembisa describes. It’s taken me the longest time to grow into my skin and I did it with their help.”

BREAKDOWNS AND BREAKTHROUGHS

The last year has been filled with peaks for Thembisa’s career; she got herself a role on The Road and landed the coveted Our Perfect Wedding (OPW) gig. That period hasn’t been without it’s valleys. Her breakup was made public by her ex, Atandwa Kani, and he went on to deny paternity of the twins on the day that her first episode of OPW aired. “I won’t say it was an easy thing to go through, but I will say that I was very prepared for it spiritually; it found me at my strongest,” she asserts. Thembisa says that in 2015 she really worked hard at letting go of many of her burdens, which helped her to withstand this chapter of her life. “It’s easy for me to be silent because I finally understand that I am enough. I don’t need validation and I

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“If your eyes burn with pain and tears, that’s how your kids will grow up. You don’t want them to have fear, so it made me stand up for myself. I won’t be bullied.”

2016/03/01 1:21 PM


EOA COVER STORY WORDS: ZAMA NKOSI-MABUYE. PHOTOGRAPHER: GARETH JACOBS. STYLIST: TUMI MDLULI. ASSISTANT: MANDISA MANI. HAIR & MAKE-UP: LUCOH MHLONGO. DRESSED BY: STUTTAFORDS.

don’t need to victimise anyone to feel good,” she says calmly, adding, “It’s human nature to want people to see you in the best light, not at the expense of my private life and my kids’ private life.” The day the story broke and the show aired, Thembisa was flying back from East London after a weekend spent with her family. “I received a lot of love that day and I was reminded that if God takes you to it, He will take you through it. Their plan for that day didn’t work, it was a lovely day.” She says she is grateful for the platform and admits that the timing couldn’t have been better. “I’m a lover of love and the show came at a time where people expected me to be sad or to hate Atandwa, and I am not either of those things. I know that I can’t hate him and raise his kids well. Spending time with these couples is so beautiful and therapeutic for me and continues to teach me about what I want and don’t want in love. I am happy, live a great life and that is enough for me”

ONE STEP AT A TIME

The future is looking bright for Thembisa and she has the energy to take it even further. I ask her who she wants to be 10 years from now, when she is 43. “I want to be an amazing mother; that means becoming a better version of myself. I want to be an impeccable performer, be untouchable with my art while being an industry leader. I want that producer money,” she laughs. “I want to shape the industry with the other creatives so that those who come after us have a viable industry. I want to be healthy inside and out and to for my production company, Usakhe Productions, to be thriving.” To get there, she has to stay on top of her self-care approach. “I know that to work at this rate, I have to take good care of myself otherwise my body will give up on me. I try to eat really well and that’s mainly because I want my sons to eat well. When there’s no fruit in the house, they ask ‘how mama?’, especially when there are no bananas or strawberries. We also take plenty of walks and hikes, which keep me in shape and is a family bonding exercise. Every day I tell myself, today is the day that I will go to gym but that doesn’t happen very often,” she giggles. Even with the missed days at the gym and weekends dedicated to work, Thembisa is smiling and celebrating her story. “My life is a charmed one and that’s all because of God. I’ve learnt to be silent so He can speak and that is what I intend to keep on doing.” E

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“I want to be an amazing mother; that means becoming a better version of myself. I want to be an impeccable performer, be untouchable with my art while being an industry leader.” ess ays of A fric a

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THE KEY TO BEING FREE You may think you are free, but it’s only when we learn what true freedom means that we can determine if we are living free lives. And sometimes this realisation necessitates us having to break the shackles that restrict us.

reedom is necessary for selfimprovement. And, yes, freedom can simply mean the ability to do as you please, but it can also represent more than that; therefore, the idea of living a free life is not always the same for everyone. “Freedom for an adult can mean different things to different people,” explains Warren Munitz, founder of Integrative Life Coaching. “We could define freedom as an awareness and capacity to make our own choices. We can also say that freedom is a state of mind; that no matter what our circumstances, we are always free, even if we are physically incarcerated in some way. Our minds are free; we have only to realise this and claim it.”

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Executive life coach, Katlego Kolobe, says that we become increasingly free as we grow up and start to develop the ‘authentic self’. “Mostly, adults become free when they recognise that the biggest barriers to their freedom are in their own minds; in thoughts about themselves and the world. The ability to make choices that serve you as an authentic being is key to real freedom,” Kolobe explains.

“Mostly, adults become free when they recognise that the biggest barriers to their freedom are in their own minds; in thoughts about themselves and the world.” essays of A frica

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SELF-EMPOWERMENT EOA Part of that process of gaining a sense of freedom involves getting to grips with that great cliché; with great freedom comes great responsibility. “When we realise that only we are accountable for our choices, that is the moment that we realise that freedom comes with the price of responsibility,” says Munitz. “If we accept that freedom is the awareness of our responsibility for the choices we make, and to holding ourselves accountable, then maintaining freedom is critical to living a life that leads to harmony.”

“When we realise that only we are accountable for our choices, that is the moment that we realise that freedom comes with the price of responsibility.” THEY CAN NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM! If the goal is to live with freedom, it’s important to understand the things that could threaten our sense of being free. “The most common barrier to freedom is the inability to recognise that freedom is a state of being,” says Kolobe. “Added to this threat to your freedom is the fear of making authentic choices, which may not always seem to align with social norms.” Being free means knowing in your mind that you are free, that you can make your own choices, despite what is happening around you. It’s sticking to your true self, no matter what, and making choices in line with that. And you should, because when your freedom is threated, Munitz says you may experience feelings of anger, sadness, despair and betrayal. If you’re feeling like you’re losing your freedom, here’s how to get it back…

WORDS: KIM GARNER. IMAGE: KRISHSURROY.COM

…AT WORK You might think that ultimate freedom would be not working at all. After all, isn’t being confined to deadlines and payslips somehow anti-freedom? Kolobe thinks not. “First of all, the number one freedom is recognising that no one has to do anything. There is no ‘have to’. You may choose to work. Now, if you are willing to recognise that you choose to work, how does that change things for you regarding your circumstance? How much more powerful do you feel?” she asks. If you want more freedom in your career, consider your choices. “If you hit a glass ceiling because of your gender or race, what can you do? The choices are yours. The responsibility is yours.” If work feels constraining, consider doing something you love and are passionate about. Or, hold a meeting with your boss and colleagues, explaining your point of view in the open.

…IN LOVE It can be incredibly difficult in a relationship when you feel like your freedom is being taken away. Sure, you’re in a partnership, but you’re still you. “When we

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have a partner that supports us in our strengths and vice versa, then we have a relationship that is geared towards mutual freedom and love,” says Munitz. If you don’t feel supported and able to grow on your own, you need to speak up. “Communication is key. If you keep your feelings and thoughts bottled up and don’t deal with it appropriately, then relationships are bound to break down. Breakdowns aren’t necessarily a problem, as they often lead to open communication. However, we can avoid catastrophic breakdowns by keeping an open channel of communication with our partners. Expressing yourself and not supressing your feelings lead to greater freedom.”

…IN YOUR BODY Your body and mind are two of your greatest weapons when it comes to your freedom. Keeping yourself healthy and happy will give you greater options when it comes to choosing what you can do with your body. “The most important element of a healthy body is a healthy mind,” says Munitz. “Create space in your day for quiet reflection and meditation. Complement that with regular exercise at least five times a week and remember to support yourself with good nutrition.” But freedom in your body is also about taking control, and owning who you truly are. Between the constant fat shaming and victim blaming, it’s difficult not to think that our bodies somehow belong to the world. But they don’t. Knowing that you have the power to use your body however you please – and to deal with the responsibility of that – will allow you to have greater freedom in your body.

“Between the constant fat shaming and victim blaming, it’s difficult not to think that our bodies somehow belong to the world. But they don’t. Knowing that you have the power to use your body however you please – and to deal with the responsibility of that – will allow you to have greater freedom in your body.” …IN MOTHERHOOD When women become mothers, often a sense of their own freedom is threatened. After all, you have a whole other person to look after – and that leaves little room for yourself. “Freedom in motherhood is like freedom in work and relationships. Yet the one difference is that being a mother is probably the one relationship where we absolutely are willing to do the work it takes to be generous, kind, compassionate, vulnerable, and accepting – all so the child learns to be free and fly in life,” explains Kolobe. She continues, “We can use motherhood as a powerful reminder of our strengths and then leverage that in all other spheres of our life.” In motherhood, freedom is awareness of your role. “To be free as a mother, you must start by being conscious of yourself, your power and your intentions as a parent.” E

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FRIENDS Living paycheck to paycheck? Spending all of your savings in one big splurge? Like it or not, your friends may be influencing the ways in which you spend and save your cash.

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MONEY EOA

“Problems can arise, however, when one friend is in a different social stratum to you, or going through a tough financial time.” e all know the old saying ‘no man is an island’, right? We live interconnected lives with work commitments, family life and friendships constantly overlapping and influencing our choices. And just as our friends can impact our romantic relationships, so too can they influence our finances and how we manage our rands and cents. The choices we make – from the types of cars we drive and the neighbourhoods we live in, to the gyms we join – are often influenced by our friends and their choices. And our financial choices are no exception. Financial guru, Clive Ramathibela Smith of Clivera Inc., agrees that friends can play a major part in the ways in which we save and spend money, particularly in the upwardly mobile circles of South Africa. “That saying of ‘show me your friends and I’ll know who you are’ certainly applies in this situation,” says Ramathibela Smith. “Having a close circle of friends, with people upon whom you can trust and rely, is crucial,” he states. “Problems can arise, however, when one friend is in a different social stratum to you, or going through a tough financial time.”

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

PEER PRESSURE According to a Brown University study, when a close friend or relative gets divorced, it dramatically increases your own chances of splitting with a partner. Unhealthy habits, like indulging in a piece of decadent cake at a restaurant or skipping that gym session, are also infectious behaviour among friends. So it stands to reason that bad financial habits can be just as influential. Last year the American Institute of CPAs and the Ad Council found that 78 percent of young adults aged 25 to 34 used their friends’ financial habits to determine their own. In fact, the majority agreed that they experience pressure to keep up with their peers on everything from the kind of tech gadgets they carry, to where they go out to eat – regardless of whether they can afford it. Financial institutions have become increasingly aware of this phenomenon, with some lenders going so far as to look

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at the credibility and financial situation of your friends on Facebook when running a credit report. Whilst we’re not advocating that you clean out your friends’ list just yet, it is important to be aware of how your friends may be influencing your spending habits. “Toxic friendships can impact our personal lives and finances too,” says Clive.

FINANCIAL PITFALLS Protect yourself from the potential pitfalls that can arise from your social circle. 1. Socialising: Social activities with your friends often involve spending money. For example, eating out, meeting for drinks, enjoying a shopping spree, or attending a social outing such as a comedy show or movie. While there’s nothing wrong with spending money on entertainment, it can quickly get out of hand. Friends may not realise they’re putting financial pressure on you, especially if they don’t budget like you do. What to do: Try suggesting low-cost (or no-cost) alternatives. If your friends want to dine out, choose a restaurant you know you can afford – or suggest a dinner at home with everyone contributing. Try a picnic or a scenic walk instead of sipping on overpriced cappuccinos at that trendy coffee shop. And if you do join them for cocktails or coffee, create a self-imposed spending limit by taking some cash with you – note, however, this course of action will only work if you leave your credit card behind. If you don’t have the money with you, you can’t spend it. Makes sense, right?

friends aren’t intentionally pressuring you to spend, their habits can be ‘contagious’ – especially if you already have a weakness for overspending. What to do: Be honest with your friends about how their spending habits are affecting you. It can be a tough call to make, but distancing yourself from these types of friends can be the difference between having control of your finances and excessive debt that could lead to financial ruin.

THE COST OF FRIENDSHIP If you’re frequently bailing a friend out of bad decisions and lending them money they never return, you may be losing more than your financial reputation. While it’s only natural to help a friend who’s down and out, lending them money or co-signing a loan for them won’t necessarily help them learn from their mistakes and establish better habits. What to do: If your friends are costing you financial discipline, reputability and money, you need to give them an ultimatum. If you’re good with handling money, sit them down and teach them what you know. Offer resources for money management classes or a financial adviser that can help them get back on track and break bad habits. Whatever you do, don’t let finances cause your friendships to sour. Help those that can be helped, but don’t neglect to protect yourself.

HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS “When it comes to your finances, have

“’Keeping up with the iPhoneses’ can make you feel inadequate and put unnecessary strain on your budget.” 2. Temptation and friends: If you have friends who are always showing off their newest gadget or latest pair of designer shoes, it can indicate a spending problem. ‘Keeping up with the iPhoneses’ can make you feel inadequate and put unnecessary strain on your budget. Even if your

the courage to act independently, making smarter choices and exercising prudence where your friends may be more reckless,” advises Ramathibela Smith. “Look towards those who can be your mentors,” he adds. Surrounding yourself with people who are financially savvy and astute will go a long way. E

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RELATIONSHIP DETOX

You may already be an expert at detoxing your body, but what about purging to promote emotional well-being and healthy relationships? oxic relationships, which are defined as unhealthy patterns of relating with others, take a toll on your emotional wellbeing and can affect your psychological and physical health. So is it possible to enhance your overall well-being by taking stock of all your relationships, and purging yourself of the ones that are toxic? Clinical psychologist, Dr Teboho Monyamane, says it is. But first, how do you know if you are in a toxic relationship? Dr Monyamane advises, “Pay attention to how you feel in relation to the other person in the relationship. Do you feel more energised and happy with limited contact? And on the flipside more exhausted, anxious or unhappy when you are in contact

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with them? These are signs that you could be stuck in a toxic relationship.” These relationships are often emotionally draining. “Some of the signs include some of the following patterns: criticism and contempt, manipulation, angst, avoidance, negativity, bullying behaviour, abuse of power, passive-aggression, and drama,” explains Dr Monyamane. “If your relationship has one or more of these behaviours as a recurring theme, you might be in a toxic relationship.” It’s important to note that toxic relationships and their effects are not only applicable to romantic relationships. They can also manifest in friendships and in relationships with family and colleagues too.

PLAN TO PURGE Once you’ve confirmed that you are in a toxic relationship, Dr Monyamane says it’s essential to determine why you are

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WORDS: HELEN HERIMBI. IMAGE: SPIRITSCIENCEANDMETAPHYSICS.COM.

“… toxic relationships and their effects are not only applicable to romantic relationships. They can also manifest in friendships and in relationships with family and colleagues too.” still maintaining it. She also advises to get professional help from a psychologist if you are having any difficulty figuring out why you continue to invest in this relationship. “Boundaries are important in relationships, and in toxic relationships, even more so. Know what your boundaries are and clearly establish them,” Dr Monyamane says. “Some toxic relationships can change and function better, but for this to happen, you need to create some distance and boundaries. This might mean seeing or speaking to the person less frequently, and establishing the boundaries of what you are and are not comfortable with.” This distance, whether permanent or temporary, depends on the nature of the relationship. For example, it may not be practical to completely cut ties with a colleague but, explains Dr Monyamane, it is of utmost importance that you are clear about whether your decision is to try and salvage the relationship, or to distance yourself completely. “It depends on the particular dynamics that are at play,” the doctor explains. “Look at the patterns that are playing out in the relationship and the extent of the toxicity.” When you have decided to continue the relationship, make your boundaries clear and be aware that you’ve made the decision to continue the relationship. Be clear about the behaviours you are willing to accept and those you are not willing to endure any longer. With colleagues, it might not be easy or possible to end the relationship, so appropriate boundaries need to be set and, where possible, some distance can be created.

THE HARD CHATS Practically, this means that you are going to have to address the toxic friend, colleague or lover directly in order for them to know how their treatment of you has been affecting you. This open dialogue may prove to be fruitless as some people may not take responsibility for the part they play in this relationship dynamic. But this is just one of the consequences that Dr Monyamane says you must prepare for.

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“People will not always understand why you are creating the distance or cutting ties with them,” she explains. “Others might be left feeling confused, angry or hurt. This largely depends on the nature of the relationship and the toxic dynamics at play. For example, if the dynamic in the relationship is that you experience the other person as being needy, demanding and always presenting themselves as a victim and unable to consider the needs of others, they may feel victimised and view your distance or cutting ties as punitive.”

“Some toxic relationships can change and function better, but for this to happen, you need to create some distance and boundaries.” However, it is important that you make the decision that is in your best interests. So once you have spotted the signs and realised that you’re on the receiving end of a relationship that you need to detox from, it is wise to stand your ground this time to avoid falling into the same patterns with this person or others in future.

WHEN YOU’RE THE TOXIC ONE

What if someone you love or deeply care for decides to cut ties with you? Dr Monyamane offers a few ways that will help you to cope with this situation. 1. Understand what each of your roles has been in creating and maintaining this toxic relationship. 2. Take ownership of your role. 3. You may not always understand what has happened or believe you had a role to play, but try to consider it in the context of other relationships you’ve had or still have. Check if there is a pattern and try to understand where that behaviour stems from. 4. If you need help, seek professional assistance from a psychologist or another person qualified in relationship counselling. E

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LET’S TALK ABOUT MALE SEX We wanted to know exactly what men thought about their sex lives, so instead of us guessing, men – married, single and in relationships – get real about what’s going (and what they wish was going on) in their bedrooms. a p ri l 2 0 1 6

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SEKWA* (30) Married On his sex life… I’m very happy with the state of my sex life. If I had to change anything, it would be making life less hectic so I can have more sex with my wife! Currently we have sex three times a week. But I’d like to have it five or more times a week. On improving things… I’d love to take things out of the bedroom, into the office, garden or car. On feeling insecure in the bedroom… Sometimes I know I’m being too self-conscious and worry about how she perceives me. I also worry about not making my wife climax. On getting turned on… I’m turned on by a safe, secure relationship. Of course, I also love an amazing body (hips, thighs, breasts mostly!). I love knowing that I am the man that can please her to the point of losing all control – that is really sexy.

On what’s sexy in a woman… I’m a guy; I will always like the physical attributes. My preference is fuller-figured women, with a big butt and hips. Outside of that, though, I like a woman’s confidence, heart and mannerisms. On not being in the mood… and being in the mood Sometimes I’m watching sport and it’s a really important game, so having sex at that moment isn’t top of my mind. At other times, work is hectic and I am very preoccupied. Sometimes, I’m just moody and don’t want to. After playing sport, I want sex and a lot of it. It’s going to go on for hours. In the morning I want sex too, but it’s going to be quick. On the female orgasm… For me it’s everything, otherwise what’s the point? My lady has to come first. I pride myself on that. I want her to feel like, ‘only my man can please me like that’, so it’s critical.

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SEX & INTiMaCY INTIMACY EOA On what women need to stop worrying about… ‘What does my body look like?’ ‘I haven’t showered.’ ‘I feel fat.’ We don’t care!

JAMES* (29)

WORDS: KIM GARNER. IMAGES: madamenoire.com.

Single On what he’d like more of in bed… Real communication. Good sex for me is cerebral. The purely physical stuff is awesome, but that coupled with some welltimed banter is really great. On what he could do without… I could have less of her hinting at things she likes. Rather just say what you like. I don’t pick up on hints. On getting turned on… I love a woman’s drive. I am drawn to ambitious women. On how often he’d like sex… If I’m dating someone, then I’d like it to be regular. It still needs to be spontaneous though. If I were to put a number on it, I’d say around three times a week (or more). On dirty talk… I’m not the biggest fan of it from either side. If it’s genuine then it works, but if it sounds forced, I find it very cringe-worthy.

MIKE* (30)

Eddie* (41)

In a relationship On frequency… We have sex a few times a week, but usually more on the weekends. I would say around four or five times a week. On what he wants more of… Initiative. I find myself always initiating sex and laying the groundwork. It would be nice to have my partner take control and dictate the terms of what happens in bed. On feeling insecure… I have a fear of rejection. I don’t like to repeatedly suggest sex, only to be told that the conditions aren’t right. This can be awkward and frustrating. On being turned on… A curvy and shapely body turns me on. She looks like a woman and I find that a big turn on. She’s also willing to try new things and can get just as excited about sex as I do. On foreplay… Foreplay can be enjoyable, but if the lovemaking process reads like a book, with foreplay being the first chapter, it can get old and dull. I like the idea of foreplay not having a script, and sometimes being skipped altogether when the passion is high. Throwing it in at the end or middle works too.

In a relationship On frequency… We have sex two to four times a week. I believe that I have a relationship where sexuality and its practice are always evolving. I’d like to have sex as often as my woman and I feel the spontaneity to thrash each other across the sheets. On what he finds sexy… A woman that owns her space as a woman. I also love her innocence and the way she looks at me from across a busy room. I love the way she needs nothing from me to be who she is. On not being in the mood… I can’t be in the mood if I’m tired. Making love is a work of art, not a hobby or daily work stamp. On porn… I think porn has had an effect on me – mostly negative. I believe the type of porn I watch, and South African males in general, is not realistic (of course) and therefore reaches outside of what would be a ‘normal’, healthy sex life. On her orgasm… Essentially, you are not making love if you don’t see your partner reach her climax. Anything less is glorified masturbation.

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Good sex for me is cerebral. The purely physical stuff is awesome, but that coupled with some welltimed banter is really where it’s at.

Mandla* (56) Married for 28 years On his sex life… I would describe it as good. We have sex on average twice a week. It used to be more but twice a week is perfect for us at this stage On what he’d like more of… I would like for sex to be more playful. We get very playful while on holiday, but we need to bring some of that home with us. Our sex is at its best when my wife is happy.

On being insecure… Getting older can be difficult because you don’t perform at the same level. I also worry about my body changing; having someone to go through these changes with me has helped me feel less insecure. On her orgasm… My wife and I have been lovers for a very long time but her orgasms still surprise me. She has different kinds at different times. People change and what keeps a sex life going is the knowledge that even though you know your lover, there are still new things to be discovered. E

If your man is keen, ask him to share his thoughts on sex with us. We'll post them on Facebook and keep him anonymous. E-mail us at zama@kwentamedia.com.

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PARENTING EOA

Around the time her boys, who are 14 months apart, hit their ‘terrible’ two’s and three’s, SAMEERAH KAROLIA found herself, sometimes desperately, searching for answers to the challenges she faced regarding her kids’ behaviour. Through Google she crossed paths with Emma Jenner who seemed to have all the solutions.

RAISING THE BAR FOR BEHAVIOUR ell known for her role in the reality TV show Take Home Nanny, Emma Jenner, a child development and behavioural specialist and formerly trained British nanny has 17 years experience under her belt. Jenner lives, teaches, and nannies by the philosophy: “If parents are in control, they can enjoy their children more. And what could be more enjoyable than well-behaved, respectful, healthy, thriving kids?” While that may be good in theory, most moms will tell you that it’s not always so simple. Moms continuously complain “My kids don’t listen, they don’t understand the word no, they only acknowledge me when I scream.” When we were growing up, just getting ‘the look’ was more than enough to scare us into behaving like perfect angels. So what’s changed since then? What are we doing wrong?

2. Go above and beyond to make our kids happy, almost always putting their needs first. 3. Fail to set boundaries and follow through with consequences. 4. Don’t place enough emphasis on instilling good manners. 5. Give in to children’s demands way too easily. 6. Defend bad behaviour instead of rectifying it.

COMMON MISTAKES TODAY’S PARENTS MAKE

1. Communication  Use simple language, keeping instructions brief.  Use a calm yet firm tone, especially if your child isn’t listening.

Jenner believes that parents today: 1. Act more like friends than parents, relinquishing parental power.

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YOU DON’T HAVE TO REINVENT THE WHEEL Fortunately you don’t need a PhD in psychology to get your little ones to behave like little ladies and gents according to Jenner’s guilt-free approach to parenting. If it’s good behaviour you want, you need to start implementing the four C’s: Communication, Choices, Consequences and Consistency.

 Get the child’s attention and make eye contact before communicating with them.  Communicate expected behaviour ahead of time.  Say ‘yes’ more than ‘no’. Instead of saying, “no, you can’t eat a cupcake before lunch,” say “sure, you can have one after lunch.”  Communicate fully and don’t assume children know what you are talking about.  Stop asking and start telling, e.g. instead of saying, “Can you stop throwing your toys?” say “Stop throwing your toys!”  Avoid tantrums by giving five-minute warnings. “You can watch TV for five more minutes and then it is bath time.”  Wait for the child to be calm before communicating with them.  Encourage children to use their words instead of whining or crying.  Point out wrong behaviour; explain to your child why they should not do that and then warn them of the consequences should they continue and let them make a choice. If they continue, implement the consequences immediately.  If you want children to listen to you the first time you speak, don’t repeat yourself!

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3. Consequences Consequences must relate directly to what your child is doing at the time, stresses Jenner. “If your child is throwing toys, the consequence is losing the toys. It’s an instant natural consequence that teaches a very valuable lesson.” 4. Consistency Children need to know that you mean what you say. “If you tell your child no, but after they persist with repeated requests and perhaps even a tantrum you give in, then you lose parental power.”

MAINTAINING CONSISTENCY ACROSS ALL SPHERES “Kids will try to act out when they are away from home, especially if you are more likely to let things go because you are in public,” says Jenner. For this reason expectations of behaviour should be the same regardless of where you are. “As soon as you set boundaries and you’re consistent children will stop testing you so much.” Implementing the four C’s makes it easier to maintain consistency as it can be implemented anywhere, in front of anybody. “Don’t be afraid to draw the line in public,” adds Jenner. “Remember you are the better parent for doing so and if people look at you disapprovingly, then who cares.” According to Jenner it is up to parents to set the stage for behaviour. “When we set the bar so low how can we achieve greatness? Why should children listen and respect us if we ourselves don’t expect it and demand it?”

UNIQUE CHALLENGES FOR SOUTH AFRICAN MOTHERS While Jenner’s advice is invaluable, South African moms also have cultural challenges to contend with. Jenner tackles some of these challenges: 1. Too many cooks spoil the broth In Indian families everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should discipline your children. Farnaaz Moosa* (29) from Lenasia, a stay-at-home-mom to three boys, often feels frustrated by society’s expectations on her to

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“If you want children to listen to you the first time you speak, don’t repeat yourself!” be the ‘perfect mother.’ “This sometimes stresses me out so much that I seem to block out my mother sense.” “I want to give mums back their power and encourage them to take a stand. They are the parent and it’s up to them to follow their instinct in how to best raise their children. No parent is perfect, and no parent ever has been. Decide what’s important for you and stand by it.” 2. Holding on to the way things were done in the past Older generations are not always open to newer ways of instilling discipline. Sikhanyisiwe Nyathi (30) is a mom of two who works in Johannesburg as a domestic worker. She says, “In African cultures grandmothers often feel insulted if you tell them how to raise your kids as they feel they did a good job raising their own children and don’t need advice raising their grandkids.” “Past generations are always going to have an opinion about the best way to raise children. It’s best not to insult other philosophies as they did what they thought was best, but it’s up to you how you want to raise your children and not be pressured into something that doesn’t feel right to you.” 3. Kids are way smarter than we give them credit for Raising children amongst extended family members who protect your kids when you try to instil discipline impacts the disciplinarian figure in the household, says Reyhana Akoojee* (31), mom of one and an Actuary from Durban. Stay-at-home mom, Shazia Mether* (28) from Witbank, who has a four-year-old daughter, says “Every time I try to instil discipline in my daughter, my dad steps in and says, ‘come to Nana, mummy is naughty!’” “Children know who they can wrap around their finger, so it’s one thing if the grandparents expected different behaviour but the fact they’re undermining the parents is a disaster. Children know they can behave however they like because the grandparents will save them. Together parents need to decide on what is important to them and they need to communicate this with the other family members.”

EDUCATION AS A POWER TOOL Some South African mothers did not receive an education, or they only received a basic education whilst growing up. and will go to the ends of the earth to give their own children an education. Howeverm sometimes this education is used against them. Joyce Kumalo*, a saleslady and mom-of-two from Johannesburg, says it is not uncommon for kids to manipulate their parents by claiming it is their right to do certain things and often threaten to call social services. Those mothers who don’t know any better usually fall victim to these threats and out of fear let them do as they please. “Children all over the world threaten their parents with calling social services. The best response is to call their bluff. Perhaps it may be a good idea to work on educating parents through school newsletters and workshops. I’m sure schools would get involved; better parenting will only help the teachers provide a better education. * Names has been changed for purposes of this article.

TIPS FROM OTHER MOMS:

 It is easier to stand up to one’s own parents than it is to in-laws. For that reason, moms should stand their ground with their family whilst dad stands his with his family.  When my kids try to play me up against anyone I go to them, bend down and say, “let me tell you a secret in your ear.” I quickly remind them that I know exactly what they are doing and if they don’t stop there will be consequences.  Sometimes try asking the grandparents to do the disciplining instead of breaking your head. “Gramps? Today they are really not listening to me, will you please have a chat with them?”

Emma Jenner’s book Keep Calm And Parent on: A Guilt-Free Approach To Raising Children By Asking More From Them And Doing Less (Atria Books) is available online and at all good book stores. E

WORDS: SAMEERAH KAROLIA. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, AND SUPPLIED.

2. Choices Choices empower children, making them feel like they have some control over their lives, says Jenner. “Do, however, limit them to two choices. For example: ‘Would you like to wear the blue pants or the green dress today?’ ”

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SPIRITUAL HEALTH In the quest for well-being and balance, we often forget that cultivating spiritual health is as important as physical exercise and mental fitness. EOA takes a look at four powerful spiritual practices that can enable you to live your best life. 1. MINDFULNESS MEDITATION What is it? Honed by Japanese monks over a thousand years ago, meditation is no longer the domain of spiritual gurus and Zen masters. Practised by everyone from Oprah to Tina Turner, the art of mindfulness is one of the simplest, yet most powerful tools to integrate in your daily routine. Mindfulness meditation trains the brain to release fear, anxiety and other negative emotions. This lessens stress and boosts the immune function, as thoughts and emotions actively shape our brains, for better or worse. MRIs reveal that even eight weeks of mindfulness meditation creates structural changes in the brain’s functioning and alarm system.

“… the art of mindfulness is one of the simplest, yet most powerful tools to integrate in your daily routine.” Benefits Practised daily, mindfulness meditation can effectively reduce depression, anxiety and pain. Studies have revealed it to be beneficial for general psychological health and stress management, where it has even been used to combat maladies such as asthma, obesity, diabetes, hypertension, PMS and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Get started There is a multitude of ways and means to meditate, whether from the comfort of your living room or in a guided class. If you’d prefer starting the exercise at home, try out a mindfulness app on your smartphone. Perfect for beginners and experienced practitioners

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alike, The Mindfulness App is a great tool for increasing your awareness in life. It comes with a series of guided meditations of varying lengths, with an experienced teacher as your guide, as well as silent and personalised meditations with bells to keep you focused. If you’d prefer joining a class, check out the Kadampa Buddhist Centre (www.meditation.org.za), with branches in Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town. The centre holds daily and weekly meditation classes at a minimal fee.

2. CONNECT WITH NATURE What is it? Research reveals that different environments can increase or reduce stress, which in turn impacts on bodies. The stress of an unpleasant environment can cause you to feel anxious, sad or helpless, which can suppress your immune system. A pleasing environment reverses that. And regardless of age or culture, humans find nature pleasing.

Benefits Studies show that connecting with nature can decrease the risk of anxiety and depression. Exposure to nature not only makes you feel better emotionally, it contributes to your physical wellbeing, reducing blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension and the production of stress hormones. Research done in hospitals, offices and schools has found that even placing a plant in a room can have a significant impact on stress and anxiety. In addition, nature helps us cope with pain. Because we are genetically programmed to find trees, plants, water, and other nature elements engrossing, we are absorbed by nature scenes and distracted from our pain and discomfort. What’s more, time spent in nature connects us to each other and the larger world.

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health EOA

“Freeing yourself from the distractions constantly begging for your attention will help you become fully aware of what’s happening around you…”

Benefits Sound is a viable medium to address distress, increase immunity, treat insomnia and enhance learning. Certain sound waves have been designed to help people recover from a stroke or surgery, deal with chronic pain, or become more relaxed while undergoing chemotherapy. Sound therapy is an effective tool to use on cognitive functioning deficits, stress, headaches and premenstrual syndrome. Get started The ancient treatment of Tibetan sound therapy is available at certain spas and healing centres around the country. The Saxon Boutique Hotel and Spa in Jo’burg, for example, uses a combination of Tibetan singing bowls, gongs and bells in their signature healing therapy. If that’s too lavish for you, simply download a sound therapy app to use at bedtime for the deepest of sleeps.

4. MANTRAS What is it? Mantras and chanting are proven tools for spiritual wellbeing. Researchers at McGill University in Montreal recently reviewed 400 studies and found that chanting in any form boosts psychological health by activating brain chemicals responsible for reward, motivation, pleasure and immunity.

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGE: ©ISTOCK.COM.

Benefits Simply chanting ‘ohm’ can counteract depression and anxiety, as it releases oxytocin and endorphins. Chanting sacred words can help you to feel more balanced, adjusting and rejuvenating your entire endocrine and immune system.

Get started Go for a walk or find a quiet bench outdoors where you can sit and take in the sights and sounds. Be it your local park, the botanical gardens or even a leafy neighbourhood, anything in nature will do – but leave your tech devices behind. Freeing yourself from the distractions constantly begging for your attention will help you become fully aware of what’s happening around you – a colourful bird, trees rustling in the wind, or even yourself.

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3. SOUND THERAPY What is it? Sound work has been used as a healing technique for thousands of years, and is currently on the frontiers of modern neuroscience. The power of sound is such that a frequency or vibration can be created that is conducive to healing. Sound therapy uses binaural beats to synch brainwaves in both hemispheres, culminating in a more relaxed, focused state of being.

Get started Any word or phrase can be a mantra, but positive ones can help reframe and retrain your thoughts. Pick a mantra, then close your eyes and inhale slowly. Hold your breath and keep the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth – a practice that activates an acupressure point that’s believed to stimulate energy and balance the nervous system. Say your mantra three times slowly, exhale, and repeat. This works particularly well whenever you’re stressed or angry. E

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CRY FREEDOM

As South Africa celebrates 22 years of democracy this Freedom Day, EOA highlights the countries on the continent that will also be celebrating their hard-fought freedom and independence from colonialist rule this month. SENEGAL Independence Day: 4 April This April marks 56 years of freedom in Senegal, with the country having gained its independence from France during the liberation movement that swept the continent during the 1950s and ’60s. France colonised Senegal in the mid-17th century,

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while the Portuguese, English and Dutch had their hands in the mix before then. Senegal and the French Sudan were granted independence simultaneously in 1960, and were named the Federation of Mali. Just four months later, however, the two former colonies decided to form independent nations,

with the respected philosopher and poet, LĂŠopold SĂŠdar Senghor, elected as the first president of independent Senegal. Regarded as one of the most important African intellectuals of the 21st century, Senghor introduced his brand of Pan-Africanism and socialism to the country.

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NEWS REPORT EOA to mark Independence Day in Sierra Leone, as the country was battling the worst Ebola epidemic in history. Almost 4 000 deaths had been registered in a year, with thousands of new Ebola cases arising each week. “Today, we cannot celebrate our independence as we used to, as the nation is in mourning,” President Ernest Bai Koroma said in a nationwide televised address to mark the country’s 54th anniversary of freedom. He added that the government would set aside a national day of thanksgiving to honour the victims of the epidemic, which claimed over 11 000 lives in Sierra Leone, Liberia and Guinea.

Fed Up And Fighting More recently, Senegal was shaken by the Y’en a Marre (‘Fed Up’) protest movement, which formed in opposition to the attempts of ex-president, Abdoulaye Wade, to remain in power for a third term. Led by Senegalese artists, activists and journalists, Y’en a Marre was particularly influential in garnering voter interest among the youth during the 2012 elections. In a country where 70 percent of the population is under the age of 30, the movement caught fire quickly. After 12 years of corruption and nepotism, high food and gasoline prices, constant power outages and schools shuttered because of striking teachers, the constitutional crisis became the last straw. With more people voting in this election than ever before in the history of independent Senegal, they elected Macy Sall, a candidate who ran on an election promise of reform and anti-corruption. Independence Day The country celebrates its freedom with festivities around the nation, culminating in a grand parade and festival in the capital city, Dakar. Dignitaries, artists and leaders from around the world attended the 50th Anniversary of Independence and a statue in celebration of the African Renaissance was unveiled in the capital city. Though President Sall has delivered on many of his reform promises, members of the Y’en a Marre movement remain unsatisfied. Yet the role of youth in shaping the future of their country brings hope to the nation, as they uphold Senegal’s democratic freedom that was won in 1960.

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SIERRA LEONE Independence Day: 27 April After more than 150 years of British colonial rule, Sierra Leone won its independence in 1961. The new nation was born at the stroke of midnight, with a huge crowd gathered in Freetown to watch the historic moment unfold. They broke into joyous cheering as the green, white and blue flag was proudly unfurled. Its peaceful transition to independence and freedom became threatened in 1992, when a war broke out in neighbouring Liberia, which rapidly sucked Sierra Leone in as well. Ten years of fighting ensued that was marked by atrocities and punishments to terrorise civilians. Peace was finally brokered in early 2002, with a war crimes court set up to try those who bore the greatest responsibility for the wartime brutalities. Ebola Scourge Last year, there were no festivities

55 Years Of Liberation This year is a significant one for Sierra Leone, as it celebrates 55 years of independence as well as freedom from the plagues of Ebola and civil war. Festivities will abound in Freetown and throughout the nation’s major cities, with the annual Independence ball being revived as a starstudded affair. Yet last year serves as a reminder of not only the dire costs of an epidemic outbreak, but restrictions on freedom imposed by the government. The government used emergency regulations brought in to combat Ebola as a pretext to restrict freedom of expression. Fifteen people were arrested and dozens injured in the city of Kenema following a protest by the main opposition party on Independence Day. Many people were arrested throughout the year under state-of-emergency provisions prohibiting public gatherings. With elections due to take place next year, it remains to be seen whether power will remain intact for the All People’s Congress, or if citizens will look for a change of guard in the Sierra Leone People’s Party.

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“27 April was the culmination of years of struggle. This month marks 22 years of freedom, with the holiday serving as a reminder that freedom requires an active citizenry, working towards wiping out the legacy of racism and inequality.” ZIMBABWE

TOGO Independence Day: 27 April One of the smallest countries in Africa, Togo won its independence from France in 1960, with the colonial force having taken it from German rule after World War 1. A major trading centre on The Slave Coast, Togo endured centuries of its population being decimated by Europe’s slave trade. Coup D’état In 1967, Gnassingbé Eyadéma led a successful military coup to become president. At the time of his death in 2005, Eyadéma was the longestserving leader in modern African history, having ruled the country with an iron fist for 38 years. Under the Togolese constitution, the president of the parliament should have become president of the country, pending a new election to be called within 60 days. With an engineered power vacuum, parliament voted to remove the constitutional clause and declared that Eyadéma’s son, Faure Gnassingbé, would inherit the presidency and hold office for the rest of his father’s term.

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The African Union (AU) described the takeover as a military coup d’état, with riots and uprisings taking place across the country. Regardless, Gnassingbé was elected President of Togo after receiving 60 percent of the vote in national elections. He won re-election in 2010, with electoral fraud suspected in both elections. Freedom Day Last year’s Independence Day celebrations were marred by allegations of vote rigging and fraud, as the country waited for election results to be announced. Having done away with term limits, Gnassingbé won for a third time. Despite widespread protests, regional monitors and observers from the AU declared the vote to be ‘free and transparent’. Few of the roughly seven million people in Togo have felt the benefit of its recent economic growth, with unemployment rife among the youth. Economic freedom is vital for democracy to thrive in this tiny nation, which shares its Freedom Day with South Africa and Sierra Leone.

Independence Day: 18 April In the months running up to its independence day in 1980, a series of remarkable events occurred in a country that had been oppressed for decades by an illegal, racist regime. This included the largest recorded outbreak of anthrax at the hands of the Rhodesian Front, with biological and chemical weapons from South Africa’s own ‘Dr Death’, Wouter Basson; and assassination attempts on the lives of those at the helm of the liberation struggle, including Robert Mugabe, a freedom fighter not unlike Nelson Mandela, who had spent more than a decade in prison. Yet despite the nasty injustices by the Rhodesian Government and its uninhibited war against the population, freedom had finally arrived. Bob Marley, one of the world’s most famous musicians whose potent lyrics had inspired the guerrilla forces fighting for freedom during the years of Chimurenga, accepted an invitation to perform at Zimbabwe’s independence celebrations. Having paid his own way to Harare, travelling with his band and 21 tons of equipment, Bob Marley came on stage moments after the Union Flag had fallen for the last time on the African continent. He sang to a packed stadium, opening with his song dedicated to the liberation uprising, Zimbabwe. In that moment, he captured the essence of freedom. Economic Catastrophe Since winning the country’s first democratic election and immediately calling for racial reconciliation, President Mugabe has since turned this story into one of economic catastrophe, with Zimbabwe facing extreme inflation and widespread unemployment. The 93-year-old president has fostered

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NEWS REPORT EOA SOUTH AFRICA Freedom Day: 27 April Freedom Day commemorates the day in 1994 when South Africa’s first democratic election was held. It marks the liberation of South Africa from over 300 years of colonialism, segregation and white minority domination. Freed from the oppressive, racist policies of apartheid, millions of South Africans could cast their votes for the first time.

a new constitution in 2013, yet the country’s laws have yet to be aligned with it. This has denied people some of the progressive human rights enshrined in the supreme law of the country. “The government must urgently repeal or amend all laws that are not in line with the constitution,” she recently stated. “It is ironic that while celebrating freedom from colonial rule, there has been a disturbing lack of progress in establishing the whereabouts of Itai Dzamara who ‘disappeared’ without a trace,” she added.

More work to be done This month marks 22 years of freedom, with the holiday serving as a reminder that freedom requires an active citizenry, working towards wiping out the legacy of racism and inequality. E

WORDS: CARYN THANDI PETERSEN. IMAGES: PUBLISHYOURARTICLES.NET, PIXABAY.COM.

an atmosphere of fear and political suppression, with few having the courage to voice their dissent. This month marks 36 years of independence for Zimbabwe. Weeks before the country’s Independence Day celebrations last year, human rights activist Itai Dzamara was abducted by suspected state security agents. A year later, he has yet to be returned to his family, with no word on his whereabouts. As pointed out by Amnesty International’s deputy director for Southern Africa, Muleya Mwananyanda, Zimbabwe adopted

The First Vote This day, 27 April 1994, was the culmination of years of struggle for emancipation and equality. Almost 20 million South Africans voted in the 1994 national election, with queues snaking through towns, farms, cities, suburbs and communities across the entire country. “As dawn ushered in this day, few of us could suppress the welling up of emotion, as we were reminded of the terrible past from which we come as a nation; the great possibilities that we now have; and the bright future that beckons us,” stated President Nelson Mandela on the first commemoration of the holiday.

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A LOGISTICAL LEADER No job has been too big or too menial for Nosipho Siwisa-Damasane. She now holds the title of being the first South African woman to operate a port and the world is taking notice. a p ri l 2 0 1 6

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PROFILE EOA A MODEST BEGINNING

“Nosipho attributes her successful career partly to having never taken a job that was bigger than her, while always being open to learning.”

The last of three children, Nosipho Siwisa-Damasane was born and raised in the humble surroundings of the Eastern Cape in Peddie. “I grew up being surrounded by love, with an emphasis on education,” she says. “My parents also instilled spiritual consciousness in me that kept my faith solid. The benefit of growing up in small villages and towns is that you are the child of the community and everyone has a say in how you behave.” Coming from a family that valued education, Nosipho pursued studies in Bachelor of Commerce in Accounting through the then University of Transkei after matriculating in 1986. After completing her articles, she worked in auditing for 10 years at Aitken and Peat, now KPMG, and Ernst and Young. “My parents are the ones who continuously motivated me to strive to get ahead in life through hard work,” Nosipho recalls, adding that her father was always the anchor in her family, her role model and hero. A teacher and author of Xhosa literature, he was a firm believer in doing things properly. Nosipho explains, “He ensured I was not cutting corners or shortchanging myself with quick wins. He inspired me to be the best I could be in everything I did.”

WORDS: BULELWA MOKORI. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY NOSIPHO SIWISA-DAMASANE.

CHARTING HER OWN COURSE

NOSIPHO SIWISA-DAMASANE

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Nosipho has held various managerial positions at Transnet Port Terminals since 2002 for Port Operations in Port Elizabeth and East London. She was the first female Port Manager in East London in 1998, before being appointed General Manager of Port Operations for the Eastern Cape terminals two years later. After gaining a further two years’ experience as General Manager in Outward Bound Supply Chain, and Sales, Logistics & Commerce, 2009 saw Nosipho being appointed Chief Operating Officer for Transnet Port Terminals, a position she held until her recent appointment at Richards Bay Coal Terminal (RBCT) in July 2012 as its first female Chief Executive Officer. Nosipho attributes her successful career partly to having never taken a job that was bigger than her, while always being open to learning. She adds that leadership within an African context, embedded in the ubuntu principles, also

inspires her as it ensures that she pushes for a collective success. “Logistics is my passion and port operations are my specialty. Every day when I wake up I am inspired to go and do what I enjoy. Other than that, I enjoy writing and presenting papers in the field of port operations, infrastructure development and skills development,” she shares. Nosipho has received several awards over the years, including the Most Influential Women in Shipping and Logistics South Africa and SADC South Region, and the 2015 Business Woman of the Year Award in the Corporate Category. She has no shortage of qualifications, but she says her biggest teacher so far has been life. “You get your fair share of blessings and there are setbacks that make you stronger. You learn that the balance between the two is a strength everyone needs,” Nosipho reflects. “I have had my fair share of challenges in life, but I value the fact that when you trip and fall, it’s about how fast you get up again. The ability to stand up in a positive attitude is a winning formula,” she asserts.

“I also like to mentor the youth, especially young girls who are determined to push themselves beyond their limits.” LOOKING AHEAD Nosipho is also a motivational speaker who loves to share her stories and she is involved in community upliftment projects. She has an orphanage in Port Elizabeth and has formed a partnership with Transnet. “I also like to mentor the youth, especially young girls who are determined to push themselves beyond their limits,” she says. “If I were to retire I would work directly with the youth and assist them in terms of developing their businesses.” Nosipho describes her business philosophy as being a consultative leader, which goes handin-hand with the servant-leadership approach, and ensuring success by striking a balance between internal and consultative leadership. E

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THE WORLD IS YOUR STAGE

Determination for community development and an expertise in the communications and marketing field has enabled Thulisile Galelekile to positively impact employment creation, skills development and training of the marginalised. She shares her journey with EOA. hen Umlaziborn Thulisile Galelekile (40) was growing up, she dreamt of being an actress and a life in the spotlight. The fifth of six children, she was raised in a home where her mother was a big source of inspiration. “She always taught me to do the best that I can and that went a long way,” says Thuli. After she matriculated, Thuli studied Bachelor of Commerce in Marketing at the University of KZN. Her childhood dream of

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being an actress was set aside, but she wasn’t very worried. “There is a lot of creativity in marketing. You have to come up with creative concepts, like introducing roadshows, as well as industrial theatre. My creative side was still stimulated,” she says. Thuli’s first job was that of lecturing Marketing, Economics and Commercial Theory at a private college known as ICESA City Campus. “Lecturing was still an application of theory so in 1999 I decided to move to Unilever South Africa, where I worked for five years. It was a beginning of my practical career and the company exposed me to training, managerial skills and brand

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My JOURNEY EOA

“I am closely involved in the Imbokodo Iyazenzela programme, meaning women doing it for themselves, driven by Ithala to grow and reward women in small business in the province.” marketing management,” she explains. Feeling the need for a new challenge, Thuli then moved to IThala Development Finance Corporation (IDFC). “When I first arrived, the company did not have a formalised marketing department. I learnt how to set up a new department, including human resources and labour relations,” she recalls.

NOT WITHOUT HURDLES Like many career women, Thuli had to overcome certain barriers in the workplace. Luckily for her, she was not easily intimidated by working in a male-dominated industry. “I am an innovator, unafraid of the unknown and am willing to challenge the status quo. Also, I am determined to overcome any challenge,” she says. Thuli also attributes her success to being a self-driven person and having a fierce determination to be the best in everything she does in business. She finds routine in business a bore but she strongly believes that she has a career, not a job. “I continuously set out to do things differently, to be at the forefront of developing new ideas designed to better create public awareness of the organisation I represent and to market its products in a way which sets it apart from the clutter,” she says.

WORDS: BULELWA MOKORI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY THULI GALELEKILE.

“Through Ithala, [Thuli] has become a source of inspiration and hope for thousands of South African women who want to emerge as frontrunners in the dynamic and competitive world of business. CAREER ADVENTURE Thuli rejoined Ithala Development Finance Corporation, a KZNs provincial development finance agency in 2014, where she is the Divisional Manager in Group Communications and Marketing. This title hasn’t come without lessons along her journey. “At times throughout my career I would realise that I had made the wrong choices and but I was able to realise and acknowledge that. What kept me going was being able to accept my mistakes and do something about them,” she recalls. Thuli says her personal life goals are in tune with what she does in her job. Through Ithala, she has become a source of inspiration and

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hope for thousands of South African women who want to emerge as frontrunners in the dynamic and competitive world of business. “I believe that my personal goals are closely aligned with Ithala’s mandate to promote development within KwaZulu-Natal province, driving various initiatives aimed at empowering the youth and women, by providing them with access to vital information,” she states. Thuli says that her organisation has a 50-year legacy of promoting development and empowerment among the historically disadvantaged communities of KZN. “I am closely involved in the Imbokodo Iyazenzela programme, meaning women doing it for themselves, driven by Ithala to grow and reward women in small business in the province. The programme is a series of interactive business breakfasts intended to empower women with the necessary skills, knowledge and opportunities to enable their dreams and to motivate them to tread on uncharted territory.”

LIVING BY DESIGN Even though Thuli is excelling on the work front, she isn’t doing so at the expense of the rest of her life. She is a married mother of two and being present in those roles has meant putting certain boundaries in place. “I never take work home, even my colleagues know that,” says Thuli. Over time she had to learn the art of delegation; something that allows her to do other things she loves. Other things that she prioritises include travelling with her family, going to gym, running and boot camping. “In order for there to be a balance between family and career, sacrifices have to be made and I have learnt that.” Besides being a community developer, Thuli also runs her own business, Orchida Florist, with the help of her mother. “I am looking forward to growing the business, as it is my passion. So far we have been actively marketing and networking for business and this resulted in us acquiring clients whom we supply with floral arrangements on a weekly basis,” she says. Even though her actress dreams never materialised, Thuli believes that the world is a stage and it is up to each person to make decisions about their future. She believes women have to be brave and seek information that will empower them to grow. She says they do not need to be ‘saved’ from their plight. “Grasp every opportunity that comes your way, stand up, rise, and you can become a better person so that you can get to a better place on your own. For too long, women have gone unnoticed, but now is the time for them to venture into all activities of their own choice, including businesses.” E

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otlalepule Mokhine spent 13 years of her life working in the various areas of human resources and her nurturing personality drives her to help people reach deep inside and explore ways to make the world a better place. As a member of Coaching and Mentoring Association of SA (Comensa), as well as the Meta Coaching Foundation (MCF), Mokhine’s work involves coaching individuals and teams, trauma debriefing and facilitating values clarification workshops, as well as team development workshops. “I speak to inspire others towards solutions that are inside of them,” she explains and admits that she also has a list of strong leaders that inspire her daily. “I study and listen to how they do success, how they navigate difficulties, and how they keep themselves going,” Mokhine adds. Most importantly, however, she admires the ‘ordinary people’ who just get on with life. For example, the mundane

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Sometimes the obstacles we face in life can be burdensome, but mentors like Motlalepule Mokhine from Temogo Consulting can ease the process of moving on. ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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WOMEN’S NETWORK EOA

task of leaving home before dawn to catch the first taxi or train to work motivates her. She says, “They are committed to making a difference, be it to their families, communities or the world.”

GET WOMEN MOVING According to Mokhine, one of the best ways to ease women into talking about the uncomfortable topics that affect their daily lives is to invite them to a meal. Good food and company loosens tongues, so a breakfast conversation provides the perfect setting for intimate sharing. With this in mind and the help of Nomvuyo Bengane, her friend and business partner, Mokhine initiated the ‘Get Moving’ network. The aim behind this venture is to get women to ‘move away’ from situations that limit or restrict them and move towards their happiness, be it making that important phone call, writing that book or running that marathon.

“The aim behind this venture is to get women to ‘move away’ from situations that limit or restrict them and move towards their happiness…”

COMPILED BY THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGE SUPPLIED BY MOTLALEPULE MOKHINE.

Mokhine elaborates, “We want to affirm ourselves all the time, say yes to life and educate each other, as well as identify concepts that block us from moving forward with a plan.” Get Moving focuses on difficult topics that many women are afraid to raise with their peers. The key word is fear, a major stumbling block in people’s lives. Fear can prevent you from going forward or leads you to doing the most unforeseen things. When you look into the force behind people’s actions, from criminal to addiction to family debt, you are bound to see fear rearing its ugly head. “We noticed that fear prevents us from living our lives the way God intended and we don’t develop ourselves,” Mokhine says, adding, “The topic has resonated with many women, each of whom has their own personal baggage to unpack.”

LESSONS LEARNT ALONG THE WAY In our efforts to have the good things in life, it is important to assess what has worked for us in the past and where we have failed, to avoid repeating these mistakes. Every person’s experience and interpretation of life is unique to them, but the ebb and flow of circumstances is a shared constant. We all embrace joyful times and face moments of despair or disappointment. Mokhine recalls a time when a venue had moved the network’s gathering to an alternative venue that they believed would be better suited. With little to no time to prepare

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for this change, they had to face the inevitable challenges head on and deal with them effectively. “When you make a mistake,” Mokhine says, “give yourself permission to learn from it and move on.” As a self-motivated, proactive woman, Mokhine advises that sound preparation and focus on the task or end goal will always set you apart from others who lack direction or enthusiasm. Regarding the unfolding of the network, she explains that instead of switching randomly to new topics, Get Moving chose to consolidate their existing methodology. This mindset has allowed them focus on matters that really resonate with the women at the networking breakfasts, and allow them to freely share their experiences and knowledge. Mokhine suggests that the best way to move forward is to treat every session as if it is a new one. “We don’t ride on past successes,” a mistake that many similar organisations seem to make. Keeping content fresh and appealing, as well as delivering added value, is a major challenge for the Get Moving network. However, constant reading and research, consultation, as well as implementing the valuable feedback from participants go a long way to keeping the network successful and relevant. When asked what Get Moving wants to achieve in 2016, Mokhine admits to her desire to see the network grow in size and strength. All those who are the driving force behind the network want to expand their executive coaching business and encourage more women to engage in the conversation to keep them moving. E

To find out more about Get Moving, you can e-mail Motlalepule Mokhine at temogo@telkomsa.net or vuvu.bengane@siyaphambili.com, or chat to her on her Facebook page: Temogo Consulting.

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WHY DO MALE FRIENDSHIPS HAVE A BAD REP? Admit it, boys’ nights out are not as freely welcomed as girls’ nights out, because of all the issues that are associated with a group of males getting together over a few beers. EOA looks at how important male friendships really are.

here are several adages about what ‘real men’ ought to do and behave like. Whether good or bad, most men’s behaviours stem from their relationships with their fathers, father figures and other men around them, such as their male friendships. These relationships are often under the spotlight when it comes to boys’ nights out. While women are encouraged to have some independence by spending QT (quality time) with their girlfriends, men are not given the same

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enthusiastic encouragement when it comes to a night at the local pub watching sports with their buddies. And often this is especially evident from the point of view of the man’s significant other. Clinical psychologist, Dr Teboho Monyamane, says it all boils down to gender roles and stereotypes that have developed in a society. She explains, “The problem is largely to do with what people associate with a boys’ night out. Whether it is socially or as depicted in movies, a boys’ night out is often associated with some sort of ‘wild’ behaviour. On the other hand, I believe people often associate a girls’ night out with some form of ‘tame’ behaviour, which is not necessarily the case.”

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MAN FEATURE EOA

FRIENDSHIPS COUNT Even if it’s not a night out on the town, male friendships can be a source of muchneeded positive bonding. Dr Monyamane says men absolutely need the friendship of the same sex. “It is important for men to have male friendships, just as it is important for women to have female friendships. Through relationships with other people, not only do we learn more about ourselves, but it also helps us to feel more connected to the world and to other people. Without friendships, you can feel lonely and disconnected, while sharing common interests with someone who accepts and listens to your point of view is really good for one’s well-being.” Reggie Sithole* agrees with this sentiment. As a father of a 12-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son, he has found that being around other men with similar interests helps him to be a much better friend to the mother of his son, compared to the mother of his daughter in the past. “When my daughter was born, there was a lot of animosity between me and her mother because the men I was hanging out with at the time had different priorities to mine. We would constantly fight about that.”

“… every man has the ability to identify positive influences in their lives and can choose to be a positive influence on others. By so doing, he takes the reins of his wellbeing into his own hands and thus becomes a walking, talking example to other men.” A RIPPLE EFFECT Dr Monyamane agrees that male bonds can help shape men to become better fathers and husbands, but that mostly depends on the individuals involved in these friendships. She adds, “I think this outcome depends on the nature of the friendship, and both individuals’ character and values they hold.” There are no hard and fast rules about how to become a responsible man, a good father or devoted husband. However, every man has the ability to identify positive influences in their lives and can choose to be a positive influence on others. By so doing, he takes the reins of his well-being into his own hands and thus becomes a walking, talking example to other men. It is when this happens that male bonds are most effective.

“Boys’ nights out still happen because my partner trusts that I am responsible and she can see that I surround myself with men who are responsible family men. She is happy to give me a ‘visa’ for the occasional night out with the guys.”

WORDS: HELEN HERIMBI. IMAGE: gaylifeafter40.com.

Then Sithole made some life-changing decisions. His new network of male friends helped him find a job with a good salary, which meant he could provide adequately for his children. His new job also put him in contact with established older businessmen, who were proud and attentive fathers. This inspired Sithole to play an active role in his family’s life. “I am very close with my son today,” Sithole says proudly, “and through my example I try to teach him what it means to be a good man, even though he is still young. My daughter is becoming a teenager, which is challenging. But by knowing how to be a father who pays attention, I think I am able to advise her. “Boys’ nights out still happen because my partner trusts that I am responsible and she can see that I surround myself with men who are responsible family men. She is happy to give me a ‘visa’ for the occasional night out with the guys.”

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GET YOUR VISA STAMPED

In popular culture, a visa or a pass is when a man’s partner agrees to a request to go out with his friends. But what if the occasional boys’ night out turns into more frequent stints of debauchery that lead to conflict in the relationship? Dr Teboho Monyamane has a few tips on how to deal with the situation: 1. Express yourself: As with any other conflict, it is important to explain what you don’t like about the situation. 2. Put your relationship first: Think not just about you, but also about how that friendship affects the relationship and how it makes your significant other feel. 3. Be specific: What did the boys’ night out or behaviour in the friendship trigger? Does it affect trust between you and your partner? Does it bring up issues around responsibility? E * Name has been changed for purposes of this article.

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Styled well, the sweats and white tee combo gives most men an air of effortless sex appeal.

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1. LONGER LENGTH TEE WITH SLITS, R299, MAPS XSPREE, SPREE. 2. SWEATSHORTS, R229, H&M. 3. RERIVE SWEATERPANTS, R2 299, G-STAR RAW. 4. TRAINERS, R299, H&M. 5. HOODED JACKET, R299, H&M. 6. SWEATPANTS, R599, H&M. 7. SWEATSHORTS, R549, COUNTRY ROAD, WOOLWORTHS. 8. STAN SMITH SNEAKERS, R1 199, ADIDAS, ZANDO. 9. BLACK SWEATPANTS, R2 999, TIGER OF SWEDEN. 10. SLEEP T-SHIRT, R59, MRP. 11. FLEECE TRACK PANTS, R129, RED, MRP. 12. WHITE HIGH TOP SNEAKERS, R5 899, TIGER OF SWEDEN. 13. EXPOSURE SNEAKERS (WHITE), R1 499, DIESEL, SPREE. 14. SPORTS GILET, R299, H&M. 15. HENLEY SHIRT, R149, H&M. 16. DROP CROTCH ZIP TRACK PANTS, R599, CONVERSE, ZANDO. 17. CLASSIC SS GOLFER (WHITE), R599, POLO, SPREE. 18. FLEECE SHORTS, R129, RED, MRP.

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MAKING IT

BIG

AS AN ENTREPRENEUR

DR JAMES MAKAMBA

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MAN Q&A EOA

Brought up and taught to respect his community and preserve tradition and culture, Dr James Makamba always gives his best to society.

Q Tell us about your life as an entrepreneur. I was always attracted to the idea of self-sufficiency from a young age. I formed a radio, sales, advertising and promotions production company at the age of 21 and this became my vehicle to a broadcasting career, which led me to become one of the black pioneers in TV production in Zimbabwe. I mostly associated with Zimbabwean businessmen, such as Tobias Musariri, Gordon Muchanyka, Paul Mukondo and Ben Musoni, and they encouraged my motivation and hunger for success. I engaged in a challenging partnership with Lonrho PLC, a British-based conglomerate, which took me into haircare manufacturing and distribution, aircraft sales, and the sales and marketing of utility vehicles. I later became a manufacturing representative of Kestrel Corporation, a company I acquired from Neil Hobbs.

Q How has your tertiary education helped you achieve your career goals?

COMPILED BY HLULANI MASINGI. IMAGE SUPPLIED BY DR JAMES MAKAMBA.

I hold a Bachelor of Business Administration and MBA from California Coast University in the USA, and was later awarded an honorary doctorate in Business Leadership. Education is a powerful tool to help you understand how the world functions. The brief encounter that I had with politics – firstly as mayor, then as legislator, MP and party provincial chairman – allowed me to understand the principal of governance. I realise that society tends to respect and trust those with solid qualifications or credentials, so education can be an international passport to world entry.

necessity of adherence to existing standards. It is crucial to respect the laws and tenets to grow the harmonious functioning of industry.

Q How have your role models inspired your choices in life? We all have many role models, but I have three in particular who are pillars of my foundation: Miko Rwayitare, co-founder of Telecel; his partner, Joe Gatt, and Tiny Roland, the late MD of Lonrho PLC, who had sprawling business interests.

Q What advice do you have for young Africans aspiring to be entrepreneurs? Be persistent and never give up! Don’t be discouraged, have ambition and stay with a vision. Visit Makamba online for great entrepreneurial tips and advice.

Q Tell us more about the IBBAMO Foundation. The foundation was formed in 2009. I was inspired by the historical presidential election of Barack Obama and the particular role that quality education played in the Obama couple’s life. The foundation inspires and empowers young learners between the ages of 14 and 18, providing them with a balanced framework for self-development. The aim is to increase their self-esteem and develop their leadership capabilities, as well as enhance their capacity to achieve success in their particular context.

Q You are successful in different business sectors. How did you achieve this diversity?

Q Explain your passion for the empowerment of African youth through education.

No man is an island; even an octopus with its eight arms can only reach so far. The employment of experts to manage your different business holdings becomes a necessity. Planning, engagement and supervision can be centralised to supervise the various sectors effectively. An evolving business climate and culture requires effective planning.

Q Where can we find you when you are not hard at work?

Q What did you learn from your experience in helping international companies establish themselves? The multinational companies that I have worked and engaged with, which were mostly British, American, European and Asian, taught me the importance of planning every move and doing exhaustive research. Due diligence must not be compromised by selfish interests. I learnt to respect the experts, the essential role of finance, and the development and execution of work ethic, as well as the

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It comes from my own life and experiences. African people have become victims of racism, and I have learned that little or no education brings about discrimination.

I am not sure I even have leisure time. Empowerment, engagement and serving as ambassador for charities, as well as participating in investment promotion trips for Africa – I guess these serve as my leisure. I have yet to learn how to just sit down and do nothing.

Q How do you balance your family, social and career life? My family is spread out across the globe and we are all very busy with our own lives but, like most families, we come together for special events and gatherings. E

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EOA BEAUTY & HEALTH NEWS

If you’re looking to economise on luxury beauty products without sacrificing quality, BB creams might be a solution. More than a fad, these creams offer multiple functions like moisturisation, an SPF and a certain level of tint to instantly cover marks or uneven skin tone. Lighter than your regular foundation, a BB cream will provide you with more coverage and a softer, smoother appearance than a regular tinted moisturiser. Reduce your beauty routine and your budget by two or three products with the Clere Radiance BB Cream, available in both light and dark shades. Available from all leading retailers for RSP: R45.99.

SATIN BEAUTY SLEEP

Few things bring luxury to the bedroom like satin. From the elegant sheen and classic beauty of the fabric, to the soft lustrous feeling against the skin, satin pillowcases are one way to enjoy a night’s beauty sleep. According to Kim Orgill, creator of Every Second Counts, an exclusive online gift registry, satin pillowcases are a dream to sleep on and also promote your overall well-being.  Unlike sleeping on cotton fabric, which draws moisture from the skin, satin works to balance moisture levels resulting in a softer, more radiant complexion.  Satin pillowcases don’t leave sleep lines on your face and actively work against the formation of fine lines and wrinkles on the skin to reverse the signs of ageing.  Gentle on your hair, not only do you wake up without knots, but satin also prevents hair loss and damage.  This applies to your lashes too, particularly for those who wear eyelash extensions, because they won’t come loose while you sleep.  Asthma sufferers particularly enjoy sleeping on satin pillowcases as they are hypoallergenic and attract far less dust mites than cotton pillowcases. Order your daily dose of beauty sleep today from the bespoke range of satin pillowcases at available at ESC-satin-pillow-cases.com.

EAT MORE CHICKPEAS

Also known as garbanzo beans, chickpeas are originally cultivated in the Mediterranean and Middle Eastern regions, and form a popular part of Spanish and Greek cuisine. Commonly bought as ready-to-eat, they are high in nutrition content and should be included in your diet for the following reasons:  Good For Your Bones. They have a large amount of minerals, iron, magnesium, zinc and vitamin K, which contribute to good bone health.  Heart Health. Their high fibre and potassium content and zero cholesterol content assists in lowering the cholesterol in the blood.  Keep You Regular. They prevent constipation and promote a healthy digestive tract.  Relieve Inflammation. Chickpeas contain choline, a nutrient that is known for decreasing chronic inflammation, and assists with sleep, muscle movement and memory.  Long-Term Health Benefits. Chickpeas assist with liver function and cleanse the body of cancer-causing toxins. For more info, visit Beautysouthafrica.com. E

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WORDS: HLULANI MASINGI. SOURCES AND IMAGES: ROBERTSON EDWARDS PR, BEAUTYSOUTHAFRICA.COM, AGRICULTUREDIVYA.COM, ESC-SATIN-PILLOW-CASES.COM, ©ISTOCK.COM.

THE BEST OF BOTH

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main BEAUTY EOA

ost women want to look good, but not everyone gets it right. It’s easy for your beauty routine to be the first thing to fall away as your schedule fills up and the demands of life increase. “Most people would rather get 30 minutes more sleep, which is understandable, but establish a morning beauty routine that allows you to look good without too much effort,” advises Mbali Dlamini, a Sandton-based beauty therapist.

FACE OFF

LOOK POLISHED… ALWAYS Some women look like they just stepped out of a glossy magazine, no matter what they are wearing. We asked the experts what it takes to look chic without too much fuss. e ssays of A f r i c a

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Your face is the first thing people look at so it’s important to make a good impression. And the most important part of a great face is great skin. “I can’t overemphasise the importance of good skin. It’s something worth investing in because you will carry it with you for the rest of your days,” says Dlamini. So what if you’re not one of those people blessed with flawless skin? “Make an effort; just because you don’t naturally have great skin doesn’t mean you can’t earn it,” Dlamini says, adding, “Invest in having a professional assessment of your skin type or, if that’s too much for you, research your skin type properly and find what works for you.” Skin needs constant care, so the daily cleansing, moisturising and application of suncreen is a must – so is drinking enough water.

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“You also need to make time to exfoliate at least once every two weeks. If possible, schedule in facials or microdermabrasion once a month. Your natural glow will be a great payoff. When your skin is in great condition, you instantly look like you take care of yourself,” adds Dlamini. Cheat It While you’re still working towards that perfect skin, BB creams and tinted moisturisers are a great way to look good. “BB creams are light enough to be worn everywhere and it will immediately make you look the part,” explains Dlamini. “Remember that without the basic of good skin, your beauty regime will always be compromised.”

YOUR CROWNING GLORY Hair can instantly make you look chic or grungy, so it needs all the love and care you can give it. “The most well-groomed women I know visit me at least once every two weeks,” says hairstylist, Fred Nkomo. “Hair is like a high-maintenance girlfriend – without attention it falls apart,” he says with a laugh. No matter what type of hair you have, the rules are simple: keep it clean, keep it neat and when you can’t do either, cover it up. “Find a trusted stylist or become your own trusted stylist. Wash your hair often; dirty hair immediately says that you don’t care. When your hair is healthy and in place, any outfit that you wear looks like it’s part of a wellcrafted look,” says Nkomo. Cheat It Good quality wigs are a great way to cover up bad hair, so invest in a few. Head wraps and hats make for good coverups as well. Make sure they are in good condition; anything old and tatty immediately detracts from looking flawless.

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main BEAUTY EOA BROW MANIA Brows have been trending for the last few years, so whether yours are on fleek or not, know that they matter and need care. “Eyebrows immediately clean up or clutter a look,” says Anusha, an eyebrow threader in Rosebank. “When your eyebrows are done, your face is opened up and you look groomed, even when you aren’t wearing make-up.” There are various way to keep yours looking the part, with waxing and threading being the most popular. “Find a professional to handle your brows and the visit her every three to five weeks, depending on how quick your regrowth is.” Anusha warns against making your eyebrows look too thin. “That can cheapen a look and age your face. Also be careful about drawing on dark and waxy brows; they look unnatural and don’t look as classy as natural-looking brows.” Cheat It Invest in a good brow set, tune into YouTube and see how the pros do it, so that you can achieve the same look. Remember that if you go this route, it requires daily maintenance.

NAILED IT

WORDS: ZAMA NKOSI-MABUYE. IMAGES: ©ISTOCK.COM, shutterstock.com, GARETH JACOBS.

Nothing says you’re not well put together like chipped nail polish. “People will always notice your nails,” says nail technician, Happiness Pinyuri. “I always advise people to pick a nail technique they can maintain, otherwise they will end up with chipped nails that will ruin a look,” she says. For people with a busy schedule, gellish is a popular route to go. “It will last 10 to 14 days and there will be no chipping,” says Pinyuri. If that’s too pricey for you, paint your own nails but do it properly. “Painting your nails at home works if you do it meticulously and if you fix your chipping as and when it appears,” she emphasises. Cheat It For a groomed look without too much fuss, keep your natural nails cut short and well shaped. Add a coat of clear nail polish every few days and your nails will look neat and cared for. E

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ALL ABOUT OIL

When it comes to any hair regimen, hair oils are the holy grail of all products. We look at some of the favourites and how they should be used. a p ri l 2 0 1 6

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he new buzzword, especially in the natural hair circles, is oils. From castor oil to coconut oil, hair bloggers and enthusiasts often trade notes on what oils they are using and how they are working. With all the oils on the market, it can be difficult to know which ones to use. Here’s a basic guide to start with as you explore the world of oils.

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BEAUTY EOA

HOT OIL TREATMENT Example: Jamaican Black Castor Oil Benefits Rich in vitamin E and omega-6 oils, Jamaican Black Castor Oil in particular is reputed to be more effective for hair because of its ash content. Often referred to as the powerhouse for hair growth, it increases the rate of hair growth, prevents hair loss and helps with regrowth. Jamaican Black Castor Oil also fights against dandruff, eczema and other scalp infections, and helps create an ideal environment for healthy, stronger and fuller hair.

SCALP TREATMENTS Example: Olive Oil Benefits An old favourite, olive oil contains antioxidants that prevent the production of the DHT hormone responsible for female pattern balding and hair loss. The natural anti-inflammatory, antifungal and antibacterial properties promote a healthier scalp, prevent hair loss and encourage hair growth. Its fatty acids condition the hair, seal in moisture and protect the hair against the elements.

TOP TIP: Be aware that mineral and petroleum oils, and their derivatives, seal out moisture and contribute towards hair dryness in the long run.

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. SOURCE: RUTH MAFUQA. IMAGES: ŠISTOCK.COM.

PRE-SHAMPOO TREATMENTS Example: Coconut Hair Oil Benefits Hydrophobic properties allow the oil to coat the hair shaft and prevent it from dissolving in water. Use coconut oil for a deep root conditioning and to prevent chronic breakage by strengthening the hair protein. It easily penetrates the hair cuticle and scalp, providing an effective treatment for dandruff and other scalp-related issues for healthier hair. The slippery nature of coconut oil makes it an ideal detangler while helping to prevent breakage or split ends.

DAILY HAIRDRESSING Example: Amla Oil Benefits Amla oil is rich in vitamin C and antioxidants, and penetrates the scalp to strengthen the hair from the root. The nourishment of the hair follicles is said to prevent premature ageing, while antifungal properties help to treat and control dandruff.

ENDS SEALER Example: Argan Oil Benefits Argan oil is rich in fatty acids and vitamin E, an antioxidant that helps to boost cell regeneration. Effective as a hair regrowth treatment, the oil softens the hair and protects it from damage when heat styling while helping to prevents split ends.

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OUR NATURAL SISTER SAYS‌ Ruth Mafupa, the lady behind the South African hair blog, Natural Sisters, and Natural Moisture, advises wearing a plastic cap covered by a scarl when doing an overnight oil treatment to prevent staining your linen. On any other night, cover the hair with a satin cap or satin scarf to retain moisture on the hair and prevent moisture and oil to be transferred to the linen. How often does one need to oil their hair? Once a week on the scalp and daily on the hair for sheen and luster. Remember, you only need a very small amount! E Visit naturalsisters.co.za.

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EOA BEAUTY

Sexy SEVEN

1. CEREMIDE REPLENISHING CLEANSING OIL, R555, RED SQUARE. Rich in omega 3, 6, 9 and vitamin E, this oil dissolves all impurities from skin (including stubborn make-up), while nourishing the skin to leave it feeling clean, soft and moisturised. 2. BOBBI BROWN INSTANT DETOX FACE MASK, R800, BOBBI BROWN COUNTERS NATIONWIDE. Clarifying clay-based formula deeply penetrates the skin’s surface to aid the removal of impurities and pollutants, for a healthier and clearer skin. 3. JUSTINE TISSUE OIL SKIN REPAIR FACE CREAM SPF 20, R135, JUSTINE Formulated with vitamin E, rosehip oil and sweet almond oil to nourish and soothe the skin, and improve the texture of the skin with continued use. 4. SKINCEUTICAL TRIPLE LIPID RESTORE 2:4:2, R2 450, PHYSICIAN OFFICES NATIONWIDE. Anti-ageing treatment that restores fullness, resurfaces texture and rediscovers radiance. 5. ESSIE LUXE EFFECT FRINGE FACTOR, R124.95, DIS-CHEM AND CLICKS STORES. Glittering shadowy silver and iridescent pink confetti nail polish with fringe effect for that fun girls’ night out. 6. LANCÔME TEINT IDOLE ULTRA COMPACT FOUNDATION, R565, LANCÔME COUNTERS NATIONWIDE. Eternal Soft Technology combines a long-wear mattifying effect in a compact for comfort and a glowing skin. 7. SI HUILE DE PARFUM, R 1 395, STUTTAFORDS, RED SQUARE AND EDGARS. Si Huile de Parfum vegetable oils wrap women in a subtle and persistent trail. Apply on pulse points for a lithe, deliciously fragrant scent.

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WORDS: TUMI MDLULI. IMAGES SUPPLIED BY STOCKISTS.

Enjoy this selection of the latest make-up, nail polish and skincare products for your everyday use.

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THE PRINCE OF CHOREOGRAPHY TAKES OVER THE WORLD In 2011, Paul Modjadji made history by becoming the first South African dancer to win the European Star Dance Union World Championships under the solo jazz category in Croatia, and was crowned top dancer at the Talent America Showcase in New York City in 2013.

t home Modjadji (31) has been acknowledged with a National Heritage Golden Shield Youth Advocacy award and is a recipient of the South African Youth Award in the Arts and Entertainment sector. A dancer, choreographer, writer and entrepreneur, Modjadji was also acknowledged with a Mandela Washington African Leaders Award by President Barack Obama at a ceremony in Washington DC in August 2015.

Q Where Does Your Love For Dancing Come From? For as long as I can remember I have been moving and dancing. When I was young I did not think much of it because it was part of my family’s favourite activity during festivities and gatherings. It was only much later on when I started getting attention and being asked to dance at school and for the community that I realised I must have an affinity for dance. I must also give credit to hit movies and TV shows such as Sarafina, Fame and Backstage for igniting my passion for dance.

Q Why Are You Referred To As The Prince Of Choreography? As a new kid on the block I have been blessed with opportunities to choreograph prestigious shows locally, continentally and internationally. I believe the reference also comes from my relation to Modjadji,

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ENTERTAINMENT Q&A EOA

the rainmaking royal family. The title ‘prince’ could highlight my heritage and equally so, my rightful title as a prince within the family.

Q You Grew Up In A Community With No Resources To Help You Pursue Your Dreams As A Dancer. What Kept You Motivated? Television, mostly – I call it my first dance teacher. I am also fortunate that my parents that supported me by taking me to dance classes on weekends. It wasn’t easy using public transport to Johannesburg every weekend as a teenager all by myself, but I am glad I did it. This provided me with the foundation I needed to open future doors.

Q Tell Us About Paul Modjadji The Entrepreneur. I launched my company Imvula Pula Entertainment in 2006 to house my creative business interests and my talent and this year marks our 10th anniversary. The company provides various entertainment services, with a special interest in choreography and talent management. Over the years we have managed various exciting projects, such as South Africa’s feature in the Closing Ceremony in Beijing (2014) and the Gauteng Sport Awards, for which we have provided creative direction and show producing for the past two years.

Q What Motivated You To Give Back To Young Through ‘Dare To Dream’? I was inspired by the need to make a difference in my hometown, Hammanskraal, near Pretoria. It broke my heart to see how little had changed since my early years. I felt the urgency to be part of the solution and to make it possible for the next generation to also gain access into the wonderful world of the arts.

COMPILED BY: HLULANI MASINGI. IMAGE SUPPLIED BY PAUL MODJADJI.

Q Tell Us More About Your Writing Projects? I have written one book and am in the process of publishing the second one this year in June. The first book is still available on all reliable online stores, chronicles the inspiring life story of South African business leader, Adelaide Matlejoane, and is aptly titled Keeping My Core Intact, The Story Of Adelaide Matlejoane. The second book, 101 Principles For Getting In And Staying In The Game, is a guideline for young people looking to make moves professionally.

Q What Does Dance Mean To You And What Should It Mean To Other People? Dance is a universal language. More than that, it is a human language. Dance is able to reach where words can’t go. I would like dance to be recognised as an expression of our human beauty and an art form worth preserving and celebrating.

Q What Are The Lessons You’ve Learned In Pursuing Your Passion? I have learned that we can only begin to live our truth when we dare to follow our passions. I’ve learned that following our passions can reap big profits and personal growth. Pursuing my passion has been my life’s most fulfilling journey. E

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SA IS A

BRAAI NATION!

There are very few things that come close to socialising and savouring delicious food around a fire, and a good old braai is one of them! Very popular within South African culture, come summer or winter, these scrumptious Braai Recipes from Clover will beckon you to outdoors once again.

SPICE-RUBBED WORS WITH BEETROOT AND CRANBERRY RELISH a p ri l 2 0 1 6

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Serves 4 Ingredients Spice-Rubbed Wors: 1 tsp. (5 ml) each paprika, mustard powder, coriander seeds, cumin seeds, dried origanum, chilli flakes, coarse salt, black pepper 1 roll of wors 1 tbsp. (15 ml) melted Clover Farmstyle butter Beetroot and Cranberry Relish: 5 fresh beetroots 1 onion, finely chopped 1 Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and finely chopped ¼ cup (60 ml) dried cranberries ½ cup (125 ml) balsamic vinegar ½ cup (125 ml) Clover Krush berry juice ½ cup (125 ml) sugar 1 tsp. (5 ml) orange zest ½ tsp. (2 ml) ground cloves Method Spice-rubbed wors: Place the spices into a pestle and mortar and grind until coarse and aromatic. Brush the wors on both sides with the melted butter and sprinkle some of the spices over the wors. Cook on the braai and season with the spice mixture. Beetroot and cranberry relish: Wash and trim the beetroot and wrap each bulb in foil. Place on a moderate braai or cook in the oven, until tender, for about 50 to 60 minutes. Set aside. When cool enough to handle, peel off the skin and trim the ends. Roughly dice the beetroot and place in a pot or potjie. Add the remaining ingredients and cook, stirring until the sugar dissolves. Cook over a low heat for 35 to 45 minutes, or until the mixture thickens slightly. Serve warm or at room temperature with the spice-rubbed wors.

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FOOD & ENTERTAINING EOA

CREAMED SWEETCORN BAKE Serves 6 to 8

Ingredients 3 eggs 1 /3 cup (80 ml) sugar 3 tbsp. (45 ml) cake flour Salt and freshly ground black pepper ½ cup (125 ml) Clover full cream milk ½ cup (125 ml) Clover cream ¼ cup (60 ml) melted Clover Springbok butter 450 g corn kernels 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely diced 1 cup (70 g) fresh white breadcrumbs ½ cup (125 ml) grated Clover Cheddar cheese ½ tsp. (2 ml) cayenne pepper

Method Preheat the oven to 180 °C and grease a 1-litre ovenproof casserole with some butter. Place the sugar and flour in a large bowl. Whisk the eggs, milk, cream and melted butter together in a jug. Whisk the wet ingredients into the flour mixture. Stir in the corn and chilli. Pour the mixture into the baking dish. Combine the breadcrumbs, cheese and cayenne pepper together and sprinkle over the corn mixture. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.

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½ cup (125 ml) Greek-style plain yoghurt 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 tsp. (5 ml) honey 1 tbsp. (15 ml) chopped mint Salt and freshly ground black pepper

LINEFISH WITH LENTILS AND MINT AND CUCUMBER RAITA Serves 4 Ingredients Linefish: 1 tbsp. (15 ml) grated fresh ginger 2 tsp. (10 ml) finely grated lemon zest 2 cloves garlic, crushed ¼ cup (60 ml) chopped flat-leaf parsley 2 tbsp. (30 ml) chopped coriander leaves Salt and freshly ground black pepper 2 tbsp. (30 ml) lemon juice 2 tbsp. (30 ml) olive oil 1 tbsp. (15 ml) melted Clover Farmstyle butter 4 x 200 g fresh, firm linefish fillets Fresh coriander leaves, to serve

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Lentils: 1 tbsp. (15 ml) oil 2 tbsp. (30 ml) Clover Farmstyle butter 1 onion, diced 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp. (15 ml) mild curry paste 2 carrots, diced 3 celery stalks, diced 1 x 410 g tin of tomato purée 2 x 410 g tins brown lentils, drained and rinsed Salt and freshly ground black pepper ¼ cup (60 ml) Clover cream ¼ cup (60 ml) chopped fresh coriander Cucumber and mint raita: 1 small Mediterranean cucumber, coarsely grated

Method Linefish: Grind the ginger, lemon zest, garlic, parsley, coriander, salt and freshly ground black pepper together, in a pestle and mortar or in a food processor. Whisk the lemon juice, olive oil and melted butter together and whisk into the parsley mixture. Baste the fish fillets with the mixture and braai the fish on a flat top, basting frequently, for 4 to 5 minutes per side, depending on thickness of fillets, or until cooked. Top with fresh coriander and serve on a bed of lentils with the cucumber and mint raita. Lentils: Heat the oil and butter in a pan and gently fry the onion and garlic for 4 to 5 minutes, or until softened. Add the curry paste, carrots and celery and fry for 3 minutes. Add the tomato purée and cook for 7 to 8 minutes, adding a little water if necessary, or until the vegetables are tender. Stir in the lentils and season with salt and pepper. Simmer for 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in the cream and coriander, just before serving. Cucumber and mint raita: Place the grated cucumber into a colander and allow to drain completely. Use paper towel to pat dry. Transfer to a small mixing bowl and stir in the remaining ingredients. Serve at once.

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FOOD & ENTERTAINING EOA

POTATO SKINS WITH SOUR CREAM AND CHIVE DIP Serves 6-8

Ingredients 6 potatoes ¼ cup (60 ml) melted Clover Springbok butter Salt and freshly ground black pepper Sour cream and chive dip: 1 cup (250 ml) Clover sour cream 2 tsp. (10 ml) snipped fresh chives 1 tsp. (5 ml) fresh lime or lemon zest 1 tsp. (5 ml) fresh lime or lemon juice ½ tsp. (3 ml) cayenne pepper Salt and freshly ground black pepper Optional: ½ cup (125g) grated Clover Cheddar cheese 3 jalepeno chillies, sliced A few sprigs of fresh coriander leaves

Method Wrap each potato in a square of foil and bake on a hot braai, or in the oven, until cooked. Cut into wedges. Remove the potato flesh from the skins, leaving a half-cm rim. Reserve the potato flesh for another use. Brush the potato skins with melted butter and season with salt and pepper. Grill on the braai or bake in the oven, until the potato skins are crispy. Mix all of the sour cream and chive dip ingredients together and season to taste. Serve with the hot potato skins. Optional: Load some of the crispy potato skins with a little of the sour cream mixture and top with some jalepeno chillies and Cheddar cheese. Place under a hot grill for 1 to 2 minutes. Serve garnished with coriander leaves.

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Serves 6 Ingredients Chicken Satay Skewers: 500 g boneless, skinless chicken breast fillets ½ cup (125 ml) coconut milk 1 tbsp. (15 ml) Thai fish sauce 2 tbsp. (30 ml) finely chopped fresh coriander 2 tsp. (10 ml) Thai Green curry paste 1 tsp. (5 ml) soft brown sugar ½ tsp. (3 ml) turmeric Creamy Peanut Sauce: 2 tbsp. (30 ml) Clover Mooi River butter ½ onion, finely diced 1 garlic clove, finely chopped 1 green chilli, deseeded and thinly sliced 1 tsp. (5 ml) finely grated fresh ginger 1 tbsp. (15 ml) brown sugar 2 tbsp.(30 ml) soy sauce ½ cup (125 ml) smooth peanut butter ½ cup (125 ml) Clover cream 1 tbsp (15 ml) Thai fish sauce

CHICKEN SATAY SKEWERS WITH CREAMY PEANUT SAUCE a p ri l 2 0 1 6

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Method Chicken Satay Skewers: Flatten the chicken breasts and cut each fillet into long thin strips and place in a non-metallic bowl. Whisk the remaining ingredients together and pour over the chicken. Cover and chill in the fridge for 2 hours. Remove chicken from the marinade and thread onto skewers. Grill for 2 to 4 minutes, per side. Serve with the creamy peanut sauce. Creamy Peanut Sauce: Melt the butter in a small pan and gently fry the onion and garlic for 5 to 6 minutes. Add the chilli, ginger, sugar and soy sauce and cook for 1 minute. Add the peanut butter and cream and bring to the boil, whisking until smooth for 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in the fish sauce. Serve with the chicken satay skewers.

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FOOD & ENTERTAINING EOA

GRILLED BABY MARROW, ORANGE AND RED ONION SALAD Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients Âź cup (60 ml) Clover Mooi River butter 2 tbsp. (30 ml) olive oil Salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 tsp. (5 ml) dried mixed herbs 6 to 8 baby marrows 1 small red onion, sliced 2 oranges, peeled and segmented 1 tsp. (5 ml) orange zest 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 tsp. (5 ml) Dijon mustard 1 tbsp. (15 ml) white wine vinegar 2 tsp. (10 ml) castor sugar 3 tbsp. (45 ml) olive oil 5 ml chopped fresh thyme leaves To serve (optional): Pomegranate rubies Fresh mint leaves, torn Clover feta cheese, cubed

The profits from sales of Clover Favourite Braai Recipes (R149.99) are donated to the Clover Mama Afrika project, a charity initiative started as a humble project 11 years ago and has since developed into Clover’s flagship CSI programme. It currently has 40 Mamas who run successful care centres throughout South Africa. These remarkable women collectively care for over 15 500 children and 2 500 elderly people, many of whom are abused, orphaned, homeless and vulnerable. E

RECIPES AND IMAGES SUPPLIED BY CLOVER.

Method Place the butter, oil and mixed herbs into a small pan and heat, until the butter has melted. Slice the baby marrows into thin strips using a mandolin or vegetable peeler. Brush each side of the baby marrows with the butter mixture and grill on a hot braai, or in a heated griddle pan on the stove, for 1 to 2 minutes per side. Transfer the baby marrows to a serving platter. Grill the onion slices for 1 to 2 minutes per side and place on top of the baby marrows. Top with the orange segments. Place the remaining ingredients into a small mixing bowl and whisk to combine. Drizzle the dressing over the salad. Garnish, with some of the optional toppings if desired, before serving.

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CHIC CITY

living

As more and more up-and-coming young professionals trek to the city for work, play and living, there is greater demand for compact, well-designed, chic apartments. RHODA DAVIDS spoke to Jacques van Embden, MD of Blok property developers, to get the lowdown on how to make your urban space work for you.

partment living comes with its pros, like convenience and easy access to amenities, and cons, like noisy neighbours, tight spaces and lots of traffic. But with the right tips and tricks, living in an apartment can be elegant and awesome. “When we design spaces we advocate duality of function. This means that clever use of design leads to great functionality, such as a home office or a bar that can double as a den or a sleeping area,� explains Van Embden.

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TRANSFORM PASSIVE SPACES INTO FUNCTIONAL ONES

1. Examine your space carefully, look for dead corners or spaces that only serve one purpose. Areas such as entrance halls, lobbies, passages and staircase landings usually only get used for thoroughfare and could easily be utilised for another purpose. For example, a staircase landing could be ideal to create a little storage area with a floor-to-ceiling shelved unit. 2. It is imperative to urban living that your multi-purpose space offers you more than one living solution, because we demand more

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DÉCOR FEATURE EOA from our space and our homes. For example, a corner in your living room can be transformed into a home office or a reading nook with very little effort. 3. Be creative with your space – compact does not mean dull. Using the right décor accessories will instantly personalise your space. Colour, texture, mirrors and lighting are your friends – play in your space and you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. 4. Don’t worry about not having lots of outdoor space. Hang your bicycle in your entrance hall like you would a work of art – this is definitely a clever use of dead space. Create a little herb garden in a flower box and place it on the windowsill in your kitchen.

WORDS: RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGES: PINTEREST.COM.

5. Overlapping is key when it comes to multifunctional spaces. The simpler the design the more functions you can apply to it. For example, the unused space under a staircase can be transformed into a mini bar area, thus alleviating pressure from the kitchen or dining area and creating an entirely new space. Remember form and function are crucial in modern living. Don’t let the size of your space confine the way you live. “At Blok, compact often means clever design with a huge amount of living value,” Van Embden emphasises.

TOP 5 TIPS FOR FURNITURE IN SMALL SPACES

1. Embrace curved furniture. Go for the fourseater round dining table and round back chairs. 2. Experiment with floating pieces – mount shelves and storage units against the wall to open up the space below the piece. 3. Your sofa should not be too chunky. Try a loveseat or a corner unit, but do not push it right into the corner. Keep furniture away from the walls. 4. Rid your space of all clutter. So even if you love those photo frames and lamps, try to keep your surfaces clear. 5. Storage is key in a small space and you can still keep it stylish. Add mirrors to the outside of storage units or explore other space, like under beds, for additional storage.

TOP 5 DECORATING TIPS

1. If you love curtains opt for ceiling to floor so it slouches on the floor. It adds a great touch of elegance to the space. 2. Steer clear from patterns that are too busy. Create a focal point either on a wall or piece of furniture where you can use a bold motif. For example, a striped wall, a floral occasional chair, etc. 3. An all-white or vanilla colour palette makes a bold statement and if you go all white – walls, ceiling and even floors – your space will automatically appear bigger and chic. 4. Forego the coffee table and use cubes that can also be used as seating options. 5. Mirrors are the ultimate accessory and the bigger the better. If the space is small, go for an oversized mirror and place it opposite a window. E

Make sure your multipurpose space offers you more than one living solution and be creative, compact does not have to mean dull. E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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EOA DÉCOR SHOPPING 1

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SMALL BUYS, BIG ON STYLE

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WORDS: RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGES: SUPPLIED UNLESS OTHERWISE SPECIFIED, PINTEREST.COM.

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Sometimes it’s the smallest things that give your place the big style difference it needs. 1. ROUND MIRROR IN MATTE BRASS STUDDED FINISH, R4 995, WEYLANDTS. 2. OAK LOFT ENTERTAINER WITH WATER-BASED CLEAR LACQUER, R5 995, WEYLANDTS. 3. PENDANT LIGHT, FROM R899, ROBERT-THOMSON.COM. 4. OAK FLOOR LAMP WITH GREY SHADE, FROM R1 699, @HOME. 5. MULTI-DRAWER HANDCRAFTED WOOD STORAGE UNIT, R8 995, WEYLANDTS. 6. ANT CHAIR IN BLACK, R995, WEYLANDTS. 7. BINDI STOOL, R1 495, CORICRAFT. 8. RETRO ROPE CHAIR, R1 595, WEYLANDTS. 9. WOODEN FLOATING SHELF UNIT, R699, LOOT.CO.ZA.

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DÉCOR news EOA CELEBRATE THE COLOUR OF YEAR IN YOUR KITCHEN

This year sees subtle shades come to the fore. The Pantone Colour Institute, a global authority on colour, has selected not one, but two signature colours for 2016: a warmer, soft pink (Rose Quartz) and a cooler, tranquil blue (Serenity). Make sure your kitchen is in vogue by adding Le Creuset products in hues of Chiffon Pink and Coastal Blue for a similar look. According to Pantone, consumers are seeking mindfulness and well-being as an antidote to modern-day stress. These lifestyle signature colours contribute to a welcoming and peaceful environment, at the same time providing a fashionable canvas for the presentation of meals. Go to lecreuset.co.za to view the full range.

KEEPING UP WITH DÉCOR TRENDS Find out how to add the colours of the year to your kitchen and give your floors that fashion flair they’ve been missing.

FASHION FOR FLOOR

GET A HANDLE ON IT

For instant elegance in your bedroom or bathroom, add some crystal handles to your cupboards or furniture pieces. The Guidero crystal range of door handles available from Handles Inc. is ultra modern and elegant. The Guidero crystal range retails from about R4 000 per set. For more information, go to handlesinc.co.za.

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YOUR

The Rug Company has collaborated with some with the world’s most renowned creative minds, including fashion luminaries such as Paul Smith, Vivienne Westwood, Diane von Furstenberg, Rodarte and the late, great Alexander McQueen. Combining traditional weaving techniques with innovative design skill and fashion flair, the unique, collectable pieces are both exquisite and resilient. “We’re fortunate that the quality and craftsmanship of our rugs are so appealing that the most illustrious designers are happy to put their designs on something that will be around for a long time,” says Christopher Sharp, CEO and co-founder of The Rug Company. Using Tibetan wool, silk and mohair, The Rug Company’s rugs are made by hand in Nepal. For more information go to therugcompany.com

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EOA DÉCOR NEWS

EXPLORE THE REVAMPED CAPE TOWN CLUB

Housed in Rhodes Place, nestled next to the Cape Town High Court in the heart of the Mother City, is the clubhouse of the Cape Town Club dating back to 1898. The club has undergone restoration with the introduction of muted tones with contemporary design quirks, but still maintains its historic Sir Herbert Baker grandeur, which is visible in its magnificent foyer with its marble floor and climbing wooden staircase. There are nine different functional spaces now available to the public to explore and experience. The club restaurant is open daily for breakfast and lunch, while the member’s bar boasts original wood-panelled walls, leather armchairs, Chesterfield couches and a clock that’s always set to 17h15. The unique billiard room is a must-see when visiting the Mother City. Many of the design and décor implementation gives new life to elements that were previously stored away. For membership details, visit capetownclub.org.za.

WOOD WORKS

A TOUCH OF TABLE FLAIR

In décor, aged wood has always been coveted, but no varieties are as precious as petrified wood. From the Greek word ‘petro’ meaning rock or stone, the unusual combination of the warmth and grain of the wood with the depth of the veining of the stone makes this a one-of-a-kind material, much like the items you can add to your home. The petrified wood stool retails from R7 995. For more on this range, go to weylandts.co.za. E

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WORDS: RHODA DAVIDS. IMAGES: SUPPLIED UNLESS SPECIFIED.

Coricraft’s new range of table linen and crockery is a must-have for your dining experiences at home. Titled ‘Tablecraft’, this simple and stylish range of bistro crockery sets is great for casual everyday use. The down-to-earth, classic collection can easily be mixed and matched with your other dining pieces. Each set includes four dinner plates, side plates, bowls and mugs and is available in white, green and slate. For the finishing touches, add the 100-percent cotton napkins and placemats, available in a variety of shades and patterns. For more information, visit coricraft.co.za.

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TRAVEL EOA

COMMUNITY TOURISM More Than A Marketing Ploy In this interview, Peter John Massyn of the African Safari Foundation says the tourism industry needs to take a look at reinventing the entire concept of community tourism in Africa. ommunity tourism is a marketing buzzword that is powerful in its positive ‘feel-good’ factor, but how much of it is just marketing speak and how many real benefits actually go to communities across the continent? The African Safari Lodge Foundation (ASF), based in Johannesburg, has

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been working with communities across Africa for over 15 years. This NGO has assisted and consulted various communities on creating sustainable tourism-related projects. ASF has worked with communities to set up sustainable businesses in many of southern Africa’s premier parks and world heritage sites including Madikwe, iSimangaliso, Kruger, Kgalagadi,

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Etosha, Palmwag, Bwabawata and Maputo. According to Peter Massyn and his team, many valuable lessons have been learnt along the way. Massyn says it’s important to look at the definition of community tourism in its true sense. He says, “Community tourism is a form of tourism that not only brings net benefits to local communities, especially those at the margins of society, but also includes them as owners (or coowners). We believe this emphasis on ownership is vital if we are to overcome the legacies of dispossession and disadvantage that shaped many African societies.” He says community tourism has changed and evolved over the years – and there have been many pitfalls

HIMBA TRIBE IN GROOTBERG, NAMIBIA

“Community tourism is a form of tourism that not only brings net benefits to local communities, especially those at the margins of society, but also includes them as owners (or co-owners).” along the way and a few difficult lessons. “Several countries have moved towards a more market-based approach, in which communities enter into partnerships with others to develop their assets as dynamic businesses operating within the market and without ongoing donor support,” Massyn says, adding, “This has involved moving away from an earlier emphasis on small-scale, community-owned and managed businesses, which were often propped up by well-intentioned donors but which almost inevitably failed.” He explains that the challenges of the past will hopefully be the building blocks of the future. “There are the obvious and well-rehearsed challenges that come with any attempt to bring those who have suffered disadvantage into the economic mainstream. But one of the most unexpected and frustrating has been the lack of government support. “Many governments profess support for community tourism in the form of policy statements and even legislation, but when it comes to action, government agencies are at best inefficient and at worst

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ON SAFARI AT ETENDEKA MOUNTAIN CAMP, NAMIBIA

THATCH GUEST CHALETS AT GROOTBERG LODGE, NAMIBIA

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TRAVEL EOA

WORDS: DENISE SLABBERT. IMAGES: BIG SKY LODGES, BUFFALO RIDGE SAFARI LODGE/ASF, GROOTBERG LODGE.

obstructive and, in some extreme cases, corrupt.” Massyn says many mistakes were made in the past. “At the most general level, the earlier emphasis on small, donor-funded operations managed by ill-prepared communities were the most damaging. It trapped community tourism in ‘the ghetto’, so to speak, and tainted it as a basket case living off handouts.” He says that in order to thrive in the future, community tourism must enter into the mainstream. “It must break out of what the UK’s Overseas Development Institute calls ‘the comfortable ghetto of small, niche operations’ to become the norm in all forms of tourism and at all levels of the value chain.” While the challenges are fierce, Massyn believes community tourism has enormous opportunities. “Many communities have rights or claims to potentially valuable assets. The opportunity for them is to convert these rights (or claims) into viable businesses.” He says that, for operators, the main opportunity is to gain access to highvalue community land and other assets (such as wildlife, culture or even in some cases capital). “I also think that industry has only scratched the surface when it comes to the branding and marketing power inherent in such partnerships,” he adds.

HOADA CAMPSITE, GROOTBERG LODGE

“Community tourism will only work in the future, says Massyn, if communities are empowered by endowing them with rights, particularly in relation to ownership of assets valued by the market.” Community tourism will only work in the future, says Massyn, if communities are empowered by endowing them with rights, particularly in relation to ownership of assets valued by the market. He says this needs to be the first step. The next step is to convert their rights into profitable and sustained businesses. “This is a huge challenge, but I believe it is the only way if we are to rectify the inequality of power that lies at the heart of exclusion and poverty,’ says Massyn.

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BUFFALO RIDGE SAFARI LODGE, MADIKWE

The African Safari Lodge Foundation is involved in working with communities on various tourism projects, including: Etendeka Mountain Camp and Grootberg Lodge in the Kunene region in Namibia is a real tourism success story and fabulous lodges to visit if you truly want to get away from the rat race. Visit www.etendeka.com and www.grootberg.com. Buffalo Ridge Safari Lodge: visit www. buffaloridgesafari.com. Khomani San Community: visit www.khomanisan.com. iSimangaliso Wetland Park: visit www.isimangaliso.com. African Safari Foundation: visit www.asl-foundation.org. E

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SIBONGILE AND HUMPHREY MAKWARELA

IDOLS 2015 STARS: DINEO MOSEKI, LUNGISA XHAMELA AND KARABO MOGANE

REFILOE MABULA, NYELETI MAKHUBELE, NOMSA MALIMABE, LUNGILE MADLALA AND MOLATELO

PASTOR TINYIKO RANWASHE AND ELEAZAR RANWASHE

KARABO MOGANE (IDOLS 2015 WIINNER)

PRETTY AND SELBY MHLONG0

TSHAVU MUKHODOBWANE, VICTORIA MCULU, BASETSANA KUMALO, TSHILIDZI RAMANYIMI

CYNTHIA NKUNA AND ANDREW NKUNA

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 CAROL MATSHEKA AND FLAVIA SHABANGU

DAN MTHETWA AND OCTAVIA MTHETWA

NYELETI MAKHUBELE AND MIKATEKO HOLENI–MDLULI

SINDI SIBUYI

FHUMULANI AND MPHOWARONA MATHEBULA

TINTSWALO NYATHI

GEGANA CHIMSALAZO, NOSIZI MATHEBULA, VUKOSI NDOBE

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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SOCIAL SCENE EOA PRETTY MHLONGO

XIKHONGELO DOMBENI, THANDI MABUNDA, NYELETI MAKHUBELE, RHULANI RIKHOTSO, LINDENI MABUNDA

THEMBI DUBE AND BATHABILE SIBIYA

WORDS BY NYELETI MAKHUBELE. PHOTOGRAPHER: TARRYN-LEIGH FOURIE.

LUNGILE MADLALA

PATIENCE NXUMALO, BASETSANA KUMALO, TINYIKO KHUVUTLU, SHARON MALULEKE

NALEDI AND LESETJA TOONA

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LUNGISA XHAMELA (IDOLS 2015 TOP 10 FINALIST)

LANNY AND MAHASHANE MYAKAYAKA

urning 40 is definitely a great reason to celebrate. Managing Director of ZAO Investment Holdings, Nyeleti Makhubele, celebrated this milestone birthday in style on 6 February 2016 at the Maslow Hotel in Sandton. The glamorous theme organised by Magical Eventz was fashion icon Coco Chanel, in keeping with Nyeleti’s belief that a woman should be two things – classy and fabulous – and the cake and décor reflected the theme perfectly. Guests came from Mpumalanga, Limpopo and Gauteng and included some well-known names, like Basetsana Kumalo, Savita Mbuli, Matona Sakupanywa, Azania Mosaka and Shekeshe Mokgosi, who was MC for the night. Nyeleti was humbled by the speeches her guests made, which showed the effort they had taken to reflect on how she has impacted them positively. The guests were treated to superb entertainment by Lungisa Xhamela and Karabo Mogane (Idols 2015 Top 10 finalist and winner respectively). Dineo Moseki also performed on the night, and a little gospel was added to the musical mix by couple, Pretty and Selby Mhlongo, from Mpumalanga. E

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‘Fun’ cars aren’t only about performance and handling, but also taking the whole package into consideration – and hoping that it is not priced way out of your budget. These cars will leave you smiling after every drive because of way they look, handle, sound and perform.

FUN IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT FORD FIESTA ST

Pocket Rocket An old-school package that prioritises thrills, the fiery Fiesta ST is powered by a turbocharged 1.6-litre engine that delivers 134 kW and 240 Nm of torque (290 Nm on overboost). Performance is always strong, with a 0-100 km/h time of 6.9 seconds on offer. Only available as a three-door, it looks really racy with a deep rear diffuser, large tailgate

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spoiler and double exhaust outlets, and differentiated by the gloss black grille. Inside, the Recaro cloth seats provide excellent lateral support. While Ford’s emphasis with the Fiesta ST certainly falls on providing driving thrills, it doesn’t mean the little flyer is lacking in features. It even boasts climate control, auto lights/wipers, cruise control and the neat SYNC info-tainment system, with a TFT (thin-film transistor) screen.

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MOTORING EOA TOYOTA 86 HIGH

WORDS: MELISSA JANE COOK. IMAGES: QUICKPIC, BMW SOUTH AFRICA.

BMW M235i STEPTRONIC

Illustrious And Iconic The M235i Steptronic offers sizzling performance and fun dynamics in a very attractive, high quality package. Powered by a straight-line six-cylinder engine that has made BMW the darling of so many enthusiasts, twinturbocharging is used to bump up the power to 240 kW and 450 Nm. Partly due to the turbocharging, that torque ranges from 1 300 to 4 500 rpm, so there’s plenty of power available at any engine speed. Flicking through the fast eight-speed automatic transmission is a treat too. With a 0-100 km/h time of 4.8 seconds, the M235i is a muscular-looking compact coupé, and the striking 18inch alloy wheels fill the flared wheel arches with real purpose. The snug cabin is built around the driver and there are plenty of extras to choose from, but auto lights/wipers, a sound system with Bluetooth support and cruise control system with active braking all come standard.

RENAULT MEGANE RS TROPHY 275

Delivers Thrills This special edition Megane RS is a really exciting machine that prioritises ultimate engagement and fun. Under the Renault’s bonnet is a turbocharged 2.0-litre engine that pumps out no less than 201 kW and 360 Nm of torque, the latter across a wide rev range of 3000 to 5000 rpm. Get your pull-away right and you can hit 100 km/h in six seconds. The Megane shape looks the part, with 19-inch black alloy wheels, LED driving lamps and an Akropovic exhaust outlet that delivers a sizzling soundtrack. The interior exudes comfort, with partial suede/cloth upholstery for the Recaro bucket seats, a suede-trimmed thick-rim steering wheel and a carbonlook dashboard moulding. Renault always offers lots of standard equipment on all its vehicles, with heated front seats, auto lights/wipers, cruise control and a smart info-tainment system, with TomTom navigation and Bluetooth.

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The Ultimate Kick This sexy rear-wheel drive coupé is relatively affordable and aimed directly at the petrol-headed driving enthusiast. The 86 High is not about straight-line performance, but rather about being nimble, fun and easy to throw around. With an emphasis on low cost and low centre of gravity, a Subaru-sourced normally aspirated flatfour (boxer) engine was an easy choice for the 86. The 2.0-litre power plant delivers a strong 147 kW and 205 Nm of torque, with power going to the rear wheels via a robust sixspeed manual transmission, sprinting to 100 km/h in 7.6 seconds. Few cars offer such exotic looks in this price category. The low-slung, long-nose coupé body draws attention; the racy seats are finished in partial suede/ leather upholstery and the compact instrument cluster puts the focus on the rev counter with a small digital speedo. The 86 offers a near full-house specification package that includes seven airbags, dual-zone climate control, heated front seats, auto lights and a radio/ CD player with USB/Aux support. Cruise control is included too, ideal for longer road trips. E

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BOOKS

EOA BOOKS

ABORTION UNDER APARTHEID

Susanne M. Klausen R800, Oxford University Press-Southern Africa This book examines the politics of abortion in South Africa during the apartheid era, when termination of pregnancy was criminalised. Klausen reveals how ideas about sexuality were fundamental to apartheid culture and shows that the authoritarian National Party government, alarmed by the spread of ‘permissiveness’ in white society, attempted to regulate white women’s reproductive sexuality in the interests of maintaining white supremacy. Abortion Under Apartheid demonstrates that all women, regardless of race, were oppressed under apartheid. At the heart of the story are the black and white girls and women who, regardless of hostility from partners, elders, religious institutions, nationalist movements, conservative doctors and nurses, or the government, persisted in determining their own destinies.

MURDER AT SMALL KOPPIE: The Real Story Of The Marikana Massacre

Greg Marinovich R250, Penguin Books South Africa On 16 August 2012, a contingent of the South African Police Service opened fire with R5 assault rifles on a group of striking miners on and around Wonderkop, near the Marikana Platinum Mine in South Africa’s North West province. By the time the dust had settled, 34 miners were dead and 78 more were wounded. Footage of the massacre travelled around the globe, causing public outrage. The news footage, however, captured only a dozen or so of the dead. A number of those killed were beyond the view of cameras at a nondescript collection of boulders known as Small Koppie, some 300 metres behind Wonderkop. Many of these men had been shot in cold blood at close range. Renowned photojournalist, Greg Marinovich, explores the truth behind the Marikana massacre, looking specifically at the largely untold slaughter at Small Koppie.

Thula Simpson R350, Penguin Books South Africa The armed struggle waged by the ANC’s military wing, Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK), formed the main pillar of the organisation’s anti-apartheid strategy and developed into the longest sustained insurgency in South African history. The story traverses every inhabited region of South Africa and extends throughout southern Africa, where the MK’s largest campaigns and heaviest engagements occurred. It also details the support the rebellion was able to mobilise from solidarity networks that extended across the globe. The book draws closely from writings and testimonies by the men and women who fought the armed struggle, recreating the drama, heroism and tragedy of their experiences.

THE WIDOW

Fiona Barton R285, Random House We’ve all seen him, the man, the monster, staring from the front page of every newspaper, accused of a terrible crime. But what about the woman who grips his arm on the courtroom stairs, the woman who stands by him? Jean Taylor’s life was blissfully ordinary. Nice house, nice husband. Glen was all she’d ever wanted, her Prince Charming – until he became that man accused, that monster on the front page. Jean was married to a man everyone thought capable of unimaginable evil. But now Glen is dead and she’s alone for the first time, free to tell her story on her own terms. Jean Taylor is going to tell us what she knows. E

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COMPILED BY: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: SUPPLIED BY PUBLISHERS.

UMKHONTO WE SIZWE: The ANC’s Armed Struggle

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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EOA TECH

YOUR HEALTHCARE APP-OINTMENT MAMA

Less of an app and more of a program, the Mobile Alliance for Maternal Action works with low-income and at-risk mothers and families in countries with high populations of mobile phone users, to provide vital health information through SMS text messaging and simple voice messages. Cell-life, the Praekelt Foundation and Wits RHI originally worked together to develop MAMA with the aim to engage South Africans on critical health issues like HIV and Aids.

SMART HEALTH APP

Mobilium, with the direct support and guidance of The Global Fund to Fight Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria, has designed and built the Smart Health Application. The content focuses on raising consumer awareness by providing accurate information, and aims to enhance the health, health maintenance, health behaviours, and ultimately the future health of individuals and their communities across the continent.

KIDS FIRST AID

Health24.com

Definitely one of the best healthcare websites, and one you should visit frequently, Health24.com is a treasure chest of information and articles on topics such as maternal care, sexual health, dietary needs, stress management and natural healthcare.

Your health and that of your family should be your number one priority, followed by downloading these apps that will keep you informed about all health-related matters. VULA MOBILE

Winner of the Most Innovative App Award at the 2015 MTN App of the Year Awards, this South African medical-based app connects general healthcare workers directly to specialists. The health practitioners can make referrals, get advice, find information and undertake diagnostic tests, all through their mobile app, resulting in more accurate diagnoses and more appropriate referrals.

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FIND-A-MED

This Nigerian location-based app allows you to find the nearest health centre and stores your basic health information in case of an emergency. It aims to make all healthcare facilities across Nigeria accessible and searchable from a mobile device. E

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: GOOGLE PLAY STORE, ITUNES.

This South African app won the 2013 MTN Business App award for best Windows app. The last thing a parent faced with an emergency wants to do is page through a thick medical dictionary. Get all the medical tips you and your child’s teachers could need at the tap of an app. Convenient for times of travel to places where you don’t speak the language or when help is not easily available

ESSAYS OF AFRICA

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ON SCREEN

ON STAGE

MOVIES & THEATRE EOA

ALWAYS & FOREVER – A Tribute To Luther Vandross

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES:THEATRE ON THE SQUARE, THE JOBURG THEATRE, NUMETRO.

The king of croon will be celebrated by South Africa’s own ‘man with the velvet voice’, Timothy Moloi, in this non-stop nostalgic journey of musical delight. After a sell-out inaugural concert in Johannesburg in August 2015 to rave reviews from media and audience alike, The CoLab Network is thrilled to be able to re-stage Always & Forever – A Tribute to Luther Vandross, only this time it will be at the Joburg Theatre. Moloi is backed by some of South Africa’s best live musicians and vocalists, Tia Herman, Lelo Ramasimong and Kurt Herman, along with Voices Unlimited Gospel Choir. Star-on-the-rise, Llewellyn George, is the musical director and penned the musical arrangements especially for this show – he will lead a dynamite seven-piece live band. Catch Always & Forever – A Tribute To Luther Vandross at the Joburg Theatre from 31 March to 3 April.

THE YOUNG MESSIAH

Starring Sean Bean, David Bradley and Jonathan Bailey, Cyrus Nowrasteh directs this inspiring and unique story of seven-yearold Jesus Christ and His family as they leave Egypt to return to Nazareth. Told from His childhood perspective, the family comes to a fuller understanding of His divine nature and purpose as He grows into His religious identity. The Young Messiah opens at Nu Metro on 11 March 2016.

SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE

Can two serial cheaters get a second chance at love? After a one-night stand in college, New Yorkers Lainey (Alison Brie) and Jake (Jason Sudeikis) meet by chance 12 years later and discover they each have the same problem – because of their monogamy-challenged ways, neither can maintain a relationship. Determined to stay friends despite their mutual attraction, they make a pact to keep it platonic, a deal that proves easier said than done. Sleeping With Other People opens at Nu Metro on 18 March 2016.

MACBETH

From the producers of The King’s Speech comes the feature film adaptation of Shakespeare’s play about Macbeth (played by Fassbender), a tragic hero whose ambitious wife (played by Cotillard) urges him to use wicked means in order to gain power over the sitting king of Scotland. Macbeth opens at Nu Metro on 8 April 2016.

SHAPE

A comedy of vanity, sex and race, and it all takes place at the gym! Shape casts a sharp and satirical eye on three characters whose only common ground lies in their membership of a Joburg gym. The play explores their typically South African concerns: race, gender, politics… and the quest for tighter abs and, perhaps, romance. Written by Steven Boykey Sidley and Kate Sidley, and directed by award-winning Greg Homann, Shape is an astute and hilarious perspective on how we see each other in our strange country. Catch Shape at the Theatre On The Square from 29 March to 16 April.

E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Fearing the actions of a god-like Super Hero left unchecked, Gotham City’s own formidable, forceful vigilante takes on Metropolis’s most revered, modernday saviour, while the world wrestles with what sort of hero it really needs. And with Batman and Superman at war with one another, a new threat quickly arises, putting mankind in greater danger than it’s ever known before. Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice open at Nu Metro on 24 March 2016.

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MUSIC

EOA MUSIC

A VERY SPECIAL EVENING WITH JOSH GROBAN

Josh Groban returns to South Africa in support of his number one album Stages, with performances in Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town in April 2016. Presented by KFM, East Coast Radio and Kyknet. From 8 to 13 April 2016. For more information, visit Computicket.

MARIAH CAREY – The Sweet Sweet Fantasy Tour South Africa welcomes Mariah Carey for the very first time. Winner of five Grammy Awards and 11 American Music Awards, Mimi’s fans in Cape Town, Durban and Johannesburg can look forward to pitch perfect performances by MC herself. From 26 April to 2 May. For more information, visit Computicket.

MUSIC LOVERS BEHOLD!

BECOMING

Stacy Barthe (Universal Music) What is music if it doesn’t connect with you? With this album, Stacy Barthe uses her powerful vocals to transform her pain into songs that uplift and inspire you. The achingly beautiful Becoming is Barthe’s full-length debut album for Motown Records and explores the complexity of the human condition.

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SEX, LOVE & PAIN II RICK ROSS Tank (Warner Music SA) Contemporary R&B singer Tank is back with the highly anticipated follow-up album to his Sex, Love & Pain album in 2007, which debuted at Number Two on the charts, selling over 100 000 units in its first week. Sex, Love & Pain II features artists like Chris Brown, Sage The Gemini, Yo Gotti, and many more. This time around, Tank shows us a different side of his musical artistry, so you don’t want to miss out.

Black Market (Universal Music) Multi-platinum selling, Grammy®-nominated hip-hop magnate Ricky Rozay, whose brand new single Sorry featuring Chris Brown has turned into one of the fastest growing singles of his career, is back. As a man who once wore a pinky ring that cost “twice America’s average household income”, Ross scaled down in 2014’s Mastermind, making room for a more contemplative mood featuring more R&B than rap. He bares his soul to his fans as he examines the risks of success as intensely as he celebrates them.

THE RETURN OF THE TENDER LOVER

BabyFace (Universal Music) Back in 1989, BabyFace entered the pop mainstream with Tender Love after years of playing in R&B groups and writing songs with L.A. Reid for acts like Bobby Brown. Many years later, he’s back dreaming about the good old days. Without featuring fellow R&B artists like El DeBarge (Walking On Air) and After 7 (I Want You), this album wouldn’t be a proper throwback that flirts with gospel.

THIS THING CALLED LIFE

August Alsina (Universal Music) BET Award-winner for Best New Artist, August Alsina has released his second album This Thing Called Up – a followup to his critically acclaimed debut Testimony. This album builds on the success of Testimony, an inspirational tale of survival in one of America’s most treacherous cities and immediately hit the Number One spot on iTunes Top Albums chart upon its release. E

WORDS: THINA MTHEMBU. IMAGES: WARNER MUSIC SA, UNIVERSAL MUSIC, COMPUTICKET.COM.

Since autumn is a season all about finding contentment, do so at home with some of the best tunes.

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HOROSCOPES EOA

AQUARIUS 21 January – 19 February Learn something that empowers you this month. Whether it’s getting more techsavvy or discovering something you didn’t know about love, prepare for a mindblowing revelation. Reconsider your daily routines too to make them count, rather than continuing to just go through the motions. CAPRICORN 22 December – 20 January Now is your chance for change at home or with habits that you thought were just you being you. Rethink a love or creative connection along with empty friendships or dreams that have passed their sell-by date and you’ll soon be flying high – without excess emotional baggage.

PISCES 20 February – 20 March Opportunities arise to fine-tune your world now, especially relationships, friendships and aspirations. Your career can wait, but will be all the better for these rejigs that reveal the real transformation you need to make you stand out as your own unique, flawed but fabulous self.

ARIES 21 March – 20 April Make revamping your style a priority now and dip into the past for a retro look to pep up your future. Your budget could also do with a rethink, as would your personal philosophy. Backing down rather than getting your back up will win you more friends and admirers, especially at work.

TAURUS 21 April – 21 May You have options this month, but what seems perfect at first could make way for something even better. Relationships also fill you with a sense of settled contentment or a feeling of completion that makes you restless. By next month you’ll know exactly what the right choice is.

YOUR MONTH IN THE STARS

GEMINI 22 May – 21 June A situation comes full circle in your career or with a health or fitness goal now, so it’s an ideal month to launch new plans. Friends are on your side, but close partners and family not so much. Even so, you have the guts to go for glory – just be sure the finances all add up. CANCER 22 June – 23 July You’re in the mood for work rather than play now. With relationships and well-being slipping back into old habits, it’s time to get your act together. Revamp your ambitions too, as big dreams may just need minor adjustments so you can file them under ‘mission accomplished’.

WORDS: STELLA NOVA. IMAGE: JODIEGEARING.COM.

Your gemstone is the diamond, a symbol of fearlessness and invincibility. SAGITTARIUS 23 November – 21 December Romance is moving in the right direction, but if you have déjà vu elsewhere it’s because life is in reverse, offering you a second chance to get things right. You know better now than to run before you can walk, and to patch up any loopholes rather than try to slip through them.

E SSAYS OF A F R I C A

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SCORPIO 24 October – 22 November A new way of working or working out could change your world this month. Rest, recuperation and revamps are advised with your income, friends, ambitions and any communications with loved ones or business partners. A well-earned break now ensures that you’ll come back fighting fit in May.

LIBRA 24 September – 23 October If you’ve been doing all the pursuing with a romance lately, ease up and let the texts, calls or online ‘likes’ come to you. You might also decide to switch things up at home. Finances could reach a pivotal stage now, but by next month you’ll seize upon a satisfactory solution.

VIRGO 24 August – 23 September Life has been full on for you lately, so this month just chill out and get your home life and romance into perspective. The first signs of recovery will be with your finances and your libido. Once these are in working order by mid-May, everything else will fall into place.

LEO 24 July – 23 August Travel, a long-distance romance, or a lifealtering epiphany could surface for you this month. Home could feel like an emotional no-go area, so be sure to get some head space to help you work out your next step. Finances could be flaky now, so make a budget and stick to it.

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EOA STOCKISTS

0860 576 576, Home.co.za

CASTELO

011 883 8767

CLICKS STORES

021 460 1911

CORICRAFT

011 611 8700, Coricraft.co.za

DAINTYFROCKS

078 277 5963

DIS-CHEM STORES

011 589 2200

D’ORÉ

011 783 7316/8

EDGARS

0800 203 925

FOREVER NEW

011 883 4585

FOSCHINI

021 938 7666

G-STAR

011 784 0321

GUESS

011 883 8391

H&M

011 592 3200

KAREN MILLEN

011 784 2937

LOOT

Loot.co.za

MANGO

011 783 9707

MIMCO

011 290 5200

MRP PRETTY BALLERINAS RED SQUARE RIVER ISLAND ROBERT THOMSON SPREE

Mrp.co.za 011 325 5411 Redsquare.co.za 011 214 7781 021 713 0082, Robert-thomson.com Spree.co.za

STUTTAFORDS

011 879 1000

TED BAKER

011 450 1156

TOPSHOP

011 658 7070

TIGER OF SWEDEN

011 784 0561

TRUWORTHS

021 460 2300

WEYLANDTS

021 914 1433 or 0860 103 400

WOOLWORTHS ZANDO ZARA

011 290 1011 Zando.co.za 011 302 1500

Photographer: Gareth Jacobs. Hair & Make-Up Artist: NOMSA MADIDA. Styled by: Tumi Mdluli. Fashion by: GERT-JOHAN COETZEE.

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