“We’re Just D “
H I G H E R
T H I N G S __ 14
I
know he’s not Lutheran, but we’re just dating, Dad. It’s not like I am going to marry him.” So went the fateful words of my wife as a teenager. Her father had expressed some concern over who she was dating. I was the “non-Lutheran” who she was “just dating” and not going to marry.Twenty-five years and three children later, one could easily question her ability to predict the future! Fortunately for us (and I admit some prejudice here), things have worked out well. I became Lutheran, and with Christ and His Sacraments at the center of our relationship, our marriage has remained strong. My situation is not that unusual though.While at one time dating someone of another faith was rare, this is not the case today. Our current culture encourages minimizing the differences between both religions and denominations. If you’re a teen, you’ll likely face dating someone outside your own faith, if you haven’t already. The concerns, however, are real and not just your parents’ hangups. As my own circumstance shows, the “we’re just dating, Dad” approach, although spoken with all sincerity at the time, frequently leads to a more serious relationship: marriage. That is really the issue. Dating is not purely a recreational activity. It leads to marriage. Granted, this is not always one hundred percent true, but marriage is, after all, the point of dating. So, who should believers date? One might think that a quick trip to the Bible would answer all of our questions. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.The Scriptures offer very little (if any) direct dating advice. Consequently, we look at passages about marriage and sort of back in to the whole dating thing.Yet, here too things are not so cut and dry. Deuteronomy 7:3 seems clear enough. Moses warns God’s people about the unbelievers living in the land:“Do not intermarry with them” (NIV).There seems to be no fuzz on that. However, just a few short chapters away in Deuteronomy 21:10–11, Moses permits believing soldiers to marry unbelievers. So, the rule in the Old Testament does not appear to be absolute. Likewise, in the New Testament, much of what we have held as clear is not. 2 Corinthians 6:14–16 speaks of being “unequally yoked.” Many Christians see this as the final word on marrying an unbeliever. Don’t do it. End of subject. However, the context does not address the topic of marriage at all. Even Martin Luther didn’t completely rule out marriage between believers and unbelievers. In his 1522 essay entitled The Estate of Marriage, Luther wrote,“Just as I may eat, drink, sleep, walk, ride with, buy
