You can’t live without your liver, but you can live without parts of it. You can live with half a liver and the other half will grow back.

Fabulous (Horrific) Dad Jokes (Yes, it’s a trilogy now)

by Sophia Liu, 804

H: Why would doors do well on social media? Everyone looks for their handles.

I: How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.

J: Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize. Q: Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.

R: Want to know why nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.

S: Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

T: The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

I know that everybody is ecstatic that we have even more dad jokes. Of course, as always, they are in alphabetical order. I hope that these get some laughter out of you during these tough times. K: What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

L: Where was the dripping coming from in the fridge? The leeks.

M: What animals are the best to call if you get locked out of your house? Monkeys.

N: Do you wanna box for your leftovers? No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

O: What kind of bird is always getting hurt? The owl. U: What street do unicorns live on? Mane Street.

A: What did the baker say when she won an award? “It was a piece of cake.”

B: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.

C: What kind of music do chiropractors listen to? Hip pop. V: I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!

W: If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?

X: Had to wait ages for my X-ray today at the hospital. There was only a skeleton staff working.

D: How can you tell it's a dogwood tree? By its bark.

E: Why do people take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one!

F: What’s the most patriotic sport? Flag football.

G: What did the sapphire’s best friend tell her? “You’re a real gem.” P: Why was the hockey player given a new cap? He was known for his hat tricks. Y: What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen.

Z: What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt.