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Misconceptions of Parenting Parents can have common misperceptions about parenting. By the time they make it into my office they are discouraged about their role as a parent. They usually subscribe to some myths that keep them in a state of confusion. Myth #1: You need to be a friend to your child. Truth: A child needs you to be a parent. Although your relationship can certainly have friendship-like qualities, you and your child are not equal; therefore, you can’t truly be a friend to your child. As a parent you are in the driver’s seat and your children need to know that you are in control of their lives. Even though you give them choices, you are ultimately the decision-maker. This lays the foundation for safety and security. I’ve seen parents who wanted to be friends with their child so they backed down from rules, consequences, and punishments which in the long run did a disservice to their child. Myth #2: You wanted children so that someone would love you back. Truth: Childrearing can bring a great deal of self-satisfaction and yet it is challenging, and it evokes lots of emotional reactions. There will be days when you will have polarized feelings about your child. One minute you love him and the next minute you may find yourself wishing you could trade him in for another child. It is normal to have those feelings, but healthy parenting requires that you learn how to neutralize your angry feelings and not take things personally. Myth #3: It’s not how much time I spend with my child, but how I spend our time together that counts. Truth: In today’s fast-paced society, kids need to spend daily chunks of time with their parents. Life can be hectic and family time like sitting down to dinner affords a child an opportunity to de-stress and debrief. If your only oneon-one time with your child is traveling back and forth from activities, your child misses’
opportunities “to be.” He will be distracted by the business of his life. As you assess the quality and quantity of your relationships with your child, you must constantly work toward providing: • Downtime • One on one time • Family time
Carol Juergensen Sheets
When you provide these types of opportunities, a child has a better chance of getting both quality and quantity. Myth #4: Your child’s needs should come first. Truth: It’s a delicate balance that you have to be able to meet your needs simultaneously with that of your child’s. Although it can feel like a juggling act, it is imperative that you replenish your needs so that you have something to give to your child. I frequently see two types of “extreme parents” in my office. I work with parents who put their children’s needs on the forefront and cater to them one hundred percent of the time. Their world revolves around their children. They have lost the balance in their own life. The other type of “extreme parent” puts their own needs before the needs of their child. The parent frequently leaves the child to fend for himself, fitting the child into his/her life as opposed to doing the opposite. The parent finds others to provide for the child and does not have the capacity to care for others. If you believe that you subscribe to any of these myths, spend some time looking at how you can change your thinking and behaviors to support a healthier relationship with your child. Follow these foundational principals and watch the relationship grow!
Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services--contact her at www. carolthecoach.com or call her at 317 218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR’s Channel 13 Wednesdays @ 12:50PM. Please say “I found it in the IndyKids’Directory!” Thanks!
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& Access Behavioral Solutions Clinic www.accessbehavioralsolutions.com Info@accessbehavioralsolutions.com 317.802.7447
Access Behavioral Solutions is making ABA services available by bringing the therapy to you- in your home, in your community, or in the clinic.
Applied Behavior Center for Autism Pgs 8, 9 & 16
7901 E. 88th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46256 The Applied Behavior Center for Autism is Indiana's longest running ABA provider. With over 20 years of service, ABC is building brighter futures every day. Each of our center offers unique attributes that allows us to provide high quality treatment to children and teens with autism spectrum disorder. With locations in Greenwood, Carmel, Castleton, Terre Haute, Richmond, and West Indianapolis we offer ABA therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, diagnostic testing, special needs swim lessons, and so much more! We are now enrolling for part-time and full-time schedules. Find us on social @ABCforAutism to learn more.
www.AppliedBehaviorCenter.org info@ AppliedBehaviorCenter.org 317-849-5437
ProudSponsorsof Resources for Special Needs Natural Valley Ranch www.NaturalValleyRanch.com www.NaturalValleyTherapeuticRiding.org Marie@NaturalValleyRanch.com 317-509-3577 Birthday Parties, Trail Rides, Lessons, Petting Zoo Hayride/Bonfire, Therapeutic Riding
Phoenix Karate www.phoenixrisingkarate.com 317-228-1872
Martial arts are great for children! A psychological study found that children in martial arts have an increased sense of responsibility, a decrease in the willingness to take foolish risks, and a higher sense of self-esteem.
St. Joseph Institute for the Deaf Pg. 3 www.sjid.org 317.471.8560 Leaders in Listening and Spoken Language.
Supervision Infrared Sauna SupervisionWeightLoss.com 317-849-8446 For treatment of autism.
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Healing through Arts and Education Throughout COVID-19, Ascension St. Vincent has adapted and enhanced existing programs and services to ensure that patients and healthcare heroes are cared for in mind, body, and spirit. Here are highlights of the good work being completed by two programs thanks to donor support of the Ascension St. Vincent Foundation. The Healing Arts Program at Ascension St. Vincent is dedicated to promoting holistic healing through a combination of visual art, music and dance/movement interventions. The program has expanded its normal efforts to support healing throughout COVID-19. • Positivity Boards were introduced around the hospital to bring color, encouraging messages, and uplifting information to patient units. • A fun “Sneeze, Blow, and Throw” song was created to teach hospitalized children the ways to keep themselves and other people safe when they sneeze or cough. • Legacy Prints have been made to help comfort families who lost a loved one to COVID-19, including a digital thumbprint to be shared with family members as a lasting memory. In addition to helping patients, the Healing Arts Program also supports Ascension St. Vincent associates through activities that provide encouragement and stress relief. Along with spiritual care teams, the Healing Arts Program introduced a new “Code Lavender” protocol to provide focused support for associates when they have been involved in a stressful event at the hospital. Carts have been placed in units and include items such as art materials, aromatherapy, scripture, meditation guides, deep breathing exercises, and resources for virtual support. Another crucial program funded by the 14
supporters of the Ascension St. Vincent Foundation is the School Program at Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital at Ascension St. Vincent. This program addresses the educational needs of many patients who are missing time from school as a result of their hospitalization through an on-site school program. The comprehensive assistance provided by the school program helps provide a sense of stability to patients as they battle their respective health issues. The ultimate goal is for all patients who require educational instruction or assistance during their hospitalization to successfully re-acclimate to their home schools with minimal difficulty. When COVID-19 shut down schools in the spring, Peyton Manning Children’s Hospital’s licensed teacher, Heather Wiselogle, began to teach remotely, using tools like Zoom and Skype. She developed creative ways to engage students and continued seeing as many students online as she was seeing in person. Through the Paws to Read program, students were able to read their favorite books to therapy dogs virtually. Heather also helped some high school seniors as they were dealing with the challenges of both online learning and their own health conditions during their final semester. She wrote letters of recommendation for scholarships and assisted with requests for accommodations for college. Funding of programs like Healing Arts and the School Program is crucial in supporting the needs of our patients and healthcare heroes. To learn more about Healing Arts, the School Program, and additional programs funded by the Ascension St. Vincent Foundation, visit give.stvincent.org or call 317-338-2338.
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