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Boundaries Start With Changing You It is human nature to want to change other people. Women frequently come in seeking advice about how to get another person to change. They either complain that their loved one’s behavior has changed Carol Juergensen Sheets for the worse or that they had hoped their behavior WOULD change and it has not. The naïve part of them believed that they could get them to change. If you are faced with this dilemma you have two choices—either you need to accept them exactly as they are, or YOU do the changing yourself. Reinhold Niebuhr says it best in The Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This saying is a guideline for improving the quality of your relationships with others. Stated simply, we can’t change others, we can only change ourselves. The easiest way to do that is to work on our own personal sense of boundaries. Boundaries are important. They help you define who you are by setting limits. They help you to determine what behaviors are acceptable or unacceptable. You may not be able to control the behavior, but you can control how you handle a situation. It empowers you to teach others what you will tolerate or accept in their behavior. Invariably, when I help people to establish better boundaries they are less affected by others. They handle situations better and feel a greater sense of control. People come into the office with common
problems that require a shift in their boundaries: • A woman’s boyfriend is dependent on her. She supports him financially and pays for their apartment, their utilities, and all of their meals. She can’t make him get a better job or get him to offer to pay for dinner, but she can tell him that she is no longer going to be his bank and from now on he will be expected to contribute a weekly sum to their apartment and utilities or he will have to leave. • A mother describes a teen that is disrespectful, sneaks out of the house and takes money from his parents. This parent can set consequences; call the authorities, walk away, stop providing privileges. • The boss expects you to work 80 hours per week to compensate for the shortage of staff or the increased workload. You can discuss with the boss the need for more manpower or request that work be delegated to others. If the requests are ignored, you can either begin to go home at the appropriate times and create his own boundaries or look for a new job. As you can see, the consequences don’t mean that you get the outcome that you want; it just means that you have set guidelines for yourself to be respected. When women get good at setting healthy boundaries they begin to see that others respond to them with a new sense of respect. Inevitably, when you change your behavior it does change the situation. Healthy boundaries keep you from doing too much or from being mistreated. What boundaries need adjusting in your life? Do you have a particular situation that causes you great discomfort? Make a list of healthy versus unhealthy behaviors that you need to work on. And then decide how you can change your behavior. The quality of your life depends on it!
Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services--contact her at www.carolthecoach.com or call her at 317 218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR’s Channel 13 Wednesdays @ 12:50PM. Please say “I found it in Indy Metro Woman Magazine!” Thanks!
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July 2021
July 1 – July 4th Lights Over Morse Lake About Lights Over Morse Lake FestivalFireworks, parade, Huseman's carnival, golf cart poker run, craft and food vendors, volleyball tournament, live music and classic car cruisein.
Jul 4th Westfield Rocks the 4th Come out to Westfield Rocks the 4th for our city's 4th of July celebration! There is so much to do for the entire family! This year we will be having over 20 food and retail vendors, face... Read more on Visit Hamilton County, IN
Sun, Jul 4, 4:30 – 9:00 PM Fit 4 the 4th
Who is ready for warm weather & outdoor classes? • Summer is right around the corner & we are SO EXCITED to get back outside. In preparation, we will be turning our studios into a summer oasis on.
July 4 Concert Brownsburg Town Hall
Please call before attending any community events. It is likely that they will be postponed or canceled as a result of the coronavirus. You can find CDC coronavirus information at... Read more on AARP Near You
July 4 Downtown Olly's Summer Concert Series:
Independence Day firework displays. Join the party ahead of time with Sean Baker joined by a full band! we will also have a full bar...Read more on Downtown Indy, Inc. Fri, Jul 2 – Sun, Jul 4 in 17 days
July 2nd -July 4th Fishers, IN Star Spangled Symphony
Pack your picnic and wear your red, white, and blue for the ISO’s annual celebration of America. The ISO will salute all branches of the U.S. Armed Forces each night. Our summertime tradition...Read more on Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra
July 4th Noblesville Fourth of July Fireworks Festival and Parade
July 4th festivities will return to Forest Park and will last from 6-10 p.m. with live music on the main stage by headliner Boy Band Review from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. The grand finale of the day will...Read more on Visit Hamilton County, IN
July 4t -Monday July 5th Carmel Fest
CarmelFest has something for everyone with our patriotic parade, spectacular fireworks, fantastic entertainment, festival food and marketplace shopping. Join us! Read more on Visit Hamilton County, IN
Downtown Olly’s has one of the best views of the Indianapolis 10
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Calendar of Events
July 8th Though July 18th Indiana Black Expo Summer Celebration
601 North Shortridge Road Indianapolis, IN 46219 Location: Indiana Convention Center Time: All Day July 8th Join us the night before Jimmy Buffet, for a safe night of good vibes at Sleepybear Campground Come tailgate with us before walking to the show, followed by camping out after- right across the street from Ruoff Music Center, or as we will like to call it- Deer Creek Music Center! Capacity will be limited, so don't wait to score your passes! Campsites are first-come, first-serve. All ages welcome! Sleepybear Campground events will go on no matter what- rain or shine, concert or no concert. We will do our best to provide you with a great camping experience Park Ranger Pete.
Through July 25 Dora the Explorer at the Childrens Museum
Come on! ¡Vámonos! Nickelodeon’s Dora and Diego—Let’s Explore! takes you on an active adventure in the enchanting world of Dora the Explorer, her animal-rescuing cousin Diego, and their friends. Presented in both Spanish and English, you can explore these areas as you learn and play along: 2021 IndyPL Summer Reading Program During the 2021 Indy Public Libraries Summer Reading Program, participants earn prizes through reading and bonus activities. In-person and online programs and workshops will be available throughout the summer, including book discussions, animal meet and greets, kids trivia, and chef classes.
July 9th _ 11th Popcon Indy 2021PopCon
Indy was founded to celebrate all aspects of pop culture, rather than just hyper-focusing on a specific genre. We have a wide variety of interests – just like our fans – so we created a Con to celebrate them all in one awesome weekend! Are you a woman’s organization or having an event just for women? Are you a non-profit organization with a special event? Email info@indymetrowoman.com and send us the details for our monthly calendar by the 5th of each month for the following month’s issue. You can also go to www.indymetrowoman.com and post your event on our community calendar. Please say “I found it in Indy Metro Woman Magazine!” Thanks!
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Meals on Wheels of Central Indiana is more than a home meal delivery service; it is the only provider of medically-tailored meals to the area’s homebound and chronically-ill community. These meals are prepared by Central Indiana’s world class healthcare institutions and delivered each weekday by our volunteers. At Meals on WheeIs’ core is the belief that food is medicine. Their clients receive meals that are prescribed by their physician, taking out the guesswork when trying to meet their dietary needs. Most special diets can be accommodated (i.e. heart healthy, diabetic, low sodium, renal, etc.). Malnutrition is costly for the healthcare system and studies show that access to nutritious meals improves health outcomes, lowers healthcare costs, and improves the quality of patient care. Simply put, medically-tailored, home-delivered meals are high-impact and low-cost for homebound and chronically-ill neighbors. At the beginning of the year, Meals on Wheels could not have known just how quickly the organization would be thrust into the front-lines of a global pandemic. COVID-19 exacerbated the financial and logistical challenges in accessing food, and the program became a critically necessary resource. As the impact of the pandemic deepened
and spread, so did the anxiety among many of our clients, wondering if they will get their meals or if they should let anyone into their homes. With the recent implementation of a “no-touch” delivery protocol, Meals on Wheels is creating a safer home for the client by limiting outside exposure; and additionally, reducing the needs of personal transportation. Throughout these unprecedented times, Meals on Wheels can be proud that they have had zero delivery disruptions and in fact, were able to step up by serving additional family members in the household also adversely affected by COVID-19. Meals on Wheels of Central Indiana relies on the generous support of individuals, corporations, foundations, and grants for the majority of funds that make their mission possible. In fact, 88 cents of every dollar go to clients through their Virginia Wesley Financial Assistance Fund, which means your donations will have an immediate impact on their clients. Meals on Wheels also has a community of individual and corporate volunteer delivery drivers who are the backbone of their organization. Your time is as valuable as your treasure and they welcome both. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact their Volunteer Development Director, Barb Renshaw at brenshaw@ mealsonwheelsindy.org. To learn more about their program and ways you can donate, please visit www.mealsonwheelsindy.org.
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Coburn Place: 25 Years of Empowering Survivors “Everyone deserves a safe home,” says Coburn Place CEO Julia Kathary. “And that’s where we start.” Coburn Place has been serving survivors since 1996 and has provided lifechanging support to more than 4,000 people since then. In 2011, Coburn Place became the first residential domestic violence program in Indiana to implement a voluntary, trauma-informed model of service delivery. “Our programs and services are designed to empower clients on their journey and partner with them along the way,” says Kathary. It’s a success. In 2019, a team from Michigan State University studied Coburn Place and titled it “Coburn Place: An Exemplar of the Domestic Violence Transitional Housing Model.” One in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Annually, 15.5 million children live in homes where domestic violence occurs. At any given time, more than 150 people are on the Coburn Place wait list, and during the pandemic, the need for services has soared. In 2020, Coburn Place served nearly 400 adult survivors of interpersonal abuse and more than 400 children. Seventy-eight adults and children moved into 35 fully furnished apartments in its historic building on 38th Street. Coburn Place advocates placed an additional 200 adults and children in safe housing in the community. Survivors can stay in an apartment at Coburn Place rent- and utility-free for up to 24 months. They are encouraged to save those funds toward their permanent housing and selfsufficiency One program graduate, LaToya, says “Coburn Place is transitional housing, and it's exactly what I did. I transitioned into a stronger and better woman for myself and my kids.” Clients dealing with less severe safety, selfsufficiency and housing barriers can receive up to 12 months of rental assistance in communitybased housing, allowing them to get back on their feet in a short amount of time.
Well-being and children’s services are available to survivors in the building, in community-based housing and on the wait list, and to program graduates. Coburn Place offers support groups, individual and family therapy, financial literacy and employment help, budget-stretching direct aid for food, medical and transportation assistance, and more. About a quarter of the clients who graduated from Coburn Place programs saw an increase in their employment income, either from new job placement or improved career skills. For children of survivors, Coburn Place has indoor and outdoor play spaces, support groups, homework help and tutoring, healthy relationship classes, field trips, after-school programs and school break camps – all crucial to breaking the cycle of violence. “Coburn Place saved my life,” says Juana, a program graduate. “When someone doesn’t have a support system and then all of a sudden a whole building of people are there for you it changes your life. Because of Coburn Place, I learned what I wanted and what I didn’t want in my life and how to fight for that.” “We are so proud to have empowered survivors and their children for the past 25 years,” says Kathary. “We’re constantly evolving to be a best-in-class program and a leader in the field to support our clients in the best possible way.” For more information on Coburn Place or to find out how you can help survivors and their children, visit coburnplace.org. If you need help, call (317) 923-5750 or text (317) 864-0832 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
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