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The Fantasy of a Healthy Relationship Do you know someone who is in love with the concept of love so much that they do not see the reality of their situation? The person that they are attracted to is not worthy of their love. You know Carol Juergensen Sheets the type. Has your friend conjured up, in their own mind, a scenario that reflects what they want the situation to be…as opposed to what it really is? Clients describe horrendous situations concerning how they are being treated by the person they love. I recently saw a man who was not being treated well by his wife. They had not had sex in months. She was always choosing her kids over him, berated him constantly and spent their money impulsively. After describing this dead-end relationship, he began to talk about how much they loved each other and about their plans for the future. Although he bemoaned about the lack of love in the relationship, he quickly went into denial and stated that all he wanted to do was help her work through her issues. He was clearly in love with the fantasy of love and was not clearly seeing the reality of his situation! This often occurs in dating. A woman will come in and report that she is still seeing Tom and that she is more in love than ever. As we explore the mutuality of the relationship, my client will describe the real scenario. Her boyfriend is not communicating. She does not hear from him for days and he has not invested anything financially or emotionally towards their relationship for months or possibly years. It appears that the
relationship is not dependable, yet my client seems to be “in love with being in love”, and she is getting nothing back in return. There is no reason to accept sub-standard behavior or “to accept the crumbs” just to have someone in your life. The first step to getting the love you want is to get honest with yourself and decide what you want from a partnership or a dating relationship. It is important to assess whether you can retrain your partner to be more reciprocal. Unfortunately, you have likely put up with the old behaviors for months or years. Therefore, the behavior is ingrained making redirecting or retraining tough. Practice being clear and direct with your loved one and let him or her know what your expectation looks like. It may be, “Tom if you don’t call me by midweek, I will no longer be available to you at midnight for a nightcap.” Or “Sally when you avoid my calls or refuse to make plans with me, I will need to make other plans.” To the unfaithful spouse, “If you continue to cheat on me, I will make the decision to seek an attorney and file for a formal separation because I will no longer put up with the third person in our relationship”. If your partner will not alter the behavior, it is time for you to seek professional guidance. If counseling is not helpful, you will have to make the difficult decision to end the relationship. This of course means that you will need to get healthy so that you do not repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship. All this work requires that you get out of denial and get honest with yourself about what you are not getting from your partner. “Being in love with being in love” is never enough to build a relationship.
Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services--contact her at www.carolthecoach.com or call her at 317 218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR’s Channel 13 Wednesdays @ 12:50PM. Please say “I found it in Indy Metro Woman Magazine!” Thanks!
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June 2021 June 1 – June 3 Donut Trail – 130 Penn Street, Downtown Westfield. Did you know National
Trails Day and National Donut Day are over the SAME weekend ? In celebration of these two holidays, come explore the trails with our unique Donut Trail activity! Before this deliciously fun weekend approaches, you will want to pick up a Donut Trail Passport! Each passport contains the rules, a map of all the sweet stops, and participating Donut Shops to redeem your prizes! Passports will be available at a later date.
June 2 – June 3 Bonsai Show – Garfield Park Conservatory and Gardens – 10 a.m. and 1. Join the Indianapolis Bonsai Club as they showcase their unique bonsai specimens. Club members will be available to answer your questions, and vendors will have plants and supplies available for sale. Cost: $4 per person, $10 per family 2 adults https://www. garfieldgardensconservatory.org/
June 2 Outrun the Sun Race Against Melanoma and Sunset Festival – Fort Harrison State Park – 4:30 p.m. The Outrun the Sun Race Against Melanoma is the largest evening event of its kind in the United States supporting melanoma education and research. The event includes a 5-mile timed run, 5K non-competitive run and a 1-mile fun run. Races are followed by the Sunset Festival with music, food and beverages and activities for children and adults. Proceeds benefit educational and research programs at Outrun the Sun, Inc. The race takes place at Lawton
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Loop Parade Grounds with courses through Fort Harrison State Park. https://www.visitindy.com/ indianapolis-outrun-the-sun
June 4 – 8 Science Camp for Girls – Conner Prairie. Join us for a week of tinkering, thinking and playing! Girls will explore science and engineering by creating their own designs, learning to build various inventions and discovering fun science activities. http://www. connerprairie.org/
FRIDAY JUNE 11TH ZOOBILATION 2021: BAYOU BASH ENJOY AN EVENING OF PURE INDULGENCE THAT'S JUST STEPS AWAY FROM THE CITY'S CENTER. In 2021,
Zoobilation will celebrate its 35th year. Zoobilation guests will sample the finest culinary creations from Central Indiana’s most popular restaurants, all vying for Zoobilation’s coveted people’s choice and blue-ribbon awards. Plus, attendees will sip cocktails, wines and other drinks, with beverages presented by Republic National Distributing Company and served at 15 public bars — all set amid the Indianapolis Zoo’s amazing animals and exhibits!
Friday June 11th and 12th This rain or shine outdoor garden tour is Friday, 5:00PM -7:30PM and on Saturday, June 12 from 11AM-4PM . In the event of a
dangerous weather cancellation, the rain date is Sunday, June 13 from 11AM -4PM. The four gardens include two back-to-back neighbors at one stop and two more gardens within ten minutes of driving time.
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Calendar of Events The tour can be done in any order. Tickets are available online (credit card), at the Monon Depot Museum (check, cash, or credit) or at the door (cash preferred). Tickets are nonrefundable, but transferrable.. Please present your printed form at the first entrance to receive your actual Garden Tour ticket. Restrooms will not be available.Tour gardens are located at: 3635 Emily Way Carmel, 721 1st Street NW Carmel. All Society Garden Tour includes four beautiful gardens around Carmel for enjoyment as you gather new ideas!
"OUR FATHER’S FAVORITES" – JUNE 18TH. Songs that our dads
loved and you will too! Join the fun at our special Carmel Drive-In Theatre. It’s June and that means honoring Dad! The ATI Co-Founders put together a night with songs inspired by their own Dads. It’s a real mix of Country, Folk Rock, tight harmonies and the stuff that makes you move your feet! So, grab a Dad and join us!oin us at our June Open House and Artist Reception at the Hub & Spoke Design Center.
Fri, June 18, 2021 5:00 PM – 8:30 PM EDT
Join High Frequency Arts at the beautiful new Hub & Spoke Design Center to experience the spring open house art exhibition. This quarter's exhibition features fine art and photography. More than fifty fine artists and makers will have their works on display and available for purchase. Featured artists include; Joy Mason, Freddie Kelvin, Kevin Bell, and Faith Blackwell, along with Craig Mullins and Sherry Haines presenting their "Neighbors"
exhibit. A line-up you won't want to miss! You can also shop at the High Frequency Arts gallery filled with fine art, prints, glassworks, fibers, jewelry, home decor, and more from artisans and makers. Live music by Cameron Hession, a cash bar, and refreshments will be provided.
Fri, June 18, 2021 5:00 PM – 8:30 PM EDT. Free for women
in business, advance registration is required. At the VIP Center, you are favored as a Women in Business. Allow us to honor you with an evening of nibbles & sips, connection with powerful business women, and inspiration to guide you through the week. Doors open at 5:30pm for registration in the Center
Tuesday June 22nd Purposeful Networking. Come for this one
hour, in-person event to network with other local business women in the Indianapolis and Hamilton County areas. Pinheads - Alley’s Alehous, 13825 Britton Park, Fishers, IN 46038
Are you a woman’s organization or having an event just for women? Are you a non-profit organization with a special event? Email info@indymetrowoman.com and send us the details for our monthly calendar by the 5th of each month for the following month’s issue. You can also go to www.indymetrowoman.com and post your event on our community calendar.
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Coburn Place: 25 Years of Empowering Survivors “Everyone deserves a safe home,” says Coburn Place CEO Julia Kathary. “And that’s where we start.” Coburn Place has been serving survivors since 1996 and has provided lifechanging support to more than 4,000 people since then. In 2011, Coburn Place became the first residential domestic violence program in Indiana to implement a voluntary, trauma-informed model of service delivery. “Our programs and services are designed to empower clients on their journey and partner with them along the way,” says Kathary. It’s a success. In 2019, a team from Michigan State University studied Coburn Place and titled it “Coburn Place: An Exemplar of the Domestic Violence Transitional Housing Model.” One in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Annually, 15.5 million children live in homes where domestic violence occurs. At any given time, more than 150 people are on the Coburn Place wait list, and during the pandemic, the need for services has soared. In 2020, Coburn Place served nearly 400 adult survivors of interpersonal abuse and more than 400 children. Seventy-eight adults and children moved into 35 fully furnished apartments in its historic building on 38th Street. Coburn Place advocates placed an additional 200 adults and children in safe housing in the community. Survivors can stay in an apartment at Coburn Place rent- and utility-free for up to 24 months. They are encouraged to save those funds toward their permanent housing and selfsufficiency One program graduate, LaToya, says “Coburn Place is transitional housing, and it's exactly what I did. I transitioned into a stronger and better woman for myself and my kids.” Clients dealing with less severe safety, selfsufficiency and housing barriers can receive up to 12 months of rental assistance in communitybased housing, allowing them to get back on their feet in a short amount of time. 12
Well-being and children’s services are available to survivors in the building, in community-based housing and on the wait list, and to program graduates. Coburn Place offers support groups, individual and family therapy, financial literacy and employment help, budget-stretching direct aid for food, medical and transportation assistance, and more. About a quarter of the clients who graduated from Coburn Place programs saw an increase in their employment income, either from new job placement or improved career skills. For children of survivors, Coburn Place has indoor and outdoor play spaces, support groups, homework help and tutoring, healthy relationship classes, field trips, after-school programs and school break camps – all crucial to breaking the cycle of violence. “Coburn Place saved my life,” says Juana, a program graduate. “When someone doesn’t have a support system and then all of a sudden a whole building of people are there for you it changes your life. Because of Coburn Place, I learned what I wanted and what I didn’t want in my life and how to fight for that.” “We are so proud to have empowered survivors and their children for the past 25 years,” says Kathary. “We’re constantly evolving to be a best-in-class program and a leader in the field to support our clients in the best possible way.” For more information on Coburn Place or to find out how you can help survivors and their children, visit coburnplace.org. If you need help, call (317) 923-5750 or text (317) 864-0832 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
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Meals on Wheels of Central Indiana is more than a home meal delivery service; it is the only provider of medically-tailored meals to the area’s homebound and chronically-ill community. These meals are prepared by Central Indiana’s world class healthcare institutions and delivered each weekday by our volunteers. At Meals on WheeIs’ core is the belief that food is medicine. Their clients receive meals that are prescribed by their physician, taking out the guesswork when trying to meet their dietary needs. Most special diets can be accommodated (i.e. heart healthy, diabetic, low sodium, renal, etc.). Malnutrition is costly for the healthcare system and studies show that access to nutritious meals improves health outcomes, lowers healthcare costs, and improves the quality of patient care. Simply put, medically-tailored, home-delivered meals are high-impact and low-cost for homebound and chronically-ill neighbors. At the beginning of the year, Meals on Wheels could not have known just how quickly the organization would be thrust into the front-lines of a global pandemic. COVID-19 exacerbated the financial and logistical challenges in accessing food, and the program became a critically necessary resource. As the impact of the pandemic deepened 14
and spread, so did the anxiety among many of our clients, wondering if they will get their meals or if they should let anyone into their homes. With the recent implementation of a “no-touch” delivery protocol, Meals on Wheels is creating a safer home for the client by limiting outside exposure; and additionally, reducing the needs of personal transportation. Throughout these unprecedented times, Meals on Wheels can be proud that they have had zero delivery disruptions and in fact, were able to step up by serving additional family members in the household also adversely affected by COVID-19. Meals on Wheels of Central Indiana relies on the generous support of individuals, corporations, foundations, and grants for the majority of funds that make their mission possible. In fact, 88 cents of every dollar go to clients through their Virginia Wesley Financial Assistance Fund, which means your donations will have an immediate impact on their clients. Meals on Wheels also has a community of individual and corporate volunteer delivery drivers who are the backbone of their organization. Your time is as valuable as your treasure and they welcome both. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact their Volunteer Development Director, Barb Renshaw at brenshaw@ mealsonwheelsindy.org. To learn more about their program and ways you can donate, please visit www.mealsonwheelsindy.org.
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