Grace Martin: “Screenslaver” (essay

Screenslaver

Grace Martin

Tired and unmotivated, I sat in the corner of my room as I repeatedly entered Zoom codes onto my screen until the hands on the clock informed me that three o’clock had arrived. Such were my COVID-19 days, similar to every other student across the country. For three months, I reluctantly opened my computer every day, only to mute my microphone and turn my camera off before reaching for my phone to scroll through TikTok. Early mornings became an increasingly challenging time for me to spark any type of motivation. As a result, I would sleep through my 8:00 a.m. calculus class and would wake up startled to my teacher yelling over the mic that class had ended. Before the pandemic, I maintained the discipline to show up on time to school daily; however, the idea of staying in bed throughout the day became far more tempting, and I often failed to wake up at a reasonable hour because of this. I could not help it. The new shows added to Netflix, addictive ten-second TikTok videos, enticing YouTube vlogs, and never-ending facetime calls with friends made sleep impossible.

A typical morning would go something like this: After difficult contemplation, I would remove the heavy blankets from over my tired body and slip my feet into my fuzzy slippers; this prevented the frigid floor from further refrigerating my already-frozen body. As I stood up, I recalled one of the delicious breakfast recipes I had watched on TikTok the night before. Totally disregarding my next class, I typed into the search bar, “Yummy breakfast ideas.” Then, I proceeded to the kitchen to create a fullcourse meal as my instructor was beginning to review for our final history exam.

One hour of screen time into my day. I finished my breakfast and switched off the TV just as my friend texted me as a reminder that we had a statistics test that day. I remember thinking, “Oh shoot! We have a test?!?” It had completely slipped my mind; I knew this test was important, but I was more focused on editing my new Instagram picture and hypnotized by the aesthetic of other VSCO feeds. Although I did not study, I felt relatively confident about the test considering I could use the internet to my advantage. I logged into Zoom, jumped into bed under the warmth of 66

my covers, and I began the exam. I could not help but notice one of the multiple group chats completely blowing up my phone. I quickly glanced at my phone, and then responded and proceeded to get dragged into conversation. Before I knew it, the timer had five minutes left and I had only just begun. In an attempt to finish, I aggressively scrolled through a multitude of online resources, yet was unable to find the answers I needed. Maybe if I had studied and put in the effort like I used to, I would have been able to finish; yet the idea of copying and pasting the questions into the search engine seemed extremely tempting and effortless. Two-and-a-half hours of screen time into my day. Later in the day I had AP physics—my most crucial and demanding class at the time. I would move to my desk to narrow my focus. I opened my laptop and naturally switched off my mic and camera. The note-taking began and I strove to be attentive; I was determined to grasp the content from class that day. Yet, to my chagrin, I soon found myself picking up my phone and checking for notifications, scrolling through my emails, and clicking on bikini ads for the upcoming summer; it was a never-ending cycle of distraction. I could not think clearly, my eyes began to sting, and my head began to pound like a thousand vibrations occurring simultaneously inside my brain. I looked down at my phone to check how much class time there was left and realized it was only 1:15 p.m.: it was only mid-afternoon.

Six hours of screen time into my day. The last class of the day was either physical education or a free period; it all depended on what letter day it was at my high school. Most days I forgot what letter day it was because my highly distracted self was more interested in the latest YouTube vlogs; hence, I would miss Physed class. This resulted in my grade dropping to a sixty-seven. I had missed four classes, was barely passing, and could have received detention. When I eventually realized I skipped class, I would shrug it off and continue to watch YouTube. I mean, it was only gym class, right?

Seven hours and forty-five minutes of screen time into my day. The lengthy screen time and consistent distractions were not only beginning to negatively impact my physical and mental health, but my GPA as well, the GPA that would soon be consulted among college admission counselors. Deep within, I knew my former organized self was slowly collapsing. If I hid my phone from myself, it felt as though I was being punished. I did not know how to stop this never-ending, downward spiral that was

destroying my hard work and the priorities by which I had once lived.

Nine hours of screen time into my day. Whenever I stepped outside of the four walls of my room, my phone always had a place in my pocket. This included leaving my room for family dinners where we would discuss our mundane, extensive days with each other. My ringer would go off in the middle of a conversation like a fire alarm disrupting all surrounding conversation. My legs would begin to shake, and my foot would aggressively tap the hard-wood floor beneath the table. I would grow antsy, and my instincts would tell me to pull out my phone to check the notification. This not only happened to me, but also to everyone in my family. My mother would have to ask my father to turn off the football game or ask us to put our phones down, but that would not stop our inevitable addiction to the technology surrounding us. We were addicts. Addicts to a programmed platform that reels us in with our interests and hobbies, while destroying our thought processing system and long-term focus.

Ten hours and forty-five minutes of screen time into my day. This was the total amount of time I spent glaring into not only one screen, but three screens in one day. As if we were not bad enough before the COVID-19 pandemic had begun, online learning continued to deepen our dependency on technology. My addiction grew stronger every day, constantly consuming my thoughts with endless distractions. I became a screenslaver, hypnotized by the enticing clothing advertisements, message notifications, or new TikTok recipes. I knew what I had become, yet I continued to grow stronger within my obsession. Society as a whole has become a network of screenslaves to a six-by-five-inch device. I do not know whether fully to blame this destructive obsession on the COVID-19 pandemic, because society was already encaptivated by the intriguing technological appliances beforehand. It was inevitable for society’s obsession to grow stronger. It is finally time to ask ourselves whether the dependency we have on technology is improving our lives or slowly demolishing them.

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