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Central Florida Edition May 2018
Smokin’ and Unfiltered
Dropping a hot new album, Sex & Cigarettes, Toni Braxton dishes
contents:
• What’s Hot in Central Florida • Hot Bodies
this month’s features: • Gay Days • Inside Hollywood • Frivolist
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• Barcodes • Tampa Pride After Parties
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....everything you need to plan your month
T’ and Un
in k o
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d i e r e n t l i o f Dropping a hot new album, Sex & Cigarettes, Toni Braxton dishes about her debut 25 years ago, nitpicky concert riders, and the diva duets that might’ve been. by chris azzopardi
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When you have seven Grammys and an iconic voice that can drop to ocean depths, it’s your God-given right to also have a nowings-in-my-dressing-room policy. This is Toni Braxton in 2018, still decrying the existence of pungent food in her midst before a concert. But sex? Cigars? Alkaline water? Unbreak Ms. Braxton’s heart with any of the above. While talking up her first solo album in eight years, Sex & Cigarettes, the 50-year-old R&B diva was in tell-all mode, whether the topic of discussion was the current generation’s outspoken female artists, the Mariah and Janet duets that might’ve been (thanks a lot, bankruptcy and babies!), or the secret — hint: nose job — behind hitting those famous notes. That album cover, Toni. You’re on fire. Thank you. I feel good about it. You know, I was hungry while I was doing that. That was a little hard. But I love the album cover. I thought [photographer and director] Randee St Nicholas’s choice of lighting was really superb. How would you describe your mood there? It’s self-explanatory with that title: I’m feeling like sex and cigarettes. I feel sexy, like I need a puff afterwards. You puff? I smoke cigars once or twice a year. Every year for my birthday I do, and sometimes around the holidays. Smoking is not my friend, with lupus and all, but you have to have a vice or two. A nice stogie, something I can chew. Something really hardy. You’re known for the deep end of your range, so a few puffs can’t hurt. My voice is naturally smoky. But when I do the cigars, it’s for my birthday, and I try not to work on my birthday. If I do [work], after my show I do a little puff-puff. Not a puffpuff-pass!
Some commenters on social media aren’t keen on what you’re wearing on the album cover. One wrote, “We as older women have to set an example for younger women.” Oh, that’s cute. It doesn’t really bother me. I think if you look good, you can wear it. Any age. For me, personally, I don’t wear midriffs. I think I’m too old to wear midriffs. To each his own. It’s just me, my body shape, I’m sure. But I work hard on my body — not just because I’m older, because I like to be in great health. And it’s OK for people to have their opinion. I have my opinion, too, on things that I probably shouldn’t. But I would never post it.
It’s OK for people to have their opinion. I have my opinion, too, on things that I probably shouldn’t. But I would never post it.” Can you talk about the pressure on you and other women to dress and look a certain way? Have those industry expectations changed with age? Gosh, you know, I feel forever 25. It’s kind of weird. Parts of me are 25. Probably. [Laughs.] I feel good about myself. In this industry, I would be disappointed if women [tried to tell other women how to dress]. I mean, guys don’t know, but women — we should embrace
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Do you have a #MeToo story? I don’t have a #MeToo story, thank goodness. I have close friends who have stories. Most of them have chosen not to talk about it because they have kids, and they’re like, “It’s behind me, but it happened to me too.” But I’m very lucky that I don’t have any stories like that. Going back to the elusiveness of ’90s artists: Did that stop you from being yourself? Early on I was allowed to be myself and express myself through fashion. I always kind of pushed the envelope on my sexuality. I think it’s definitely different rules for women, compared to rules for guys. And we had to ride the wave a little bit, the women of our generation; if we said anything, we were being a bitch. Of course now it’s just a term of endearment: “That bitch is hot.” And even now the word “diva” is coming back in style, and it’s OK to be a diva. It’s a great moment to be a girl. each other. I look at Madonna; she’s still doing it, and Madonna’s almost 60. Who cares? Or look at me, Janet [Jackson] or Halle Berry. We’re all in the same group. So, I think it’s all about how you feel about yourself. I like that now people look younger than their age. I think that people today really see people; they’re thinking [about] age less and aren’t thinking numbers. Numbers, to me, just determine how long you’ve been on the Earth. But I’m OK with it. The women’s movement, to me, is great. I’m excited about that part. Yeah? I’m really excited about that because my generation in the ’90s, when I peaked, when my career was at its height, we were taught to be a little aloof. You had to be mysterious. The younger generation, which I love, they’re my favorite because they speak as loud as they want. They’re like, “We will not be missed.” Rihanna, she’s my favorite. I just love that about the new generation. It’s just nice to live your life out loud. How are the #MeToo stories resonating with you? I think it’s good, I think it’s about time. It doesn’t only affect women, though. I mean, I’ve heard guys who’ve been in situations where they can say “me too,” but guys feel like they can’t say it. I like that people are [now] able to speak out about things that have happened to them, like, “We’re not having it anymore.” But as a woman, I’m proud of my species.
I think that people today really see people; they’re thinking about age less and aren’t thinking numbers.” Are you a diva? Oh, all of us are sometimes, absolutely. What are you most diva-ish about? I am very, very particular about my [set up] when I go on stage. I don’t like having to adjust my mic when I start performing. I think it’s tacky. Instead of starting off singing, you gotta adjust your mic because they think you’re 5’6”. I’m 5’1” and three-fourths. You would think my people would know that, but sometimes they forget. That doesn’t seem like too much to ask. It’s not like you’re requesting a specific brand of water. Well, I’m particular about that, too, sometimes. As long as it’s high alkaline, [I’m
OK], but I think the world is about that water now. But they know that, so they get it. I don’t really have this big rider [I attach to my contract for a performance]. I don’t have anything like that. But I don’t like food in my [dressing] room. Do not have food in my room! I do not want to go on stage smelling like food. About Sex & Cigarettes: I hear a lot of people have different takes on the title of your song “Deadwood,” and are asking you, “Toni, why is the wood dead?” Why do I have a hunch these people might be your gay friends? [Laughs.] Yes, they are. Tell me more. They were asking me that! But it’s just an appropriate title! I know what deadwood is; I lived in Maryland. And being in the suburbs, as kids, you would see the wood and kick it. “Don’t bring that deadwood in the house.” So, for me, it makes sense and it’s something you just disregard and throw away. You didn’t care about it. But a lot of people were asking me, “Why the wood dead?” And I guess they’ve got a point. You told me once that your gay boys make you a better girl. It’s so true. Sometimes I forget to be a girl; I forget to keep it feminine. But my boys remind me to be a girl, to be fabulous about it: “Why are you standing like that? Why are you standing with your shoulders down?” The little things. They just remind me to be a girl. I love it.
I don’t like food in my dressing room. Do not have food in my room! I do not want to go on stage smelling like food.”
The cover of your debut album, with your short hair, denim and that leather jacket, wasn’t exactly your most femme moment. That is true. That’s kind of the ’90s — when it was still coming off the ’80s. It was a bit more pookie then. Do you have a gay posse you have to consult before you release new music? It’s more about my look. My boys usually get my look together for me. I have height envy: I like a particular type of shoe so I can be taller. And they’ll go, “We have to find something [else] that will give you height because those platforms are out. Stop wearing those.” But I wanna be 5’6”. I try to keep it taller and keep current. But they say: “You gotta be ahead of the season, Toni. You can’t do that. We should do this look. OK, we’ll let you [wear] that little thing because that’s kind of indicative of who
Sometimes I forget to be a girl; I forget to keep it feminine. But my boys remind me to be a girl, to be fabulous about it.” you are as an artist, so we’ll give you that one dated thing.” They keep me up with the times. What was the last really dated thing you couldn’t live without? I wear sweatsuits with high-heeled shoes all the time. You’ll never catch me in a sweatsuit without a high-heeled shoe. I’ll never wear sneakers unless I’m going to the gym. 2018 marks your 25th year in the music business; your first album was released in 1993. I was a little gay boy when I bought it on cassette tape. You did not say cassette tape. That’s taking me back. What don’t people know about the making of your debut? Well, it was just before I got my nose job. Might be too much information, but yeah: We hadn’t finished the album, so I was singing with a fresh nose job, which [was] virtually impossible because it hurt so bad. I don’t know how they do nose jobs now; I think they do it from the inside. Well, [mine] was from the inside too, but you had to wear this little thing on it, and after they took it off, it was so sore. You can’t hardly move the skin between your nose and lips, and I remember it was really difficult to sing. Did it become easier to hit the high notes or the low notes after the nose job? The high notes got easier. I had rhinoplasty, but I also had sinus surgery. I know, everybody says that! But it’s really true. Mine was a nose job, but I lucked out, and my doctor fixed my sinuses as well. I didn’t go in there for my sinuses — no. I went in to get my nose fixed, and they also fixed my sinuses. So, I’m telling the truth. Truth: I went in for a nose job. OK, pumpkin?
What else? The jeans [on the cover] were really too big for me, and they were pretty much cabled in the back. That was a true story. So many little tidbits I could tell. Why did we get a Whitney and Mariah duet and never a Mariah and Toni duet? You know, Mariah reached out to me about doing a duet, but unfortunately, it was just before the bankruptcy was gonna happen [Braxton filed for bankruptcy in 1998, and again in 2010], but no one in the world knew. So when she asked me about doing a song together, immediately I wanted to say yes, but I couldn’t because of what was about to unfold. Why aren’t you calling her right now? I’m gonna have to do that. There was talk of me and Janet doing a song together, but she was pregnant. But, hey, maybe me and Mariah. We were neighbors for a second, so I probably should’ve reached out to her then, but it’s never too late. You’re actually gonna spark me to maybe talk to her about doing a remix or something. That’s actually a really good idea. What advice would “Sex & Cigarettes” Toni have for the Toni of 25 years ago? “Sex and Cigarettes” Toni would tell the Toni of 25 years ago to have more sex and smoke more cigars and have fun. And don’t be afraid to be a bitch.
uAs editor of Q Syndicate, the international
LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).
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Leather Night
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what’s hot
by scott holland
everything you need to know
to plan your month
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Welcome once again to the What’s Hot column, where we keep you in the loop with lots of important nightlife events in Tampa Bay, Orlando, and points in between. We’re also your connection to many activites and events organized by local LBGT service organizations and chambers of commerce. Want to know What’s Hot in May? Read more and find out! Friday, April 27
Timberly presents Bare Beef at Stonewall Orlando with hot dancers and DJs Jay Skinner and JB Burgos. This week
you can also expect a live appearance by video star Owen Powers plus giveaways all night from Paul Morris’ Treasure Island Media! Bare Beef is a new event at Stonewall the last Friday of each month from 9pm to 2am. This party is for men,
by men. Leather and fetish gear of all types is welcome. Wait, did we say welcome? Make that encouraged. Sunday, April 29
Orlando Unicorns presents “One Mighty Night,” a steamy male
revue at Southern Nights Orlando. Doors open at 7pm. Show’s at 8pm. Come watch these studs take it off! Admission is $20 in advance, $25 at the door. VIP couches available. This is an 18+ event! (Duh.) Friday, May 4
Bill Bellamy sets up shop at the Tampa Improv Comedy Theater and Restaurant from
tonight through Sunday, May 6. Using his experiences growing up in Newark, Bellamy started doing
stand-up while he was a student at Rutgers University and quickly discovered how much he enjoyed making people laugh. Bellamy began honing his skills at small comedy clubs around the country and was soon making waves in New York City clubs like The Improv and The Comic Strip as well as at The Comedy Store in Los Angeles. He’s been doing comedy now for three decades. Must be 21+ to enter; except on Fridays at 10:30pm, which is 18+. Tickets start at $25.
audiences who just can’t get enough of this BMOC of the Adam Sandler school of comedy. Don’t miss him in this exclusive, uncensored night of outrageous stand-up. Tickets start at $35.
Saturday, May 5
Southern Nights Tampa’s Savage Saturdays presents Taco Bouta Party, a Cinco De Mayo fiesta
featuring Scott Robert and DJ Ace Vedo. Midnight is showtime with your stars, Roxxxy Andrews and Jade Embers. This is an 18+ event. No cover before 10pm for 21+. Wednesday, May 9
James Taylor — and special guest Bonnie Raitt — are playing
two Central Florida arenas this week: Amway Center, May 9 and then the Amalie Arena on Saturday, May 12. Taylor and Raitt’s highly acclaimed tour, celebrating their decades-long friendship, played to sold-out crowds across the U.S. last summer. Over the course of his songwriting and performing career, Taylor has sold more than 100 million albums, earning gold, platinum, and multi-platinum awards. Bonnie Raitt is more than just a best-selling artist, respected guitarist, expressive singer, and accomplished songwriter, she has become an institution in American music. The tentime Grammy winner, who Rolling Stone named to both its “100 Greatest Singers of All Time” and “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time” lists, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000.
Friday, May 11 Dr. Phillips Center presents Patti LaBelle, the soulful songbird whose name is synonymous with grace, style, elegance, and class. Whether she’s belting out pop standards, classic rhythm-and-blues jams, or uplifting spiritual, Ms. Patti is sure to display the versatility she is known and revered for. Show starts at 8p.m. with tickets starting at $40.
Tim Meadows will be appearing at the Tampa Improv Comedy Theater and Restaurant tonight and tomorrow, Saturday, May 12. One of the longest-running cast members in the 41-year history of Saturday Night Live, versatile comedian Tim Meadows crafted some of the series’ most memorable characters during his 10 years on the popular latenight show. Since leaving SNL, Meadows has appeared in numerous films and made countless TV guest appearances. 21+ to enter; except on Fridays at 10:30pm, which is 18+. Tickets are $20.
The Straz Center for the Performing Arts presents Nick Swardson
at 8pm. Comedy Central staple and star of Netflix’s The Ridiculous Six and The Do-Over, Swardson delivers his highly popular, low-brow boy-amok shtick to worldwide
Saturday, May 12
The Straz Center for the Performing Arts presents Always & Forever:
An Evening of Luther Vandross, starring Ruben Studdard at 8pm. Luther lives on in this soulful, imaginative tribute by American Idol champion Studdard, who was dubbed “the next Luther” during his Idol run. Studdard transports audiences back in time to when Vandross reigned as the king of R&B, delivering swooning testimonials such as “Endless Love,” “A House is Not a Home,” “Superstar” and “Power of Love.” Studdard’s show-stopping staging and uncanny Luthericiousness makes Always & Forever an unforgettable concert experience. Tickets start at $35. Also at The Straz Center tonight: Darci Lynne and Friends Live at 7pm. From the moment they stepped onto the America’s Got Talent stage, singing ventriloquist Darci Lynne and her puppet Petunia stole the hearts of millions with their jaw-dropping rendition of “Summertime.” Now the youngest person to
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ever win AGT, 13-year-old Darci Lynne brings her eclectic, endearing cast of characters to stages around the country. Tickets start at $30.
Monday, May 14 Global superstar Justin Timberlake is making his highly anticipated return to the stage with The Man of The Woods Tour, which touches down twice in Central Florida this week: at the Amway Center tonight, and the Amalie Arena on Tuesday. In his latest tunes, Timberlake reflects on his recent journey into fatherhood and offers up personal insights into his layered life experiences. Tuesday, May 15 Dr. Phillips Center presents August Greene at 8pm. The perfect marriage of jazz, hip hop and soul, August Greene is the newly formed supergroup featuring Grammy-, Oscar-, Golden Globe- and Emmy-winning MC Common; Houston-born, Grammy Award–winning pianist and composer Robert Glasper; and world-renowned percussionist and producer Karriem Riggins. The synthesis of each artist’s talents into one cohesive project .Tickets start at $50.
Thursday, May 17
The Flamingo Resort presents their annual Bear Soup Mix, starting
today and running through Sunday May 20. This weekendlong event features: Drag Queen Bingo, Underwear Night, the Bear Soup Mixer, Country Line Dancing, Bear and Leather tents, a Bear and Leather party, Bear in Drag, Bear Soup Pool Party, Bear Bingo, Mr. Bear Soup Contest, and much more. For more information: bearsouptampa.com. Friday, May 18
Orlando Ballet presents “Fast Forward” at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. See the
award-winning repertory’s favorites by Robert Hill as well as new works by Gonzalo Espinoza and Olivier Munoz. “Fast Forward” showcases Orlando Ballet’s professional second company and preprofessional trainees. The show starts at 7:30pm. Tickets are just $15. Saturday, May 19
Southern Nights Tampa presents G.I. Joe’s Bootycamp: Armed Forces, a
military celebration featuring Scott Robert and DJ Ace Vedo. Be sure to stick around till midnight for showtime with Jade Embers, Roxxxy Andrews and guests. This is an 18+ event. No cover before 10pm for 21+.
Sunday, May 20 Latin music’s youth idol and box-office phenomenon, Maluma, who’s been selling out concerts throughout the world, brings his F.A.M.E. U.S.A. Tour to the Amway Center at 8pm.. At just 23 years of age, Maluma has taken the world by storm with his live shows: The young phenom racked up seven 2017 Latin Grammy® nominations and is the first artist to garner
three nominations in each of the the Latin Grammy top categories, including Record of the Year and Song of the Year. His highly-anticipated new album, “F.A.M.E.,” drops this month. Tickets start at $81. Saturday, May 26 Celebrate Memorial Day Weekend with Eureka O’Hara (RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10) at the Parliament House! General admission tix available at the door. VIP admission is $25, which includes a meet & greet/photo op. Expect shows by the Footlight Players at 10pm and 12am. DJ Brianna turns it out in the main room till 3am. Doors at 8pm. Seating starts at 9:30pm. 18+ welcome!
Wednesday, May 30 Superstar, icon, and one of the most successful artists in Latin American history, Luis Miguel, brings his ¡México Por Siempre! Tour to the Amway Center at 8:30pm. Tickets start at $77.
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Expect New Dates and a Fresh Host Hotel for GayDays in 2019 by scott holland
T
he very first GayDays at Walt Disney World was really just a GayDay: On the first Saturday in June 1991, hordes of LGBT folks and friends — proudly decked out in red t-shirts for visibility — descended on The Magic Kingdom for a day of fun and celebration. This spring’s event will be the 28th GayDays! And everybody knows the now nearly weeklong extravaganza touches down in Orlando every year at the same time, the week of the first Saturday in June. But for the last few weeks, we’d been hearing rumors that both the date and host hotel for GayDays 2019 might be changing, so we went straight to Chris Manley, who owns and produces GayDays with his partner Tommy, to get the skinny.
How did you get the idea to start GayDays? Actually, it was a grassroots effort 28 years ago by the community, and it took off the first year in the parks. It slowly grew every year. Tommy, my partner, bought the domain name, and we decided to start a full weekend. From the idea, how long did it take for you to produce the first year? That first year we did a host hotel and parties. How long did it take for the weekend to become successful? It took a few years for the GayDays weekend to really become what it is. In my opinion, it grew so big for several reasons: our dedication to delivering a quality product, the fact that Orlando was already a popular destination, and, believe it or not, other promoters popping up to host their own events also helped — that brought more people, which only made GayDays weekend even bigger.
What’s the most successful part of GayDays? The support that we give to nonprofits. Most attendees aren’t aware of us giving back, but I am definitely most proud of that because, in addition to a fun weekend, we are helping those in need. Another thing I’m proud of is the increased exposure we’ve given Orlando as a fantastic LGBTQ vacation destination. How did you come to the Doubletree Hotel at Universal, and how long have you been there? We were originally at the Summerville Suites. That was very small, so we moved to the Palace and then the Hotel Royal Plaza, where we were for nine years. In 2004 Hurricane Charley damaged the Royal Plaza, and it was closed for renovations, so we went to the DoubleTree in 2005, and sold it out in 3 months. It’s centrally located for all of Orlando’s attractions. After that, the management at DoubleTree got greedy, so we went back to the Royal Plaza. A couple years later, they went bankrupt, and DoubleTree wanted us back. And the rest is history. I hear you’re switching hotels next year. Why the change? Our weekend was booked right out from under us by the DoubleTree, so we had to move. We looked around the city, and we settled on the Wyndham Orlando Resort International Drive, which we believe our guests will love. It’s in the heart of Orlando’s tourist area. In addition to the restaurant in the hotel, there are five or six other restaurants on the same block. Also, there’s free parking, and 2/3 of the rooms have private balconies or, on the first floor, patios. I hear the dates are also changing. Why? In 2019 we are moving to August 13–18. The traditional week for GayDays was originally one of the weakest tourism weekends of the year for Orlando, so we could always get our guests good deals from the hotels. Today, that first week in June is one of the city’s busiest, and it’s hard to find a deal. Also, over the years we’ve gotten lots of feedback from educators and students who couldn’t come that first weekend of June. So, we thought the middle of summer would be better. The date change will open it up to more people. The later date will also
allow us to market to more Floridians at St. Pete Pride and the Stonewall Street Festival — and to Californians, too, at both L.A. and San Diego Prides. So, you believe the schedule and hotel changes will make GayDays better? We try and improve the events and increase customer satisfaction every year. I think the hotel’s location — with all the shops, restaurants and shows so close — will really take the weekend to the next level. There are so many fun things to do, just steps away. What does the future hold for GayDays? Hopefully, 28 more years! We’ll be opening reservations for GayDays 2019 on the Saturday of this June’s event. Beyond that, we are looking at a second city!
About Those New Digs: The Wyndham All of the Wyndham’s 613 smoke-free guestrooms have recently been renovated, and the design is sleek. Thoughtful touches, such as complimentary WiFi and in-room refrigerators, allow visitors to truly make the space their home base. The resort is pet friendly, so even furry members of the family — the ones who aren’t bears! — are welcome to join the fun. The Wyndham also features sparkling pools, a fitness center with sauna and steam room, and free shuttles to select nearby theme parks.
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by tom bonanti
A Truly Tremendous Triceps Routine
Triceps make up two-thirds of your upper arm, therefore it makes perfect sense that the bigger and more defined these babies are, the more massive your arms will look. The triceps are used in every pushing, pulling and lifting movement as well as the extension of the elbow and rotation of the forearm. Because of their larger size and their importance in just about every movement of the arm, you need to work tri’s longer and harder than biceps. Hit
triceps twice a week using 3-4 exercises of 3-4 sets of 8-12 repetitions. Use free weights for triceps to give you a better range of motion and produce a fuller muscle. Machines are great in a pinch, but once again, free weights get better results. Always make sure to stretch your triceps especially as you conclude the workout. Stretching helps bring out the separations and detail in the muscle.
Close-grip bench presses:
This exercise takes your triceps through their full range of motion. Lie face up on a flat bench, feet firmly planted on the floor. Take a barbell or E Z curl bar from the rack (or have your trainer or workout partner hand it to you). Use a narrow grip so that your hands are only 2-3 inches apart. Keeping your elbows close to your body, lower the weight to your lower sternum, and immediately push upwards. Always begin with a light warm-up set. This exercise is a great mass builder.
Triceps extensions:
Start this exercise by holding a lat machine bar with your hands 2-8 inches apart. Now press downwards from your chin until your arms are straight (just barely locking out the elbow). Return and repeat. Most bodybuilders keep their elbows tucked in at their sides during this movement. This exercise can also be performed with a rope instead of a straight bar or lat machine bar.
Lying triceps extensions or “skull crushers”:
Bent-over triceps kick backs:
Don’t be surprised if, upon examination, you find that one of your triceps is bigger or stronger than the other, this is common and this exercise will help build strength and symmetry in both arms. Hold a dumbbell in one hand and hold on to a rack or bench with the other hand. Raise and lower (kick back) the dumbbell at an even rate, keeping the upper arm in line with your torso and parallel to the floor. Keep your upper arm tight against your waist throughout.
Lie on your back on a flat bench and hold a barbell or E Z curl bar at arms length above you. Lower it slowly to the forehead and raise the bar again to arm’s length. This is a more advanced exercise and you may have to wait until your tri’s are ready for this one.
uTom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and massage therapist (MA#40288) with his own one on one facility www. pumpnincgym.com in Ft. Lauderdale. Contact trainertomb@aol.com with questions or to inquire about his services. Hotspots Central Florida
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deep inside hollywood
by romeo san vicente
We know Adam won’t disappoint, given his patented brand of charm and sass.”
Your Olympics Crush is Dancing with the Stars
photo: people.com
No, we didn’t say which Olympics crush. That’s because the upcoming all-athletes season of Dancing with the Stars features several recent popular Olympic athletes, and one of them is America’s Queer Sweetheart, the witty and fierce figure skater Adam Rippon. The other two, though not LGBT, are just as swoon-worthy, depending on your orientation: There’s softball power pitcher Jennifer Finch Daigle to entice the lesbians, and Chris Mazdzer, the stud-muffin luger whose scruffy appeal has been clocked by virtually all gay men with internet access. They’ll be joining problematic faves like Tonya Harding and fave-faves like Kareem AbdulJabbar. In other words, the competition is poised to rival the best seasons of the beloved (and, come on, really corny) series in terms of sheer physical power. Finally, we know Adam won’t disappoint, given his patented brand of charm and sass, so that’s reason enough to watch. Catch DWTS on ABC.
Kate McKinnon Is Currently in Talks for a Film with No Name
“In talks” is what they call contract negotiations over salary, and while those are being hammered out, let’s all agree that whatever amount SNL superstar Kate McKinnon is being offered should, just on principle, be doubled. She’s that appealing, even in films that aren’t (and she’s had a few of those). Good news, then, that the film she’s in talks to star in is from Love, Actually creator Richard Curtis and acclaimed director Danny Boyle (Trainspotting), so the chances of it being pretty good are, well, pretty good. The project has no title, but it does have Downton Abbey’s James (and EastEnders mainstay), Himesh Patel, as well as the most vague idea of a plot that involves music of the 1960s and/or 1970s, depending on whose rumors you believe. Doesn’t matter, you had us at Kate.
It Is a Bad Idea to Mess with Gay Kid and Fat Chick
TV comedy director Amy York Rubin (Grown-ish, Fresh Off The Boat) has signed on to direct the next film from comic actor Bo Burnham (his debut feature as a writerdirector, the already-acclaimed Eighth Grade, hits theaters this summer). It’s called Gay Kid and Fat Chick, at least for now, and we don’t dislike that title at all. Not only is it instantly memorable, it takes dismissive language and uses it powerfully in a story of teenage outsiders who create costumed superhero identities in order to get revenge on bullies, kind of like a queer Kick-Ass. At the moment this one is in development — at Paramount — so there’s no cast, but hear us out when we say that J.J. Totah (Champions) is the only choice to play “Gay Kid.” That young man is practically already a queer superhero in real life. Anyway, we hope the script doesn’t involve them having to learn lessons about the futility of revenge. If you’ve seen Heathers, you know there’s no satisfaction in that.
photo: bigstock.com
Follow Kimberly Reed’s Dark Money
Transgender director Kimberly Reed’s documentary Prodigal Sons was the kind of indie success story every filmmaker hopes for: critically acclaimed, crowd pleasing, and award winning. Then her profile rose when she coproduced the moving documentary The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson. And now her latest, Dark Money, hits arthouse theaters this summer before airing on PBS. This time around, the subject matter is less queer specific and more urgently universal: the influence of untraceable corporate money and the way it influences not only American elections but also our democracy itself, thanks to the infamous Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United. It’s the kind of activist filmmaking that’s sure to depress audiences — but only in an effort to make them rise up. Here’s hoping it pushes the national conversation toward breaking the grip corporations have on American politics and life. (Cue group sing-along of “The Internationale.”)
uRomeo San Vicente doesn’t hate Mondays, just capitalism. Hotspots Central Florida
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Keep It Together 5 Ways to Save a Rocky Relationship by mikey rox When the going gets tough in your relationship, you can take the easy way out (and you should if you don’t love your partner anymore), but there can be plenty of upside in sticking the hard times out and trying to make it work. How you do that is up to you — there is no right or wrong way — but these tips on putting the pieces of a shattered partnership back together again are a great place to start.
1. Check yourself first.
When we’re not connecting with our partners in a positive way, it’s easy to concentrate on their negative behavior — where they’re falling short and letting you down (and annoying the hell out of you while they’re at it) — instead of focusing on how we’re contributing to the situation with our own behavior. “The trap within this mindset is that it focuses on what the partner is doing or failing to do but doesn’t make the individual accountable for their own choices and behaviors,” explains Anna Osborn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. “Doing a gut check on how you as an individual are showing up in the relationship — and being willing to admit it — can have a profound positive impact on the relationship. Doing this can also help couples make communication safer by demonstrating that each person can admit their mistakes and work together to create change without it being held against them.”
uIdentify one or two of the five that you two
have in common. Brainstorm something you can do together in service of these values. “For example,” says Dr. Gross, “if you both notice that affection is on the top of your values list, I encourage to get creative about setting aside a regular, prescribed amount of time dedicated solely to the practice of giving and receiving affection.”
uIf you find you have no common values
in your respective top-five lists, Dr. Gross encourages you to seek outside assistance (relationship coaching or couples counseling) to help you dig a little deeper for creative ways to pursue your common values together.
2. Revisit what each of you value.
Most couples consider calling it quits because their feelings for one another change. What they don’t realize is that feelings are supposed to change; none of us are the same at the beginning of a relationship as we are just a few years later. But common values, like along with affection, loyalty and fiscal responsibility, are what hold a healthy relationship together — along with plenty of quality time. When couples work together in pursuit of those values, they’re more likely to re-experience positive feelings toward one another. Clinical psychologist Dr. Jill Gross says, “When couples feel out of sorts, it’s because either their values are changing and they aren’t talking about it with each other — sometimes because they aren’t aware of these changes themselves — and/or because they are not spending time consciously living their values.” If this sounds like what’s going on in your rocky relationship, Dr. Gross recommends taking inventory of your shared values.
uFind a list of values (just a Google search
away!), sit down together and talk about the list while each of you circles his/her top five values.
3. Make an appointment with a couple’s therapist.
Not all couples can fix their issues on their own. And there’s no shame in that. If your attempts to work on problems usually end in arguments — ones where nobody walks away appreciating what the other was trying to express — an unbiased, highly trained, third-party mediator may be just what you need to make progress toward healing old wounds. But for counseling to work, you both must be willing to take your sessions seriously, recognizing that therapy may be crucial to your relationship’s survival. To make the most of your time and money, go in with open minds and focus on listening to
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Not all couples can fix their issues on their own. And there’s no shame in that.” what your partner is saying — without getting defensive. Immediately responding with attacks won’t accomplish anything except building more resentment at $100-plus an hour.
4. Plan a getaway together.
Whenever my boyfriend and I eye aren’t seeing eye-to-eye (or we’re simply getting on each other’s nerves more frequently than usual), I like to plan a getaway. We go somewhere we can forget whatever’s going on at home (and work) and just spend a couple days reconnecting. Our fighting doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore — quite the opposite, in fact; our heated moments show we love each other enough to spar about whatever’s driving us crazy about the other — and sometimes a few days unplugged and focused on our relationship help get us back on track.
5. Stop talking and start listening.
Many of us — gay men, especially — like to talk at instead of listen to our partners. We think we’re right about everything (seriously, what’s that about?), but by and large, we’re probably not (and a lot of times we know it), so why don’t give our partners an honest chance to tell us what their feeling? The mending process
will move along much faster if we just shut our mouths every now and again. “Ask your partner what they need, and tell them what you need,” advises relationship expert David Bennett, who owns the relationship-coaching company Double Trust Dating and Relationships with his twin brother. “Be honest and tell them they can be honest. In many cases, even couples who have been together for a long time have no idea what each person really needs to do to make things work. It could be as simple as listening more, offering to help out more around the house, or even giving the other person more alone time — which, by the way, research shows is very important to the health of a relationship. If neither partner can make an effort to work on meeting the needs, then it’s time to break up. However, a couple may find saving the relationship doesn’t take that much work.” uMikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach, his dog Jaxon by his side. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.
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