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on the inside
Central Florida Edition January 2020
2020 Trends!
what are the fashion trends for this new DECADE? Well, never fear, your amigo Carlos Marrero is here to guide you through your fashion conundrums.
content:
• What’s Hot Central Florida • Hot Bodies • Hot Advice • Frivolist
this month’s features:
• Dolly Parton • What Celebrities Said in 2019 • 2020 Fashion Trends
hot shots • Dunedin Lanes • NYE Around Central Florida • Snow on 7th Parade • Punky’s Bar & Grill
What’s
HOT
...everything you need to plan your month
hot shots photos by tony fowler
New Year
Around Central Florida
what’s hot By Scott Holland
everything you need to know
W
to plan your month >>>> Jan 9 - Feb 7
Welcome to the What’s Hot January 2020 column where we feature events happening all over Central Florida. Continue reading on to learn What's Hot this month.
Saturday, January 11
Amor Saturdays at its new home at Irish Shannon's (41 W. Church St, Orlando) presents “Salsa For Your Life” with a contest at 12:30am with a cash prize for the winner. Showtime at 12am features Lisa Lane, Clara San Miguel and Isabella Ella. Doors open at 9pm with no cover before 10pm and only $10 after. 21+ to party.
The Parliament House features an epic show of celebrity impersonations “La Cage” with special guest, Jade Jolie (of RuPaul's Drag Race) as Taylor Swift. As always they feature the Footlight Players at 10pm and 12am, and DJ Brianna spinning till 3am.
Monday, January 13
The Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall presents The Righteous Brothers at 8pm. The Lovin' Feelin' is back as these blue-eyed soul pioneers return to the Van Wezel! Original Brother Bill Medley is joined by Bucky Heard in a concert experience that
features their biggest hits, including the most played song in radio history: “You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'.” Don't miss hit favorites such as “Soul & Inspiration,” “Unchained Melody,” “Rock and Roll Heaven,” Medley's Grammy-winning Dirty Dancing theme “The Time of My Life” and much more! Tickets start at $37 at Vanwezel.org.
Wednesday, January 15
Amalie Arena presents Celine Dion, one of the most immediately recognized and widely respected superstars in pop music history. This is her Courage World Tour, her first U.S. tour in over 10 years. Céline says, "I'm so grateful to all the fans who have come to see my show in Las Vegas for so many years, and now I get the chance to create a brand new show and bring it to them in North America, and around
only, and includes coarse language, sexual references and male nudity... get ready to have some fun! Tickets start at $22 at Vanwezel.org.
Friday, January 17
the world. I'm very excited about this tour, and my new album...coming later this year." Tickets, which start at $46, can be purchased at Amaliearena.com
Thursday, January 16
The Van Wezel presents The Naked Magicians. Seen in Las Vegas, London's West End, in 250+ cities around the world and by over 50 million on TV (NBC, ABC, FOX, iTV) – The Naked Magicians is undoubtedly the world's funniest and naughtiest magic show! The show features magic, mirth and more than a touch of mayhem as these two hot and hilarious Aussie
magicians say abracadabra and take magic to a whole new level. This show is 18+
The Straz Center for the Performing Arts presents “Girls Night: The Musical” from today through Sunday, January 19. See the OffBroadway sensation that audiences can't get enough of from coast to coast! Share the fun and laughter in this hilarious, feel-good comedy as five girlfriends re-live their past, celebrate their present and look to the future on a wild night out. Featuring the most famous female empowerment hits of the last four decades including “Lady Marmalade,” “It's Raining Men,” “Man I Feel Like A Woman,” “I Will Survive” and many more. Tickets start at $34.50 at StrazCenter.org
developing artistic expression. This is a statewide preliminary, all Florida residents/students are welcome to compete for scholarships and titles. Admission to see pageant is $20 at Drphillipscenter.org.
The Parliament House welcomes the Orlando Meltdown Softball players
Saturday, January 18
Ok, we all love pageants (OK, I love pageants), even the straight ones, so I was happy to see that the Downtown Arts District will present the Miss Orlando Scholarship Pageant (an official preliminary to the Miss Florida, Miss America and Outstanding Teen competitions) at the Alexis & Jim Pugh Theater at the Dr. Phillips Center at 7pm. Participating in the Miss America system helps young women pay for college and prepare for a career through hands-on leadership; all while gaining life experience, working on issues of importance to society, enhancing personal and professional skills and
with a party starring global sensation DJ Joe Gauthreaux. As always they feature the Footlight Players at 10pm and 12am.
Amor Saturdays at its new home at Irish Shannon's (41 W. Church St, Orlando) presents direct from Puerto Rico Dragayasa Monique along with Saphyre L'Sweet Cardoza and Gigibeth San Miguel. Showtime is 12am.
Doors open at 9pm with no cover before 10pm and only $10 thereafter. 21+ to party.
Wednesday, January 22
Fairwinds Broadway in Orlando Presents Disney's “Aladdin” at The Dr. Phillips Center from today through February 9. Hailed by USA Today as “Pure Genie-Us,” Aladdin features all your favorite songs from the film as well as new music written by Tony and Academy Award winner Alan Menken (Newsies) with lyrics penned by the legendary Howard Ashman (Beauty and the Beast), Tony Award winner Tim Rice (The Lion King, Aida), and book writer Chad Beguelin (The Wedding Singer). Directed and
choreographed by Tony Award winner Casey Nicholaw (The Book of Mormon, Something Rotten!), this “Fabulous” and “Extravagant” (The New York Times) new musical boasts an incomparable design team. See why audiences and critics agree, Aladdin is “Exactly What You Wish For!" (NBC-TV). Disney recommends its productions for ages 6 and up. All persons entering the theater, regardless of age, must have a ticket. Tickets start at $31 at Drphillipscenter.org.
Thursday, January 23
The Van Wezel presents, back by popular demand, Steve Martin & Martin Short at 8pm. Their celebrated comedy show, The Funniest Show in Town at the Moment: Steve Martin & Martin Short,
featuring The First Ladies of Bluegrass redefines the form in unexpected and profound ways, from two of the funniest, most influential and acclaimed talents of the past century. Tickets start at $100 at Vanwezel.org.
Friday, January 24
The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tampa presents Michael Bolton: Symphony Sessions at 8pm at
the Hard Rock Event Center. Michael, who is celebrating his 50th year in the entertainment industry, has sold more than 65 million records worldwide. His achievements include nine top 10 albums and nine
number one singles. From "When A Man Loves A Woman" to "How Am I Supposed To Live Without You" and more, Michael Bolton's "Time, Love & Tenderness" has created the soundtrack of our lives. Tickets start at $70 at Ticketmaster.com.
The Straz Center for the Performing Arts presents Iliza Shlesinger who is one of today's top comedians performing for sold out crowds around the world. With five Netflix specials under her belt, including last year's Elder Millennial, and another one on the way, Iliza is known for making social topics relatable for everyone and turning them into an evening audiences will never forget. Whether you're a longtime party goblin or it's your first time, Iliza always takes the stage with fresh new material that's smart, fearless, honest, and always funny. Tickets start at $35 at StrazCenter.org.
Email WhatsHot@HotspotsMedia.com to have your event considered for “What’s Hot.”
Store” at Barcodes for all your shopping needs.
The Van Wezel presents the Broadway show Waitress from today through Sunday, January 26. Inspired by the beloved film, WAITRESS tells the story of Jenna, an expert pie maker who dreams of a way out of her small town. A baking contest and the town's new doctor may offer her a fresh start, but Jenna must summon the strength to rebuild her own life. Don't miss this uplifting celebration of friendship, motherhood, and the magic of a well-made pie. Tickets start at $42 at Vanwezel.org.
Saturday, January 25
Bar Codes Orlando presents its monthly Leather Night (last Saturday of every month) in conjunction with Orlando Kinksters. Get into your finest fetish wear and join them for a night of fun hosted by Sir Jory.
Amor Saturdays at its new home at Irish Shannon's (41 W. Church St, Orlando) presents a “Fetish Party,” where if you wear your fetish gear you get in free until 11pm. Showtime at 12am stars Angelica Sanchez, Kandy Ho, Nouba Soleil, and
Natalie Nayles. Doors open at 9pm with no cover before 10pm and only $10 thereafter. 21+ to party.
Sunday, January 26
Join Balance Tampa Bay for their first social of 2020 at Green Bench Brewing in St Pete's beautiful Edge District from 1to 5pm. Invite your friends to this Sunday Funday as you will enjoy the venue's many tastes of unique beers, meads, and ciders. This venue has plenty of indoor and outdoor space so bring lots of friends. RSVP by emailing them at: marketing@bakancetampaba y.org
Thursday, January 30
They will feature a cigar social on the patio from 9-10pm, live demonstrations throughout the evening and as always free parking and no cover! While you are there, don't forget “the
The Van Wezel presents Kristin Chenoweth In Concert – For The Girls at 8pm. Emmy and Tony Award-winning actress and singer Kristin Chenoweth's career spans film, television, voiceover and
stage, earning herself a star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame. She received an Emmy Award for her role in Pushing Daisies, won a Tony Award for You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown and was also nominated for her original role of Glinda the Good Witch in the Broadway smash-hit Wicked. Tickets start at $37 at Vanwezel.org.
Friday, Jan 31
The Amway Center presents Country Music (ACM) "Artist of the Decade" Jason Aldean for one night only with his “We Back Tour.” Also performing will be Morgan
Wallen, Riley Green and Dee Jay Silver. This is Aldean's first time back since his record-breaking highest attendance for a single-day event in 2011. Tickets start at $62 at Amwaycenter.com
Saturday, February 1
The Parliament House presents an 80's theme and features recording artists “Company B” performing live
in concert their hits “Fascinated,” and “Full Circle.” As always they feature the Footlight Players at 10pm and 12am, and DJ Brianna spinning till 3am.
Friday, February 7
Amalie Arena presents legendary musician Billy Joel
at 8pm. Get your tickets fast as Billy Joel has sold out AMALIE Arena in 2014, 2016 and 2018 – his career sellouts in Tampa being eight times. Having sold 150 million records over the past quarter century, scoring 33 consecutive Top 40 hits, Billy Joel ranks as one of most popular recording artists and respected entertainers in history. Tickets start at $50 at Amaliearena.com.
Dr. Phillips Center in association with Live Nation present Lewis Black in “It Gets Better Every Day Tour” at 8pm. Please note that this performance is at the Bob Carr Theater, one mile north of the Dr. Phillips Center campus. Known as the king of the rant, Lewis uses his trademark style of comedic yelling and animated finger-
pointing to skewer anything and anyone that gets under his skin. His comedic brilliance lies in his ability to make people laugh at the absurdities of life, with topics that include current events, social media, politics and anything else that exposes the hypocrisy and madness he sees in the world. Tickets start at $40 at Drphillipscenter.org.
D
By Chris Azzopardi
Dolly was there, almost, holding court despite her lack of humanness, as queer writers on assignment huddled giddily in front of her, awe-stricken by the realness of a fake Dolly. I stood, out of body, piled into the country legend’s Chasing Rainbows Museum as the tech magic that is Dolly Parton’s hologram welcomed me to a Dolly shrine, perhaps the most holy site I've seen since my parents took me to church as a kid. A regular experience at the museum, the 3D image of our honky-tonk goddess dove-coos about holding onto special memories and keepsakes; then, she asks you to remember one thing, breaking out
photos by: netflix
some a cappella lines to let you know “that I will always love you.” She blows kisses and bids farewell: “I’m outta here,” she says. And poof, there she goes, melting into the most magical cloud of blue fairy dust, falling to the floor. Dolly transforms into a soaring butterfly. When human Dolly descended upon a conference room at her DreamMore Resort in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, it was like she’d just stepped out of a Saturday-morning cartoon – or out of that holographic screen. She whooshed into our room of journalists with a hearty, “Well hello eve’ybody!” and zinged up to the front of a throng of alreadyseated journalists, making an astute observation on her jolly way: “Y’all like a bunch of kids: quiet, waiting for Ms. Dolly, Ms. Teacher, to come in.” Then Ms. Dolly got down to business, talking about her new Netflix anthology Heartstrings, where lessons are carefully taught with a steady hand and her unique ability to unify America, a topic recently explored in depth by Jad Abumrad on his podcast Dolly Parton’s America (having experienced Dollywood, including some of its otherworldly cinnamon bread, I can also say he’s spot on in coining her universe the “Dollyverse”). Expanding her ditties into full-on mini movies, the eight episodes produced for the series extend hearty lessons inspired by a mixture of both iconic and more obscure Dolly Parton songs; they gently and sneakily school the ignorant, the blissfully unaware
and the downright bigoted, all told in Ms. Dolly’s preferred socio-political manner: through her stories. The “Jolene” episode tells the tale of the eponymous misunderstood woman that Dolly fears will take her man in the song (played by Julianne Hough), though the episode concludes that it’s the cheating men who are the real problem. Forbidden love is the crux of “Down from Dover,” centered on a young black soldier and a white reverend’s daughter during the Vietnam War. The lesson of the “Two Doors Down” episode is classic Dolly because it’s the gay one. If you’re a queer Dolly-head, you won’t be surprised to discover her introduction to the episode, which spotlights a same-sex love story. But your homophobic uncle might be – in fact, he might even finally learn what non-binary means and that transgender people are real people, all thanks to Ms. Dolly’s Queer 101 classroom introduction. The “Great Unifier,” as she’s been called, introduces every episode – and it is always the best part of each installment. Here, she explains that even when she couldn’t be with her blood family on the road, she was with “a whole new family, with bands and crews that were made of all kinds of people who were different colors, gay, lesbian, transgender and all different faiths. But it didn’t matter as long as we all loved each other and got along. And we did. And we still do. Because what it all comes down to is love is love, in road families and in real families. Now life might not always be a party, but you are better off if you can just enjoy yourself, have fun and accept and love the people around you.” What a wise teacher we have in Ms. Dolly. She reiterated a similar sentiment that day in the conference room, talking about the “golden rule” – that is, once she reached the stage. “I’m gonna need another lift,” she chirped. “These are not the kind of shoes you want to take chances in. These boots aren’t made for walkin’.” She stomped the floor, then we were off. According to Ms. Dolly, that rule is treating people right – and that if you know your values, your morals, and you know what to sacrifice and what not to, “you’ll be all right.” (When asked about goddaughter Miley Cyrus, she further illustrated this point by saying: “People say you need to talk to Miley; I say, no, I don’t need to talk to Miley. Let Miley be Miley, I’ll be me and everybody needs to do their own thing.”)
Heartstrings practices the golden rule, and like her brand emblem – the butterfly, which is everywhere at Dollywood and at the DreamMore (even the toilet paper in my hotel room was butterfly embossed) – happy endings are also ubiquitous in the Dollyverse. And so it’s no surprise that Heartstrings is an extension of that world. A world Netflix knew the streaming population needed more of, a series that Ms. Dolly said “really did tug at your heartstrings.” In her mind, her songs are already movies anyway: “I grew up way back in the mountains, and early in my early days we didn’t even have electricity and we listened to the Grand Ole Opry on a battery radio.” She didn’t watch movies, and there was no TV, so to pass the time she would “paint pictures in my songs and tell stories,” she said. “So it was just a natural fit, I thought, to do a series based on songs that I’ve written.” Ms. Dolly could’ve tapped into her most well-known songs for Heartstrings – you may have noticed there’s no Heartstrings episode centered on “I Will Always Love You” (maybe next time, she says) – but aside from featuring a few of her biggest hits, “we wanted to pick songs that are also different.” She loves Westerns and dressing up in Wild West get-ups, so since she’s Dolly Parton and she can, she did a “J.J. Sneed” episode. Also, she loves dogs and “so I had a little song I had written years ago called 'Cracker Jack,' so we wanted to get one of those in as well. We wanted to cover all the emotions.” At one point during the press conference Ms. Dolly sneezed, which is a non-story
except that this was Dolly Parton sneezing, so it was an event. She asked for a tissue and whooped a laugh, teaching us all another lesson: even honky-tonk goddesses are susceptible to seasonal sickness. “With this weather changin’ and all that,” she explained, before a man who was, I believe, a journalist – but looked like he could’ve easily been in one of these Heartstrings episodes – passed her a tissue. She thanked him, calling him “cowboy.” Like she was throwing the “Cracker Jack” dog a bone, she dangled the tissue out in front of our group of journalists, joking that she was going to fling it out so someone could sell it on eBay. Non-holographic Ms. Dolly, extraordinarily human at this point, called it “star snot.” As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him
In 2019, out glam-rocker Adam Lambert encouraged us to keep ighting, out musician Ben Platt talked about authenticity, out actress Anna Paquin underlined how ilm and TV can change minds, and out Schitt's Creek creator Dan Levy was in awe of his show's resonance. Country music superstars Trisha Yearwood and Miranda Lambert also chimed in on LGBTQ issues, speaking out on their LGBTQ allyship. Meanwhile, A-list screen allies like Jamie Lee Curtis, Laura Linney, Amy Poehler, and Charlize Theron continued to show up for the community, discussing everything from their queerinclusive movies to their longtime activism. Here's a look back at 2019's most memorable quotes:
“It was so special, and when he was giving me permission to post about it, we both cried because it was such a big moment. I see now, talking about it, why it's a big moment for other people: because it was a big moment for us too.”
–Miranda Lambert
on posting WorldPride pics of her and her gay brother (blue shirt)
@mirandalambert
“
“I say that it goes together for me, my faith and my love for not just gays but people.”
– kristin chenoweth
“What if we could just stay in the place of being completely open?
– judith light
“I think that people learn about people they don't understand through entertainment. That's one of our most powerful tools for bringing people out of their own bubble and their own world.”
– anna paquin
“I think questioning yourself or questioning the context you're in comes natural to this community, and for me that's something that I feel connected to…”
– robyn
“I hope they take away that I haven't lost hope. That I still believe that people are good and that we'll get through this.
– wanda sykes
on her Net lix comedy special, Not Normal
“I don't even know what Twitter or twatter is! And I really don't want to.”
– dionne warwick
24 MEN FROM IPANEMA
”
“
Keep going, keep pushing. And when the opposition is stronger, we have to push back stronger.”
– adam lambert
“One of the wonderful things about the LGBTQ community is that they kind of throw caution to the winds and it's a moment where people get together and celebrate the positive rather than the negative.”
– angelica huston on Pride
“The older I get the more I realize I feel much more comfortable in menswear. I like the feel of it. I feel much more myself.”
– amy poehler
“The idea of just being present, it's the
way I approach the relationship with my son, the not judging. I'm not going at it trying to make him into something he doesn't want to be.”
– kyle maclachlan
I know it's still not easy in certain circles, but I like where we are and where we're going. We preach 'love one another' and that's what we're supposed to do.”
– trisha yearwood
“You know, no one's coming up to me going, 'Oh god, that was fantastic!' I mean, it's so far gone. It's far in the past. Who cares! But it's nice to hear and I hope somebody enjoyed it. It's like, maybe Goldie enjoyed it. Or Bette! They've had more interesting lives.
– Diane Keaton
”
on The First Wives Club now
“I don't think it's anybody's business what people's sexuality is, to be perfectly honest. I ind it like a reverse discrimination. People's private lives are their private lives and whether I've ever kissed a girl – have not – is irrelevant to whatever advocacy I participate in.”
– jamie lee curtis
“The reason why I ight the good ight: to try to make people see it the way I've been seeing it my whole life.”
– Carly Rae Jepsen
on normalizing the LGBTQ community
“I experimented and I did what I think every young person should do: feel brave enough and free enough in order to igure it out.”
– Charlize Theron
“To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I ind to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it's quite profound.”
– Dan Levy
“If you're authentic, I think that's the most attractive quality beyond just a beautiful voice, feeling like this is undoubtedly exactly who you are.”
24 MEN – ben platt FROM IPANEMA
hot shots photos by tony fowler
Dunedin Lanes
Clearwater
20
0 2 trends New Decade, New Style! By Carlos Marrero
W
Welcome to 2020! You're probably wondering - how the hell did I survive 2019? And is it just me, or does 2020 not even sound like a real year? But more importantly...what are the fashion trends for this new DECADE? Well, never fear, your amigo Carlos Marrero is here to guide you through your fashion conundrums. I've watched and researched tons of fashion videos and looked at lots of trend reports so you don't have to, and I've narrowed down what we can apply both to our community and to South Florida. There are a myriad of new styles that flatter our community. Whether you need a wardrobe update or you’re just searching for a bit of 2020 styling inspiration, check out my top 5 men’s 2020 fashion trends.
1. Cross-Body Bags- The best way to keep our belongings safe? A super stylish cross-body bag. This trend is back in full force! Whether it be messenger style or something small you will be the talk of the town (in a good way). It's THE FANNY PACK, but elevated! This is a great way to jazz up a look in 2020.
2. High Waisted Trousers - And
here we travel back to one of my favorite eras, the ’40s. This is a surprisingly flattering style that comes back into fashion every few years because of its versatility. However, I'm afraid that my torso is short and I might not be sporting this one, but don't let that stop you amigo!
3. Cuban Collar Shirts - We enjoy summer in South Florida pretty much all year long. This bright and sunny style is an easy way to jazz up your look and make a statement. Print or solid, you just can't go wrong with this look. Dress it up with a solid blazer and white pants for a knock-out look.
4. Hairy Soles - Now I love me some hairy men, but hairy shoes? Believe it or not, fuzzy, furry textures are now a statement footwear right now. I have two words for you: CALF HAIR. From shoes to chukkas this fuzzy trend is here to stay! 5. Finally, the ’70s are back in a big way, with strong collars jutting out over jacket lapels, Saturday Night Fever-style! Just be sure not to try and pair it with your new high-waisted trousers! Looking for more men's fashion trends? Stay tuned because I'm just getting started! I'm ready for a new fashion decade... are you? Let's go fashionistas!
frivolist
By Mikey Rox
Four Things I’m Leaving Behind in 2019
1
A new year means new beginnings, and 2020 will be a doozy for me. To get a head start on my best self ever, here’s what I’m leaving in the dust in 2019.
My Home
About a year ago I took stock of my life and what I wanted for my future. It was a comfy life, for sure. I owned a house and a condo by the beach in Asbury Park, N.J., but despite that abundance, I was unhappy. I separated from my husband in 2015 and moved to those shore properties as a result. These homes were great as getaways during our mutual life in Manhattan, but I never expected them to serve as my primary residences. While I made the situation work – Airbnbing those properties for extra income – the constant traveling back and forth between the two (and playing maid to sometimes inconsiderate guests) became a burden. So in 2018, I said f*ck it all, listed the real estate earlier this year, and devised a plan to buy a van and have it retrofitted for living. I sold the last vestiges of that old life in September, had the van finished by October, and I’m eagerly awaiting my departure date this month. Where will I go? Everywhere. I want to see everything. Most importantly, I want to live again. I’m scared and nervous, and I may very well never come back from the abyss. But it sure as hell beats drinking myself to death or plopping on a couch every night waiting to die. Sounds melodramatic, yeah, but a lost relationship can rip your heart out, and what I need right now is to focus on me. Relearn how to love me again. And right now, this is the best way I know how.
Anxiety & Depression
2
I’ve been on anti-depressants since my early 20s. I have no shame in admitting that, because mental health and well-being should be discussed by everyone. The first few years were a disaster, trying various drugs to balance my mood, but nothing seemed to work. They either made me sick or zapped my dick. What’s the point of being happy if I can’t have sex? There is none, so I abandoned those incompatible SSRIs and earnestly looked for a treatment without side effects. For the past seven years I’ve been on a miracle drug – for me, at least – called Trazodone. It
works two-fold – I feel better and I sleep better, which also was an issue for me. Combine that with an as-needed Xanax every now and again, and I can get through the day without blowing someone’s head off. Major coup. While these meds work for me, I’m starting to wonder if another drug can replace them – a drug called nature. When I leave this static life behind for one filled with adventure and new face in new places, maybe, just maybe that’ll be what my body and mind required all along. I’m currently discussing with my doctor how to safely wean off the drugs in order to be free and experience genuine clarity. I don’t know if that’s possible, but I have to try. Of course, if you see my mug shot on the TV in few months… well, let’s just keep our fingers crossed.
Excess Shopping
3
For the past decade, I’ve written outside the LGBT community as a mainstream personal finance expert. I teach people through my articles how to spend and save smarter, how to get off their asses and make extra money, and how to be thankful for the things they already have, even when the Joneses seem to have it better. The latter is a fool’s game, however – appearances are almost always deceiving – but that doesn’t mean that I don’t slip up. I’m completely debt-free, which is a testament to my own hard work and dedication (which is not to sound braggy by the way, but I do think I’m allowed to be proud of that), but that doesn’t mean I don’t still indulge. I love shopping for clothing, accessories and art. Those are my retail vices. But I’m giving them up in 2020. Mostly because I don’t have room for anything else that’s not already in my 15square-foot van – primarily survival gear because I don’t want to die out there.
Toxic Relationships
4
After my divorce, I started a new relationship that lasted three and a half years, but ended recently. I won’t shame my ex-partner publicly through this column – he did things, I did things – but in the end it didn’t work out. Too many outside factors were involved – like his meddling family – and we weren’t able to thrive like an adult couple should. As much as we tried, we couldn’t make it. In hindsight, we’re very different people on very different paths. I’m not mad at it though. It happens. To all of us. Life moves on; mine will too. And I’m eager to watch all that toxicity stay right where it belongs – in my rearview mirror.
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox
hot bodies
By Tom Bonanti
A Few Sobering Facts
Y
About Booze
You know the feeling – pounding head, dry mouth, achiness, and nausea. You may not remember everything that you did last night, but your knees are all scraped up and it feels like you swallowed road- kill. Yes, you did it again, you drank too much. Although small amounts of alcohol have been shown to give a short-term boost in free testosterone levels and increase glycogen uptake, these benefits are short lived. After approximately twenty minutes of “slamming them back”, all hell breaks loose in your system. While cocktails with buddies on Friday nights may reduce stress and promote a sense of well being, making this a nightly ritual is strictly taboo for serious body builders, athletes, or anyone who values
their good health. Alcohol is toxic and a host of physical abnormalities can arise as a result of “tying one on”. Alcohol compromises your strength, endurance, recovery capabilities, aerobic capabilities, ability to metabolize fat, and muscle growth. In addition, overdrinking inhibits protein synthesis needed for muscle fibers to recover and grow. And a nasty hangover can turn you into a cranky old bitch at the gym, at work, and at home. Besides wreaking havoc with the hard work you’ve done in the gym, alcohol can also affect your brain and nervous system. In small doses, alcohol produces a relaxing effect, reduces tension, and lowers inhibitions. But it can also slow reflexes, impair concentration and reduce coordination. Alcohols’ effects on the heart and circulatory systems are numerous. Overdrinking will make you throw in the towel after just a few minutes of cardio because your endurance will be zilch. When consuming alcoholic beverages your heat loss increases, because alcohol dilates the blood vessels. This heat loss can cause your
muscles to get cold and, as a result, become slower and weaker during contractions. In addition, alcohol can cause several gastric, digestive, and nutritional irregularities. This drug causes a release of insulin that will eventually make you store more fat. Since alcohol consumption can interfere with the absorption of many nutrients, it is possible to become anemic and deficient in the B vitamins. Your B’s are responsible for a healthy metabolism and energy supply. Because the liver is the organ that detoxifies alcohol, the more booze you swill, the harder your liver must work to do its’ job. This additional stress on the liver can damage and even destroy some liver cells. But wait, the buzz on booze isn’t all a downer! Recent research indicates that red wine may have cholesterol fighting ingredients. In addition
to resveratrol, the antioxidant known to help reduce cholesterol levels, red wine also contains saponins that are believed to bind bad cholesterol (LDL), preventing its buildup and accumulation. Best sources include red zinfandel, pinot noir and cabernet sauvignon, all red wines. The holidays are nearly upon us! If you must drink, do so responsibly and in moderation. Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and massage therapist (MA#40288) with his own one on one facility www.pumpnincgym.com in Ft. Lauderdale. Contact trainertomb@aol.com or call Tom (954) 557-1119 to schedule a massage or training session today.
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Ybor Snow on 7th Parade
Tampa
hot advice
By Andreus Quinones
Ex-boyfriends & Boundaries
D
“I am with you, so you shouldn’t be worried.”
Dear Andreus, I have been having a difficult time over the past few months with my boyfriend. I am very picky about our choice in friends, and we don’t see eye to eye on the subject. He likes hanging out with his ex-boyfriends and previous flings, and it doesn’t set too well with me. He tells me that I am making a big deal out of nothing, but am I? Sincerely, Craig P. Dear Craig, In this situation the underlying question is trust. Do you trust your boyfriend? Is there anything about these friendships that give you pause or is it just because of the prior history. Now, in all honesty, I would not feel particularly comfortable with my partner hanging out with his exes or previous flings either, but that is personal preference. These are the types of things that you need to discuss in the early phases of dating. You certainly cannot tell him who to be friends with or not, but maybe you can establish certain boundaries. Better to do it sooner, then later.
Dear Andreus, Every time my boyfriend gets drunk at the bar or a party, he starts touching people in a sexual or flirtatious manner. I find it disrespectful, but he says it’s all in fun. Every time it happens, I say something, but he always comments with – “I am with you, so you shouldn’t be worried.” I see flirtation as an invitation. Am I correct to feel this way? Sincerely, Jackson R.
Dear Jackson, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES, BOUNDARIES. I cannot reiterate this enough. So many people end up in relationships or dating where the lines are blurred. You must establish what you like, dislike and what your expectations are (within reason), from the beginning. In my point of view, if you are “with” someone, you certainly should not be flirting and/or touching other people. Those behaviors are inviting, so I agree. If voicing your concerns is not working, maybe it’s time to turn the tables and see how that goes. Sometimes people don’t realize the extent of what they are doing until it is done to them. Good luck!
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Punky’s Bar & Grill
St. Petersburgh
CELEBRATE YOU
Diego he, him, his
Two continents. Over 53 nations. One love. Greater Fort Lauderdale invites everyone under the sun to the very first Pride of the Americas. Join hundreds of thousands of individuals who together will bring global attention to LGBT+ advocacy. All are welcome to fly your flag high, make an impact and radiate life – because who you are is worth celebrating. Make your plans at sunny.org/PrideAmericas Beach Party & Parade • Arts Festival • Fashion Show • Business of the Americas Conference • Transgender Summit • LGBT+ Health & Wellness Conference