Central Florida Edition February 2019
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on the inside
Central Florida Edition February 2019
Margaret Cho Comedian talks new Asian-led kink series, queer sex and Hollywood homophobia.
columns and features: • What’s Hot Central Florida • Deep Inside Hollywood • Margaret Cho—Interview • Frivolist: 8 Ways I’m Snatching My HHappiness Back in 2019 • Hot Bodies—Daily Habits That You CCan Kick to the Curb in 2019 • Hamilton—Comes to Orlando and TTampa • Hot Advice—Proud Latino
hot shots • Cristoph’s Tampa • Southern Nights Tampa • Around Town with Amy Demilo
What’s HOT ...everything you need to plan your month
what’s hot By Harry Demasiado
everything you need to know
to plan your month
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Welcome to the What's Hot Column, where we feature countless events in the Greater Orlando, Tampa, St. Petersburg, and surrounding areas. This is also your connection to activities and events by local LGBT+ Organizations. Continue reading on to learn What's Hot in February!
Friday, February 1 Join Southern Nights Tampa for their Monthly NeiBEARhood Takeover. “Beardstock” with DJ Edil Hernandez sponsored by Gobearr Gear & FatMarker. There will be fundraising performances for Miss Florida Bearded Queens journey to nationals. Showtime at 12am with Scarlette Diamond & Aquariius & 1am show with Miss Florida Bearded queen herself – Bearonce Bear. 21 & Over event with no cover before 10pm.
Saturday, February 2 Join The Parliament House as they say Farwell, to Shantell D'Marco for her final Saturday night as a current
welcome Pride organizers and special guests to sunny Orlando for Interpride Pose 2019! Join them till February10 for educational workshops, networking opportunities and fabulous social events — all designed to showcase and benefit the various Prides of the Southeast. Get registration and hotel info plus check out the latest on their website at Comeoutwithpride.com/pose.
Footlight Player before she relocates to Chicago. Showtimes are 10pm & 12am. This weekend P-House will be featuring the Sounds of DJ Nina Flowers (Friday, Saturday & Sunday) in the main disco till 3am. Cristoph's Tampa presents “Glow Party,” starring Stephanie Stuart and DJ Mike Sklarz. 21 and over, no cover!
Friday, February 8 Southern Nights Tampa presents “Surge Fridays” with International DJ Eddie
Thursday, February 7
Martinez, spectacular décor, sexy Go-Go dancers and much
Come Out With Pride is excited to
more. This is an 18 and over event with doors opening at 9pm and no cover till 10pm. Back by Popular Demand, the Van Wezel presents “Patti Labelle” the Philadelphia Maven returns to belt out her Soul and R&B classics, pop hits, blues and spirituals – as only Ms. Patti can! Showtime at 8pm, and for tickets go to: Vanwezel.org Saturday, February 9 Right Angle Entertainment in association with Dr. Phillips Center present “The Simon & Garfunkel Story” The immersive concert-style theater show chronicles the amazing journey shared by the folk-rock duo, Paul Simon and Art
Garfunkel. It tells the story from their humble beginnings as Tom & Jerry, to their incredible success as one of the bestselling music groups of the '60's to their dramatic split in 1970. It culminates with the famous “The Concert in Central Park” reunion in 1981 with more than half a million fans in attendance. This event uses a huge projection photos and original film footage, featuring a full live band performing all the hits including 'Mrs. Robinson', 'Cecilia', 'Bridge Over Troubled Water', 'Homeward Bound' and many more. Showtime is at 8pm, and for tickets go to: drphillipscenter.org.
Sunday, February 10
The Amway Center presents Tyler Perry's “Madea's Farewell Play Tour.” Perry's Madea franchise has resonated with its diverse audience with films exploring poverty, race, love and more. Marking Perry's 21st stage play as the Atlanta grandma, the show stars the original cast including Tamela Mann, David Mann, and Cassi Davis. With the end of the Madea franchise era, and in proper Perry fashion, he wanted to give Madea fans a proper send off. The character, Mabel Earlene “Madea” Simmons, played by Perry himself, first appeared as a 68-year-old in the 1999 stage play, “I Can Do Bad All by Myself,” followed by the play and film, “Diary of a Mad Black Woman.” Performance runs though February 11. For additional information and tickets, please visit Amwaycenter.com If you want to hand out in your underwear head on over to Barcodes Orlando, every Sunday night with discounts for men in underwear.
followed by the Talent Contest. Doors open at 9pm, with no cover before 11pm. The Straz Center presents “Hamilton: An American Musical” The Tony Award winning sung-and-rapped through musical about the life of American Founding Father Alexander Hamilton, with music, lyrics and book by LinManuel Miranda, inspired by the 2004 biography Alexander Hamilton by historian Ron Chernow. Production runs through March 10. For tickets and show times go to: Strazcenter.org. Reminder…. that Barcodes Orlando has Free Pool all day and all night every Tuesday! Wednesday, February 13 The legendary tenor Andrea Bocelli returns to Orlando with his Valentine's concert. Celebrating the romance of Valentine's Day, Bocelli will
Tuesday, February 12
Southern Nights Orlando presents Twisted Tuesday 'Find your Valentine' with special guest Blue Star. The main show is at 12am with Axel Andrews, Kaija Adonis & Cara Cavalli,
delight his fans to a unique holiday repertoire combining the most beloved arias, crossover hits, and the world's most famous love songs. With one of the most recognizable voices in the industry, Bocelli has been thrilling audiences for over 20 years and sold over 80 million records worldwide. A One Night Only event you can not miss! For tickets, please visit Amwaycenter.com Join Orlando's Mayor Buddy
Dyer and City Commissioners as they host the annual City of Orlando's Black History Month celebration of the African American culture and contributions. This year's Black History Month theme, "Black Migrations" emphasizes the movement of people of African descent to new destinations and subsequently to new social realities. While inclusive of earlier centuries, this theme focuses especially on the twentieth century through today. Event begins at 5:30pm at Mad Cow Theatre, 54 West Church St. For additional information, go to: Madcowtheatre.com Thursday, February 14
Mad Theatre and the Straz Center present “Heathers The Musical” a darkly delicious story of Veronica Sawyer, a brainy, beautiful teenage misfit who hustles her way into the most powerful and ruthless clique at Westerberg High: the Heathers. But before she can get comfortable atop the high school food chain, Veronica falls in love with the dangerously sexy new kid: J.D. When Heather Chandler, the Almighty, kicks her out of the group, Veronica decides to bite the bullet and kick Heather's aerobicized butt…but J.D. has another plan for that bullet. Production runs till March 3. For Tickets and show times go to: Strazcenter.org Friday, February 15 Cristoph's Tampa presents “Puppy Love,” which is a Pup night starring Alexis De La Mer and DJ Greg Anderson. 21 and over with no cover! Southern Nights Tampa presents “Surge Fridays” with International DJ Cindel,
spectacular décor, sexy Go-Go dancers and much more. This is an 18 and over event with doors opening at 9pm and no cover till 10pm. Saturday, February 16
The Gay Men's Chorus of Tampa Bay presents “Valentines Cabaret Show: "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" at the ballroom of the Historic Lozano Cigar Factory (1410 N 21st St Tampa). The GMCTB's Cabaret is a must see showcasing their members singing solos, duets and group acts. They will have you loving, laughing and leaving happy, all while raising funds to continue the songs of The Gay Men's Chorus of Tampa Bay. For more information, or to purchase tickets, go to: Gmctb.org. The Parliament House presents the 6th Annual Red Ball featuring Monique Heart from RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4. Shows at 10pm and 12am with the Footlight Players. Doors open at 8pm, and the Theatre doors open at 9:30pm. DJ Briana spins till 3am, with 18+ welcome. General admission is $12, with VIP admission $25
and includes a photo opportunity after the midnight pool stage show. Red Attire Strongly Recommended. Southern Nights Tampa presents DJ Kitty Glitter (Direct from Australia). 18 & Over welcome with show time at 12am starring
Roxxxy Andrews, Jade Embers and guests! The Dr. Phillips Center in association with AEG Presents, present “Dancing With The Stars: Live! – a Night to remember” The show will feature fan favorite
professional and troupe dancers in a brand-new production showcasing every type of dance style as seen on ABC's hit show Dancing with the Stars, ranging from ballroom and jazz to modern and hip-hop. Choreographed by Emmy award-winning choreographer Mandy Moore and Dancing with the Stars Executive Producer Ashley Edens-Shaffer, this event delivers a spectacular night of show-stopping dance performances from worldrenowned dancers including Brandon Armstrong, Alan Bersten, Witney Carson, Artem Chigvintsev, Val Chmerkovskiy, Sasha Farber, Jenna Johnson, Gleb Savchenko, Emma Slater, Hayley Erbert and Britt Stewart, and many more! For tickets, go to: Drphillipscenter.org.
Neema Barhami and Latin Saturdays “Amor” present Farrah Moan from RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4. Doors open at 9pm, with admission $10 before 11pm and a Meet & Greet for only $20 (includes admission). 21 + welcome. Feautring DJ's Kraig Mattew &
Franklin Cruel. With Performances by Nouba Soleil, Natalie Nayles and Cara Cavalli. For Additional information, go to: Stonewallorlando.com. Monday, February 18 The Dr. Phillips Center in association with Ed Atamian present Carol Burnett “An Evening of Laughter and Reflection.” Burnett will take questions from the audience,
show video clips from her shows in a format that harkens back to the legendary openings of The Carol Burnett Show where her studio audience had an unfiltered opportunity to engage Carol with questions and receive spontaneous answers. “I love the spontaneity of these evenings,” said Carol. “I never know what anyone is going to ask, or say, or do, so it keeps me on my toes!” Showtime at 7:30pm, and to purchase tickets, go to: DrPhillipscenter.org Tuesday, February 19 Tonight and tomorrow night, the Van Wezel in association with Wilde Lexus Sarastoa and ABC 7 present “Finding Neverland.” The show tells the incredible story behind one of the world's
most beloved characters: Peter Pan. Playwright J.M. Barrie struggles to find inspiration until he meets four young brothers and their beautiful widowed mother. Spellbound by the boys' enchanting makebelieve adventures, he sets out to write a play that will astound London theatergoers. With a little bit of pixie dust and a lot of faith, Barrie takes this monumental leap, leaving his old world behind for Neverland, where nothing is impossible and the wonder of childhood lasts forever. The magic of Barrie's classic tale springs spectacularly to life in this heartwarming theatrical event. For tickets and show times Vanwezel.org Friday, February 22 The Parliament House in association with Miracle of Love, Inc. present an Intergalactic Experience – Wigs in Space! Experience big wigs, big entertainment, as well as big prizes. The Theme is Space, so make sure to come out in theme. For Tickets and additional information please visit Parliamenthouse.com Saturday, February 23 Mr Ms Adrien in association with Southern Nights Orlando present “Gaga Ball 3.” The show is a fully staged and choreographed drag tribute production
dedicated to the career of Grammy award winning artist Lady Gaga, and her legions of dedicated fans. The show is a full hour packed with Gaga's most iconic looks and performances, and will make you feel like you are front row at a live Lady Gaga concert. Showtime at 8:30pm, with doors opening at 8pm. Tickets are $10 pre-sale, and $20 at the Door. For tickets and information, please visit: mrmsadrien.ticketleap.com/gag aball. Barcodes Orlando presents their monthly (last Sat of every month) Leather night with live demo's and as always no cover! Tuesday, February 26 An Intimate Evening of Songs and Storytelling with threetime Grammy Award-winner Sarah McLachlan and featuring
Vanessa Freebairn-Smith takes place at the Van Wezel. With over 40 million albums sold worldwide and 12 Juno Awards to her name, McLachlan was recently inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame and has solidified her place as one of the most celebrated singer-songwriters in the entertainment industry. Showtime at 8pm, and for tickets go to: Vanwezel.org, Cristoph's Tampa presents “Sexy Singlet,” starring Lady Janet and DJ Mike Sklarz. 21 and over with no cover!
Email WhatsHot@HotspotsMedia.com to have your event considered for “What’s Hot.”
hot shots photos by tony fowler
Cristoph’s Tampa Bear Soup
hollywood By Romeo San Vicente
Sarah Paulson flies over the cuckoo’s nest Ryan Murphy, the man who currently owns most of television, has another show coming. It’s called Ratched, and you’ll need to reach back to at least the 1970s to get the title’s reference, because that was when the film adaptation of Ken Kesey’s novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest won Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Actor, and, for the purposes of this explanation, Best Actress for Louise Fletcher, who played the monstrous Nurse Ratched. For this upcoming project – already given a deal for two seasons and 18 episodes – newcomer Evan Romansky has created an origin story, one that will star Murphy regular Sarah Paulson as a younger version of the nurse who grew to be a demon of the mental health care system. And there’s an all-star cast rounding out the event: Judy Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Corey Stoll, Amanda Plummer, Sharon Stone and Finn Wittrock, among others. You’ll be hearing plenty about
it as the airdate approaches. It’s Netflix, after all; they know where to find you.
Laverne Cox and Sara Gilbert move to Weird City Jordan Peele is, how they say, on a roll. From Get Out to the upcoming Us, to the planned Twilight Zone reboot: if he touches it, people want to see it. And now he’s working on a new series for YouTube Premium called Weird City, alongside Key and Peele’s Emmy-nominated writer
Bobby Brown as soul singer Rufus Thomas, singer K. Michelle (Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood) as Martha Reeves and, completing the triple play, Kelly Rowland as Gladys Knight. Now all DC members will have at least one musical legend role on their resumes (and in Beyoncé’s case, having also played Etta James, two). The show is coming up quickly, Feb. 5 on BET, so spend all your free moments until then dancing around to “I’m Coming Out.”
Jamie Lee Curtis RSVPs to your queer wedding Charlie Sanders. The premise is comedic scifi, and it’ll be an anthology series, which means lots of one-off guest stars. Cast so far are people like Sara Gilbert, Ed O’Neill, Rosario Dawson, Michael Cera, LeVar Burton, Dylan O’Brien and Laverne Cox, all in as-yetunknown combinations and storylines. Six episodes are coming later this year to YouTube Premium – in case you didn’t know that existed, you’re welcome – so you’ve got some time to learn how to throw it from your phone to your TV.
Unless she’s been to your wedding, you might not instantly know the name Sara Cunningham. But she’s the mother of a gay son, and she’s written a memoir about it titled How We Sleep At Night. And what makes her story unique is that wedding thing. Last summer Sara got national attention by posting on Facebook that she would be a stand-in mom at any LGBTQ wedding that found itself rejected by the biological parents. And now Jamie Lee Curtis has purchased the film rights to Cunningham’s 2014 book,
When Beyoncé starred in Dreamgirls, she wasn’t playing Diana Ross specifically, but OK she actually sort of was. And now, in brand new Destiny’s Child-member-playing-Diana Ross news, Michelle Williams will be portraying the real deal for a series coming soon to BET. It’s called American Soul and its plot is aligned with that of the legendary TV show Soul Train and its impact on American pop culture. Sinqua Walls (Power) will star as Don Cornelius, with Williams as Ross, Gabrielle Dennis (Rosewood) as Tina Turner,
Photo by Starfrenzy
Call Michelle Williams “Miss Ross”
presumably as a starring vehicle for herself. Curtis was quoted in the Washington Post as having been “moved by [Cunningham’s] journey,” and now we’re imagining a heartwarming dramedy where the Halloween heroine buys upwards of 27 dresses to wear at a variety of queer nuptials, dashing across town in a zany get-me-to-the-church-on-time speeding car chase to attend her third ceremony in one afternoon. These are free ideas we’re giving you, Hollywood.
Romeo San Vicente is usually Best DILF at weddings.
hot shots photos by tony fowler
Southern Nights Tampa Bob The Drag Queen
By Chris Azzopardi
D
Damn that bulging carpometacarpal joint. Without it, Margaret Cho’s kink play could’ve been trouble-free, but nope – that thumb joint has been “the bane of my existence since 1991,” she tells me. That’s right: I talked to Margaret Cho and we somehow landed on the topic of fisting. These things happen! (They especially do if, like I did, you launch your convo with Cho by informing her that your introduction to the word “fisting” was via her early stand-up). Clearly, our afternoon chat took many wild and sexually freewheeling turns when the trailblazing comic called to discuss executive producing Mercy Mistress, an Asian-led web series exploring BDSM through the relationship of its lead, a queer ChineseAmerican dominatrix named Mistress Yin (played by actress-activist Poppy Liu), and her new client. The series is based on sexwork activist and BDSM educator Yin Q’s memoir. Difficult digits aside, Cho discussed her intro to kink, diversity casting, what makes queer sex special and why Christian Grey should’ve been a sub.
You’ve long spoken openly about sex, sexuality and kink. Why is it important to you to talk about queer sex in your work? It’s just another way to embellish identity. There are just ways of being ourselves, and when you’re queer and you come out, you come out to a world where you kind of need to figure out who you are because the examples aren’t out there for us. They aren’t defined. The lanes aren’t so, like, obvious (laughs). So, you really need to create it. When I was growing up in the ’80s and ’90s we had to deal with AIDS, which was such a huge, difficult monstrosity to get your head around and also to understand what we could do sexually that was not fluid bonded, so that’s where bondage and BDSM – all that kind of stuff – really came into the culture in a very, very big way. So, I was working in San Francisco at a lesbian BDSM collective making leather dildos and vaginas. (Laughs)
I believe you’re referring to Stormy Leather. Yeah. Way back when. And so I was just very interested in that world, and it just developed alongside everything. Now, BDSM is very mainstream with Fifty Shades of Grey and that kind of stuff, so it’s cool.
Is there a toy that you made that you were particularly proud of, like, “Hey, I did that”? No, because I wasn’t designing them. It was more just the sheer number of ways you could make a strap-on. You could do a chin one, you could do a forehead one, like a unicorn. You could do a thigh one. I think the thigh one actually makes a lot of sense, ergonomically. It’s actually better for the lower back than the traditional jockstrap harness.
A strap-on that’s easier on the lower back appeals to me as I get older. Yeah, you wanna make sure you can continue doing these repetitive movements. Strap-ons, there’s a great appeal to them. They’re really fun, and even if you’re not necessarily in a queer sexual relationship, you could definitely use them in any way, shape or form. I think that it adds another element. If you can add another phallus, it’s always a positive.
Regarding your own queer sex education, whose examples were you following while growing up in the ’80s? (Sex-positive feminist author) Susie Bright had a major role in that, and in the digital age somebody like (erotica writer) Violet Blue, who’s a good friend of mine. Also (former porn actress and sex-positive feminist) Nina Hartley, who is a very, very old friend of mine and really great. They’re people who really just
showed me the ropes, as it were. (Laughs)
Is Mercy Mistress a good introduction for somebody who doesn’t know much about the kink world? Yeah, I think it’s a great, great introduction. And also we’re seeing Asian-Americans in a way we’ve never seen before, which I think is really incredible too. That’s what I get really excited about. I think we’ve really gotten to this place that we’re looking at diversity as something that is really necessary and really important, so I love that. And it really puts the control back into our hands, like we can actually control the narrative, as opposed to being an object; we’re actually running the thing. That’s really amazing.
I think we’ve really gotten to this place that we’re looking at diversity as something that is really necessary and really important, so I love that.” How did you get involved as a producer? My company, Animal Family, is one of the producers. We got into contact with the Mercy Mistress people; they just really spoke to us, and we really loved what they were doing. We loved the landscape of the world they were showing. We loved everything. It just seemed like a natural fit.
When did your interest in kink first pique? Growing up in San Francisco around that era, queer politics was a very big deal. I grew up on Polk Street, which was really the epicenter; that and the Castro, where Harvey Milk was doing a lot of work. So I think being around all of that, it just seemed inevitable. My father owned a gay bookstore and he hired all these employees who were identifying in different ways, who were transitioning. Transitioning started in the ’70s, which is an incredible thing if you think about how early this was. People were transitioning, of course, before that, but that was the first experience I have had with people who were deciding to define their own gender. I got hired at Stormy Leather and I started meeting trans men for the first time. Before that it was just male-to-female trans women,
Mercy Mistress: “It’s a real place of honesty and truth around what kink is.”
but this was different, when it was female-tomale transition. That was a very big, eyeopening thing; it just gave female body sexuality so much agency, which I had never really experienced before, and I thought that was really amazing and powerful.
In recent years, the trans community has been given a greater mainstream platform. But as we know, and as you point out, transgender people have existed for a very long time. Yeah, it’s been there; it’s just that we as a society haven’t looked to them, and yet they’ve changed and shaped culture for centuries. It’s really been forever but we just didn’t know.
I think the same can be said about the kink community in a way, don’t you? It’s something that’s been there but we haven’t explored it in a mainstream way.
And when we do, do we get it right? Did Fifty Shades of Grey get it right?
Well, my feeling about Fifty Shades of Grey is, for the Christian Grey character, there’s no way he could actually be a dominant. He has to be a male submissive. Usually men who are wealthy, in great positions of power, and who have that much luxury at their disposal are going to be a male submissive because they are just sick of being in charge. That, to me, is where I find it to be off. It’s almost like Cinderella or something. It’s kind of this weird European folktale where these gender roles are very stringent and don’t allow for the men to fully explore their potential in who they really could be.
Because, according to Hollywood, it’s the way a man should act. Yeah. And that’s the reason for these stories: to enforce the status quo and keep the culture intact and keep us from overstepping. But I don’t want to be told that when you’re in there for fantasy. It’s not authentic to me. But I
I’ve actually gotten way more vanilla, which is funny, because when you’re out there, you’re trying to show off a little bit, to some degree, as to what you can take and what you’re able to handle (laughs). And embellish that – embellish your own prowess. As I’m approaching 50, rapidly, I feel like, actually, I’m much more sedate, but I appreciate all the things that I’m experiencing seeing. I think that’s great. But yeah, still can’t get that thumb-knuckle in for the fisting! (Laughs)
When it comes to kink, does anything shock you anymore? Mm, no. Because it’s in the realm of play, nothing should be off-limits. It’s play for a reason; it’s just fantasy. It’s these cathedrals we construct around our imagination; they have no bearing to what is in the real world, you know? If it’s just play, everything is just play. People get into very wild situations that we don’t have to judge or that we don’t have to say, “That’s too far,” because it’s not for public consumption; it’s just between two people or between however many people have agreed on this particular fantasy.
Have you seen “Call Me By Your Name?” Yes, yes, I’ve seen that. Some in the queer community wanted to see Armie Hammer’s character eat the peach after Timothée Chalamet’s Elio ejaculated in it because that’s what happens in the book. Was that a missed kink opportunity? I think that’s exactly what should happen, but homophobia still exists, even in the realm of film and in the realm of not even what’s real, but what’s possible. appreciate that it exists – and I appreciate that it sent countless millions of people to explore what this kind of sexuality is.
What perspective does Mercy Mistress offer on kink that hasn’t yet been portrayed in the media? It’s a real place of honesty and truth around what kink is. That it’s just about a turn-on and the different kinds of people encountered in this world. The images of people in it are very authentic, which I think is very different.
A gay character tells a straight character: “You all need some kind of manual to figure out kinky sex.” What can LGBTQ people teach the straight community about kink? We listen to our instincts because that’s all we have to go on. And that’s the biggest truth: We do what we like because we fight so hard to get to do what we like.
How does your “interests and limits” list these days compare to your kink origins?
It seems Hollywood is walking a tight rope. Bohemian Rhapsody was damaging when it comes to the way gay sex is portrayed in film. I think Hollywood really has muted our sex lives to be palatable for mainstream consumption. What’s your take on the way queer sex is portrayed in mainstream Hollywood films? We’re always going to have to strive for better and strive for more. There are examples where it actually goes very well. I’m thinking about Wong Kar-wai’s Happy Together, which has incredible sex scenes, and that film is about 20 years old, and it’s from Hong Kong and that’s another element of it. Hopefully we’ll get more of that. But you know, it’s still developing and still growing. There’s just the complexity of the sexuality too. I just saw Boy Erased, which to me did a great job in really talking about how we can be misguided and misunderstood, like whether it’s assault, that it actually can be assault, that there’s all these questions: Is this rape? And, yes, it is. That was actually the first
...homophobia still exists, even in the realm of film and in the realm of not even what’s real.” time I had seen that issue come up in a mainstream movie.
Do you think that scene was important? I thought it was important because it was giving permission for a male survivor to say that it happened and there was no thinking of, “Oh, he deserved it,” or, “He wouldn’t mind that because he wanted that anyway.” It being brought up was really meaningful, and as a survivor myself it was a really important thing that I had never seen in a film, especially with male characters. That kind of really blew my mind.
I’d like to come back to Asian representation in media, since you blazed that trail with your 1994 sitcom AllAmerican Girl. As someone who keeps finding new ways to break that ground, and after Crazy Rich Asians and Mercy Mistress, what do you hope is the next step for Asian representation? I just hope there’s more, which there is, which is great. I’m really excited about it. I’m so thrilled about Crazy Rich Asians and, of course, All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. And now both of those projects are going to have sequels. They’re already in the works; it’s happening. And there’s more and more. So now we’re looking at more of an excitement around Asian-American participation in entertainment, which is something I’ve been working on for more than 20 years, trying to get there, so this is a realization of that dream. It’s very exciting.
As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in GQ, Vanity Fair and Billboard. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).
frivolist By Mikey Rox
8 Ways I’m Snatching My Happiness Back in 2019
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Allowing myself to be proud of me My grandmother – the one who disowned me for being gay – used to talk a lot about the importance of humility. In fact, she prosthelytized the importance of many “Christian” ideals, but rarely exercised them herself, especially where love and acceptance is concerned. And that’s the primary problem with people trying to teach you to be you: They have no goddamn idea what they’re talking about. As a result, I grew up being ashamed of who I was while not allowing myself to celebrate the growth and progress I make as a human being every day. But that stops here. I have so much to be proud of as not only a man but a gay man. I’m young(ish), successful, blessed in so many ways, and I’ve done all my adulting on my own. That deserves a big pat of the back – and I’m giving it to myself this year.
I’ll say it: The past few years have been a f*cking nightmare. The climate in this country – and, arguably, the world – is so volatile that it’s a wonder any of us get a good night’s sleep. I find myself angry, negative and depressed for no good reason, but at the end of the day how much does any of the shit we put ourselves through really matter? After a lot of reflection, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t. None of it. Not a single thing impeding your or my happiness is worth what we’re feeding it. So why not stop? I am – starting now. Here’s how I’m snatching back my happiness in 2019.
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Not giving into short-term gratification I love shopping. If we’re hunting for clothing and homegood bargains, I’m there in a jif. But it’s an expensive habit to maintain. I update my wardrobe and add décor to my homes more often than I’d like to admit (even though my bank account serves as a constant reminder), but I’ve recently made a resolution that nothing new comes through these doors for the entire year. How will I do that? I’ve started by cutting up credit cards and unsubscribing from every marketing email that has landed in my inbox since January 1. It’s a virtual ghost town in there these days. The next phase is to start editing my closets and my homes for items I can sell to help reach my New Year’s saving resolution, which this year is in the double-digit thousands – all cash in hand. It’s lofty, but I’m determined – and that’s all the motivation I need.
Downsizing my entire life
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I’ll start selling my material possessions this year because I don’t need them where I’m going. My long-term goal for 2019 is to unload all my real estate, purchase a van that’s suitable for daily life, and hit the road. As I’ve sat in my properties – alone – for the past few years, I’ve had plenty of time to think, and the question I keep coming back to is, what the hell are you doing here? The answer is nothing. I’m doing nothing where I am but wasting the time I could be spending out there in the world experiencing life instead of literally watching it pass me by. It’s a major change that’ll signify the start of the second half of my life story, but I eat challenges like this for breakfast.
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Cutting out alcohol so I can remember what I’m really like Many people have a difficult relationship with alcohol, myself included. And as I reflect on the over 20 years that I’ve allowed alcohol to ruin relationships, squander opportunities and otherwise fuck me up physically, mentally and emotionally, I have to consider the alternative. So beginning at the top of the year, I decided to live alcohol free until April 1. That’s not the date when I’ll start drinking again, but rather a date that gives me enough time to clear my head, concentrate on my fitness goals and then weigh my options. Will I be the better person I want to be, or am I a d*ck sober too? Time will tell.
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Finding more people who raise my spirits I don’t like to put down our own LGBTQ community, but we can be real cunts to one another. It’s not just us, though. There are so many people out there who are committed to infecting everyone around them with their negativity that I sometimes dread leaving the house. Everybody has an attitude these days, and for what? Who knows, but I’m canceling all my dates with those downers and only giving time to people who make me feel good about myself. Thank you, next.
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Avoiding as much political media as I can I’m turning off the TV, changing the settings on the news I receive, and avoiding all political debates on social media. It’ll drive you fucking nuts if you give into it, and we can’t let the trolls control us. Look the other way and have nothing to say is my new motto. It’s everybody for themselves out there.
Practicing more self-care
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More hot baths, facials, massages, meditation, gym classes, yoga, (safe) SEX, and whatever else makes my mind and body feel like I deserve this. Because I do.
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Refusing to do anything I don’t want to do I’m already very good at saying no, but I have a conscience and I sometimes feel bad when I’m direct to someone who’s kind. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I’m also not willing to engage in situations that bore me or make me uncomfortable or that cost me money I don’t want to spend. Thank you for asking, but I’m politely declining, perhaps for eternity. I don’t owe you an answer why either.
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyrox
hot bodies By Tom Bonanti
Daily Habits That You Can Kick to the Curb in 2019
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It's pretty much a given that smoking, drunk driving and eating too much fried food can kill you. However, there are other daily habits that are just as nasty, and equally as lethal, too. Which one(s) on this list do you have, and why not make 2019 the year to kick bad habits to the curb? Not making enough time for family and friends can take years off your life. People are social beings meant to form and thrive in relationships. Sure, no family is perfect, and yes, friends can sometimes disappoint you, but engaging with people can bring joy and satisfaction beyond measure. If your work schedule is so frenetic that you can't make time to socialize, then it's time to revise and reprioritize your life. Too much worrying can lead to all kinds
of health problems. Such events as loss of a job, death of a loved one, or a serious health crisis are certainly life occurrences that cause worry and anxiety. However, fretting over little details in daily life (i.e., a co-worker who's always late, a boyfriend who leaves dishes in the sink, etc.) are really a waste of time. Carrying too much stress can increase your blood pressure which causes heart disease. In addition, stress can make you moody, cranky, and unpleasant to be around. Constantly comparing yourself to others is a lesson in futility. Thanks to social media bombarding us every minute, people are constantly posing, posting, exposing and bragging about themselves. It's hard not to feel inferior or “left behind� sometimes. Take a break from that screen. Take stock in who you are, be thankful for your gifts and accomplishments and take every opportunity to be good to yourself.
Using any form of medication, even over the counter meds can lead you into dangerous territory. Taking pain killers when you don't need them can result in opioid addiction, which is a grave issue in this country. Instead of taking something to relax you after a trying day, take a walk with your pet or a good friend. Never use old, expired prescriptions or someone else's medicine. Not getting enough sleep is a recipe for all kinds of problems. A good night's sleep (7-9 hours) is as important to your health as exercising and healthy eating. Sleep is the body's way of renewing itself; when you don't get enough, it can interfere with your digestive system, immune system, and mental health. Lack of sleep can also lead to weight gain and put you at greater risk for colds and flu.
Stop sitting so much. Whether you're at work sitting in front of a screen, or at home in front of the TV binge watching your favorite series, a sedentary life will kill you. At work, get up every half hour and stretch and move around. At home, do crunches and stretches on the floor or over an exercise ball while watching your shows.
Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and massage therapist (MA#40288) with his own one on one facility www.pumpnincgym.com in Ft. Lauderdale. Contact trainertomb@aol.com with questions or to set up an appointment!
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Hamilton Comes to Central Florida
It is the SHOW that took Broadway by storm, redefined it, and garnered a ton of awards including many TONYs. Hamilton is the story of America's Founding Father Alexander Hamilton, an immigrant from the West Indies who became George Washington's right-hand man during the Revolutionary War and was the new nation’s first Treasury Secretary. Featuring a score that blends hip-hop, jazz, blues, rap, R&B, and Broadway, HAMILTON is the story of America then, as told by America now. With book, music and lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda, direction by Thomas Kail, choreography by Andy Blankenbuehler and music supervision and orchestrations by Alex Lacamoire, Hamilton is based on Ron Chernow’s biography of Founding Father Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton features scenic design by David Korins, costume design by Paul Tazewell, lighting design by Howell Binkley, sound design by Nevin Steinberg, hair and wig design by Charles G. LaPointe, casting by Telsey + Company, Bethany Knox, CSA, and General Management by Baseline Theatrical. The musical is produced by Jeffrey Seller, Sander Jacobs, Jill Furman and The Public Theater.
The cast consists of Ta’rea Campbell (Angelica Schuyler), Marcus Choi (George Washington), Elijah Malcomb (John Laurens/Phillip Hamilton), Joseph Morales (Alexander Hamilton), Shoba Narayan (Eliza Hamilton), Fergie, L Philippe (Hercules Mulligan/James Madison), Kyle Scatliffe (Marquis De Lafayette/Thomas), Nyla Sostra (Peggy Schuyler/Maria Reynolds), Jon Patrick Walker (King George), Nik Walker (Aaron Burr), and an ensemble cast consisting of 29 other actors. Central Florida is lucky enough to have Hamilton Playing in 2 locations: The Dr. Phillips Center for the performing Arts through Sunday February 10. For tickets go toL Drphillipscenter.org The Straz Center for the Performing Arts from February 12 through March 10. For tickets go to StrazCenter.org The Hamilton Original Broadway Cast Recording is available everywhere nationwide. The Hamilton recording received a 2016 Grammy for Best Musical Theatre Album.
For information on Hamilton, visit hamiltonmusical.com
hot advice By Andreus Quinones
Communication is the key to solving most of our problems...
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Dear Andreus, Everything I knew of my relationship was just shattered this past Christmas. My boyfriend and I had dinner with our closest friends, and then went out for drinks. As the night progressed, I noticed that he was getting pretty wasted, and I suggested we go home. Right in front of our friends, he started insulting me and telling me that I need to f*ck off and go home if I wanted to. When I finally did get him to go, it was a difficult ride home, with him arguing and bickering with me the whole way. When we arrived at home, I told him that I was embarrassed, and that I think he needs to be more responsible with his drinking. He turned around and punched me in the face. I never knew he could be violent, and now I don't know what to do. Sincerely, Bruised Dear Bruised, Seems like you have some serious decisions to make. My mother used to always tell me that alcohol was truth serum, and I tend to agree. When people start drinking, their filters drop, and they become much less inhibited. That is normally the time that you get the underlying persona. Verbal abuse is unacceptable, and physical abuse should not be tolerated. The moment that someone puts their hands on you, it should be a game changer. Most of the time, given the right circumstances, it will happen again. Anyone who truly loves you, and respects you, will find a civil way to resolve whatever issues there might be. Hitting someone, is a blatant and aggressive sign of control and disregard. Don't allow bruised to evolve into broken.
Dear Andreus, I am in an interracial marriage. I am Latino, and my husband is White. We love each other dearly, and when it is just he and I, my husband treats me with the utmost respect. The issue is, his friends. Every time we all get together, or they come to our house, they start making jokes about Latinos, asking things like “Did you come in a boat?”, or trying to talk with a Latino accent. I have said something to my husband a couple of times about it, but he says that they are just playing and not to take it seriously. I find it offensive, and it really makes me not want to be around any of them. I am proud of who I am. How can I stop this? Sincerely, Proud Latino Dear Proud Latino, First let me say that you should be proud, no matter what country you represent. Personally, I can relate. I am Puerto Rican, but darkskinned. My complexion always seems to be the focus of some humor, and it makes me uncomfortable. I started saying something, and calling people out at the exact moment that they say something that I find offensive. Most of the time when people are going to offend you, they start their comment with “No offense, but”. You have to teach people how to treat you. Let them know that you feel disrespected and to not do it again. Sometimes people don't know better, and you have the right to put them in check. Also, if your husband loves you, he has a responsibility to tell his friends that it is disrespectful.Unfortunately, this type of racial and cultural disrespect exists in the world, and even more so in the gay community. The only way to stop it, is by taking action, one by one.
around tampa bay by amy demilo
Dana Douglas presented Miss Daytona Beach Continental at Hamburger Mary’s. Congrats to winner Sonja and alt. Tonya.
Former Gayboy bartender, Cory Z from “MTV’s Ex on the Beach” spotted in Ybor.
Saturdays at Tequila’s YBor.
New Hot Spot, G St. Pete.
Jose Dones-Star Go-Go Boy.