BrightStart May June 2017

M AY / J U N E 2017

MATARIKI MÄ€ORI NEW YEAR EAT THE RAINBOW NE TAKE O PLEASE

IT'S ONLY NATURAL

Welcome

6

to the BestStart family

We are blessed in New Zealand to have an internationally admired organisation that cares for our nation’s most vulnerable – children aged from 0-5 years old. Plunket sees more than 90% of newborns every year, offering support, advice and resources to families.

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The way they do this includes home and clinic visits, community events and activities, parenting education and of course PlunketLine their free 24/7 telephone advice service. Because Plunket is nearly 110 years old, most of us have memories of the support given to us or our family. And it’s because of that level of involvement, Plunket helps set expectations around the support we offer to each other in our society.

To my mind and Chloe’s mind, Plunket’s invaluable support makes us a more caring, kinder and healthier nation.

It was an easy decision for us at BestStart to enter a Star Sponsorship relationship with Plunket, and this year, like they have for the previous two years, our 270 centres went all out to raise funds for their local Plunket in our own BestStart Plunket Appeal. We had everything from pouring sludge onto teachers, to Teddy Bear picnics and Art Auctions. The passion and commitment was there from centre staff and families to raise our final sum of over $37,000.

It’s with much pride that I thank all those involved for your support of local Plunket communities, helping them to make a positive difference in the lives of children.

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IN T H I S MON T H'S I SSUE 4 Shorts

Wayne

6 It's Only Natural

CEO AND FOUNDER OF BESTSTART

by S a n j i ta R at ta n

PLUNKETLINE OFFERS FREE SUPPORT ON 0800 933 922, 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK

8 Toilet Training

by Stephanie Jervis

9 Eat The Rainbow

by Samara McDowell and Sue Small

11 Matariki 12 Parental Conflict

by Kathy Eugester

14 Roundabout Editorial: Stephanie Jervis Cover Photography: Vincent Ward

Design: Cindy Hurst

Digital Art: Svet Mateev

For advertising and enquiries, please phone: 09 250 4136 Bright Start is published by BestStart P.O. Box 276-177, Manukau City 2241 Phone: 09 250 4136

Fax: 09 250 1072

Email: brightstart@best-start.org

BestStart is New Zealand’s largest private early childhood provider.

Over 19,000 families are enrolled annually in BestStart centres around New Zealand.

Bright Start aims to increase our sense of family and to better connect our parents, teachers and families.

Circulation 55,000 ISSN 2537-7388 (Print)

ISSN 2537-7396 (Online) Bright Start 3

Shor ts Win this stylish

POD timber highchair!

This highchair would look great in any household, but it’s also functional feeding time can be difficult enough, so you need a highchair that is both convenient and reliable.

This chair has a three-position, removable adjustable tray, converts to a low chair, a five-point body harness and foam padding for extra comfort. Send us in the funniest thing a child in your life has said or done – and your child’s comment may be published in upcoming issues of Bright Start! Send entries to: BestStart POD Competition, P.O. Box 276-177, Manakau City 2241. Competition closes July 15th 2017.

Available at Baby City and Farmers.

SETTING BOUNDARIES IS A GOOD THING Teaching your child how to work within boundaries helps them learn to self-regulate – which they need to achieve goals later in life. Introduce age-appropriate rules to your children, and use positive guidance to ensure that they are followed. Being able to follow rules develops your child’s ability to self-manage. It takes good self-management to be able to work hard for something - to resist distractions or to continue to try despite setbacks.

4 Bright Start

Setting boundaries

Move

babyMove

Sometimes it’s hard to think that your wriggling, running, jumping person will ever be able to sit still long enough to learn at school – yet physical activity and learning are crucially linked. The coordination of the large muscles used in active play lays the foundation to help children master finer skills, such as the hand-eye coordination required to hold a pencil.

Expertise provided by Sophie Foster of Jumping Beans, child physical development specialists www.jumpingbeans.net

let’s go WATER ONLY!

Sugary drinks include fizzy drinks, juice and flavoured milk. They provide empty calories instead of the nutrient dense foods needed to fuel growing bodies. Sugary drinks are linked to weight gain and can cause tooth decay, Type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

Swap sugary drinks with water, water infused with fruit and herbs such as berries, lemon, apple and mint or serve plain milk.

Make water the main drink at meal times and offer plain milk regularly. Keep anything sweet for special occasions.

FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT WWW.HEARTFOUNDATION.ORG.NZ

2-6 Yr olds

Did you know your child is more likely to have an accident in the home than anywhere else?

It’s true! Statistics show us that home is where injuries occur most often - and falls are by far the most common injury. There are some small, practical steps to take that will reduce the risk of a fall injury. Firstly, think about a baby’s relatively large head compared to their body size. This makes them ‘top-heavy’ - it’s their head that is likely to hit the floor first, and head injuries can have long term consequences. So why do falls occur and what can you do to reduce the risk?

Baby is dropped when being carried up or down stairs or steps. The chance of this happening is reduced if you: • keep a hand free to hold the rail as you go down or up stairs • don’t let young children carry the baby on stairs.

They may not be steady on stairs themselves • keep stairs free of clutter that you could trip on Baby falls from a raised or high surface. The chance of this happening is reduced if you: • never leave the baby alone when they are on a raised surface - always stay with them. A baby may wriggle, push with their feet and roll to the edge of the bed or change table if left, even for a moment • change baby on the floor • fit a safety gate to prevent baby climbing up or falling down stairs before they start to crawl • get into the habit of always using the harness when baby is in the high chair and stroller • always place equipment such as a bouncer or car seat on the floor

TU MEKE TUI, by Malcolm Clarke (Mary Egan Publishing, Board book - $30.00) Tere the Tui would love someone to soar and sing with in the summer sky. When she tries to get Taitu the Takahe to join her, Tere puts herself in danger. Taitu comes to the rescue, a new friendship is made, and joyous singing results. New Zealand children are so lucky to have this lovely story illustrated by renowned street artist Flox. The card pages ensure that nothing is lost from the vibrant pictures as the pages are turned.

ALLIS HELPS ON THE FARM, by Sophie Siers (Millwood Press Ltd Paperback - $19.99) Toby and Uncle Jack have worked together to restore Allis, and now she is keen to help on the farm. There is hay to feed to the calves, and a log blocking the track that needs to be shifted. Will Allis be strong enough for all this work?

This second book in the ‘Allis’ series tells a story as delightful as the first. Sure to delight children from town or country.

HOORAY FOR BIRDS, by Lucy Cousins (Candlewick Press Hardback - $27.99) A visual delight from cover to cover, this book is in same style as ‘Hooray for Fish’. The large text contains rhyme and sounds which encourages the child to join in the actions and movement of a variety of birds, from crowing roosters to sleepy owls. Parents will find much to talk about as they explore the story.

The dynamic, simple, bright illustrations enhance this glorious bird romp.

My Meerkat Mum, by Ruth Paul (Scholastic Hardback - $21.00) A playful, mischievous meerkat family feature in this ‘day-in-the-life-of’ story.

New Zealand author Ruth Paul matches the quick and precise movement of the meerkats with a short and precise text, which also helps children learn about direction and position: ‘Left. Right. Up. Out. Meerkat mob sniff and scout’. As the sun moves across the sky the colour changes on the delightfully illustrated desert scenes where the ever-watchful mum gets her mob safely to bed.

Book Reviews kindly provided by Anne and Helen, from PLUNKETLINE: 0800 933 922

BOOKS FOR KIDS, 310 GREY STREET, HAMILTON

Bright Start 5

BY S ANJ I TA R AT TAN CEN T R E MAN AGER C O M M U N I T Y KI N DY J O N E S

IT'S ONLY

Natural I

GREW UP ON A FARM. MY FAVOURITE childhood activities – now my favourite memories – were shared with my siblings, outside: climbing trees; walking through bush; hunting for and collecting bugs; camping, planting and growing our own food; stomping through puddles and playing in the mud … Every time I reflect on these experiences, they enrich me more.

Professor Mason Durie’s 1998 Te Whare Tapa Wha model of holistic wellbeing uses the four pillars of a Māori meeting house, or wharenui, to represent the essential ingredients. For the wharenui to stand strong, all four pillars need to be sturdy.

Should one of the four pillars be missing or damaged, a person will be ‘unbalanced’, and may become unwell. Cultivating a relationship with nature helps strengthen all four pillars.

6 Bright start

Imagine a place where the carpet changes every day, the ceiling is a myriad of different colours, light, shadow and movement.

If we really want children to thrive, we need to let their connection to nature nurture them.

CLAIRE WARDEN, NURTURE THROUGH NATURE

Taha tinana (physical health) Good physical health is crucial for optimal development. Engagement with nature is the best, cheapest and most accessible way for children to learn the joy of using

and being ‘in’ their own strong little bodies.

Sand, mud, and water mean running, jumping, digging, planting and carrying - all of which contribute to balance and coordination. Early childhood is a key time in the development of gross motor skills, and good sustainable physical exercise practised early is the best indicator of adult fitness.

Taha hinengaro (mental and emotional health)

Children are excited about sharing their experiences - discussion comes naturally and easily. Remember the day your child walked in with a bug, a caterpillar, a stick he found in his driveway, or a shell she collected from the beach? Children’s minds are stimulated by nearly everything around them, so the more diverse, complex, appealing and engaging their surroundings, the more they learn and grow. These

Regular time spent Nature in nature can: Nurture • • • •

Increase self-esteem and resilience against stress and adversity Improve concentration, learning, creativity, cognitive development, cooperation, flexibility and self-awareness Can help reduce childhood obesity Create a sound foundation for lifelong environmental attitudes and values

experiences provide the foundation for academic learning. They also provide stimulation for making up stories and imaginative play.

When a child pretends to be a Gruffalo or a dinosaur, they are signalling that they belong to the world of these animals. They communicate and think and feel as the animals would.

Imagination and emotion are integral in their learning- a strong aspect of the Te Whare Tapa Wha model.

Aha wairua (spiritual health)

In Māori tradition, Papatūānuku is the land. She is a mother earth figure who gives birth to all things, including people. Trees, birds and people are born from the land, which then nourishes them. This nourishment is understood to be not only physical but spiritual.

Building a relationship with nature at a young age will help children to maintain their wairua, or soul. When children play in nature or with natural objects – pinecones, beautifully coloured shells, smooth and jagged river stones – all their physical senses are engaged: and this stimulates their sense of beauty and appreciation of things they find in the natural environment. Tending animals, planting a garden, and recreating observations from nature in play also

• • • • • • •

Walks in the local area Hunting for bugs Planting and growing Sand play Arts and crafts Experiences with animals Experiencing all four seasons

help children develop empathy for living things.

Taha whānau (family and social health)

Shared experiences develop a sense of belonging, and teach children the art of fitting into a community. Whether it be gardening, riding bikes, going on a bug hunt or creating a pretend animal farm indoors - they will learn to take turns, respect others’ decisions and opinions, and be confident in setting guidelines or making rules.

Working together enables children to learn the value of a shared discovery, and to experience and enjoy the calm that stems from a sense of belonging.

Being able to happily function in a group is fundamental to wellbeing.

Engaging with nature allows children to grow in all areas of their development – and creates a path for lifelong learning.

Must we always teach our children with books? Let them look at the stars and the mountains. Let them look at the waters and the trees and flowers on Earth.

Then they will begin to think, and to think is the beginning of real education.

- DAVID POLIS

It’s autumn, and the leaves are changing colour. There is fun to be had with those leaves…

Leafy animals.

Stick leaves onto paper with glue or paste.

Use larger leaves for the body, and smaller leaves for ears and eyes.

Decorate a window with autumn leaf stained glass windows.

Place leaves on the sticky side of transparent contact paper, and then position it on the window. To remove, just peel away and the leaves will come with it. Alternatively, place leaves between two sheets of waxed paper (waxy sides together), cover with a thin cloth and let the adults carefully iron the two together.

Add some crayon shavings with the leaves (a pencil sharpener works well for this) for more colour.

BY ST EPH AN I E J ER VIS ED I TO R

TOILET TRAINING:

A Beginner’s Guide T

HERE IS NO RIGHT AGE TO START TEACHING YOUR CHILD to use the toilet. Toilet training success is based on physical and emotional readiness, not a specific age. Most children become ready sometime between 18 and 48 months, however this can vary greatly. For the best success, watch your child for clues that they are ready before starting, they will tell you.

Signs that your child is ready.

Beginning toilet training too soon can be frustrating for both you and your child, and will likely make the process longer than necessary. It is best to wait until your child starts to show signs that they are ready to begin.

Firstly, your child will need to recognise the urge to use the toilet – and maybe even able to hold on for a short period. They may show discomfort at having a wet or dirty nappy and want changing straight away. They may even show more interest in what goes on in that room, and talk more about ‘poos’ and ‘wees’, or even telling you that they are going to go. Your child will need to be able to pull down his or her pants and pull them up again, and be able to sit on and rise from the toilet.

Moving out of Nappies.

• • • •

Take a calm and relaxed approach as time pressure or stress can make things take longer than they need to.

Start by working on the daytime. Night-time toilet training often takes much longer – months or even years longer. It is quite normal for 1 in 10 children to not be dry at night at 5yrs and this can run in families.

Start in warmer months if possible, when there are fewer clothes to remove (or wash!)

If using a toilet, place a stool or small box close by so your child can comfortably reach. Smaller toilet seats are available and can help them feel more secure. A potty is fine too, and some children prefer these.

8 Bright Start

•

Children learn best by copying, so if you are comfortable show ‘em how it’s done!

• Watch for signs that your child needs to use the toilet – squirming, swaying from side to side or clutching or grabbing at their nappy – before asking if they need to go. You want your child to make the connection between the feeling and needing to use the toilet. Asking too often can backfire. If your child says they don’t need to go when they clearly do, it might be time to take a short break and start again in a while.

• Your child needs time to make the connection between sitting on the toilet or potty, and really using it. If they wee while sitting, they will make the connection themselves, and after a while, work out what it feels like to need to go. For some children, making this connection is quick, for others it can take much longer.

• Keep calm if they don’t make it in time, they are learning. If things aren’t going well after a few weeks, or if everyone is getting upset, take a break. Put them back into nappies and try again when you’re both ready.

• Heap on the praise when it happens, telling them what they are doing well e.g. “Well done, you got to the toilet” or “You did well telling me”. Some children respond to sticker charts or being rewarded with special underwear as they learn to master the toilet. The best reward is positive reinforcement and pride at your child’s success. Whatever you choose, make it consistent with your parenting style.

• Start little boys sitting down and move to standing once they have mastered poos. They will need to practise their aim if you want to have a clean toilet again.

• Teach little girls to wipe from front to back to prevent germs from the rectum entering the vagina or bladder.

• Help children to flush, and carefully wash their hands with soap every time.

And finally, prepare yourself for accidents – they will happen!

BY SAMARA MCDOWELL WRITER

EAT THE

Rainbow Samara talks to Sue Small, Nutritionist and Best Start Business Manager

V

ARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE: and, as it turns out, of your diet.

By choosing foods in all these beautiful hues, it becomes easy to eat a healthy and balanced diet.

The phrase ‘eat the rainbow’ refers to the clever way nature highlights the nutrients in our foods. Different nutrients give different colours to the food they are found in, so the colour of your food tells you a lot about its nutritional value. Eating a wide variety of colours every day is the best approach to getting all the vitamins and minerals the body needs.

Appealing as they are, brightly coloured fruit and vegetables give us more than just a pretty picture. Our food can be divided into five main colour groups – red, orange/ yellow, green, white/brown and blue/ purple. The fruit and vegetables in each colour band are bursting with nutrients.

Let’s take a closer look at what’s in each colour band.

Colouring In …. Your Food

Knowing the science behind nutrition isn’t necessary to feed your family healthily.

By eating a wide variety of fresh fruit and vegetables, you can be sure you and your children are getting the range of nutrients

needed to strengthen and protect bodies, and stay happy and well.

As well as powering our bodies, the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants in different coloured fruits and vegetables protect against some cancers and disease.

Combining plentiful fruit and vegetables in your diet, along with regular daily exercise, contributes to a healthy weight. The diet of our grandparents – fruit and vegetables from the garden, home baking with no preservatives, small portions of protein such as meat, fish or eggs, and drinking water and milk only – has a lot to recommend it.

Healthy Eating

Establishing healthy eating habits early is crucial for a child’s development and future.

Broad tastes and curiosity about new flavours are helpful in a number of different ways. However, your strong-willed little one may have some different ideas about what they want to eat – and here’s where ‘eating your colours’ can make mealtimes easier for everyone. “It’s important not to make the table a battleground,” Sue says. Some foods immediately appeal to children, partly because they’re easy to handle: things like sweetcorn, banana, and strawberries. Try cutting vegetables into different shapes

and sizes – the novelty makes a meal more engaging to children. “When my children were young and fussy about vegetables, I found they would eat favourites such as cucumber slices and cherry tomatoes, and these, together with plenty of fruit each day got us through a tough stage. Sue advises

Choose from each colour group, each day. Some vegetables give you the goodness of more than one colour, for example cucumber, with its green skin and white flesh.

SUE SMALL

to take heart – the fussy stage passes for most children. “Keep offering lots of choice.

Once children start eating at friend’s houses their food choices widen.”

“Meals are a shared experience, and an important part of socialising your child,” Sue adds. “Children learn by watching and participating. So it’s great to make eating the evening meal together, around a table, a priority.”

Bright Start 9

RED

YELLOW/ ORANGE

GREEN

WHITE/BROWN

BLUE/PURPLE

NUTRIENT

Vitamin C

Vitamins A and C, carotenoids, antioxidants

Vitamins, folate, fibre

Vitamins, fibre

Fibre, antioxidants

BENEFIT

The powerful antioxidant lycopene is associated with reduced risk of some cancers and protection against heart attacks

Helps with vision and improves the immune system, as well as contributing to skin and bone health

Beloved by the liver, greens support the immune system, aid in digestion and nutrient absorption. They help to cleanse and detoxify the body

Garlic and onions contain sulphurbased nutrients that are key to protecting your DNA from damage

These foods are particularly heart healthy and help to support healthy blood pressure

Antibacterial properties can fend off infections and inflammation associated with acne and other skin irritations. Helps to build a shield against damage from the sun and environmental pollutants

Protects the skin from UV rays and free radicals, preserves collagen and maintains the structure of small capillaries (think brighter, undereyes)

BEAUTY PALETTE: it’s all about the skin you’re in.

Eating colourful fruits and vegetables is a great way to give your complexion a boost

Lycopene has antiaging properties.

Think healthy skin, hair and internal organs

Helps to absorb damaging UV light

Eat yourself young!

Selenium and vitamin C help renew each other in the body (with the help of vitamin E), and fight free radicals in all your cells

SOME OF THE FRUITS

Raspberries, cherries, strawberries

Nectarines, peaches, pineapple oranges, papaya

Grapes, kiwifruit, limes, green apples, green pears, honeydew

Brown pears, banana, dates

Blueberries, plums, prunes

SOME OF THE VEGETABLES

Tomato, red capsicum, red onion

Kumara, corn, yellow/orange capsicum, pumpkin

Lettuce, broccoli, peas, cabbage, spinach, kale, beans, celery

Potato, garlic, parsnips, onions, mushrooms, cauliflower

Eggplant, beetroot, purple carrots

Getting children to eat healthily – the tried and true!

Set a positive example By far the best predictor of a child’s eating behaviour is the eating patterns of his or her parents.

Make eating enjoyable Children love to use their imagination. Broccoli might be a disappointment if you were hoping for chips with your fish. But if we’re talking about five miniature trees for a young velociraptor’s consumption …

Involvement equals investment Have the children pick an ingredient or two, and talk with them about what to prepare for a meal over the week.

The famous ‘one bite’ rule Children may need to be exposed to new food several 10 Bright Start

times before they accept it. Try requiring the child to try at least one solid mouthful of a rejected food whenever it is served. As this food becomes more familiar to the child, it also becomes more attractive. But …Don’t insist on all food being eaten “One bite” isn’t “Now finish your plate.”

Do reward good behaviour Have meals associated with happy times, not with a battle of wills Separate different foods Unlike adults, children tend to like their food separated into piles. They also like the piles arranged around the edge of their plate, rather than in the centre.

Keep at it … Some children are more difficult than others and require persistence. Your patience will pay off.

We wouldn’t dream of putting diesel into a petrol driven car so why expect to live on fast food and sugary drinks and look and feel great?

Matariki Māori New Year T

HE SIGHTING OF MATARIKI IN the pre-dawn sky marks the beginning of Māori New Year. The star constellation (also known as Pleiades, or the Seven Sisters) appears in the sky just before the dawn in late May or early June. For some tribes, celebrations traditionally began when Matariki was first seen. For others it was celebrated on the first new moon, or the first full moon following the constellation’s rise. This year, Matariki begins 25th June 2017.

Matariki means the ‘eyes of god’ (or ‘little eyes’). One of several legends about Matariki says that when the sky

Matariki Pleiades

father Ranginui, and the earth mother Papatūānuku, were separated by their children, the god of the winds Tāwhirimātea became so angry that he tore out his eyes and threw them into the heavens.

As for many cultures around the world, the New Year is a time to look back, to remember and honour ancestors, and give thanks for what was. It is also a time to celebrate the present and to plan for the future. Nowadays, live cultural performances, soaring kites, hot-air balloons and fireworks contribute to the festivities.

The same star cluster we know as Matariki is recognised in many cultures:

Puanga Rigel

to the Greeks it is Pleiades, the seven daughters of the titan Atlas and the seanymph Pleione; in India it is called Krittika nakshatra, the six wives of Rishis the Great Bear. It has been referred to by the Aztecs, the Persians, North American Indian tribes, the Maya, and the Chinese to name a few.

It was painted onto cave walls in France 17,000 years ago, and some scholars suggest it is the Star in Najm, mentioned in the Koran. The Japanese car Subaru is even named after the stars – take a close look at their logo when next you see one.

How to find matariki •

Taumata-kuku Aldebaran Tauroru Belt of Orion

• •

Just before dawn, find the three bright stars in the low northeast -often called Orion’s belt, or ‘the pot’.

Track to the left until you find an orangey coloured star, named Aldebran or Taumata-kuku.

Follow further to the left until you find a small, bright cluster of stars.

This is Matariki.

B Y KATHY EUGESTER CHILD AND FAMILY THERAPIST, PLAY THERAPIST AND REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR

M U M N E H W AND DAD – A LOT !

F ight

12 Bright Start

All children would prefer that their parents didn’t argue or fight.

Yet it is common and normal for two parents, whether living together or separated, to have different ideas, opinions, values and priorities. In a successful relationship, ideas and opinions are expressed and listened to with respect, and differences of opinion are usually worked out through compromise.

W

HEN PARENTS DON'T communicate respectfully with each other and don't have a good strategy for resolving conflict, angry confrontations and hostile emotional tones erupt, and often have only temporary, or no resolution.

Conflict can range anywhere between yelling, criticising, blaming, put-downs, mocking, sarcasm and ignoring through to threats of harm, or actual harm such as breaking things, shoving, hitting or kicking.

It can happen in families living in the same house, to separated or divorced parents, even to those who have never been married or lived together.

While all couples argue occasionally, issues arise when children experience their parents’ unresolved, hostile and ongoing conflicts. This is true whether the parents live together or not. The greater the tension between parents and the longer it goes on, the more it is likely to negatively affect the children.

How does ongoing conflict harm children?

Children respond to the stress caused by ongoing parental conflict in a number of ways. It might include emotional or behavioural problems, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, low self-esteem, or learning difficulties. An angry household is unpredictable – long-lasting parental conflict creates a climate of tension, chaos and disruption, and children react by feeling anxious, frightened and helpless.

Rather than feeling safe and secure, they may worry about their own safety or the safety of their loved ones, even if there has been no actual violence. Children have powerful imaginations, and may imagine harm coming to themselves or someone they love. If parents are still together, they may fear divorce and what might happen if the family splits up.

Children naturally love both parents, and may worry that they have to take sides in a conflict. Feeling caught in the middle, or that they have to align with one parent is very destructive. They often feel that they are responsible for the fighting. This is especially true if the fight is about school, financial or other issues that directly concern them. Parental fighting creates

feelings of guilt in children, even if it isn’t about them.

The stress caused by ongoing conflict affects everyone in the family. The quality of parenting decreases, and the child’s relationship with their parents suffers. If a child constantly hears bad things about one parent from the other, their relationship with either parent may change – they may believe the negative comments, or (slightly older children) may start to resent the critical parent who refuses to respect the other.

Children naturally love both parents, and may worry that they have to take sides in a conflict.

What can you do to help your family?

1 Shield your child from destructive parental conflict. Parents need to model appropriate ways to manage strong emotions, including anger. Discuss sensitive or difficult issues in private, or in the presence of others such as counsellors, mediators or lawyers if necessary.

2 Learn and practice healthy communication skills. Differences of opinion are a part of normal everyday life, but there are healthy ways to deal with these differences and not so healthy ways.

Learn how to express your ideas and feelings respectfully, and how to actively and respectfully listen to others. Differences of opinion are okay, as long as they are handled constructively.

3 Make sure your child knows that the conflict and argument are not his or her fault. Children don’t need long explanations or details, just to know that you are having problems, and that you are both making an effort to work things out. Little ones tend to be egocentric, and if not told what is happening often feel they are to blame. It is important to reassure your child that they will always be loved.

4 Don’t criticise the other parent in front of your children. Children find it difficult to hear criticism of a parent as they identify with both Mum and Dad, and may start to feel guilty about having to choose one or

the other. Be careful when talking about the issues if the children are around – they hear more than you might think!

5 Don’t let your child take sides. Aligning with one parent to gain approval comes at a cost to the child. Children will easily feel guilt for abandoning or rejecting the other.

6 Don’t confide in your children, even if your child is coping well and seems happy and well adjusted. Get help from other adults -- friends, relatives or professionals.

Your children need to know that as their Mum or Dad, you are managing the situation. Children need to be children.

7 Help your child deal with their own anger. Anger is a normal emotion that arises in all people and everyone, adults and children, need to learn strategies to be able to express and control anger appropriately. There are many books, online resources and professionals that can help in this area.

8 Seek help for yourself. Chronic conflict causes a great deal of stress for everyone, including you. Ongoing emotional stress will affect your parenting skills, and children sometimes react by misbehaving, causing even more stress. Some parents may even try to cope by resorting to excessive alcohol or drug use. One of the most important things you can do in this situation is to look after yourself, both physically and mentally. Talk to a friend, a relative or a professional. Counselling services or parent education can help couples resolve communication issues and teach them better ways to interact.

Part of reducing conflict between parents is to understand how different parenting styles can, and do work together.

Model appropriate behaviour • • • • • •

Learn to manage strong emotions Assure your child s/he is loved and not to blame Don’t speak poorly of another parent Don’t let your child take sides Don’t confide in your children Seek help and/or support for yourself

Round

about

1. Early Years Wainui: Blueberries, Emu And Alpaca Recently we had an exciting trip to the blueberry and emu farm in Upper Hutt. This was both to celebrate Children’s Day, and extend our children’s learning around healthy eating.

Everyone had such a fabulous time picking all the delicious berries and interacting with emu, geese and alpaca. Terry, the farm owner, encouraged the children to make as much noise as possible, and run from one end of the farm to the other to make the emu dance and run around. We learned about where blueberries come from and which ones were ready to be picked and eaten. We enjoyed a picnic lunch, and parents had a fabulous time too!

2. Muddy At ABC Dannemora What a great way to make the most of the muddy puddles in our playground! ABC Dannemora’s playground is currently is under construction. Our babies loved splashing and jumping in puddles and made the most out of the rain. The children had a wonderful time, and it was a great sensory learning and physical experience too.

3. ABC Greerton – Have A Heart!

Our ‘Have a Heart Day’ brought our staff, tamariki, whānau and community together to celebrate what it means to look after our hearts, while also raising money to support Heart Foundation NZ. We offered opportunities to learn about healthy food - and the healthiest lunchbox won a prize of a box of delicious, nutritious fruit and vegetables provided by Shaun, our vege man from Kiwi Larder. Tony’s family won! We had the pleasure of Kirsty from Sport Bay of Plenty judge our lunchboxes, while providing us with information and resources for keeping active and well.

4. Butterflies And Dinosaurs For Community Kindy Powells After months of fundraising, our children were able to head off on a much anticipated trip to Butterfly Creek. This idea came about after a huge interest in both dinosaurs and the life cycle of butterflies emerged. As well as Butterfly House, of course, Butterfly Creek also features the prehistoric-themed attraction 14 Bright Start

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Dinosaur Kingdom. Our parents were extremely supportive, alongside many of the Waikato BestStart centres who came along and took part in a quiz night to raise money for the trip. Two large buses jam-packed with 84 parents and children roared off to explore. The outing was just as jam-packed with wonderful learning moments, extending our children’s curiosity, knowledge and understanding of the natural world around them.

5. Edukids North Road – Dress-Ups With A Cause WOW! We had such a great day dressing up in red and white stripes in support of our local Ronald McDonald Family Room. Our red and white striped socks have been a huge hit. We have managed to raise $435 so far! This is an amazing effort from all of our whānau and staff. We have also linked up with our local rest home to sell even more. These donations will be going to an amazing charity, so watch this space. We’ll keep you updated!

6. Community Kindy Naenae – Community Artists We have been out and about in the community, making connections as we go.

On one of our walks recently we visited Joe McMenamin (the artist who painted

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our mural) at his Naenae-based workshop.

Joe and some of his students from Naenae College were busy painting the 180 metre mural for the new Naenae Bowling Hub. Joe invited our children in to have a sneak peek at what they were doing, and add their own contributions to the mural too. This was a very important moment for us, as we are a huge part of the Naenae community and pride ourselves in supporting the community itself. Today we went for a walk to the Naenae Bowling Hub to see the finished product.

We walked along the fence so that we could see all the different cultural designs, birds, hands and bowling balls. The children were so impressed with the finished product, and so proud of the panel they contributed to.

Community Kindy Naenae were also invited to the blessing of the mural with the local Mayor Ray Wallace. It was great to be such a key part of this significant event in our community.

7. Community Kindy Papakura East Visits Primary School We were invited by the new entrant teacher Tina Mathews to spend the morning at Kelvin Road Primary School. The visits are part of our Transitioning to School procedure, and are designed to help engage our ‘Be School Ready’ tuakana children (mostly four- to five-year-

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olds). We ran into Dannyal and Sililo, who are Wade and Maria’s siblings - it was lovely to see them and share a special hug. Kairanigahua said, ‘We played with legos, we played on two phones, and you can have lunch there, and there were hula hoops and basketballs.’

8. Community Kindy Te Rapa Honoured Community Kindy Te Rapa, representing Waikato Community Kindergartens, were presented with a carving from Waikato Women’s Refuge – Te Whakaruruhau, to thank us all for the support we provide for families.

The Women’s Refuge particularly commended the relationships between families and the drivers who collect and transport the children.

They have noticed that our van drivers have pictures in their vans for the children to choose from, which helps to settle those who are not used to being away from their mothers.

The mothers are so appreciative because of the peace of mind they gain in knowing their children are being taken care of and are safe.

9. ABC Balclutha Central – Loving Reading Lilliput Library is here … it’s the first in the area, and dedicated solely to children’s books! The idea is a swap library: you take one book out and put one in. We were very lucky to host Alice Muir from Milton – she painted our wee

library with images that are important to the children about where we live, and who we are.

10. Community Kindy Pukekohe This week our children had a wonderful time at our annual Summer Splash party. Each summer we spend a day learning about water confidence and safety. In our Play Safe paddle pool we practiced how to enter the water safely and keep safe while we splashed about.

The children built their confidence with water balloons, a sprinkler and the slip and slide. At Community Kindy Pukekohe we believe it’s important for children to recognise danger in and around water, and keep safe all year round.

11. ABC Marchwiel On Wheels Our children recently enjoyed a Wheels Night, held at the local school grounds as part of Bikewise Month. Each child had a number on their bike, scooter or skates, and we had races with our friends and whānau. We held races with each other, and even the teachers raced us - on foot! The mum of one of our families is involved in Roller Derby and Chicks in Bowls

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Timaru, so she came along with a couple of friends and showed us some cool tricks on roller skates. Then we had some prizes and ice blocks to finish off. Everyone really enjoyed coming together and having fun as centre whānau.

12. ABC Raureka Supporting Plunket We had another successful year supporting Plunket’s ‘1000 days to Raise a Bundle’ campaign. This year we ran two spectacular raffles: an educational toy raffle and a food hamper raffle. Alongside this we held a blue evening sausage sizzle. It was fantastic to see all our children and whānau join us to support this wonderful campaign. Children dressed in blue to show their support, and participated in rock hunting. We shared a wonderful kai together and then drew our raffles. We would like to say a HUGE thank you to BestStart, Bidfood, The Wooden Toy Box and all our wonderful whānau for donating goods towards our raffles. In all, we raised a grand total of $1471 to help support our local Plunket.

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Baby care you can trust

We understand that as a parent you want the best care possible for your baby.

Here at BestStart we have been providing this for almost 20 years. ●

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Our nurseries are designed for babies and their needs, and our specialised teachers are trained to care for and nurture them.

We work in partnership with you so that together we can best support you and your child.

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We focus on your child. An individual approach will be developed once we know your baby. We’ll plan to extend and encourage your child to reach their full potential.

Learning is stimulated through music, movement, physical play, art, language, and much more. Special attention is given to developing your baby’s brain through their strong relationship with their caregiver.

BestStart offers a range of centres backed by leading ECE experts that will suit your family’s needs.

For more information visit www.best-start.org Call now: 0508 BESTSTART WHEN YOU VISIT A CENTRE, DISCUSS HOW THEY CAN ACCOMMODATE YOUR ROUTINES. TALK WITH STAFF ABOUT HOW TO STAY INFORMED AND TAKE PART IN PLANNING FOR YOUR CHILD, SO YOU WILL KNOW YOUR CHILD IS HAPPY AND PROGRESSING WELL