I-Female Magazine $6.50
February 2012 | www.i-female.net | I-Female Publishing
I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage!
Contact Us Publisher Stenell Greene-Myers Assistant Editor James Chandler Design Trudean Wright Le Petite Capella www.aurigacapella.com To contact I-Female Magazine P.O Box 935 Vineland, NJ 08362 Phone: 856-366-0333 215-613-5207 Fax: 215-613-5000 Email: magazine@I-female.net www.i-female.net www.facebook.com/ ifemalemagazine Twitter @IFemaleMagazine
Welcome to our February 2012 issue of I-Female Magazine. I-Female Magazine is about helping to inspire, motivate and encourage each and every woman. We exist to educate, empower and uplift women in areas such as entrepreneurial development, while bringing awareness to the female psyche dealing with depression, low selfesteem, loss and domestic violence. We are excited to begin this year with a new twist in motivating women of all race and cultures. In January we focused on changing things about ourselves for our personal growth and as we continue to pursue these goals, we must remember to keep our minds on the finish line, stay focus and not let life get in the way of our achievements. We have so much to look forward to in the month of February and I-Female Magazine is excited to share it all with you. “February” was named after the Latin term “februum” which means purification. February is also Black History Month and the month for love as we celebrate Valentine’s Day. This month as we celebrate ourselves as women who’ve overcome struggles and demands of life we will also reflect upon how WE have the freedom to overcome these struggles and demands. I-Female want to take this time and celebrate women such as Queen Isabella of Spain who prevented the Spanish conquerors from enslaving the Native Americans and Britain’s Queen Anne of Pennsylvania who overturned a Pennsylvania Law outturning slavery in 1711. As for all you poets, in 1746, the first known poem was written by African American Lucy Terry who wrote “Bar’s Fight” which was published between 1753 and 1754. Another great poet Phillis Wheatley born a slave in England wrote a book of poems which was published in 1773. In this issue you’ll find her poem and letter she wrote and personally sent to George Washington along with his response. And as you read each pages of IFemale Magazine we hope you find great inspiration from each woman we talk about that have made a difference within our African American Communities. Valentine’s Day is upon us; this day is for all you lovebirds. This day is put on display as couples exchange gifts and kisses to signify their love for each other. Women you do not need a specific day to celebrate yourselves, but on this particular day, take time out for YOU. This month I-Female Magazine has a poetry contest “A Sonnet of Love”. We thank you in advance for all who have sent us their poems and congratulation to the talented poet whose poem will be selected for our March 2012 Issue. To learn more about our poetry contest and prize give away visit www.i-female.net. Each month our issue focuses on entrepreneurs in our communities. Our front cover has Philadelphia very own founder of Murals of the Mind (MOM) Kenyetta Overton. Murals of the Mind is a creative writing project that introduces young scholars to real-life and artistic value of creating writing. Because spirituality is my life, each month we are blessed to have Gospel Secrets from Tony Myers. He brings the gospel that is clear, precise according to the Bible which can reach any audience. This issue is very special to me because it’s the beginning of a great future for IFemale. We focus on local and out of state entrepreneurs that are really making a difference such as Kad-A-Lac Restaurant and Lounge, a new restaurant located in Portsmouth Virginia.
I had the pleasure to visit this restaurant and there “Crab Balls” are the BEST EVER! I thought I was in the middle of the ocean. Kad-A-Lac Restaurant and Lounge features local bands as well as provide an awesome line dancing class for FREE. Thank you Kad-A-Lac Restaurant and Lounge for being a sponsor of I-Female Magazine January 2012 Issue and a special thank you to Perry Davis and Kim Gibbs, owners of Kad-A-Lac Restaurant and Lounge. I love seeing local business owners branch out elevating as individuals making their own decisions and stepping out on faith. As you read each page may you find yourself intertwined and engage as this magazine was created for you. Thank you to our creative designer Trudean Wright at Le Petite Capella for her artistic imagination as she breathes life to her vision and our lovely assistant editor James Chandler. As we continue to strive to reach our audience I would also like to thank you the readers and those who have sent in their letters to helped support and inspire other women through I-Female Magazine. Your letters and support continues to make I-Female a reality to the world. God bless you all and remember you are I-Female.
Stenell Greene-Myers, Publisher www.i-female.net “A Good book to read .I enjoyed it” Jacqueline D. Springfield DE “Who’s Gonna Pay The Mortgage? A Woman’s Guide to Relationship Recovery” Pg 19-20
“Looking forward to your “I Am a Survivor” Fundraiser Gala. I think this is a wonderful opportunity for many women.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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| Dear Stenell
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| Can I Share My Story With You?
8 | 14 Black Female Leaders You Should Know About 13
| Murals of the Mind Project
16 | Inspirational Story “Our first and Last Love Is… Self Love” 21 | Gospel Secrets
7 and 15 George Washington and Phillis Wheatley
Marisa Lopez. 32
I-Female Magazine / February 2012
www.i-female.net
Sex & Love > Relationship
Stenell Greene-Myers, author of “Who’s Gonna Pay The Mortgage? A Woman’s Guide To Relationship Recovery”, therapist, professor and motivational speaker
Dear Stenell Dear Stenell, My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years and I love him but when it comes to sex no matter how sexy I get it's like he's not interested and when we do have sex it's once ever blue moon. How do I approach this subject with him without hurting his ego? Kerry 25, Dear Kerry, You did not state how long you have been with your boyfriend. You should ask yourself is your boyfriend hurting YOUR ego. If you ask him respectfully, you’re not hurting his ego, you’re asking a question. Think about how you feel every time he rejects you. You did not state how long he has been acting this way. Honestly the Bible states fornication is a sin, not to scare you, but place high expectations on yourself. Do you think he has interest in someone else? Watch his behavior. Has he worked overtime, could there be another reason he is not interested? I suggest you read my book “Who’s Gonna Pay The Mortgage (A women’s guide to relationship recover)”. You will read and relate to the stories in the book. My concern is how you deeply feel about yourself. Although you did not say, this must hurt. I been here before and know rejection does not feel good. Rejection can cause you to question yourself and become insecure about who you are. Get to the heart of this, and tell your boyfriend how you feel.
"Dear Stenell, Sometimes I feel like lost being a big sister, school, work and taking care of my family. I recently got accepted to a school out of the state and I want to attend but I feel like I owe it to my family to stay in state and take care of them. I don't want to feel like I’m being selfish but I don’t want to hate them for not letting me got to pur-
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will be twenty –seven. What will you say to yourself if you do not take this opportunity? Why do you owe anything to your family other than going to school and educating yourself? How can you possible help them here? Are you working, if so is that going to provide you with an education that’s irreplaceable. One thing no one can ever take away from me is my education. Always look ahead and not behind. When you look behind you lose focus and bump into things. When you look ahead, you can see where you want to go, which road to take, and how sue my dreams. Every time I try to you’re going to get there. In other talk about it I just find myself feelwords, you are important. You ing guilty and crying. Please I would stated you felt like you owe it to love your advice" Tamika G. 17 your family to take care of them? Did they tell you to not go to colDear Tamika, lege? Do not cry lift up your head and be happy. YOU GOT ACI got accepted to Norfolk State Uni- CEPTED TO COLLEGE and I am versity. Both of my best friends happy for you!!!! Anyone that is were attending that college and I against you going away to school got pregnant. It was my fault, no does not have you as their top one to blame but me. You on the priority and if that is so then YOU other hand are seventeen years are your top priority. Do not feel old. You are about to enter the guilty, start planning for your fubest prime time of your life. Going ture, and start packing your bags. away to school, meeting new people, and pursuing an education, you can’t beat that. Being a big sister is taking responsibility for you. Be the best role model and have something to share with your siblings, a secure life style. One day you will not be seventeen, you JA NUA RY
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"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest; So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, Examples of a Shakespearean Sonnet So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." -Shakespeare's Sonnet 18
Let me not to the marriage of true minds (a) Admit impediments, love is not love (b)*
I-Female Magazine Valentine's Poetry Contest
Which alters when it alteration finds, (a)
Deadline: Feb 5, 2012
Or bends with the remover to remove. (b)*
Info: Write a sonnet about your love for something/someone for our O no, it is an ever fixèd mark (c)** Valentine's day poetry contest. Winner will be featured in our March 2012 issue with there poem and picture and also receive a That looks on tempests and is never shaken; (d)*** free copy of March 2012 issue and a free ticket to our "I Am A Survivor" Fundraiser Event April 28, 2012.
It is the star to every wand'ring bark, (c)**
Rules: Plagiarism will NOT be tolerated. Your poem must be original. Must be in the form of a sonnet. Your sonnet must be in the form of The rhyme scheme in a Shakespearean sonnet which is a-ba-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g; Submission: Your poem must include your name and contact information. All submission must be submitted to I-Female Magazine at magazine@i-female.net no later than Feb. 5. 2012 GOOD LUCK What is a Sonnet? "A sonnet is one of several forms of poetry that originate in Europe, mainly Provence and Italy. A sonnet commonly has 14 lines. The term "sonnet" derives from the Occitan word sonnet and the Italian word sonetto, both meaning "little song" or "little sound".
Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken. (d)*** Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks (e) Within his bending sickle's compass come, (f)* Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, (e) But bears it out even to the edge of doom: (f)* If this be error and upon me proved, (g)* I never writ, nor no man ever loved. (g)*
I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage! QUOTES OF THE MONTH “Sometim es you’ve g ot to let everything go—purge yourself . . . If y ou are unh a ppy with anything . . . whateve r is bringing you do wn, get rid of it. Because you’l l find that w hen you’re free , your true creativity, your true s elf comes out.” Tin T ur
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February 2 ‚Ever tried? Ever failed? No Matter, try again, fail again, Fail better.‛ Samuel Beckett
February 10 ‚The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.‛ Leo Buscaglia
February 3 ‚All great achievements require time. Maya Angelou
February 11 ‚There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness.‛ Han Suyin
February 4 ‚A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.‛ -James Allen
February 12 ‚Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.‛ Nido Qubein
February 5 ‚All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.‛ -Henry Ellis
February 13 ‚Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.‛ Hannah Arendt
February 6 ‚Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.‛ -Thomas Jefferson
February 14 ‚What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.‛ Ralph Marston
February 1 ‚I decided not to let my past rule my future so I decided to change my present in order to open up my future.‛ Dr. Ana M Guzman
February 15 ‚When you fail you learn from the mistakes you made and it motivates you to work even harder.‛ Natalie Gulbis
February 7 ‚Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the February 16 ‚You can never quit. Winners never quit, and quitpresent.‛ Jim Rohn ters never win.‛ Ted Turner February 8 ‚Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!‛ Audrey Hepburn February 9 ‚Show me your hands. Do they have scars from giving? Show me your feet. Are they wounded in service? Show me your heart. Have you left a place for divine love? ‚ Fulton J. Sheen
February 17 ‚I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.‛ Ken Venturi February 18 ‚If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud.‛ Emile Zola February 19 ‚In motivating people, you've got to engage their
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I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage! minds and their hearts. I motivate people, I hope, by example - and perhaps by excitement, by having productive ideas to make others feel involved.‛ Rupert Murdoch
February 21 ‚Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.‛ Miguel Angel Ruiz February 22 ‚Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.‛ Harvey Fierstein February 23 ‚When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.‛ Erma Bombeck February 24 ‚All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.‛ Walt Disney February 25 ‚A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.‛ Nelson Mandela February 26 ‚ ‚When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.‛ Audre Lorde February 27 ‚Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.‛ Wilma Rudolph
HAVE A QUOTE? SEND IT TO US AT MAGAZINE@I-FEMALE.NET WITH YOUR NAME. YOUR QUOTE MAY BE FEATURED IN OUR NEXT ISSUE OF I-FEMALE MAGAZINE
February 20 ‚An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.‛ Buddha
February 28 ‚Just don’t give up what you’re trying to do. Where there is Love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.‛ Ella Fitzgerald February 29 ‚Don’t settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that’s in us.‛ Angela Bassett
I never saw myself being where I am today, let alone being alive. Being born into an alcoholic family, molested by friends of the family from the age of 6 and going from foster home to foster home was not the ideal life. I was told by family members, so called friends as well as teachers that all I would ever be good for was to lie on my back and have babies. I’ve tried numerous of times to commit suicide but V ISIT
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CAN I SHARE MY STORY WITH YOU?
I know I am special and I am meant to help others.
Allah had another plan for my life. I am now a MSW (Masters in Social Working) working on my Doctorate. I counsel young ladies and women and work at Rutgers University. I’ve successfully raised two responsible young men and young ladies, all without the help of their father of families. Even though I couldn’t see it, Allah had and has a wonderful plan for my life. I can now look at myself in the mirror. JA NUA RY
Geraldine A. NJ
Have ever survived a situation you never thought was possible? Fall short to low self-esteem? Have an inspirational story you would like to share? Write about it. It can be anonymous for readers. Your story may be featured in I-Female Magazine Submit your story edited to magazine@i-female.net
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I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage! George Washington and Phillis Wheatley Published Tuesday, April 6, 2010 A.D. | By Donald R. McClarey
Phillis Wheatley poetry lives on. She is justly celebrated as one of the first of the black American poets. In her day her work was pointed to as evidence that blacks were not intellectually inferior to whites. She had a hard life, but she helped point the way to a brighter tomorrow, not only for the members of her race in this country, but for all Americans who cherish the phrase ‚all men are created equal.‛
Born circa 1753 in West Africa, Phillis Wheatley was kidnapped by slavers in 1761 and taken to America on the slave ship Phillis, from which she gained her first name. She was purchased in Boston by a wealthy merchant, John Wheatley. He and his wife treated her more like a daughter than a slave. Educated by them, she was reading the Greek and Latin classics by the age of 12. Beginning to write poetry, in 1775 she wrote a poem celebrating George Washington. Celestial choir! enthron’d in realms of light, Columbia’s scenes of glorious toils I write. While freedom’s cause her anxious breast alarms, She flashes dreadful in refulgent arms. See mother earth her offspring’s fate bemoan, And nations gaze at scenes before unknown! See the bright beams of heaven’s revolving light Involved in sorrows and veil of night! The goddess comes, she moves divinely fair, Olive and laurel bind her golden hair: Wherever shines this native of the skies, Unnumber’d charms and recent graces rise. Muse! bow propitious while my pen relates How pour her armies through a thousand gates, As when Eolus heaven’s fair face deforms, Enwrapp’d in tempest and a night of storms; Astonish’d ocean feels the wild uproar, The refluent surges beat the sounding shore; Or thick as leaves in Autumn’s golden reign, Such, and so many, moves the warrior’s train. In bright array they seek the work of war, Where high unfurl’d the ensign waves in air.
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I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage!
Black History Month 14 Black Female Leaders You Should Know About
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Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf country, Liberia, was named in recognition of its intriguing connection to African slavery and, as its President, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf has made leaps and bounds in improving the role of women in aspects of Liberian society. She was elected in 2006 but had no family connection in politics to allow for an easy rise to power. Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is the first black women to win a presidential election in Africa.
Six years have past since the death of the Civil Rights pioneer, Coretta Scott King, but her legacy lives on. After the death of her husband, the great Martin Luther King Jr., King became a prominent figure in the Civil Rights and Womens’ Rights Movement, advising the nation’s leadership and perusing the cause of her late husband. In later years she actively opposed Apartheid in South Africa and became involved in the LGBT movement by urging Civil Rights activists to reject homophobia and the dehumanization of all minorities
Elizabeth Coleman, known also as ‘Bessie’, was the world’s first black female pilot. Born in 1892, Coleman rose to fame in national air shows in Europe and America. After a tragic series of mechanical errors, she crashed her plane while performing in Jacksonville, dying immediately a the age of 34. Her legacy has continued however – she appeared in 1995 on US postal stamps and has received a series of honors across the country for her pioneering work, energy and passion for aviation.
As the ‘Mother of Freedom’ and a figurehead of the Civil Rights Movement, Rosa Parks is almost unmatched in recognition and respect. One seemingly simple act of bravery in 1955 on a Montgomery bus eventually led Parks to the forefront of national attention, giving way to a number of improvements in the lives of ordinary African Americans. She died in 2005 at the extraordinary age of 92.
Orphaned at the age of 7, Madam C.J. Walker overcame all adversity to become America’s first black self-made millionaire, after developing a range of hair care products that took her across the country and abroad.
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Shirley Chisholm was the first black woman to be elected to Congress, winning in New York in 1968 and retiring from office in 1983. She campaigned for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1972, but is best known for her work on several Congressional committees throughout her career. A feisty politician, Chisholm has also been recognized in popular culture and in the political and academic worlds for her symbolic importance and career achievements .
Dorothy Height was an American administrator, educator, and social activist. She was the president of the National Council of Negro Women for forty years, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1994, and the Congressional Gold Medal in 2004. On April 20, 2010, Height died at the age of ninety-eight.
Cathy Hughes is a pioneer of business, media and entrepreneurship in America and the black community. In 1979, Hughes launched RadioOne, which since then has become the largest radio broadcast network in the United States with 69 stations in 22 cities. In 2004, she was also behind the launch of TVOne, a dynamic, fast-faced addition to the extensive media company she had started over 20 years earlier. She was once named Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year and has continued to be involved in presenting and producing broadcast programs for her company throughout her 3 decades in the industry.
In 1904, Mary McLeod Bethune did something that was almost unheard of in American society at that time. She began a school for young African American girls in Daytona, Florida. That school would eventually flourish and merge with a boys’ school to become Bethune-Cookman University. Meanwhile Mary McLeod Bethune is also remembered for her innovative work in Civil Rights, including acting as a presidential adviser to a number of our country’s leaders. V ISIT
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Anna Tibaijuka is the highest ranked African female in the United Nations, heading the UN-HABITAT program. She is a Swedish-educated, Tanzanianborn leader who has fought for the rights of women without homes or living in slums. Since taking her role as Executive of UN-HABITAT she has greatly increased its budget and function in the United Nations.
Maya Angelou is a celebrated poet, author, activist and educator. Her work in literature has won her critical acclaim both here and abroad. Meanwhile, Angelou has remained at the forefront of politics and racial empowerment, appearing at inaugurations, rallies and sharing with the world, tales of discrimination and struggle
As one of American history’s most prominent figures, Harriet Tubman was responsible for rescuing around 300 former slaves from the South and escorting them to freedom via the underground railroads that led to Maryland. At one point a $40,000 reward was being offered for her arrest. Tubman was also a spy during her life. She died in New York in 1913.
Gwendolyn Brooks was the first African American to win the Pulitzer prize for poetry following the release of her second book. She went on to publish over twenty texts and became well known in her home state, Illinois, and across the country for her outstanding contribution to American literature.
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Karen Bass is currently seeking election to Congress, following a long career in California state politics and as the first black woman to hold the role of Speaker in any state Assembly. In California, Bass has focused on improving education facilities, health care and the foster care system. She also been the chair of the Legislative Black Caucus, which seeks to better understand California’s black population and their needs.
“won't you celebrate with me “ won’t you celebrate with me what i have shaped into a kind of life? i had no model. born in babylon both nonwhite and woman what did i see to be except myself? i made it up here on this bridge between starshine and clay, my one hand holding tight my other hand; come celebrate with me that everyday something has tried to kill me and has failed. By: Lucille Clifton
History has provided us with some extremely successful stories of courage, strength and leadership. Yet sometimes we forget about just how extensive and diverse these stories are. We’re profiling some of the many women who should be recognized for their achievements and strength. From sport to literature, politics to art, black women have been there and continue to ‘do that.’
Sited from hellobeautiful.com Photo: Google Pics
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The Mural of the Mind Project (aka MOM) is a creative writing project that introduces young scholars to the reallife and artistic value of creative writing. Design as an enrichment tool to encourage scholars to actively engage in the process of writing, reading, reciting and performing original written works, MOM serves youth and young adults ages 6-21 with a particular focus on tweens and teens ages 10-14. MOM is intended to be a positive, non-violent outlet to help youth learn to freely express feelings, thoughts and ideas, and resolve conflicts without violence while improving literacy, other academic and social skills. Spurred on by the increase in bullying and violent acts being perpetrated on young people by young people in private and public schools in Philadelphia and around the country, Mural of the Mind Project was founded by Kenyetta Overton in 2004 was formerly known as Young Poets Uprising. However, MOM has since morphed to include several other forms of creative writing, including observation, journaling and short story writing. In 2007, Ms. Overton expanded MOM to include high school youth and young adults 18 years and above.
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To encourage and illuminate each scholar’s natural and creative talents The Project incorporates group discussions, various writing exercises and games along with opportunities for scholars to perform live on stage and on broadcast radio and on television. As a part of The Murals of the Mind Project an anthology of original works written by scholars is produced and published. Through creative writing activities that are inventive, fun, challenging, innovative and thought provoking, MOM helps young people discover themselves. MOM focuses on revealing he artistic power and real life value of writing and the use of words by infusing imagination with critical thinking: observation with teamwork: art and culture with camaraderie. Mural of the Mind is a vehicle that helps young people find their voices, tell their stories. MOM strives to encourage youth and young adults to embrace, celebrate and accept their uniqueness- quirks and all.
Reading Comprehension/Composition Writing Language Usage/Diction Vocabulary Critical Thinking/Listening The Mural of the Mind Project is design as an enrichment tool to be used to complement and enhance scholastic aptitude.
The Mural of the Mind Project...If MOM won’t who will?
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I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage! Philadelphia native Kenyetta Overton (under the moniker KoKo Hans) has written and performed poetry as a spoken word artist since 2001. As KoKo Hans she was a featured poet at the Moonstone Reading series at Robin’s Bookstore in 2003. She was featured at the Black Women’s Arts Festival in 2004 and 2005 where she served as a cocoordinator of the 2005 event. Produced and host of her own open mic show, Word South of the Border Live @ Las Cazuelas, which featured poets and musicians from around the tristate area. She has self-published two chapbooks, Open Mic- The Poetic Ranting of a Mad Woman (2004) and Tons of Poetry (2004), an anthology of poems featuring original works written by MOM participating scholars from St. Peter’s School. Her anthology chapbook, Vocal Uprising featured work created by Lindy Scholars Summer Program was completed in 2010. In 2011 Kenyatta Overton, Lindy Scholars, their parents and counselors, who participate in MOM workshops, were contributing artist of the Artistic Advocacy Day in Washington, DC, which has since morphed into a full-fledged advocacy movement that plan to produce artist rebuttal books regularly A mentor to girls and young women from various communities and cultures, supporting them in their academic, social, creative and career pursuits, Kenyetta is also a member of the National Association of Profession Women and the National Council of Negro Women. She regularly contribute to Feed the Children, UNFC and Kiva, an organization that offers global financial support through micro-lending to people creating, building and expanding businesses. Kenyetta Overton is an accomplished visual artist, creating sculptures and relief art on canvas and wood. Her work was featured alongside the work of world renowned artists Dane Tilghman and Cal Massey.
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For more information contact Kenyetta Overton c/o The MOM Project P.O. Box 63678 Philadelphia, PA 19147 www.muralsofthemind.com contactmom@muralsofthemind.com (610) 864-6261
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I-Female Magazine. Inspire, Motivate and Encourage! Shall I to Washington their praise recite? Enough thou knw’st them in the fields of fight. Thee, first in peace and honours,—we demand The grace and glory of thy martial band. Fam’d for thy valour, for thy virtues more, Hear every tongue thy guardian aid implore! One century scarce perform’d its destined round, When Gallic powers Columbia’s fury found; And so may you, whoever dares disgrace The land of freedom’s heaven-defended race! Fix’d are the eyes of nations on the scales, For in their hopes Columbia’s arm prevails. Anon Britannia droops the pensive head, While round increase the rising hills of dead. Ah! cruel blindness to Columbia’s state! Lament thy thirst of boundless power too late. Proceed, great chief, with virtue on thy side, Thy ev’ry action let the goddess guide. A crown, a mansion, and a throne that shine, With gold unfading, WASHINGTON! be thine. She sent a copy of the poem to Washington with the following letter:
To His Excellency George Washington Sir, I have taken the freedom to address your Excellency in the enclosed poem, and entreat your acceptance, though I am not insensible of its inaccuracies. Your being appointed by the Grand Continental Congress to be Generalissimo of the armies of North America, together with the fame of your virtues, excite sensations not easy to suppress. Your generosity, therefore, I presume, will pardon the attempt. Wishing your Excellency all possible success in the great cause you are so generously engaged in. I am, Your Excellency’s most obedient humble servant, Phillis Wheatley 1776 Washington responded: Cambridge, February 28, 1776. Mrs. Phillis, Your favour of the 26th of October did not reach my hands ’till the middle of December. Time enough, you will say, to have given an answer ere this. Granted. But a variety of important occurrences, continually interposing to distract the mind and withdraw the attention, I hope will apologize for the delay, and plead my excuse for the seeming, but not real neglect. I thank you most sincerely for your polite notice of me, in the elegant Lines you enclosed; and however undeserving I may be of such encomium and panegyrick, the style and manner exhibit a striking proof of your great poetical Talents. In honour of which, and as a tribute justly due to you, I would have published the Poem, had I not been apprehensive, that, while I only meant to give the World this new instance of your genius, I might have incurred the imputation of Vanity. This and nothing else, determined me not to give it place in the public Prints. If you should ever come to Cambridge, or near Head Quarters, I shall be happy to see a person so favoured by the Muses, and to whom Nature has been so liberal and beneficent in her dispensations. I am, with great Respect, etc.
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Inspirational story > Our First and Last Love is ...Self-Love
This article is geared toward the young people who are searching for love. I’ve been there, I’ve done what you may be thinking of doing, and now I finally know at age 77, there’s no greater love than self-love and the love for God. At the age of 17 I was a senior in high school a virgin and naive. My mom died when I was 3 years old and my dad was young and did not want to be tied down with four girls the oldest age 15. The people that raised me were older and told me nothing about love or sex so I ended up getting pregnant and did not graduate. In that time being pregnant and dropping out of school was looked upon as a shameful act and I was ashamed of myself. I recall going to school taking gym as long as I could and told my gym teacher I had to drop out of school to help my family. That was not true because financially my dad gave me everything I wanted and needed. Even though he was not there physically, he still provided for me and had money saved up for me to attend college. How could I tell him I was pregnant? I decided to kill myself after the father of my child told me the baby wasn’t his. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do but I thank God I decided to turned off the gas that day and moved in with my sister who’s 10 years older than me. After I had the baby I moved to another State to get on my feet and got a job working at a Tomatoe Factory where I met my first husband. I thought this time my true love had came. After a year he asked me to marry him and two month after our wedding I was pregnant and I saw the changes. I found out he was an alcoholic and abuser. He was very controlling and he was very unhappy. I had four children and had to work as he stayed home, cooked and cleaned. The fights got worse to the point where we went court and the judge ordered him out of my house. Not long after we were divorced. I now had a peace of mind as I worked 2 jobs to purchase a house for my family. I thought that would make me happy.
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I had my house, my kids and a car but I still had that yearning for love. I went to visit my sister; we went to a night club where I met a man who looked completely different from my first husband. At the time although I wanted love, I was not interested in meeting anyone. I recall him asking me, “What can I do to make you happy?” I thought if I told him money he would be turned off but that did not work. My sister said he
We married and he moved into my house. He was hired as a cook and gradually the changes begin. He never hit me, but he was verbally abusive. He was a drunk, smoked and hung out with his friends. So I was still lonely and unhappy. He got real sick, gave his life to the lord and realized I was trying to help him. My first husband became friends with him because they both shared common interests. They both died two years apart. I wasted most of my life searching for love in the wrong places. I had material things, money, and men. But I realize I did not have love for myself. I did not have selfesteem. After all of this someone else came in my life for a short period of time. He was in church, a widower, did not smoke or drink. I was a really nice guy but something respected this man for years to find inside me said “he is not for you.” This out he was a womanizer. So I sugman did not have much money as he gest to you if you are looking for worked in a kitchen and was use to love STOP! Seek God! Find out your dating women who had less. purpose in life and pursue it. The One day I picked him up in my Bible says a man that finds a wife car when I turned into my driveway he find a good thing. He’s out there but asked “who do you know that live focus on your dreams, education, here?” I answered him this is my and self esteem. When the right one house, he was speechless. He instantly comes along you will know it and became in love. I told him about my you can grow old together. I am husband and how I did not want anvery happy, I am at peace and have other alcoholic man; his response was self- esteem. I enjoy ministering to “I don’t blame you”. To my surprise the sick, the prisoners and my famhe was also an alcoholic and drug adily. I found my purpose. dict. Anonymous
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I-Female Magazine In association with Le Petite Capella & Canvas Hair Salon
Present
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“I Am a Survivor” Fundraiser Event
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selves, who have endured some hardships in life. Everyday struggles can take a toll on anyone’s physical and emotional being. I-Female Magazine in association with Le Petite Capella & Canvas Hair Salon have set out to honor women who have overcome these struggles in the 1st Annual Pre-Mothers Day “I AM A SURVIVOR” Fundraising Event on Saturday, April 28, 2012 at Renaissance Room in Turnersville, NJ. I –Female Magazine, which debuted in August 2011, was created by Stenell Greene-Myers after the overwhelming response & need she received from her book ‚Who’s Gonna Pay the Mortgage?: A Woman’s Guide to Relationship Recovery”. Stenell decided there were women who needed a voice as well as an outlet for guidance during troubled times. I-Female Magazine is here to help inspire, motivate & encourage all women. We exist to educate empower & uplift women in areas such as entrepreneurial development & emotional support as well as bringing awareness to domestic violence, depression, low self esteem & personal loss. Community development & involvement is paramount to I -Female Magazine. Our 1st issue in August 2011 focused on getting low income families with school age children prepared for a successful school year with all the supplies they would need. We had a great turnout and were able to help plenty of families.
The magazine also has a section with inspirational stories that may encourage others who may be in the same position or situations, as well as an advice column, ‘Dear Stenell’ that covers an array of topics. Each issue has a cover story & article spotlighting woman entrepreneurs, their business & community involvement. Our focus is not only on women, but also community growth, building strong household foundations & supporting our youth with their stressors, like peer pressure, suicide & cyberbullying. We invite you to attend our fundraising event, “I AM A SURVIVOR” or if unable to attend, a donation is greatly appreciated. Every donation counts & aids I-Female in completing our mission to serve & uplift the community. The Event will feature 4 make-over recipients chosen by essay entries of women in transition, a fashion show, guest speakers & give-a-ways from our featured vendors like Tracy Lynn Jewelry, Fancy Girl Me Handbags, Mary Kay, Poetic Vibes, All Over Me Products and Kingdom Cross wear by Gene just to name a few. We hope to see you there!! I-Female Magazine would like to thank you in advance for your support & patronage
FULL COURSE DINING |GUEST SPEAKERS FASHION SHOW | WOMEN IN TRANSISTION TICKETS -$45 SINGLE-$80 COUPLES-$40 SENIORS (50+)-
We are giving 4 people a FREE make over. Send a email in 100 words or less why you want to give someone a free make-over.
TO PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE VISIT WWW.IAMASURVIVOR.EVENTBRITE.C OM
CONTACT: STENELL GREENE-MYERS (856-366-0333) GINA GRACE (856-520-3344) TRUDEAN WRIGHT (215-720-6265)
magazine@i-female.net We are taking the time to honor women who have overcome the many trials and tribulation of life. We all know someone or maybe even ourselves, who has endured some obstacles.
www.i-female.net magazine@i-female.com
CHAPTER
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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall (Self-Esteem) This chapter is the beginning guide in the many chapters to follow. You will find yourself reading stories of characters you can identify with, allowing your mind to flow in the many chapters of true life and reality that women experience in relationships. Each character displays a different form of self-esteem – is this you? And if so, what will you do to better your inner self? Esteem is a privilege; honor it, be honest with yourself. Do you have shortcomings? Of course you do, and everyone does. What are you going to do to make the necessary changes to better your situation? So many people fail to listen to themselves and listen to others. By doing this you’re not valuing your own feelings and opinions, which can lead to negative feelings. Listen to your head and trust yourself. ―Mirror, mirror on the wall, who in the land is the loveliest lady in the land?‖ And the mirror replied, ―Snow White is the loveliest in the land‖. Remember the fairytale Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? She was the most beautiful queen in the land. Life is not as simple as asking a mirror how beautiful you are and getting a response. Beauty is something that is acquired by only one person, YOU. No one can inject inner or outer beauty inside your veins. Your body is created in the form for a purpose; there were no mistakes made when you were born. No one on this earth can offer you anything that
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you cannot offer yourself. Yes, it feels wonderful to feel wanted or needed by the man you have interest in; however, you must evaluate your level of need. Not having a complete full image of exactly who you are can create insecurity in itself. There are so many reasons women have insecurities; it can stem from childhood all the way to a relationship. Many times men place insecurities in women by their actions. However, if you are not strong, you will allow the games of a man to internalize your thoughts and ruin your self-dignity. Regardless of what the reasons are, the bottom line is there has to be enough strength inside of you to turn that insecurity into security. Feeling secure about who you are, and what you are meant to accomplish, is a task in itself and can only be accomplished by you. As I write this chapter, I can only think about the many young girls and women continually trying to find who they are through a man. In other words, going from man to man, without a mental ―who am I?‖ break. The break that is needed to clear your head, debrief, and understand you; the break that allows you to dissect your inner self and explore the many channels inside your soul. Piece by piece, inch by inch, examining each and every molecule that retains your physical and mental being. Relationships take a lot of time and energy. Once you have all your time and energy to yourself, what are you going to do with it? Take some time to be alone before jumping right back in the fire. Evaluate yourself, fix your shortcomings and bad habits, and work on your values, goals, and more importantly, your selfworth. Don’t exchange the man you loved for a rebound. Ladies, the rebound man is an exchange of your broken heart. The rebound man is a cowardly act: JA NUA RY
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it seals the wound but does not heal it. You know the feeling – the man choosing you as the catch for the moment to make him feel 40% better, but deep down inside he is missing his 60% woman he really loves that broke his heart. So here you are, Ms. 40%, giving him time and sex like you are his 100% stockholder. Deep down inside you don’t hold or have anything, and when he mends his relationship back with the woman he loves, or finds another stockholder, he leaves, so you’re left upset and mad at the man. In reality, you gave him more than he was qualified for (see Chapter 6 Will the ―real‖ Webster please stand up? – defining dating and marriage). (SIDE BAR: DON’T EVER THINK YOUR SEX IS THE BEST. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE’S SEX BETTER THAN YOURS. SEX DOES NOT GIVEYOU THE KEY TO A MAN’S HEART; YOUR HIGH ESTEEM AND SELFCONFIDENCE IS TASTEFUL TO A MAN.) Ladies Having a rebound of your own will not make you happy. Your heart will not mend and you will not learn the true value of healing on your own when you replace another man for the one you loved. The true test of getting the pieces together once love is no longer is doing it alone. It can be very painful, especially when you are used to being held, having a strong male companion you can share yourself with.
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There may come a time when being alone is not an option, and you have no other choice but to work through your situation alone. You do not need a man to feel validated and needed; you want to be in a position where you want a man. Holding the position of wanting a man than needing a man will keep you grounded, and you will have a higher level of inner strength – the type of inner strength where you can simply say ―NO,‖ and not feel weak or bad about. NO, I do not want to have sex with you. NO, I do not want a relationship with you. NO, you cannot come over to my house. NO, you cannot have any money. Feel good about your decisions and hold onto them; the minute you change your mind, you lose your power. Being powerless in a relationship is not healthy for you. Gain your power and maintain it, keep your word and mean it. Self-esteem plays a huge part in how women allow themselves to be treated. This twoletter word is so powerful and holds a lot of weight. This word is used in three parts of your senses: touch, hearing, and seeing. Selfesteem affects your feelings; you cannot physically touch it, but you react to how you feel. You cannot hear it, but it’s around every time you talk about yourself, and each time you look in the mirror you can see it; self esteem is YOU. You hear the word ―self-esteem‖ many times when it comes to the way you carry yourself and allow others to treat you. Defining what you will and will not allow derives on how you feel about yourself. In other words, do you really like who you are? Liking who you are both inside and out, not having anyone to validate how you feel about yourself, loving yourself all the time, when things are good and bad, is V ISIT
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healthy self-esteem. As I sit back and reflect on the many situations we face as females, I can only imagine how many women can easily fall victim to low self-esteem for many reasons surrounded by what is called life. Life as you know cannot be explained; you make a choice and live life according to the way you choose. As an adult, your decisions are completely made by you. You are the author of your own mind and decisions. Accepting who you are is the only thing you owe yourself. Falling victim to others’ values and choices can lead you down the road of destruction. Think of yourself; if you allow others to think for you, your own personal goals towards yourself will not be met. ―Every woman needs a man. I hear this all the time – do you agree? As I state in Chapter 15, know your part, DON’T SCREAM I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN. Let the man worry about you for a change. Strong men are needed by a strong woman. Do we need a man? Yes, for many reasons, but before you go tap dancing around a man just to be with one, remember your self-values. Are you just with him because you cannot be alone? Some women do not like to be alone; they prey from man to man to get their itch scratched. In the process of getting scratched, women lose sight to what they really want. commitment and to be loved. By losing sight, you fall victim to being a flunky, the other woman, getting involved with the man that has a girlfriend or a wife. This man may make you feel good in many ways mentally and sexually, but that's all it is, this man. A man that has a woman or wife is not your man. He will not give you what you are worth; all the money and sex in the world will not compare to what he gives his girlfriend or wife. Don't fall for the ―she does not. You know, she does not give me sex anymore. She does not cook for me. She does not listen to how I feel. JA NUA RY
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She does not work, I take care of her. She does not have interest in my career. She does not look the same as when we met. LISTEN, you are hearing one side, his side, which does not hold weight. The more you 8cheat with another woman's man hinders your own good man GOD has placed for you. KARMA is always lurking for its new victim. Ladies, it's not your problem his woman does not give him good sex, doesn't cook, does not listen to his feelings, doesn't work, does not have interest in his career, and does not have the same hourglass body as when they first met. STOP, get a grip, close your legs, lift up your head, and honor yourself. A man will tell you what he thinks you want to hear. Be honest with yourself and don't settle - you're worth so much more. Remember, I FEMALE. Below is a recipe. Remember it, make it, and enjoy - it tastes wonder-
Recipe for Self-Esteem 1 Large bowl of self-esteem 2 tablespoons of self-confidence ¼ cup standards 2 cloves self-respect, minced 2 large self-nurturance, whole 4 cups of self-love DIRECTIONS Preheat your mind’s broiler, brush self-esteem with self-confidence, and bake inside your soul. Cook inside your heart for as long as needed or until completely selfabsorbed. In a cup or small bowl, stir together self-respect and standards, let it sit until completely firm, add self-nurturance and selflove. Let it bake forever. If it gets cold, repeat all steps.
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Body & Spirit > Gospel Secrets
BY TONY MYERS
BY TONY MYERS
“And be not conformed to
this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2 KJV) Mind renewal is what it takes to see yourself as God sees you. Mind renewal is also what it takes to become a new creation in Christ Jesus. The same faith we have to believe in Jesus and his marvelous works is the same faith we need to become a new creation. All our lives we’ve believed that Jesus saves, but finds it hard to believe he’s able to do anything else.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEPHEN HERON
The bible teaches us that through Christ Jesus we have the power to accomplish all He didn’t save you to leave you powerless.
things. So how can we believe that Jesus isn’t able to do anything else but save us?
"But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you” (Acts 1:8 KJV) We must renew our minds to the fact that we have power; the same power that Jesus had on this earth. Jesus has empowered us with the Holy Spirit of God, the very same spirit that created the heavens. "And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.” (Genesis 1:2 KJV) Just as a parent wants the child to be just like them in every positive way, we must renew our mind to the fact that we were made in His image and His likeness and just like a parent he wants us to be renewed and be more like Him. Do you need a mind renewal?
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Body & Spirit > Poetry
VIRTUOUS WOMAN A virtuous woman is hard to find God chose her to be one Of a kind A virtuous woman is clothed with Strength and dignity Born with a purpose and known For her integrity A virtuous woman makes a House into a home Her prayers are honored As they reach Gods throne A virtuous woman is worth more Than rubies and gold A precious creation A beauty to behold BY MIKE SANTIAGO
I Would Gladly Risk It All Opportunity of a lifetime came knocking at my door, "come with me" It says "I'm what you've been waiting for" Opportunity of a lifetime came standing at my door "Don't make a foolish mistake, love isn't worth it all" A dream come true, My big break, Should I go or should I stay? I'm stuck between choosing love and this great opportunity But love wont choose me back so maybe I should go... I-Female Magazine welcomes People say I'm nuts to think it will work, That love is crazy and I should go poetry from its readers. To conBut how would they know? They've never taken a chance on love. tact Editorial: Send us a fax (215Now I have to choose between this great opportunity and the love I have for you. 613-5000), email (magazine@iThe door is slowly closing and I'm reaching out my hand for you to hold, female.net) or mail (Poetry to IWill you come? Come with me? Female Magazine, P.O Box 935 Because it's not really an opportunity if you don't have anyone to share it with. They say think about what your doing, Is love really worth it all? Vineland, New Jersey 08362). But for you...love I would give it all up Poems should include the writer’s Without any hesitation I would gladly risk it all. full name, address and daytime For loving you is the greatest opportunity ever can knocking on my heart
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Cover Ad Sheet You too can be on the cover of I-Female Magazine
Email us for prices Cover Photo must be received by the 5th of the month prior to the month of publication. To request a change of photo cover must also be receive via email by the 10th. 1) Digital photos (JPG or TIFF) “right out of the camera” is preferred. 2) Professionally printed photos No website images or computer printed material are accepted Information for your featured article must also be submitted with your cover photo. Any additional photos must be with your submission. MICROSOFT WORD, PUBLISHER, or POWERPOINT files ARE NOT ACCEPTE Payment must be received by the 15th of the month prior to the month of publication PayPal or Check
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