Iceni Magazine Norfolk Issue 133

“Just because no one else can heal or do your inner work for you, doesn’t mean you can, should, or need to do it alone.”

Lisa Olivera

Welcome to Issue 133 of Iceni Magazine!

This month’s focus is on Mental Health. We all know that our mental and physical health are intrinsically linked, so why not read about how you can work on one to improve the other (Pages 34 & 35)? Page 28 brings our An A To Z List Of Simple Ways To Look After Your Mental Health. Ever wondered about hypnotherapy? Many people automatically think of the TV programmes where people are made to pretend to be washing machines or chickens, rather than the professionals who support mental health. Check out Susan Leigh’s informative article (Pages 29 to 31).

Elsewhere in this issue, Ed Byrne is interviewed (Pages 16 to 19) ahead of his 1st June visit to Norwich. Wondering what to do in your garden now that May has arrived? Pages 14 and 15 can answer that question for you! And if you’re wanting inspiration for your outside space, consider visiting some of the open gardens (Pages 38 & 39).

So, until Issue 134, be sure to remember your suncream and sunglasses, enjoy the warmer weather and take care of yourselves. Happy May!

Ali, Charlie, Nova Silver, Susan Leigh, Tim Barnes-Clay, Trevor Langley, Vicki Jeffery.

Follow our social channels search: Iceni Magazine

Copyright © Iceni Magazine Limited. All rights reserved. No articles, adverts, content or design in this magazine may be used or reproduced either in whole or part, online or in print. The views and advice from contributors are not necessarily those of Iceni Magazine Limited. Every effort is made to ensure the contents are accurate, however Iceni Magazine Limited can not assume responsibility for errors, omissions or incorrect information. Iceni Magazine Limited accepts no liability for loss, damage or difficulties resulting from contracts between The Client and their customer. Inclusion within the magazine does not imply a recommendation. www.icenimagazine.co.uk

Is Making Friends Harder When You’re An Adult?

Children often automatically assume that other children will become their friends.

They run up to them in a playground or park and unthinkingly expect to join in. It’s only over time, perhaps after rejection from other children or warnings from parents or teachers, that they learn to moderate their expectations and become more cautious about approaching.

By the time we reach adulthood we will have had a numerous experiences of navigating our way through relationships and different friendship groups. Throughout our school days or time spent in our neighbourhood, college or at work we will have had both good and bad experiences of interacting with others and trying to make friends. In the midst of establishing those relationships there will have been some letdowns and disappointments, maybe bullying or even experiences of rejection from people we thought were good friends.

An added component may be that at times we were also going through our own confusions about ourselves and how we looked and sounded, uncertainty about our appearance, size, hair colour, sexuality, financial situation.

All these things potentially threw doubt on how we felt about ourselves and how we anticipated being perceived and treated by others.

Some of our perceptions and expectations will be our personal responsibility and down to the way we interpret situations. Other people may not mind or care unduly about issues that preoccupy us. They may like us for who we are, enjoy our company, appreciate our being different, but it may be our conditioning, past experiences and insecurities that blight our chances of finding friendship.

Voicing our thoughts, ideas and opinions and then nervously awaiting the reaction of others, hoping to be accepted and acceptable, may result in us tailoring what we say or do to suit each situation and social group out of a desire to fit in. It can mean that we potentially lose our identity and sense of who we are. Motivated to behave in such a way, to gain the approval and acceptance of others, may increase the number of people in our orbit, but does not necessarily deliver genuine friends or people who know and care about us.

Add into the mix those occasions when we need to start again, with a new school, job, home

move or breakup and we could find ourselves feeling somewhat cynical and jaded. It can be both exciting and wearing to have to assess the dynamics of a new situation, to weigh up the relationships and politics of whatever new groups we may be looking to join.

But, as we get older, we also have to consider the increased demands on our time, energy and finances. We may have partners, families, mortgages, social or career focussed obligations that take priority, making us less readily available.

Being sensitive to verbal and non-verbal cues is an important life lesson, but is one that needs to be tempered with life experiences and common sense. Second-guessing other people’s motivations as to why they behave the way they do can cause negative self-talk, hi-jack relaxed situations and with it the potential to make new friends. Accepting invitations, even when we’re feeling tired and stressed, wondering if people will like us, being suspicious of their motives, can make finding new friends more difficult as we get older.

It can be important to just relax and go with the flow, to enjoy the moment without any expectations. If we put up barriers and are stressed and wary of others they will unconsciously sense that apprehension and become more guarded around us.

Sometimes it’s good to go somewhere with no expectations, have a pleasant time and simply enjoy each other’s company! Instead, try to avoid second-

guessing or pre-judging opportunities to be sociable and make friends by simply accepting invitations that come your way. Something may not sound quite to your taste but could end up being unexpectedly fun, introduce you to interesting new people or, at worst, provide you with a reason to smarten up, leave the house and practice your social skills.

Why not become the ‘go to guy’ and find out what’s happening locally, then invite anyone who’s interested to join you? Early meal deals, concerts, exhibitions and games nights could be relatively low-cost social opportunities and introduce you to other people in your orbit.

Be approachable. Smile, nod and gradually start lightweight conversations with the people you see regularly, whether it be at the bus stop, school gates, in the supermarket or gym. There may be opportunities to occasionally escalate those casual acquaintances into going for a coffee, but, whatever the outcome, it’s a pleasant way to behave, as you, chat and relax with familiar strangers.

Be interested and interesting. Ask friendly questions and remember what you’ve been told, so you can follow up on future occasions. And, if you’ve lost the art of casual conversation make the effort to perhaps keep up-to-date with popular TV shows or news headlines so you can join in and contribute to conversations.

Making new friends requires some effort, so start by identifying what interests you, what you’d like to do with your social life and then inject those activities into your ongoing plans.

Article By Susan Leigh

Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Citroen ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 Review

Citroen has always been known for its innovative designs, and the ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 is no exception.

This electric multi-purpose vehicle (MPV) is a boost for local businesses that want to transport clients and associates in style while being environmentally responsible.

The Citroen is part of the French brand’s electric vehicle (EV) lineup. Its decent design and range make it a popular choice for small and medium-sized enterprises prioritising sustainable transportation.

With its 50kWh battery, the ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 can travel an average of 137 miles on a single charge (or up

to 201 miles around town), making it ideal for short to medium-distance trips.

The electric motor delivers 136 horsepower, providing a smooth driving experience. The Citroen can accelerate from 0 to 60 mph in 13.1 seconds, which is not fast but fine for a vehicle of its size. Furthermore, the ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge’s top speed is 81mph, which is more than sufficient for most local or regional business travel.

One of the vehicle's key advantages is its spacious interior. The MPV can accommodate up to nine people, making it ideal for businesses transporting groups of clients or associates. The seats are upholstered in high-quality materials, and each chair has an armrest and individual reading lights. The panoramic sunroof provides plenty of natural light, creating a bright and airy atmosphere.

The ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge’s interior is also packed with advanced features that make it a pleasure to drive and ride in. The seveninch touchscreen display is easy to navigate and provides access to a range of infotainment and connectivity options. Additionally, the Citroen’s sound system delivers crisp, clear audio, making it ideal for playing music or conducting conference calls on the go.

Crucially, the ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 is kitted out with a range of safety gadgets, including a driver attention alert system, cruise control and speed limiter, front and rear curtain airbags and a rear-view camera. These features help ensure the EV is a safe and secure choice.

In conclusion, this Citroen model is an impressive vehicle that combines comfort and eco-friendliness. Its spacious interior, advanced features, and range make it a good choice for local businesses that want to make a statement while minimising their carbon footprint.

Whether ferrying clients about or shuttling associates to a team-building event, the ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 is the perfect vehicle for all your business needs.

Fast Facts - Citroen ë-SpaceTourer Business Lounge M 50kWh 136 as tested:

• Max speed: 81 mph

• 0-62 mph: 13.1 secs

• Range: 137 combined / 201 city

• Engine layout: 50kWh electric motor

• Max. power (PS): 136

• CO2: 0 g/km

• Price: £48,695

By Tim Barnes-Clay. Follow

on Instagram: @tbarnesclay

DINING AT: KOTTARAM

The history of Nottingham is renowned throughout the world and the City attracts countless visitors through each and every year.

Be it Nottingham Castle, caves, Robin Hood or architecture, culture or customs that appeal, the City of Nottingham certainly has a lot to offer.

Sports and world-class entertainments draw numerous admirers, audiences and spectators. Shopping in Nottingham is extremely popular, with well-known high-street names, independent stores and businesses offering everything from our daily needs to bespoke and

designer options. Many eateries and restaurants provide that snack, quick bite, full meal and/or drinks, to suit all requirements.

I located Kottaram, Pan-Indian restaurant within easy distance of Nottingham Castle, the Old Market Square, Theatre Royal and Royal Concert Centre. This restaurant has proved its popularity since opening during 2022, with the chefs being chosen for their knowledge and expertise.

Poppadoms and Pickle Tray commenced proceedings for my visit. This was excellent to arouse taste buds. To continue I chose Tandoori Trio Chicken. Very good flavours and presentation made this an ideal starter (for me).

Main course dishes offer a most impressive array, listing North and South Indian specialities of chicken, lamb, prawns, plus ‘Fisherman’s

Net’ and more, including excellent vegetarian and vegan options. I favoured Beef Kizhi (cooked with aromatic, authentic Kerala spices and wrapped in banana leaves, served with Kerala porotta). The complementing flavours of ingredients, plus the succulence and tenderness - all absolutely ‘spot on’. ‘Compliments to Chef’, for sure! Head Chef, Visakh Suraj and the brigade really do ensure that all diners are very impressed.

For dessert I selected Kottaram Royal Falooda (creamy, rich and delectable). This made a perfect ending to the meal. Quality wines and drinks, gift vouchers (perhaps a surprise for someone?), collections, deliveries and outside catering are all available too. Parties and celebrations, with private dining offering a

separate entrance/exit and own bar facilities, are also available at Kottaram.

Events and special offers, for dining, are further plus points. Thank you to Jumy and Joseph for their positive welcome and exemplary service throughout.

Highly recommended.

Kottaram Pan-Indian Restaurant,

28 Maid Marian Way, Nottingham, NG1 6GF.

Tel: Tel: 0115 958 0115.

E-mail: admin@kottaramrestaurant.com Web: www.kottaramrestaurant.com

As always, Enjoy! Review By Trevor Langley

Lumi Eyes

I tried Lumi Eyes for Dark Under-Eye Circles - Here are my thoughts

I’ve had dark under-eye circles since my late teens.

I’m now 41 so, as you can imagine, I’ve tried a lot of different products to try and make them disappear.

Applying concealer to my under-eye area has been part of my daily routine for many years. With summer on the horizon, I love the idea of going bare faced but of course that means no under-eye concealer.

So, after trying untold amounts of products, I came to the realisation that I finally had to go big - which for me meant going to see a professional.

I’ve always been open to laser treatment, prescription creams, or fillers but I wanted to try something less invasive.

After reading many articles online regarding Lumi Eyes, I decided that this would be the best treatment for me to begin my under-eye rejuvenation journey.

Benefits of Lumi Eyes

Lumi Eyes is a tissue stimulator that repairs damage to the dermis. The high quality PDRN injection product, has a proven rejuvenating effect. PDRN stands for Polydeoxyribonucleotides which is derived from DNA strands, typically from salmon or trout sperm that has been filtered prior to use.

It’s tissue boosting properties, improve firmness, density and quality of the skin in an extremely natural way.

Lumi Eyes treatment can help to minimise the appearance of dark circles under the eye area.

It works by targeting the pigmented areas, stimulating circulation and promoting the breakdown of melanin, which can result in a more even skin tone.

What to expect during the treatment

Upon arrival at the salon, the beauty practitioner removed my makeup. They then began making a series of small injections at targeted points around my lower under-eye area.

I experienced minimal discomfort during the treatment. The appointment time was 30 minutes from beginning to end which included the consultation.

What time expect after the treatment

I was able to see instant results, my undereye area was much smoother and my skin felt a little tighter too. Overall my under-eye area looked brighter and it definitely reduced the appearance of my dark circles. I had a small amount of swelling but that subsided after a few hours. With very little downtime, I highly recommend this treatment, so much so that I’ve already booked myself in for the second treatment.

How long does the treatment last?

The results from Lumi Eyes treatment depends on the condition of your skin, lifestyle and age. The effectiveness of just one treatment can last anywhere between 6-12 months. For optimum results, 1-3 treatments is recommended, with each treatment 4 weeks apart.

Hi, I am Charlie, a former make-up artist originally based in Norwich. I have always been passionate about art and channelling it through creative makeup. I trained at Norwich City College in Fashion and SFX makeup. My work has been published both nationally and internationally. Want to see more? checkout my Instagram - @ThePoutyLip

Jobs To Do In The Garden For May

May is a delightful month for gardeners, as the weather warms up and nature bursts into bloom.

It's a busy time in the garden, with plenty of tasks to keep you occupied. From planting and weeding to mulching and pruning, there is always something to be done to keep your outdoor space looking its best.

Here are some essential jobs to do in the garden for May.

Planting

May is the perfect time to get your summer flowers and vegetables in the ground. If you haven't

already started your seeds indoors, now is the time to sow them directly into the soil. Plant annuals such as marigolds, petunias, and zinnias for a pop of colour throughout the summer. For vegetables, consider planting tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and squash for a bountiful harvest later in the season.

Weeding

With the warmer weather, weeds will start to grow at a rapid pace. Take the time to regularly weed your garden beds to prevent them from taking over. Use a hoe or hand trowel to remove weeds from the root, being careful not to disturb your desired plants. Mulching after weeding can help to suppress weed growth and retain moisture in the soil.

Mulching

Mulching is a key task in the garden for May. Apply a layer of organic mulch, such as bark chips or compost, around your plants to help retain moisture, suppress weeds, and regulate soil temperature. Make sure not to pile the mulch directly against plant stems, as this can promote rot and disease.

Pruning

May is a good time to prune spring-flowering shrubs once they have finished blooming. Remove any dead or diseased branches, as well as any cross-crossing or crowded growth. Pruning encourages healthy growth and can help shape your plants for a more attractive appearance.

Watering

As the weather warms up, your plants will require more water to stay healthy and hydrated. Water deeply and infrequently to encourage deep root growth. Early morning is the best time to water, as it allows the plants to absorb the moisture before the heat of the day. Be sure to water at the base of the plants to avoid wetting the foliage, which can lead to disease.

Fertilising

Add a balanced fertiliser to your garden beds in May to provide essential nutrients for your plants. Choose a slow-release organic fertiliser to feed your plants gradually throughout the growing season. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions for application rates and methods.

Pest Control

Keep an eye out for pests in your garden, such as aphids, slugs, and snails. Handpick pests when possible and use natural remedies like insecticidal soap or diatomaceous earth to control their populations. Encouraging beneficial insects, such as ladybugs and lacewings, can also help keep pest numbers in check.

May is a busy but rewarding time in the garden.

By staying on top of these essential tasks, you can create a thriving and beautiful outdoor space to enjoy throughout the summer months.

Credit: Roslyn Gaunt

Ed Byrne: Tragedy Plus Time SYNDICATED INTERVIEW

By Jason Barlow

Is there no end to the man’s talents? A staple of revered panel show Mock the Week, Ed Byrne has also sledded down the side of a volcano for Dara and Ed’s Great Big Adventure, upstaged Martin Sheen and Robert Downey Jr on The Graham Norton Show, and demonstrated his driving skills on Top Gear and The World’s Most Dangerous Road. He’s also proven himself to be quiz show dynamite on the likes of The Chase: Celebrity Special, The Hit List, Pointless Celebrities and All-Star Family Fortunes. Never agree to attend a pub quiz with Ed Byrne. You will lose.

But for all his dalliances with the world of television light entertainment, Ed remains at heart one of the world’s truly great standup comedians. He has honed his craft for a remarkable 30 years now, garnering a hatful of awards and a constant, borderline bewildering stream of five-star reviews along the way. Whisper it, but it’s tempting in 2023 to take story-telling skills and a wit as sublime as Ed’s for granted. However, while he prepares to take his 14th show, Tragedy Plus Time, to the Edinburgh Fringe and onwards for a comprehensive UK tour, audiences need to

ready themselves because Ed Byrne is heading into highly emotional new territory.

“It’s something of a departure, and I’m slightly worried about that,” he concedes. “I’ve never really had the desire to write a show that had an overly serious element to it. I got a lot of five-star reviews on the last show [2019’s If I’m Honest], but some four-star ones that opined, ‘well it’s funny, but that’s all it is…’ As if that’s not enough these days. Frankly, just being funny is a furrow I’ve been happy to occupy. But this new show features some heart-wrenching, soul-bearing stuff.”

That much is indisputable. For Tragedy Plus Time, Ed bravely ventures into the world of grief and loss, a decision prompted by the passing of his younger brother Paul, aged just 44, in February 2022. Comedy that takes death as its

cue is not unprecedented, but it’s a path that takes considerable creative courage to explore.

“I was in two minds about whether to do a show of this nature,” Ed explains. “Then I decided this was the subject I was going to tackle but I wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. But once I started down that road, that was it… Then my main worry was, how funny is it going to be and is it going to work?”

These were legitimate concerns. Of course, there’s funny and there’s funny. In Tragedy Plus Time, Ed consistently delivers the latter while expertly locating the poignancy that sits at the intersection of sadness and loss. This isn’t gallows humour; this is something else altogether.

“The first time I performed it,” he continues, “it lasted more than an hour. That surprised me, but it was too long, so I had to decide whether to cut funny jokes or material that’s meaningful. That kind of decision was new to me, and what’s really annoying is that the one person I would have asked for advice on that is the guy the show’s about. It’s like when you get dumped by someone and you’re heartbroken. The one person you’d usually want to talk to about it is the very person who dumped you.

Says Ed, “I’ve spoken to people who worked with Paul, who was a comedy director, and they’ve said that his thing was, ‘you can be as emotional as you like and as serious as you like, but there has to be a joke’. So the idea of saying something purely for the emotional gut punch was off the table.”

Credit: Roslyn Gaunt

Nor is Tragedy Plus Time unrelenting by any means. The genius of it is that it takes the most difficult of subject matter and encourages the audience to laugh in its face in a way they would otherwise simply never do. Ed has also deliberately eschewed a linear narrative structure in favour of an approach that mirrors the unpredictable nature of grief itself.

“Obviously I don’t want the whole thing to be an onslaught,” he says. “That’s partly because of the digressions, and that’s why they’re there. But they also illustrate how grief works in that you can still have a good time, you can still be happy, you can still have a laugh about other things and be frivolous. But grief is always there waiting for you when you’re done with being silly.

“The show does elicit a very pure emotional response in the audience. There’s something about the fact that when somebody dies, everyone else carries on like nothing’s happened. Because nothing has happened to them. So there’s an anger in grief, too… how can everyone else carry on as though nothing has happened?”

Ed candidly admits that mining his family’s bereavement for comedic effect would challenge his performing skills – and emotional bandwidth - in a unique way. Is this a nightly catharsis for the Irish comedian? To an extent, yes.

“Death is universal. We will all lose someone. So the best thing to do is laugh at it,” he says. “Although I was aware, when I was first writing and performing this new show, that there was a danger I might, you know, lose it onstage. I did a work-in-progress at the Museum of Comedy and there was an audible crack in my voice. On the third performance I did actually cry on stage, and I’m sure for anyone who was there [assumes a very theatrical voice] ‘it was a very powerful experience’. But I don’t want it to be the sort of thing where I rip my heart out and stamp on it for the audience’s delectation. I’ve been able to throttle back my emotions and keep them in check.”

What of the origins of the concept that comedy is Tragedy Plus Time? It’s widely credited to American writer, humourist and quote machine Mark Twain, as many of these things are. Having researched it, Ed says there’s no conclusive proof that he coined it. Twain’s contribution to

Credit: Roslyn Gaunt

the arts might have benefitted from an audio/ visual dimension, if such a thing had existed in the 1880s, but it’s something Ed has avoided. Until now.

“There are WhatsApp messages from Paul that I wanted to share and I could have just read them out. But that wouldn’t have the same resonance, and you have to see them to fully appreciate the context. Then there’s a video of a weird guy who produces celebrity obituaries…to be honest, I’m still tinkering with the audio/visual aspect, so there may well be more of that in the show. It’s a supplementary element, though, it’s not integral. I don’t want anyone to worry unduly about the introduction of technology to the proceedings.”

Tragedy Plus Time isn’t Ed Byrne deconstructing comedy or going meta. That’s not what he does. Nonetheless, this is a satisfyingly left-field move from one of the undeniable masters of comedy. It is as moving as it is funny, and vice versa.

“Is it OK to talk about this stuff? I’d say this. Every night hundreds of people who didn’t know who Paul Byrne was will leave the theatre knowing who Paul Byrne was. I’m happy with that, and I think I give a good account of him on stage. I wouldn’t say he’s up there with me every night, but he’s there every time I think about the show, and I’ve got to make sure I do right by him. I briefly entertained a notion of writing a one-man play, with me sitting and talking to him towards the end of his life. But you know, I’m a stand-up comic. It’s what I do. I said to the audience in one of the early previews, ‘yes, it is sad. But don’t worry because the show is funny. Because believe it or not, I’m actually quite good at this.”

Ed Byrne is touring nationwide. For more

please visit: http://edbyrne.com/

With it getting closer to summer and the days getting longer, it means that we are getting some lovely warm weather! Here at Nova Silver, we are all getting excited for the warm summer days so we have created a list of some of our top picks to get you into the mood for summer!

Green Amber: The May Birthstone

May’s birthstone is the beautiful Green Amber. Not only is green amber a lovely stone to wear in the sunnier days due to sometimes having a glittery look, it’s a stone that varies in colour and hue. Some cuts of green amber have an orange base and some have a dark green base. The Green Amber stone is a variety of olivine which is a group of minerals. The name olivine comes from Latin and was chosen at the end of the 18th century, as the stone has an olive to bottle green colour.

Whether you are looking for yourself or a birthday gift, we have this beautiful Green Amber leaf pendant which is very sweet and petite and is perfect for a piece to wear every day. Or if you’re a fan of more statement jewellery, we have a lovely range of bespoke green amber pendants including some gorgeous oval shaped dark green amber pendants with a lovely silver setting.

Best flowers to pick in May

There is a beautiful selection of flowers that grow in May. However, some of our favorites that grow are roses, heather and the lovely Poppy. We have a beautiful range of pendants and earrings from our Shrieking Violet range that have real versions of these flowers set in resin! One of our personal favorites is this pretty Heather pendant. The green stalk in the middle of the pendant with the flower surrounding it makes it a striking piece! Heather flowers are believed to offer good luck or fortune and to represent independence.

Best Of Norfolk - Through The Lens Of Our Readers

Thanks to the wonderful photographs shared by our followers on Facebook, have a look at these amazing April images of our stunning region.

Charlotte Watlow - Burnham Market Horse Trials

Dawn Mountain - Sunrise At Mundesley

Nadine Gray - Blickling Old Wood ,Bluebells

Dawn Mountain - Tulips At Tapping

To be in with a chance of having your own photographs featured in the future, look out for our regular Facebook posts where you can add your images. Alternatively, send an email with your image and caption to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk

Vicki Jeffery

Charlotte Watlow - The View Between Two Very Keen And Alert Ears

Charlotte Watlow - No Farmers, No Food

Focus On: Mental Health

Here’s An A To Z List Of Simple Ways To Look After Your Mental Health

A - Accept your feelings and allow yourself to experience them.

B - Breathe deeply and practise mindfulness.

C - Connect with loved ones for support.

D - Do things that make you happy and bring you joy.

E - Exercise regularly to boost your mood.

F - Focus on the present moment and practise gratitude.

G - Get enough sleep to rest and recharge your mind.

H - Have a healthy diet to support your overall well-being.

I - Identify and challenge negative thoughts.

J - Journal your thoughts and feelings to gain clarity.

K - Keep a routine to provide structure and stability.

L - Learn to say no and set boundaries when needed.

M - Meditate to calm your mind and reduce stress.

N - Nourish your creativity through art, music, or other hobbies.

O - Open up to a therapist or counsellor if you need professional help.

P - Practise self-care and prioritise your own needs.

Q - Quiet your mind through relaxation techniques.

R - Rest and take breaks when you need them.

S - Spend time in nature to improve your mood.

T - Talk openly about your feelings with someone you trust.

U - Unplug from technology and social media occasionally.

V - Validate your emotions and be kind to yourself.

W - Write down your worries and then let them go.

X - eXplore new hobbies or activities to stimulate your mind.

Y - Yearn for personal growth and selfimprovement.

Z - Zero in on positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem.

Tell Me About Hypnotherapy!

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve surprised yourself at the way you’ve reacted?

Found yourself behaving in a way so completely out of character that shocked friends have commented on your response, saying it was completely disproportionate to what had happened? I’m guessing many of us have been there on occasion.

Our later reflections may cause us to realise we’d been triggered by a word, phrase, gesture, tone of voice or the situation itself. It had evoked responses linking to a past similar experience. We may have found ourselves reacting in a way that was completely

inappropriate, unlike us, but which took us back to an earlier time, perhaps in childhood, when we’d felt under-resourced, inadequately equipped and unable to control our behaviour.

In high stress situations, some people become childlike, stubborn or sulky, as they unconsciously regress to a time when they had no positive adult options available to them. Back then, they’d felt stuck, without the language skills, reasoning or life experiences since acquired along the way. They’d become stubborn, awkward or difficult, those being the only options available at that time.

Present-day situations may elicit that same response, with frustrated friends or family commenting, ‘you need to grow up!’ But

these situations are often, ‘I can’t help myself’ moments, emotional times that result in us feeling quite vulnerable. Communicating those feelings isn’t always easy or straightforward, especially if we’ve come from a family background unused to discussing such matters.

We may have grown up being a people-pleaser, behaving in ways we felt were expected of us, trying to keep the peace. Or instead we preferred to say nothing, never voicing our opinions or views for fear of being perceived in a negative light, as stupid, arrogant or pushy.

Overcoming responses that have long been engrained in our unconscious, perhaps from childhood, is not easy, especially from childhood. These responses may have been repeated throughout the years, regularly reinforced, so becoming second-nature.

Hypnotherapy is an effective way of healing automatic, embedded habits, behaviours or

response patterns as it treats the origins of the problem. It can help with those times when our behaviour occurs so automatically that we find ourselves reacting without consciously engaging, even though we may afterwards feel regretful or berate ourselves.

Relationships are situations where we may feel under pressure to do whatever is required to keep the relationship alive, no matter what the personal cost may be. We may have grown up feeling inadequate, unattractive, needing to be grateful for any attention coming our way. This outlook influences our view of the world, how we expect to be treated, what we anticipate for ourselves.

Our expectations are communicated to others through our body language, with other people unconsciously sensing how they can treat us. Hypnotherapy can clear out historic, outdated responses and allow for better, more appropriate ways of feeling about ourselves, including our subsequent successes, achievements and life experiences.

Some people feel apprehensive at the thought of hypnotherapy; ‘what will happen, will I open a Pandora’s Box, not know what I’m saying or doing, lose control?’ They may not realise that being in a state of trance or hypnosis is a natural, familiar state in our everyday lives. Think of going round a supermarket, in a dreamy state until you get to the aisle you’re interested in, or sat in a boring meeting, drifting off vaguely until someone says your name, or driving somewhere you go to regularly, suddenly realising where you are.

You’re in a drifty, floaty, secure state where you’re relaxed and disengaged. Your attention span has reduced a little and you’re only half awake. You’re not asleep, but functioning fine, operating on auto-pilot, able to go about familiar tasks and activities without much conscious intervention.

At those times you’ve neither lost control, nor given away your power. You’d be instantly awake and alert if something was said or done which required your input or attention. But, for the duration, there’s no need to be fully conscious and engaged. But, whilst in that state, if something were to happen, someone were to speak, perhaps say something unexpected, untoward, you’d become instantly awake and alert.

Human beings spend approximately 85% of their time in a trance state, performing their regular tasks, going about their daily routines, not fully awake, but equally not asleep. Not everything we do requires full conscious engagement. If it did, we’d be mentally exhausted after a few hours! As human beings only 1/7 of our minds are fully conscious, alert and aware of what we need to do, of what requires attention and input. 6/7 of our minds are the unconscious, where everything we’ve ever thought, felt, experienced throughout our lives is stored.

We never forget anything, including how we felt at that time, but that may only become apparent when a photograph, phrase or old friend from our past pops up and triggers reminiscences, things we thought we’d forgotten. We’re affected by both our good and bad past experiences. The bad associations can disrupt our lives and trigger unfortunate outcomes.

Hypnotherapy can help by healing and assimilating hurtful or painful memories and

responses, subsequently updating them to something more relevant and appropriate for where we are in our lives today.

Being in a positive state allows us to go about our everyday lives in a comfortable manner. But, if we’re constantly anticipating the worst, expecting bad things to be said or done, then we’re in a negative trance state and could benefit from some help and hypnotherapeutic intervention.

Article By Susan Leigh

Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

Looking After Our Wellbeing When Losing Weight

Mental Health Awareness Week starts on the 13th May and I would like to take the opportunity to share some top tips for wellbeing and losing weight.

Tip number 1: Improve our self-talk (especially after any set back!)

Your mind is a powerful thing, and speaking to yourself in a kind way, believing that you CAN succeed (and will!) is the very first step towards success. Lots of us have that little voice in our head that might be telling you that your dreams aren’t achievable (“I’ll never be slim”, “I’ll never be active”, “I’ll never look like that”) and the best way to stop fuelling these thoughts is to replace them with the belief that yes, you can!

We can start the week all revved up with weight loss motivation… only to find ourselves skidding off track later in the week. Take heart and know that this is normal, it happens often, Slimming World research reveals that 98% of slimmers have had a slip-up they’ve worried would affect their weight loss. Slimming World has decades of expertise in the psychology of weight loss. At the heart of this is our Slimming World groups, they are groups of caring, likeminded people, we support people to turn down their critical inner voice, so we can put setbacks behind us more easily. 84% of Slimming World members who’d had a slip-up reported getting right back on track… and losing weight! The key is to learn how to bounce back, and that starts with being kind to yourself.

Top number 2: Sitting still less

The theme of Mental Health Awareness week 2024 is being active, moving more. We know that being active is good for our health, wellbeing and weight loss, but that doesn’t have to mean hitting the gym. Simply sitting still less brings a host of benefits, which is why it’s one of Slimming World’s five active habits. One way of increasing activity is to add movement breaks into our day to day habits such as star jumps whilst the kettle is boiling, or standing on one leg whilst brushing your teeth, adding them to habits you already have makes these activity more sustainable.

Top tip 3: Do the journey with others

At Slimming World each week our groups involve personalised support, rooted in the psychology of slimming. We learn so much about ourselves, our habits and how to face all of the challenges that life throws at us. In a group of warm and friendly members, together we share, encourage, laugh and raise each other up to achieve our weight loss dreams - and so much more.

One of my members Tina shared her experience of our non-judgemental Slimming World group: “For me, when I attend group, I feel connected and a sense of belonging. I don’t feel ashamed because everyone is facing the same problem and trying to find a solution with their bad food habits. My weight affects everything in my life, When I lose weight, I feel great and my mind is in a good place. I have to be accountable for my choices in my life and Slimming World

Your mind is a powerful thing, and speaking to yourself in a kind way, believing that you CAN succeed (and will!) is the very first step towards success.

helps me to do that with no shame and gives me confidence. The group is such a significant part of my journey for reaching my goals”

You could also find a friend, colleague or family member who also wants to get healthier and set up a message group, send each other recipes, encouragement and do activities together. You’ll be surprised how many people you know also want support in this area!

In summary, weight loss can be hard but much harder when we try to do it alone so ask those around you to support you in what you are trying to achieve. You could also reach out to a local group who would love to support you. If you haven’t already start to think about how you can move more day to day, can you walk part of the school run or have a 5 min walk around your garden in your lunch break? Activity is not only good for our physical health and losing weight, it has a positive impact on our mental health. And finally, be kind to yourself, I remind members most weeks that it is a marathon not a sprint, the key is to keep going, to pick ourselves up after setbacks and know we will get there even if it takes a little longer than we had hoped.

Hi, I’m Ali, a Slimming World Consultant in Old Catton and Thorpe Hamlet in Norwich. As a slimmer myself and a parent, I love to bulk cook, making family friendly meals. I am passionate about helping people achieve their goals and feeling healthier and confident.

If you or someone you know would like to lose half a stone or more I would love to hear from you! Get in touch to find out more about Slimming World groups: 07835111224.

Working On Your Physical Health To Improve Your Mental Well-Being

Improving your mental health by prioritising your physical health is like giving your mind a big, warm hug.

Despite what you might think, the two aspects of your health are both intrinsically linked and have an impact on one another.

It’s all about understanding that your body and mind are deeply connected, and by taking care of one, you’re looking after the other too.

First off, let’s look more closely at the magic of exercise. Getting your body moving isn’t just about toning those muscles or breaking a sweat; it’s a powerful tool for boosting your mood and reducing stress. When you exercise, your brain releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins that can lift your spirits and help you feel more positive.

Consider this… you force yourself out of the house to take part in Parkrun. You feel terrible, can’t breathe properly and your legs are already begging you to stop before you’ve even reached the 1km. However, you keep going - with a few walking breaks - and knock twenty seconds off your PB. You are exhausted, but after a few minutes, you start to feel that buzz, that excitement, that sense of accomplishment… endorphins are powerful things and can really boost your mood.

So, whether you’re hitting the gym, going for a run, or even dancing around your living room like nobody’s watching, every little bit of exercise counts towards a happier, healthier you.

Next up, let’s consider the importance of a good night’s sleep. Picture this: you’ve had a

long day, your body is tired, but your mind just won’t switch off. Sound familiar? Many of us feel this way and, well, here’s the thing - sleep is like a reset button for your brain.

When you get enough rest, you’re giving your mind the chance to recharge and process all the thoughts and emotions from the day. Ever wonder why your dreams are so crazy but weirdly linked to a thought or conversation you’ve had? That’s because you subconsciously think about teeny tiny things that have happened to youhowever insignificant.

So, to ensure you give yourself a fighting chance at a decent night’s sleep make sure you’re creating a cosy sleep environment, sticking to a bedtime routine and giving yourself the gift of those precious Zzzs.

Now, let’s delve into the wonders of nutrition. You are what you eat, right? Well, not quite, but what you put into your body can have a big impact on how you feel mentally. Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean proteins can give you the energy and nutrients you need to keep your brain in tiptop shape. Plus, staying hydrated with plenty of water is like giving your brain a refreshing drink to keep it sharp and focused.

While it can feel absolutely awful to give up sugar or carbs altogether, reducing them will have an impact and you are likely to quickly feel

the benefits without encountering the cravings you would from a complete ban.

Finally, let’s not forget the power of mindfulness. Taking time to pause, breathe and be present in the moment can do wonders for your mental wellbeing. Whether it’s through meditation, yoga or simply going for a peaceful walk in nature, practising mindfulness can help you manage stress, improve your mood, and build resilience in the face of life’s challenges.

When you exercise, your brain releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins that can lift your spirits and help you feel more positive.

So, remember this - by looking after your physical health, you’re not just taking care of your body; you’re nurturing your mind and soul too.

So, lace up those trainers, tuck into that colourful salad and take a moment to breathe in the beauty of the world around you. Your mental health will thank you for it, and you’ll be on your way to a brighter, more balanced you.

May, A Merry Month For The Garden Visitor

What better place to enjoy the beautiful blooms of May than in a garden open for the National Garden Scheme?

South of the county and opening for two consecutive days at the beginning of the month is Wretham Lodge, an inexpensive bank holiday treat for all the family. Barton Bendish Hall which opens every other year is a joy, and Holme Hale Hall and Lexham Hall remain as professional and popular as ever. Enjoy a kaleidoscope of colour on a weekday opening at Stody Lodge, and there is plenty to explore at Blickling Lodge. You will find a small garden with colourful planting at Ferndale, while Warborough up on the north Norfolk coast will not disappoint.

Sunday 5th May and Monday 6th May (11-5)

Wretham Lodge, East Wretham, Thetford, IP24 1RL. Adm £7.00 Chd free. Refreshments served in aid of the church close by. Some wheelchair access. Dogs allowed. Ten-acre garden surrounding former Georgian rectory (not open). An abundance of spring flowers including many varieties of tulips, hellebores, fritillaries, and narcissi. Bluebell and woodland walk. Topiary pyramids lead to double herbaceous borders. Shrub borders and rose beds. Traditionally maintained walled garden.

Sunday 12th May (11-5)

Barton Bendish Hall, Fincham Road, Barton Bendish, King’s Lynn, PE33 9DL. Adm £6.50,(cash only) chd free. Home-made teas. Plants for sale. Partial wheelchair access. No dogs.

Traditional private country estate garden, 10 acres set within farmland. Woodland drive, orchard, south facing terrace, lawns with herbaceous borders. Informal area around pond. Working walled kitchen garden with soft fruit, espaliered fruit trees, vegetables, cut flowers and pelargonium scented glasshouse.

Sunday 12th May (12-4)

Holme Hale Hall, Holme Hale, Swaffham, IP25 7ED. Adm £8, chd free. Light refreshments. Plants or sale. Partial wheelchair access. Dogs allowed. Walled kitchen garden designed by Arne Maynard and replanted in 2016/17. Soft palette of herbaceous plants which include some unusual varieties and provide long season of interest. Greenhouse, vegetables, trained fruits, and roses. 130-year-old wisteria. Wildlife friendly with wildflower meadow and renovated island pond. Historic buildings.

Hoe Hall

Tuesday 14th May (1-5)

Stody Lodge, Melton Constable, NR24 2ER. Adm £9 chd free. Home-made teas. Wheelchair access to most areas. Dogs allowed. Spectacular gardens with one of the largest concentrations of rhododendrons and azaleas in East Anglia. Created in 1920s, the gardens also feature magnolias, camellias, a variety of ornamental and specimen trees. Expansive lawns, Woodland walks with 4 acres of water garden providing a riot of colour.

Sunday 19th May (12-5)

Blickling Lodge, Blickling, Aylsham NR11 6PS. Adm £6 chd free. Home-made teas. Plants for sale. Partial wheelchair access. Dogs allowed. Georgian house (not open) set in 17 acres of parkland inc. cricket pitch, mixed border, walled kitchen garden, yew garden, and a woodland water garden. Also open by arrangement for groups May - Sept.

Sunday 26th May (11-4)

Ferndale, 14 Poringland Road, Upper Stoke Holy Cross, Norwich, NR14 8NL. Adm £4 chd free. Light Refreshments. Partial wheelchair access. No dogs. ⅓ acre partly paved and packed with colour. Features seating areas, arches, flower borders, pond, vegetable plots & greenhouse. Craft stall and accordionist playing,

Sunday 26th May (11-5)

Lexham Hall, Litcham, PE32 2QJ. 11-5 adm £8.00 chd free. Light refreshments in aid of the Norfolk Hospice. Dogs allowed. Parkland with lake and river walks surround C17/18 house (not open). Formal garden with terraces, roses and mixed border. Traditional working kitchen garden with crinkle-crankle wall. Rhododendrons, azaleas, camellias and magnolias in woodland, set in fine parkland.

Sunday 26th May (11-5)

Warborough House, 2, Wells Road, Stiffkey, NR23 1QH. Adm £6 chd free. Homemade teas. Plants for sale. Partial wheelchair access. No dogs. 7-acre garden on a steep chalk slope surrounding C19 house (not open) with views across the Stiffkey valley. Many different aspects include woodland walks, formal terraces, lawns, wildflower area, shrub borders and walled garden, a garden of contrasts.

Many of our gardens are also open ‘By Arrangement’ which means clubs, groups or a party of friends can book directly with the owner for a private tour. A group visiting Hoe Hall last year described it as ‘Norfolk’s secret garden’. Open for just a few weeks a year, owner Vicky suggests ‘Come and enjoy a private visit to our garden, where the wonderful wisteria will fill your senses with fragrance, there is only a brief window of opportunity, so book now.

Open By Arrangement 15th May - 30th June

Hoe Hall, Hall Road, Dereham, NR20 4BD. Book direct with owner https:// findagarden.ngs.org.uk/garden/43423/hoehall. Tea & cake option available on booking.

Walled garden featuring a long, white wisteria walk. This is set in the grounds of a Georgian rectory surrounded by parkland.

The garden was redesigned in 1990 to incorporate climbers and herbaceous plants, with box parterres replacing the kitchen garden. There are espaliered fruit trees, and an old swimming pool with water lilies.

Before setting out to a garden it is always advisable to check the website for any upto-date information ngs.org.uk