IN THIS ISSUE... COVER STORY: Expand Your Life... Mary Morrissey
3
iCoach SUCCESS CORNER: A Formula for Givers... Stacy Nelson
9
iCoach Spotlight: Shannon Peebles
24
Giving Rooted In The Practice Of Gratitude, Heather Doyle Fraser
7
What’s Your Giving Boundary?, Kristen Beireis
8
23
Giving: A Selfish Freedom, Davida Arnold Your "Weeds" Are Your Greatest Gifts, Brooke Campbell Give Your Business The Gift Of A Net, Lisa Fraley From Grouch To Grateful, Kathie Holmes GIVE, Phil Shuart Give AND Get Paid Generously, Sherley Grace The Secret To True Love, Bernice McDonald Giving From The Heart, -Kendy Sproul Give Without Expectation, Mary Joyce The Courage To Give, Milissa Harding The Parental Art Of Giving, Sharona Sommer
A couple of FYI’s... Yes, it’s the small print! First off - none of the articles in this magazine, including the cover, were paid for. This is not and will never be a Pay-To-Pay because I am dedicated to supporting our membership first by promoting their awesomeness and to our readership second by delivering the best content we can. The advertisements on the other hand are either paid for by our sponsors or are affiliate links that will help offset the expense of publishing this monthly Magazine so we can keep it as free and easily distributable. If you have any comments or concerns, please contact our team at Info@iCoachNetwork.com
Giving Together I met Mary Morrissey at an eWomen Network event last December and I had one of those fan-girl moments where I was so excited I couldn’t figure out what to say to her. Me without words is not a common phenomenon. She was a guest just like me and she handed me her card as I somehow managed to ask her to please be on the cover of this magazine. I knew her theme had to be GIVE as I’ve long heard her speak on the idea of tithing as the most important part of living an abundant life. So I’ve literally almost waited a year to have her take her place, awaiting her article with great anticipation. But you know, it wasn’t so much her fame in the coaching and self development industry or the great things she’s done that had me flustered. It was her energy - she was just so kind and loving and gracious. She just exuded that aura around her that everything in the world is good. And in that moment when she gave me a hug, I felt my path unfold before me with the knowledge that this strong woman in front of me helped each of us create this industry of coaching that we so love. She gave of herself so that we can now give of ourselves. And then driving home I hopped on the phone with my girlfriend exclaiming “I just met Mary Flipping Morrissey!!!” like she was Adam Levine, a rock star of self development. Fan girl moment I’d relive in a heartbeat.
With Love & Light Stacy Nelson, Founder iCoachNetwork.com
www.iCoachNetwork.com
2
“The Law of Receiving is activated through the activity of giving”
EXPAND YOUR LIFE BY ACTIVATING THE LAW OF RECEIVING “When you’re looking at your problems, you see more problems. When you’r e looking with gratitude, you begin to see solutions and so much more to be grateful for.”
Over the last thirty plus years working as a speaker, and trainer of transformation, I have found that, generally speaking, people are very much interested in learning how to expand their lives. Most people know what they want more of: health, work, love, money or freedom. The challenge is that most people just aren’t achieving the results they really and truly want. Not achieving the life we want is a result of being focused on the wrong things. Most people are focused on how to GET, rather than on what and how to give. There is a universal and powerful principle at work here, which if unlocked and unleashed, is a “game changer” for increasing results for both you and your clients. You see; if you truly want to get more love in your life, give more love. If you want to receive more abundance, start giving more consistently a percentage of the little you think you now have. 3
In simplified terms, “giving” is how you activate the Law of Receiving. Every thought and every action generates an emotional response in our nervous system. And every emotion has a vibration to it. And every vibration is a magnet to more of the same. Looking in your wallet and mumbling, “Well, I can’t have what I really want, so what can I afford?” will not bring increase into your life. The complaining vibration only activates and attracts more scarcity. So how, when looking at results that DO seem scarce in love, money, health or freedom, can we actually activate the Law of Receiving and bring increase into our lives? How do we give when we are feeling scarce? Add the magic of a consistent and regular practice of Gratitude for adding magnetic power for invoking the Law of Receiving. A grateful person is a giving person. Have you ever noticed that? Gratitude generates in us the desire to give! The pure pleasure of a life filled with giving puts us in harmony with the life we want to live. How you handle your money, words, and actions, believe it or not, can be used to bring increase into your life. And of course, the opposite is true as well. Yes, you really can amplify your relationship with the flow of abundance as you generate gratitude throughout your day and in every action you make.
If you want more flow in your life, in ANY area, you must be the place the flow moves from. To increase the flow, increase your appreciation of the life you are living now and put your resources toward that which is in greatest harmony with the life you want to create. Start with an increase in your gratitude for what you have now. When you pay your bills, remember to appreciate having had your phone work all month, or having the water flow freely. Whenever you feel restricted around money, pause, take a deep breath, and then turn your thoughts to gratitude. Then, act out of gratitude. For example, buy the person behind you in line a cup of coffee or tea and FEEL generous. Let a mom who looks hurried, cut in line at the grocery store and wish her well in raising our future leaders. These are powerful re-patterning tools that invite more prosperity into your life and help you to stay in the flow. Norman Vincent Peale once wrote about giving. This has inspired me for many years. "When you discover the wonder of giving, you will wonder how you could have lived so long in any other way." I firmly believe that giving is the key that opens the door to every good thing in each of our lives. Before learning to be a daily giver, we keep asking Life to “give” us something and Life says, “Sure, I’ll give you more of any frequency you are tuned to.” The frequency of “get” is harmonious with lack..
4
Giving opens the door to greater good because we simply FEEL better as a giver. As we feel better, we start having a new viewpoint and can make new choices. Giving and Gratitude are harmonious with abundance. You can’t just breathe IN. Giving is the healthy out-breath. Regular giving brings a whole new dimension to our daily life where we live feeling and the knowing that we truly live in an abundant and plentiful universe. And this can be one of the greatest discoveries of life. When you become a committed giver, you could no more go back to the old way of living than you can go back to prehistoric times. Here are four important elements to help you activate the Law of Receiving: G - Gratitude Gratitude is the feeling that is harmonious with abundance. It lifts our perspective, and changes our vibration such that we actually see more possibilities. With this generative gratitude, you start to see evidence of the abundance that is everywhere present. I – Increase Increase your own good and the good of your family, community, and the world around you by giving your gifts. There are no limits to the amount of good you can experience. Look for ways you can be a person of increase with every interaction and transaction. You can give an hon-
est compliment or your full attention or encouragement. Adding value to each person’s life in every interaction from those you meet at a grocery store to going above and beyond with clients, increases the fun in your day. By giving increase you experience increase. V – Victories Victories are meant to be celebrated. Remember that energy flows where your attention goes. No matter how small they are, celebrate your and other’s wins. Do this daily and watch the “wins” grow. E – Enthusiasm Enthusiasm is contagious and keeps you in the flow. Make it a practice to give with enthusiasm. Bring your best to every situation and you will stand out and shine. Allow your passion and joy to come bubbling to the surface. You can give your enthusiasm. Now as an experiment, for the next 30 days, turn the volume up on your daily giving. Just for 30 days. Then, just notice what happens in the receiving areas of your life. Experience shows that if you do this with a good and open heart, you will never look back. Just make sure you give with your whole heart and let life show you how givers gain. Hey, it’s only thirty days. And it’s a great month for a Giving Experiment. Then just, see what transpires in all areas of your life.
5
Mary Morrissey is world renown speaker/teacher/ coach. She is the author of two best-selling books, No Less Than Greatness and Building Your Field of Dreams, which was produced into a highly successful PBS special. She has spoken three times at the United Nations, and facilitated 3 different weeklong meetings with His Holiness The Dalai Lama. Mary has a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, and an honorary Doctorate in Humane
Letters and she has built two multi-million dollars businesses. It is one thing to achieve success, it’s a very different thing to achieve it and sustain it. Mary is one of only a handful of people on the planet who have been playing at major level in the speaking/teaching/coaching industry for over 3 decades. Get more infor mation at MaryMorrissey.com
MOVIE 1.1 Mary Morrissey: What is the Law of Receiving?
6
GIVING ROOTED IN THE PRACTICE OF GRATITUDE There are many ways that you could go about building this practice, but there is one way that I have found to be more effective than others for most people. The strategy I use with my clients is to begin a Gratitude Journal. Sometimes, though, the idea of a blank page staring at you in the morning is just paralyzing, so I give people a SIMPLE format: Gratitudes: Today I am grateful for... 1. 2. Why is it that some of us have such a difficult time giving, while others seem to come by it so easily. What is the root of that difference? Is it just personality and character traits or is it something else... something more? In my work with clients, I have noticed something about the givers -- they show and express gratitude daily, AND they make decisions based on this gratitude and state of abundance. For those who do not practice being grateful on a daily basis, it is much harder for to give because these people are making decisions from a place of lack. So, how do those of us who don’t generally feel abundant move to that place of gratitude? PRACTICE. That’s right, practice. Research shows that it takes 21 days to build a habit; the key is making the practice so simple and easy that it can be consistently repeated until it becomes part of the fabric of your daily life.
3. I ask people to write down three different things for which they are grateful everyday. These can be anything: you could be grateful for the place you live, for your job, for your partner, for your independence, for the sun shining on your face, for the sound of the rain, or the smell of steaming, hot coffee in the morning. We can all be givers if we practice. Feel your abundance and let the giving begin! Heather Doyle Fraser is a Transformational Life Coach and founder of Beyond Change, LLC. As a coach, Heather works with highly successful people who feel blocked, stuck or lost in one or more areas of their lives. She holds the space and vision for her clients as they move toward their inherent greatness. Her mission is to inspire joy and transformation and give people permission to live their most authentic life. If you would like to connect with Heather, please visit her website at www.beyondchangecoach.com or on Facebook or Twitter @hdoylefraser. 7
WHAT’S YOUR GIVING BOUNDARY?
Yes, this moment can be frustrating and it can be difficult to clean the mess up. However, if you don’t cross over that line you’ll constantly be frustrated by trying to hold back. Wouldn’t you rather be free and know exactly how much you’re willing to give? So, I say give. Give all you want. Find your breaking point and set the boundary there. As coaches, we tend to be very giving people. We want everyone to experience the magic and joy in life. So, it’s hard when we want to give so much to people, yet we’re creating a business where we get paid to give these gifts to others. Have you been encouraged to offer sample sessions and then, 2 seconds later, challenged to not give away the farm? Or have you been told to give a free offer, but "make sure you save something that they will want to buy afterwards." Sometimes it’s hard to hold back. Sometimes it’s hard to give “JUST tip of the ice berg” information. Sometimes it’s hard to say “I can help you, but you’ll have to pay me.” Ugh! Well, what the heck is a giving person supposed to do with that?!! Give!
Giving allows you to show potential clients who you really are. Don’t keep them at arms’ length because of some arbitrary rule that someone made up. Give. Enjoy. Set Boundaries. Get clients. Kristen Beireis is the Trust-Building In Marketing Expert to Coaches. She created the Inner Trust process because she got tired of watching business owners struggle; wear themselves down and give up their personal time in the name of “marketing”. She is on a mission to help coaches trust in their own, natural, approach to marketing; creating energy, ease, and clarity. Kristen does this by helping her clients clarify their values and use them to build a down to earth, successful and do-able marketing plan.
Break the rules and give what you want to give, regardless of what you’ve been taught. You see, each one of us has a breaking point. There is a line where, once crossed, you’ll feel a tug, a churn in your stomach and an unwillingness to move forward with someone. That’s when you’ve found your giving boundary.
8
“Who are you going to serve today?”
A FORMULA FOR GIVERS I like helping people. I love the energetic high I get when someone has a breakthrough, the chills and goosebumps when that ah-ha moment happens.
“The need to give drives me, like breathing, to wake up each morning and find somewhere else to give. But there was a time when I forgot how to breathe.”
I’m the one you find in the kitchen helping clean up after a party at someone else’s house. I’m the one who volunteers to sit at the registration table while others mingle. I’m the one who helps my friends figure out what their next steps are while they are breaking down. I’ve seen them through divorces, deaths, career changes, and general day to day hair-onfire moments. Shoot, this magazine was created because I wanted to find another way to help my fellow coaches succeed, both by reading the content and by being able to contribute articles along side some of the legends of the coaching world like Mary Morrissey.
9
Why did I become a coach? Because it gave me the perfect venue to be of service. The need to give drives me, like breathing, to wake up each morning and find somewhere else to give. But there was a time when I forgot how to breathe. My business wasn’t taking off. I was posting on Facebook. I was emailing terribly clever marketing messages. I was participating in one event after the next. I had fliers printed and cards in hand. I would get people into the ‘Discovery Session’ and I’d fall apart. I’d start to coach and then realize that I’m not supposed to give away coaching. So I’d rush the potential client into the magical mystical close and present my coaching package. And then they’d disappear. I wasn’t serving. I was grabbing. I was so focused on GETTING a client that I forgot to GIVE of myself. I forgot that the greatest gift I can give them is my coaching. I had read that the first call should only be 15 minutes and that I had to find the person’s pain, dig it up and leave them wallowing in it and then leverage that to close the sale. And to never, ever, ever give away my coaching because it cheapens it. I tried that formula for a really long time and you know, it might be really effective for some people. Personally however, I found it deeply flawed for who I am. I mean, I became a coach to help heal people’s pain, to guide them through to their answers and
their dreams. I didn’t become a coach to manipulate them into thinking they are less-than if they don’t hire me. And leaving them in pain felt wrong to me. So I realized that the formulas were backwards. I don’t want to leave them in pain, I want to leave them in possibility, with hope and love filling their hearts. I wanted to coach the heck out of the person on the other end of the line regardless of whether they paid or not, regardless of whether they were my ‘ideal client’ or just someone who needs a little boost, regardless of whether I closed the deal or not. My intuition said ‘GIVE’. So I started following it. I started giving my gifts and talents. I didn’t worry about what I was going to get out of the conversation, only that I was committing to giving some sort of breakthrough no matter how long it took. Instead of having to sell my coaching, I gave them the experience of it. I transformed lives and businesses. The miracle happened the second I stopped selling... I had people asking to be my client rather than me begging for the business. So now I use a different formula for those first phone calls, one created specifically for a GIVER. 1. Don’t hold back If I can help someone, I do. I don’t withhold the information for only my paying clients. If I’ve created something that will help them I send it. If there’s a book they need, I buy it for them. If
10
there’s a piece of coaching we can do around something, we do it. 2. Don’t be in GET mode I cannot go into a conversation worried about what I plan on getting out of it. Having that as an expectation taints open-hearted giving. Release your expectations and what YOU want. Instead focus on what THEY want and then give it to them. 3. Don’t get caught up in formulas Yes, I get the irony telling you not to use the formulas in a formula. Just use your intuition 100% of the time. Don’t sit there thinking “I’m supposed to make an offer now” if it’s not genuine. If you have given enough of yourself and your coaching, the person on the other end of the line will ask you how you can continue working together. When you step out of your intuition, you step out of your heart space and up into your head. Not nearly as powerful or effective.
Stay fully in the present moment with your client and listen more than you speak. That’s where the possibilities and dreams lie and that’s the place where magic is created. 5. Love Giving Wake up each day wondering not where the business is going to come from but instead wondering who you get to serve. Who are you going to give to today? Stacy Nelson is the Founder of iCoach Network, an International circle of life coaches coming together to support and inspire each other on a daily basis. Keeping with the theme of ‘As one rises, we lift each other up”, Stacy also publishes this monthly digital magazine for iCoach Network, highlighting the fabulous coaches within the network. Specifically she is a Business & Life Development Coach helping soul-inspired entrepreneurs to market with their hearts and tap into their authentic purpose through their businesses.
4. Don’t forget to listen If you’re in the call to be of service, the highest service you can provide is being a deep listener.
11
GIVING: A SELFISH FREEDOM
When I think about the word give, the phrase that comes to my mind is “selfish-freedom.” It’s a conflicting paradigm on the outset, to say the least. I think it makes sense to predict that most people probably describe the opposite of giving as selfish. I define selfish as being primarily concerned about one’s own pleasure and gain. Is it the antithesis of a giving spirit? Maybe it is, or maybe it is not. It’s all in your perspective. I believe that one of the side effects of giving is the freedom that comes from doing it. There is freedom in giving. Even when we don’t intend on it, giving takes our minds and our thoughts off of ourselves and allows us room to focus on others. When we are manifesting a spirit of giving, we are freeing are minds from focusing on our own baggage – our tough times, our heartache, our trials and tribulations, our disappointments, and our lack. Giving is not just a distraction ploy to take our focus off of what we may be going through so that we can feel better.
Giving helps us to be open and available to extend our resources to others because it takes our focus off of ourselves! Then we are free to be more present to others. Yes, I give to help others. I give because my divine Crator calls me to. I give because it’s important to me to make a difference in someone else’s life. I give because I believe that what goes around comes around. Therefore, I give because I have benefited from the generosity of others. And, I give to free myself of myself. I love what giving does for me. That, by definition, may be selfish, but it’s one selfish need that I willingly fulfill. Davida Arnold is a wife, mother of 4, and a personal growth coach. Her mission is to help people transform their lives so they live by design, not by default. She loves to help her clients become more intentional and purposeful in their choices and actions to achieve their dreams personally, relationally, professionally, and spiritually.
12
YOUR "WEEDS" ARE YOUR GREATEST GIFTS
want to walk away. My gift of giving to my daughter, my family, friends, and those I work with is found in my presence.
The phrase: “For it is in giving that we receive” by Francis of Assisi holds such weight in its complexity. My universe altered when my daughter was born. What my toddler gives to me is the gift of feeling out of control, the fear of not knowing, the pain of vulnerability, and the triggers of not being perfect. I view these as gifts because they are my “weeds” which show up to be tended to, pulled, and nurtured to make space for flowers to bloom. What are your “weeds” which present as emerging issues that continually show up in order for you to take notice and action? In giving to others, ourselves, and our purpose-driven work, we place our fragile ego at the door and carry with us meaning. When we come from a place of service and acceptance, treasures are unearthed and we claim them as our own.
A gift presented to me ten years ago came in the form of feedback while studying at graduate school at New York University. When I felt moments should to be planned in my Drama Therapy training, my mentor told me I was enough. That just by being present in my work serving others was enough. When we are fearful, imperfect, feeling out of control and inferior, we are enough. This message of being enough is my gift to you. Give your presence to others and you will inadvertently be tending to your own “weeds” in order to create space for your own flowers to bloom. Brooke Campbell is the founder and director of Creative Kinections, LLC. Creative Kinections is a consulting practice which provides psychotherapy, coaching, workshops and training services for children, teens, families, adults, and professionals. We offer creative self-expression for personal and professional development. www.CreativeKinections.com
I identify with my daughter’s tantrums, fears, struggles, vulnerabilities, and triumphs. Although I struggle, I aim to remain present when I 13
GIVE YOUR BUSINESS THE GIVE OF A NET These business systems and legal protections are investments of time, energy, and dollars, for sure. No question about it. But they are necessary – and not only that they are nothing less than gifts to yourself. Gifts that allow you exhale and relax – so you can feel safe to stretch and fly. It’s funny how easy it is to leave the nest when you know your business is safe and sound. As we head into this holiday season, give your business the gift of a net – so you can leap into the new year watching your nest egg grow. Have you ever thought about the fact that when you feel safe, you also feel free? When you are free, your business can grow. You feel secure and protected, and your business can thrive. You lean forward, you take risks, and you fly high - knowing full well that the net will catch you below. On the other hand, have you ever noticed that when you feel unsafe, you tend to stay stuck? You don’t risk. You don’t jump. You stay put. You somehow find yourself scared to draw outside of the lines. Your business is stagnant. You become paralyzed. You feel small. While you sit snug in your nest, you are fully aware that your nest egg isn’t growing at all.
Lisa H. Fraley, JD, CHHC, AADP, is a Legal Coach™ (Attorney + Holistic Health Coach) who creates compassionate contracts and containers to hold and support your business - so you feel safe, secure, and protected. Lisa combines her years of work in a large law firm with her powerful coaching skills to help driven coaches and entrepreneurs create heart-centered legal boundaries, so you can boldly and confidently do the work that you love without worry, stress, or fear of being sued. Visit www.lisafraley.com for her free gift: “The Top 3 Legal Mistakes Coaches and Holistic Entrepreneurs Make - and What To Do Instead”
In business, the systems and protections we put in place become the net that gives us the security to fly. When we take steps to add accounting and financial systems, automate e-newsletters, and create legal business entities, we are literally adding building blocks that allow us to feel safe. We create a firm foundation to support our business as it grows - a net to catch us as we leap.
14
FROM GROUCH TO GRATEFUL
Do you remember Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street? Despite his grouchy nature you can't help but wonder if Oscar had a heart of gold he was protecting under that grumpy exterior. For a lot of us we get grumpy or grouchy when we feel we have been hard done by instead of admitting how we are feeling and dealing with the situation at hand. Often we bottle up the feelings until they seem like insurmountable mountains that we can't get past. If we were to deal with those feelings on the spot we would realise that we have complete control over them and that by storing them up we are only making our own lives unnecessarily complicated. As human beings we are conditioned to not “upset the apple cart” or “let sleeping dogs lie” when it is these exact things that end up causing us inner turmoil and dissatisfaction with life and those around us. Next time you have an issue that has you feeling grumpy about life, try tackling it from a different
perspective. Look at the actual issue, weigh it up in the scheme of things. Is it really that important? If you don’t get your way will it really matter in the long run? If you have been mistreated can you deal with it immediately rather than putting it off? Deal with these issues as soon as they arise rather than delaying them. Allow yourself to put negative issues to bed instead of allowing them to fester in your body and create disharmony. Give yourself the gift of peace. Living a peaceful life is far more beneficial to your health and wellbeing and to those around you. By giving to yourself you also give to others by putting forward the best you that you can be. Kathie Holmes is a Clarity & Creativity Coach and founder of Creative Ability Network and blogger at KathieHolmes.com. Through the network, Kathie aims to support women on their journey through both life and business.
15
GIVE
Is there anything so central to personal happiness and success than the word “give”? Every great thinker or spiritual teacher for the last 3500 years has approached the subject of happiness in life by saying it is always in serving (giving) that you are rewarded. Love is abundant in the universe and you can’t out give the universe. G = Gratitude. Start your day with thoughts of gratitude. This takes some practice if you are used to complaining first thing in the morning. Let your first thought be, “Thank you”. Being grateful is always a choice that’s available to us all the time. I = Invite. Invite into your day opportunities for you to give. A good question to ask is: Who and how can I serve today? Coach’s tip here: Don’t struggle to find the answer to the question. Just ask the question and let it sit with your inner being and be open to the answer. Answers often come in surprising ways throughout the day. V = Value. In every situation from tying your youngster’s shoes to being courteous to someone in the checkout line at Wal-Mart, add value
to each situation of life in which you find yourself. Most people have the idea that in order to be of value they must be part of a grand and glorious event that makes CNN. Life is actually made up of little things; so, add value to each moment. E = Expectation. Expect that opportunities for you to give, as well as receive, will appear. We generally miss opportunities for serving others (and being served) because we do not live our days in expectation that wonderful opportunities will come our way. I have heard it said that what you expect to happen usually does. Phil Shuart loves being an effective agent for change in someone’s life. He says, “It is so exciting to lead people to experience a more meaningful and happier life both spiritually and emotionally.” Phil is a firm believer that the world gets better just one person at a time. To be a part of that “getting better” process is joy and a privilege. Phil is the author of the forth coming ebook “Your Amazing Self-Image”, The Center for Life Success, LLC Helping you get from where you are to where you really want to be. www.SuccesfulLifeToday.com
16
GIVE AND GET PAID GENEROUSLY The good news is that if you are a women entrepreneur who over gives and generates less income than you desire, you have the power to change this starting today. Here are a few tips to help you give AND get paid generously:
Are you a woman entrepreneur who absolutely loves to give, give and give some more? Do you over deliver when working with your clients? Do you continually go over on your coaching sessions? Offer your services for free or charge by the hour? What I have found in working with hundreds of women entrepreneurs is that this limitless “generosity” sabotages their business growth and their ability to generate the business income they desire. Another reason why this is a problem is because it tends to attract very needy clients, who are demanding. A third reason why this is a problem is because you are undervaluing yourself and your services, not to mention often overwhelming your clients. Many of the women entrepreneurs that I coach feel they need to give their clients everything they know and everything they have. This is not generosity. It most often stems from a need to be liked, a fear of not being good enough and a lack of boundaries.
1. When you are designing your programs, products and services, focus on the benefits clients get from working with you and determine what is the minimum you need to give them to help them achieve this transformation. Clients are looking to achieve a certain result; they are not looking to get loads of extra “stuff” that only serves to overwhelm them. 2. Take a look at your current products and programs and cut the content by half. Use the extra content to create your next program. 3. Stop giving your services away for FREE and charging by the hour. Raise your rates and create packages. You will attract clients who are more committed, less demanding, do the work and get results. Isn’t that why you went into business in the first place: to generate fabulous income and help people achieve amazing results? Sherley Grace is an Award-Winning Certified Coach, Speaker and Business Growth and Leverage Expert who helps women coaches, consultants and service professionals eliminate overwhelm, CHARGE WHAT THEY ARE WORTH and MONETIZE and LEVERAGE their business, while creating a life they love. Sherley is the founder of DiscoverYourPowerStrategies.com. She is the creator of the IMPACT Business Freedom ModelTM and the simplyDONE! Virtual Get It Done in a DAY Workshops.
17
THE SECRET TO TRUE LOVE
2. Variety (fun, challenge) 3. Significance 4. Love/Connection
"She's so clingy! Why can't she back off and be happy?" "He's so controlling! Everything has to be his way." It's all about the heart. It's always about the heart - that mysterious place inside where most of us want someone to go but we often haven’t been there ourselves. "Love is all we need..." the song repeats over and over. Each of us have our own individual definition of love and that definition is, to be honest, heavy on the receiving end. "Come shower me with time and attention - my way." Ironically, Heart, it's the opposite. Real love comes only when we begin to focus on knowing the heart of the one we love. I learned this the hard way - divorce. As a Broken Heart Coach, I have observed it in crushed singles The Secret to True Loveand struggling couples. The heart has "needs" and we all want them met or we shut down. Six needs, in fact, the first four being top priority if you are breathing. Need for: 1. Certainty (comfort, avoiding pain)
Everyone on the planet with skin on, yes, even you, strives to meet these needs, in positive ways or negative. And the expectation when we fall in love is that they will all be met.....at last. Now for the real secret of True Love….giving: 5. Through Growth 6. Through Contribution Everything that isn't growing is dying. We give to ourselves by learning, learning, learning about life, about the one we love. And we flourish when we give out of a heart that desires nothing in retur n except to see someone else light up. Exchange needs 5 and 6 with the Number 1 and 2 spots in your life....and you will find your heart. You will find abundant fulfillment and, I might add, true love. Bernice McDonald is a Broken Heart Coach because I had to kiss a lot of toads before I met my handsome prince. My heart was broken in a million pieces after my divorce but, instead of caving in to bitterness, I chose to keep learning. Now I am married to the man for which it was all worth it. I founded Hope Source Life Coaching in 2010 out of my desire to coach those with broken hearts back to Cinderella love. Never Give Up on True Love! 18
GIVING FROM THE HEART
Everyone loves a gift. There’s just something about it that makes us light up inside. But, the best gifts are the ones that come straight from the heart. The ones that money can’t buy. They’re precious. Irreplaceable. Unforgettable. Think about the gifts you received this year. Which ones meant the most to you? Which have you already laid aside and forgotten about? Chances are, the gifts you hold most dear are the ones that were given from the heart. Now look back at everything you've given to others this year. What was your biggest investment in those gifts? Was it money or your heart? Which gifts truly touched the heart of the recipient? The incredible thing about giving from the heart is that you can do it no matter what your financial situation. In fact, the gifts that don’t involve any money are often the most heart centered and meaningful gifts of all. The gifts of time, service, listening, and caring, are all gifts of “self” and come from the heart. When you give from the heart, you share a bit of your soul with another person. You share a part of who you are and what life is about for you. You
enrich their life and yours. You make that person and their needs important and you make them feel loved. You touch that person at the soul level and leave an imprint. If everyone gave from the heart in everything they did this world would be completely and forever changed. There would be no war. No poverty. No homelessness. No gangs. No crime. And while that is not likely to happen in our lifetime, you and I can make a difference in the lives of the people around us by taking time to give from the heart. Kendy Sproul is a writer, speaker, Women’s Inner Power & Purpose™ coach, and the founder of Women’s Transformational Coaching. Her passion is helping women with painful pasts unlock their inner strength, realize their personal beauty, and discover their divine purpose. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, Kendy helps women break free from the emotional bonds of the past and step fully into the strong, confident, radiant women they were born to be. Stop living as a prisoner of your past – sign up for a free 20 minute coaching session here: www.WomensTransformationalCoaching.com 19
GIVE WITHOUT EXPECTATION So how can you give with an open heart and not be disappointed if its not appreciated or reciprocated. Firstly you have to think about how much value you want to add to the world. From a business standpoint you must give so much value - such as an idea, that when they implement it, it changes their life, now that’s priceless.
You get what you give, so give good. When Stacey put the call out for amazing peeps to submit an article and shared the theme, I thought yay that's one for me. As anyone who's in my tribe can testify I give away tons of valuable information to help them grow their business and online visibility. However sitting down to write it or in my case a few words/concepts here and there was a different matter all together. What could I say about giving that wasn't akin to teaching my grandmother how to suck eggs? Mmmm...... Surely anyone reading this is familiar with the thought stream that the more you give the happier/more abundant your own life will be. The Definition of giving states to freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone) Anytime someone gives something to someone with strings/expectation attached its always received with caution – a feeling of “so what do they want from me kinda energy, not good. We give our time, our love, our words, advice, expertise, information, help and guidance.
What do you think they'll be saying about you then? Be so good they can't ignore you Quit thinking about what you want to get from people, start thinking about how you can create and give massive value whether you get paid or not, this can make you a very wealthy person indeed. Mary Joyce aka the ResourcesQueen is a gifted intuitive Coach, Speaker, Writer and mum to two beautiful young children. She works with business owners, organizations to maximize their resources, leverage strategic partnerships to grow their tribe and build a solid profitable business. Her clients include UK Government agencies, charitable organizations, corporate clients and entrepreneurs who want to grow and leverage their time and resources. Setting systems in place to automate and get ready to reach the next level of growth and profit. She’s a master connector and a born leader who has a global network of partners who support and promote her and her client’s services Grab My Free Toolkit of the Top 50 Business Building Resources
20
THE COURAGE TO GIVE Secondly, we need to find opportunities to share these beautiful gifts with those around us. Not everyone will be ready to receive what we have to offer, but some people will, and those are the ones that we are divinely connected with who really need what we have. When we choose not to share our gifts with others (even if it’s because we’re afraid to), we unintentionally deny those who really need our gifts from experiencing what they are most looking for.
In what ways to you give and share with others? Perhaps you enjoy giving gifts, money, opportunities, friendship or the gift of time. Giving feels wonderful, doesn’t it? It feels wonderful to give, and it feels wonderful to receive, which completes the cycle of giving. I believe that giving is a very personal and spiritual practice, and that it takes a tremendous amount of courage to give. We are all born with innate talents, gifts and abilities that define who we are, and gives us clues as to what our purpose and passions are in our lives. When we give of ourselves fully by sharing these innate things with the world, others benefit. In fact, I believe that it is our duty to share who we are and what we have with the world. The first step is to become really clear on who we are and what our unique offerings are. This is no small task, and it often takes some quiet reflection as well as support from others to create a clear picture of what we have to share with the world.
Sharing and giving from our deepest selves is a courageous act, because it can push us to the edge of our comfort zones, where we risk feeling vulnerable and perhaps rejected by others. However, when we move past those fearful feelings, we can become the gift that the right person is looking for and ready to receive with deep gratitude. Milissa is a Certified Holistic Health and Lifestyle Coach and founder of Embrace You and Your Biz, where she teaches entrepreneurs how to step into their own spotlight and shine, by fully embracing their lives and their businesses, from the inside out. Request your FREE audio, The Four Secrets to Embracing Your Life and Your Business by emailing Milissa at embraceyouandyourbiz@gmail.com. You will also receive weekly tips and strategies to learn exactly how to bring your best self into your business, so that you create a life and biz that oozes of ease and joy, everyday.
21
THE PARENTAL ART OF GIVING tools necessary to be able to be independent and confident in the “real world”. Resilience, coping and perseverance are tools necessary to get through life’s more challenging moments. Although it may be difficult, once again you must THINK before you react to a situation. The best gift you can give your child is the ability to wait. Waiting will allow your child to problem-solve themselves while still knowing that you are there for support.
Raising children is not easy and as parents we do our very best to give our children what we had or what we never had. So what’s the secret to raising responsible, considerate children? Think BEFORE you give! Selfawareness may be the key to having more control over our impulses to give unconditionally and without limits. There are two ways to give. We give possessions or we give of ourselves emotionally. When we give material things, THINK about the reason why you are giving a gift. Is it a birthday? A holiday? A reward? Before running out to buy the latest and greatest, THINK about the reasons behind it and if you are comfortable with it. Is it really for your child or do you have a secret desire to be able to have the things you never had as a child? Also, does the gift match the occasion? Giving a little treat for a job well done is warranted, but an IPAD, not so much. Emotional giving is not as clear cut or as easy to control. As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, discomfort, and pain. Children that are overprotected don’t grow up with the
With practice, you can be proud of yourself for mastering the art of GIVING rather than “giving in”. As a professionally trained energy life coach, Sharona Sommer partners with parents that are dealing with the various personal issues surrounding raising children, teens & young adults with Asperger's and Learning Differences. She offers a highly personalized approach tailored to each individual. In a supportive atmosphere, Sharona helps clients attain the family and personal growth they're striving for. For more information or to schedule a free explor a t i o n s e s s i o n , e m a i l sharona@sharonacoaching.com, call 321-2414 6 5 4 o r fi n d o u t m o r e a t www.SharonaCoaching.com
22
JOIN US ON
FACEBOOK.COM/GROUPS/ICOACHNETWORK
23