IN THIS ISSUE... COVER STORY: The Risk of Passion: Live Your Greatest Capacity and Leave an Eternal Legacy ... Marilyn Rodriguez 3 When The Glitter Doesn’t Shine ... Stacy Nelson
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Discovering Your Life’s Work ... Karen Davis
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Avoiding the Shadow Side of Passion ... Monica Day
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Passion: A Portal to Freedom ... Christy Harden
Passion Is What You’re Left With ... Amir Karkouti
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Passion: Somewhere to Get to? ... Rich Habets
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A couple of FYI’s... Yes, it’s the small print! First off - none of the articles in this magazine, including the cover, were paid for. This is not and will never be a Pay-To-Pay because I am dedicated to supporting our membership first by promoting their awesomeness and to our readership second by delivering the best content we can. The advertisements on the other hand are either paid for by our sponsors or are affiliate links that will help offset the expense of publishing this monthly Magazine so we can keep it as free and easily distributable. If you have any comments or concerns, please contact our team at Info@iCoachNetwork.com
PassionateTogether When Marilyn and I first spoke, we started talking about writing and how passionate we both were about it which naturally led into asking her to be a part of this magazine... and led us to naturally be a part of each others’ lives Marilyn is nothing but PASSION. She’s never half in. We’ve had magical conversations where she gets an inspiration and she pulls over and we call whatever needs to come in right then! Success is so completely a state of mind for her and when she FEELS something, she stands up and proclaims it to the world. Not that living passionately has always been an easy path. High emotion isn’t easy for any of us. Why I love having her involved in the magazine is the fact that she does the inner work every day to be able to be in full alignment with herself and her message. She’s not afraid to stand up and declare that she will be responsible for world peace once her passion tells her that she needs to. And get her talking about her son any day and there’s no doubt that this woman is intimate with love and passion, as an advocate and as a mom and as a coach. So when she brought forth her story this month it was no surprise that she took a terrible heart wrenching situation and turned it into a beautifully powerful reminder to live a life of passion and to leave a legacy that reflects the life you most want to live. Loving you all and your passion... for whatever that looks like. With Love & Light
Stacy Nelson, Founder iCoachNetwork.com
www.iCoachNetwork.com
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“Imagine, for a moment, that you could say YES to everything your soul longs for.”
THE RISK OF PASSION: LIVE YOUR GREATEST CAPACITY AND LEAVE AN ETERNAL LEGACY THE DEEPER MEANING
“Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. Believe in what seems absolutely impossible because when you believe in the impossible, magic happens.”
Often, the word passion is associated with success and going after what you want with fervor and dedication; commitment and focus. And all of those are true. Let’s explore a deeper meaning of the word though; one that is often underused for the greater good. Passion comes from the Latin verb patere meaning to suffer. When someone suffers, they feel deeply. They feel it in their b o n e s a n d i t i m p a c t s e v e r y a s p e c t o f t h e i r l i v e s . The key to experiencing passion is to FEEL DEEPLY. To feel beyond the point where you think you should stop feeling and explore new emotional territory. To let go of the “face” you think you need to show the world, take off your mask and reveal who you really are. You can be good at something but you are not great until you are passionate. Your level of passion determines the path of your life. 3
My interpretation of passion is about feeling your emotions down to your bones and stripping away everything that covers up who you are. I want to take you on a deeper journey. Let’s go on a ride to the outer skirts of passion. The places within you where passion lies, waiting to be heard and seen. LEAVE A LEGACY THAT IS ETERNAL I recently officiated a ceremony for someone who recently passed away and who held a special place in my heart. As I stood in silence waiting for nearly 200 people to gather and focus on the beginning of the ceremony, I could feel emotion taking over. My body began to tremble. Tears were dripping from my eyes. It became difficult to focus. I stood behind the microphone, all eyes on me, in silence. Tears flowing. My heart ached. I glanced a few times at his father, sister and his wife and I felt them so deeply. I had prepared something to say and because of my tears, I could not see the words on the paper. All eyes were on me and I was wide open for them to see. I had to surrender. Once I did, I felt a sense of relaxation and strength rising through me and I began to speak. I don’t remember everything that I said. I do remember bringing LOVE into the room and inviting everyone there to come from that space. Every cell in my body felt alive with emotions like s a d n e s s , l o v e a n d h a p p i n e s s . The ceremony continued and several people chose to speak and share their memories. As I
look back at that night and recall the stories that were shared about our friend and how he impacted people’s lives, one thing is true…he LIVED passionately. He was described as someone who didn’t have a bucket list. He lived his bucket list. He didn’t hold back. He did what he loved. He gave selflessly to everyone who needed him and it filled him up. That was his purpose. To be happy and spread love and enjoyment. His artwork was displayed so everyone could view one of his greatest and most heartfelt contributions. There was music, food, celebration and a lot of tears. No one held back. Everyone loved. We all cried. We all laughed. I witnessed how people’s lives were changed by this one man. How he loved people so deeply that his legacy of love will live on forever through them. As I walked to my car, a man stopped me and thanked me. He told me that the words I spoke were exactly what everyone in that room needed to hear. He went on to say that he felt everything I said in his body and that he wanted to stay there. He thanked me for my passion and willingness to let go and speak from my soul. Passion changes the cells in your body, raises your vibration and aligns you with the divine plan. When you live passionately, the world changes. IMAGINE Earlier I invited you on a journey to the outer skirts of passion. The untapped places within
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you that hold the seeds for miracles through this one magical and powerful quality. Imagine, for a moment, that you could say YES to everything your soul longs for. Imagine that if you said YES to those dreams and desires, even the ones you have never shared with another living soul, your life would change. Everything would line up for you. Imagine that you could allow yourself to feel happiness ALL THE WAY and not stop yourself halfway from feeling those emotions. Perhaps that feels risky at an emotional level and I’m asking you to imagine anyway. Imagine that you surrendered to those feelings connected to your deepest desires and dreams. What does that look like? FEEL those feelings. Do you feel excitement? A knot in your stomach? A buzzing sensation throughout your body? Do you feel doubt or expansive? There is a RISK associated with passion. If you don’t live with passion you will not live your fullest potential. You’re basically selling your soul if you don’t live with passion. So, how would your life change for the better if you surrendered to the feelings associated with y o u r d e e p e s t d e s i r e s a n d d r e a m s ? Close your eyes and stay with this now. Let it emerge through you.
then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe When you surrender to the FEELINGS associated with your desires and dreams, providence moves. Suddenly rules and formalities no longer take a front seat. You no longer feel constricted to “this is how it is so I have to play by those rules because I’m afraid I might lose or miss out on something.” Scarcity and the kind of passion I’m talking about here do not fit in the same container. You miss out when you keep yourself in the box of what you are told to believe. That is when you push your passion away and why I invited you to explore the outer skirts of your passion. Your deepest feelings and desires are there waiting for you. Passion is the key to creating what you want. Period. When you FEEL passion, then you can commit. And once you commit 100% to something, Providence moves. Passion makes you want to create what is impossible.
PROVIDENCE MOVES
It makes you unstoppable.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
It is an emotional journey and without passion you are not awake to the air you breathe. Believe in YOURSELF. Believe in your DREAMS. Believe in what seems absolutely impossible. Be- 5
cause when you believe in the impossible, magic happens. Marilyn Rodriguez is a trusted guide, coach and mentor specializing in guiding thought leaders and visionaries to their TRUE purpose. She is a “Seer into the Soul� and holds visions of her clients larger than they can imagine for themselves, reminding them of how amazing and powerful they truly are. She has coached celebrities,
artists, actors and visionaries with global impact and has shared the virtual stage with Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols and Marci Shimoff as well as other spiritual leaders. A third generation healer, Marilyn discovered her gifts at an early age and continues to transform lives with her gifts. www.themarilynrodriguez.com
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“The passion isn’t in the project. It’s in us, and then we proceed to produce passion based outcomes.”
WHEN THE GLITTER DOESN’T SHINE “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” -Oprah Winfrey Passionless I sit...
“Passion isn’t static. It’s not something you just HAVE. Like any fire, it’s something that needs to be stoked and nurtured.””
... looking at the pages of my magazine. Seeing them come together month after month. I don’t feel passion. It’s a routine, another task. I love my magazine. I love publishing it. I love writing in it. I’m just not passionate about it anymore. I consider how powerful it is when I’m excited about something. That’s not the energy that surrounds me any more. I’m struck with the thought that perhaps this will be my second to last issue with one last one to do for January. I won’t seek out any more cover coaches. I won’t seek out any more authors. I won’t sit down one day a month and dive into a topic. I feel the ache of letting something amazing go, yet it makes no sense to continue creating something I’m no longer passionate about.
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It’s akin to being in a passionless relationship - devoid of any real emotions, time just passing by with one minute no more important than the next. Hours, days, months, years sucked into the neutrality of a life without color. Routine and comfort replacing inspiration and exploration. Do I remember the thrill of that first issue? Do I remember what it felt like to get a ‘yes’ from a big name coach to be on my cover? Do I remember how by the end of that first year, the glitter had started to peel off of the pages, how I knew that in order to continue I’d have to infuse something new into the mix? Do I remember how in year two I changed it all up in order to reinvigorate my passion, to keep me going, to find something new to challenge me. Passion isn’t static. It’s not something you just HAVE. Like any fire it’s something that needs to be stoked and nurtured. I’ll admit that I get bored easily. My most passionate moments are those where I am doing something new and different, where I’m challenging myself, when I’m answering a question with ‘I don’t know if I can do that but I can’t wait to find out.” I’ve already found out that I can publish a magazine. 21 issues later and nearly 100,000 reads, my mission was accomplished. And I have a choice - I’m at a crossroads here. Do I stop? Or is this important enough to me that I’m willing to challenge myself with a new direction, a new way of publishing or being or doing or whatevering with what I’ve already built?
Am I more interested in creating something entirely different (or nothing at all) or am I more called to create something deeper or bigger? Where does the passion lie? That’s the million dollar question. Because let’s face it... I refuse to live a GREY life. I will not do things that don’t light me up. Life is too short and too precious to waste on things where the heart and soul are not engaged. “Without passion you don't have energy, without energy you have nothing.” Donald Trump This magazine was never built for profit. It was a project of passion. And to allow it to be anything less would be out of integrity with me, with my mission, with my purpose and with the whole point of living a totally human existence. I am an emotional being. I choose to live a life of full color. No passion... No project. Period. So I ask myself, what can I do to stoke the fires here? What would make it new and edgy and challenging and fun? What would it look like to shake it all up? What if the very foundation needs reforming? “If you don't love what you do, you won't do it with much conviction or passion.” Mia Hamm Who would I love to speak with? What would it look like? Feel like? Read like? How can I take a few pages and completely transform someone’s life? What needs to change to create passion in my soul for a project that I do in fact love? To stoke the flames of my own passion are to ignite the passion in my project out in the world. If I 8
were to eradicate the doldrums one vibrant color at a time, where would I start? Stoke the flames I’d start with the love. I’d start with the excitement. I’d start by looking at what would feel challenging. I’d start by asking myself, what routines need to be completely blown up and what new routines would support me more. I’d start by journaling and drawing and creating something almost from scratch. I’d start by remembering my heart. For you see passion isn’t something we just wake up feeling for no reason. It’s something we can create, in ever corner of our being there is a small flame waiting to be stoked. I see where I’ve gotten lazy. I create a miracle month after month, and I take if for granted because it’s become so easy and routine. Where we find complacency is where we find true growth Get out my glue gun and glitter. Wave my wand of awesomness. Howl at the mood. Dance with the dangerous swords of truth. I cannot toss magic bombs into the world and create tidal waves of inspiration from a place of duty or chores or deadlines. It’s gotta look and feel fun. And it has to mean something to me and help perpetuate my message of unique self trust and badassery in motion.
cret energy juice to keep going. See it’s not outside of us. The passion isn’t in the project. It’s in us and then we produce passion based outcomes. I was waiting for this magazine to do the stoking for me. It was a project of passion so I assumed that it would continue to just by being, create a perpetual passion machine that required no internal effort to stay engaged or passionate. We need to be willing to internally work each and every day to create the passion-juice to keep us going. I grow every day... so my projects I create have to also grow in tandem. How can I inject more passion into everything I do? What would make this more fun? More glittery? More heartfelt? More ME? What this means for the future of this magazine is unclear as of this moment. What it means for me is a deep reminder that everything we need is inside of us and that true passion is something that must be cultivated daily, not just taken for granted. Stacy Nelson is the Founder of iCoach Network, an International circle of life coaches coming together to support and inspire each other on a daily basis. Stacy also publishes this monthly digital magazine for iCoach Network, highlighting the fabulous coaches within the network. Specifically she is a Coach & Trainer helping intuitive entrepreneurs to build their businesses with their hearts and tap into their authentic purpose.
It’s in US, not the PROJECT The passion cannot lie dormant. We cannot just expect our ideas to continually GIVE us some se9
“... sometimes it is better to learn how to function in the midst of dysfunction while seeking your path of passion..”
DISCOVERING YOUR LIFE’S WORK
“Embark on that deep inner-journey to discover for yourself your life’s work. Because that is indeed the key to ne ver ha ving to “work” a day in your life again.”
There’s a big difference between being good at something and discovering your true passions and life’s work. While I think I intuitively already knew this, I didn’t realize how large the chasm between the two is until I experienced it firsthand for myself. Despite being exceptionally successful in my corporate career, in early 2006 I finally admitted to myself that something just wasn’t working. For quite some time, I felt stressed and that stress was beginning to take a toll on my health and my mental well-being. I felt like I was simply going through the motions of life and clearly was NOT truly on my life’s path. It was like being lost inside a rainforest with no guide, no clear path or direction. Worse yet, the faster I tried to run, the more I realized that I was just wandering aimlessly. And then on that fateful day back in 2006, I came into work and found myself in that same rainforest, yet I was standing on the precipice of a towering cliff. The organization I had worked for had just been acquired. While admittedly, I had an offer to stay on with the new company, that theoretical lifeline piece of paper (complete with a non-compete) held no appeal for me whatsoever.
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Instantly, what I needed to do became clear to me. I knew that I had to take that gigantic leap of faith in myself and that only in the freefall would I discover my passions and ultimately my life’s work. I was clear that I wanted to do something far bigger with my life. I knew that whatever that might be, I wanted it to be an expression of my greatest gifts. I wanted to be extremely passionate about it and ultimately, the lines between my personal and professional life would blur. In other words, I no longer wanted to dread Sunday evenings knowing that I’d have to ‘work’ on Monday mornings. I wanted to wake up each day and embrace each moment of my life while being in service to others. From that point on, my career as an entrepreneur, consultant and coach began to unfold almost magically. There was a new sense of being connected to something far greater than myself that brought a renewed sense of spirit and a vibrant aliveness into my life. For me, the discovery of my passion for coaching was in such clear alignment with every other aspect of my life. I knew that coaching was my ‘home-stretch’ career and that I would be amongst the best in the profession. I also knew that the money would follow. Today, I coach many business professionals that have the same feelings as I had of being stressed, stuck and out of alignment with their passions and their life’s work. We dive deep into their unique strengths, gifts, passions and hidden potential. They become a new observer of how they have been showing up in the world versus how they would choose to show up in the world. As we do the deep work, oftentimes, the
people in their circles begin to notice the subtle changes. While everyone’s personal journey is different, there are a few key steps that I’ve discovered that can help you help them find their way. Discovering Your Passions A wonderful way to help your clients discover what they may be passionate about is through a process of reflection on their life to date. Adapted from the book, Passion at Work the central idea is to reflect back on your own life. So you simply ask them (and have them record in a drawing), what did you love to do before the age of 12? What were you passionate about in school? What have you been passionate about in your career? What in your current family life excites you? How can you get paid to do what you love? And, who are your inspirations or heroes? From there, you can begin to look at all the patterns and trends across the various areas to begin to look at their meta-passions. For me, my meta-passions were leadership, relationships, adventure and creativity. Clear Intention Before taking on a new client that is in career transition, I always follow this one principle from the Prosperous Coach, “Challenge the yes and agree with the no.” Your client must have a clear intention for discovering their passions and taking the required actions. As a coach, you will be of great service to your ‘not-yet clients’ if you challenge their commitment to creating change and discovering their life’s work. If they give you excuses, be sure to agree with them – agree with the no. It more than likely means they are simply
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not ready to do that requisite deep coaching work. Taking the Leap Every situation is unique, and depending on the individual and their tolerance for risk, sometimes it is better to learn how to function in the midst of dysfunction while seeking your path of passion. It takes time and deep work to uncover your heart’s calling. I had a client that did the deep coaching with me for over six months until he could clearly see his vision for his career path. From that point, he entertained multiple offers for over a year all the while improving his leadership skills, relationships and career satisfaction inside his current position until he came across the opportunity that was most in alignment with his vision and passions. I have also had other clients that take the “hero’s journey” as I did. They take the leap of faith and in the freefall with clear intention discover their heart’s desire. As a coach, it’s important to note that you can’t (nor shouldn’t) push anyone into taking that leap. They alone will know when they’re ready.
Finding It for You Too I would hope that many of you have already discovered your life’s passion just like I have – that you bound out of bed each morning because you can’t wait to get going doing what you truly love to do. If you haven’t discovered what you adore just yet, don’t worry, there’s still time. If so, I’d encourage you to embark on that deep inner-journey to discover for yourself your life’s work. Because that is indeed the key to never having to “work” a day in your life again. Karen Davis is a certified Ontological Executive Coach working with clients nationally and internationally. She provides one-on-one deep coaching services with high-performing executives, entrepreneurs, business professionals, and coaches who are committed to their success, ready to uncover their hidden potential and make their own unique difference in the world. Karen is also the creator and founder of Mastermind 21™ – The Leadership Exchange. You can reach Karen for a powerful conversation at: 303.665.4301 or learn more by visiting, www.karendaviscoaching.com
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“My coaching is a mystery. I don’t know what will show up for me or my client. It’s not been created yet.”
PASSION IS WHAT YOU’RE LEFT WITH How many coaches here have a hard time starting a conversation in a casual atmosphere outside of coaching circles? How many people get at a lost for words when people ask you what you do? Do you know why? Do you know why it’s so difficult?
“When we join two incredible people inside the womb of wisdom and intuition, the world has different rules... loving what you do is what you’re left with.”
I’ll share my experience in hopes that somebody will get an insight of their own. First of all, our profession is not a scientific profession. It’s not rational. The place we work from is our intuition. Our intuition uses different rules; it plays by a different game. When somebody asks us what do you do, in essence they are asking how do you intuit. They are asking me how do I conceive wisdom? Here is when the problem shows up. We can’t answer the question. Because the real question that is being asked is “Can intuition be reduced to intellect?” And that’s when we struggle when people ask us what we do. We use a paradigm that is beyond the intellect. It’s the things that show up when our intellect has tried and failed. 13
Yet we feel required to answer in the same paradigm where the sense of language no longer exists… It’s the place where we can argue and discuss and put things on the table. That’s not where we work. That’s why it’s been so difficult for us coaches to tell others what we do. It’s no wonder the Prosperous Coach way to acquiring clients is to what? To coach…To intuit and connect the wisdom, not to tell people what we do. There is nothing for me to tell others about what I do. Because really the only thing I can share is the end result. The end result can show the numbers, the progress and the bar they went over. The end result enters back into the intellect…We can share the successes, because that’s where the intellect strives. When asked how they got there, we can’t use our intellect…they will have to see for themselves. Coaching is created in the empty space, the gap. Coaching or our intuition can be felt by our intellect but it cannot be explained by it. The reason is because our intellect works on a horizontal scale. It has a time limit. When somebody interested in coaching wants an explanation, we can only offer them answers through our intellect. Answers like where did it come from, where is it going, what is the cause, how long? They are bound by time. Our profession defies time. Coaching defies time and causes. Coaching happens in the NOW. It’s alive. Intellect requires the past, a map, it’s regurgitated information. The intellect has it uses. Doctors use their intellect, Great doctors also use intuition.
There is a reason that the best Zen masters didn’t answer questions. They responded with Koans. They were not being cheeky; they understood that the understanding wasn’t going to happen on an intellectual level. So how do we begin to show others what we do… We start by living it first and foremost. By living it the explanation is right in front of them. And when they ask, we slow them down to experience it. And if they don’t get it, we slow ourselves down to become grounded again. My coaching is a mystery. I don’t know what will show up for me or my client. It’s not been created yet. That is not a cop out or a way to say I have no idea what I do…but the “I have no idea what I do” is the closest I’ve come to realize what I do. And the more I remove myself from the intellect, the closer I live into my intuition and wisdom…and when I have reached that potential, the intellectual space of money, fees and commitment are looked from a different place. The feeling of fear, anxiety slowly melt because I no longer have to answer them in the intellect. If our clients see the connection from a place of wisdom and intuition, jumping back to the intellect (for compensation) to continue dancing in the other world is easy. The naysayers that are seeing fees from a place of fear, pain and anxiety are trying to answer their roles as a coach from a intellectual place…it’s no wonder that the fees don’t feel “right”. How do you measure the value of clouds…how do you charge for the empty space of the notes that make the music? A coach does not explain. He expresses. He is nonexplanatory.
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The Upanishads use to express their wisdom, but they did not explain anything. They would say, “This is such, this is so; this is what is happening. If you want come in. Do not stand outside; no explanation is possible from the INSIDE to the OUTSIDE. So come in – become an insider.” (Osho) Have your potential clients come in to their wisdom and leave their intellect for a bit. Don’t join them outside in the cold. The intellect is cold, it’s calculating. Come in where it’s warm; it’s close to the heart. When we join two incredible people inside the womb of wisdom and intuition, the world has different rules…Loving what you do is what you’re left with. Amir Karkouti realized that coaching is similar to what he does for his father at least twice a month. Every once in a while, Amir’s father spends at least 10 minutes looking for his glasses. He looks and looks and looks, and I show up and remind him that it’s been on his head the whole time. My job as a coach is to remind you how amazing, brilliant and special you are. At times we can feel like we’ve lost those qualities. I get the pleasure of reminding my clients that they’ve never lost their true idea of themselves and to stop searching for them.
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AVOIDING THE SHADOW SIDE OF PASSION A romantic partner once told me he loved me so much, he often felt moved to commit a “crime of passion” – which was both a clever way to threaten to kill me, and a window into the doubleedged sword that is passion.
True passion is as complex as it is inspiring. It asks us to become our best selves – to commit with everything we have, to constantly improve and expand, to be dedicated and tireless in our efforts.
When we go looking for “passion” in our work and in our lives, we are chasing a depth of feeling. We want that quickening of our heartbeat, that strong feeling of conviction in our belly. We believe our energy will be boundless, our work will have meaning, if it’s fueled by this tireless fountain of inspiration.
But it can also lead us astray. Into obsessive and addictive behaviors. Outside the bounds of selfcare. Attached to outcomes, oblivious to signs that might point us in a different direction. And worst of all – not present in the moment.
And it will. Except… We forget that there’s a shadow side to passion. Indeed, the word itself is derived from the Latin verb, patere, which means “to suffer.” In the same way that we sometimes romanticize love and forget how much it can hurt, we are also prone to a naïve view of passion that has us underestimate the impact it can have in our lives.
I work quite intimately in the realm of passion. I have witnessed the longing for it when a client has lived without it for a long time. I have helped remove the thorns of it when a client has gotten lost in the brambles of passion, and forgotten how to be with anything else. When they have lost balance and perspective. In all cases, there is a critical connection that’s been lost – that allows passion to either run wild or run dry. A connection with the body.
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Quite simply, the body doesn’t lie. It allows our passion to be powerful, and it keeps it in check. If we let it. Recently, I participated in a leadership intensive with some of the most powerful coaches in the world. Earlier in the day, the group broke into partners and discussed their passion, their “why,” with one another. Many found it challenging, unsettling, hard to articulate. Later that evening, I got the opportunity to lead them through the same material – but through a different doorway. They left behind the formal environment of chairs and microphones and got into their bodies. They danced. They played. And, finally, at the end of the evening, they picked partners again. I challenged them to express their “why” again – this time, non-verbally, in movement, with sound. To be patient with the words. They may come, or they may not – but to trust their bodies.
Passion that isn’t grounded in the body, or connected with the whole of your being is not only ineffective – it can be downright dangerous. Passion that is integrated in mind, body, and spirit – is unstoppable. Monica Day (www.monicaday.com) has been working with both groups and individuals for over 20 years, as a guide, facilitator, teacher, trainer, mentor, coach, and instigator. She is a gifted writer, inspiring performer, compelling speaker, and transformational workshop leader. Five years ago she founded The Sensual Life (www.thesensuallife.com) as a place where people can explore, express, and experience their sensual selves. Then, she combined that area of expertise with her 20+ years of business and entrepreneurial experience to establish a revolutionary, integrated coaching experience that leaves nothing out – and helps her clients create lives beyond what they dared dream.
While I wasn’t surprised by the results – most of them were. Some reported realizing their “why” felt inauthentic; that it was from their head, but they couldn’t feel it. Some felt their “why” change. Some felt it land in their body, deeply – and found a new confidence in it. They also reported being able to balance their passion for what they want to create and who they want to be as a coach – with other important parts of themselves. Some reported knowing they needed to slow down, to spend more time with their family, or in nature, or alone. They felt the missing connection.
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PASSION: A PORTAL TO FREEDOM
Parasailing, pottery, dancing… passions are not merely activities we love to do, they are doorways back to our true selves, to freedom. While the activities we identify as our passions may change over time, these portals to Self always exist; we recognize them in experiences in which we “feel alive.” That “alive” feeling of flow and vitality when we’re doing something we love feels terrific, and understandably, we often attempt to replicate the activity to continue to access that experience. But that’s where we’re getting it backwards.
we bring into existence the excellence of drafting a short story, leading an inspired meeting, or creating a delicious entrée. It’s actually the Being (our awareness of the energized feeling of flow), not the doing of the activity that we enjoy so much. In a seamless cycle of love, however, doing also becomes a portal for the awareness of Being. The doing not only supports access to the Being, but simultaneously becomes its expression as well. This, in my opinion, is why we are here: to express the love that is Being through doing.
The feeling of “aliveness” doesn’t originate with the activity itself, though it may initially appear that way. The activity simply shifts our attention to the aliveness that is already there. Passions bring our attention back to who we really are. The ecstasy we feel when we are in the flow, thoroughly engaged in an activity we love—this is the essence of our true selves. The activity is only a passageway.
The problem? We tend to identify with our portals–our passions–becoming attached to them. We’ve got the cart before the horse when we think what we’re passionate about makes us who we are. “Who AM I if I’m not a surfer?” This common ego identity crisis results from identification with the doing, with the action, which is an extremely dangerous way to live. Eventually, whether through physical limitation, financial circumstances or other roadblock, the doing may not be possible anymore. Then our perception is often that we’re left empty handed, deprived of
Passions are portals that jettison us into awareness of the joy of Being. It’s from that space that
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what we defined as our life’s purpose. Sadly, some people end their lives due to this misunderstanding. In reality, the surfing does not define me. Surfing, like any other activity through which I channel love, is merely a modality for expressing the energy of Being that is inherently who I am. A critical key to living an authentic, free and passionate life lies in untangling our understanding of ourselves from our psychological dependence on doing and having. Realizing that our aliveness is what drives our passions (and not the other way around) frees us to express the joy of Being in every moment. Liberated from the prison of believing we need anything at all to effortlessly experience our aliveness, then we can truly play with form without attachment. We can ice skate, mountain climb or crochet to our little heart’s content: it’s all in who we’re Being while we’re doing.
Christy Harden passionately supports others (and herself!) in living authentic, free and vibrant lives. Among other entertaining enterprises, she teaches classes on raw food and consciousness transformation as an en*theos professor, and recently embarked on an adventure into raw food and consciousness coaching. She holds Master’s degrees in both English and Speech Pathology, and a Bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies. Her first book, Guided by Your Own Stars; Connect With the Inner Voice and Discover Your Dreams, is available on Amazon.com, where her forthcoming book on the raw food lifestyle will appear as well. Find out more on christyharden.com
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PASSION: SOMEWHERE TO GET TO? “Rich, I want to find my passion. I want to start doing what I love. I want to feel more passion. I want a more passionate life, a more passionate relationship. More passion inside of me!” I hear these phrases, and variations of it, almost every day when I talk to people. People treat passion like it’s something “out there” and it is to be “discovered” like a Jack Sparrow looking for the treasure chest on some far forgotten island. The Holy Grail: Passion. When they talk about their lives and their business it’s fairly easy for me to see where they are stuck and why they are stuck. And it’s totally unnecessary. They believe in something “out there,” some place to get to. People quit their jobs, quit relationships, and basically put their living on hold while they are looking for their passion. Mark Cuban says this about passion in his blog: “Follow Your Passion” is easily the worst advice you could ever give or get. Why? Because everyone is passionate about something. Usually more than 1 thing. We are born with it. There are always going to be things we love to do. That we dream about doing. That we really, really want to do with our lives. Those passions aren’t worth a nickel.
Think about all the things you have been passionate about in your life. Think about all those passions that you considered making a career out of or building a company around. How many were/ are there ? Why did you bounce from one to another ? Why were you not able to make a career or business out of any of those passions? Or if you have been able to have some success, what was the key to the success? Was it the passion or the effort you put in to your job or company? If you really want to know where you destiny lies, look at where you apply your time.” This is the Genius cycle: When you do what you’re already good at and like to do, then you will get positive results. Positive results lead to positive feedback and positive feedback will encourage you to do more of it. Soon you’ll be a genius and a passionate one. The opposite is also true by the way… Look, I have nothing against passion. Passion is amazing when it’s a creation. A place to come from. As long as we understand that passion (as any other state of mind) is not something to get to (and put our lives on hold in the meantime) but a place to come from. Let me tell you.. when I come home at night looking to get some passion from my wife it will be a totally different evening 20
than when I come home all passionate and loving. Totally different evening (don’t mean to get all specific here but you get my point) I no longer go looking for passion. I come from it. I set myself on fire. There’s nowhere “to get to”, there’s only “to come from”. Rich Habets is a high performance expert who lives near Amsterdam in the Netherlands. He works with executives and top professionals on the subject of (self) leadership. Rich loves to travel and create now possibilities out of nothing. What few know about him is that he’s a former expert on the prevention of male baldness
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