iCoach Issue 19 POWER by iCoachNetwork

IN THIS ISSUE... COVER STORY: True Power Comes From Within ... Karen Davis

Want To Be Powerful? Don’t Try To Be Your Coach ... Amir Karkouti

Love Is The Only True Power ... Marilyn Rodriguez

The Quest Is The Lie ... Stacy Nelson

This Is Power ... Amy Jo Davies

The Power Of... ... Jamie Siv Rognstad

What Is Power? ... Phil Goddard

The Mastery of Power ... Star Staubach

The Super Power Of A Mean Girl ... Wendy Costa

Embrace Your Power ... Heather Doyle Fraser

Who Holds The Power In Your Life? ... Donna Higton

How I Made Peace With My Love Of Power ... Randi Radul

A couple of FYI’s... Yes, it’s the small print! First off - none of the articles in this magazine, including the cover, were paid for. This is not and will never be a Pay-To-Pay because I am dedicated to supporting our membership first by promoting their awesomeness and to our readership second by delivering the best content we can. The advertisements on the other hand are either paid for by our sponsors or are affiliate links that will help offset the expense of publishing this monthly Magazine so we can keep it as free and easily distributable. If you have any comments or concerns, please contact our team at Info@iCoachNetwork.com

Powerful Together When Karen picked POWER, it was before I had chosen Vulnerability for myself and I was like ‘damn, that was MY theme’. Turns out that it was right and perfect because digging into vulnerability was an eye opener for each person who wrote. I’m grateful that Karen ‘stole’ my theme. And I feel like it fits HER perfectly, it fits just right. Karen and I met at an event over a year ago. We randomly ended up at a lunch table together and instantly connected as we dove into intuition and talking about what an incredibly powerful tool it is. Yes, powerful - it came up in our first conversation. I will confess that it is actually impossible to not feel the power of this woman when you speak with her. She just exudes it in a decidedly feminine way.. She coaches some powerful people too. Her mission to bring love into the executive world is a huge undertaking requiring an inner reserve of fortitude and strength. She’s straight forward and honest and open. I loved her right away. I knew that I wanted to collaborate with her, my fellow Queen of Powerful Ass Intuition. So when we met again a few months afterwards I asked her to be one of my creative partners for this magazine. Obviously it was a hell yes for her... I didn’t know at the time that we would take such a powerful move as to claim the cover spots as well... but I should have known that when you play with powerful creators, magic happens. It’s such evidence that surrounding yourself with people who intimidate you just a little is the best way to claim your own seat of power yourself. This issue is about to blow your socks off. If you ever wondered how to truly claim the juicy powerfulness of you, your answers are here...

With Love & Light

Stacy Nelson, Founder iCoachNetwork.com

www.iCoachNetwork.com

“I not only wanted to go beyond my own internal glass ceiling, I wanted to shatter it.

TRUE POWER COMES FROM WITHIN

“If our lives are dedicated to something lar ger than ourselves then it gives life meaning. And meaning creates empowerment.”

It feels as if I’ve spent my entire life learning about power. I excelled early-on in my career to positions of leadership. I was very successful at managing teams, creating long-standing relationships and even hitting revenue targets that others deemed impossible. I combined my ability to strategically see possibilities and my gift of intuition to navigate effectively. To the outside world, I appeared confident, direct and powerful. However, on the inside, I was in a constant struggle with my own inner-power. I often felt insecure and I had a tremendous fear of failure. Admittedly, there were even times when I would resort to manipulative behavior to seize power. To protect myself, I stayed in the shadow of my manager (typically, the founder) and even my business partner to avoid the limelight and my inner-power struggle. In May of 2005, during my mother’s funeral, I finally admitted this long-standing inner-power struggle to myself. I knew that time was marching forward and that the stress of this inner-battle I was enduring was literally killing me. At graveside, I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that it suddenly dawned on me that the birds and the wind and even the eloquent words of my brother’s eulogy had all gone utterly silent, as if someone had pressed some giant “mute” button. But then as clear as a bell, I 3

heard my own mother’s spirit implore me, “When are you going to do something about this?” From that day forward, I slowly began a journey of self-exploration that has included mentors, coaches, intensives, experiential retreats, books, meditation and self-reflection – all of which have had a profoundly positive affect on my life, my coaching practice and my understanding of power. It is possible to tap into the inner power that resides inside all of us. For me, the process was a three-step journey. First, I needed to refine and redefine my beliefs surrounding feminine and masculine energy. Next, I had to learn to soften the edges and trust myself enough to drop into my very wise and open heart. And finally, in that heart, I needed to discover my deepest purpose in order to truly begin to live. Integrate Your Masculine and Feminine Energies I not only wanted to go beyond my own internal glass ceiling, I wanted to shatter it. With the guidance of my mentors, I came to realize that simply would not be possible while I remained so energetically out-of-balance. I had mastered the use of my masculine vibration by being goal-driven, competitive, independent, logical, ambitious and focused. Those were all outward power focused energies and I had learned to rely on them a little too much. It was time to rediscover and honor my feminine energy and strength. Feminine energy and power are derived from intuition, receptivity, feeling, emotion, compassion and nurturing. Both energies, when in balance, make us whole. Whether you happen to be a man or a woman.

As I became more conscious of what my relationship has been with the different energies of the masculine and feminine, I became more comfortable with holding my inner power and letting my light shine. Drop Into Your Heart As I began to soften and awaken the portion of myself that nurtures and brings forth life, I dropped deeper into my heart. I began to let go of old negative patterns and fall in love with myself. I found forgiveness for old resentments. My voice softened, my posture improved and my internal presence began to billow and blossom. I began to trust my intuition and its wisdom. I rewired my intentions for deep listening and curiosity. I no longer needed to prove myself to others. I created an attitude of servitude. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and ‘seen’ by others. The chattering voices in my mind became more faint and so did my struggle with inner-power. Discover Your Deepest Purpose If our lives are dedicated to something larger than ourselves then it gives life meaning. And, meaning creates empowerment. When you deeply connect your purpose or your calling to a higher level of consciousness such as creativity, love, compassion, joy or peace you not only radiate inner-power you become connected to a higher collective energy. Being noble is being powerful. Friedrich Nietzsche says it best, “This is the manner of noble souls: they do not want to have anything for nothing; least of all, life. Whoever is of the mob wants to live for nothing; we others, however, to whom life gave itself, we always think about what we might best give in return.” 4

My deepest purpose is creating more love in the world, specifically, by making the feeling of love be omnipresent in the workplace. I knew there was an impeccable higher purpose for my work and once I acknowledged it, I became deeply connected to my inner-power. I’ve often said to my friends and colleagues that coaching is my ‘home-stretch’ career. I could not imagine a greater gift or more noble contribution to the world. If you’re willing to put in the work, you too can let your inner power out to play. Just find that delicate balance between your masculine and feminine side. Let your heart fill you through and through. And then uncover that deeper purpose that makes it all worthwhile.

Karen Davis is a certified Ontological Executive Coach working with clients nationally and internationally. She provides one-on-one deep coaching services with high-performing executives, entrepreneurs, business professionals, and coaches who are committed to their success, ready to uncover their hidden potential and make their own unique difference in the world. Karen is also the creator and founder of Mastermind 21™ – The Leadership Exchange. You can reach Karen for a powerful conversation at: 303.665.4301 or learn more by visiting, www.karendaviscoaching.com

Just don’t be surprised if you feel a little like the heel-clicking Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz. It was right inside of you all along.

“We keep searching not realizing we’ve made it already.”

WANT TO BE POWERFUL? DON’T TRY TO BE YOUR COACH

“W hen you ar e modeling the best, you’ll never be the best. You’ll be second best, after the person you think you need to be.”

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.”  ~ Shannon L. Alder I remember going to seminars and wanting to be like Tony Robbins, Michael Neill and Rich Litvin… I remember thinking that; to be the best you need to model the best!  I was told to model my great leaders; model success, and to do what they do… After all in order to be a POWERFUL coach, you need to model POWERFUL people! I was modeling, copying and doing everything they did…on stage, off stage and anywhere in-between. I realized something… It finally occurred to me… 6

Why the Hell would I want to be somebody else?!  After all, when you are modeling the best, you’ll never be the best. You’ll be SECOND best, after the person you think you need to be. I always wanted to model somebody else. I never thought to model ME. Here I was, not knowing who the hell I was, yet I was trying to figure out somebody else… T h e P r o b l e m w i t h M o d e l i n g :  Every move you make, every word that comes out of your mouth, is a creation in this moment.  When we try to “model” others, we are trying to copy their creation and insights in their moment. It can’t be done. You can copy insights, but all you will do is take away the insights you may have come up with. I just saw a post by Rich Litvin that showed some of the most powerful questions… As I got more comfortable in my skin as a coach, I realized that the questions just showed up for no rhyme or reason. Want to know what my most powerful questions were, when signing two new clients?! Powerful Question #1: HUH? Powerful Question #2: What the Hell are you talking about? Powerful Question #3: Ha Ha Ha…You must be joking?! Yup those are questions that showed up in the moment.

I remember somebody asking Steve Chandler how to approach prospective clients. H i s a n s w e r ?  “What’s up, Dude?” Before you jot this down and think this is a prescription for powerful coaching… I beg you to not follow my lead… throw away my questions. The connection with my clients is deeper than the words. Trust me, modeling me will only have you be a 35 year old, with male pattern baldness… So should I not have a list of questions at my disposal? Is having 100′s of coaching questions by my bedside not going to create comfort and more confidence? Maybe… for me, coaching questions are a good way to start, but the key word is to START. S t a r t w h a t ?  A START to show up as yourself. I took coaching questions, modeling, reading, coaching as a way to transfer and regurgitate what I learned…It was not working. I finally know what Rich was saying when I had my very first coaching conversation. He asked me…”What would you like to CREATE!” Yes CREATE…Not regurgitate, not follow, not rememb e r f r o m y o u r b o o k s .  He said CREATE!

For the very first time, I was alive, fresh and in the moment. My old way of coaching went something like this;  What problems do you have and what answers can I pull up from the back of my head that worked for the author or coach that I read up on or listened to. That’s a scary way to coach… Now I CREATE! After a while, you’ll surprise yourself at what will come out of your mouth. It’s like you’re coaching the other person on autopilot.

You see I hired a coach that works in the moment. I hired a coach that has no fucking idea what they are going to say next. (Yup, just like Rich!) I did not hire a coach for their expertise like I used to in the past. I hired them to remind me to throw all that out and bring just YOU to the table. This gives me just enough of a wakeup call to say, “Oh, they just show up and well…that’s it!”  And, dammit, that’s fucking powerful! Here is my motto for coaching JUST SHOW UP!

It’s crazy to think…I get paid to coach two people in a room, that are going to hear something they have never heard.

B u t h o w ?  T h e r e i s N O h o w .  JUST SHOW UP!

It’s going to be brand new for me and brand new for my client!

When you quiet the intellectual noise, the superficial ego chatter, and “But, just show me how” voice, you’re left with you.

Think about it… How can I tell my clients to strip themselves of everything and be left with who they are, when I have piles of ideas, questions and people I’ve modeled, used as training wheels of my own? How can I tell a person to fly when I’ve got all my coaches, books and seminars behind me as parachutes? Does that mean never to hire a coach or go to s e m i n a r s ? ! T h e o p p o s i t e h o l d s t r u e .  I just hired a coach, again. Does this mean I’m contradicting myself? NO!

YOU! And that’s enough! You are the coaching. You are what makes it amazing. You showing up as you, allows others to show up as them. I think I’ve seen Martin Luther King Blvd. on pretty much every street in every city I’ve visited.  I have yet to see “The Guy That Acted Just like Martin Luther King Blvd” anywhere yet. Don’t be that street… Pave a new one! Many new coaches ask me what I do, how I do it and where to learn what I do… 8

After 20 years of doing this stuff (19 years of N E V E R G E T T I N G P A I D )  The only answer that I can come up with… When you put away every tool you have in your toolbox, and remove your “should say” thoughts, you’re simply sitting with a client in that present moment. It won’t be your words, it won’t be what you know, or how you say it that will make a difference. It’s you being you. And in that space, your client can quietly join you because they’ll finally have permission to be themselves. This is not an intellectual endeavor for me. That doesn’t mean it has to be that way for you. If you say that I’m wrong, and that’s how you show up…great JUST SHOW UP! When I would see my favorite coaches on stage, I saw what I thought was perfection; everything they did was perfect. Watch Rich Litvin for 15 minutes and you’ll swell up with emotion. Try to be Rich Litvin and hilarity will ensue! Sure you can be “deep” but you can’t be Rich Litvin deep…Only Rich can be Rich Deep. (Sounds like a commercial) Ask me how I do it. I’ll stumble and fail because I have no idea. After all, how do you tell somebody to be themselves when they already are? How do you tell somebody that they are already doing it, now if only they knew it! I have read over 1,000 books on Self-Help, as I’m sure many of you can relate. Why aren’t we any more comfor table, more confident?  Why with all the books I’ve read why was I still a confused coach?

The more I read, the more I was scared to go out and coach. I felt like I needed another book. It was like the support belt old people put on their backs. It’s supporting them but at the same time making their back weak. Interestingly enough every book in self help always claims the other person, group and idea is doing it wrong! I agree with them…Matter of fact, I’ll add their book into the wrong category as well. Because a book won’t tell you how to show up anymore than a book can tell you how to love your child, or kiss your parents and squeeze your wife’s hand. I guess a book can, but the doing without the being will feel contrived, and ultimately empty…Like all my years in coaching. For those that bought my book, read it then burn it! Read it to see that I found out the secret sauce is me…burn it if you think my secret sauce will work for you! The answers weren’t in the books – this whole thing is a cosmic joke – it’s what all the great sages are pointing to, but we haven’t listened. Yo u a r e i t !  Y o u a r e t h e c o a c h i n g !  YOU are what’s left when you throw all the “fat” from the past, your ideas and limiting beliefs a w a y .  We keep searching not realizing we’ve made it a l r e a d y .  S o s p e a k f r o m w h e r e y o u a r e !  No matter how much you study, read and learn, you will always end up where you are right now.  So why wait to speak your truth!

Speak your truth from where you are. Yes, it may be messy, wrong or whatever! Your truth and POWER will be your music. Don’t expect to go out and think everyone will want to listen. Some people may not like Rock Music. Keep singing… eventually something you say will resonate…. and it’s in the music that you’ll find your audience.

Amir Karkouti realized that coaching is similar to what he does for his father at least twice a month. Every once in a while, Amir’s father spends at least 10 minutes looking for his glasses. He looks and looks and looks, and I show up and remind him that it’s been on his head the whole time. My job as a coach is to remind you how amazing, brilliant and special you are. At times we can feel like we’ve lost those qualities. I get the pleasure of reminding my clients that they’ve never lost their true idea of themselves and to stop searching for them.

“Love is the only true power that transforms and heals all.”

LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUE POWER

“You ar e such a powerful creator and you can create anything. Get that and you will not only understand power, you will be the essence of power.”

The word power has been so misused and misinterpreted that it took me almost my entire lifetime so far to understand what the word power means. Power is not anger tossed around without care. Power is not control. Power is not bullying. Power is not manipulation. Power is not fighting. Power is not shaming or making others feel guilty. Power is not greed or lust. Power is not people pleasing or playing a “small me” game. Power is not war. POWER IS NOT WAR. Power is not something that is accrued through anything external. Power means something radically different to me. I used to believe that power was aggressive and loud so I acted that out. I watched others exert their power over me and drew my own conclusions as to what powerful was. I was mistaken. It is an essence and a force that emerges from deep within your bones and your soul. It is an intangible presence and space. And in my experience, a space that creates miracles. I see people misusing their power daily. They use manipulation and guilt or anger and aggression to get their way. And what I want to shed some light on right here in this sacred space with 11

you is that power is not something that you do. Power is WHO YOU BE. You are an infinite being who has the right to be free in the Light of Love. You are a Divine Creator who has the capacity to choose love and merge with that love rather than hang out in the fighting, traumas and blaming games. You are a Perfect Soul and you can choose LOVE in any situation and transform it. LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUE POWER THAT TRANSFORMS AND HEALS ALL. When I talk about love, I’m not talking about something fluffy, out there or woo-woo. The LOVE I am referring to has glorious boundaries that uplift humanity. It is the type of LOVE that can stand still in the presence of anything unlike itself. It is the type of LOVE that melts anger and pain. LOVE and only LOVE. When you claim LOVE in your sovereign power, you are saying that anything unlike itself is unable to penetrate your being and therefore must BE Love while in your presence. You have the right to claim this. LOVE will melt disease. LOVE will put a stop to fighting. LOVE will heal broken hearts. And for those who choose to fight rather than LOVE? You Love them too. You remind them that they have the right to merge with Love and that they too can drop these fear and pain games. You can’t make someone change but you can set up a space of LOVE so powerful that the only option is for life to arrange itself according to that Love. I’m going to say that again: YOU CAN SET UP A SPACE OF LOVE SO POWERFUL THAT THE ONLY OPTION IS FOR LOVE TO ARRANGE ITSELF ACCORDING TO THAT LOVE.

You can create the most extraordinary life with this understanding. Once you are free from the bondage to the perceptions of fear, anger, blame and worry, you will be free to create life through the true meaning of LOVE. Love is the one and only essence that creates miracles. I’ve seen it happen one too many times to believe otherwise. Any part of your life that is causing you stress or worry and is not in harmony with what you desire and brings you peace needs more Love. And you can’t send out Love without KNOWING first that YOU ARE LOVE. So the first place to start is with yourself. Where are you not giving yourself love? In what ways are you denying to yourself that you deserve love? In what ways are you dismissing that fact that you are a powerful being who can create anything you want? Because when you own that you can create anything you want, you will have no need to worry ever again. You won’t have drama because it is not in vibrational alignment with love. There will be no lack because love is abundant and overflowing. You are such a powerful creator and you can create anything. Get that and you will not only understand power, you will BE the essence of power. Make a commitment to just be LOVE. Forget about steps to becoming love or ways to express power. Make the commitment to just BE love and everything in your life will line up accordingly. Power is like the silent force of the wind. You don’t have to do or say anything to be in your power. You just have to know how amazing you are and how capable you are of creating your life

and blessing others with your Love. Be still and know who you are. You are Love and LOVE IS POWER. Marilyn Rodriguez is â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Soul Compass Rose Coachâ&#x20AC;? specializing in guiding thought leaders and visionaries to their TRUE purpose. She has shared the virtual stage with Marianne Williamson, Lisa Nichols and Marci Shimoff as well as

other spiritual leaders. A third generation healer, Marilyn discovered her gifts at an early age and continues to transform lives with her gifts. Marilyn is available for one-on-one transformational soul compass rose coaching by application, media interviews and speaking engagements. For more information, contact Marilyn Rodriguez at marilyn@themarilynrodriguez.com or 256-2589357.

“Power isn’t the d e s t i n a t i o n . I t ’s t h e prerequisite for the journey itself.”

THE QUEST IS THE LIE As I stood on the edge of an ancient cave in Sedona, Arizona being prodded on a VIP day with my then coach to yell out “I AM POWERFUL”, it should have been easy.

“Each time I spoke my truth I became more powerful, like a battery being charged. We are naturally powerful beings.”

No one around for miles and miles. No one to hear me claim myself. And I couldn’t physically do it. The words wouldn’t come out. I squeaked. I yelled with my whole lungs behind it and only a whisper came out. Tears streaming down my face and a desperate glance back and my coach and I collapsed inside. I couldn’t go back down that cliff without yelling this, I knew she wasn’t going to let me off that easily. So I pretended. I pretended to yell it out, told myself it wasn’t real. The tears she thought were because of the breakthrough, were actually me feeling like shit because I couldn’t really do it. I couldn’t shout it and believe it. I, Stacy Nelson, was not a powerful person.

I cower from confrontation. I cry, like at everything. I’ve been a victim. I’ve followed people blindly. I am just normal... nothing special and certainly not POWERFUL. So when my current coach constantly called me a powerful mother ****cker, I couldn’t accept it. I kept trying but it didn’t make any sense. Doesn’t he know who I am? I’m the person who fake-yelled. I felt like I was on a mythical quest, sword over my shoulder, quiet serious elf companion at my side, walking miles and miles across various terrain to find the sacred amulet of power. Yes surely SOMETHING would help me claim this power others said I have. I kept questing. I’d see evidence of my power leaking out. I was surrounded by friends who were extremely powerful people who would trust me to advise and support them. If we are indeed the sum of the people we hang out with then something was seriously wrong with my math. They saw it. I didn’t. But perhaps I was getting closer. I would see the sun catch the amulet just right from a distance, enough to remind me of my quest. Then one day the real challenge came and I broke. I was dared to do my coaching calls dressed in a dominatrix costume. Hair pulled back, leather, chains and a whip. BE POWERFUL. I got on Amazon and hoped that no one would look at my purchasing history, knowing inside that

people would find out some how (I still get review requests on the whip... quickest email deletes ever). I felt like I was in that cave again looking over the painted rocks of the desert, crippled by the irrational fear of claiming my power. I cried and shook on my floor. Primal sobbing with the snot and the red eyes. I let it all out... all the times I felt less than, all the times I didn’t speak my truth, all the times that I hid away, literally and figuratively, so I wouldn’t be seen. I felt like that little girl over powered by others. I felt how powerless I made myself feel so I wouldn’t make waves, so people would love and accept me, so I either wasn’t noticed so bad things couldn’t happen to me or how I could pretend to not know the answers so others in more powerful positions than I would feel smart. I’d love to sit here and wrap it all up in a neat little package for you of how I claimed myself right then. And perhaps that was a defining moment. It was the end of an era sitting there letting go. It was the moment I would point to but in truth, it was not a single event that brought about the most direct change, the blow that ended the battle, the last brick to fall. To point to this moment as ‘it’, I’d neglect to express the journey, the trials, the hardships, the battles that I endured internally to make this moment possible. It was my never ending quest to fit in that created my need to pretend that I wasn’t powerful, that I needed someone else to be powerful for me or that I needed someone else to tell me HOW to be powerful.

What really became evident for me in that moment wasn’t that I found my power by reaching the final battle of the epic quest. It’s that the quest itself was bullshit. No one can find something that was never lost. No matter how much I denied myself of the knowledge of my power, it was always there. It didn’t need developing or finding. It didn’t need reclaiming. It was ALWAYS present. The lie was that I had to claim something inside of myself. For I just am. I am a powerful mother ***cker. Nothing to search for. No quest to be made. No work to be done. No costume to be donned (btw I have a perfectly good never used costume for sale if you’re interested....).

the lie. For we cannot be more powerful than our true selves. Power isn’t the destination. It’s the prerequisite for the journey itself. Stacy Nelson is the Founder of iCoach Network, an International circle of life coaches coming together to support and inspire each other on a daily basis. Stacy also publishes this monthly digital magazine for iCoach Network, highlighting the fabulous coaches within the network. Specifically she is a Coach & Trainer helping intuitive entrepreneurs to build their businesses with their hearts and tap into their authentic purpose. This month she has opened up her Year-Long UnTraining mentoring and coaching program for Coaches to build their business & become the great coaches they dream of being. Get more information HERE.

Every single step I took throughout my life accumulated power inside of me and strengthened me. I was becoming more powerful each day without truly recognizing it. I didn’t have to change anything... It was inside and outside of me the whole time. It wasn’t a result, it was a place to come from, a place I already embodied. I had no need to quest. I had no need to strive. Each time I spoke my truth I became more powerful, like a battery being charged. We are naturally powerful beings. NATURALLY POWERFUL. The idea that we need to become more empowered or be something other than who we are is 16

THIS IS POWER

I learned how to blend in with any situation at a young age. Coming from a large, religious family, most of whom were very different from me, I used adaptability as a survival mechanism. Going through life as a “chameleon” felt pretty good- I was the quiet one without much input, morphing when necessary, and generally content. I had many kinds of friends, I lived spontaneously and life worked out alright for me. When I decided to begin coaching, I thought, “Easy, I’ll learn what it takes, and it will all go well for me,” (like many other things had gone in my life). And then it happened. I did what new coaches often do- I became confused, I lost my power, my juice, my secret sauce. I realized the need to really dig down deep to learn about myself, discover “Who is this AmyJo?” for real this time. It was inevitable- I became vulnerable. Luckily, I could easily remember a time in my life in the not so distant past, when I felt completely, utterly myself. Totally free, totally ME. This woman (my empowered Diva-self) was so badass that there was no standing in her way, she was on top of the world. She felt sexy, empowered, smart,

and put together. “What did this mystical ‘pastself’ do that was so different from what I do now?” I asked myself. The answer was obvious. She didn’t care what anyone else thought. She wasn’t playing the part of the chameleon anymore. Aided by the fact that she was now living in a foreign country, far removed from family and friends, she was liberated to choose a life fully expressed, fully herself. With this realization, my new adventure began… The deep soul-diving, the creative explorations, the desires and dreams bigger than myself. I used my boldness every day. I stepped out of my boundaries and lived beyond my edge. I (mostly) stopped caring what others thought about what I chose to do. I donned my fancy clothes to do my grocery shopping and put on red lipstick for no occasion because it was fun. I accepted offers and invitations to participate with life in ways that scared and challenged me. I lived in the present, and opened myself to the inner peace that comes from living entirely as my own self.

What I discovered, and am still uncovering, was self-assuredness. Serene “ME-ness” through and through. Sure, I stumble and get lost along the way, because super-humans-in-training have their own versions of kryptonite too. The most compelling lesson through all of my meanderings in the world was to learn how to look inside and discover that the power I am seeking, the acceptance and love we need for survival, lies within me. And it lies within you. This awareness is why we coach. Here is where we can make a difference in an unpredictable world. This is the peace we have sought. This is power. AmyJo Davies is a Creative Living Guide and founder of The Uncorked Muse and Liberate Your Muse. Her life’s passion is helping people discover and release the untapped creative beauty that is hiding within. AmyJo coaches business executives, artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, parents and students. She also leads

women’s gatherings and creative exploration workshops in the Los Angeles area and through global teleconferences. Coming from a background in fashion/costume design, fashion styling, performance art and brand/business consulting, AmyJo Davies brings a unique and liberating perspective into the coaching realm. Her individual and group programs guide people into accessing and integrating their own creativity and inner wisdom with their logical mind, inviting more fun and whimsy into daily life, business building, and reaching their dreams. To c o n t a c t A m y J o , e m a i l AmyJo@LiberateYourMuse.com or reach out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theamyjodavies

THE POWER OF... T h e P o w e r o f B e i n g  To me, Power seems to be two things at the same time. The first is the Power of just being me, not from doing anything, just being. Because I am. Period.

”Power has been known to be the ability to influence or control the behaviour of other people. Power is often expressed upward or downward and resembles influence.” I don’t remember where I read this, but it struck me: we have a tendency to relate power to something else. Over the years, I have been learning the Power of YES, the Power of NO, the Power of taking action, the Power of being patient. I have learned the Power of vulnerability, the Power of listening and the Power of speaking. I have practised the Power of meditation, the Power of laughter, the Power of my core values and the Power of I AM. What I have come to realize over all these years, is that my power lies in the power of what my inner force is at any given time, and it shows up in how I impact my own circumstances and it shows in my meetings with other people. I have come to love the Power of NOW. The Power of HERE. And the Power of just being in my own Power, HERE and NOW.

We are made by the same stuff as the stars and everything around us. We are made of the very stuff that formed the Universe, so we ARE indeed the Universe. This gives us the Power of just being. We were born complete and ready to perform anything we were meant to. We do not have to grow. We don’t have to ”be spiritual”. We are spiritual and everything else we need to be. It is our Universal gifts and rights. The only thing we have to do, is to remember who we truly are, and live it. T h e P o w e r o f P u r p o s e  When we align with our purpose, we don’t need to control other people. The second type of Power, is the Power of what we are capable of doing. We were born with certain gifts and talents to make it easier for us to do what we need to do to live the life we want to live. Those gifts and talents are programmed into us, and broken by limiting beliefs and other peoples’ voices. It’s our duty to elimiate them and find our true selves. We do that by rediscovering our gifts and talents, and mature them into the grownups we are today. Everybody knows Marianne Williamsons’ quote: You are powerful beyond measure. We can use that power to live the life we love. We can use it to create the business of our dreams. A wise woman once said to me: ”If there is something you want to do in life that feels more important 19

than breathing, you have a talent for it. So go on and do it, and then do it again. Become really good at it, and you won’t have to wonder where your power lies and what your life purpose is.” Jamie Siv works together with her clients on realizing their life purpose by finding their gifts and talents. She uses the powerful tool of Archetypes, which, in a high vibration, contain all the gifts and talents that added up, point at the life purpose. Her webpage and Facebook pages are in Norwegian, however, Google is your friend, so Google translate anything you want to know. The sites will be in English before the summer.  h t t p : / / j a t i l m e g . n o  https://www.facebook.com/jatilmeg.no

WHAT IS POWER?

Power… What is it? Really. Where does the experience of power come from and what happens when we listen to it? What h a p p e n s w h e n w e d o n ’ t ?  I’m sure many of us have heard the phrase “step into your power.” Can we really step into it? Power in the sense of describing someone is descriptive and as such is subjective. For the purpose of this discussion I am going to suggest that your power is your ability to make a difference and have an impact in your world. In the last few months of my I.T. career, previous to coaching full time, I was sitting on some substantial savings that would enable me to get my coaching career off the ground without being concerned about any financial constraints. Whilst I had made the decision to quit I.T. many months previous, those last few months turned out to be some of the most enjoyable in my career.

I was often described as a ‘powerhouse’ (a term used in my exit interview) with a formidable reputation for just getting things done. Yet I don’t recall ever being concerned with my own power or questioning if I was ‘powerful enough’. Looking back I see I was always very relaxed about that whole career ladder thing and harbored no fears around where my career might go. In those last few months I was truly fearless and unconcerned with others opinions of me. I don’t think I was even concerned with my own opinion of me, and that, apparently, seemed to make me a more powerful leader. I can see how I have taken this supposed power into my coaching. Yes, it took a little while to find my own feet; I did that by stepping out of the comparison game and no longer questioning my own ability as a coach. I just show up as me, without my noise. Sure, sometimes we don’t FEEL particularly powerful; other times we can conquer the world and

even the opinion of the water-cooler guy in the office. Sometimes I feel sad but that doesn’t make me a ‘sad person.’ The same is true of whether we feel powerful or not. If I’m always checking my ‘power-thermometer’ before I take action I’ll probably end up taking no action. A lot of the discussion around power simply adds another layer of definition to us that does not serve us. The more we define, the more we confine. So what if you don’t always feel powerful? You are who you are. When we let go of these definitions we find ourselves being much more of our authentic selves, much more often, because we are not trying to be anything else. We only relinquish this supposed power when we are concerned with the opinion of others, and especially when we listen to the opinion of that water-cooler guy who hangs out in our heads. You know who I mean. We’ve all seen that guy in the office who hangs out by the water-cooler and has an opinion about EVERYTHING! Most of the time we simply ignore him and at most we occasionally humor him. And we can do the same to the water-cooler guy in our heads. The only time we don’t feel powerful is when we are questioning ourselves, usually as a result of listening to someone else’s opinion, but most often by listening to our own. Yet all of that is just noise. Noise in your head questioning who you are, who you are supposed to be, what and how you are supposed to do and be, why you should or shouldn’t be or do what

you or the water-cooler guy thinks you really shouldn’t be, do or pray to be. Noise that keeps you from being who you are and connected to all there is. All. Just. Noise. When I am myself, without my noise, without opinion, I am my own free self-expression of myself and my connection to the greater power to which we are all always connected. By simply being me I am embracing and encompassing all that I am and all that there is, and all power that there is. There is no separation. I am the power to which you and I, and everything is connected. I don’t step into my power. It flows through me in the form of loving energy that changes lives and changes the world. What is the big deal about power anyway? I mean, really, what is the big deal? Being powerful is really about being you and embracing you as part of the universe. When you drop the noise and allow yourself to simply be you, truly you, connected to all that connects us together, you have the power of the universe within you. No ‘steps’ required. No big deal. Phil Goddard coaches whilst traveling around Europe and the US. He is living his life’s purpose, the expansion of love and happiness, and helps people connect deeply with themselves and their capacity to be in love with life. In doing so his clients create a life of effortless passion g u i d e d b y t r u e i n n e r w i s d o m . http://www.philg.com/

THE MASTERY OF POWER

When you seek outside of yourself, you hinder the most authentic part of your own brilliance. Deep inside, there is a part of me, a part of YOU that knows the truth, that power lies within. You’ve heard it before and it resonates for a reason. As a coach myself, you might be under the false impression that I have all of the answers on mastering, accessing and unleashing my full potential. I have yet to unleash such mastery. I vacillate somewhere between recognizing my own ability to tap into my Divine Power and thinking that I’m too insignificant to fully access it. The perfect message, loyal followers, a large stage, perfect marketing content, fear of failure, jealousy, expectations (from myself and others), all thoughts I’ve allowed to take up residence in my mind, holding me back from accessing the power I have to transform lives. Do you do this, too, hold yourself back from being more powerful, caught up in thinking that you have to be more than who you already are? Do you compare yourself to greats who have came before you, wondering, “Who am I to access the same power Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra, and Marianne Williamson have demonstrated?” Darling, you are not meant to display your power in the same way that you have seen others share theirs. Comparing yourself to someone else detracts from your power.

“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.” Marianne Williamson (excerpt from A Return to Love) “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” Henry Ford “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Napoleon Hill “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in a drop” Rumi The power is not outside of you. YOU have the power to transform the world. Your power lies within. There is something RIGHT now that you want to do, but you’re still under the false impression that you cannot, that it is beyond you’re realm of possibility. Allow that goal to surface in your mind. Visualize it, see it as a part of your current reality. Most importantly, feel it, as if it already exists. Feel what happens in your body as you connect with the emotion, thoughts and experiences of welcoming your new reality. THIS is what you’re capable of, transforming 23

your experience, the way you feel and ultimately the way you show up in the world. Who are you when you’ve connected with this new feeling? Who are you showing up as? How does this change the way you are BEING? Let me be clear here, the large list, BIG stage, or exploding waiting list is NOT what you are seeking. What you’re seeking is the experience, the end result of what you’ll feel once you’ve acquired the success of reaching that moment.

for yourself, in this moment, JUST AS YOU ARE, because you have the power to do so. Star Staubach; Chief Transformation Strategist and founder of Ignite Radiance world traveler, rugby player, passionately chasing harmony, Mommy to Gunther, Zariah and Meadow. Star helps you create magic so that you can connect with your sweet spot in life and business.

When you’re clear about what it is that you’re seeking, you start to discover ways to create it

THE SUPER POWER OF A MEAN GIRL

I am sorry to say….

I became a really nice person. I deepened in my capacity for love and compassion. I grew up and left my Mean Girl in the dust. ALL GOOD, right?……. Not really.

I used to be a Mean Girl…… Wait….Talk about giving away my power right out of the gate. The truth is I’m not sorry….. Let’s start over… I used to be a Mean Girl. You know the one. The girl with apparent unlimited self-confidence. The one who can spot someone’s weakness in a nano-second, reach in and grab hold of it…… tightly……taking pleasure in watching my victim twist in the wind. Snickering satisfaction over someone’s tears. Yeah…..that was me in junior high. There are many layers to owning my bully mentality. I’m not proud of it. I spent most of the last 30 years denying that I was ever THAT girl. I pretended that it wasn’t “that bad”. I wasn’t “that mean”.

I was a Mean Girl. I was also fearless. I spoke my truth. I didn’t need to “find my voice”. I owned it. I was deeply connected to my intuition and had laser beam perception. I could swiftly and effortlessly pinpoint exactly where someone was giving up their power. I was also misguided, scared and lonely. I didn’t know exactly where I fit in the world or how to BE my big bad authentic self. So at 13 years old, and with the mentoring of an amazing teacher, I recreated myself into something much more socially acceptable. …And I gave away my SUPER POWERS in the process. More than 30 years later, I once again recreated myself. I left Corporate America and became an empowerment coach. My ability to see where people dis-empower themselves was still sharp, but I was afraid to “call it like I see it.” I found myself playing it safe and candy coating my truth. I 25

held back out of fear. I could hear my 12-year-old in my head: “It’s not nice to speak your truth.” “Fearless is lonely.” “Don’t say that….they won’t like it……they won’t like you.”

Authenticity, Vulnerability, Empower ment  O n e D a i l y S h i f t a t a t i m e .  I p r a c t i c e i t .  I coach it.

With the help of my own coach and an amazing leadership circle, I began to see that I was failing my clients by not bringing ALL of my power to the relationship. I had thrown the super-poweredbaby out with the Mean-Girl-bath-water.

I am the coach who works with powerful, courageous go-getters who are ready to have the Created Life of their Dreams.

I began to reintegrate my Mean Girl in the most unlikely of places. I was in Liberia earlier this year, speaking at an empowerment event for local educators. I wanted to be inspirational. I wanted to deliver a speech that would change someone’s life. I knew I had to dig deep and tell the story that I never wanted to tell. I reluctantly chose to share my story about the teacher who got my attention and motivated me to change my Mean Girl ways. Civil unrest, Malaria and Ebola seemed minor compared to staring my Mean Girl in the face and outing her on stage. I had been denying and suppressing that part of me for a very long time. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It changed everything.

I am your trusted advisor. The opposite of a “yesman”. I am fiercely candid and unwaveringly loyal. I am not an expert in your chosen field. I am an expert at slowing down and asking tough questions. I am the excavator of your heart’s desires and dreams. I am an expert at seeing the subtle yet significant ways you have given up your power………and we work together to reclaim it. It is a custom journey from start to finish; collaboratively designed specifically to support you in t a k i n g t h a t n e x t B I G L E A P. http://www.myDailyShift.com

Today, I have a clear agreement with everyone I work with. I will speak my unfiltered truth especially when it is hard. I am direct. I am the one person who is not afraid to call it like I see it. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes I get it wrong. I often get scared and feel myself wanting to hold back. But I don’t ~ because I know that if I hold back, I am not only giving up my power, but I am denying my client the opportunity to claim their own.

EMBRACE YOUR POWER

The topic of power has come up a lot for me in recent months. And truth be told, I used to shy away from it. Not when I encouraged my clients to embrace or claim their own power, but for myself. And it ultimately made me less effective with them. Why would I have so much trouble in this area? The idea of embracing my own power scared me a bit because deep down I knew what was required and I was afraid to go there. How could I embrace my power and shine a light for others to live their truth fully and remain credible? For me, it comes down to integration of my whole being, and the idea of being in alignment – heart, mind, body. So that sounds pretty straightforward, right? And where’s the fear in that? The fear comes in when it became clear that I would need to change how I was operating on a day to day basis, that integration would require me to acknowledge and bring in all of my strengths. This might seem like a strange stumbling block, but for me it had become a pattern to deny parts of myself depending on what endeavors or tasks were in front of me. I used to think I needed to keep everything separate – that I would lose

power by merging everything. That I would dilute my strength with my renaissance woman tendencies. We’ve all heard the saying, “jack of all trades and master of none.”And that scared me. I excel at a lot of things. I am a coach, I am extremely creative, I am a vocalist and musician, I am a writer, I am a mother and a wife, a fierce friend. If I show all of this – if I incorporate it all into my being and don’t keep it compartmentalized then where is my focus? Where is my credibility? Where is my power? Here’s what I’ve learned and what I have been able to transfer to my work with clients: when I embrace and integrate the power of all that I am, I am multi-strength, not diluted. I become a walking billboard for all that I want to achieve with my coaching and really with my life: joy, transformation and ease. When I acknowledge that renaissance woman and all of her strengths – without apology – I can create just about anything I want in my life, and I can help my clients create what they need and want as well. Sometimes, I still listen too much to the chatter – that I need to choose just one thing on which to focus. That’s when I become diluted, a half-self not nearly as effective at helping people achieve their visions. And that’s not what I want. I want 27 the boldness of that full, undiluted power to help

usher in the next phase of my life and business to a place of possibility and potential. Heather Doyle Fraser is a Transformational Life Coach and founder/owner of Beyond Change, LLC. She is also a writer, editor, musician and general creative. As a coach, Heather works with highly intuitive and successful people who are looking to take their lives to the next level. Her mission is to bring joy, transformation, ease, and abundance to everyone she touches. Heather helps her clients see possibility, potential, and opportunity; she helps her clients create lasting transformation in their perception and perspective â&#x20AC;&#x201D;how they view life and their place in it. She holds the space for her clients as they move to-

ward and acknowledge their inherent greatness while achieving their goals and vision for an extraordinary life. Heatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purpose and passion is to inspire joy and transformation and give people the knowledge, skills, and strategies to live their most authentic and fulfilled lives. If you would like to learn more about coaching or contact Heather, please visit her website atwww.beyondchangecoach.com or connect with her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/beyondchangecoach or Twitter @hdoylefraser.

WHO HOLDS THE POWER IN YOUR LIFE?

In my twenties, I thought life totally sucked. I had a job and friends and money coming in and going out and a great social life…but my overriding sentiment was “Is this IT?” Surely there was more to life than living for the weekend and sleepwalking through life. Surely there was more to life than ticking items off a list – job, house, husband, children, nice cars and appliances…all things that were supposed to make me happy. Only they didn’t seem to be making anyone else happy – I knew many people who ticked every box and were miserable.

life everyone else lived, and I just had to comply because ‘that’s the way life is’. Fortunately, my soul wouldn’t accept that version of the story and encouraged me to take the power into my own hands, to make my own decisions, to do things that made no logical sense to anyone but me, to swim against the stream.

And I couldn’t understand why they weren’t bouncing off the walls of this ‘life in a box’ we were all supposed to have. I was screaming inside, getting more and more horrified at the idea that this would be my life for the next 40 years.

It wasn’t hard to take the reins of my own life…after all, no one had taken them from me, I had given my power away. But once I had the reins, taking charge of my own life was difficult. I’d never really done it before – I’d done what I was expected to by the world (except for a few occasions when I rebelled and left situations without any backup plan or buggered off on holiday instead of sorting out my university place). So it was all new to me, and I could see the temptation of giving my power back.

But I couldn’t change it, I was powerless. Because other people held the power in my life. I lived the life I was expected to live. The life I saw modeled for me by most of my peers. The

It would be ‘easier’ to live the life expected of me…only my soul would still be dying, I would still be bouncing off the walls…so maybe ‘easier’ isn’t the right word. Yes, it’s tough to take charge 29

of your life, but it’s so much harder to be trapped in a life that stifles your spirit and crushes your heart. So who holds the power in your life? Who do you give your power away to? Who do you blame for what’s not right? Have you abdicated from the role of Monarch of your own life? Or are you, like me, hanging on for dear life to the reins while you gallop forward towards the life you truly, deeply, madly want? It’s your choice whether to take charge or live in the

box…but if you’re bouncing off the walls, maybe it’s time to take back your power?

Donna, better known as “Donnaonthebeach” helps women who KNOW there is more to life to fall in love with their lives, and make their Dreams a Reality along the way. In September she released her new book “Fall In Love With Life” – to find out more about her, her writing, and the next project she’ll be diving into, go to http://www.donnaonthebeach.com

HOW I MADE PEACE WITH MY LOVE OF POWER…

I love powerful careers, I love powerful men, I love powerful music, I love powerful reading, I have a powerful leadership style, I have power in every personality profile that I have ever done. Power has always been a negative word to me. Power has always had a derogatory tone. I have never appreciated being told that I was powerful; in fact I cowered when I heard those words. I never really embraced the concept of having and owning my power. This has always been a paradox because I was always drawn towards power. However, I never felt good about being drawn towards the power, for me it was somehow the same as being called materialistic or egotistical which are words that have a negative meaning for me. As I started down a spiritual path, and I started reflecting and getting to know myself more, I came to see that power was something that was a positive force.

Power was born from my positive thinking and my ability to heal my body and heal my mind. Power was what was behind me achieving the goals of running a ½ marathon and creating a thriving business and power is the way that divine energy works through me. So I made my peace with power and power is now my friend. Power is one of my divine gifts to the world. I now use my power to rekindle the power in others. When I think about it as a means of helping people and that power can be a catalyst for change, it allows me to be much more comfortable with the word. I have really changed the way that I view the word from the inside. Today I embrace my power and include it in how I deliver on my purpose. It is no longer a word that makes me cower… it is now that I word that makes me feel self-empowered and productive in the world.

Power was in my optimism, power was in my resilience.

Randi is an Executive and Team Coach with an extensive corporate background. She began her career as a Certified Management Accountant and worked in the corporate world as a senior leader and business partner. Her natural ability to exploit the strengths of individuals and teams coupled with her desire to help leaders perform at their maximum potential launched her into a new leadership role of coaching leaders and their teams to create Life, Leadership and Relationship strategies to optimize their energy and performance.

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