How to Have
A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP By Amina Moustapha
Any living and breathing entity needs to be fed and nourished if it is to stay robust, same thing applies to relationships. Old or new, relationships need constant nutrients to grow; otherwise they would suffer and might as well die. So what are the sources of nutrients to a relationship? How can a relationship maintain life and better yet grow? The substance that provides nourishment to a relationship is emotions; they carry the heaviest load on establishing and promoting a relationship. But here comes another question, is all we want for our relationships to stay alive? I don’t think that’s true, or at least it is not right or the best option on the table. What’s wrong with aiming for an alive and also healthy relationship? So now we are not only on the hunt for nutrients, we are seeking to find the healthiest diet, and the keyword of our recipe is good deeds. In order to have a healthy relationship, you need to serve good deeds to your significant other and receive ones from them. Let’s get into the details of how to do that. EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE TO THEM The science of thankfulness is a growing field that is starting to show; the benefits of cultivating an attitude of gratitude are very real. This emotion of gratitude promotes good physical health and renders a relationship stronger. Dr. P. Murali Doraiswamy, head of the division of biologic psychology at Duke University Medical Center said: “If thankfulness were a drug, it would be the world’s bestselling product with a health maintenance indication for every major organ system.” Yet we often neglect this important emotion of thankfulness. Give voice to gratefulness in your relationship; make it as loud as you manage, notice the small things your partner does for you and never take them for granted. 42 March 2020
BE EMOTIONALLY GENEROUS Emotional generosity is a singular coalition of empathy and the readiness to feel what another person is going through and relate to them that you understand; it is the choice to set aside your own needs for someone else. Get rid of those chains that are locking your emotions and spend them with free-handedness. Don’t hold back your love, what use could your love be if you didn’t share it? Wrap your heart around the person you love. In their time of need, make them feel that what they are going through is the most important thing in the world for you. Make them feel your care and your concern deep down. ENCOURAGE GROWTH & CHANGE Your relationship should be your support system, your bank that provides practical or emotional support, and you should give that in return. If that isn’t the case, then there is something that needs to be repaired. In a healthy relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. There is only one life to live and if you want your partner to stay the same, then let me break the news for you, you are going to have a very dull life. But on the other side, if you explore life to its fullness, encourage your partner to try something new, to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people, to accept change, then just as you let growth in your life, your relationship will grow stronger. DON’T FIX THEM, ACCEPT THEM One of the strongest and most common toxic foods to any relationship is the desire to change the person you love. Nobody is perfect, no one is flawless. It is hard to accept this reality, especially when we are talking about your significant other. You want them to be perfect, but people come with baggage. You have some, and so does your partner. Don’t let this fact make you feel stuck. Break through it, learn to take a detour and deal with it. Trying to fix someone would probably
