Apr. 11, 2012

An Indiana Daily Student Publication

THE SECRETS OF: HAPPINESS NICK’S BIZ FRIES @THEBIGHANDSOME

photography: Matt James

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THE SECRETS ISSUE VOLUME 6, ISSUE 4, TABLE OF CONTENTS

APRIL 10, 2012

Secrets you will learn after reading this issue

In our four (or more) years in Bloomington, we keep plenty of secrets.

Whether they’re serious or silly, they’re ours, and that’s why they matter.

Whether it’s appreciating your favorite B-town foods or discovering your own secret to happiness, we hope this issue gives you something new to think about.

My secret? This magazine wouldn’t be possible without an amazing team of writers, editors, photographers, and designers. This is my last issue as editor, and I’m sad to see this year end. I hope you all enjoyed reading Inside as much as we enjoyed creating it.

ONLINE ONLY AT IDSNEWS.COM/INSIDE Read about how some of IU’s most popular myths got started by tour guides and check out more confessions about our online lives.

Cover photo by Chaz Mottinger.

Special thanks to Patricia Millard.

That creepy room below Dunn Meadow Café in the IMU basement used to be a rifle range.

4

That camel you think you imagine seeing when you’re driving down SR 46? He’s real, and his name is King James.

10 The secret spices that make Nick’s Sink the Biz fries so addictive can be found in your own kitchen.

5 Harry Potter fans, rejoice — an IU professor is working on creating his own philosopher’s stone.

21 The guys who run the fake Cody Zeller and Tom Pritchard Twitter accounts are just as funny in real life as they are online.

6 You’re lucky your hairstylist or therapist isn’t a blabbermouth, because they have a lot of dirt on you.

FEATURES

8 Your Xanga and Myspace are still floating through cyberspace, one Google search away.

SE

REC

Inside magazine, the newest enterprise of the Office of Student Media, Indiana University at Bloomington, is published twice an academic semester: October and November, and February and April. Inside magazine operates as a self-supporting enterprise within the broader scope of the Indiana Daily Student. Inside magazine operates as a designated public forum, and reader comments and contribution are welcome. Normally, the Inside magazine editor will be responsible for final content decisions, with the IDS editor-in-chief involved in rare instances.

All editorial and advertising content is subject to our policies, rates, and procedures.

Readers are entitled to a single copy of this magazine. The taking of multiple copies of this publication may constitute as theft of property and is subject to prosecution.

LE

www.idsnews.com/inside

YC

VOL. 6, ISSUE 4

PLEA

FROM THE EDITOR

9

DEPARTMENTS

16

Kristen Haubold never wears shoes just because it’s “more comfortable.”

Patricia Millard, theater major and Inside cover model

12 Secrets to Happiness Happiness can be anything from race cars to kittens to seeing the people you love happy.

INSIDE MAGAZINE STAFF

EDITORIAL ASSISTANTS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stephanie Doctrow

Kamilla Benko, Christine Spasoff, and

ART DIRECTOR Biz Carson

Hannah Waltz

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR Danielle Rindler PHOTO EDITOR Chaz Mottinger

ASSOCIATE EDITOR MaryJane Slaby MARKETING MANAGERS Brittany Miller and Carly Garber

COPY EDITOR Lauren Sedam

IU STUDENT MEDIA DIRECTOR

WEB EDITOR Chrissy Ashack

Ron Johnson

WEB ASSISTANT Melinda Elston FEATURES EDITOR Alyssa Goldman FEATURES ASSISTANT Jessica Contrera DEPARTMENTS EDITORS Marc Fishman

NEWSROOM 812-855-0760 BUSINESS OFFICE 812-855-0763 FAX 812-855-8009

INDIANA DAILY STUDENT

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Zach Ammerman MANAGING EDITORS Jake New and Bailey Loosemore ART DIRECTOR Jayne Flax WEB TECH SPECIALISTS Greg Blanton, Swathi Gurram, Vaibhav Nachankar, Anand Hegde, and Divya Dwarakanath ADVERTISING SALES MANAGERS Tim Beekman and Caity McNicholas MARKETING

WEB

DEVELOPER

Ashlee Trainer

and Michela Tindera DEPARTMENTS ASSISTANT Caitlin Peterkin

www.idsnews.com/inside 3

CONFESSIONS

TIP JAR

BETTER YOU

KNOW-IT-ALL

ESSAY

Rena Kirk kisses her camel, King James, at her farm off State Road 46, 20 minutes east of campus.

KING JAMES IN THE MIDWEST Local resident Rena Kirk talks about raising 30 animals, including a 1,000 pound camel, in southern Indiana

I

t’s one of the secrets of State Road 46. Rena Kirk, 58, says cars will come to a complete stop as they drive by to gawk at her baby. Of course, her “baby” is about 1,000 pounds and is usually found in the desert. Ten years ago, Kirk brought a three-day-old baby camel back to her 14-acre family farm, which is about a 20-minute drive from campus. She named her little guy King James.

Where do you buy a camel in the Midwest?

I found a camel guy in Michigan, and he had a few babies so I went to go pick him up. He was all legs. I bottle fed him five times a day for five-and-a-half months. I found a circus trainer in Peru, Ind., who helped me train King James. He can lie down, crawl, stand on a pedestal and he used to be able to stand on a teeter totter. I also ride him sometimes.

Do you have any other animals besides King James?

Right now, there’s about 30 animals on the farm.

4 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

BY KAMILLA BENKO | PHOTO BY CHAZ MOTTINGER

Fifteen sheep, two angora goats, two miniature horses, three donkeys, three ponies, an Irish wolfhound, a turkey, rooster, two golden pheasants, several peacocks, a macaw, llama, and an emu named Kramer.

How do you afford all these animals?

They support themselves. I take them to schools and festivals, and we do pony rides. We sell the wool from the sheep. And King James is the star of live nativities in Bloomington. He’s completely booked the month of December.

As the only camel, does he get ever get lonely?

King James is really sociable. Since camels don’t have thick eyelids, I have to keep him out of places where trees and stuff could poke him. But every now and then, I let him roam with the other animals, and he comes back all feisty, begging to stay with his friends.

But the sheep hang out with him, and he will be neck to neck with the horses on the other side of the fence.

When I think of camels, I usually think of hot, sandy places. How does King James handle the Bloomington climate?

Camels are very hardy. The desert is hot in the day, but it gets very cold there at night. The only time I bring him in is if it’s slushy snow or ice. But when it’s drier out, he doesn’t really care what the temperature is. He’d rather be outside than inside.

And you named him King James. Why did you chose that name?

I just knew he’d grow up to be worthy of that name.

I feel the Lord has blessed me to have stewardship over these animals and a passion for them that has helped me endure for years on what is more or less a ski slope, 365 days a year for 20 years. I haven’t had a vacation in all that time. They are my babies.

involve in modern terms because he uses code names for chemical substances.

So why was Newton so secretive about his chemical processes? Why did he need to code everything?

It’s clear that by the time Newton was working on alchemy, the subject had begun to fall into a sort of disrepute. There were also stories about alchemists being persecuted by various rulers who wanted to extract those secrets from them. Alchemy promised great power over nature if you discovered the philosopher’s stone.

Alchemy is known as a pseudoscience today. Was that the case when Newton was experimenting?

The modern concept of alchemy as a pseudoscience was not the idea back in the 17th Century. They typically didn’t distinguish between alchemy and chemistry. I like to think of it in the way that scientists nowadays write grant proposals.

LOOKING FOR THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE

What has been the hardest part about recreating Newton’s experiments?

The hardest part by far is figuring out exactly what he’s doing and what’s the relationship between his reading notes and the laboratory notebooks. It’s quite clear that he’s interpreting texts and trying to see if their processes actually work.

BY CHRISTINE SPASOFF PHOTO BY CHAZ MOTTINGER

user immortal. No wonder he had to be so secretive.

Harry Potter’s quest for the sorcerer’s stone might not be so far from reality. Deep in a laboratory at IU, history and philosophy professor William Newman is replicating Isaac Newton’s secret alchemical attempt to discover the philosopher’s stone. Newton believed this substance could turn any metal into gold and make the

Can you explain the work you’ve done recreating Newton’s experiments?

Newton kept laboratory notebooks that extend through about 30 years, and in them are recorded a huge number of experiments having to do with alchemy. It’s not always easy to figure out what the processes actually

What do you find most interesting about Newton?

One of the things that is interesting is the fact that Newton does alchemy for about 30 years and then he goes and becomes the master of the mint, and it is a bit incongruous to think that this guy is put in charge of the currency of England. Beyond that, this guy is one of the supreme intellects of all time and made absolutely brilliant scientific discoveries.

ART IS EVERYWHERE THIS APRIL! Everyone, Everywhere.

This April, be a part of a month-long celebration of the arts in Bloomington.

For more information and a full schedule: ARTSWEEK.INDIANA.EDU

@iuartsweek

facebook.com/ArtsWeek

artsweek.tumblr.com

CONFESSIONS

BETTER YOU

KNOW-IT-ALL

TIP JAR

ESSAY

Priest.

Therapist.

Hairdresser.

Meet the secret keepers

T

ake a seat – on the leather couch, in the quiet office, or the swivel chair in front of a row of mirrors or the chair beside a screen – and spill it. Every day, people enter the confidence of mere acquaintances to share their most private moments.

And every day, people hear these secrets and listen. A local therapist, hairstylist, and priest share what it’s like to hear secrets as part of their jobs.

PHOTOS BY CHAZ MOTTINGER

6 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

The man on the other side of the confessional

BY MICHELA TINDERA

Two minutes. Maybe five, if he’s lucky.

That’s all the time Father Cassian Samas has to provide spiritual advice and penance for parishioners participating in the sacrament of reconciliation at St. Paul Catholic Center.

Since he joined the parish in June 2011, Samas has been leading reconciliations once a week on Saturdays as well as any time a parishioner calls to set up a meeting.

Samas listens to the secrets of anyone who comes his way. They might sit in the church’s confessional booth or simply in two chairs placed across from one another.

“People come in with loads of stuff and leave weightless,” he says. “It’s such a humbling experience to see people’s desire to be good.”

Samas says he often keeps a box of tissues at his side during reconciliation.

Samas says he has noticed an increase in the number of people who come to confession each week. From the time he joined the parish, the number of people on a given Saturday has grown from two or three people each week to 12 to 20.

“Psychologists don’t have the power to forgive sins, and a priest is free of charge.”

Priests cannot repeat anything a penitent tells them. It’s known as the Seal of Confession.

If they do, they are excommunicated from the

church, and only the Pope has the ability to absolve that. This means if a penitent shares something about a criminal offense, the priest cannot divulge that information to anyone, though he may encourage the penitent to turn him or herself in or provide necessary evidence.

In the same way, priests are not allowed to bring up what was said during a confession to the parishioner at a later time. The priest must be granted permission by that penitent or else the confession will never be mentioned again.

“A good confessor is someone who is able to listen well and ask the right questions in a short span of time,” Samas says.

Because he is a recently ordained priest and is new to the parish, he says he was nervous at first for how he would handle hearing others’ most personal confessions. “That was my concern,” he says. “But it doesn’t affect me at all. It’s like God gives me the strength to do so.” Samas says not every confession is so easy to forget, though.

“Sometimes I just can’t forget. And that’s when I know God wants me to remember to pray for them.”

If a priest is at a loss for advice to give, Samas says he may ask a more experienced priest for advice so long as he does not reveal the confessor’s name and is more general about explaining the situation.

Despite the burdens that reconciliation can bring, Samas says it’s one of his favorite sacraments to perform. “You see a side of humanity you would otherwise never see. When you give absolution, you see the sigh of relief.”

WE KNOW YOUR SECRETS. OR AT LEAST, THE SCIENCE BEHIND THEM.

The scissors go up and the secrets spill out

BY JESSICA CONTRERA

With the possible exceptions of the Dalai Lama and the Dos Equis man, we’re pretty sure everyone has secrets. We gossip about those of others and hide our own from all but precisely chosen confidants. They cause breakups, fights, and political scandals.

BY CHRISSY ASHACK

Senior Beth Morken, a Fort Wayne native, has been a stylist for five years and has heard plenty of personal information from clients.

“I can think of times when people just all of a sudden tell me their background and how they got in trouble,” Morken says. “The things that they did, like, ‘Oh, I smoked this much weed and got this STD at a party.’”

The general studies major also knows that some things aren’t meant to be shared. Morken says she tries to put herself in her clients’ shoes and think about how it would feel if someone else started talking about her personal life.

“You don’t want your client to think you’re a blabbermouth,” Morken says.

Morken says she usually keeps the stories people tell to herself, but if it’s something funny she might bring it up in conversation with her friends. But with more serious information, she says something comforting and leaves it at that.

Because she has seen so many clients through the years, Morken says she’s learned to look at someone and know what kind of person they are and how quickly they will share information.

“You know what kind of conversations they are

So how do they really work? With the help of social psychologists Ashley Waggonner Denton, from IU, and Anita Kelly, author of “Psychology of Secrets,” let’s explore the secrets behind secrets.

willing to have and what they want and what they expect out of the whole experience,” Morken says.

“Right off the bat I can tell if this is someone I can talk with and they will be telling me things or if this is someone that has to warm up to me for a while.”

Morken considers herself a secret keeper, and says she feels an obligation as a professional stylist to not go around saying “he said, she said.”

“I just keep it a secret, shut my mouth, and whatever they want to tell me, they tell me.”

WHY DO WE KEEP SECRETS? As humans, we have a fundamental motivation to want to belong to a group or community, according to Kelly’s book.

Often, we fear others disapprove of our secrets. This leads to the common feeling of embarrassment usually associated with secrets.

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST SECRET? Sex (we’re not surprised, either).

Research shows that sexual secrets like experimenting with sexual acts, desire for a sexual relationship, and even rape are the most commonly held secrets. This is even more true for college students.

Other common secrets are illegal behavior, personal feelings of inadequacy, and traumatic experiences.

All part of the job for this professional secret keeper

BY CHRISSY ASHACK

This is what they are trained to do — listen to people’s secrets.

Nancy Stockton, director of Counseling and Psychological Services and a therapist for more than 30 years, says keeping secrets isn’t hard — it’s just part of the ethics and confidentiality that go

along with the profession.

But there is some information therapists are legally obligated to tell. They are supposed to preserve human life, so suicide or intent to kill someone else are examples of information that needs to be shared.

Stockton admits keeping their clients’ secrets can put some pressure on therapists. But she says therapists can share information with colleagues within CAPS if they need advice on treating someone.

However, Stockton says the idea that therapists sometimes seek therapy themselves because of the pressures of their job is false.

“It’s not uncommon, but not because of the stres,” Stockton says. “It’s because they have their own problems.”

CAPS helps train resident assistants, says Stockton, because they could possibly be in a situation where they have to help someone who is suicidal. In those situations, therapists say not to engage in secret keeping.

Though there is information that shouldn’t be kept secret, Stockton says, “it’s part of human nature not to reveal.”

WHY ARE SECRETS SO HARD TO KEEP? In a way, our brains reject suppression of information.

“If you ask someone not to think about or talk about something, it’s natural that you will have a very hard time not thinking about it,” says Denton, a Ph.D. candidate in social psychology who teaches L225: In-depth Look at Gossip and Rumor.

WHY DO WE REVEAL SECRETS? It all comes back to our instinct to bond with a group.

“When you tell someone something that is supposed to be kept in confidence, you’re saying, ‘I trust you with this information,’” Denton says.

Denton says we reveal things about other people a lot more often than we think — but that doesn’t mean it’s all negative.

“Gossip is the main way we learn personal things about other people,” she says. “You wouldn’t directly ask people how much money they make or who they’ve slept with, but we learn that kind of information all the time.” www.idsnews.com/inside 7

CONFESSIONS

BETTER YOU

KNOW-IT-ALL

TIP JAR

IN YOUR WORDS

ESSAY

OUR LIVES ONLINE

A LOOK INTO WHAT WE SHARE — AND DON’T SHARE — ON THE INTERNET

BY ALYSSA GOLDMAN | GRAPHICS BY BIZ CARSON

T

he spheres of our private and public lives are anything but clear-cut. Online, these two worlds collide and crash.

We share so much personal information on our blogs and social networking accounts. We think we’re just interacting with our friends. We think our profiles are safe because they are “private.”

But the information we put online — our political beliefs, our relationships, our pictures, our religious affiliation — are essentially accessible to everyone.

Nothing online is sacred.

Remember that picture of you doing an upside-down margarita? Your mother can see it. Remember that status where you vented about your job? Your boss can see it.

Inside wanted to know if you’ve posted anything you wouldn’t necessarily want everyone to see or read. Are you guilty of keeping your secrets online? Be honest.

51%

of students surveyed said they had nothing to hide on their profiles.

TOP FIVE THINGS TO POST ON YOUR FACEBOOK PROFILE

INSIDE’S ONLINE SURVEY What are IU students really up to online? We sent out a Google survey, and you answered. Seventy-two students dished about everything from their 7th grade Xanga to the most cringe-worthy statuses they’ve read on Facebook.

53%

of students surveyed said they never had a Xanga.

IS YOUR XANGA STILL FLOATING AROUND ONLINE?

ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT PEOPLE Yes FINDING 3% YOUR OLD XANGA?

Don’t know 29%

WHAT WAS ON YOUR XANGA? Yes 38%

No 32%

1. Things you did that day - 42% 2. My crushes 36% 3. Can’t remember - 13%

Don’t know 27% No 70%

4. “Bad” things you did like sneaking out of the house or underage drinking - 8%

1. Pictures of you with friends - 99% 2. Comment on friends’ walls/posts - 99% 3. Non-opinionated statuses - 89% 4. Articles, videos, memes, etc. - 85% 5. Relationship statuses (joke or real) - 69% TOP FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER POST ON YOUR FACEBOOK 1. Nude/scantily clad photos- 99% 2. Photos doing drugs or of drugs - 97% 3. Opinions about classes/jobs - 79% 4. Underage drinking photo - 76% 5. Photos of you kissing someone - 40% TOP FIVE MOST AWKWARD THINGS SEEN ON FACEBOOK 1. People fighting on comments - 19%

46%

of students surveyed took Myspace pics of themselves and other goofy pictures..

WHAT DID YOU DO ON MYSPACE? 1. Commented on friend’s pages - 68% 2. Played with the background of my page - 65% 3. Changed/picked my Top Friends 61%

3. Pictures of sonograms/new baby - 15%

4. Posted music/found new music 46%

4. Statuses about getting drunk or high - 13%

5. Took surveys - 36%

2. Posts about being depressed, ugly, or fat - 15%

5. Statuses about breakups - 11% 8 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

IS YOUR MYSPACE STILL FLOATING AROUND ONLINE? Don’t know 27% No 40%

Yes 35%

“The strangest thing I’ve ever seen on Facebook was a status that requested people to ‘like’ her status and in return, she would rate on a scale 1-10 how sexy they were. Her status got 72 ‘likes’! Some people received numbers with decimals like 8.8. I just had to find out which of my friends ‘liked’ this status. It is also extremely weird that some people who rarely speak in person comment on everything and post whatever they want on Facebook.

It’s as if there are two people: Facebook Frank and regular Frank.”

Kevin Skinner, freshman “I used the online dating site OKCupid and found the person that I’m dating now. But I have had one bad experience. I met up with someone in Bloomington, and he was kind of rude. While we were on our date in mid-conversation, he looked at his computer screen and said, ‘I have to get back to work.’ As for my life online, my attitude is one many might not approve of, but I feel like that it should remain separate from my work life. My Facebook is public, and there is nothing obscene on it. Instead of saying ‘I’m getting drunk,’ I’ll write ‘I’m having a good time.’ I let people fill in the blanks of what I’m doing extracurricularly.”

Daniel Benge, sophomore “As a student in the School of Education, I wasn’t aware that I had to censor my Facebook. It wasn’t until junior year, when I took a required legal studies class, that I had to go through and delete complete albums and photos I was tagged in. When you’re a teacher, you can’t have a photo of yourself with a beer or other drink whether or not you are of age. If students don’t find you on Facebook, their parents will, and you can’t have anything too racy on your profile.

You can’t have any personal beliefs online including your religion and the political party you affiliate with.

When it comes to the information you put on the Internet, less is best.”

Jenny Pizarro, senior “Sonograms and other pregnancy pictures are sometimes awkward.

It just depends if someone is a 13-year-old freshman in high school.

But what really annoys me is when a ‘friend’ is engaged to someone new SEE ONLINE, PAGE 20

GET LOST

IMU houses more than cozy chairs

BY HANNAH WALTZ

The Indiana Memorial Union can seem like a labyrinth, but there’s much more mystery and history riddled within the Union’s walls than its confusing passageways.

The next time you’re standing in line at Starbucks, consider that about 50 years ago, you would have been ordering a cappuccino from the Biddle Hotel’s front desk. Or the next time you’re warming yourself by the “Fire of Hospitality” in the south lounge, think about how it’s been burning since 1939.

The Union is full of secrets, and Thomas Simmons, IMU associate director, is one of its keepers. These are just a few of them.

1. KP WILLIAMS DINING ROOM Named for the distinguished mathematics professor and founder of IU’s formal ROTC program, the Kenneth Powers Williams Dining Room is nestled within the Union’s third floor. Because it is so tiny and compact, the room’s antique table seats only 10 guests.

2. FEDERAL ROOM Hidden behind a nondescript, closed door is the Federal Room, an ornate colonial dining room and parlor. Instead of wallpaper, the parlor is lined with woodblock prints of French origin that depict early scenes of American history.

On the wall hangs the “Unfinished Portrait.” It is a painting of Mary Burnet, who is known for her contributions to the art movement in Indiana during the early 1900’s, Simmons said. She received an honorary master’s degree from IU in 1933.

1

K.P. Williams dining room IU Bookstore

2

Alumni Hall Balcony

Union Board

Federal Room

Memorial

IU Bookstore

Whittenberger Auditorium

3. THE BURIED RIFLE RANGE Directly beneath Dunn Meadow Café is the now dormant rifle range of the IMU, complete with a gun vault and targets. It was formerly used by students, especially those in the ROTC.

4

5 room

Alumni Hall

Tudor Room

4

IU Bookstore

4. ALUMNI HALL DRESSING ROOMS In the 1930s and ‘40s, this was the home of IU’s theatrical performances (before the Auditorium was built). The stage in Alumni Hall is just the front door to the maze of outdated dressing rooms and neglected stairwells.

Frangipani room

The Commons The Market

two floors below

5. MEMORIAL ROOM The room outside Starbucks, which many students surely mistake for a chapel, hosts the two oldest artifacts in the building: two stained glass windows, one

Back Alley Bowling

Map by Biz Carson

3

Rifle range

INSIDE THE INDIANA MEMORIAL UNION At 500,000 sq. ft., the IMU is one of the largest student unions in the world, and within its limestone walls lies more than 80 years of campus history. But don’t take it from us, find some of these rooms for yourself and uncover some of the IMU’s hidden secrets.

SEE UNION, PAGE 20

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CONFESSIONS

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ESSAY

BEHIND B-TOWN’S BEST BITES

We might think Bloomington’s food and drink options are just like any other college town’s. But one day a craving will come, and we will find ourselves either not in Bloomington or too lazy to leave the house. We will stare into our refrigerators and cabinets, scratching our heads, wondering how exactly we can satisfy the insatiable craving for a Bloomington favorite. Inside talked to the owners and managers of some of Bloomington’s favorite local establishments to uncover the secrets of what goes into their most popular foods and drinks.

BY MARC FISHMAN AND MELINDA ELSTON | PHOTOS BY CHAZ MOTTINGER

SINK THE BIZ FRIES Nick’s English Hut 423 E. Kirkwood Ave.

WHAT YOU’LL GET A bucket of french fries seasoned with Nick’s own addictive in-house spice.

Sprinkled with mild cheese and served with garlic mayonnaise for dipping.

THE SECRET Nick’s in-house spice is a special combination of paprika, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic, kosher salt, thyme, and oregano.

“We have a guy in Nashville (Ind.) who comes up

10 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

with our spices according to our recipes,” kitchen manager Cory Bowers says.

Sink the Biz fries are a relatively new addition to what Bowers says is a recent focus on food at Nick’s.

The previous kitchen manager originally came up with the spice combo as a seasoning for their chicken. It was so good, he wanted to feature it in a different way — dusting it on their fresh fries, with a little cheese.

Bowers says on a busy night, Nick’s probably sells about 200 orders of its famous fries.

BREADSTIX

Pizza X 1791 E. Tenth St. WHAT YOU’LL GET Soft breadsticks covered in a salty seasoning. They come with an option of pizza, cheese, ranch, or garlic sauce — a late night favorite.

THE SECRET Locally made dough that’s given 48 hours to proof to perfection. “Just before we push a tray of ’stix into the oven, we lightly mist them and shake our special house-made seasoning on them,” says Sara Sheikh, director of marketing for One World Enterprises.

DONUTS

Cresent Donut 231 S. Adams St. WHAT YOU’LL GET Cresent Donut, located west of the downtown area, might in itself be a secret to many. Open 24 hours, the shop offers a variety of donut flavors and other pastries that feature a unique glaze developed by the shop’s owner, Peter Sharpe.

THE SECRET Patience, a proofer box, and a flavorful glaze. Sharpe’s donuts go through a complicated process, starting with a basic wheat flour mixed with yeast and water. He lets the dough rise, then smacks it down, and then lets it rise all over again. “You have to give it the proper time to sit,” he says. “What that does is it gives you the flavor. And we are all about flavor here.”

Sharpe says another key step is putting the shaped donut molds into a closed proofer box before frying.

“It lets the donut create a humidity inside the box, and it makes it tender and nice,” he says.

After frying, Sharpe glazes the donuts with his own unique combination of flavorings, including vanilla, maple flavoring, and much more.

For 25 years, Sharpe has been baking as many as 350 dozen donuts a day on the busy weekends at his Cresent Donut shop. The shop itself has been in business for 50 years.

Pizza X has been around for almost 30 years. It sells more than 50,000 breadsticks in a typical week.

THE HAIRY BEAR Bear’s Place 1316 E. Third St.

WHAT YOU’LL GET Six shots of liquor mixed with fruit juices and topped off with Sprite. According to the menu: “Makes you want to climb tall buildings.”

THE SECRET Don’t even ask. General manager Phil Resler says anyone who pours a Hairy Bear has to sign a confidentiality oath to never share the recipe. “It is a trademarked drink,” Resler says. “But the key is that it is topped off with Sprite.”

To preserve the secrecy of the recipe, Resler says bartenders make a stock of the Hairy Bear mixture in the morning before the restaurant opens each day. The recipe has changed through the years, with previous incarnations containing even more shots of higher proofed liquors.

“People were getting way too drunk, so we had to slow it down a little bit,” Resler says. He adds that bartenders often go through about 60 gallons of the Hairy Bear mixture on a busy night.

SUGAR COOKIE DOUGH Baked! of Bloomington 313 E. Third St.

WHAT YOU’LL GET You can add endless combinations of mix-ins, like Oreos and butterscotch chips, to an order of Baked! cookies. While these creative combos might seem like they make the cookie, the secret is actually in the dough.

THE SECRET Only the most senior staff members are allowed to know the dough’s recipe. “Every batch of Baked! cookie dough is made from high quality, natural ingredients in small batches,” says owner Jeremy Ness. “This ensures ... rich, gooey cookies every time.”

Baked! sells about 10,000 cookies a week.

‘SWEET Q’ WING SAUCE Buffa Louie’s 114 S. Indiana Ave.

WHAT YOU’LL GET Buffa Louie’s “Sweet Q” barbecue sauce is one of the many specialty sauces offered at this Bloomington wings institution. “It’s almost like a candy on a sauce,” owner Jaimie Schwartzman says.

THE SECRET It turns out Schwartzman is not so far from the truth: “It actually is made almost like a candy,” she says. “It’s cooked slowly up to a specific temperature, then it’s cooled rapidly.” Schwartzman says the key to the sweetness is a whole lot of sugar.

Schwartzman says the restaurant often goes through gallons of each sauce on any given week.

www.idsnews.com/inside 11

Aaron Barnes, Kappa Alpha Psi polemarch

Chandlar Smith, marketing major

Christine Rubeiz, neroscience and biology major

Eric Love, Director at the Office of Diversity Education

Jacinda Townsend, English professor

Rhianna Gides, Townsend’s daughter

Fadzai Gides, Townsend’s daughter

Glenn Gass, music professor

Justin Kingsolver, 2011-12 IUSA president

Matt Ahlberg, telecommunications major

Sue Silberberg, rabbi at Hillel

Saeah Yoon, accounting major

Ivana Huang, sophomore from Carmel, Ind.

Jill Cimasko, opera and violin-making major

Joe Mayer, freshman from Crown Point, Ind.

Jowi Estava Ghersi, theater major

their secrets to

BY LAUREN SEDAM | PHOTOS BY CHAZ MOTTINGER AND ZACH HETRICK

Sally Bae, business and economics major

Tessa Qualkinbush, pre-med major

Uchka Chimegbaatar, economics major

Zain Ashary, pre-med major

F

ritz Lieber sits at the front of his classroom in the Hutton Honors College. His tan corduroys wrinkle in his chair, edging over his tennis shoes. His tortoise shell glasses glint in the snowy sunshine slipping in. ¶ In this room, he isn’t going to teach chemistry or calculus. He’s not going to lecture about proper placement for commas. What he’s been studying is entirely different, something with no right answer and no certain formula — happiness.

Lieber has been studying it since 1980. In this class — “The Pursuit of Happiness” — his students study everything from the Bible and Aristotle to Emily Dickinson and Beethoven searching for the answers no one has.

As college students, we’re just starting our own journeys. We don’t have all the answers.

This is the story of three people who have gotten close — a groundskeeper, a funeral director, and a professor. They’ve seen hardships most of us haven’t, but from the very bottom, each found something elusive and rare — their secret to happiness. * * * Natalie Childers was boot-deep in leaves and brush, digging near the Jordan River in the shadow of Ballantine.

She bent over and picked through the sticks.

“Just the big ones,” she says, tossing them up the banks. She and her supervisor were working to manicure the area they oversee as campus groundskeepers.

She smiled in the cold sunlight. This — finally — was where she was meant to be.

The last time she was really happy, she was 16. It was the end of March, and she and her dad had gone camping. They’d gone fishing, and they’d climbed waterfalls. Under the stars, they’d talked about things they never had before.

“Dad, if you die, I want this camper,” she says. “If we died now, this would be our heaven.”

When she went to sleep, it was the happiest day of her life.

The next day, Natalie didn’t go to church with her dad. He had narcolepsy, and she wasn’t there to keep him awake at the wheel.

When she saw her mom and brother, she knew something had happened. It was April 1, and she thought it was a joke. It wasn’t. Her dad was dead. The words they’d spoken weighed on her. The guilt she felt did too.

In her grief, she began researching Native American beliefs — part of her mother’s heritage. When she was outside, the pain all melted away. She would play basketball all night — something she and her dad used to do — almost until she was too tired to stand. She felt like he was there.

But when she was forced to sit still at school, her grief came back.

Her happiest day and saddest day were wrapped up tightly, inseparable. It would take years to recover. She didn’t know it then, but the seed of her happiness had already been planted. * * *

Most of David Shirley’s professional life is made of quiet moments. They’re moments when, sitting across from people surrounded by coffin samples, they can’t collect their thoughts. They’re moments when there’s quiet sniffling at a graveside.

And they’re moments when the halls of Allen Funeral Home, where David is a funeral director, are quiet, waiting for the next person to call.

David is the person whose life is surrounded by the worst moments of other people’s lives. His business is easing their pain, building from their grief. From the outside, every day can seem drenched in death.

Most days, though, he sees a light. The son and daughter of a 93-year-old woman will come in and talk on and on about how wonderful their mother was. At the gravesite, just after burying his mother, an only son will turn to David. He’ll shake his hand and Fritz Lieber, professor for the class “The Pursuit of Happiness”

14

tell him how great all the arrangements David was able to put together were. Those are the best days.

But David hasn’t always been the comforter. He’s been the man at the graveside before, too, the man dealing with loss. Twenty years ago, at Christmas, he had a daughter, but she died at birth.

“It was 20 years ago,” he says.

“Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Some days it feels like 100 years ago. If you have people in your life, you’re going to have loss.”

His divorce followed. He felt like a failure. He had to find a way back.

David has a theory that there’s the event, and then there’s a gap. In the gap, you get to choose how you react. What you do in the gap determines what comes next.

“There’s no one step,” he says.

“Although each began with steps.”

There, in the darkness of the gap, he chose to keep walking. * * *

Natalie Childers, groundskeeper

Lieber doesn’t think about his bad times like most other people do. He’s studied therapy and has been a therapist, and sometimes, when he’s feeling down, he’ll analyze himself.

“Sometimes I ask myself, ‘Is this the depression talking?’” he says. It’s how he would talk to his patients.

Most of the time, he doesn’t think about happiness like the rest of us, either. When he thinks about it, he looks at it as an idea — as something with a history, a question other people have asked before.

“I like the idea of happiness being more than just a feeling,” he says. “It is a feeling, but it can be an idea and attitude that relates to the whole life, not just a moment of it.”

Most of the time, though, he doesn’t think about it. He lives it. He goes home and writes letters to friends and old students.

He plays with his cat, Miaki, and talks to his partner when he gets home from teaching history at Indiana State University. He likes to cook — fresh vegetables, fish, and chicken are his favorites — and he loves drinking wine with friends.

Outside the classroom, he doesn’t wear it on his sleeve, and it doesn’t haunt his every thought. He just is happy. * * * Natalie’s secret to happiness rose from disaster, just as she did. She was working in the IU Art Museum as a security guard when the museum underwent construction. She had to lose hours or transfer to the grounds crew. She was the only one who switched.

SEE HAPPINESS, PAGE 20

David Shirley, funeral director at Allen Funeral Home

15

16 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

BAR NG EVERYTH NG

BY CHARLES SCUDDER | PHOTOS BY AMELIA CHONG

T

he lecture hall in Swain West wasn’t the holiest of spaces, but it did just fine.

At the worship service a girl with a blonde braided ponytail and a blue plaid shirt sat in the third row. Unlike most of the others in the room, she had no shoes on her feet.

“It’s comfortable. I like standing out in a crowd,” she says later in the evening. “I just have two rules: if there’s snow on the ground or cold rain. Or if it’s below 30 degrees.”

She carries a pair of brown Sperrys in her backpack, which she uses outside when it is cold or wet. But as soon as she gets inside, the shoes come off.

She hasn’t worn shoes for two years. She’s committed herself to God for about the same amount of time.

When pressed, she says she goes barefoot just because it is more comfortable. Even in the deep snows of an Indiana winter, she shrugs it off and insists there’s no deeper meaning.

“I think I feel like I could spiritualize it in a number of different ways, but there’s no real correlation,” she says. “I find it more comfortable.”

Kristen Haubold, an IU junior, is a member of the Campus Crusade for Christ, also known as Campus

Cru or sometimes even just Cru. The group meets on campus every week.

She worships with them and prays with them, and it is through them that she has found acceptance.

Each service includes a “real life story” of one of the members of Cru giving testimony to God’s role in his or her life. This time, she would take center stage.

For about a week, she’d been preparing, praying, and going through drafts of her speech with friends and Cru leaders. Soon, it was her turn to address the group.

“Hi, I’m Kristen, and I don’t wear shoes,” she says with a smile, pointing to her bare feet.

She pulled out a piece of paper, bowed her head, and began to read.

“My whole life I’ve been searching for safety. I was taught at a young age by sexual abuse, at the hands of my brother, that the world is not a safe place.”

The room was already quiet, but now every eye was on Haubold.

“I’ve tried to find safety in as many places as you could imagine,” she says. “I’ve tried to find safety in success, in taking care of myself, in masculinity, in the arms of another woman, in isolation and seclusion.”

“I came to college a lonely, broken mess of a

At left, Haubold kicks her foot high as Cru students and staff danced to country music at Mike’s Music and Dance Barn in Nashville, Ind.

Junior Kristen Haubold stands in front of 200 people to share her “real life story,” a weekly feature at Cru where students show how they have overcome past struggles with God’s help.

www.idsnews.com/inside 17

After the meeting, IU students drove to Nashville, Ind., for the Cru-organized party at Mike’s Music and Dance Barn, where they learned line dances set to popular country tunes.

17-year-old in a serious relationship with another woman, trying desperately to find safety in anywhere but God. Because, of course, God wasn’t safe.

“You see, life had also taught me that God could not be trusted,” she says, never looking up from the paper. “I saw God as this cosmic sadist who wanted to make my life miserable.”

She talks about walling off relationships with others and living in isolation in an effort to find some semblance of safety.

Then, during the winter of her freshman year, she turned to God. “When I was at my worst, thinking I was beyond hope, beyond the power of God’s redemption, He proved me quite wrong,” Haubold says. “I’m still lonely sometimes ... I struggle with sin ... Trusting the Lord for safety and trusting people is terrifying. Standing up here is terrifying.”

She ended on a quote from 2 Corinthians 4.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed,” she read. “So we do not lose heart.

Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

W

hen she took her seat again, Haubold says she felt relieved. A weight that had been pressing down on her was finally lifted from her shoulders.

“It’s almost like I don’t have to hide what I think about,” she says. “I feel like I don’t have to come out to every single person any more.”

“It’s been a good thing.”

After the testimony and a sermon, a worship band provided music and prayer.

Singer and guitarist Joel Barker closed his eyes and approached the microphone to pray with the group.

“Lord, we love you so, but sin has left a disgusting stain on our hearts. We don’t even deserve to sing songs to you,” Barker says. “We come here after a Christmas break full of garbage. We don’t live like we should.”

18 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

During the prayer, Haubold sat down and held her hands together with her head hanging low. Those around her stood and took in the message. The mood was one of shame: shame of sin, shame of an imperfect life.

But there was still a promise of hope: hope that by accepting the teachings of Jesus Christ, any of these college students might find freedom and forgiveness.

“I think you realize how sick we really are. You’ll see how badly we need a doctor,” a worship leader says. “There’s a sincere freedom in that.”

The next song started slowly, with a piano melody accompanied by harmonious, emotion-filled vocals.

Haubold kept her head low and remained sitting. As the song began to pick up speed, she slowly stood up but kept her eyes closed and her head hung low.

The music got louder; the rhythm of the drums got stronger; Barker strummed his guitar with more purpose and strength. Haubold lifted one hand with her palm out, the other hand in a fist at her chest.

She pounded the tempo into her chest, beating along with the song, gaining power with each successive phrase. The blue light of a projector, which shared lyrics with the whole room, illuminated her face.

“The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning. It’s time to sing Your song again,” Haubold sang along. Her eyes were still closed, and she raised her other hand into the air.

The music was loud, waves of sound crashing down around Haubold, wrapping and cleansing her.

She turned her head skyward, singing to the heavens. She spread her arms wide, ready to accept whatever God had in store.

B

ecause it was the first meeting of the new semester, Cru leaders decided to rent out the Mike’s Music and Dance Barn in Nashville, Ind., after the service in Swain West.

After some organized line dancing lessons early in the

SEE KRISTEN, PAGE 20

The freshest news and recipes inspired by local food and sustainable agriculture. A half-hour WFIU program, Saturdays at 12:30 ‌ and a podcast and blog updated frequently and available any time.

Saturdays at 12:30 pm

Blog and podcast

@eartheats

KRISTEN FROM PAGE 18

Toward the end of the night, Haubold breaks away from the crowd and does a quiet shuffle dance to the booming music.

HAPPINESS FROM PAGE 15 Then, tornados hit, and trees came crashing down around campus. To her, it was a miracle. Because she had worked so hard and they liked her work so much, they wanted to keep her.

Every season brought the ache of new muscles, but she loved it. Being outside, she felt like she did shooting baskets after her dad died. She belonged.

“I have a strange belief that some people have more of an animal side,” she says. “I believe that for me.”

She bonded with the men she worked with, teasing them and playing pranks just like they did to her. Her supervisor, Tommy, even taught her to hunt. That was something her dad always promised her he would do.

Tommy said she was a natural, and this year, they killed seven deer. He strung the antler of her first on a necklace, and she wears it every day.

She’s lost 70 pounds, and she’s thinking about joining the National Guard, a tribute to her dad, who was a Green Beret. She could also see herself starting her own landscape business.

This day — the quiet, cool morning by Ballantine — she’s where she belongs. She bent down again to pick up more cut branches, tossing them up the bank.

At the end of the day, she’ll be tired. Her back will ache. But the sweat and pain are her miracle. From her dad and the tornado to here, she’s found her place.

“This is my home away from home,” she says. * * * There’s a framed quote that hangs above David’s desk.

“Life has, indeed, many ills, but the mind that views every object in its most cheering aspect, and every doubtful dispensation as replete with latent good, bears within itself a powerful and perpetual antidote.”

It’s the one thing he looks at when he’s having a hard day, but he hasn’t had to look at it much lately. Right now, he knows, he’s in the happiest time of his life.

20 INSIDE MAGAZINE the secrets issue

evening, the DJ strayed from country-western toward the kind of Top 40 music a college crowd would be more accustomed to.

Hips shook, arms waved, and the whole evening became something a little more relaxed. Red stage lights illuminated the faces of long-haired women in tight jeans and plaid western shirts with their arms in the air.

It was a garden of earthly delights as the group paired up and danced close. Although most pairs were men and women, some men partnered with other men and some women danced with other women.

“It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes,” Nelly sang through the speakers as the Cru members danced.

Haubold sat at a row of tables around the edge of the dance floor, watching her friends dance under the spinning lights of a disco ball in the darkened hall. She had taken a break between organized line dances to sit at a row of tables on the side of the barn.

She had taken off her plaid button-up shirt to reveal a gray Little 500 T-shirt — she was on the women’s Cru Cycling team last year — and a necklace on a black band, a gift from her sister-in-law.

“This heart is a reminder of God’s love. This feather represents freedom, the freedom I have through Christ. And this pearl represents beauty,” she says, pointing out the charms on the necklace.

WHAT IS MAYOR KRUZAN’S SECRET TO HAPPINESS? Find out online, only at idsnews.com/inside.

He has three children, a 17-year-old and 7-yearold twins, and they amaze him every day. He’s with a wonderful woman, and she has three kids, too. They look like the Brady Bunch when they eat at a restaurant. He’s an avid cyclist, and he coaches a Little Five team.

Sometimes, when he sees college students, he does think about his daughter. She would be their age now, he knows. But, he remembers, if that hadn’t happened, who knows where he would be. He might not have the children he has now. It might all be different.

On his bad days — even his worst days — he still hangs on to his own secret. When he’s sitting across from the parents making arrangements for the 18-year-old son they hugged that morning, he knows.

That flat tire last week wasn’t too bad. The kids being loud last night isn’t too much. The problems of the past melt away. None of them seem that important in the scheme of it.

“Everything else is pretty much a hangnail,” he says. * * * On the stairs of the Hutton Honors College, just before his class, Lieber is asked a question. What’s your secret to happiness?

He has years of study behind him. There’s the teachings of the Dalai Lama, Camus, Mill, and Kant.

There’s his cat and his partner, cooking, and writing.

There’s what his students have to say.

It’s a lifetime of choices, of knowing.

“The secret to happiness is that there is no secret,” he writes. “We all must find it on our own.”

“When I was at my worst, thinking I was beyond hope, beyond the power of God’s redemption, He proved me quite wrong.”

Haubold was in a long-term relationship with another woman when she came to IU but broke it off when she made Christ a priority.

She is no longer with women, but said the temptation is still very real. In her speech at the service earlier in the evening, she admitted “there have been some hellish times in my life this past year.”

“I’m still attracted to women, but I don’t think that’s the path God has for me,” she says. “There’s a line in Corinthians 1 that talks about making every thought captive to Christ. When it comes to temptation, you’ve just got to shut it down.”

Whenever she does begin to give in to temptation, she says, she turns to prayer and the Bible for guidance.

It’s always a battle, but she insists it’s a battle she can win.

When the DJ took to the floor to teach the group a circle dance to “Cotton-Eyed Joe,” Haubold went back out to join her friends.

“Step, turn, stomp, stomp. Step, slide, together, clap,” the DJ shouted, showing the steps to the group.

Among the sea of brown and black boots, tennis shoes and leather loafers slid a lone pair of bare feet.

UNION FROM PAGE 9 of which dates back to 1290 and was donated from Hoosier novelist Booth Tarkington’s home. At the heart of the Memorial Room is the Golden Book that records the names of the men and women of IU who served in the U.S. wars between the War of 1812 and the Second World War. The book was handwritten by Bloomington resident Dolores Rockwood.

THE STUDENT ACTIVITIES TOWER EIGHTH FLOOR The eighth floor of the Student Activities Tower, the summit of the Union only accessible via stairs, is home to the Fletchall Room and the Bryan Room. Union Board used to conduct meetings in the Fletchall Room in the 1930s, but both rooms can now be rented out to any student organization willing to make the trek.

ONLINE FROM PAGE 8 every other day. As for my profile, my mom can see everything. I have nothing to hide. The only thing that worries me is the possibility of photos I’m not tagged in being somewhere in cyberspace.”

Alexa Proctor, junior “I actually don’t have a Facebook or Twitter because they were consuming too much of my time, and I wanted to spend more time putting work toward getting better grades. I deleted my Facebook four months ago for that reason, but I was also sick of reading how depressing people’s lives were. I think people are too attached to social networking especially now that people can access it from their phone. To be honest, I think it’s kind of sick. Instead of reading statuses, I’m now reading books.”

Luke Miller, freshman

CONFESSIONS

TIP JAR

BETTER YOU

KNOW-IT-ALL

ESSAY

WHO IS FAKE CODY ZELLER? AS TOLD TO DANIELLE RINDLER

I

t’s no secret IU basketball is back. Aside from beating Kentucky and Ohio State, the season highlights included all the fake accounts that sprung up on Twitter. Our favorite fakes got us through those slow moments and made us LOL during that unbearable first Minnesota game. So who’s behind Fake Cody Zeller? We tried our best to find out, 140 characters at a time.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome I am currently underemployed. One time, I was in the same building as Cody. Or maybe it was Tyler ...

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome MLK Jr. said we should judge people on the content of their character rather than the color of their skin.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome I started this account as a way to spread The Big Handsome nickname, because Cody’s lack of a suitable nickname was simply unacceptable.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome I wanted to be judged on the content of my tweets, not the color of my brand new Ferrari.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome The Big Z? Eh. Ga-Zeller? Not much better.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome The account is a small part of my life. I usually only look at it whenever I’m not getting any action on my ChristianMingle.com profile.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome Now that it’s the offseason, I’ll probably spend most of my time helping Cody develop his mid-range game, and tweeting every now and then.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome I’ll also be announcing his decision to either stay for his second year or go to the draft, so stay tuned.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome My favorite tweet: “Fouls are kind of like Qdoba burritos. You have too many and you find yourself sitting down uncomfortably for long periods of time.”

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome Cody loves the account. Ok I made that up but I mean, come on, how could he not?

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome But tweets that are timely in-game tweets, honorary handsome performances of the game, or anything bashing Purdue tend to get a big response.

Cody Zeller Fake @TheBigHandsome Finally, I have it on good authority that Cody loves cookies more than you or I love anything. Keep that in mind ladies. #cookiesforCody

@TOMPRITCHARD25 ometimes, it’s almost too easy to make a joke on Tom Pritchard’s behalf. No one knows this better than the guy behind @TomPritchard25.

S

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 First, a little about myself: In about two weeks, I’ll be able to bench press 200 lbs.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 To me, it’s important to remain anonymous because sex offenders always try to keep a low profile.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 I decided to start the account because no one would have cared about a fake Verdell Jones account.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 My source of inspiration for my tweets is Ben Affleck movies on repeat.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 That said, I spend more time on the Tom Pritchard account than I do with my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend (she’s too needy).

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 My followers are big fans of the love affair between Tom and Daniel Moore.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 They also seem to be as smitten with Ruby Tuesday’s as TomPritchard25 is.

Fake Tom Pritchard @TomPritchard25 Since Tomcat is graduating, I’ll look to lend him a hand in the professional world with a Fake TomPritchard25 LinkedIn account.

Seniors: It’s Time to Celebrate Congratulations on your upcoming graduation—you’re about to become part of a family of more than 550,000 alumni!

We have a couple of graduation gifts for you—a big party and a free year’s membership in the IU Alumni Association.

Like money, your membership works no matter where you are.

And, unlike the free things handed out at a game, you won’t lose or break your membership on the way home. Your parents will also be grateful that we aren’t giving you one more thing to store “temporarily” in their basement.

All you have to do is opt in online at alumni.indiana.edu/optin or email iuaamemb@indiana.edu.

You can also opt in when you register to attend Senior Salute, the biggest graduation party on the IU Bloomington campus. Skip the line—big party equals big line, you know—and register online at iuaa. imodules.com/senior-salute. The Ärst 1,000 students to register online for the April 26 party will get a free pint glass. Scroll to the bottom of the form to opt in for your free membership.

We know you still have a few things left to do as an IU student

before you start calling yourself an IU alum—like falling asleep on an IMU couch while studying for your Änals. But make sure to update your to-do list with these two items— registering for Senior Salute and opting in for your free IUAA membership.

Take advantage of these beneÄts—listed in box at right— during your free year of membership.

If you have any questions, send them to iuaamemb@indiana.edu.

Unlike the guy you sat next to in M118, we can actually help you understand what’s going on.

Remember, even though you are graduating, this doesn’t mean your IU fun has to stop. Let the IUAA be your lifetime connection to IU. No matter where you go, you can always Änd IU alumni. We have more than 60 chapters in the U.S. and more than 30 chapters around the world. You’re never too far from an IU basketball game-watching party, a networking night, or other IU events. You made so many great memories at IU as a student. Start making some great memories as an IU alum.

As you walk across that stage in your cap and gown, remember, the best is yet to come!

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WITH YOUR FREE IUAA MEMBERSHIP, YOU CAN • Access exclusive career opportunities and coaching through IUAA Alumni Career Services and access résumé and cover letter builder.

• Search the Alumni Directory for IU alums in your town, your industry, or your employer to make networking easy.

• Find an instant community of IU friends wherever you go through your local IUAA chapter.

• Stay involved with IU by becoming a mentor or helping to recruit promising students.

• Read the Indiana Alumni Magazine online for engaging and lively stories celebrating the achievements and happenings of the university and your classmates.

SeniorsHave you Done it

All?

Celebrated a big Hoosier victory on Kirkwood?

Made a $50 “contribution” to IU Parking Operations?

Found yourself in the Wells Library around 3 a.m.?

Memorized the words to “This is Indiana”?

Hoped a week at the SRSC would get you in shape for Spring Break?

Collected a rainbow of pizza delivery cup colors?

Recognized the greatness of a weekend of bicycle races?

Slept more on the IMU couches than your own bed?

Pre-registered for Senior Salute to skip the line on April 26, 4–6 p.m.?

Signed up for your free one year membership to the IU Alumni Association to help you find a job, connect with other alums, and stay informed about IU? SENIOR SALUTE iuaa.imodules.com/senior-salute

FREE IUAA MEMBERSHIP alumni.indiana.edu/optin