LESSON 1.1.4: Strategies to build self-confidence and confidence in others

Action plan

Actions Who is involved? What do I need? When must it be completed?

Self-confidence is the understanding that you trust your own judgement and abilities. It simply means having faith in yourself. Confidence is shown in different ways. It can be the way you behave, in other words how you communicate and your body language. Confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks.

Confident people are generally more positive towards the world and the people around them and about their daily actions and tasks. Becoming more knowledgeable about different issues, often talking to people and practising positive thinking are all useful ways to improve your levels of confidence. (Skills You Need, n.d.)

Improve communication skills

It is not always easy for everybody to do presentations or to have difficult conversations. To communicate with confidence, you need to know what you want to say and clearly say what you want.

Tips for confident communication

• A stable clear voice. Practise to talk without whispers or stammering. • Make eye contact with your audience. • Listen attentively to others. • Be assertive. Do not confuse self-confidence with aggressiveness. • Speak from the heart – if you are passionate about what you say, you will feel more confident. (Matta, 2012)

Plan to complete tasks successfully and on time

Finishing tasks gives a feeling of accomplishment and promotes self-confidence. Stop procrastinating and start doing what needs to be done. Proper time management skills are equally as important as proper communication skills.

Useful guidelines

• Keep a planner where you plan your activities and manage your time to keep to your deadlines. • Remove all distractions, e.g. TV, social media, phone. • Congratulate yourself on all tasks completed successfully and on time and reward yourself.

Problem-solving and decision-making

If you have confidence in your own judgement and abilities, it would be easier to identify the real source of problems and make decisions to solve or overcome that specific issue. We know that if the same problem shows up again, the reason probably is that you were not able to identify the real issue causing the problem in the first place. Every time you start doubting your decisions, you will lose some of your self-confidence and start to doubt your own abilities.

Problem-solving and decision-making Some useful guidelines for solving problems or making decisions

• Clearly identify the problem or the issue. Try to understand why you think there is a problem. • Try to find potential causes for the problem. Also rely on the input from other people and listen to their opinions. • Identify alternative ways in which to approach the problem in order to solve it. • Brainstorm with others to find possible solutions. • Decide on the best possible solution to solve the problem. • Implement your final decision. • Evaluate the outcome. Did your plan work? Was this the best solution?

Problem-solving method

Very often we make decisions based on emotions. To ensure that the decision is viable and the best personal option available, a logical approach must be implemented. Rely on many different opinions of those not emotionally involved in the problem.

Effective problem-solving and decision-making will be covered in more detail in Grade 11.

How to build confidence in others

It is not always easy to build confidence in another person. You can merely encourage them to be more confident. Let us look at some ways of encouragement.

• Celebrate success. Your friend has passed their test. Make an effort to congratulate them on their success. Tell them how awesome you think that is. • Compliment often. Compliment people on things they have done well. Many people are overly critical of their actions. Affirmation that something has been done well will encourage and motivate them. • Listen to learn. Learn to listen when somebody talks to you. When someone expresses their anxiety or insecurities about something they must do, do not just dismiss it. Provide support and sound advice. Make an effort to meet people that are different from you. Focus on their uniqueness and what you can learn from them. • Acknowledge and respect uniqueness and differences. Try to learn more from people different than you. The better we understand others, the easier it would be to support them.

FOR THE CURIOUS The Power of Positive Thinking: How Thoughts Can Change Your Life

by Brian Tracy

Brian Tracy is a Canadian-American motivational public speaker and self-developed author of over eighty books. Below is a summary of the most important aspects of his article.

Can you guess what the most successful and happy people think about all day long? The answer is quite simple …

Healthy, happy people think about what they want, and how to get it, most of the time. In this way developing a positive attitude can profoundly change your entire life.

When you think and talk about what you want and how to get it, you feel happier and in greater control of your life. When you think about something that makes you happy, your brain releases endorphins, which give you a generalised feeling of well-being. As a result, you develop a positive attitude.

How to think positive

Based on many psychological tests, happy people seem to have a special quality that enables them to live a better life than the average.

Can you guess what it is? It is the quality of optimism!

The best news about optimism is that it is a learnable quality. That means you can learn how to think positive by taking adopting an optimistic mindset.

By the law of cause and effect, if you do and say what other healthy, happy people with positive attitudes do and say, you will soon feel the same way, get the same results, and enjoy the same experiences that they do.

Happy people find good in the world

Optimists seem to have different ways of dealing with the world that set them apart from the average.

1. First, they keep their minds on what they want, and keep looking for ways to get it. They are clear about goals and they are confident that they will accomplish them, sooner or later. 2. My Second, optimists look for the good in every problem or difficulty. When things go wrong, as they often do, they say, ‘That’s good!’ And then set about finding something positive about the situation.

What we know is that, if you are looking for something good or beneficial in a person or situation, you will always find it. And while you are looking, you will be a more positive and cheerful person.

The power of positive thinking

Optimists seek the valuable lesson in every setback or reversal. Rather than getting upset and blaming someone else for what has happened, they take control over their emotions by saying, ‘What can I learn from this experience?’

Resolve today to learn how to develop positive thinking and a positive attitude toward yourself, the people around you and your life.

How do you train your mind to think positive?

Training your mind to think positive can be achieved by leveraging a simple concept. Your mind has enough bandwidth to only focus on one thought at a time. All you must do is keep it focused on uplifting thoughts until you form the same types of neural pathways that are created when you establish a new habit.

When a negative event occurs, remember that it is your response that truly determines the outcome. Always look for the positive response or optimistic lesson when such events take place.

Decide to be happy

Resolve from now to see your glass of life as half full rather than half empty. Happy people give thanks for the many blessings in life rather than worrying or complaining about the things they do not have.

Assume the best of intentions on the part of everyone around you. Most people are decent, honest and are trying to do the absolute best they know how to. When you look for something good in their words and actions, you will almost always find something.

Your positive attitude in action

It is easy to be cheerful when everything is going according to plan. But it is when you encounter unexpected setbacks and difficulties that you demonstrate to yourself, and the world around you, what kind of an attitude you really have.

Make sure that it is a positive one!

How positive thinking can help you

Developing a positive attitude can help you in more ways than you might realize. When you think positive thoughts, you do not allow your mind (conscious or subconscious) to entertain any negative thoughts or doubts.

After you learn how to think positive, you will notice amazing changes all around you. Your brain will begin to operate in a state of free-flowing feel-good hormones called endorphins, which will make you feel lighter and happier. You will also notice a major boost in confidence and will feel more capable of taking on new assignments and challenges that might have previously been outside your comfort zone.

By reducing your self-limiting beliefs, you will effectively release your brakes and experience growth like you never imagined. Essentially, you can change your entire life simply by harnessing the power of positive thinking.

Source: bit.ly/3sZqDaF

Summary

To be able to develop and grow as a person it is important to increase our self-awareness. Understanding yourself better, knowing your strengths and weaknesses provide you with an opportunity to develop strategies to improve yourself. You need to understand what might impact your self-esteem and how it might influence your level of confidence and relationships. You need to take control of your own personal development. Formulating your own vision statement and setting clear and smart goals will contribute to reaching your dreams.

LESSON 1.1: Assessment

1. List THREE effects of a poor self-esteem on a person’s personal development. (3 × 1) = (3) 2. What is the difference between self-awareness, self-esteem and self-development? (3 × 1) = (3) 3. Discuss FOUR ways of building self-esteem. (4 × 1) = (4) 4. Your friend is struggling with low self-confidence. Suggest FOUR strategies that you can implement to help your friend improve their self-confidence. (4 × 1) = (4) 5. Explain the importance of having clear vision in order to reach your goals. (2 × 1) = (2)