WHAT HAPPY COUPLES KNOW

Copyright Angelika Christie

WHAT HAPPY COUPLES KNOW

I have a little story to illustrate this:

W hat is the image that comes to your mind when you envision a happy couple?

For me, it is a young couple who is expecting a baby. Then it’s the exuberant couple beholding their first child with awe.

Then there is quite a gap…time travels forward to the older couple who hold each other’s’ hand while walking the streets together. Then there is my favorite inner vision; the couple that still travels together while exploring life with zest. My heart also warms at the sight of an old couple sitting on a bench in a park; just being together.

How did they manage to not only stay together, but still love each other? We don’t know, yet I have found that the following 5 Attributes and Attitudes can make any relationship better.

First Attribute: No Requirements, Only Preferences,

Do not require anything from your partner for your happiness, but only have preferences. What will happen when you drop your requirements? A big load is lifted; you are free to enjoy what happens in the moment.

A first- time father sits in the waiting room, anxiously waiting to see his newborn son for the first time. The door opens, and the nurse carries a bundle of joy into the room. Before she shows him the baby, she asked him: “What did you want? A boy or a girl? The man says spontaneously: “A Boy!!” The nurse looks at him with a sad face and says: “Sorry, but it is a Girl”. Without hesitation, the man replied: “Oh that’s wonderful! A girl was my second preference!”

Second Attribute: Drop the Drama

You can see and feel when drama approaches in your relationship. Become clear that you will notice it and choose not to engage in drama with your partner. Of course it is totally up to you to participate, even become the star of your own drama; but only for a short time…never close the day with remnants of anger.

My father gave me this great advice just before I married. He said: “Angelika when you and your partner are upset, even want to fight, do it in the bathtub with bubbles and soft sponges.” I never forgot it. You should try it; it is a sure way to loosen the tension and may even lead to an erotic make-up session.

Be very aware and clear that only you are the master of your body; what you think, say and feel is up to you alone. Practice your power to choose what to say, what to think and the feeling will take care of itself. Above all, do not to enter into drama.

Third Attribute: Release the Past and Do Not Blame

Stay away from blaming your partner for things. Even if you feel the urge, do not bring up situations from the past. And never, never say the following phrases in a negative mood: “You always ….” Or: “You never…” or “Why don’t you do that…or be…like… and compare your partner to another person. Don’t ever, ever do this!

Fourth Attribute: Love Yourself First

You cannot truly love your partner if you cannot love yourself first. In another article I will speak more about the danger of needing to be loved as a substitute for self -love. The burden you put on your partner is enormous and unfair.

Loving yourself first is not selfish but self- caring and selfcompassionate. Develop those attributes for the joy and benefit of you and your partner. The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke said it so perfectly, and I paraphrase: “Love and Honor the Space Between You.” Love can only thrive when you set it free. Holding on too tightly will surely suffocate the fire, and your Love may die. Just like the fire needs oxygen, your Love for each other needs space and polarity to thrive.

Fifth Attribute: Have Fun and Laugh Often

Well, this is almost a given. Laughing often is an energizing and health- promoting activity, even if you laugh on your own. And laughing together creates an even stronger bond. Why? It stimulates Endorphins, the Feel -Good and Love-Hormone.

Life is serious, and also hilarious. It’s up to you how you want to experience it. We often forget to look at the bright side of situations that come into our lives unexpectedly. We often reject what we do not expect and easily miss the opportunity, which is the gift that is offered to you.

Happy couples have fun together by exploring new things to experience and create new and exciting memories. If you have children, you become a wonderful role model and also get your children off the hook! Why is this? They don’t need to feel guilty if they don’t check in with you all the time.

Those are my recommendations for you. They come from my training as a Heart Intelligence Coach, and mostly from decades of experience with my partners and husbands J Yes, I had more than one husband. I married my second husband twice, after a 10- year separation and divorce that gave us the opportunity to grow as Individuals so that we could come together again as a more mature and loving couple. You see, I know what I speak about from lived personal experience.

Are you going to implement the 5 attributes I shared with you here today?

They are tools that help you from the challenging 30’s through the rewarding 70’s. Practicing makes skillful; what better skill to learn than creating and maintaining a loving, exciting and long- lasting relationship?

I’m happy to listen to the challenges you believe you have, and help you navigate through them so that you emerge stronger and happier. Let’s talk. Book your free discovery call with me by clicking the link below. You deserve to be happy! Take the first step and book your call with me.

Much Love Angelika

Angelika Christie Angelika Christie ND DrAngelikaC

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