IN Magazine: September/October 2022 by IN Magazine

1 LGBTQ2CANADA’SCELEBRATING COMMUNITY SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2022 WHEN WILL SCIENCE TELL US EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE? CANADA’S DRAG RACE QUEENS CELEBRATE CONTENT MADE IN CANADA AHEAD OF SEASON FINALE CHALLENGES TO RECEIVING GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE IN CANADA HOW I MADE MY COMMUNITY MORE WELCOMING TO LGBTQ2+ FOLKS

2 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER We Help Elevate Brands And The Communities They Serve. Authentic LGBTQ2+ marketing grounded in purpose. Welcome Elevatemediagroup.co

LIFEHAPPENSWHENYOULEASTEXPECTIT

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4 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER ADVERTISING & OTHER INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext info@inmagazine.ca100 EDITORIAL INQUIRIES (416) 800-4449 ext editor@inmagazine.ca201 inmagazine.ca PUBLISHER Patricia Salib GUEST EDITOR Christopher Turner ART DIRECTOR Georges Sarkis COPY EDITOR Ruth Hanley SENIOR COLUMNISTS Paul Gallant, Doug Wallace CONTRIBUTORS Jesse Boland, Adriana Ermter, Colin Gaudet, Daniel Harding, Noel Hoffman, Karen Kwan, Sam Malone, Luis Augusto Nobre, Ivan Otis, Victoria Perera, Brian Phillips, Warren Urquhart, Adam Zivo IN Magazine is published six times per year by Elevate Media Group (https://elevatemediagroup.co). All rights reserved. Visit www.inmagazine.ca daily for LGBTQ2+ content. 180 John St, Suite #509, Toronto, Ontario, M5T 1X5 DIRECTOR OF BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Benjamin Chafe DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS AND COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT Jumol Royes CONTROLLER Jackie Zhao ON THE COVER: PHOTO BY ELVIN RUIZ ON UNSPLASH

5 108Issue108 September / October 2022 INFRONT 06 | AUTUMN SKIN: FACE AND BODY Don’t just fall into skin care – plan for it with a well-thought-out seasonal routine 08 | MISOGYNY, THE HOMOPHOBIA IsNESTthenews cycle stressing you out? 10 | IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH WITH AN APPLE WATCH Make use of this smartwatch’s features for a health boost 11 | SILENCING THE HIV STIGMA One drag queen’s mission to raise awareness 12 | HOW I MADE MY COMMUNITY FEEL MORE WELCOMING TO LGBTQ2+ FOLKS The rainbow crosswalk I championed – a very visible symbol of progress and pride – made me feel free to be my true self FEATURES 14 | FINDING YOUR VOICE These simple exercises for trans and nonbinary individuals will help develop your gendered voice to match your gendered expression 16 | CHALLENGES TO RECEIVING GENDER-AFFIRMING CARE IN CANADA Wait times and opacity: Problems with Ontario’s current healthcare system in particular have exacerbated its shortcomings for the trans community 18 | SOME OF YOU NEED TO START PRACTISING SEX-NEGATIVITY Is…is the “No Kink at Pride” discourse over? Is it safe to come out yet? 20 | MY COVID EXPERIENCE WAS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS During the pandemic, I went through nine surgeries and used face masks to help cover my transition 22 | MODEL LIFE Toronto’s Stefania Bonomo slays on TV’s Road to the Runway 24 | OH, I’M THE DADDY NOW? Twink, otter, pup, jock, daddy … Whatever happened to just lions, tigers and bears? 27 | CANADA’S DRAG RACE QUEENS CELEBRATE CONTENT MADE IN CANADA AHEAD OF SEASON FINALE Category is: MADE | NOUS eleganza 42 | HOW TO DAMPEN THE MORAL PANIC AGAINST DRAG QUEENS ...Because the issue is likely to flare up again and again 46 | WHEN WILL SCIENCE TELL US EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE? Is some homophobia self-phobia? 48 | MĀLAMA HAWAI‘I – TAKING A TRIP THAT GIVES BACK A healthy heritage and responsible regeneration can make your culture trip to Hawai‘i all the more magical 50 | HEAD FOR THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS A breeze through Los Angeles provides a glamorous escape into the urban adventures of the beautiful people 53 | FLASHBACK: OCTOBER 28, 1998 IN LGBTQ+ HISTORY Glen Murray becomes North America’s first openly gay mayor of a major city FASHION 32 | TWIN STYLE Fall brings with it opportunities to layer together for double the impact THIS ISSUE OF IN MAGAZINE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY The final four queens from Canada’s Drag Race Season 3 transform locally sourced MADE | NOUS T-shirts into fierce runway looks. See the looks on page 27.

6 IN MAGAZINE GOODLOOKING2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER Don’t just fall into skin care – plan for it with a well-thought-out seasonal routine

By Adriana Ermter

AUTUMN SKIN: FACE AND BODY

Photo by R Architecture on Unsplash

AUTUMN SKIN: FACE AND BODY

MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS = SHAVE DAY Whether it’s your face or your body, alternate your exfoliating and shaving days. “Don’t shave and exfoliate on the same day; otherwise, you risk irritating your skin,” advises Dr. Rogers. “Try to do these steps at night, as well, so that face and body lotions can work their magic while you sleep.”

BECOME A LABEL JUNKIE

SWAP PRODUCTS You need to support your skin barrier as the weather gets drier: you can do that by making the following switches:

GOODLOOKING

If the words ragweed, dust and pollination have you running inside and locking the doors, you’re not alone. According to Statistics Canada, 27.3 per cent of Canadians over the age of 12 have been diagnosed with allergies. And, boy, can they do a doozy on your skin with red patches, itchiness and irritation decreasing your skin barrier’s ability to function at full force, leaving you susceptible to rashes, acne, dryness and more. The solution? Apply a soothing, fragrance-free lotion containing ingredients like anti-itch colloidal oatmeal, anti-inflammatory lavender and anti-redness vitamins C and E to your face and body.

“WHAT LOOKED FLUSHED AND HEALTHY LAST MONTH NOW LOOKS DULL AND WORN OUT – BUT THERE’S A QUICK FIX.”

AVOID ALLERGEN OUTCOMES

TURN DOWN THE TEMPERATURE…IN THE BATHROOM

GET YOUR GLOW ON Summer’s chlorinated pools, sweaty activities and blazing sun have played havoc with your skin, and what looked flushed and healthy last month now looks dull and worn out. But it’s a quick fix. The International Dermal Institute recommends removing dead skin cells and stimulating new ones with a face- and/or bodyexfoliating product. Just don’t mix and match. (Face exfoliator for face, body exfoliator for body.)

Fluctuating temperatures mean your skin needs an extra hit of hydration to stay calm and stable. Moisture heroes that won’t leave you feeling greasy or looking shiny include humectants like hyaluronic acid for optimum moisture absorption and retention; silk tree and horse chestnut extracts to smooth fine lines and weariness into oblivion, while reducing dark circles, puffiness and wrinkles; and peptides to plump and soothe sensitive skin.

• Read the label’s instructions and apply properly.

• Remember that you still need sunscreen if you’re sitting and/or working near a window.

• Wear a lotion with an SPF of at least 15.

• Reapply often, especially if you are sweating.

Let’s talk about transitioning…your skin care. You’ve been in SPF-heavy mode for summer but now it’s time to get into a fresh fall regimen. And no, this isn’t a gimmick like Hallmark cards and Valentine’s Day. You truly need to do this if you want the skin on your face and your body to adjust nicely, easily even, into the fluctuating hot/cool/humid/damp/oh-my-god-why-isit-suddenly-cold-outside temperatures and seasonal allergens that September and October typically bring. Heck, if you live in Calgary, it’ll be full-on winter by the time Halloween arrives. Which means you need a little know-how and a healthy dose of insight now about what to look for and what to do to guide you through this transitional season.

Try a gentle scrub containing organic ingredients like salt or sugar, or exfoliating chemicals such as retinol and glycolic acid. Regardless of the formula, keep your applications to twice a week.

• Shelve your gel or foam cleansers and choose creamy or milk-based ones.

• Apply your sunscreen 20 minutes before heading outside.

• Shelve alcohol-based toners and choose moisture-infusing sprays and toners.

• Shelve your nighttime lotion and choose a nighttime cream.

Most of us shower, bathe and even wash our faces in water that is too hot. “Stop this!” says Dr. Heather Rogers, a U.S.-based doctor. “It is not good for your skin or the world we live in. All these steps dry out your skin and strip away your natural oils,” making you a candidate for a scaly and dry epidermis.

KEEP YOUR SCREEN SAVER ON Fall sun may play a good game of hide and seek, but you still need to cover exposed skin from head to toe in a broad spectrum SPF that protects you from its UVA (aging) and UVB (burning) rays. Take Health Canada’s advice:

• Shelve clay-based, sweat- and oil-eliminating masks and choose hydrating ones fuelled with soothing and moisturiz ing ingredients like rose, aloe vera, honey and shea butter.

7 ADRIANA ERMTER is a Toronto-based, lifestyle-magazine pro who has travelled the globe writing about must-spritz fragrances, child poverty, beauty and grooming.

“WHAT LOOKED FLUSHED AND HEALTHY LAST MONTH NOW LOOKS DULL AND WORN OUT – BUT THERE’S A QUICK FIX.”

Is the news cycle stressing you out?

WORKATPRIDE

8 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER MISOGYNY, HOMOPHOBIATHENEST

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

By Luis Augusto Nobre

The misogyny dressed as homophobia – or, as some members say, preferences – affects not just us, but also contaminates our relations.

It has always been like that. When poor women were burned and killed on charges of witchcraft, the accusers were trying to control their bodies and rights. Easy to blame them and play with local societies, controlling minds and behaviours. Pure misogyny.

LUIS AUGUSTO NOBRE is the marketing and communications coordinator of Pride at Work Canada/Fierté au travail Canada, a leading national non-profit organization that promotes workplace inclusion on the grounds of gender expression, gender identity and sexual orientation. For more information, visit prideatwork.ca.

I could spend the whole article sharing some historical contexts of how queer and trans folks have experienced celebrations and prejudice through the centuries and in different regions of the planet. But for what? As I am not a specialist in history despite my expertise in the field, I prefer to explore another topic – where homophobia comes from – and try to plant a seed related to previous and necessary steps to break this vicious circle.

I have seen some public reactions, even including the detention of some politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who participated

I am not afraid to assume that I would be one of the persecuted people by my own peers in the medieval age, based on the current reaction from some people in my surroundings. Breaking up the stereotypes is so rewarding. I am already considered unwelcomed to discuss the fragile and toxic masculinity that affects straight and gay men. You might feel a little bit uncomfortable if you have read my words so far. If you do, you might need to question where you hide your own misogyny, and use that information to transform your relations.

Many people think they are superior because of their passability (awful word, by the way) as straight people, their sexual preferences in bed, and their exaggerated masculinity. Then those who are on the other side of gay identities are not experiencing homophobia within our communities. Rather, they experience misogyny, which creates many challenges, traumas, exclusion and toxic relationships.

What has inspired me to write these words is the misogyny of how women and gender rights have been attacked by some conservative people in so many different places and on different levels. What happened in the United States last June, when the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, was outrageous. Canada and the US have some similarities, but I am relieved by their differences. Despite not living in the United States, the overturn of Roe v. Wade made me so angry and frustrated. I also became afraid of the possible spread of this conservative wave, a topic that I have already shared in this magazine, to affect other rights. Witnessing a small group of people making important and historic decisions for others without considering – or caring about – the impact that it could create on marginalized groups is frustrating. These feelings haven’t dissipated even after seeing other countries condemning the US Supreme Court decision and expressing how it violates women’s rights and impacts people’s lives.

I am not even touching on lesbophobia, biphobia or transphobia –other chapters in the misogynistic pattern that lives on us.

9 in a pro-choice demonstration. Those with money might not care about the decision and won’t be affected, as they never have been before. It could be an excuse for a trip, or a private and expensive medical appointment. Other groups will face social issues in a different way, including the high risks of death.

Usually, (straight) men trying to control people who want to live a different life. Could you see some correlation with homophobia and transphobia? They come from the same origin.

As an immigrant, I am still learning about legislation and politics in this country, trying to build a different and more inclusive settlement process. One of the reasons that I decided to come to Canada is the sense of equality and protection ensured by some laws and civil rights, including the right to abortion and queer inclusion. A place where I can live my authenticity, although I am aware that there is a lack of protection for some people and a long process to recognize new civil rights for marginalized groups.

I usually avoid writing in the first person for essays about a complex topic, but it won’t happen for this piece because I am tired. I am so tired of reading the latest news impacting minority groups in Canada and worldwide. I might be a bit repetitive or simplistic; however, it is really complex to react differently.

I am not sure if you are also tired or if you share these similar feelings, but this tiredness is different from how you feel when you are looking forward to a good long sleep, or relaxing in a sunny park after a stressful day. It is different because it also makes me angry, and this anger doesn’t take my sight away. It motivates me to continue working on this journey towards an equitable future.

I question myself how much of that behaviour is also my fault for (unconsciously) reproducing their retrograde models. We have the power to remodel our society and build better interpersonal relations, but we keep the same standards created by other people ages ago. Inside our own gay community (I am now addressing our own guilt), it is not that different, and we act like our straight peers.

“BREAKING UP THE STEREOTYPES IS SO REWARDING.”

It is why so many LGBTQIA+ activities in the United States and worldwide are concerned with the recent news from American politics. Even here in Canada. The conservative wave in our southern neighbour could change the rulings that protect samesex marriage, same-sex relationships, and contraception. We are experiencing the past becoming a future reality. Will it just be a matter of time until obscurantism takes over again and ends all advances in human rights protection?

For a while now, I have been working directly with 2SLGBTQIA+ inclusion, helping others and myself to create more inclusive work environments for queer and trans people. My conversations with family, friends, colleagues and strangers will, I hope, help us to live in a better place, throwing down the barriers experienced by so many folks because they want to live their true selves. Right now, it is indispensable to stop reproducing specific models that harass and prosecute those who have always been marginalized.

WORKATPRIDE

KAREN KWAN is a freelance health, travel and lifestyle writer based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter at @healthswellness and on Instagram at @healthandswellness.

2. Check and track your heart rate The Heart app allows you to check your heart rate any time. You can also opt to enable heart health notifications, which will notify you if you experience high or low heart rates, or irregular heart rhythms. Has your heart rate ever raced while you appear to be at rest? Your Apple Watch will give you a tap on the wrist with an alert to let you know.

A mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and depression, and to improve your cognitive abilities and memory. The Mindfulness app prompts you to spend a few minutes a day to centre yourself through breathing exercises.

10 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER WELLNESS&HEALTH

5. Develop a mindfulness practice

3. Take care of your hearing With the Noise app, your Apple Watch’s microphone measures ambient sound levels around you and times the duration of exposure. If the decibel level rises to a point that can potentially damage your hearing, you’ll get a tap on the wrist.

7. Wash away germs properly

6. Get your zzz’s Who else is guilty about not prioritizing sleep? If watching just one more episode of The Boys before you hit the sack is your usual routine (even though it means you won’t get enough sleep), then you need to download the Sleep app. With this app, you set bedtime schedules to help ensure you meet your sleep goal. When you wear your Apple Watch to sleep, it’ll track your sleeping and show you how much sleep you are actually getting each night.

Make use of this smartwatch’s features for a health boost

8. Monitor your heart health

Although washing our hands thoroughly should have always been a habit, it’s become paramount the past couple of years. The Apple Watch automatically detects when you start handwashing and starts a 20-second timer so you can be confident you’re spending enough time washing germs away.

stand up, and offers daily targets to meet for each ring, so you can’t help but be active throughout your day.

With the ECG app, you can take an electrocardiogram; the app uses the Watch’s electric heart sensor to record your heartbeat and rhythm and checks for atrial fibrillation (a form of irregular rhythm). Speak to your doctor about whether this would be a beneficial feature for you; he or she can also share how to interpret your app’s recordings. Cardiologist Dr. Heather Ross at Toronto’s University Health Network is currently leading a study researching whether the Apple Watch can help with identifying heart failure early.

By Karen Kwan

4. Keep moving with the Activity app Long periods of sedentary behaviour (even if you exercise regularly) have been called the new smoking. Once you start regularly using the Activity app, you’ll quickly become obsessed with closing your three rings (Move, Exercise and Stand). The app prompts you to IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH WITH AN APPLE WATCH

1. Set up fall detection Fall detection is automatically enabled if you’re over the age of 65, but even if you’re younger, it’s still worth setting this up for your own safety. Perhaps you live alone or work out solo. Or, if you fall while hiking somewhere that’s not well trafficked, for example, the Apple Watch will detect your fall and make it easy for you to call for help.

For several years, I used my Apple Watch to tell the time, read text messages quickly and track my runs using the NRC app. If you’re in the same boat – using it just for the basics – you’re missing out. Spend a little time getting to know your Watch and what it has to offer, and it’ll quickly become an essential tool in your healthy routine. Here are eight ways you can use your Apple Watch to boost your health.

Although HIV stigma began in the 1980s, it is still a large part of life for those living with HIV today. One Toronto-based drag queen is hoping to squash the stigma, and we recently had a chance to sit down with her. “My story sort of starts in late ’89. That’s when I became HIV positive. I was a little scared to go get tested, so I didn’t go until the summer of 1990. And, you know, back then, it was still a death sentence,” explained drag recording artist and HIV activist Jade Elektra, who recently took part in ViiV Healthcare’s HIV in View – Live at AIDS2022, where she was a panellist in a segment titled “Facing HIV Stigma 40 Years Later.”

Ultimately, it will take a conversation and a deep understanding of HIV to rid society of HIV stigma. But if we all work together, we can make a real difference in people’s lives!

THESILENCINGHIVSTIGMA

Jade Elektra leaves us with some closing remarks. “The message for ‘undetectable’ needs to be hammered; it needs to be a commercial. It needs to be on the news. We need someone who can go and talk about this and make it a normal thing.”

HIV is a virus that affects more than 60,000 Canadians, yet there are still so many myths surrounding the condition and it remains shrouded in stigma.

“Back when I was first diagnosed,” she continued, “there were a lot of things that could have happened to me in Florida. Back then, you could lose your job, lose your apartment. And people didn’t know how it was transmitted. They didn’t want to drink after you. They didn’t want to touch anything that you had touched.”

These are all the same feelings that keep many people from revealing their HIV-positive status – or even getting tested for HIV – as they feel society will judge them negatively.

When she found out she was HIV positive, she was so scared she decided to leave everything she knew behind.

And this is a problem in itself. HIV stigma is rooted in fear of what is associated with contracting the virus. And while the spread of information about HIV has increased, there are still many

One drag queen’s mission to raise awareness Above: Jade Elektra (Photo by Elliott Tilleczek)

Many people still feel that fear and discrimination today. In fact, the Positive Perspectives Survey found that 90 per cent of Canadian respondents had experienced stigma recently. Eventually, this creates a “self-stigma” where the person takes society’s negative stereotypes and begins applying them to themselves. This leads to feelings of shame, isolation, fear of disclosure, and despair. The Positive Perspectives Survey found that discrimination and HIV stigma affect both the mental and emotional well-being of a person living with this condition. Nearly 33 per cent of Canadians with HIV reported feeling shame and guilt.

If you’d like to learn more about HIV stigma or how experts plan to end AIDS as a public health threat by 2030, check out the AIDS2022 Conference at aids2022.org or the Positive Perspectives Survey (go to viivhealthcare.com and click “Community Engagement”).

11 COMMUNITY

misconceptions about how it’s transmitted and what it means for someone to live with the condition today. This is why one of Jade Elektra’s favourite HIV movements is U Equals U. This movement is about spreading the word that when HIV-positive patients achieve and maintain undetectable amounts of HIV in their blood, they cannot sexually transmit HIV to others. This makes HIV treatment the most powerful tool against the spread of this disease.

“Oh, the catalyst for me leaving Florida [where she lived at the time] was that I did not want my family to find out that I was HIV positive. Tampa, where I’m from, was a small place. It’s a lot bigger now, but everyone knew everyone on the scene.

TO LGBTQ2+

I find myself constantly self-editing when I’m out and about in my neighbourhood. Before I even leave the house, I consider who I might run into and carefully select the clothes I choose to wear, occasionally avoiding the bold and bright colours I’m naturally drawn to for fear of attracting unwanted attention. I sometimes catch myself switching to a lower tone of voice when I’m talking on the phone to sound “less gay” when people are around me. I wear sunglasses on days when the sun is barely shining so I won’t get caught looking at a cute guy as he passes by, in case he might take offence.

12 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER PERSPECTIVE

IN Magazine’s Jumol Royes with his mother and sister

I live in Vaughan, a city that is located just above Toronto, with Steeles Avenue West serving as its southern boundary. My family moved here from north Etobicoke when I was a teenager getting ready to enter high school. Having immigrated to Canada from Jamaica in search of new opportunities in the late 1960s and early 1970s, buying their first home in Vaughan was part and parcel of my mom and dad’s dream of building a better life for my older sister and me.

I can vividly remember attending Mass with my family at our local Catholic church in the early 2000s when same-sex marriage was a hot-button issue. I sat in a pew on Sunday mornings surrounded by a congregation composed of my fellow community members, a majority of whom were openly opposed to gay marriage and The rainbow crosswalk I championed – a very visible symbol of progress and pride – made me feel free to be my true self By Jumol notRoyesshy about expressing their views. I tried to stay neutral on the subject while wrestling with feelings of shame, soaking up and internalizing homophobia and questioning whether I was a sinner in need of repentance.

Sometimes a crosswalk is more than just a crosswalk.

Today, I’m an out and proud gay Black man still living in Vaughan. Yet even though I try my best to live my life authentically, there are moments when my community still doesn’t feel welcoming to people like me.

Living in this constant state of hyper-vigilance is something I just can’t seem to shake…and it’s exhausting.

It’s not hard to see what made the city so attractive to my parents: it’s one of Canada’s largest municipalities and a vibrant and prosperous community with a diverse population. But for someone like me, who was silently exploring his sexuality and processing his sexual orientation, I didn’t always feel like I belonged.

HOW I MADE MY COMMUNITY MORE WELCOMING FOLKS

JUMOL ROYES is IN Magazine’s director of communications and community engagement, a GTA-based storyteller and glass-half-full kinda guy. He writes about compassion, community, identity and belonging. His guilty pleasure is watching the Real Housewives. Follow him on Twitter at @Jumol and on Instagram at @jumolroyes.

The unveiling of the rainbow crosswalk in Vaughan 13 I was overjoyed when a good friend of mine visited me during the pandemic, and we decided to go on a nature walk in North Maple Regional Park on the Oak Ridges Moraine, a short drive from my house. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, and it felt good to kiki and laugh. When he dropped me back home, we stood on my driveway chatting for a bit before it was finally time to say goodbye. We then gave each other a platonic peck on the lips followed by a long, lingering hug, as is the custom in many gay friendships. But I hesitated for a moment: what if my neighbours were watching? What would they think? Would they judge me or think of me differently? In the fall of 2020, the City of Vaughan was recruiting residents for a new task force to “provide guidance to the city in the development of policies that promote fairness, mutual respect and an undoubted sense of inclusion among the diverse individuals, communities and stakeholder groups that compose its population.” After some deep reflection, I decided to apply and was appointed to the Diversity and Inclusion Task Force.

One of the initiatives that I championed as a member of the task force was the installation of a rainbow crosswalk in Vaughan. With support from the city’s first-ever diversity and inclusion officer, as well as the council and mayor, the crosswalk was approved earlier this year. This very visible symbol of progress and pride signals the city’s commitment to making certain that Vaughan is a welcoming, safe and affirming community for all – but symbolism has its limits.

If that feeling ever starts to fade, I hope to remind myself that while rainbows come and go, and happiness does too, the day of the unveiling, today and every day I am loved, and that is forever true.

I attended the official unveiling of the rainbow crosswalk at City Hall during Pride Month with my sister and my mom, who sometimes still struggles to come to terms with my sexuality. It was a testament to just how far we’ve come on our journey together. And that made my heart happy.

I felt a profound sense of pride knowing that I played a small part in making the city’s first rainbow crosswalk a reality. As a teen growing up in Vaughan and feeling out of place, I could never have imagined that I would one day be instrumental in bringing a crosswalk painted in the colours of the Progress Pride flag to my city. Every visitor to City Hall from now on will walk across the crosswalk and be reminded that it symbolizes support and acceptance for the LGBTQ2+ community.

When I got home from the unveiling ceremony, I went for a walk around my neighbourhood and felt empowered to sing out loud to the lyrics of “Be Me,” the Queer Eye Season 5 theme song (“That’s all I need/A reminder that I could be free/To turn in the pain/Just let go of the feeling/Let go, I need some healing/It’s so clear to see/I was waiting on me to be me”).

I walked past people with the sun shining high overhead and happy tears streaming down my face. I felt freer and lighter than I’d felt in a very long time. The emotional burden of worrying about what people might think or say had lifted, or at least shifted. It was like a little piece inside of me healed that day.

I saw it as an opportunity to have a seat at the table and to help ensure that marginalized, racialized and vulnerable communities felt seen, heard and understood, and knew that their lives and lived experiences mattered.

PERSPECTIVE

The rainbow crosswalk will live up to its full potential only when

it’s paired with meaningful actions reflecting inclusive values, like providing specialized services, supports and safe spaces for LGBTQ2+ residents.

FINDING YOUR VOICE

Photo by Matt Botsford on Unsplash

14 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER VOICES These simple exercises for trans and nonbinary individuals will help develop your gendered voice to match your gendered expression

By Sam Malone

Recently, with more people coming out as trans or nonbinary, spoken voice coaches have taken their skills in vocal development, character voice and gender expression to help create the field of gender-affirming voice. Some speech therapists are learning and working in gender-affirming voice now as well. However, as this is a new and dynamic field and each person’s voice and circumstances are so vastly different, there is much to learn in this new field of expertise. As well, it is very difficult to access gender-affirming voice work outside of major cities, and arguably outside of the UK.

Step 3: Activate your breath After breathing into your belly, now begin to exhale on a loose ‘F’ sound as in ‘France.’ You do not want this F sound to be too audible in the beginning. It should be loose and barely audible, but you should also have a good amount of air pressure behind your exhale. Repeat inhaling into your belly, and exhaling on a loose F sound, for one to two minutes. Then slowly start to make the F sound more audible, so a bit tighter. See if you can extend your F exhale to five seconds, then 10 seconds, 15 seconds and 20 seconds. It may take time to build up to a 20-second F exhale. This also shows you will need to work on building your vocal support muscles to help with gender-affirming voice work.

Feminizing the voice Gently hum at a comfortable pitch. Try to feel your voice on the roof of your mouth. Can you direct it there? If not, that’s okay. Sometimes it helps to put a few fingers on your upper lip, and direct your voice to your fingers through your upper lip. What happens if you gently go up in pitch? Is it easier here for you? Try to find a comfortable pitch that allows you to feel your voice on the roof of your mouth. Do not go to the top of your range at this time. Remember, voice work should feel easy. Try a few times, feeling your sound here for five to 10 seconds. If you are successful, try sending your voice into that spot while speaking. Masculinizing the voice Gently hum at a comfortable pitch. Place one hand on your chest. Try to place your sound into your chest where your hand is, while maintaining a comfortable pitch. If you cannot feel your sound there, then you can try slowly lowering your pitch. This may help a bit. However, make sure you are not at the bottom of your vocal range; you could injure your voice if you try to force your voice down. Try a few times, feeling your sound here for five to 10 seconds. If you are successful, try sending your voice into that spot while speaking.

2) Public speaking/elocution coaches teach you how to present; however, they can’t address issues with the voice such as audibility and monotone sound.

3) Spoken voice coaches are professionals who work with actors, politicians, lawyers, teachers and many other people who use their voices a lot. The spoken voice coach combines the skills of a speech therapist (but is not medically focused) with the skills of an elocution coach, and adds a level of vocal development and artistry found in the dramatic arts to make expert speakers and performers. For example, the Obamas, Hillary Clinton and other major politicians have had spoken voice coaches. As well, many actors have had spoken voice training to be more expressive with their voices, as well as help them to reach the back of a theatre without yelling or injuring their voice because they’re trying to project without using a microphone.

This article will provide a few basic exercises to help individuals begin their gender-affirming vocal journey.

The first thing to consider when doing any form of speaking is your posture. If you are slouching, and/or jutting your chin forward, you will unlikely be able to support the vocal demands of voice work, and this may cause vocal injury. Yes, when your parents went on about your posture, it was actually for a reason.

Step 1: Find your posture Sit comfortably in a chair. Notice if your habit is to slouch, or if you push your chin forward (which is usually caused by prolonged time on mobile devices). After you notice your habit, sit up nice and tall, in a relaxed manner. It may take time to build the muscles in your back to support this kind of seated position.

In the world of spoken voice, there are traditionally three types of professionals.

Step 2: Find your breath While seated, uncross your legs, and place one hand on your belly button. As you inhale, feel your belly button push outward, and as you exhale, feel your belly button pull towards your spine. This does not need to be an aggressive movement, nor should it be overly forced. The goal is to let your breath drop deeper into your body, in a relaxed and natural fashion. This breathing is very similar to the diaphragmatic breathing found in yoga and other Eastern traditions. Spend a few breaths breathing into your belly, noting the difference in how you feel as you breathe deeper.

Step 4: Hum gently To start, recheck your posture and your belly breathing. Now slowly begin humming gently on an ‘M’ sound. Start at a comfortable pitch for you. Where can you feel the vibrations of your voice in your mouth? It is normal not to feel any vibrations at first; it will come with time and practice. Once you are humming, gently play up and down in your pitch. Don’t go too high or too low; we’re looking for a comfortable practice. Voice work should never feel hard: if it is, you are doing something wrong, and are likely to get injured. We will now break down the humming practice into two sections: feminizing and masculinizing.

15 SAM MALONE is the main spoken voice tutor on the Musical Theatre programme at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama in London, UK. Sam also works with Gendered Intelligence, the largest charity for gender diversity. He is passionate about helping people reclaim their voices in all walks of life. For more information, visit www.elevatevoice.co.uk.

VOICES

1) Speech and language pathologists deal with medically related vocal issues. This includes swallowing issues, stutters, vocal rehabilitation after an injury, etc., but focuses less on the expression of the voice in terms of gender and oration/performance.

To start gender-affirming voice work, it is important to start with the basics. Although these exercises may seem very basic, they will help condition your voice for later, more demanding work. That conditioning is important, because jumping ahead with genderaffirming voice work without knowing the basics can lead to serious injury, as your voice may not be ready for the vocal demands you are placing on it. This could lead to issues such as a larynx that is stuck in one spot, vocal nodes or loss of voice.

16 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBERHEALTH Wait times and opacity: Problems with Ontario’s current healthcare system in particular have exacerbated its shortcomings for the trans community

By Warren Urquhart

Photo by Miguel Ausejo on Unsplash

CHALLENGES TO CHALLENGESGENDER-AFFIRMINGRECEIVINGCAREINCANADATORECEIVINGGENDER-AFFIRMINGCAREINCANADA

17 HEALTH

Extended wait times are no strangers to transgender folk. In Ziegler’s practice, she has found that the period in which OHIP approves gender-affirming surgery has gone from six to eight weeks, to around seven to eight months. And Ziegler has to wait until that approval has been received before she can refer her patients to a surgeon, where they will be placed on yet another waitlist.

Today, health care in Canada, especially Ontario, is not in good health. Our healthcare system, which promises (and often delivers) free point-of-service care, has long been a point of pride for Canadians. That pride is falling amid crises ravaging healthcare workers and patients from sea to shining sea. Emergency rooms and ICUs are being closed sporadically – and in the emergency rooms that remain open, patients are experiencing long wait times, and even longer wait times to get admitted to hospital (currently, an average of 20.1 hours).

That lack of information is a theme: a lack of curriculum for healthcare practitioners to learn about providing care to nonbinary and trans folk, and a lack of information for nonbinary and trans folk themselves to find healthcare practitioners.

There is no short-term resolution in sight for these healthcare quakes. And the crisis, like all those that affect the broader population, hits our most vulnerable populations hardest. Gender-affirming health care in Canada (and Ontario in particular) was never perfect – ask a trans person. Trans PULSE Canada, a national community-based survey on the health and well-being of trans and nonbinary people, found that while trans folk have primary healthcare providers at about the same rate as the general population, 45 per cent of trans and nonbinary people had an unmet healthcare need, which is about 41 per cent higher than in the general population. Things needed to get better before COVID – and instead they got worse. Trans PULSE Canada’s subsequent research found that the pandemic aggravated barriers to healthcare access. The most significant concerns, the study found, appeared to be the rescheduling of surgeries, the unavailability of hormones, and the scarcity of specialist care sometimes required for the provision of gender-affirming services. Erin Ziegler provides gender-affirming care and also advocates and researches in this area as an assistant professor at the Toronto Metropolitan University’s Daphne Cockwell School for Nursing, and a nurse practitioner at Queen Square Family Health Team. A nationally renowned trans healthcare practitioner and advocate, she knows the challenges facing trans and nonbinary folk all too well: “Access to gender-affirming care is still a huge barrier.… [The pandemic] highlighted those existing barriers and existing challenges the trans population was already facing.”

Ziegler, of course, is an expert on providing gender-affirming care, but the general lack of education in the medical community about transgender health care is another issue. In an interview last year, trans organizer Fae Johnston told CTV News that “most physicians don’t know that [they can prescribe hormones], and don’t feel like they have the knowledge and skills, necessarily, to provide care to trans folks.”

Ziegler echoes that concern: “There’s still not a lot of emphasis on trans health and trans health issues in health curriculum.… Healthcare providers don’t know a lot about it.”

Brampton-based Wise Elephant Family Health Team, known for its service to the trans and nonbinary community, was closed in 2021 because of a lack of funding from the Ontario government.

Kaito either had trouble finding those resources, or when they did, found they were outdated.

Fortunately, Kaito eventually found great information about genderaffirming health care in Ontario through other trans and nonbinary people. The trans community on Reddit and similar forums pointed Kaito to South River Community Health Centre. Kaito’s experience there has been a positive one – but while the online trans and nonbinary folk provided a wealth of information, that’s no excuse for the lack of “official” sources on gender-affirming care.

WARREN URQUHART is a soon-to-be consumer protection lawyer finishing up the licensing process in Ontario. When he’s not writing or working, he’s drinking coffee or lifting weights (sometimes at the same time!).

And it certainly doesn’t help when Ontario closes the doors of healthcare providers known for quality gender-affirming care.

“EXTENDED WAIT TIMES ARE NO STRANGERS TO TRANSGENDER FOLK.” “EXTENDED WAIT TIMES ARE NO STRANGERS TO TRANSGENDER FOLK.”

We have seen some bright spots when it comes to information: in 2021, Canada became the first country to collect census data on transgender and nonbinary people. But even then, researchers like Ziegler are funding studies out of their own pocket because of the lack of resources available. The aforementioned Trans PULSE Canada research provided great insights – but money is needed if we want to see further informative projects in the same vein, and break the opacity surrounding transgender Canadians. It is important to fix the above problems for transgender and nonbinary Canadians, because they deserve health care just like everyone else. But aside from health care, funding is needed to disseminate information about that health care to those who provide it, research it and receive it. Those in power must act today, even though these problems should have been addressed far before yesterday.

Even the journey to the doors (or Zoom waiting room) of a healthcare provider known for providing gender-affirming care can be bumpy. Kaito, 27 (they/them), is a Greater Toronto Areabased trans-masc social worker who has been transitioning for over a year. Kaito self-describes as someone who has been relatively privileged in their transition – but even that privilege couldn’t fill some of the glaring gaps in gender-affirming care. The first barrier Kaito noticed was information: the who, what, where and whens of transgender health care were hard to find for potential patients.

SEX-NEGATIVITYPRACTISING SEX

But aside from that, sex-positivity is about so much more than horniness or embracing kink; it also serves to create safety around a topic that has been used throughout history to demonize women and queer people. Sex-positivity is also about destigmatizing STIs, openly discussing our trauma in sex through supportive dialogue, and even helping to coach us with communicating boundaries in what we simply do and do not feel comfortable with sexually.

SOME OF YOU NEED TO START

That’s not sexual liberation, that’s rape culture.

18 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER

Yes, we are all hornier now than ever before, and who can blame us after having our sense of touch be deprived as the result of not one but two global pandemics? After all, during lockdown, who among us didn’t get day drunk and DM a hot actor from the CW Network asking them if you could drink their bathwater like it’s the leftover milk from a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? (KJ Apa: if you are reading this, I genuinely apologize.) But that doesn’t excuse us from forgetting to acknowledge the necessity of consent when we navigate our horniness openly.

The role of social media has created space for people to openly (sometimes too openly) express our yearning libidinousness on platforms to an audience of hundreds of friends, colleagues, peers, co-workers and people you went to high school with but don’t talk to anymore yet don’t wanna unfollow because their semi-monthly emotional breakdowns are actually really amusing.

While it can be constructive to help people (if they ask for it, that is!) expand their palate for pleasure when it comes to acts they may not have experimented with before, it is equally valid to accept when they tell you they do not feel comfortable getting their ass eaten and to drop the conversation right then and there.

Failure to do so may have you rendered a prude, and shamed for having objections towards acts that do not bring you the same pleasure as they do for your partner. When we view positivity as always saying yes, we strip people of their freedom to say no.

Is…is the “No Kink at Pride” discourse over? Is it safe to come out yet?

Sex-positivity, coined by the late Austrian psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich during his studies in 1927, has morphed from being a Marxist ideology of bodily autonomy into a get-out-of-jail-free-card excuse for being furiously horny at all times and places. This is one of the most recent victims of the plague of sociological terminologies being divorced from their conceptual definitions through the tumblrfication of language. While this may seem like a common vexation of everyday jargon, the watering down of language from radical movements has been proven to effectively hinder said movements by distorting the public eye’s perception of them; it can be argued that the term “feminism” has never fully recovered from being exploited by the neoliberal girlbossification of 2014.

With that comes a dire need for properly navigating just where it may be appropriate (or not) to announce what a mind-blowing experience the threesome of you had on Remembrance Day. For future reference: being horny on Twitter is not only acceptable but encouraged; being horny on Instagram is kinda cringe and uncomfortable unless your followers know what they’re signing up for in advance; being horny on Facebook is just absolutely psychotic and unhinged; but being horny on LinkedIn? Now that is a power move, baby!!!

It is here where we find the dangerous intersection of sex-positivity and toxic-positivity, where we as complex individuals are expected to share the same eagerness and appreciation for sometimes extreme sexual acts that may be frightening and even physically harmful.

By Jesse Boland

Furthermore, the belief that a person’s sex life is the one aspect of human behaviour that should be immune to criticism is an alarming concept. If someone were to tell you that they like to add piss to their oatmeal in the morning because they like the tangy kick it brings to the flavour, you would likely think that is extreme weirdo behaviour and consider rescheduling brunch at their place this weekend. Yet were that same person to share that they regularly participate in watersports – the sexual act of giving or receiving urine orally – you might be scrutinized for having a similar stance on the act, purely on the basis that critiquing another person’s sex life is intrinsically kink-shaming.

Before I start, let me first state that I am proudly a slut. Indeed, I’m a hoe, I’m a freak (the clinic is sending me results at the end of the week). But above all else, I am a hater. I create my own rainbows by raining on other people’s parades and at times feel the need to dismantle blind sentiments of positivity, and in today’s case, sex-positivity – or rather, what has blindly become perceived as sex-positivity. In a culture that insists on convincing us that we are all “free” even while the trajectory of our lives is determined by credit scores, it can’t help but be pondered how much of our relationships with sex is by the agency of our natural libidos and how much by the hundreds of unnecessarily sexualized advertisements that non-consensually penetrate our minds daily?

SEX

The absolutist belief that all sexual acts are equally valid and healthy is not only reductive but may even, if not checked, allow for the perpetuation of predatory behaviour. Sexuality is possibly the most multifaceted aspect of our human psyche, and conversations – even more critical ones – are fundamental in addressing the validity of our relations to sex. That’s not to say that those with more alternative sexual interests should be reprimanded or made to feel ashamed of their personal pleasures, but simply to be mindful that others are entitled to have their own opinions on the same matter in the same way they do about putting pineapple on pizza.

There is also the sex industry, an admittedly somewhat grim monument to the commodification of the human body that can be liberating and financially freeing for many, yet still caters to an abusive system of exploitation and violence. It is here where we must differentiate between the concepts of destigmatization and normalization. Where destigmatization serves to effectively assert human dignity towards those who have been perniciously marginalized from vilifying traditional understanding of acceptability, the act of normalizing is to blindly accept cultural norms without thinking more deeply as to why they have come to exist.

While sex-work is a fully valid form of labour and those who work in it are as entitled to every aspect of respect and dignity as those in any other field of work should be, this work is still dangerous and carries with it many unexpected long-term consequences for those who are not prepared for it. Neoliberalism is no stranger to the world of sex-trafficking, and with the increased popularity of platforms such as OnlyFans, more and more young people are

What we learn about consent in our sex lives may be applied to all realms of our social being with understandings for respect, dignity, and the act of offering a towel afterwards. It is with this sentiment that I pray that the concept of constructive sex-negativity may help to create peace between the kink-community and the hater-community, and that we may all find peace together in the sanctuary of the green circle on Instagram.

Photo by Sergey Vinogradov on Unsplash JESSE BOLAND is that gay kid in class who your English teacher always believed in. He’s a graduate of English at Ryerson University (now Toronto Metropolitan University) who has a passion for giving a voice to people who don’t have data on their phones and who chases his dreams by foot because he never got his driver’s licence. being lured into the world of sex-work under the belief that it is their own choice and not the result of media brainwashing teaching teenagers that their bodies are to be consumed for commercial gain. Sex is here and it’s not going anywhere, but what we choose to do with it is our decision to make. While women are continuously labelled as loose for their pride in taking agency of their owned pleasure, and queer people are vilified as groomers, sex-positivity has never been more fundamental to our survival. From that, though, it is imperative that we are responsible in what is truly integral in our fight for the radical liberation of bodily autonomy vs. what is simply being horny on main. When we speak openly with our friends and partners about our unique journeys with pleasure, we create space for education and acceptance for what we were once told to feel only shame for. But when we tweet Chace Crawford asking him to blink twice if his bussy grips tight alike to that of a subspecies of Burmese python located in the lower-grasslands area of the Guangxi region of China and he needs you to test it to research the behavioural habits of endangered Southeast Asian reptiles, your account will get suspended for 48 hours (trust me on this one…).

20 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER MY

By Victoria

Everyone’sPereraCOVID

STORYMY

During the pandemic, I went through nine surgeries and used face masks to help cover my transition

Living alone for the first time was going to be an adjustment all in itself. Telling my friends and family, my kids, and everyone else I knew that I was no longer Victor and was now a woman, was going to be a whole other level of new experience I was not ready for. Throw in a pandemic, and my whole world was just about to turn into a roller coaster without brakes and a delinquent ride operator on an extended break.

THANEXPERIENCECOVIDWASDIFFERENTYOURS

experience was different, but there were also lots of similarities as well. Social isolation, boredom and, likely, excessive amounts of Netflix, to name a few. My COVID experience was somewhat unique. I went into the pandemic as a man and came out of it as a woman. No, no, it wasn’t one of the side effects of the vaccination; it just happened to coincide with my transition. See, I’m a transgender woman, or transwoman for short. I lived most of my life as Victor: 6’2”, six-pack-toting alpha male Serbian strongman douchebag. I was good at pretending to be all things boy. I did ‘boy’ so well, that others seemed to think I was a ladies’ man when, in fact, I was just a lady. So, just as I came out, a worldwide pandemic became our new reality and everyone was told to stay indoors, isolate as much as possible, and wear masks to protect ourselves and others. My work as an appraiser had me starting to work from home, living by myself due to a divorce, and wearing a mask to cover my 5 o’clock shadow. Oh, and also to protect others and myself.

After the initial hoopla settled and my new reality started to take shape, I kept most of my friends, some of my family, and even my job. The world was now in full lockdown. I started to write,

VICTORIA PERERA is a 46-year-old transwoman living in Toronto. She is a residential appraiser, gym fanatic, parent to two young boys, aspiring writer/public speaker, and runway model.

later, it seems to be working and my story has helped a few people. The lockdown gave me enough cover to go through the hardest time in transition, the beginning stages. It’s when I was most unsure and least passable. It was the most stressful, but also the most euphoric. Being ‘forced’ to wear a mask when everyone had to wear one was the perfect chance to live my life out in public getting groceries while being protected from the ridicule I was sure I would face. Of course, my imagination is always worse than the reality, but that mask was a godsend when I was recovering from surgery A or laser appointment B. Going into COVID with a boy face and the ability to grow a beard, and now having a feminine face and no beard, is quite the shock to those who haven’t seen me during the pandemic. Of course, the pandemic isn’t fully over; lots of people suffered from it and many died as well. I am most definitely not making light of such a terrible world event. I just tried to do the best for me that I could, given the circumstance I was faced with. I didn’t choose to be trans. I didn’t choose to have this pandemic. Much of me wishes that neither was my reality. We don’t get to choose the cards we are dealt in life. What we do get to choose is what we do with them, how we play them, and how we react to the outcomes of our choices. I chose to be me. The rest, as they say, is herstory.

HRT, or hormone replacement therapy, for a transwoman at least, is a combination of testosterone blockers and estrogen. Slowly but surely, they help change a boy body into a more feminine shape. My emotions all over the place, body fat in new places, and a million other changes taking place – but, as they say in showbiz, hurry up and wait. It takes forever and I’m the opposite of a patient soul. I needed boobies now. HRT wasn’t going to turn my boy face into a girl one overnight. I was, at this point, not even close to passing as a woman. Thankfully, I had my mask to shield me both from COVID and from many unwelcome stares from strangers. I had an epiphany: I would get surgery to help speed up the process and change the things I know HRT wouldn’t be able to help with.

We all went into COVID one way and came out at the other end different. Maybe you are more tentative than you used to be. Maybe you’re the exact opposite. Some people see it as a wakeup call. Live every day like we will get shut down again, because maybe we will. I went into COVID as a married man with two kids living in the burbs. Maybe there was no white picket fence, but it was the heteronormative dream we are all fed as children. From the time I was eight years old, I knew I was different from the other boys, but I also knew I had to protect myself in a world I thought would never accept me – and a family I knew never would – as the girl I was back in the ’80s. I didn’t know COVID was coming. Hell, I didn’t even know I was trans until just over three years ago.

First thing I did was my face, then my boobs. Yada yada yada and finally bottom surgery in Montreal. All completed in 375 days. All during the height of ’Vid, as it’s known. And now – not one, but nine surgeries later, with all the money from the sale of my house gone – I finally feel complete.

STORYMYwrote a whole book even. Then, I started running, but that didn’t take all day. Just like most people in the pandemic, with almost everything shut down I was floundering. I’m not much of a TV watcher, but I am super goal oriented. No more gym, less time with the kids, work didn’t take all day. My mind started to wander.

I used the time I had during the lockdown to do the things I needed to do. Recovering from these surgeries was gruelling and lonely, but at least everyone else was lonely too (however much solace that provided). What better way to spend my alone time: locked away, not fearing missing out because there was nothing to miss out on.

Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner’s story was my catalyst. I just thought I was weird. Seems I am weird, but that has nothing to do with being trans. I started an Instagram page, initially; it was just to look at all the hot Russian models living in Dubai. Then I started posting some stuff there. Figured I would share my story. The only thing I promised myself was that I would be honest and share the good, the bad and the scary surgery pics. A hundred thousand followers

21 “I CHOSE TO BE ME.”

Bonomo is profiled in Road to the Runway, a new docu-series streaming on Here-TV. The show follows 20 women competing to be signed to the leading transgender fashion model agency, Slay Models. It stars supermodel Arisce Wanzer, the first transgender model to be signed to the agency. “I came home from school one day and my mom showed me a post she had found on her Facebook feed about the search, and suggested I apply,” says Bonomo about how she learned about the competition. Bonomo sent in the application along with a few Polaroids, and was contacted by Slay founder Celicio Asuncion. He told her the competition would be filmed for a show and asked if she still wanted to participate. Bonomo says she jumped at the Executive-producedopportunity.

22 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER MODEL LIFE

By Noel Hoffman

Toronto’s Stefania Bonomo slays on TV’s Road to the Runway

TELEVISION

“At a young age, I would flip through fashion magazines and see beautiful women expressing their femininity through photographs,” reflects Stefania Bonomo, a transgender fashion model from Toronto. “Seeing them inspired me, because I, too, wanted to express my own sense of femininity.”

by Asuncion as well as Phil Anthony and RD Alba, and produced by Emmy award-winner David Millbern as well as Paul Colichman, Stephen P. Jarchow and John Mongiardo, Road to the Runway follows the women to their hometowns to uncover their roots: the environments they were reared in and the circumstances that helped shape them into the beautiful, fashionable young women they are today. It is meant to examine the roles that gender, race, socio-economic status and familial approval play in the lives of these young, beautiful women who aim to become fashion’s next supermodel.

“It was weird having my everyday life filmed,” Bonomo says. She was especially concerned when it came to her mother being interviewed for the show. “My mom and I have a very close relationship. We tell each other a lot of things, so before filming, we discussed boundaries of what could and couldn’t be said,” she Bonomolaughs.describes

her early years in Toronto as “pretty normal.” She grew up loud and expressive with two supporting parents and two older sisters. She didn’t have many neighbourhood friends, but at school she was a social butterfly and loved meeting and making new friends. She was active in dance, where she met the person who remains her best friend.

From an early age, Bonomo knew that she was very different. Her first memory of wanting to transition was at eight years old. She waited to pursue any changes, though, largely because of outside perspectives and her own insecurity. As she grew older, she experimented with different personas.

When puberty hit and Bonomo began to see changes in her body, she grew alarmed. She turned to the internet to see if anyone else

Asuncion points out that it takes more than beauty to be a bookable model. It takes determination, grit, and a visceral understanding that the woman is a model first, and trans second. “As is often the case in model competitions, the real challenge is an internal one,” Asuncion says. “It used to be that women reshaped themselves to fit the industry standard, striving to match the idealized version of a Barbie doll. Today’s fashion industry wants to see the real, unfiltered woman beneath the lashes and lipstick.”

“The sky is the limit for young women like Stefania,” Asuncion sums up. “She has the passion and drive to go the extra distance.”

What trans models have in their favour today – unlike any other time in history – is that clients are looking for diversity and representation. Slay models have appeared in campaigns for M.A.C Cosmetics, Hyundai, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue Germany, Macy’s and Savage X Fenty. They have appeared on TV in POSE, Law & Order: SVU, Project Runway and Netflix’s Next in Fashion.

Arisce Wanzer has been featured on TV shows like MTV’s Ex on the Beach, and in campaigns for Marco Marco, Opening Ceremony, Truvada, AT&T, Lululemon and Lucky Jeans.

See for yourself in Road to the Runway, available on Here-TV.

The urge for diversity even accounts for why the show was picked up by the network. “At Here-TV, diversity and inclusion remain the central focus of our programming strategy,” says Millbern. “Producing Road to the Runway gives us the opportunity to honour and explore the lives of these extraordinary trans women, many of whom are also women of colour. Their bravery inspires us.”

NOEL HOFFMAN is a digital media producer, author and freelance journalist for the Daily Collegian, ElectriCITY and the Los Angeles Times. In another lifetime, he was also an actor, singer and teacher, but today, much of his time is consumed with being a single gay dad of two young children.

23 TELEVISIONwas having similar concerns. She found Gigi Gorgeous on YouTube and that led to an epiphany. At 15, Bonomo made the decision to start living life as a woman. “I received a lot of support, which I am extremely grateful for,” she says today. “I know there are people out there who are not in safe places like I was.” Asuncion agrees. “The reality is a majority of our models have struggled their whole lives with living as their authentic true selves. They live in a world where simply walking out of the house takes incredible courage.” Bonomo, too, regularly experiences bigotry from those outside of her comfort bubble. “Ignorance, stupidity, criticism and rejection is something I deal with on a daily basis and have learned to cope with,” she explains. “Being trans and navigating through all of the tough situations matures you a lot. In a year, I feel like I have aged 20 Ironically,years.”the anguish the women encounter could prove an advantage in the harrowing world of fashion. “Courage builds resiliency, and that kind of tenacity is key to surviving the inevitable pitfalls on the Road to the Runway,” Asuncion contends. “The model life is not an easy one. It is filled with unforgiving scrutinization and unavoidable rejection. It’s not for the faint of heart.”

Oh,I’mThe

24 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER LABELS

It’s 2022 and dating is hard enough. There’s a pandemic, an oversaturated market and social media – need I say more? It’s enough to put anyone off even dipping their little toe into the pond, let alone swimming and wading through it. It’s tough out there.

I’m not exactly sure when it happened. But it did: I’ve become the daddy. At least, that was the line text to me after a brief flirtatious conversation with a guy THREE years younger than me. Three! Yes, I’m in my mid-30s. Gulp. Yes, technically I could be a daddy (I’m not.) Yes, I am well aware that I’m past my twink stage, and potentially my gay sell-by date. But when did it become acceptable to skin my fur (I’m an otter, no?) and brand me the daddy? When did we become so obsessed with branding when dating?

If people had been quick to label you before, they were now even quicker to take that label back and stamp a new one onto you. Perhaps it made them feel better, or like they understood you more?

By Daniel Harding Daddy Now?Daddy Now?

But, like all our labels, it was a title that I couldn’t and wouldn’t hold on to. Not just because time was a bastard, but also because of others – other people with their label gun.

I’ve dated, a lot. A mix of casual meets born out of glances from across bars, a free Pret-A-Manger coffee that led to more (thank you, hot barrister) and, of course, dating apps. Multiple dating apps. Frankly, it baffles me: there are so many ways in which we can hook our dates, yet here I sit typing, still single, still in the pond. Still swimming. Dating is a minefield, an ever-changing landscape where you are branded and rebranded daily. People place us in boxes. And throughout all the conversations, the small talk, the photo exchanges and the coffee meet-ups, I’ve recently been left with something bitter on my tongue. Something that was typed out in a message to me during a pre-date screening convo that confirms the evolution of dating as we get older and the evidence that we keep changing our identity during the different stages…

Can I call you Daddy?

Twink, otter, pup, jock, daddy … Whatever happened to just lions, tigers and bears?

Labels have always been something that have made me feel uncomfortable. Literally. When I was younger, my mum used to have to cut those long ones out of my school clothes. I hated them. I would do anything to shake them off, to rid myself of that annoyance. The branding.

Are we labelling too much?

Then, when I came out, suddenly I was to be defined by labels and stereotypes, placing myself into a box that was clarified by age, gender, masculinity, femininity, and my shape. In short, I now needed a tag to continue, an identity to make others feel comfortable knowing exactly what or who I was. It was now a label that could not be cut, severed or neatened, and it would only grow and change. So, I conformed. When I became a ‘twink,’ I embraced it. I enjoyed it. It was a youthful, fun and freeing label that I grew to love. I tried hard to stick to the rules of my new identity. Dieted if I felt like I was losing my shape (idiot), ran (I hate running), and shaved my body…everywhere. I was a smooth, slim, chicken-like human, a twink, and proud (idiot.)

No, sorry, I’m not your Daddy, yet. Have a good day. Delete. Finally, I’d reached my limit. This one would not be sticking. I wouldn’t be embracing it. I wouldn’t be conforming and, quite frankly, I’m annoyed I had up until this point. I realized that I wasn’t his daddy, or indeed that label. I wasn’t a twink either, or perhaps not even an otter – I hated my beard.

The obvious answer screamed and rang around my head like the annoyance of my morning iPhone alarm (why do we all have the same one?) – NO. “No, you cannot call me daddy, or dad, or father, or anything that implies that I’m your family or your taxi or your paycheque or your parent. I’m not.” But I didn’t say that. I laughed (cried) and then responded: Why?

Maybe I never was? Not because of age, smoothness or the rate at which my body hair grew, but simply because I was me. Label free Dating as a part of the LGBTQ+ community is hard. Others can define us. They will put us into boxes, push us to disclose our labels, our tags. Many of us will offer these, and some will like them (I have a friend who loves being called Daddy.) But just because people ask, assume or inquire, doesn’t mean we have to conform. Doesn’t mean we have to adopt the uncomfortable tag in our garments, itching our neck. We don’t.

I expected a profound answer, a mathematical equation that placed me with my new label, in my new (annoying) box. A rebrand and another phase that I was about to have to get comfortable with whilst dating. The Daddy. Then he responded: Because you’re over 30! I blinked. To these younger eyes, over 30 meant something completely different to me. I dreaded to think what would happen when I was 40, 50, 60, 70. (Stomach flips.) And then I responded, finally tired of being told what or who I was.

LABELS

We obsess so much about who we are and what we are, but forget that it’s actually others who need the confirmation, not us. We can take our time or forget the labels completely. We don’t actually have to decide, especially not when others tell us to.

Right now, I’m Daniel. Mid-30s. Not a twink, not a daddy. The rest is unwritten, I guess. Maybe one day I’ll be a husband, a CEO, a nerd, a winner, a jock (lol – I can’t lift weights either) or a father, but they’re the labels I’ll wear when I’m ready and the time comes. Remember that before boxing in someone else in our mad world right now.

DANIEL HARDING is a British journalist, author, presenter and news producer. Having worked across multiple platforms and outlets, Daniel regularly writes about LGBTQ+ topics, and is an active supporter of his community. He also supports mental health awareness both within the community and outside, supporting multiple charities and events.

So, thanks to age, gravity and a beard that grew faster than my fingernails even though I had cut them two days ago (why?!), my label apparently “manned up,” grew hair and changed into…otter. Again, I conformed, I became it. An otter. “Okay. I’ll take it!”

Never again would I be a twink. Even if I clean shaved, ran faster and had eight hours of sleep at night, I could no longer claim this as my own tag. Ever. I mourned it like I did my favourite pair of jeans that I’d worn out the crotch area in. Jeans you cling on to for so long they basically become chaps.

It’s our choice what label we wear. Always remember that. And, no…you can’t call me DanielDaddy.Harding’s debut book, Gay Man Talking - All the conversations we never had, is out on September 21, 2022. For more information. visit www.hachette.co.uk.

Otters can wear chaps, right? So, like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon, I adopted my new persona: the otter. The label others now put onto me so that I knew my place in the race. A new box on my dating profile. Slender but not a twiglet (occasional portraying a belly after pizza was consumed), trimmed fur and still in a younger age bracket than the next tag to come. My new identity. My friends loved the beard (despite me claiming it was too itchy), I stopped wearing see-through tops (never okay for an otter, apparently) and got my claws into a comfortable new vibe. Was I ever really comfortable? However, now this phase seems to have gone quicker than my previous. Quicker than I’d have liked. And definitely faster than I can run a 5K (I can’t run.) Here I am, mid-30s, and I bring you back to those five painful words: Can I call you Daddy?

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CANADA’S DRAG RACE CONTENT MADE IN CANADA AHEAD OF SEASON FINALE CANADA’S DRAG RACE CELEBRATE CONTENT MADE IN CA N ADA AHEAD OF SEASON FINALE

“This is a cause that we can all rally behind,” said Gisèle Lullaby.

27 DRAG

QUEENS

The MADE | NOUS campaign, which was featured on the September 1 epic mini challenge, promotes Canadian creators from all walks of life and communities, and celebrates the full breadth of amazing Canadian-made television, film, video games and digital media content.

“To be able to see ourselves on television and in cinemas across the country is to know that we exist with pride! I love the content made in Canada, since it is produced by people from here for people like us!”

“MADE | NOUS is all about celebrating the power and beauty of diverse Canadian stories told on screen,” explained Mathieu Chantelois, executive vice-president of communications and public affairs at the Canada Media Fund, and lead of the MADE | NOUS campaign. “The diverse content made here by our homegrown talent – Canadian writers, directors, producers, performers and crew members – stands out on the world stage because it reflects who we are as a country and what we aspire to be. Simply put, the world needs more Canada!”

Category is: MADE | NOUS eleganza

La crème de la crème of Canada’s Drag Race Season 3 – Gisèle Lullaby, Kimmy Couture, Jada Shada Hudson and Miss Fiercalicious – have taken on one final design challenge, in partnership with MADE | NOUS, in anticipation of the can’t-miss finale on September 8. MADE | NOUS challenged the queens to show their love for film and TV that’s made in Canada, by transforming 100 per cent locally sourced MADE | NOUS T-shirts into fierce runway looks.

In addition to sharing their sickening MADE | NOUS couture looks, the queens spilled the tea on some of their favourite madein-Canada TV shows in the following pages. To discover more ferocious Canadian-made content, visit made-nous.ca.

Added Miss Fiercalicious, “Shows like Canada’s Drag Race allow queer individuals from all different walks of life to share their stories on a worldwide platform, connecting individuals who have lived similar experiences.”

QUEENS CELEBRATE

“With this look, I wanted to demonstrate how our culture is vibrant, full of talent and bringing together a range of creativity that brings us into different artistic spheres!” – Gisèle Lullaby

28 IN MAGAZINE DRAG

“Any series written by Marc Brunet, including Le cœur a ses raisons, Like-moi! and Les bobos. I also love Club Soly or C’est comme ça que je t’aime, which has a magnificent cast. It’s hard to just pick one! I’m also so proud to watch Laurence Leboeuf in Transplant, on CTV.”

WHAT IS SHE WATCHING?

THE INSPIRATION FOR HER LOOK?

Photo by Jean-Sébastien Senécal

WHAT IS SHE WATCHING?

–

“Kim’s Convenience has a very special place in my heart.” THE INSPIRATION FOR HER LOOK? “I’m serving you fetish inspired and make it fashion, with “MADE” all over my body because she got the assignment CORRECT!! She’s serving body, hair and beat face for the gods. I feel beautiful, powerful and unstoppable.” Kimmy Couture

29 DRAG

“1 Queen 5 Queers on Crave. It’s a new show that I’m a part of and it’s hosted by Brooke Lynn Hytes. It features a very diverse cast of queer people. Together, we address multiple LGBTQ2S+ topics, including sexuality, relationships and family. Our conversations lead to very funny and touching learning moments.”

THE INSPIRATION FOR HER LOOK?

30 IN MAGAZINE DRAG

WHAT IS SHE WATCHING?

”Oh honey, am giving you sleek, chic and ready to eat. Who doesn’t love a sexy black dress tight to the body moment? And because am very much single and looking (wink wink) some cute sexy cutouts at the side to show some skin honeyyy…” – Jada Shada Hudson

Photo by Colin Gaudet

31 DRAG

“I love Sort Of, on CBC Gem. Talk about strong queer representation.” THE INSPIRATION FOR HER LOOK?

“I am serving Punk Rock Couture! We’ve all seen that I can’t sew, so I chose to put together a deconstructed dress by joining the Made and Nous shirts in unity. This outfit is fiery and fierce, just like me!” – Miss Fiercalicious

Photo by Colin Gaudet

WHAT IS SHE WATCHING?

32 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER FASHION TWIN STYLE Fall brings with it opportunities to layer together for double the impact PHOTOGRAPHER: Ivan Otis WARDROBE STYLIST/HAIR/MAKEUP: Brian Phillips for worldSALON using WORLD Hair and Skin and NogginOIl MODELS: Yuvi Bhide and Sam Blair (both from Le Drew Models) All clothing and accessories available at WORLDMARKET, www.worldsalon.ca LINEN OVERSIZED SCARF: Zam Barrett for Zfactorie

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38 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER FASHION

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Unfortunately, the video seemed to validate for some the narrative that the LGBTQ+ community is trying to “groom” children. This narrative, which was a staple of homophobia from generations past, has seen a meteoric resurgence among conservatives in the past year, abetted in no small part by influential social media accounts such as “Libs of TikTok.”

Conservative lawmakers quickly noticed. Texas legislator Brian Slaton declared that he would introduce legislation banning minors from attending drag performances. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis mused whether child protective services should investigate parents who take their children to see drag shows.

The video sparked outrage – because some felt that this particular performance was not appropriate for children and its existence was a bad look for the LGBTQ+ community.

...Because the issue is likely to flare up again and again

Drag queen storytimes have always attracted some controversy.

How To Dampen The Moral

Dorval, a suburb of Montreal, was flooded with complaints after one of its libraries announced that it would be hosting a drag queen storytime. “I’ve worked for the city for almost 20 years.

The tsunami of revulsion and hatred was dizzying. I’ve worked extensively with Toronto’s drag community, having photographed and filmed some of Canada’s most recognizable drag queens.

Pre-existing concerns about child grooming created the kindling for a moral panic – which the Dallas video duly set aflame.

Like many LGBTQ people living in downtown Toronto, I know several drag queens personally. The people I’ve met in real life bear little resemblance to the bogeymen hallucinated in some conservative circles.

However, as a centre-right columnist at the National Post , a conservative newspaper, I also know many conservatives and am familiar with the conservative media ecosystem. Having an insider perspective into both of these worlds, I’d like to share some insights that can help disentangle this moral panic and, ideally, provide some constructive ways to dampen it.

This outrage then bled over into Canada, where several libraries were met with threats of violence for hosting drag queen storytimes daytime family-friendly events where drag queens read books to children, typically on such topics as inclusion and anti-bullying.

I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Sébastien Gauthier, a spokesperson for the city.

ByAdam Zivo

42 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER CULTUREANDPOLITICS

The first thing for many LGBTQ+ people to remember is that the people who fear drag queens don’t have much experience interacting with them. They don’t know drag culture. As a result, they miss many of the nuances that members of the LGBTQ+ community may take for granted.

Earlier this year, conservative commentators erupted in a new moral panic over whether drag queens are corrupting children. A torrent of articles and declarations washed over the news, decrying what, in some people’s minds, constituted a wave of “child grooming.” The issue was blown completely out of proportion.

For example, Toronto’s Fay Slift, who was a pioneer of the format and now hosts her own children’s show, “The Fabulous Show with Fay & Fluffy,” has long been subject to online harassment campaigns, including death threats.

The outcry over drag performers ignited when a video surfaced of an event called “Drag Your Kids to Pride.” The event, which was held in Dallas on June 4, featured drag queens – whose outfits and dance moves were often sexualized – performing to an audience that included many children.

Until this summer, these controversies were relatively minor and quarantined within niche groups. However, in the wake of the new moral panic over drag queens, over half a dozen libraries across Canada were inundated online and over the phone with slurs and occasional threats of violence. The problem became serious enough that pro-LGBTQ volunteers showed up at some events to protect participants.

DragAgainstPanicQueens

The kind of drag queens who read to kids at libraries are generally the latter kind – those emulating clowns, not strippers. They’re the kind of queens who are interested in using the silliness of drag to coax kids into loving reading. Fay Slift is emblematic of this kind of drag queen.

For example, US Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted an image of a drag queen, Holly Hazmat, wearing nothing but a thong, and then insinuated that Hazmat had been dressed that

It’s tempting to simply dismiss people like Marjorie Taylor Greene as bad faith actors who are deliberately misrepresenting drag queens to demonize them. To do so would put the blame squarely at their feet and absolve ourselves of responsibility for the current situation, but the actual situation is more complicated.

It would also help to call attention to the distinction between drag queens performing for children, and children performing drag. People often conflate these two distinct issues. The former isn’t a big deal, so long as queens keep their performances child-

Ideally, this loop could be broken by getting conservatives to talk to drag queens who provide responsible children’s entertainment so conservatives can see that queens are generally reasonable people with good intentions. But that kind of bridge-building seems impossible sometimes. That’s partially because many conservatives revile drag queens and so aren’t inclined to reach out to them, but also because drag queens are uninterested in using strategic communications to calm down conservative hysteria (which is understandable – it takes a lot of strength to reach out to people who are essentially calling you a pedophile).

In the absence of direct contact, the next-best option would be to explain these distinctions to conservatives – differences in drag styles, career compartmentalization and the importance of not generalizing from cherry-picked incidents.

CULTUREANDPOLITICS

But there’s a complicating factor. Not all queens who read at libraries have wholesome, clown-like personas. Many edgy queens also read at libraries. When they do, they typically sanitize themselves and their performances accordingly – because that’s just common sense. Drag queens are people – they generally recognize that you shouldn’t wear the same outfit to a 1 am club performance as you would to a daytime children’s library event. They try their best to navigate different audiences in a respectful, but entertaining, way. Is this kind of compartmentalization acceptable? Arguably yes – it’s already routinely done with entertainers of all stripes. Christina Aguilera and Snoop Dogg have both supported youth programming, despite being legendary for their raunch and violent lyrics, respectively. Rap group Migos has a hit song that references selling cocaine, but they still performed a youth-friendly show at the 2019 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. Holding drag queens to a different standard, and denying them the freedom to compartmentalize different parts of their career, is unfair and hypocritical. However, it’s hard to talk about this to conservatives, as prominent conservative voices often either miss, or intentionally ignore, this capacity for compartmentalization..

43 way at a family-friendly Pride event in Chicago. “This should be illegal,” said Greene. Hazmat responded, “This isn’t real. You have got to be joking me. This is not how I dress for all ages shows.” Images of the Chicago event showed Hazmat wearing a jacket and tutu, skin covered up – more like a clown, not a stripper. But by this point, Hazmat had already been inundated with death threats.

There are definitely cringe-worthy outlier events where drag queens aren’t conscientious about child-appropriateness, such as the aforementioned Drag Your Kids to Pride incident. These outliers are typically heavily amplified in conservative media, creating the impression that they are the norm, rather than the exception. That then creates a perverse feedback loop of hysteria cherry-picked incidents are blown out of proportion, which primes conservatives to assume the worst in drag queens (and therefore ignore things like compartmentalization), generating more incidents to be outraged over.

For example, LGBTQ+ people generally understand that drag fuses many different forms of entertainment – standup comedy, dance, clowning, performance art and so on. Drag is a very flexible art form. It can look like a lot of different things. There are drag queens who dress and dance like strippers. There are also more wholesome drag queens who emulate clowns.

When conservatives get angry over drag queens, it’s usually because they are shown photos and videos of stripper-style drag queens – those with massive silicone breasts, thongs and so on. Lacking awareness of the broader context of drag, they assume that all drag looks like this. To assuage these people’s anger, the LGBTQ+ community should call attention to the different kinds of drag that exist. Right now, we simply assert that drag queens are appropriate for kids without being specific about type – because we take it for granted that everyone knows queens at libraries aren’t going to dress like strippers.

It would be better for the LGBTQ+ community to clearly communicate that only some kinds of drag are child-appropriate and that only child-appropriate queens are supported. It would also be helpful to explain how child-appropriate drag queens can uniquely get children invested in reading and anti-bullying messages (this is crucial, as critics often wonder why exactly a drag queen needs to be in a library in the first place).

However, these explanations work only if there is a sense of trust. Building trust means recognizing the existence (and inappropriateness) of outlier incidents where queens have exposed kids to sexual content. When this is not done, conservatives feel gaslit and think that LGBTQ+ people refuse to acknowledge, and even tacitly condone, drag queens being sexual in front of kids. Coming together and jointly condemning incidents of child-inappropriate drag at child-centred events would build trust and create opportunities for LGBTQ+ people to talk with conservatives about the meaning of these incidents – to parse out the good from the bad and show that, in most cases, drag queens are not something to worry about.

Photo by Rochelle Brown on Unsplash

44 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER CULTUREANDPOLITICS

Similarly, conservatives are often committed to a libertarian conception of parenthood, wherein parents are free to raise their children as they please with minimal government interference. If so, then conservatives should respect these rights for progressive parents, too. If you feel uncomfortable with drag queens, just keep your kids at home and refrain from infringing on other parents’ rights to determine what entertainment is appropriate for their own Thesechildren.are,atleast,

friendly, whereas the latter is arguably inappropriate in the same way that child beauty pageants are inappropriate. But those are separate issues – analogously, the weirdness of Toddlers and Tiaras shouldn’t preclude adult beauty pageant competitors from participating in child-friendly events. Explicitly addressing this is important, because it stops the backlash over child drag from bleeding over into other areas, and, at the same time, reinforces the idea that “drag” is a complex topic and shouldn’t be painted with a broad brush. None of this communication work is easy, and some might argue that it’s unfair for these burdens to fall upon the LGBTQ+ community – why should we have to put in the work of calming down some conservatives who have whipped themselves up into a hysteria? But life is unfair. What matters in the end is what gets results. If this kind of communications approach dampens anger towards the LGBTQ+ community, which is already increasingly vulnerable amid an anti-queer backlash, then you simply run with it. In the worst-case scenario, you can always shift the framing of the conversation to centre on conservative values – free speech and parents’ rights are good examples. You can argue that conservatives who believe that libraries shouldn’t deplatform speakers accused of transphobia should, in a similar spirit, argue against deplatforming drag queens. Free speech is not a principle you defend only when it’s convenient for you, after all.

CULTUREANDPOLITICS

some ideas from a gay conservative who peeks into different communities that don’t often talk to one another. With the summer having ended, the panic over drag queens appears to be subsiding, but it’s never too early to start preparing for next Pride season, when the issue will likely flare up again.

ADAM ZIVO is IN Magazine’s politics and culture columnist. He is a Toronto-based social entrepreneur, photographer and analyst best known for founding the LoveisLoveisLove campaign.

“Holding drag queens to a different standard, and denying them the freedom to compartmentalize different parts of their career, is unfair and hypocritical.”

Is some homophobia self-phobia?

Even asking the question seems suspicious nowadays, because it suggests someone is looking for a fix, and progressive Western societies have lost interest in “fixing” gay and lesbian people (trans and nonbinary people, though increasingly accepted, continue to attract unwanted speculation). An increasing number of small-l liberal governments have opted to declare us equal regardless of how the differences in our romantic and sexual attractions came to be.

46 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER WHEN WILL SCIENCE TELL US EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE?

Some of this research, on the surface, now merits a giggle or a raised eyebrow. But the interest in the cause or causes of homosexuality has waned. That’s partly because the answer, if you’re looking for one in science rather than in God’s will, seems to be very complicated.

Years ago, researchers and armchair commentators liked to bat around the question of what causes homosexuality. It wasn’t just a part of the personal journey of those coming out and the people around them, but a part of the public debate about how gay and lesbian people should or should not be integrated into society. Were we equals, genetic defectives, perverts, fetuses exposed to certain chemicals while our mothers were pregnant, or the offspring of parents who paid us too little attention, too much attention, or the wrong kind of attention? Experiments about how finger-length correlates with sexual orientation, for example, which would imply that something happened in the womb, have been around since the early 2000s and still pop up occasionally.

The most recent and most comprehensive study to date, published in 2019 in the journal Science , concluded: “Same-sex sexual behaviour is influenced by not one or a few genes but many. Overlap with genetic influences on other traits provides insights into the underlying biology of same-sex sexual behaviour, and analysis of different aspects of sexual preference underscore its complexity and call into question the validity of bipolar continuum measures such as the Kinsey scale. Nevertheless, many uncertainties remain to be explored, including how sociocultural influences on sexual preference might interact with genetic influences.”

By Paul Gallant

INSIGHT

Photo by Lareised Leneseur on Unsplash

Negative emotions towards gay and lesbian people overlap with negative feelings towards prostitutes and even straight non-monogamy. “Motivations to avoid infection do not seem related to unique features of gay men or lesbian women. Rather, this association is common with other groups associated with sexual norm violations,” states the study. The impulse seems to be less “I don’t want to be around him because I might get HIV,” and more “I need to stay away from people who violate the norms.”

A population that’s not scared that everything will kill it doesn’t have as much incentive to marginalize queer people as one that’s on guard at all times. The best cure for homophobia might be to make sure everyone in a society feels safe and secure.

Because the study found a correlation in most of the 31 countries – irrespective of, say, variation in politics, healthcare systems, wealth and assorted cultural practices – the results suggest that the disgust–anti-gay correlation goes back a long way in history. “These would be motivations that are common to all humans,” Van Leeuwen told me.

PAUL GALLANT is a Toronto-based writer and editor who writes about travel, innovation, city building, social issues (particularly LGBT issues) and business for a variety of national and international publications. He’s done time as lead editor at the loop magazine in Vancouver as well as Xtra and fab in Toronto. His debut novel, Still More Stubborn Stars, published by Acorn Press, is out now.

47 INSIGHTWhich takes me to the intriguing work of Florian Van Leeuwen and the fellow academics he’s collaborated with over the last few years. Van Leeuwen, who is an assistant professor of social and behavioural sciences and social psychology at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, focuses a lot of his work on the effects of threats on social perception and moral judgments. Much of this work is built on the idea of a “behavioural immune system,” which looks at how our emotions and gut-driven behaviours (rather than our skin, bone marrow or antibodies) jump in to protect us from infection from pathogens. Because the behavioural immune system is psychological, it can respond prejudicially, leading us to avoid and react negatively to things that are not actual threats.

The first part of Van Leeuwen’s research project gave participants a ranking system where they suggested whether someone, gay or straight, would be more likely to fight or surrender. They found that participants who strongly associated gay with “surrender” (and straight with “fight”) also reported stronger tendencies to be aggressive towards gay men. In the second part of the project, researchers found that participants who demonstrated a higher “commitment to coalitional defense” were associated with more severe punishment of an offender when the offender was described as a gay man.

The results, like so much of social science, have caveats. Religiosity and traditionalism have an effect. (I wonder if people who are more religious and more traditional are also more prone to disgust, or if their intense levels of disgust make them more religious and traditional.)

“Our findings may contribute to an explanation of why homophobia sometimes involves anger or punitive sentiments (rather than disgust and avoidance), and why aggressive homophobia is typically more strongly focused on gays than lesbians,” states the paper. A behaviour that perhaps made sense in earlier societies has lingered in the modern world where, say, a computer programmer can contribute more to communal defence than someone who gets into a lot of bar brawls. You might conclude this homophobic

behavioural immune system needs an upgrade.

Though there have been smaller studies examining this correlation, mostly in the United States and Canada, this new study, based on responses from 11,200 participants, was intended to find out if this tendency crosses cultures. Using questionnaires to set up on different scales, researchers measured participants’ general propensity to disgust, their attitudes towards gay and lesbian people, their religiosity and their traditionalism. And they found a connection: disgust sensitivity predicted opposition to gay marriage and opposition to gay and lesbian sexual orientation, and it predicted overall negative attitudes towards gay men and lesbians.

Historically, queer people have often been considered a threat in many, if not all, societies. Where do those feelings come from? What is this prejudice allegedly protecting people from? Van Leeuwen’s research started with personal curiosity. “I have a long-standing interest in why people would have negative attitudes towards gay men. Reasoning from my limited perspective as a heterosexual man, I never understood that,” Van Leeuwen told me in an interview. “Let’s put it this way. One of the worries that a heterosexual man might have is that some other man comes along and steals his woman. Right? Gay men are very unlikely to do that. So if you start to think strategically, you’d expect men to want other men to be gay. Of course, that’s a very simplistic model, and this is not what we see. But it suggests to me that there is some kind of a puzzle.”

In a 2016 paper, Van Leeuwen and his collaborators considered whether aggressive homophobia in recent Western cultures might stem from the feeling that gay men are defectors, individuals who wouldn’t contribute fully to group defence and are therefore free riders in a society. In earlier eras, when communities were under constant threat of invasion, men who were seen as weak, feminine, promiscuous or unreproductive and, most relevantly, unconcerned with violent and risky activities, might not be good defenders. Therefore, a protection-oriented man’s behavioural immune system would kick in with aggressive emotions to marginalize and punish these supposed defectors.

In a 2022 paper, Van Leeuwen worked with academics in 31 different countries to examine whether heterosexual people with high levels of disgust sensitivity – that is, they have stronger reactions than other people to smells, textures and colours that suggest the presence of infectious pathogens – are more likely to be anti-gay. That is (this is my summary, by the way, not Van Leeuwen’s), do conscious or unconscious stereotypes about anal sex, gay promiscuity and, in more recent history, HIV/AIDS trigger exaggerated feelings of disgust in certain people? Might that happen even if the disgusted person’s risk of “contamination” is non-existent because, of course, the straight man or woman isn’t having sex with the gay person? Is the kind of person who freaks out more than an average person at, say, a dirty sink more likely to freak out when he or she encounters a gay man?

In many modern societies, this tricky problem of homophobia is diminishing. I wonder if the medical achievements and peace of our era, at least here in North America, might be a considerable factor in social acceptance of gay and lesbian people, along with other factors such as the gay liberation movement and more people coming out.

Photo by Hawai‘i Tourism Authority (HTA) / John Hook

Hawai‘i is historically hospitable People have been visiting and loving Hawai‘i since the mid-1800s,

By Doug Wallace

A healthy heritage and responsible regeneration can make your culture trip to Hawai‘i all the more magical

Mālama Hawai‘i Taking A Trip That Gives Back originally arriving to see the Kīlauea volcano, an overwhelmingly beautiful – and still very active! – environment. But Hawai‘i’s long history of LGBTQ+ identity and acceptance began in pre-colonial times, when the Māhū – or “in the middle” people – maintained respected social and spiritual positions within the community, often as healers. Fast-forwarding to today, you will easily recognize that all six of the major Hawaiian Islands to visit are diverse and

The sun and sand, the rainforest and rugged natural terrain – this truly is paradise. A visit to Hawai‘i is a tropical island experience that lures 10.5 million visitors per year – and a safe and welcoming destination for members of the LGBTQ+ community.

TRAVEL

48 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER

Photo by Hawai‘i Tourism Authority (HTA) / John Hoo

Take only pictures, leave only footprints

It’s easy to breeze through an island vacation without a care in the world. But with tourism making a comeback, a renewed interest in kuleana, or “responsibility,” is taking shape in Hawai‘i. Visitors are encouraged to mālama ka’aina – take care of the land – in the spirit of giving back to the land, the seas, the wildlife, the forest – really the whole community. When you travel responsibly, you are part of the continuous circle of island life, keeping it going through regenerative tourism. Pay-it-forward initiatives promote cleaning up the coastline, beaches, hiking trails and parks, as well as tree-planting and fish-pond rejuvenation. Tourists can also connect with the land in other ways, exploring the world of sustainable farming and making a positive impact through environmental stewardship.

Start packing your bags!

TRAVEL

A warm welcome is the hallmark of Hawaiian hospitality. But more than just a simple greeting, “Aloha” is a concept. It expresses a sense of being in the presence of and sharing the essence of life, which in turn promotes peace, kindness and compassion, and champions a responsibility to the future of the land and of the people. This construct is expressed through heritage arts, including music, the hula and traditional chants. These chants describe the islands, the spirits that surround them, the forces of nature that shaped them and the things that live on them – further fostering the theory that everything truly is related. This connection is the very root of Hawaiian culture. When you visit Hawai‘i, you can help champion this need to care for the environment and each other, support local festivals and events, buy from local vendors, and preserve Hawaiian heritage and cultural practices.

DOUG WALLACE is an international travel and lifestyle writer, photographer and customcontent authority, principal of Wallace Media and editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He can be found beside buffet tables, on massage tables and table-hopping around the world. inclusive, the 50th US state being an early adopter of same-sex marriage in 2013. Anchor your trip to Pride Honolulu Pride is Hawai‘i’s biggest LGBTQ+ celebration, with the parade route along Kalākaua Avenue in Waikīkī drawing approximately 30,000 people each year. This fun-fest of diversity, creativity and solidarity radiates an overwhelming spirit of togetherness throughout Honolulu Pride Month in October, which coincides with LGBT History Month, National Coming Out Day and Spirit Day. The Festival at Diamond Head Greens is a familyfriendly day of music and activities, and the Honolulu Rainbow Film Festival celebrates its 33rd year in 2022. E komo mai means “everyone is welcome.”

The GoHawaii website is an excellent reference for great ideas, travel tips and insight into the Hawaiian Islands. Canadians planning a winter escape or a destination wedding can find more information at gohawaii.com/ca. For details on how to experience a rewarding trip to Hawai‘i that gives back, visit gohawaii.com/malama. And for information on the Hawaii LGBT Legacy Foundation, head to hawaiilgbtlegacyfoundation.com.

Photo by Hawai‘i Tourism Authority (HTA) / Tor Johnson

Help preserve the Hawaiian culture

HollywoodTheHILLS

A breeze through Los Angeles provides a glamorous escape into the urban adventures of the beautiful people

50 IN MAGAZINE

By Doug Wallace For

Head

51 TRAVEL“Okay, now turn your right foot to face the Hollywood Sign and set up your back foot for Warrior One.”

I am really not in Kansas anymore, I think. I’m on the roof of the Thompson Hollywood hotel, trying to keep my bald pate out of the sun and my right hip pulled back. I’m getting a good stretch not too far from a very lovely swimming pool that will eventually provide a refreshing post-yoga dip. I’d had lunch at an adjacent café the day before – a niçoise salad, naturally, this being the land of health and swellness – so I can skip that today. But I say, “Hey” to some of the blue-and-white-striped wait staff I recognize, all of them gorgeous. Actors, of course. They’re everywhere in this town. Normally, I would be swinging with the hipsters in West Hollywood, L.A. Gay Central. But this time, I’m living the dream in Hollywood proper – watching the shiny Escalades ferry around the beautiful people who make the movie machine hum, and connecting with the rhythm of the regular daytime people who make this part of town run. Everybody is going about their business, good-naturedly pointing tourists in the right direction. Me, I get lost. I’m looking for a fancy tequila store, and in making a course correction, I find myself on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in all its terrazzo and brass glory. In a moment of total kismet, within the first five metres I see my favourite movie star – Angela Lansbury. Trying not to step on a homeless person, I inadvertently step on Angela Lansbury. It really doesn’t get any gayer than Angela Lansbury. Except maybe Linda Evans. With iconic stuff practically everywhere you look, it’s hard to determine exactly what to do first in Hollywood. There are numerous, extremely fun bus tours – of celebrities’ homes and the beautiful surrounding hillsides. Universal Studios Hollywood is one of the biggest tourist attractions and Hollywood Boulevard itself is a sea of kaleidoscopic, head-spinning things to transport you to Hollywood’s golden era, while rubbing you up against its tawdry underbelly. We decide to branch out a bit, heading over to Burbank to the Warner Bros.’ Studio Tour and instantly turning into kids again. We’re still in the lobby, but already taking selfies with a bronze Bugs Bunny. The Instagram moments that follow include Scooby Doo, The Big Bang Theory living room, the Harry Potter Sorting Hat, and the Friends fountain and famous orange couch, which ends up being made of rock-hard fibreglass – make-believe is big in this town. We follow this visit with one to the new Academy Museum of Motion Pictures on Wilshire Boulevard, which is featuring a brilliant exhibition on animation, including a thorough retrospective of Japanese animated filmmaker Hayao Miyazaki. A small corner of the museum’s top floor exhibits a Toy Story zoetrope, an age-old optical toy wherein a rotating platform gives still figurines the impression of continuous motion. I can’t seem

52 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER

When we’re not eating, we’re drinking, of course. Hollywood is chockablock with cocktail bars, each one seemingly more inventive than the next. 71 Studio Bar at Grandmaster Recorders pays homage to the location’s former life as a recording studio, favoured by the likes of David Bowie and Stevie Wonder. Sunset & Vinyl spins actual vinyl in a retro rumpus room-style environment, replete with velvet furniture and low lights. The glam Tramp Stamp Granny’s is owned by Glee star Darren Criss – that’s enough of a draw for me. And the Black Rabbit Lounge is the only magic-themed bar in town, featuring table-side magic tricks and nightly live music.

DOUG WALLACE is an international travel and lifestyle writer, photographer and custom-content authority, principal of Wallace Media and editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He can be found beside buffet tables, on massage tables and table-hopping around the world. to pry myself away from it, watching it five times over, seeing something new each time. Other times, I eat Americans love their food, of course, and Los Angeles is the land of plenty. Hollywood itself has a number of destination restaurants. I plop down on a bar stool at Peruvian hot spot Los Balcones, across the street from Netflix, and order a creamy Pisco Sour and a plate of ceviche, perfectly spicy, sprinkled with crispy corn kernels. This Peruvian theme continues the next day at Smorgasburg, a weekly food truck festival at a produce market in Downtown, where the first thing in my mouth is a pork belly taco from Little Llama Peruvian Tacos. I follow this with Chimmelier Korean fried chicken, and brave the lineup at Lobsterdamus. Little wonder, then, that I’m not hungry when I sink into a red leather booth later at Musso & Frank restaurant, a Hollywood classic at 103 years old. It’s on my list due to its special appearance as the favourite haunt of Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin in The Kominski Method. My plate of duck confit is heaven itself. I grab a quick shot of the gorgeous frescos above the banquettes before I leave, only to be scolded by the manager for intruding on the privacy of his patrons in this way. Tsk-tsk. Being Canadian, I naturally apologize, before harumphing, “There’s nobody here anyway,” on my way out. It’s not like I’m paparazzi-ing Al Pacino or anything.

TRAVEL

Rooftop bars are still all the rage in Hollywood, most of them anchored to a boutique hotel, all of them filled with more beautiful people per square metre than I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Desert 5 Spot – a country bar, of all things – tops the roof of the boutique Tommie Hollywood around the corner from my headquarters, the Thompson. People are actually wearing cowboy hats. What seem like a couple of rock bands loll about in the cabanas ringing the pool at The Highlight Room Grill on the roof of the Dream Hollywood hotel, another see-and-be-seen scene.

The Mamma Shelter Los Angeles hotel has what seems like the most popular rooftop lounge, gauging by the stylish crowd surrounding the doormen, who are carefully counting the bodies up and down the stairwell. I decide to call it a night and head home. I got yoga in the morning.

And his life in politics didn’t end after serving as Winnipeg’s mayor. He left Manitoba and relocated to Ontario, where he served as MPP for Toronto Centre from 2010 to 2017. He also served in the provincial Cabinet as Minister of Research and Innovation (2010); Minister of Training, Colleges and Universities (2011–12); Minister of Transportation and Minister of Infrastructure (2013); and Minister of the Environment and Climate Change (2014). He announced his resignation from Cabinet on July 31, 2017, and his resignation from the legislature effective September 1, 2017. He ran for leadership of the Green Party in 2020 (and placed fourth). This past June, he announced that he will be running for his old job as mayor of Winnipeg in this year’s municipal election.

Throughout his career, Murray has been an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. Prior to winning his 1998 election for mayor, he was a co-founder of Winnipeg’s first HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention clinic. As a city councillor, he fought for recognition of LGBTQ+ celebrations such as Pride.

Screencapture:about.”YouTube

On October 28, 1998, Glen Murray made history when he was elected Winnipeg’s 41st mayor, becoming the first openly gay mayor of any large city in North America. Murray was re-elected in 2002.

Murray has previously said that part of the reason he pursued a career in politics was to make a difference for future generations of LGBTQ+ Canadians. When he was the mayor of Winnipeg, he often received phone calls that brought back memories of his own high school days.

“I used to get a lot of calls from parents who had LGBT kids who just wanted to talk about their kids. My staff used to joke that I was like the councillor for parents who had queer teens because I was one of the only resources that people knew

FLASHBACK

Glen Murray Becomes North America’s First Openly Gay Mayor Of A Major City (October 28, 1998)

54 IN MAGAZINE 2022OCTOBER/SEPTEMBER inmagazine.ca ONLINEPUBLISHEDINMagazineCABI-MONTHLYCONTENTEVERYDAY IN MAGAZINE IS CANADA’S LEADING LGBTQ2+ DIGITAL PUBLICATION, WEBSITE AND COMMUNITY PLATFORM

IN Magazine: September/October 2022

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FLASHBACK: OCTOBER 28, 1998 IN LGBTQ+ HISTORY

MĀLAMA HAWAI‘I – TAKING A TRIP

HEAD FOR THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS A breeze through Los Angeles provides a glamorous escape into the urban adventures of the beautiful people

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SOME OF YOU NEED TO START PRACTISING SEX-NEGATIVITY

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